CFS 2700 Ch. 5 pt 2 What is love? how does it develop?
love- men
-fall in love more quickly (due to not sharing and disclosing as much) -instrumental styles of love -more likely to see sex as a way to express love -can more easily separate love and sex -more likely to subscribe to romantic beliefs about love and believe in love at first sight (fewer intimate relationships therefore--special)
Love In American Culture - Past
colonial america-marriage was regarded as a business arrangement between the fathers of respective families -dowries: what a women brings to the marriage that was arranged
empty love
commitment only -couple who stays together for legal and social reasons with no spark
what does it mean to solidify being gay
falling/ being in love with the same sex
cognitive development of love
front part of brain removed---incapable of love
passion love
intense sexual attraction
companionate love
intimacy and commitment without passion -couple whos been together for 50 years
romantic
intimacy and passion without commitment -similar to liking but more intense and includes physical or emotional attraction
Sternburg's Triangular Theory of Love
intimacy, passion, commitment -each component can be enlarged or diminished throughout relationships which can effect quality of relationship -can be combined to create different outcomes
consummate love
intimacy, passion, commitment -ultimate, all consuming love
intimacy
the ability to form close, loving relationships
commitment
to promise or pledge
love
- no formal definition -depends on context -both a feeling and activity -understanding how love works in the day to day world may help us keep our love vital and growing
love- women
-less likely to be as quick to characterize a particular relationship as love (have more intimate relationships) -historically more at risk to say in love (too risky) -men could be more romantic because they were economically better off -women need to be more realistic thinking about stable provider
sexual orientation and love
-love is neither more nor less important for straight, gays, bi -love may have special significance in the formation of a same sex or bisexual relationship -significant number of people have had sexual experiences with the other sex but do not identify as gay -gender differences in experiencing/ expressing intimacy may vary depending on the relational context
Love in American Culture - Present
-new ideal of marriage that began to develop in early decades of the 20th century (companionate marriage) -spouses are to be each others best friends, confidants and romantic partners
psychological conditions for love
-self esteem:enables individuals to feel worthy of being loved -self disclosure:disclosing oneself is another way to invest in one another
Descriptions of love
1. infatuation 2. romantic 3. companionate love 4. fatuous love 5. empty love 6. consummate love
physiological development of love
being physiologically anxious or aroused allows a person to define themselves as being in love
love marks the beginning of
sexual wholeness and acceptence
fatuous love
passion and commitment without intimacy -love at first sight -couple who are passionate and talk about future but are not intimately connected
infatuation
passion with out intimacy and commitment -two people flirting in a bar
the ways love develops
physiological, cognitive and psychological