Ch. 9 emotion in relationships and society

companionate love

love characterized by security, mutual care, and protection as well as affection and shared fun

predicting divorce

"four horsemen of the Apocalypse"; four behaviors displayed during conflict conversations -criticism -defensiveness -contempt -stonewalling

synchrony

*mechanism of attachment -behavior between the infant and caregiver predicts secure attachment to fathers

oxytocin

*mechanism of attachment -released during childbirth, nursing, skin-to-skin touch promotes both infant attachment and maternal bonding -PNV is a source of this

early emotional bonds

-1st experience of emotional relationships is almost always with parents -we are hard wired to quickly know who will take care of us -at 6 to 9 months infants develop capacity to form more intense and selective emotional bonds

attachment study results

-56% secure (longest relationships, least likely to be divorced; describe most important love as happy, friendly, trusting; believe ups and downs are normal in relationships) -25% avoidant (report fear of closeness, inability to accept imperfections; most likely to agree romantic love does not last forever; most likely to describe self as independent) -19% anxious (obsessively preoccupied with parters, intense high and lows; most likely to report love at first sight, and say they will fall in love easily; feel misunderstood, unappreciated, and self doubting

genetic influence of attachment styles

-been linked to polymorphism of serotonin receptor gene -moderately consistent over time, and across caregivers -may be born with predisposition to one style or another

function of attachment

-begins around 6 months of age, soon after babies began to crawl -helps babies balance the need to explore, independently with the need to stay near protective caregivers

strange study results

-between 6 and 2 year olds 1.infant plays freely and checks in with parent 3. most cry loudly and protest, sometimes to follow the parent when they are leaving 5. stranger provides some comfort but very little 6. infant soothed quickly and easily and is able to return to play

whom do we find attractive

-both men and women best qualities are intelligence and kindness -signs of physical health -statistically average features -in women waist to hip ratio around .7 -overall weight preference varies across cultures -happiness and sense of humor -both men and women liking influences perceived attractiveness

signs of attraction

-both men and women match each others posture and other nonverbal cues when attracted to each other -women shot darting glances, hair flips, and throws head back -both sexes lick lips, bites when feeling desire

companionate love: emotional aspects

-deep caring -sense of comfort and relaxation -trust -feelings of stability -daily emotions are not as intense -deep betrayal is possible leading to jealousy, loneliness anger, and/or depression

functions of gratitude

-find: good relationships partners and invest in them -remind: us of who has demonstrated commitment to our well being in the past -bind: beneficiary to benefactor and vice versa, increasing willingness to give, cooperate

companionate love: behavioral aspects

-gaze -close physical proximity -easy physical contact and sexuality -efficient non-verbal communication -engagement of activities not always centered around the other

attachment in friendships and groups

-healthy friendships in childhood, adolescences predict psychological health and well being in adulthood -oxytocin increases trust -synchronized behavior can facilitate cooperation in groups

attachment discoveries study

-hospitialized children in 1940s -bowlby noticed children depression, anxiety, and failure to thrive

passionate love: emotional aspects

-intensity of experience -sexual attraction -polarization of affect dependent on circumstances -longing for reciprocity -desire for complete, Vermonter physical union -physiological arousal (ANS)

companionate love: cognitive aspects

-intimacy -self-disclosure -profound knowledge of other -longterm expectations and plans

romantic love and marriage

-modern western cultures emphasize romantic Loe as main reason for marriage -other cultures encourage marriages based on compatibility -both love and arranged marriages can be happy, or unhappy

what helps marriages succeed

-new activities together: combat boredom -see the whole partner: see flaws in only certain settings and pertaining to specific situations -equity, not score keeping: feel contributions, effete and resources balanced -communicate openly: high levels of self disclosure; sharing personal intimate and confidential information

seperation distress

-opioid drugs alleviate distress -cries associated with sudden decrease in endorphins

is empathy good for aromatic relationships

-participants asked to guess what their partners were thinking, feeling during several points in a videotaped conflict conversation -when partners thought, feelings were non- threatening, accuracy predicted greater increase in felt closeness -when partner thoughts, feelings were relationship- threatening, accuracy predicted decline in felt closeness

self-expansion

-partners begin to identify more strongly with each other's personality, activities and attitudes -couples may begin to overestimate their similarity, predict each others attitudes, behavior more confidently without greater accuracy

oxytocin and pair bonding

-prairie vs. meadow voles -injecting oxytocin in the brains of prairie voles will cause them to attach to the near by male with out even mating -in humans men with more vasopressin receptors have closer relationships with their wives, are less likely to consider divorce

passionate love: cognitive aspects

-preoccupation with others -idealization of partner -desire to know and be known -difficulty concentrating on other issues -intorception

lesioning the PVN effects maternal behavior

-prior to parturition will dampen maternal behavior in new rat mothers but not after

attachment defined by

-proximity seeking -safe haven -secure base

marriages more likely to last when...

-spouses were over 20 when they marries -spouses similar in age, education, religion, activities, and attitudes -spouses both disposition ally happy -grew up in 2 parent homes -have a good income -have sex often, argue rarely -live in a small town or rural area -dated for sometime before marriage; did not live together

passionate love: behavioral aspects

-trying to interpret ad predict other's behavior and intentions -discussing the other with friends and family -studying other -assisting other -maintaining physical closeness -courting, flirting -sex

adult attachment and separation results

-women who scored higher on AVOIDANCE showed fewer contact and caregiving, more avoidant behaviors -women who scored higher on ANXIETY reported feeling greater distress about the separation -among men, attachment style did not predict feelings or behaviors -implications: attachment style predicted operation related outcomes for women through not men; AVOIDANCE more strongly predicted BEHAVIOR, ANXIETY more strongly predicted FEELINGS

compassion

a caring concerned response to another's distress -feeling experienced in response to another's suffering that motivates helping behavior

passionate love

a stage of love marked by frequent thoughts about the other person, intense desire to be together, and excitement from the partner's attention -is rewarding: loved ones face activates dopaminergic reward circuit

empathetic accuracy

ability to figure out what another person is thinking and feeling

emotional empathy

actually feeling what another person is feeling

nurturant love

an emotion elicited by cues of youth, vulnerability, and helplessness; motivates caregiving intended ti enhance well being -mammalian mothers nurture young by grooming, licking, rubbing, and carrying, as well as feeding and protecting -cute stimuli evoke greater caution in processing persuasive messages, accuracy in motor task

criticism

attacking, blaming, and complaining about partners' flaws

avoidant caregiving style

distant, unresponsive to infant cues -seeking parents attention during play and crying when they leave became pointless

adult attachment style: dimensional approach

based on working models of self and others -Anxiety: more negative views of self worth, desirability as a partner -Avoidance: more negative views of others trust-worthiness, value in inanimate relationships -can label quadrants for a more categorical approach

sympathy

concerned attention for someone who is suffering -heart rate slows

monkey study implications

confirmed dramatic consequences of maternal separation and importance of warmth and comfort, rather than food, as basis for maternal-infant bonding

endorphins

decrease suddenly during separation distress -affect similar to heroine and morphine -body natural pain killer

defensiveness

denying partner's concerns are valid, making excuses, and counter-criticizing

secure base

deriving a sense of security, confidence in exploring new things from attachment figures' presence

proximity seeking

desire to be near the attachment figure

adult attachment study

do adults experience romantic relationships with the same attachment styles seen in infants -local newspaper readers -decide what paragraph fits them best -measure: qustions about belief, attitudes, experiences in relationships

safe haven in adult relationships study

do adults rely on relationships with others as safe havens? -young adults -watch computer screen, see prime word which could be stressful or neutral word -see string of letters, indicate asap whether it is a word. could be non-word, or affiliate word measured: speed in identifying affiliative words -results: secure adults identified proximity- related words faster after stress prime than after neutral prime, suggesting affiliation-related concepts were activated by threats

adult attachment and separation

does adult attachment style predict feelings, behavior in couples before separation? -couples waiting at the airport; only one departs -observe and recored behavior of all couples; if only one partner departs, ask other to complete questionnaire measured: experiences in close relationships, observed contact and caregiving avoidance beahvior; self report distress about the separation

Harlow monkey study

dow baby monkeys need more than food, shelter to thrive? -babies placed in cages with wire and cloth mother, wire had the food bottle -results: monkeys spent most time with fuzzy, cloth mother even if wire mother held food

gratitude

emotion experienced when someone does something unexpectedly kind for us, and does not expect anything in return

pride

emotion felt when you accept credit for causing a positive outcome that supports a positive aspect of your self concept -resembles primate dominate display; presumed cross-culturally to indicate high status -in achievement increases effort, leadership in subsequent task

intrapersonal functions of emotion

emotions help us identify valuable relationship partners, stay close to those who will look out for our needs, commit to caring for those who depend on us, and navigate status hierarchies and other complex group dynamics

stranger anxiety

fear of unfamiliar people

disorganized attachment

if infant displays open, intense anxiety even when caregiver is present -freezing in place, nervously pulling hair, or rocking back and forth -paralyzed by situation, frightened but unable to turn to caregiver for comfort -high chance caregiver emotionality, volatile, suffering from depression or trauma, or even abusive

stonewalling

ignoring, shutting out one's spouse rather than listening

anxious ambivalent caregiving style

intrusive, ignoring need for independence -smothering, infant becomes frightened to by separation, while still needing to push away to gain space

strange situation study

lab task to elicit attachment behavior 1. infant and parent enter unfamiliar room filled with toys 2. stranger enter the room and interacts with parent and baby 3. parent leaves room; stranger stays 4. both parent and stranger leaves 5. stranger returns and tries to sooth the baby 6. parent returns and sooth the baby

attachment

lasting emotional bond between the individual and a few regular caregivers -first developed in 1950s

secure attachment

most common/65% babies show this attachment behavior -develop into young children who show high cognitive maturation -teens are more socially mature -adults maintain good relationships

mirror neurons

motor neurons that show similar patterns of activity when we observe others movements and when we make those movements ourselves

breastfeeding

nipple stimulation via the infants' suckling send message to the paraventricular nucleus of the hypothalamus (PVN) -reflex becomes conditioned in various behavioral cues

secure caregiving style

responsive to babys' signals, allows independent exploration but responds quickly to danger, distress

contempt

sarcasm, rolling one's eyes, and insulting the spouse -message that spouse is incompetent or beneath speaker

avoidant attachment

seen in about 15% of babies -seem to show little interest in coming and going of their caregivers -show physiological distress but not physical -upset but handle stress different ways -increased risk of aggressive, antisocial behavior later in life

anxious-ambivalent attachment

seen in about 20% of babies -show similar pattern to secure but cling to parent more while he or she is present -less likely to be soothed when parent returns -show more reluctance to explore and play on their own -when parent leaves baby becomes upset -more likely to suffer from psychopathology as adults; found to report more physical illness symptoms

personal distress

self focused anxiety in the face of anther's suffering -heart rate accelerates

imprinting

soon after they hatch chicks of many bird species _______ on moving objects they see and follow everywhere -humans and other mammals also form close bonds to parents and other care givers

effortful control

the ability to regulate one's attention and behavior

embarrassment

the emotion felt when one violates a social convention, attracting unexpected and unwanted social attention -display conveys affiliative intent (smile) and appeasement (gaze and aversion and face touch) -display elicits more liking, less anger after transgression

safe haven

turning to the attachment figure when threatened or hurt

object permanence

understanding that objects continue to exist even when we don't see or hear them