Chapter 1 - Foundations of Interpersonal Communication

Personal success & Professional success depends on what?

Your interpersonal skills

What is interpersonal communication?

The verbal and nonverbal interaction between two (or more) interdependent people.

The difference between theory and research

Theory - a generalization that explains how something works - for example gravity, blood clotting, interpersonal attraction, or communication. They don't reveal truth in any absolute sense, rather theories reveal some degree of accuracy, some degree of truth. Research - a systematic process of discovering an answer to a question (in scientific terms a hypothesis)

Interpersonal Communication Serves a Variety of Purposes

To learn To relate To influence To play To help

Interpersonal communication is a transactional process

- A process with elements that are interdependent and the participants are mutually influential - Interpersonal communication is a process- ever-changing, circular process, everything involved in interpersonal communication is in a state of flux, you're changing, the people you comm. with are changing, the environment is changing. Sometimes these changes go unnoticed but they are always occurring. One person's message serves as the stimulus for another's message, which serves as a stimulus for the first person's message, and so on. Circular process. Each person is both speaker and listener and actor and a reactor. Mutually interactive process. -Elements are interdependent - the individuals are interdependent as well as the varied elements of communication are also interdependent. Each element, each part, of interpersonal communication is intimately connected to the other parts and to the whole. Ex. There can be no source without a receiver, there can be no message without a source, there can be no feedback without a receiver. Because of interdependency, a change in any one element causes changes in the others. Ex. When you're talking with a group of fellow students about a recent exam, and your professor joins the group. The change in participants leads to other changes - perhaps in content of what you say or the manner in which you express it. When one change is introduced other changes result. -Mutual influence - IN a transaction process, each individual influences the other to some extent. Ex. In f-t-f conversation, what you say influences what the other person says, which influences what you say, and so on. This mutual influence is the major characteristic distinguishing traditional media from social media. In tradition media - for example, newspapers, magazines, television, and film - communication goes in one direction - from the media to you, in a linear view of communication. In social media - for example, photo and video sharing, social networks such as Facebook and Insta, and wikis - the communication goes in both directions, in the transactional view of communication. With the move of traditional media to a digital platform , traditional media will come to resemble- to some extent - social media. Voting on dancing with the stars, writing a letter to the producer of a TV show, renewing you Netflix account. IPC is a process (ever- changing and circular) Elements are interdependent (if one element changes, the other must alter) Mutual influence (each individual influences the others, to some extent)

What are examples of verbal and non verbal messages? What is special about nonverbal messages?

- Verbal- spoke, written -Non verbal- facial expressions, eye contact, body language, paralanguage -Nonverbal messages are continuous, ongoing, they never stop communicating, nonverbal accounts for more than 90 percent of the meaning of any message

Messages

- are signals that serve as stimuli for a receiver and are received by one of our senses -auditory = hearing, visual = seeing, tactile = touching, olfactory = smelling, gustatory =tasting -Feedback Messages (a nod, smile, yea, pat on the back, etc.), tells the speaker what effect she or he is having on listeners - Feedforward Messages (table of contents in a book, the opening paragraph to a chapter, movie previews, magazine covers, introductions in public speeches, email subject header, "you better sit down for this you are going to be shocked"), information you provide before sending your primary message -messages may be intentional or unintentional. They may result from the most carefully planned strategy as well as from the unintentional slip of the tongue, lingering body Oder, or nervous twitch.

To Influence

- interpersonal persuasion On social media sites - direct influence attempts (ads or friends urging you to sign up for a cause or join a group) - indirect influence attempts (reading that your friends have seen a particular movie and enjoyed it, or a newsfeed announcing that one of you friends has joined a cause or bought a ticket to a concert, or is signing up for a particular group of cause)

To Relate

- when you poke someone on Facebook you are indicating your desire to relate to that person, to communicate with him or her. You want to feel loved and liked, and in turn you want to love and. Like others. Such relationships help to alleviate loneliness and depression.

Channel

-the communication channel is the medium through which messages pass. It's a kind of bridge connecting source and receiver. -communication usually takes place over several channels simultaneously. For example. The face-to-face interaction, you speak and listen (vocal-auditory channel), but you also gesture and receive signals visually (gestural- visual channel), and you emit odors and smell those of others (chemical-olfactory channel), often you communicate through touch (cutaneous-tactile channel). -the channel imposes different restrictions on you message construction. For example in e-mail you can pause to think of the right word or phrase, you can go on for as short or as long a time and you want without any threat of interruption or contradiction, and you can edit your message with ease. In f-t-f communication your pauses need to be relatively short, you dont have the time to select just the right word or to edit.

Interpersonal communication refers to content and relationship

-Content messages refer to the real world around you (objects and events) - relationship messages refer to the relationship between the people communicating. - Judge says to a lawyer "See me in my chambers immediately" (this simple message has both a content aspects, which refers to the response expected that the judge will see the lawyer immediately. And a relationship aspect which says something about he relationship between the judge and the lawyer and as a rust of this relationship about how the communication is to be dealt with.) The simple command shows a status difference between the two parties. -IN any two communications, the content dimension may be the same but the relationship aspect may be different or the relationship may be the same and the content dimension is different. EX. Judge says to lawyer "May I pease see you as soon as possible?" The content is essentially the same as before but the relationship dimension is quite different. The first message signifies a definite superior-inferior relationship, the second signals a more equal relationship, one that shows respect for the lawyer. -Ex. For the content being different and the relationship the same- daughter says to her parents either "My I go away this weekend?" Or "May I use the car tonight?" Very different content but with the same superior-inferior relationship in which permission to do certain things must be secured. -men generally focus more on content while women focus more on the relationship dimensions

Encoding - Decoding

-Encoding refers to the act of producing messages, for ex. Speaking or writing -decoding is the reverse and refers to the act of understanding messages, for ex. Listening or reading -For Interpersonal Communication to occur, messages must be encoded AND decoded. For example if a parent talks to a child whose eyes are closed and whose ears are covered by headphones, interpersonal communication does not occur because the messages sent are not being received

What is the nature of interpersonal Communication?

-Interpersonal communication involves INTERDEPENDENT individuals -Interdependent- the actions of one person have consequences for the other person -Interpersonal communication is INHERENTLY RELATIONAL- the way you communicate is determined in great part by the kind of relationship that exists between you and the other person. -EXISTS ON A CONTINUUM -involves VERBAL and NONVERBAL messages -interpersonal communication takes place in VARIED FORMS

What does it mean for interpersonal communication to exist on a continuum?

-Ranges from relatively impersonal to highly personal -Impersonal end of the spectrum you have a simple conversation between people who really dont know each other -server & customer - highly personal end is the communication that take place between people who are intimately interconnected- a father and son. - SOCIAL ROLE vs. PERSONAL INFORMATION -SOCIETAL vs. PERSONAL RULES -SOCIAL vs. PERSONAL MESSAGES

Interpersonal Relationships may be symmetrical or complementary

-SYMMETRICAL RELATIONSHIP - the two individuals mirror each other's behavior if one member names, the other responds in kind. If one member is passionate the other is passionate. A relationship of equality with emphasis on minimizing the differences between the two people. Can be bad if the individuals are aggressive then they just keep egging each other on and adding fuel to the fire. -COMPLEMENTARY RELATIONSHIP - the two individuals engage in different behaviors, the behavior on one serves as the stimulus for the other's complementary behavior. The differences between the parties are maximized. The people occupy different positions, one superior and the other inferior, one passive and the other active, one strong and the other weak, at times cultures est such relationships for ex. The complementary relationship between teacher and student or between employer and employee.

To Play

-Talking about your weekend, sports, activities, telling stories and jokes, posting clever photos, just passing the time. -gives your mind a needed break from all the seriousness around you

What does it mean for Interpersonal communication to be inherently relational?

-The communication that takes place in a relationship is in a part a function of that relationship. -That is, the way you communicate is determined in great part by the kind of relationship that exists between you and the other person -How you interact with you mom is different from how you interact with your best friend, in person vs. online -If you interact in friendly ways, you develop a friendship. If you interact coldly, you develop a antagonistic relationship

Interpersonal communication is Ambiguous

-an ambiguous message is a message that can be interpreted as having more than one meaning (soon, right away, in a minute, early, late) - there is always some ambiguity- you communicate your meaning with some reasonable accuracy - sometimes you're less accurate than you anticipated -don't jump to conclusions if someone doesn't dm you back right away it may just be because they are away from their tech not because they are uninterested -strategic ambiguity is used when you want to be ambiguous (ex. The interviewer who compliments you on your interview without actually offering you the job may be acting strategically ambiguous to keep you interested int he position while the company interviews more and perhaps better candidates). Used for an effective outcome. Saying "That was some performance" instead of "it stunk".

Social Role vs. personal Information

-aspect of the interpersonal continuum -in the impersonal end of the spectrum with the example of server & customer- the individuals are responding to each other according to the ROLES they are currently playing. The server treats the customer not as a unique individual but as one of many customers, and vice versa, the customer acts towards the server not as a unique individual but as he or she would act with any server. -The father and son treat each other as unique individuals as they are acting on the basis of personal information -ppt. Individuals respond to one another according to the roles they are currently playing or on the basis of personal information they know about one another -class ex. Social Role - referring to colleagues as Dr., Professor, (by workplace title). Personal Information- referring to friends as Tom, Jen, Ken despite their education level

Societal vs. Personal Rules

-back to the server & customer example- notice that the server and the customer interact according to the RULES OF SOCIETY governing the server-customer interaction. -the father and son interact on the base of personally established RULES. The way they address each other, their touching, their degree of closeness are all unique to them and are ESTABLISHED BY THEM not by society. -ppt. Individuals respond to one another according to the rules of society or personally established rules -class ex. Societal- handshake Personal Rules- hug

Context

-communication always takes place in a context or environment that influences the form and content of your messages. -Compare, for example, the differences among communicating in a funeral home, football stadium, formal restaurant, and a rock concert. -at times the context dominates and restricts or stimulates the ways the messages you communicate is obvious and in-obvious ways -The context of communication has at least four dimensions, all of which interact with and influence each other 1. PHYSICAL DIMENSION - the tangible or concrete environment in which communication takes place - the room, hallway, park, boardroom,.family dinner table. The size of the space, its temperature, the number of people present. In media this context includes the positioning of stories and news articles, twitters restriction of 140 characters or fewer is an example of the physical dimension influencing the message. 2. TEMPORAL DIMENSION - has to do not only with he time of day and moment in history but also with where a particular message fits into the sequence of communication event. For example, a joke about illness told immediately after the disclosure of a friend's sickness will be received differently than the same joke told in response to a series of similar jokes. Synchronous, Asynchronous. 3. SOCIAL-PSYCHOLOGICAL DIMENSION - includes for example status relationships among the participants, roles and games that people play, norms of the society or group, and the friendliness, formality, or gravity of the situation. Facebook and Google+ are informal and largely for fun communication. LinkedIn and Plano are primarily for serious, business-oriented communication 4. CULTURAL DIMENSION - includes the cultural beliefs and customs of the people communicating. When you interact with people from different cultures, you man each follow different rules of communication. This can result in confusion, unintentional insult, inaccurate judgments, and a host of other miscommunications. You loose more information in a intercultural situation than in an intracultural situation.

Interpersonal communication is a series of punctuated events

-communication events are continuous transactions. There is no clear-cut beginning and no clear-cut end. -ex. A married couple in a restaurant. The husband is flirting with another women, the wife is texting her sister. Both are scowling at the other and are in a deep nonverbal argument. From the wife's perspective he started flirting and in response she took her phone out. From the husband's perspective she took her phone out to text and in response he began flirting. -punctuation - the tendency to divide communication transactions into sequences of stimuli and responses. Punctuation usually is done in ways that benefit the self and are consistent with a person's self-image. Understanding how another person interprets a situation is a crustal step in IPC and is also essential in achieve in empathy

To Help

-console a friend who has broken off a love affair -Counsel another student about courses to take - offer advise to a colleague about works

What are some facts of Interpersonal Communication

-effective communication is a learned skill -It's not the amount of communication people engage in but the quality that matters -Each interpersonal situation is uniques and therefore the type of communication appropriate in one situation may not be appropriate in another -People from different cultures often attribute different meanings to a message -all meaningful relationships experience conflict

To Learn

-interpersonal comm. enables you to learn, to better understand the external world of objects, events, and other people. You learn about other people and the places they live through instagram photos and captions for example. But you also learn about yourself by talking about yourself with others you gain valuable feedback and your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. YOu learn how you appear to others who likes you, dislikes you and why.

Source-Receiver (individuals perform both functions)

-interpersonal competence: you ability to communicate effectively For Example: knowing the rules of nonverbal behavior, what is appropriate touching or volume Overall knowing how to adjust your communication according to the context of the interaction -both individuals in the conversation alternate between role of listener/ speaker, both are encoding and decoding messages, some people are primarily listeners and others are primarily speakers. Analysis of Twitter messages two major types of users identified Informers - those who shared information and also replied to others; 20% of users Meformers - those who mainly gave out information about themselves; 80%

What does it mean that interpersonal communication involves interdependent individuals?

-it takes place between people who are in some way "connected" -largely dyadic (two person) in nature -what one person does has an impact on the other person -EX. Facebook may have changed the definition of friendship, and the def. of interpersonal communication. Sending a message to your 15 closest friends, online chats, and Skype conferences are all considered interpersonal comm. by some theorists and not by others. Blurring the lines between what is interpersonal and what is public. When you send a message to a friend on any social media site, the message has the potential to become a public message to people you have no connection to even if you intended it to be solely personal.

What are Choice points?

-moments when you have to make a choice about whom you communicate with, what you say, what you don't say, how you phrase what you want to say, and so on. -class ex. Deciding weather to jump in on a conversation or not, and how it could changed the relationship if you do and how you do it

Noise

-noise is anything that distorts a message- anything that prevents the receiver from receiving the message Four Types of noise are especially relevant 1. Physical noise: external to both the speaker and listener. Screeching of passing cars, the hum of a computer, sunglasses, extraneous messages, illegible handwriting, blurred type or fonts that are too small, misspellings and poor grammar, pop-up ads, spam, too many photos while browsing. 2. Physiological Noise- is created by barriers within the sender or receiver, such as visual impairments, hearing loss, articulation problems, and memory loss. 3. Psychological Noise- mental interference in the speaker or listened and included preconceived ideas, wandering thoughts, biases and prejudices, closed mindedness, extreme emotionalism. 4. Semantic Noise- interference that occurs when the speaker and listener have different meaning systems: examples include language or dialectical differences, the use of jargon or overly complex terms, and ambiguous or overly abstract terms whose meanings can be easily misinterpreted. -a useful concept in understanding noise and its importance is "signal-to-noise-ratio". Signal=useful information, Noise= information that is useless to you. Ex. When you do a search the ads that pop up on the sides are noise and the information you are looking for is the signal. -Noise cannot be totally eliminated, but its effects can be reduced.

What is the nature of computer-mediated communication?

-personal characteristics hidden or revealed with individual wants to reveal them -interaction unlimited -physical can e in close or far proximity -synchronous (real-time= chat room, in the moments no delay and instant response) or asynchronous (at different times = email, delayed response)

What are the essential elements of interpersonal communication?

1. Source- receiver 2. Encoding-decoding 3. Messages 4. Channels 5. Noise 6. Context 7. Ethics

Code Switching

-the practice of alternating between two or more languages or varieties of language in conversation -the use of different language styles depending on the situation -ex. You probably talk differently to a child than to an adult- in both the topics you talk about and in the language you use -ex. When you text or tweet you use a specialized language consisting of lots of abbreviations and acronyms that you discards when you write a college term paper or interview for a job -the ability to code switch serves to identify you as one of the ground and its a way of bonding with the ground, it often helps. In terms of making your meaning clearer some things are better expressed in one language/code than in another -can create problems when you try to use it to integrate yourself or make yourself seem like part of the group when you are not- in this case code switching works against you and you then appear as an interloper and one who tries but doesn't actually belong. -class ppt. Can Create Problems: 1. Integrate yourself in a group or make yourself seem one of the group when are not 2. Using one form of communication that is appropriate in one setting in another setting where it is not appropriate.

Ethics

-the study of good/bad, right/wrong -concerned with actions, with behaviors, its concerned with distinguishing between behaviors that are moral and those that are immoral - people often do unethical things that they feel are morally justified. Ex. Stalking- "I'm so in love that I need to be with this person". Just because someone feels justified in their own minds doesn't make their behavior moral or ethical -Different religions advocate very different kinds of behavior, often behaviors that contradict on another. -Discrimination against certain people is perfectly legal in many parts of the world, and in many countries, war is legal, doesn't make it ethical or moral just because someone deems it to be legal. -Thinking of the majority changes with the times and has often proved to be extremely immoral. The burning of people supposed to be witches or of those who stole out against majority opinion are good examples -The burning of witches was in the interest of the majority, as was slavery and discrimination against gay man and lesbians, certain religions, or different races. But despite this majority interest, we'd readily recognize these actions as immoral -OBJECTIVE VIEW- the ethical nature of an act -any act- depends on the standards that apply to all people in all situations as all time. If lying is considered unethical then it will be considered unethical regardless of the circumstances surrounding them or the values and beliefs of the culture in which they occur. -SUBJECTIVE VIEW - claim that the morality of the act depends on a specific culture's values and beliefs as well as on the particular circumstances. The end might justify the means. Lying is ethical in the end result is positive (telling someone who is unattractive they are attractive to make them feel better, telling a critically ill person that they'll feel better soon)

Social vs. Personal Messages

-this pertains to the messages exchanged -with the server & customer they are impersonal and there is little personal information exchanged and there is little emotional content in the messages they exchanged -in the father-son example the messages may run the entire range and may at times be highly persona with lost of personal information and lots of emotion -ppt. Individuals exchange messages that very in the amount of emotion and content based on relationships -class ex. Social - if you are getting a divorce you are composed and professional around your boss not indicating your feelings Personal Messages- If you are getting a divorce and you with your best friend you are crying and hugging them for comfort

What kind of varied forms does Interpersonal Communication take place in?

1. Face to face 2. Online or social media communication -Both are vital to developing, maintaining, and dissolving relationships and achieve in goals -contemporary interpersonal communication can only be understood as a combination of online and offline interaction -Both are important to you achieve in your goals. Ex. You employability will depend, in great part, on how effectively you communicate in your e-mails, in you phone conferences, in your Skype interviews, and in your in-persona interviews.

Chapter Objectives

1. Identify the potential personal and professional benefits from studying interpersonal communication 2. Define interpersonal communication and explain the nature of interpersonal communication 3. Define the essential elements of interpersonal communication including source-receiver, encoding-decoding, messages, channels, context, and ethics 4. Paraphrase the principles of interpersonal communication

7 principles of Interpersonal Communication

1. Interpersonal communication is a transactional process 2. Interpersonal communication serves a variety of purposes 3. Interpersonal communication is ambiguous because people use words that can be interpreted differently 4. Interpersonal relationships may be symmetrical or complementary 5. Interpersonal communication refers to content (refer to the real world or intent of message) and relationship (refer to the relationship between the people communicating or dynamics) 6. Interpersonal communication is a series of punctuated events 7. Interpersonal communication is inevitable, irreversible, and unrepeatable

In a Nutshell interpersonal communication...

1. Involves interdependent individuals, the individuals are connected in some way 2. Is inherently relational 3. Exists on a continuum 4. Involves verbal and nonverbal messages 5. Takes place in varied forms 6. Involves choice making

The elements of interpersonal communication in a nutshell

1. Source- Receiver - the sender-receiver, the person who both sends and receives messages during communication 2. Messages - the verbal and nonverbal signals that are sent by the source/encoder and received by the receiver/decoder 3. Channels- the media through which the signals are sent 4. Noise - disturbances that interfere with the receiver receiving the message sent by the source 5. Context - The physical, sociopsychological, temporal, and cultural environment in which the communication takes place 6. Ethics - the morality, the rightness- wrongness aspect of communication behavior

Interpersonal communication is inevitable, irreversible, and unrepeatable

INEVITABLE - it cannot be prevented. Ex. If a new assistant is sitting at her desk with an expressionless face staring out the window she may not think she is communicating, however, the manager may derive any of a variety of messages from this behavior - that she is bored, worried, lazy, etc. The manager is receiving a message even if the assistant might not intend to communicate one. All behavior is potentially communication. However, if the assistant's expression goes unnoticed then no communication has taken place. IRREVERSIBLE - cannot be reversed. What you have communicated remains communicated. F-t-f fades so all you have are the memories, computer-mediated communication can be referenced or printed. Both forms have the ability to be made public however its harder for f-t-f communication to go public than computer-mediated. Electronic messages are virtually impossible to destroy, they can easily be made public, and they are not privileged communication. UNREPEATABLE - cannot be repeated. Everyone and everything is changing you can never recapture the exact same situation, frame of mind, or relationship dynamics that defined a previous interpersonal act. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Personal success with interpersonal communication can effect what relationships?

Interpersonal skills have a role in close friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, and neighbors, acquaintances, and daily encounters Your happiness depends largely on your effectiveness as an interpersonal communicator.

Professional Success with interpersonal communication can effect what relationships and how?

Interpersonal skills have a role in preventing workplace violence, Improving doctor/patient relationships, and preventing medical mishaps

Mindfulness and Mindlessness

Mindfulness- a state of mental awareness, you are conscious of your reason for thinking or communicating in a particular way Mindlessness - a lack of conscious awareness of your thinking or communicating. To communicated with mindfulness -create and re-create categories- see your perspective romantic partner in a variety of roles- child, parent, employee, neighbor, friend, financial contributor, and so on. Avoid storing in memory and image of a person with one one specific label -Be open to new information and points of view - even when these contradict your most firmly heal stereotypes. New info. Foxes you to reconsider what might be outmoded ways of thinking -Beware of relying too heavily on first impressions-treat your fist impressions as tentative - as hypotheses that need further investigation -Be aware of possible misinterpretation in the message- paraphrase or restate the message in different ways or you can ask the person to paraphrase -Become conscious of unproductive communication patterns- in a conflict situation, one common patter is that each person brings up past relationship injustices. If you notice this happening stop and ask yourself if this pattern is productive, if not consider what you can do to change it. -remind yourself of the uniqueness of this communication situation- Consider how you can best adapt your messages to this unique situation. For example yo may want to be especially positive to a friend who is depressed but not so positive to someone who betrayed a confidence -Identify and evaluate your communication choices- especially in delicate situation (when your angry) it's wise to pause and think over the situation mindfully and identify and evaluate your choices.