Chapter 3

InTRApersonal skills - The first category Intrapersonal - relates to how well you know and like yourself, as well as how effectively you can do the things you need to do to stay happy.

* Emotional self-awareness. Knowing how and why you feel the way you do. *Assertiveness. Standing up for yourself when you need to without being too aggressive. * Independence. Making important decisions on your own without having to get everyone's opinion. * Self-regard. Liking, yourself in sprite of your flaws *Self-actualization. Being satisfied and comfortable with what you have achieved in school, work, and your personal life.

General Mood and Effective Performance - Positive attitude really does improve your chances of doing well. Bar-On emphasizes the importance of two emotions in particular.

* Optimism - Looking for the "Bright side" of any prjoblem or difficulty and being confident that things will work out for the best. * Happiness - Being satisfied with yourself, with others, and with your situation in general. IT MAKES SENCE: IF YOU FEEL good about yourself and manage your emotions, you can expect to get along with others and enjoy a happy, successful life.

2. InTERpersonal Skills - People with extensive support networks are generally happier ad tend to enjoy longer, healthier lives. Forging relationships and getting along with other people depend on the competencies that form the basis for the interpersonal category.

*Empathy - Making an effort to understand another person's situation or point of view. *Social responsibility - Establishing a personal link with a group or community and cooperation with other members in working toward shared goals. *Interpersonal relationships - Seeking out healthy and mutually beneficial relationships--such as friendships, professional networks, family connections, mentoring and romantic partnerships--and making a persistent effort to maintain them.

What is Emotional Intelligence? EI is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions

. Emotions are a big part of who you are; you should not ignore them. The better the emotional read you have on a situation, the more appropriately you can respond to it. being aware of your won and others' feelings helps you to gather accurate information about the world around you AND allows you to respond in appropriate ways.

4. Stress Management - In college, at work, and at home, now and in the future, you'll be faced with what can seem like never-ending pressures and demands. Managing the inevitable resulting stress depends on two skills:

1. Stress tolerance - Recognizing the causes of stress and responding in appropriate ways, staying strong under pressure. 2. Impulse control - Thinking carefully about potential consequences before you act and delaying gratification for the sake of achieving long-term goals.

1. Emotional Intelligence (EI) consists of two general abilities:

1. Understanding emotions involves the capacity to monitor and label feelings accurately (Nervous, happy, angry, relieved, and so forth) and to determine why you feel the way you do. It also involves prediction how others might feel in a given situation. Emotions contain information, and the abilit to understand and think about that informaton plays an importnat role in behavior. )

2. Emotional Intelligence (EI) consists of two general abilities:

2. Managing emotions builds on the belief that feelings can be modified, even improved. At times, you need to stay open to your feelings, learn from them, and use them to take appropriate action. Other times, it is better to DISENGAGE from an emotion and return to it later. Anger for example, can blind you and lead ou to act in negative or antisocial ways; used positively, however, the same emotion can help you overcome adversity, bias, and injustice.

Assessing Your Emotional Intelligence

A number of sophisticated tools can be used to assess emotional intelligence.

Identifying Competencies

EI includes many capabilities and skills that influence a person's ability to cope with life's pressures and demands.

Professionally administered questionnaire, such a the EQ-i, Emotional Quotient Inventory

Emotional Quotient Inventory, which provides a detailed assessment of your emotional skills and a graphic representation of where you stand in comparison wit other students.

A. "STUDIES link strong EI skills to college success in particular

Emotionally intelligent students get higher grades. Researchers looked at student grade point averages at the end of the first year of college. Student who tested high for interpersonal skills, stress tolerance, and adaptability when they entered in the fall did better academically than those who had lower overall high test scores.

Confusion

If you are confused remember that confusion is the first step to knowledge.

Identifying and using emotions can help you know which moods are best for different situations AND LEARN HOW TO POUT YOURSELF IN THE "RIGHT MOOD. " Developing an awareness of an emotions allow you to use your feelings to enhance your thinking. If you are feeling sad, for instance, you might view the world i a certain way, while if you feel happy, you are likely to interpret the same events differently.

Once you start paying attention to emotions. you can learn not only how to COPE with life's pressures and demands, but also how to HARNESS YOUR KNOWLEDGE of the way you feel for more effective problem solving, reasoning, decision making and creative endeavors.

B. Studies link strong my skills to college success in particular.

Students who can't manage their emotions struggle academically.

How emotions affect success. Emotions are strongly tied to physical and psychological well-being cancer patients who have strong you live longer people who are aware of the needs of others tend to be happier than people who are not.

Study done at University of Pennsylvania found that the best athletes do well in part because they are extremely optimistic in light of tremendous of school and with the odds stacked against them, emotionally intelligent people nonetheless go on to succeed.

Vital for success

The ability to understand and get along with people is vital for success in school, work and life.

Bar-On Model of EI lists four specific skills and competencies that Reuven Bar-On, a professor at the U of Texas, Austin, AND world renowned EI expert developed a model that demonstrates how these categories of emotional intelligence directly affect general mood and lead to effective performance.

These are the pieces taht make up a persons emotional intelligence. 1. Intrapersonal 2. Interpersonal 3. Stress Management 4. Adaptability = General Mood Lead to "General Performance" Bar-On Model of Emotional Intelligence

3. ADAPTABILITY - Things Change. The ability to adjust your thinking and behavior when faced with new or unexpected situations, helps ou cope and ensures that you'll do well in life, no matter what the challenges.

This category included three keys competencies: * Reality testing - Ensuring that your feelings are appropriate by checking them against external, objective criteria. * Flexibility - Adapting and adjusting your emotions, viewpoints, and actions as situations change. *Problem solving - Approaching challenges step by step and not giving up in the face of obstacles.

InTRApersonal skills - The first category (continued) Intrapersonal - relates to how well you know and like yourself, as well as how effectively you can do the things you need to do to stay happy.

Understanding yourself and why you think and act as you do is the glue that holds all of the EI competencies together. Knowledge of self is strongly connected to respect for others and their way of life. If you don't understand yourself and why you do the things you do, it can be difficult for you to understand others. What's more, if you don't like yourself, you can hardly expect others to like you.

What are the Behaviours of a successful college student...

You can't always control the challanges and frustrations of life

Develop an understanding of emotional intelligence, and you will learn how to use it to become a more successful student and a person.

You will begin to look at yourself and others through an EI lens. Observe the behaviors that help people do well, get to know yourself better, and take the time to examine why you are feeling the way that you do before you act.

The difference lies not in..

academic talent but in emotional intelligence (EI), or the ability to recognize and manage moods, feelings and attitudes.

Experts vary in their definitions of EI,...

all agree that wmotions are real, can be changed for the better, and have a profound impact on whether or not a person is successful.

The ability to understand

and get along is vital for success in school, work, and life. Another element of success is the ability to manage time well and get things done.

A growing body of evidence...

shows a clear connection between students' EI and whether or not they stay in college.