COMM CH. 8 Key Terms

Conflict situation

A setting in which conflict occurs, which seems familiar to the participants and which helps to provide clues for managing the conflict that is occurring.

Apology

A statement that includes an admission of guilt, an expression of remorse, and a promise not to engage in damaging behavior again.

Social exchange theory

A theory developed by psychologists John Thibaut and Harold h. Kelley, in which perceived rewards and costs determine whether people develop, maintain, or terminate their relationships.

Phase theory

A theory which assumes that conflict unfolds in fairly predictable ways over a period time and progresses through recognizable stages of interaction.

Styles theory

A theory which suggests that people have preferred means of dealing with conflict situations and generally use those preferred means whenever possible.

Confrontation steps

Actions taken to move through a conflict: preparation, arranging a time to talk, confrontation, considering the other's point of view, resolving, the problem, and setting a time to follow up.

Prelude to conflict

All the factors and events that lead up to a conflict.

Reconciliation

An interpersonal communication process in which we talk about a conflict and take actions to restore a relationship or create a new one.

Unforgiveness

An intrapersonal communication process that consists of self-talk that focuses on feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate.

Forgiveness

An intrapersonal communication process that consists of self-talk that focuses on letting go of feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate.

Self-oriented approach

An orientation in conflict that leads us to choose strategies based on how well they will serve our needs and desires.

Other-centered approach

An orientation in conflict that leads us to choose strategies based on how well they will serve the needs and desires of the other person.

Relationship-oriented approach

An orientation in conflict that leads us to choose strategies based on how well they will serve the relationship with the other person.

Revenge

Behavior we take with the goal of getting even with the other person by harming that person in the same way we believe we have been harmed.

Compromising

Conflict strategy that focuses on finding a middle ground between what you want and what the other person wants in the situation.

Triggering event

A behavior that at least one person in a conflict points to as the "beginning" of the problem.

S-TLC

A conflict resolution process that has four steps: Stop, Think, Listen, and Communicate.

Avoiding

A conflict strategy that circumvents the conflict by physical means, as in not making contact with the other person in the conflict, or communicative means, as in refusing to talk about the conflict or changing the subject.

Obliging

A conflict strategy that involves giving in to the other person's requests without asking for much in return.

Dominating

A conflict strategy that people use when they believe that getting their way with respect to the conflict issue is more important that the relationship they have with the other person.

Integrating

A conflict strategy that puts equal importance on the issue to be resolved and the relationship with the other person in the conflict, resulting in an outcome that satisfies both parties.

Relational transgression

A conflict where those involved have broken important rules of the relationship.

(re-)creating

A forgiveness strategy that consists of self-talk that helps us reframe the transgression at the same time that we do things that communicate reconciliation to the other.

Closing

A forgiveness strategy that consists of telling yourself that you don't want to forgive the other person and refusing to engage in reconciliation behaviors that will restore the relationship.

Cloaking

A forgiveness strategy that consists of telling yourself that you don't want to forgive the other person but engaging in minimal interaction with the other.

Coping

A forgiveness strategy that involves respecting each other by restraining from a focus on the transgression and communicating responsibly, using neutral language.

Civility

A forgiveness strategy that involves respecting the other by restraining from a focus on the transgression and communicating responsibly, using neutral language.

Interpersonal violence

A partner's imposing his or her will on another through verbal or physical intimidation.

Sense of urgency

A point in a conflict situation at which at least one person in the conflict feels it must be addressed because things cannot continue as they are.

Interpersonal conflict

A problematic situation with the following four unique characteristics: the conflicting parties are interdependent; the conflicting parties perceived that they seek incompatible goals or outcomes or that they favor incompatible means to the same ends; the perceived incompatibility has the potential to adversely affect the relationship if not addressed; and there is a sense of urgency about the need to resolve the difference.

Appreciation

A relationship maintenance tactic which communicates that we feel grateful and that we are thankful for out relational partner and the relationship itself.

Gifts

A relationship reward in e form of spontaneous or planned offerings of material items.

Information

A relationship reward in the form of advice, opinions, instructions, or enlightenment given through self-disclosure.

Money

A relationship reward in the form of the financial contributions each person makes to a relationship.

Shared time

A relationship reward in the form of time spent exclusively with loved ones where you are not distracted by work or people external to the relationship.

Helping

A relationship reward that involves receiving assistance from a partner on a difficult task.

Status

A relationship reward that involves verbal and nonverbal expressions of high or low prestige or esteem.

Love

A relationship reward with nonverbal expressions of intimacy, passion, and commitment in romantic relationships and nonverbal expressions of positive regard, warmth, and comfort in friendships.

Interdependence

A relationship that is characterized by all involved in it as one that is important and worth the effort to maintain.

Costs

Features of a relationship that are considered negative.

Rewards

Features of a relationship that are considered positive.

Incompatible goals

Goals that seek different outcomes; for example, we want to buy two different cars but can afford only one.

I-Statements

Language we can use to personalize a conflict by owning up to our feelings rather than making them the responsibility of the other person.

Emotional residues

Lingering emotional responses to the memory of a conflict.

Incompatible means

Means that try to achieve the same goal but differ in how to do so; for example, we agree on the same car but on not whether to finance it or pay cash.

Problematic situations

Situations that occur when partners perceive that they seek different outcomes or favor different means to the same ends.

Conflict management

The behavior a person employs based on his or her analysis of a conflict situation.

Differentiation phase

The phase of conflict in which the participants work out the problem using constructive or destructive strategies and tactics, presenting both sides of the story, moving back and forth, and escalating and deescelating.

Initiation phase

The stage of conflict in which at least one person makes known to the other the presence of a felt conflict.

Resolution phase

The stage when those involved in a conflict agree to some outcome.