Communications Final Exam

Family Challenges

1. Stepfamily transition 2. Parental favoritism 3. Interparental conflict

Communication privacy management theory

Individuals create informational boundaries by carefully choosing the kind of private information they reveal and the people with whom they share it. These boundaries are constantly shifting, depending upon the degree of risk associated with disclosing information.

Liking vs. Loving

1. Liking: A feeling of affection and respect typical of a friendship. 2. Loving: An intense emotional commitment based on 3 components- intimacy, caring, and attachment.

Defining Friendships

A voluntary interpersonal relationship characterized by intimacy and liking. Whether it's casual or close, short or long term, friendship has several distinguishing characteristics.

Types of friendship

1. Best friends 2. Cross-category friends

Friendship functions: communal vs. agentic

1. Communal friendships: - Friendships that focus primarily on sharing time and activities together. Communal friends try to get together as often as possible, and they provide encouragement and emotional support to one another during times of need. 2. Agentic friendships - Friendships in which the parties focus primarily on helping each other achieve practical goals. Value sharing time together---but only if they are available and have no other priorities at the moment.

Four family types: consensual families, pluralistic families, protective families, and lasseiz fair families

1. Consensual families: - Families in both high conversation and conformity. In such families, members are encourage to openly share their views with one another as well as debate those beliefs. Attentive listening, frequent expressions of caring, concern, and support. Parents in such households exert strong control over the attitudes, beliefs, and interactions of their children. 2. Pluralistic families: - Families high in conversation, but low in conformity. They communicate in open and unconstrained ways, discussing a broad range of topics and exploring them in depth. Enjoy debating issues of the day, and judge one another's arguments on their merit. People in pluralistic families don't try to control other family members' beliefs or attitudes. 3. Protective families: - Low in conversation and high on conformity. Communication in these families functions to maintain obedience and enforce family norms, and little value is placed on the exchange of ideas or the development of communication skills. Parent-child power differences are firmly enforced, and children are expected to quietly obey. 4. Low in both conversation and conformity. Few emotional bonds exist between their members, resulting in low levels of caring, concern, and support expressed within the family. Their detachment shows itself in a lack of interaction and a decided disinterest in activities that might foster communication or maintenance of the family as a unit. Believe that their children should be independent thinkers and decision makers.

Cross-category friendships: cross-sex, cross-orientation, intercultural, and inter-ethnic;

1. Cross-category friendships: - Friendships that cross demographic lines. - 4 most common are Cross-sex, cross-orientation, intercultural, and inter-ethnic.

Coming apart: differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and terminating

1. Differentiating - The beliefs, attitudes, and values that distinguish you from your partner come to dominate your thoughts and communication. 2. Circumscribing - Ignoring problems. You actively begin to restrict the quantity and quality of information you exchange with your partner. You create "safe zones" in which you discuss only topics that won't provoke conflict. 3. Stagnating - Communication slows to a standstill. You both presume that communicating is pointless because it will only lead to further problems. People in stagnant relationships often experience a sense of resignation; They feel stuck or trapped. 4. Avoiding - One or both of you decide that you can no longer be around each other, and you begin distancing yourself physically. Some people communicate avoidance directly to their partner. 5. Terminating - Ending the relationship.

Factors that distinguish the two: identity support; valued social identities

1. Identity support: - Behaving in ways that convey understanding, acceptance, and support for a friend's valued social identities. 2. Valued social identities - Aspects of your public self that you deem the most important in defining who you are.

Coming together: initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, and bonding

1. Initiating - Size up a person you've just met or noticed. You draw on all visual information to determine whether you find him or her attractive. 2. Experimenting - Exchange demographic information (names, majors, where you grew up). You also engage in small talk--disclosing facts you and the other person consider relatively unimportant. As you share details, you look for points of commonality on which you base further interaction. This is the "casual dating" phase of romance. 3. Intensifying - You and your partner begin to reveal previously withheld information, such as secrets about your past or important life dreams and goals. You may begin using informal forms of address or terms of endearment. WE language. 4. Integrating - You and your partner's personalities become one. This integration is reinforced through sexual activity and the exchange of belongings. You cultivate attitudes, activities, and interests that clearly join you together as a couple. 5. Bonding - A public ritual that announces to the world that you and your partner have made a commitment to each other. Example: Marriage.

Types of family: nuclear, extended, stepfamily, cohabitating, single-parent

1. Nuclear Family - A wife, a husband, and their biological or adopted children. Was the most common family type in North America, now it is in the minority. 2. Extended family - When relatives such as Aunts, Uncles, Parents, Children and grandparents live together in a common household. 3. Stepfamily - At least one of the adults has a child or children from a previous relationship. 4. Cohabiting Couples - Consist of two unmarried, romantically involved adults living together in a household, with or without children. 5. Single-parent family - Only one adult resides in the household, possessing sole responsibility as caregiver for the children. 6. Voluntary Kin Family - A group of people who lack blood and legal kinship but who nevertheless consider themselves "family".

Types of love: Passionate vs. companionate

1. Passionate love: A state of intense emotional and physical longing for union with another. 2. Companionate love: An intense form of liking defined by emotional investment and deeply intertwined lives.

Strategies: positivity, assurances, and self-disclosure

1. Positivity: - Most powerful tactic for families and maintaining familial relationships. This means communicating with your family members in an upbeat and hopeful fashion. 2. Assurances: - Letting other family members know that you consider your relationship with each of them unique and valuable, and that you are committed to maintaining these bonds well into the future. Ex: "I love you". 3. Self-disclosure: - Sharing your private thoughts and feelings with your family members and allowing them to do the same without fear of betrayal.

Characteristics of friendship: voluntary, shared interests, reciprocal self-disclosure, liking, and volatile

1. Voluntary - You choose your friends 2. Shared interests: - Similarity is the primary force that draws us to our friends. 3. Reciprocal self-disclosure - Self-disclosure distinguishes friends from acquaintances. Being able to freely disclose is the defining feature of friendship. 4. Liking - We feel affection and respect our friends. 5. Volatile - Friendships are less stable, more likely to change, and easier to break off than family or romantic relationships.

Defining Family

A network of people who share their lives over long periods of time and are bound by marriage, blood, or commitment; who consider themselves a family; and who share a significant history and anticipated future of functioning in a family relationship.

Sternberg's theory of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment

3 components: 1. Intimacy: feeling of closeness and union between you and your partner 2. Passion: A blended emotion of joy and surprise coupled with other positive feelings, such as amazement, excitement, and sexual attraction. 3. Commitment: A strong psychological attachment to a partner and an intention to continue the relationship long into the future.

Friendship challenges

3 most common friendship challenges: 1. Betrayal 2. Geographic separation 3. Romantic attraction

6 characteristics of Family

6 characteristics of Family 1. Shared identity: Families possess a strong sense of family identity, created by how they communicate. 2. Boundaries: Families use communication to define boundaries, both inside the family and to distinguish family members. from outsiders. 3. Emotional Bonds The emotional bonds underlying family relationships are intense and complex. Family members typically hold warm and antagonistic feelings toward one another. 4. Shared history Families share a history. Such histories can stretch back for generations and feature family members from a broad array of cultures. 5.Genetic Material Family members may share genetic material. This can lead to shared physical characteristics as well as similar personalities, outlooks on life, mental abilities, and ways of relating to others. 6. Multiple roles Family members constantly juggle multiple and sometimes competing roles. Within your family, you're not just a daughter or son, but perhaps a sibling, a spouse, or an aunt or uncle as well.

Elements of Romantic Relationships:

6 elements: 1. Perception - A romantic relationship exists whenever the two partners perceive that it does. As perceptions change, so, too, does the relationship. 2. Diversity - Romantic relationships exhibit diversity in the ages and genders of the partners, as well as in their ethnic and religious backgrounds and sexual orientations. Yet despite this diversity, most relationships function in a similar manner. 3. Choice - We enter into romantic relationships through choice, selecting not only whom we initiate involvements but also whether and how we maintain these bonds. 4. Commitment - Romantic relationships often involve commitment; a strong psychological attachment to a partner and an intention to continue the relationship long into the future. 5. Tensions: - When we're involve in intimate relationships, we often experience competing impulses, or tensions, between ourselves, and our feelings toward others, known as RELATIONAL DIALECTICS. 6. Communication - Romantic involvements, like all interpersonal relationships, are forged through interpersonal communication. By interacting with others online, over the phone, and face to face, we build a variety of relationships-- some of which blossom into romantic love.

Defining Romantic Relationships

An interpersonal involvement two people choose to enter into that is perceived as romantic by both.

Physical attractiveness - beautiful-is-good effect; matching

Beautiful-is-good effect: - We view beautiful people as competent communicators, intelligent, and well adjusted. Matching effect - We tend to form long-term romantic relationships with people we judge as similar to ourselves in physical attractiveness.

Betrayal, jealousy, relational intrusion, dating violence

Betrayal: - Defined as an act that goes against expectations of a romantic relationship and, as a result, causes pain to a partner. Jealousy: - A protective reaction to a perceived threat to a valued relationship. Relational Intrusion: - The violation of one's independence and privacy by a person a who desires an intimate relationship. Dating Violence: - Knows no demographic boundaries: men and women of all ages, sexual orientations, social classes, ethnicities, and religions experience violence in romantic relationships.

Family privacy rules

Boundaries are defined by family privacy rules: - The conditions governing what family members can talk about, how they can discuss such topics, and who should have access to family-relevant information. - Balance of openness and protection. - Govern how family members talk about topics.

Betrayal

Breaking confidences, backstabbing, spreading rumors, and lying.

Close friends vs. best friends

Close friends - People whom with you exchange deeply personal information and emotional support, with whom you share many interests and activities, and around whom you feel comfortable and at ease. Best friends - Typically same sex - Involves greater intimacy, more disclosure, and deeper commitment than does close friendship. - No judgement. - More shared activities.

Conformity orientation - high vs. low

Conformity Orientation The degree to which families believe that communication should emphasize similarity or diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values. 1. High conformity Families: Use their interactions to highlight and enforce uniformity of thought. Such families are seen as more traditional because children are expected to obey parents and other elders, who are counted on to make family decisions. 2. Low Conformity Families: Communicate in ways that emphasize diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values, that encourage uniqueness, individuality, and independence.

Conversation orientation - high vs. low

Conversation orientation: The degree to which family members are encouraged to participate in unrestrained interaction about a wide array of topics. 1. High conversation orientation: They believe that open and frequent communication is essential to an enjoyable and rewarding family life. 2. Low conversation orientation: They view interpersonal communication as something irrelevant and unnecessary for a satisfying, successful family life.

Friendship rules

General principles that prescribe appropriate communication and behavior within friendship relationships. 10 friendship Rules: 1. Show support 2. Seek support 3. Respect privacy 4. Keep confidences 5. Defend your friends 6. Avoid public criticism 7. Make your friends happy 8. Manage jealousy 9. Share humor 10. Maintain equity

Positivity, assurances, sharing tasks, acceptance, self-disclosure, relationship talks, and social network

Maintenance strategies 1. Positivity: - Includes communicating in a cheerful and optimistic fashion, doing unsolicited favors, and giving unexpected gifts. Partners involved in romantic relationships cite positivity as the most important maintenance tactic for ensuring happiness. 2. Assurances: - Messages that emphasize how much a partner means to you, demonstrate how important the relationship is, and describe a secure future together. "I love you". 3. Sharing tasks - This involves taking mutual responsibility for chores and negotiating an equitable division of labor. Although this may sound like something that only serious, cohabiting, or married couples face, sharing tasks is relevant for all couples and includes responsibilities like providing transportation to work or campus. 4. Acceptance - The feeling that lovers accept each other for who they really are, fully and completely, and forgive us for our flaws. Forgiving your partner for mistakes and supporting their decisions. 5. Self-disclosure: An essential part of maintaining intimacy is creating a climate of security and trust within your relationship. This allows both partners to feel that they can disclose fears and feelings without repercussion. To foster self-disclosure, each person mus behave in ways that are predictable, trustworthy, and ethical. 6. Relationship talks - Make time to discuss your relationship and really listen. Discussing the status of your relationship, how you feel about each other, and where you both see it going. 7. Social networks - Involve yourself with you partner's friends and family.

Parental favoritism

One or both parents allocate an unfair amount of valuable resources to one child over others. This may include intangible forms of affection, such as statements of love, praise, undue patience, and emotional support. Can also include tangible resources, such as cash loans, college tuition, cars, or job offers.

Friendship and Technology: online vs. offline

Online vs. Offline - Studies show that offline friendships have higher degrees of intimacy, understanding, interdependence, and commitment.

Interparental conflict

Overt, hostile interactions between parents in a household. Associated with children's social problems, including lover levels of play with peers and lower friendship quality.

Physical Proximity--mere exposure effect

Physical proximity: being in each other's presence frequently. Mere exposure effect: - You are likely to be more attracted to people with whom you have frequent contact with and less attracted to those with whom you interact rarely.

Geographic separation

Physical separation prevents friends from adequately satisfying the needs that form the foundation of their relationship, such sharing activities and practicing intimate self-disclosure.

Tensions (openness vs. protection; connection vs. autonomy; predictability vs. novelty)

Relational dialectics: 1. Openness versus protection - As relationships become more intimate, we naturally exchange more personal information with our partners. Most of us enjoy the feeling of unity and mutual insight created through such sharing. But while we want to be open with our partners, we also want to keep certain aspects of our selves-- such as our most private thoughts and feelings-- protected. 2. Autonomy versus connection - We elect to form romantic relationships largely out of desire to bond with other human beings. Yet if we come to feel so connected to our partners that our individual identity seems to dissolve, we may choose to pull back and reclaim some of our autonomy. 3. Novelty versus predictability - Need or stability and need for excitement and change. We all like the security that comes with knowing how our partners will behave, how we'll behave, and how our relationships will unfold. Romances are more successful when the partners behave in predictable ways, however predictability spawns boredom.

Resources - social exchange theory (rewards and costs)*

Resources: - Unique qualities that a person offers, such as: A sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, supportiveness, and whether the person seems fun to be with. Social Exchange Theory: - Proposes that you'll feel drawn to those you see as offering substantial benefits (things you like and want) with few associated costs (things demanded of you in return). Two factors drive whether you find someone attractive: Whether you perceive the person as offering the kinds of rewards you think you deserve in a romantic relationship, and whether you think that the rewards the person can offer you are superior to those you can get somewhere else.

Similarity - birds-of-a-feather effect

Similarity: - Sharing parallel personalities, values, and likes and dislikes. Birds of a feather Effect: - We are attracted to those we perceive as similar to ourselves.

Friends with benefits

The participants engage in sexual activity, but not with the purpose of transforming the relationship into a romantic attachment. Two reasons: 1. They welcome lack of commitment 2. They want to satisfy sexual needs.

Stepfamily transition—triangulation

Triangulation within Step-families: - Loyalty conflicts that arise when a coalition is formed, uniting one family member with another against a third family member. Two forms of triangulation: 1. Children feeling caught between their custodial and their noncustodial parent 2. Step-parents feeling caught between the children in their step-family.

Lee's 6 types of love: storage, agape, mania, pragma, ludus, and eros

Type Description Attributes of Love Storge Friendly lovers Stable, predictable, and rooted in friendship Agape Forgiving lovers Patient, selfless, giving, and unconditional. Mania Obsessive lovers Intense, tumultuous, extreme, and all consuming. Pragma Practical lovers Logical, rational, and founded in common sense. Ludus Game-playing Uncommitted, fun, and lovers played like a game. Eros Romantic lovers Sentimental, romantic, idealistic, and committed.

Relational Maintanence

Using communication and supportive behaviors to sustain a desired relationship status and level of satisfaction.

Reciprocal liking

Whether the person we're attracted to makes it clear, through communication that the attraction is mutual. - Mutual attraction