Compass II Module 10: The Importance of Feedback

to receive feedback, one must:

- be open to the feedback - listen deeply - possess emotional intelligence - be appreciative for the feedback - cultivate a growth (not fixed) mindset

right reasons to give feedback

- commitment/concern for another - sense of responsibility - guide/mentor - support/enhance

wrong reasons to give feedback

- defend/excuse your own behavior - demoralize/condemn - bad mood - appease third party - make yourself superior/more powerful

3 tips to elicit useful feedback

1. give people permission to be honest (ask specific questions to let ppl know actually want feedback) 2. seek out people who are different than you when asking for feedback (People who are like you and whom you get along with will have similar blind-spots as you when giving feedback. The people we struggle to get along with are often in a position to offer us something valuable about ourselves) 3. listen for what's RIGHT about the feedback (Too often, we use all that is wrong with the feedback we get to cancel out the possibility that there is anything right about it. Your feedback might be 99% wrong, but that 1% that's right might be just the insight you need.)

giving feedback 9 step process

1. state your intentions 2. describe situation 3. name behaviors, NOT the person 4. explain the impact of the behavior 5. balance NEGATIVE feedback with positive 6. ask questions - don't assume 7. listen carefully - find common ground 8. problem solve together 9. solicit, then offer specific actionable items

7 criteria for effective feedback

1. the feedback provider is CREDIBLE in the eyes of the feedback recipient 2. the feedback provider is TRUSTED by the feedback recipient 3. the feedback is conveyed with GOOD INTENTIONS 4. the TIMING and CIRCUMSTANCES of giving feedback are appropriate 5. feedback is given in an INTERACTIVE manner 6. the feedback message is CLEAR 7. the feedback is HELPFUL to the recipient

__ feedback can be difficult for both the giver and receiver; it is important to frame feedback so that it is both given and received effectively

Critical or constructive

your motive for giving feedback must be __ and stem from a genuine concern for another person or commitment to a project

authentic

feedback should always be about specific __, not someone's personality (what type of person they are or what they believe in or value)

behavior (separating the problematic situation from the person's identity allows them to focus on what you're saying without feeling personally confronted)

you always have the __ about whether to accept feedback and do something about it—or not

choice

research shows that people who seek out feedback -especially negative feedback that they can learn from - are perceived to be more __, settle into new roles more quickly, and get higher performance reviews

competent

feedback is almost __, and can be given formally or informally in a variety of settings

constant

receiving feedback can be tough- information that is intended to help us improve can cause us to be __ and feel wrong or rejected

defensive

receiving feedback effectively means overcoming our tendency to __ and instead, really dig into what the giver means, where the feedback is coming from, and challenging yourself to find something right about the feedback

dismiss the feedback

giving feedback (especially constructive feedback) effectively requires a large dose of __ and certain key __ skills

emotional intelligence; communication

__ is a way for us to learn something about ourselves that we didn't know before and to recognize the impact our behaviors have on others

feedback

good feedback __ others, not demoralizes or condemns them

guides and supports

Example: a co-worker may not think it's a big deal to let a meeting run over the allotted time. But by doing so, they were perceived as a poor facilitator—and that could affect opportunities in the future. The __ statement regarding the behavior may sound like this: "I noticed that you ran over your allotted time in our meeting today. Though 10 minutes may not seem like a lot, colleagues can't be delayed for other meetings. Not paying attention to things like this may affect whether you're invited to present to the executive team again."

impact

crucial to think about the __ of the behavior you are addressing and to provide context that can inspire the receiver to make a change

impact

learning to listen for what's right about constructive feedback will help you to accelerate your own learning and __

improve your relationships

It is up to you to: - identify if the feedback is __ to one person noticing the behavior or several people noticing it - seek out examples of times you've exhibited the behavior - decide if the feedback is worth doing something about

isolated

Feedback is important bc we rely on and use it to

know what we are doing well, how we can improve, and to know where we stand

in life as much as in work, it's important to know how to provide feedback to others, effectively and constructively without causing __

offense

when feedback is __ it's easy to give and the recipient often feels good and is motivated

positive

feedback is both given and __

received

remember, no matter how great you may be at giving feedback, it's the __ who is in control of how much of the feedback they absorb and whether they choose to change

receiver (if the receiver is unwilling to accept the feedback, then it is useless)

it is helpful to ask for __ that illustrate the feedback and check with others to see if they share this perception of you

stories

when someone gives you feedback, first response should be:

thank you (and then ask a follow-up question to expand)

feedback comes in a variety of forms:

verbal, written, body language, etc

even though you have no control over whether the recipient chooses to act upon your feedback, it is up to __ to ensure your feedback is clearly heard, understood, and accepted

you