ENGL-1A: Practice Final
It is best to avoid first-person expressions like "I think," "I believe," or "I argue" in academic essays.
True
Select the entry that correctly uses MLA style for in-text documentation. (See The Little Seagull Handbook 2e, pp. 112-18.) http://wwnorton.com/college/english/write/LSH2e/full/r-mla-a.html (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. The student is citing the following online work; its author is unknown: "114,000 iPads Hacked." CNN.com. Cable News Network, 10 June 2010. Web. 11 June 2010.
As many as 114,000 new iPad owners were left vulnerable after hackers took advantage of security lapses and gathered private user information ("114,000 iPads").
Select the entry that correctly uses MLA style for in-text documentation. (See The Little Seagull Handbook 2e, pp. 112-18.) http://wwnorton.com/college/english/write/LSH2e/full/r-mla-a.html (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. The student is quoting the words of Thierry Gardere, which appear on page 20 of the following source: Korten, Tristram. "Rum and Hope." The Atlantic May 2010: 19-20. Print.
Thierry Gardere believes "what we have to do in Haiti to survive is to be completely self-sufficient" (qtd. in Korten 20).
Decide whether or not the item contains a sentence fragment. As a travel destination, Asia attracts many Americans now.
does not contain a fragment
When a quote from research is used in your body paragraphs, it should support a specific point or topic sentence in an argument.
True
Select the entry that correctly uses MLA style for in-text documentation. (See The Little Seagull Handbook 2e, pp. 112-18.) http://wwnorton.com/college/english/write/LSH2e/full/r-mla-a.html (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. The student is citing material from page 167 of the following essay in an anthology: Franzen, Jonathan. "David Foster Wallace." Best American Nonrequired Reading 2009. Ed. Dave Eggers. Boston: Mariner, 2009. 167-71. Print.
Franzen explains that details for David Foster Wallace were "a way of connecting, on relatively safe middle ground, with another human being" (167).
Read the paragraph below carefully. Then respond to the question about how to make the paragraph coherent. (1) Many people who use social networking sites are not vigilant about their privacy without realizing the potential consequences. (2) Studies show many users of Facebook and Twitter share details that leave them open to identity theft or other crime. (3) There are serious risks involved in revealing some personal information. (4) ______, a friend might post information about upcoming trips alongside address information, alerting potential thieves that no one will be home. (5) By ignoring privacy settings, you might be giving away control of your personal data. (6) If you want to protect yourself from identity theft, _____, choose settings that protect your profile from strangers using a search engine. (7) _____, internet safety experts recommend against posting full birth dates, including the year. Choose the transition for sentence 4 that makes the most sense in the context of the paragraph.
For example
The paragraph contains several inconsistent shifts in point of view. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. Since 2005, National Geographic and IBM have been conducting a collaborative effort to create the world's largest database of human genotypes. The collaboration, directed by Dr. Spencer Wells, is called the Genographic Project. You can learn more about it on National Geographic's website at https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com. The site includes a video that we can watch to learn about the process of collecting samples. More than six hundred thousand samples have been collected already. Evidence produced by the Genographic Project indicates that all humans originated in East Africa and that global migrations began about forty thousand years ago. The project teaches you that we humans have much in common genetically. Those who go to the website can also become participants if you are willing to pay for the testing supplies. Which option(s) below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
Both are acceptable revisions.
The paragraph contains several comma splices and fused sentences. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. The idea for a national theater or cultural center in Washington, D.C., dates back to 1933, the building we commonly call the Kennedy Center did not open until 1971. The full name of the facility is the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts President Kennedy and his wife, Jacqueline, were instrumental in raising funds for the center. The Kennedy family contributed about $500,000 to the place originally called the National Cultural Center. In 1964, ground was finally broken, the center was renamed in honor of Kennedy in the same year. The center is located on the Potomac River, somewhat removed from the Mall, and it is not easily accessible by public transportation. Gifts from many nations include crystal chandeliers, sculptures, and materials for the walls and curtains. Three main theaters are housed in the center: the largest is the Concert Hall with its powerful pipe organ, the second is the Opera House, the smallest is the Eisenhower Theater. The National Symphony Orchestra performs in the Concert Hall the Washington National Opera performs in the Opera House. Several smaller venues are also located in the center, a gift shop and restaurant are also available. Many of the performance events are free to the public, opportunities for school groups to perform in the facility have been made available. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
Performing Arts; President Kennedy
Read the paragraph carefully. Then respond to the questions about the topic sentence, main point, and supporting details. As many landfills run out of space, some communities are making plans and tackling their heaping piles of garbage with innovative solutions. Of the garbage Americans produce every day, only about thirty percent reaches a recycling center. Education about how and what to recycle is costly but essential. Much of the junk we consume and throw out is not designed with recycling in mind. This solid waste creates one of the biggest problems: recyclable material is clogging landfills. In order to extend the lifespan of their landfills, some communities are expanding recycling programs and trying new technologies to turn trash into energy. A few cities are planning new energy plants that burn garbage to produce energy while still producing less pollution than landfills. Several other cities have facilities that use bioreactor landfills to speed up the decomposition process for trash from 100 years to 5-10 years. The costs and pollution generated by landfills force communities to think creatively about what to do with everything we throw out. Which of the following sentences provides an example to support the main point of the paragraph?
A few cities are planning new energy plants that burn garbage to produce energy while still producing less pollution than landfills.
Each passage contains a sentence fragment. Select the revision that has no fragment. Katherine Dunham, who died in 2006, brought Caribbean and African dance to the United States; in fact, she founded the first African American dance company here. Her notable work on Broadway: Cabin in the Sky.
Katherine Dunham, who died in 2006, brought Caribbean and African dance to the United States; in fact, she founded the first African American dance company here. Her notable work on Broadway includes Cabin in the Sky.
Read each statement and decide whether a writer must provide a citation for the source of the information. If the statement does not require the writer to cite the source because the information is common knowledge, select Common knowledge. If the statement would require a citation, select Needs citation. (See The Little Seagull Handbook 2e, R-4f.) http://wwnorton.com/college/english/write/LSH2e/full/r-4f.html (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. Ronald Reagan gave a speech in 1984 declaring that his "dream is to see the day when nuclear weapons will be banished from the face of the Earth."
Needs citation
Decide whether or not the item contains a sentence fragment. Because my niece is planning to attend college at Ohio State.
contains a fragment
Read the statement and decide whether a writer must provide a citation for the source of the information. If the statement does not require the writer to cite the source because the information is common knowledge, select Common knowledge. If the statement would require a citation, select Needs citation. (See The Little Seagull Handbook 2e, R-4f.) http://wwnorton.com/college/english/write/LSH2e/full/r-4f.html (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. On recent international assessment tests, students in the United States performed thirty-fifth out of the top forty countries in math.
Needs citation
Select the opening paragraph that more effectively engages readers and states a thesis.
In the debate over media violence and its effects on youth, studies are often contested and complex. Although the goal of this research is to find causes in order to reduce violence in our culture, violent media should more accurately be described as one factor among many. Addressing aggressive children's inability to interact successfully with other people may be a more fruitful approach. As Maggie Cutler points out, "However strong media influences may be, real life is stronger" (689).
The paragraph contains several sentence fragments. Decide if the selection in bold needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. One of the most complex military maneuvers of all time was the Allied invasion of Europe by way of the Normandy beaches of northern France. The carefully orchestrated invasion essential to the defeat of Hitler. The Supreme Allied Commander, who was General Dwight D. Eisenhower. Later to become president of the United States. The invasion took place on June 6, 1944. The weather so terrible that the invasion was delayed for a full day. American troops landing on Utah Beach. Encountered only mild resistance at first. In contrast, the landing at Omaha Beach much more treacherous. The coast itself was extremely dangerous, the landing took place too far off shore, and the Germans had double the forces at this site. Other Allied forces the British and the Canadians. Military cemeteries for the fallen Americans, Canadians, and British in Normandy. In Arromanches, the Arromanches 360° and Landing Museum commemorate D-Day. With a video of the invasion and France today surrounding the spectators. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the selection in bold?
The weather was so terrible that the invasion was delayed for a full day.
Each passage contains a sentence fragment. Select the revision that has no fragment. Agnes de Mille (1909-1993) not only ballets based on American folklore but also dances for Broadway musicals. Among the latter, Oklahoma! stands out.
Agnes de Mille (1909-1993) choreographed not only ballets based on American folklore but also dances for Broadway musicals. Among the latter, Oklahoma! stands out.
Select the opening paragraph that more effectively engages readers and states a thesis.
Although many studies show that there may be no nutritional value in choosing organic over other fresh foods, there are several environmental and health benefits to families that make it worthwhile for consumers to seek out organic products. Farmers who are committed to organic methods produce more per acre while promoting biodiversity and making less of an impact on the environment. Organic products are also free of antibiotics and free of the synthetic pesticides and other toxins used around conventional farms. Therefore, choosing to eat foods with the organic label is an important way for people to support these farmers that can also make a difference in overall health.
Select the opening paragraph that more effectively engages readers and states a thesis.
In the race to realign college sports leagues in 2010, the only losers were the fans. As universities publicly considered severing deep rivalries and beloved traditions, the loyalty of fans of college sports was taken for granted. Although the officials in charge of negotiations claimed to have other criteria, the schools involved joined new leagues or stayed put only after carefully calculating national television exposure and revenues for their football teams. While the schools involved made smart business decisions, followers of college sports should remain skeptical about how much the commissioners of these leagues care about average fans.
The paragraph below, which should be written in the third person, contains several inconsistent shifts in point of view. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. Since 2005, National Geographic and IBM have been conducting a collaborative effort to create the world's largest database of human genotypes. The collaboration, directed by Dr. Spencer Wells, is called the Genographic Project. You can learn more about it on National Geographic's website at https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com. The site includes a video that we can watch to learn about the process of collecting samples. More than six hundred thousand samples have been collected already. Evidence produced by the Genographic Project indicates that all humans originated in East Africa and that global migrations began about forty thousand years ago. The project teaches you that we humans have much in common genetically. Those who go to the website can also become participants if you are willing to pay for the testing supplies. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
Interested readers
The paragraph contains several comma splices and fused sentences. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. The idea for a national theater or cultural center in Washington, D.C., dates back to 1933, the building we commonly call the Kennedy Center did not open until 1971. The full name of the facility is the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts President Kennedy and his wife, Jacqueline, were instrumental in raising funds for the center. The Kennedy family contributed about $500,000 to the place originally called the National Cultural Center. In 1964, ground was finally broken, the center was renamed in honor of Kennedy in the same year. The center is located on the Potomac River, somewhat removed from the Mall, and it is not easily accessible by public transportation. Gifts from many nations include crystal chandeliers, sculptures, and materials for the walls and curtains. Three main theaters are housed in the center: the largest is the Concert Hall with its powerful pipe organ, the second is the Opera House, the smallest is the Eisenhower Theater. The National Symphony Orchestra performs in the Concert Hall the Washington National Opera performs in the Opera House. Several smaller venues are also located in the center, a gift shop and restaurant are also available. Many of the performance events are free to the public, opportunities for school groups to perform in the facility have been made available. Which option(s) below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
Both revisions are acceptable.
Read the following passage and the information about its source. Then decide which paraphrase of the passage is better. (See The Little Seagull Handbook 2e, R-4c.) http://wwnorton.com/college/english/write/LSH2e/full/r-4c.html (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. Original source Some recent studies have explored the existence of behavior in toddlers that is "altruistic" in an even stronger sense — like when they give up their time and energy to help a stranger accomplish a difficult task. The psychologists Felix Warneken and Michael Tomasello have put toddlers in situations in which an adult is struggling to get something done, like opening a cabinet door with his hands full or trying to get to an object out of reach. The toddlers tend to spontaneously help, even without any prompting, encouragement or reward. From Bloom, Paul. "The Moral Life of Babies." New York Times Magazine. New York Times, 9 May 2010. Web. The passage appears on page 47.
New studies reveal that toddlers engage in altruistic behavior. Bloom reports on experiments where toddlers, without external prompts, came to the aid of a stranger struggling with a physical task (47).
Read the paragraph carefully. Then respond to the questions about the topic sentence, main point, and supporting details. For some specialized nonprofit agencies, the mission is to reach a particular group of people in need. The organization Give Running serves one such goal by providing shoes to children around the world. By collecting, cleaning, and distributing thousands of pairs of gently used athletic shoes Give Running makes a difference for children in need, including some who have never owned athletic shoes of any kind. Originally the project of a college student in California, the nonprofit grows via more local chapters and shoe collection sites. Donations have gone to the kids of inner-city Los Angeles, to Haitians after the earthquake, and to African villages. The shoes represent opportunity for kids to run and grow. In some countries in the developing world, children are only allowed to attend schools if they have shoes to wear. Not only do shoes protect feet from injuries and allow children to walk safely to school, the donated shoes themselves help make schooling possible. An additional benefit of these donations is that most shoes are being recycled, keeping material out of landfills. Finally, this growing organization accepts and distributes all types of athletic shoes and is eager to expand. Which of the following sentences would be an effective alternative topic sentence for the paragraph?
The nonprofit Give Running provides a significant service by collecting and distributing thousands of pairs of athletic shoes to needy children, many of whom have never owned sneakers.
er because they are too informal or pretentious or because they are jargon or express clichés. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. A classic nineteenth-century English novel is Charles Dickens's Great Expectations. It is really the story of a bunch of messed-up characters trying to raise and control Pip, the main character. Pip also makes lots of mistakes in judgment because he is sucked into a snobby attitude problem under the influence of Miss Havisham and his beloved Estella. Miss Havisham is a psycho old lady who has raised Estella to be cruel and cold as ice because Miss Havisham was jilted on her wedding day. Consequently, Miss Havisham is seeking revenge on all men and plans to use Estella for her diabolical and devious stratagems. Meanwhile, Pip, who is brought up by his overbearing sister and her mercilessly beleaguered husband, Joe Gargery, is the bait for Miss Havisham's project. Pip goes through many trials and tribulations but eventually discovers that his forgotten act of kindness in childhood actually led to his prosperity. Even though his heart is broken, he eventually learns the value of genuine goodness. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
because he is influenced by the snobbish attitudes of
The paragraph contains several short, choppy sentences, which can be combined to create more effective coordinate and subordinate relationships. For each question, decide if the selection in bold needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. Most people are familiar with the story of the sinking of the Titanic on April 14, 1912. Few people know that the Titanic was actually one of three sister ships of the British White Star Line. The ships were all built in the shipyards of Belfast, Ireland. The first ship to be launched was the Olympic. It was launched on June 14, 1911. The Olympic was three inches shorter than the Titanic. Their original designs were identical. The third ship was named the Britannic. It was initially named the Gigantic. It was renamed after the sinking of the Titanic. The Britannic also sank. It sailed from 1914 to 1916, and it sank on its sixth voyage. Only the Olympic had a full career. It operated successfully from 1911 to 1935. The interior details of the Titanic and the Olympic were identical. Moviemakers and historians still study the many pieces of the Olympic sold when it was decommissioned to help them reproduce the Titanic. Which option(s) below would be an acceptable revision of the selection in bold?
Both revisions are acceptable.
Read the paragraph carefully. Then respond to the questions about the topic sentence, main point, and supporting details. For some specialized nonprofit agencies, the mission is to reach a particular group of people in need. The organization Give Running serves one such goal by providing shoes to children around the world. By collecting, cleaning, and distributing thousands of pairs of gently used athletic shoes Give Running makes a difference for children in need, including some who have never owned athletic shoes of any kind. Originally the project of a college student in California, the nonprofit grows via more local chapters and shoe collection sites. Donations have gone to the kids of inner-city Los Angeles, to Haitians after the earthquake, and to African villages. The shoes represent opportunity for kids to run and grow. In some countries in the developing world, children are only allowed to attend schools if they have shoes to wear. Not only do shoes protect feet from injuries and allow children to walk safely to school, the donated shoes themselves help make schooling possible. An additional benefit of these donations is that most shoes are being recycled, keeping material out of landfills. Finally, this growing organization accepts and distributes all types of athletic shoes and is eager to expand. Which of the following sentences from the paragraph does not provide support for the topic sentence?
For some specialized nonprofit agencies, the mission is to reach a particular group of people in need.
Select the opening paragraph that more effectively engages readers and states a thesis.
As long as there have been dress codes in school there have been students testing the limits of what is appropriate. While testing high-school dress codes is nothing new, some current students are defying rules by challenging gender norms for clothing. In response, some schools are working to accept students who experiment with gender norms, while other schools struggle with what is acceptable. For example, some openly gay students have been sent home or disciplined for dress that was not deemed appropriate for their gender. Schools that discipline these students for violating dress codes may be found to be suppressing student free speech or political expression.
The paragraph contains several inconsistent shifts in point of view. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. Since 2005, National Geographic and IBM have been conducting a collaborative effort to create the world's largest database of human genotypes. The collaboration, directed by Dr. Spencer Wells, is called the Genographic Project. You can learn more about it on National Geographic's website at https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com. The site includes a video that we can watch to learn about the process of collecting samples. More than six hundred thousand samples have been collected already. Evidence produced by the Genographic Project indicates that all humans originated in East Africa and that global migrations began about forty thousand years ago. The project teaches you that we humans have much in common genetically. Those who go to the website can also become participants if you are willing to pay for the testing supplies. Which option(s) below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
Both revisions are acceptable.
Read the following passage and the information about its source. Then determine whether the "Using the source" sentence uses the source appropriately. Select "Could be considered plagiarism" if the sentence is not acceptable. Select "Uses the source appropriately" if the sentence uses and acknowledges the source appropriately. Original source: For those who can't afford to be fussy about status or pay, there are of course plenty of jobs in America. Hundreds of thousands of immigrants crowd into the country every year to work in lawn maintenance, on construction crews, or as housecleaners, nannies, and meat packers. Even in the absence of new job creation, high turnover in the low-wage job sector guarantees a steady supply of openings to the swift and the desperate. To white-collar job seekers, these are known as "survival jobs"—something to do while waiting for a "real" job to come along. From: Ehrenreich, Barbara. Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream. Metropolitan Books, 2005. The passage appears on pages 202-03. Using the source: According to Ehrenreich, these "survival jobs" are something to do while waiting for a real job to come along.
Could be considered plagiarism
Read the paragraph carefully. Then respond to the questions about the topic sentence, main point, and supporting details. As many landfills run out of space, some communities are making plans and tackling their heaping piles of garbage with innovative solutions. Of the garbage Americans produce every day, only about thirty percent reaches a recycling center. Education about how and what to recycle is costly but essential. Much of the junk we consume and throw out is not designed with recycling in mind. This solid waste creates one of the biggest problems: recyclable material is clogging landfills. In order to extend the lifespan of their landfills, some communities are expanding recycling programs and trying new technologies to turn trash into energy. A few cities are planning new energy plants that burn garbage to produce energy while still producing less pollution than landfills. Several other cities have facilities that use bioreactor landfills to speed up the decomposition process for trash from 100 years to 5-10 years. The costs and pollution generated by landfills force communities to think creatively about what to do with everything we throw out. Which of the following sentences from the paragraph is the topic sentence?
As many landfills run out of space, some communities are making plans and tackling their heaping piles of garbage with innovative solutions.
The paragraph contains several short, choppy sentences, which can be combined to create more coherent sentences. Decide if the selection in bold needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. Most people are familiar with the story of the sinking of the Titanic on April 14, 1912. Few people know that the Titanic was actually one of three sister ships of the British White Star Line. The ships were all built in the shipyards of Belfast, Ireland. The first ship to be launched was the Olympic. It was launched on June 14, 1911. The Olympic was three inches shorter than the Titanic. Their original designs were identical. The third ship was named the Britannic. It was initially named the Gigantic. It was renamed after the sinking of the Titanic. The Britannic also sank. It sailed from 1914 to 1916, and it sank on its sixth voyage. Only the Olympic had a full career. It operated successfully from 1911 to 1935. The interior details of the Titanic and the Olympic were identical. Moviemakers and historians still study the many pieces of the Olympic sold when it was decommissioned to help them reproduce the Titanic. Which option(s) below would be an acceptable revision of the selection in bold?
Both revisions are acceptable.
Read the following passage and the information about its source. Then determine whether the "Using the source" sentence uses the source appropriately. Select "Could be considered plagiarism" if the sentence is not acceptable. Select "Uses the source appropriately" if the sentence uses and acknowledges the source appropriately. Original source: Radio was a new thrill for many Americans in the twenties, but it had extraordinary value for the isolated farm families of the Midwest, for whom solitude loomed as a daily problem. Radio was a source of music and fun, information and weather reports, and it was an easy way to enjoy the pleasure of other people's company. In-person visiting was a special event that often meant putting on dress clothes and serving cakes and lemonade and gathering politely in the parlor; frequently the press of chores or bad weather made that impossible. But with a radio, women could continue their housework as they listened to a friendly voice; men working in the barn had access to weather reports and farm programs. From: Stern, Jane, and Michael Stern. Two for the Road: Our Love Affair with American Food. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2005. The passage appears on page 103. Using the source: In the twenties, radio was a source of music and fun, information and weather reports (Stern and Stern 103).
Could be considered plagiarism
The paragraph contains several comma splices and fused sentences. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. The idea for a national theater or cultural center in Washington, D.C., dates back to 1933, the building we commonly call the Kennedy Center did not open until 1971. The full name of the facility is the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts President Kennedy and his wife, Jacqueline, were instrumental in raising funds for the center. The Kennedy family contributed about $500,000 to the place originally called the National Cultural Center. In 1964, ground was finally broken, the center was renamed in honor of Kennedy in the same year. The center is located on the Potomac River, somewhat removed from the Mall, and it is not easily accessible by public transportation. Gifts from many nations include crystal chandeliers, sculptures, and materials for the walls and curtains. Three main theaters are housed in the center: the largest is the Concert Hall with its powerful pipe organ, the second is the Opera House, the smallest is the Eisenhower Theater. The National Symphony Orchestra performs in the Concert Hall the Washington National Opera performs in the Opera House. Several smaller venues are also located in the center, a gift shop and restaurant are also available. Many of the performance events are free to the public, opportunities for school groups to perform in the facility have been made available. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
No revision is necessary.
Read the following passage and the information about its source. Then decide which paraphrase of the passage is better. (See The Little Seagull Handbook 2e, R-4c.) http://wwnorton.com/college/english/write/LSH2e/full/r-4c.html (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. Original source Scientists say juggling e-mail, phone calls and other incoming information can change how people think and behave. They say our ability to focus is being undermined by bursts of information. These play to a primitive impulse to respond to immediate opportunities and threats. The stimulation provokes excitement — a dopamine squirt — that researchers say can be addictive. In its absence, people feel bored. From Richtel, Matt. "Hooked on Gadgets, and Paying a Mental Price." New York Times. New York Times, 7 June 2010. Web. The article was accessed online, in a version that appeared without page numbers.
Researchers explain that we erode our ability to focus when we expose ourselves to constant e-mail, messages, and other bits of information. These stimuli excite the brain but can become addictive, so that we become bored when the stimuli are removed (Richtel).
Select the entry that correctly uses MLA style for in-text documentation. (See The Little Seagull Handbook 2e, pp. 112-18.) http://wwnorton.com/college/english/write/LSH2e/full/r-mla-a.html (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. The student is quoting the following one of two works by the same author that appear in the list of works cited. Fallows, James. "Cyber Warriors." Atlantic Monthly Mar. 2010: 58-63. Print.
Some worry about a cyber threat to American security, "that organizations or individuals may be spying on, tampering with, or preparing to inflict damage on America's electronic networks" (Fallows, "Cyber" 60).
The paragraph contains several short, choppy sentences, which can be combined to create more coherent sentences. Decide if the selection in bold needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. Most people are familiar with the story of the sinking of the Titanic on April 14, 1912. Few people know that the Titanic was actually one of three sister ships of the British White Star Line. The ships were all built in the shipyards of Belfast, Ireland. The first ship to be launched was the Olympic. It was launched on June 14, 1911.The Olympic was three inches shorter than the Titanic. Their original designs were identical. The third ship was named the Britannic. It was initially named the Gigantic. It was renamed after the sinking of the Titanic. The Britannic also sank. It sailed from 1914 to 1916, and it sank on its sixth voyage. Only the Olympic had a full career. It operated successfully from 1911 to 1935. The interior details of the Titanic and the Olympic were identical. Moviemakers and historians still study the many pieces of the Olympic sold when it was decommissioned to help them reproduce the Titanic. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the selection in bold?
The first ship to be launched was the Olympic on June 14, 1911.
The paragraph contains several word choices that are inappropriate either because they are too informal or pretentious or because they are jargon or express clichés. For each question, decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. A classic nineteenth-century English novel is Charles Dickens's Great Expectations. It is really the story of a bunch of messed-up characters trying to raise and control Pip, the main character. Pip also makes lots of mistakes in judgment because he is sucked into a snobby attitude problem under the influence of Miss Havisham and his beloved Estella. Miss Havisham is a psycho old lady who has raised Estella to be cruel and cold as ice because Miss Havisham was jilted on her wedding day. Consequently, Miss Havisham is seeking revenge on all men and plans to use Estella for her diabolical and devious stratagems. Meanwhile, Pip, who is brought up by his overbearing sister and her mercilessly beleaguered husband, Joe Gargery, is the bait for Miss Havisham's project. Pip goes through many trials and tribulations but eventually discovers that his forgotten act of kindness in childhood actually led to his prosperity. Even though his heart is broken, he eventually learns the value of genuine goodness. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
a group of troubled characters
The paragraph contains several comma splices and fused sentences. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. The idea for a national theater or cultural center in Washington, D.C., dates back to 1933, the building we commonly call the Kennedy Center did not open until 1971. The full name of the facility is the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts President Kennedy and his wife, Jacqueline, were instrumental in raising funds for the center. The Kennedy family contributed about $500,000 to the place originally called the National Cultural Center. In 1964, ground was finally broken, the center was renamed in honor of Kennedy in the same year. The center is located on the Potomac River, somewhat removed from the Mall, and it is not easily accessible by public transportation. Gifts from many nations include crystal chandeliers, sculptures, and materials for the walls and curtains. Three main theaters are housed in the center: the largest is the Concert Hall with its powerful pipe organ, the second is the Opera House, the smallest is the Eisenhower Theater. The National Symphony Orchestra performs in the Concert Hall the Washington National Opera performs in the Opera House. Several smaller venues are also located in the center, a gift shop and restaurant are also available. Many of the performance events are free to the public, opportunities for school groups to perform in the facility have been made available. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
finally broken, and the center
The paragraph contains several inconsistent shifts in point of view. Decide if the underlined selection needs to be revised or if it is correct as is. Since 2005, National Geographic and IBM have been conducting a collaborative effort to create the world's largest database of human genotypes. The collaboration, directed by Dr. Spencer Wells, is called the Genographic Project. You can learn more about it on National Geographic's website at https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com. The site includes a video that we can watch to learn about the process of collecting samples. More than six hundred thousand samples have been collected already. Evidence produced by the Genographic Project indicates that all humans originated in East Africa and that global migrations began about forty thousand years ago. The project teaches you that we humans have much in common genetically. Those who go to the website can also become participants if you are willing to pay for the testing supplies. Which option below would be an acceptable revision of the underlined selection?
that humans