FAD2230 Ch. 13

What ares one of the specific features affecting the dynamics of homosexual couples raising children?

*1. Because lesbians & gays are stigmatized for having children, the decision to parent is generally a deliberate choice that reflects a strong commitment to raising children.* - Studies show that there is either no different among homosexuals & heterosexuals in their fitness to parent, or that lesbian & gays have an edge in parenting. - Gays & lesbians also have a more egalitarian division of childcare. *2. Lesbian & gay families are more likely to be affected by loss.* - Lacking institutional constraints & support such as legalized marriage, lesbian & gay relationships are more likely to dissolve, & their "break up" may be trivialized. - HIV & AIDs in the gay male community. *3. Lesbian & gay families must cope with homophobia & discrimination.* - Family is vulnerable to ridicule, discrimination, or violence. - Gay & lesbian parents must teach their children about homophobia. *4. Lesbians & gays often have a close network of friends whom they regard as an extended family who provide emotional/social support.* - Social support is crucial from family & friends as a way to ward off oppression & create a safe, supportive environment fro lesbians, gays, and their children. - Gays & lesbians often develop a close group of people who form a sort of extended family. "Fictive kin" are often more reliable & consistent in their support than biological families.

What is *discipline*? What is the purpose of discipline?

*Discipline* comes from "disciple" (learner, pupil, or student). It is intended to be instruction & training, not punishment. - Discipline is always happening; your children are learning something from every interaction you have with them. - Overall, discipline is intended to produce self-control. It *increases appropriate behavior* & *teaches how to control impulsiveness*.

What is *socialization*?

*Socialization* is the lifelong process by which we acquire the cultural values & skills needed to function as human beings & participate in society. Unique to humans because children are helpless at birth & have few instincts compared to other mammals.

What are some of the tools used to discipline? (*DDISCIPLE*)

- *Distraction* - Sometimes, you simply need to divert a child's attention. - *Do's vs. Don't's* - It is often more effective to say what you should do instead of what you shouldn't. - *Ignore some behaviors* - Pick your battles; if you tried to correct every single misbehavior of a child, you would be busy all day. - *Soothe* - Teaching your children how to self-soothe; time out & time in. - *Choices* - Helps children develop autonomy; they feel empowered by making simple choices. - *Involve the Child in the Behavior Plan* - Ask your child, "If you're not home by 10, what is an appropriate consequence?" - *Positive Reinforcement* - Notice when your child does something right. - *Logical Consequences/Logical Reasoning* - Match the punishment with the offense. Don't punish your child for coming home late by asking them to do the laundry. Rather, punish your child for coming home late by revoking driving privileges. *Increase Consistency* *Natural Consequences* - Point out the natural consequences; "if you push the spaghetti on the floor, you're going to be hungry." *Example* - Model desired behaviors.

What is *racial (or ethnic) socialization*?

- *Racial (or ethnic) socialization* involves teaching minority children about prejudice, discrimination, & the coping skills necessary to develop & maintain a strong, healthy self-image. - Also important in shaping children's attitudes, beliefs, & self-efficacy in dealing with racial or ethnic experiences. It can instill a sense of identity, pride, & enculturation. - This support has been shown to reduce the harmful effects of racism (anger, hostility, aggression).

Describe Bandura's *social learning theory*.

- *Social learning theory* is the theory that behavior is learned through modeling & reinforcement. - When parents smile, hug, or hit their children, it's a powerful socialization process that sets an example for how children should choose to interact with others. - Ex: Bobo doll experiment.

Discuss cognitive abilities. How do they affect parent-child interaction?

- A child's stage of cognitive development influences how parents socialize & interact with the child (e.g., a baby in the sensorimotor stage isn't prompted to do math problems). - Other cognitive ability, such as IQ, also greatly influence how parents socialize their children. Despite cultural discrepancies, a score of 135 (gifted) or a score 65 (retarded) still has meaning. - Cognitive skills can greatly affect the way that parents & children interact, including the types of conversations they have, the games they can play, the chores they are given, the type of discipline used, & the overall expectations for the child.

Discuss children of homosexual couples. How are they conceived? Do they have adjustment issues?

- Adoption & artificial insemination are pathways to parenthood. However, most lesbian & gay families are formed as stepfamilies, in which the children were conceived in an earlier heterosexual relationship by one of the partners. - Contrary to popular belief, children growing up in gay or lesbian families do no struggle with psychological well-being, school performance, substance abuse, delinquency, or early sexual experiences. There is little or no significant difference in children from same-sex & opposite-sex homes.

Discuss *temperament*. How does it affect parents? What 9 characteristics does temperament involve?

- All people have an in-born behavioral style known as *temperament*. It influences how children behave toward others & how, in turn, they're affected by their environment. - Children are classified as "easy" or "difficult". - Temperament affects the views that parents have of the child (e.g. "easy" children may receive more attention & affection) & the views they have of themselves as parents. - Temperament assessments look at 9 characteristics: (1) Activity level (2) Regularity (3) Adaptability (4) Approach to novelty (5) Emotional intensity (6) Quality of mood (7) Sensory sensitivity (8) Distractibility (9) Persistence. (*PARADE IS QA*)

What is Charles Horton Cooley (1864-1929) known for?

- Charles Horton Cooley is known for the *sociological perspective*. He believed that human behavior & our self-identity are shaped by interactions with others & the meaning we attach to those interactions. You can't form self-concept without social contact. - He suggested that we come to see ourselves as others perceive & respond to us, a process he described as the *looking-glass self*.

Why is American mothering so intense & fraught with anxiety?

- Compared to other developed nations, American mothering is more intense & fraught with anxiety. Women are constantly worried about whether or not they are perfect mothers. - Women in other countries are less likely to worry about employment or debate whether young children benefit from childcare or should stay at home. - Much of this confidence comes from knowing that they're not mothering alone; the government provides many social health professionals. - Also, only in Western societies do women (& their partners) raise children in isolation; other places draw on an extended circle of family. May be because we are a very mobile people.

Discuss fathering as an identity: What was fathering like in the mid-19th century? How did fathering change with the social movements of the 1970's? How do we view fathering today?

- Fathers are stereotyped as "breadwinners," but they have also played other social roles throughout history (moral overseer, nurturer, & a gender model for sons). - The industrial revolution transformed the father's role into that of the "good provider". Instead of participating in the nurturing & care-taking aspects of family life, fathers were removed from the work done at home. - This model continued until the 1970's-1980's. Social movements led more married women to seek employment, and families began to restructure themselves. - In the last 20 years, a lot of men have wrestled with roles as fathers; fatherhood is less defined & stereotyped as motherhood. - Culturally, most of us now believe that a father should be engaged with his children, and recognize him as any important nurturing figure in the family.

What predicts paternal involvement? What are the benefits of paternal involvement?

- Fathers who were raised by their biological fathers, have higher levels of education, have employed partners, & have more egalitarian views about gender, are more involved with their children. - Father's involvement can enhance children's social, emotional, & cognitive wellbeing. The degree of "father love" (children's perceptions of paternal acceptance/rejection & affection/indifference) is just as important in the lives of children as "mother love".

Discuss fathering as an activity: How often do fathers interact with their children? How was does this change over time? How many U.S. children will live without their biological father?

- Fathers' involvement is increasing; they spend more hours per week in direct childcare & are more likely than mothers to say that they spend "too little" time with children. - The amount of time fathers spend with children declines as the child ages. - Nearly half of U.S. children will experience living without a biological father for some period of their childhood.

In what ways may racial & ethic families differ from the majority culture? Give one example.

- How they practice religion or medicine - Primacy of family ties - Gendered patterns of behavior - Emphasis on time/promptness - Degree of hierarchy & authority in their relationships - Views on the roles of the elderly - Importance of group cooperation versus individual achievement - The way they interact, nurture, & discipline their children. ⦿ For example, Japanese families have more traditional views of gender; few Japanese mothers work outside of the home, & fathers are largely absent from the domestic world.

How does "good parenting" differ among cultures?

- How we parent our children and what we consider good parenting differs among cultures. - For example, in some cultures, parents "wear" their children, sleep with their children, breastfeed their children for several years, and are rarely separated; whereas in America, our babies sleep in separate rooms, are fed by bottles, & are carried in strollers. - In many places without access to birth control (such as Africa), families commonly have 6-8 children - Across all cultures, parents' primary job is *socialization*.

How do maternity & paternity benefits differ among nations?

- In other countries, parents have an extensive array of maternity & paternity benefits that allow them to stay at home while their children are young without losing jobs, seniority or pay. - In many European countries, families receive a cash benefit from the government to help with the costs of raising children called a *family allowance (child allowance)*. It is available to all families, rich or poor. - In the U.S., there is no mandated paid maternity leave, and women return to work very quickly.

Discuss mothering as an identity.

- In the U.S., mothers say that motherhood is a more powerful identity than marital status or occupation. - Women with children report experiencing greater meaning in their lives than child-free women. - However, they also report greater distress or depression, depending on the age of the child. This is due to (1) extensive & ongoing emotional work, (2) increased household labor, and (3) a reduction in finances (quitting/cutting back on work), (4) increased financial needs that accompany children, & (5) a lack of social support & govt. assistance.

Discuss mothering as an activity: how involved are U.S. mothers? How does employment change this? What is the cultural contradiction regarding employed mothers?

- Mothers in the U.S. are usually more involved with their children than are fathers. They do most of the hands-on care, emotional work, discipline, transporting, & management (e.g. care appointments). - A woman's employment slightly reduces the amount of time she spends with their children. Stay at home moms spend 32 hours per week mothering; employed moms spend 27 hours per week mothering. - Nonetheless, employed mothers feel guilty about the time they spend away from home. Even though most mothers work outside the home, they face judgement for doing so; yet, if they stay home, they are disconnected from the larger world (*cultural contradiction*).

Discuss *parental identity*.

- Parenting reflects both an identity & a specific set of tasks. - All of the expectations of "mothers" and "fathers" are socially constructed, and thus, continually changing. - What is seen as good mothering or fathering in one placed & time may be perceived quite differently elsewhere.

Discuss health & well-being. How do they affect parents?

- Parents of children with chronic conditions or disabilities must prepare their children for a unique set of challenges. - For example, 6 million children have asthma. Parents must actively monitor their children, teach them about the factors that trigger their asthma, and develop a treatment plan for them (i.e. inhaler). - Parents of severely disabled children face many struggles: finding adequate childcare, organizing critical social & health services, coping with the stigma attached to the condition, & managing the guilt that parents feel when they see their child suffer.

Discuss sex. How does it affect parent-child interactions? How does it affect couple interactions?

- Parents react differently to sons & daughters (ex/ parents are more verbal with daughters and more physical with sons). - The amount of time parents spend with sons and daughters, especially the father's time, differs. - The child's sex influences the parents' relationship with one another: parents report more satisfaction with their relationship after birth of a son & are more likely to marry if they haven't already done so. Also, married couples are less likely to divorce if they have sons than if they have daughters.

What are Piaget's 4 stages of cognitive development?

- Piaget was particularly interested in how children come to understand the world & make meaning of their experiences. - He identified 4 stages of cognitive development. 1. *Sensorimotor Stage* (B-2) - the infant explores the world through direct sensory & motor contact. Object permanence & separation anxiety develop during this stage. 2. *Pre-operational Thought* (2-7) - the child uses symbols (words & images) to present objects but does not yet reason logically. They learn language, symbolic play, & symbolic drawing. During this stage, the child is egocentric. 3. *Concrete Operational Thought* (7-12) - the child can think logically about concrete objects, and thus can add & subtract. The child also understands classification & conversation. 4. *Formal Operational Thought* (Adolescence - Adulthood) - the child can reason abstractly & think in hypothetical terms. They can conceptualize more complex issues or rules that can be used for problem solving.

Give 4 factors that should be taken into account when considering single-parent families.

- Single-parent families have been maligned for causing many social problems, however: 1. There are different kinds of single-parent families with different circumstances (i.e. teen versus vs. female executive in her 40's). 2. There are different paths to single-parenthood with varying consequences (child out of wedlock, divorce, widowhood). 3. The cause-and-effect relationship is unclear (does poverty cause single-parenthood, or vice versa?) 4. Single parenthood is less problematic in other nations because they have social supports that are notably lacking in the U.S. (higher minimum wage, nationalized health care, and childcare assistance).

What is the *bi-directional nature of parenting*?How does *systems theory* explain the exchange between parents & children? What factors do children influence their socialization through?

- The *bi-directional nature of parenting* explains how parents influence their children, and children also influence their parents. - *Systems theory* reminds us that families aren't just one unit. They are made up of many difference subsystems, and each subsystem operates to influence the whole. - Parents don't simply socialize children; children influence their socialization through *temperament*, *cognitive abilities*, *health & well-being*, and *sex*.

Discuss the statistics regarding single parents: How has the number of single parents varied? How does it differ among races? What is the rise in single-parent families due to? Are all "single-parent households" truly single?

- The number of single parents has risen in recent generations, yet, the total number has been relatively stable since the mid-1990s. - Single-parent families have lower levels of education, are more likely to be impoverished & utilize food stamps, and are less likely to own their own homes. - Black-children are more likely to live with a single parent than are other groups (2/3 of Black children). - Concern regarding single-parent families is targeted toward young women having babies outside of marriage. However, the rise in single-parent families is the result of older unmarried women (often with education & a career) who are having babies by choice. - In some cases, a "single parent household" is actually a cohabiting household. The partner in the relationship may play varying roles.

What was parenting like in colonial America? How did parenting change during industrialization, urbanization, immigration? How did parenting change in the progressive era of the 1900's?

- What we consider good parenting today was not always seen that way. In colonial America, parents were strict and emotionally distant; children were thought to have "original sin". They were treated like miniature adults and put to work to help support the family. - Industrialization, urbanization, and immigration brought change. Produced two views of childhood: the *protected child* among wealthy families, who was given education & leisure; and the *useful child* among poor families, whose labor was needed to make ends meet. - In the Progressive Era of the 1900s, laws were passed to protect all workers (children in particular). With these work protections in place, the concept of childhood expanded to include adolescence.

Under what circumstances do grandparents often raise their grandchildren?

- When parents are unable or unwilling to care for their children, grandparents may step in. It is mostly done privately; other times, child welfare agencies intervene. - Most common reason grandparents raise their children is substance abuse. Inability to care for the child, neglect, & psychological and financial problems were also cited. - Only 1/3 of grandparents initially expect to be a long-term caregiver when they begin to care for their grandchildren. - Children separated from parents experience trauma, but a grandparent can minimize that by providing a sense of continuity and family support.

Which 3 parenting trends exist in both industrial & non-industrial societies today?

1. *Although parents are central to childrearing, other people & social institutions are becoming increasingly involved in raising children*. Includes grandparents, daycares, govt. agencies, schools, and etc. 2. *Parents around the world increasingly encourage permissiveness & child independence*. The value of obedience has declined globally, and more emphasis is placed on independence & personal responsibility. 3. *In most societies, a higher value is placed on boys than on girls*. Preference for sons is based on family inheritance & the need for sons to care for aging parents. Especially strong in countries such as Kenya, China, & India.

How does social class affect socialization? Discuss money, values, parenting styles, and activities

1. *Social class affects how much money parents have to spend on children*. - This in turn affects where they live; the quality of their schools; the neighbors & friends they have; the clothes they wear; and their toys, hobbies, & activities. 2. *Social class affects the desires & values parents have for their children*. - Low-income parents value obedience, conformity, staying out of trouble, & keeping clean. - Higher-income parents value creativity, independence, curiosity, & good judgement. 3. *Social class affects approaches to parenting*. - Low-income parents tend to be more controlling, authoritarian, inconsistent, & physical in their discipline. - High-income parents are more democratic & receptive to their children. 4. *Social class affects the activities that children engage in*. - Middle-class parents often enroll their children in organized activities, whereas working-class children were more likely to spend free time with family & neighborhood friends.

What are some of the challenges for grandparents raising grandchildren?

1. Physical exhaustion (over half are single grandparents) 2. Physical or mental health problems 3. Poor, difficulty paying housing bills, or on public assistance.

What are child outcomes based on parenting styles?

Children with *authoritative* parents - Best social skill - Best academic achievement - Lowest levels of depression - Least rebellious Children with *authoritarian* parents - Most rebellious - Fearful Children with *permissive* parents - More rebellious & impulsive (no one set any guidelines). Children with *neglectful* parents - Highest levels of depression - Least social skills - Worst academic performance

How does Freud's *Psychoanalytic Perspective* suggest that children develop socially?

Freud proposed that human behavior & personality originate from unconscious forces within the individual: - *ID* - the part of personality that includes biological drives & needs for immediate gratification. Present at birth & readily visible in young children. - *Ego* - the rational component of personality that attempts to balance the need for immediate gratification with the demands of society. Arises as we become aware that we can't have all that we desire. - *Superego* - our conscience, which draws upon our cultural values & norms to help us understand why we can't have everything we want.

What do children need?

It depends on their *developmental age* & *ability*. Generally, children need to: 1. Feel valued 2. Develop autonomy 3. Develop skills valued by society 4. Develop the ability to accept love & give love.

What is George Herbert Mead (1863-1931) known for?

Mead extended Cooley's work in several ways: 1. He proposed that social experience includes symbolic interaction. We don't just interact with words, but also with important symbols & meanings (e.g., eye contact, gestures). 2. Focused on *role taking*, the process of mentally assuming the role of another person to understand the world from their point of view & to anticipate their response to us. 3. Suggested that the social self is divided into 2 components - *I* (the subjective element of the self that represents the interaction we initiate) and *me* (the objective element of the self that reflects the internalized perceptions of others toward us).

Describe how parents' beliefs & behaviors regarding gender shape the attitudes of their children.

Parents are a major force in shaping the gendered attitudes of their children. - Boys tend to evaluate themselves as more intelligent than girls evaluate themselves. This is likely because parents often rate boys' intelligence higher than that of girls. - Sons who grew up in a household where mothers stayed home while fathers worked held more traditional gender views. In contrast, sons who saw their fathers doing stereotypical female labor were more likely to engage in those types of tasks as adults.

How do the traits that parents value reflect their world of work?

Sociologists suggest that parents value traits in their children that reflect the parents' world of work. Working-class jobs require conformity; higher-income jobs work with people or ideas and involve self-direction & creativity.

How do single-parent families differ in parent-child communication?

Studies show that children in single-parent families talk to their mothers more often than children do in two-parent families. After a divorce, mothers & children often report greater equality, intimacy, and companionship.

What are the 5 *agents of socialization*?

The *agents of socialization* teach children about the norms & values of their particular culture. 1. *Family members* - first exposure to a culture's values & customs; passes on SES, race, religion, & ethnicity. 2. *Schools & childcare* - introduces children to different people & settings; teaches a wide range of knowledge, skills, & customs (including political ideology). 3. *Peer groups* - children learn to look, dress, talk, & act like others in their group. 4. *Toys & games* - teach children what it means to be a boy, girl, man, or woman in our culture. 5. *The mass media*.

What are the 4 styles of parenting?

We think of parenting in terms of *warmth* & *control*. 1. *Authoritative* parents have high control & high warmth. - They are democratic & give their children choices within limits. - They are intentional (planned parenting). - They are flexible, caring, & responsive. - They foster mutual respect. 2. *Authoritarian* parents have high control & low warmth. - They are firm, rigid, directive, punitive, & reactionary. - Have unquestioning authority & expect complete obedience. - Communicate very little with their children. - Enforce a hierarchy of respect. - Are more likely to use corporal punishment. 3. *Permissive* parents have low control & high warmth. - Foster an encouraging, friend-like relationship. - They have few rules, monitoring, & limits. - Don't hold children accountable for their actions. 4. *Neglectful* parents have low control & low warmth. - Little involvement, few limits, avoid parenting.

What can be done to reduce teen pregnancies?

What can be done to reduce teen pregnancies? *1. Reinvigorate prevention efforts, intensifying the focus on underlying causes.* - Most prevention efforts focus on young people's decision-making & behavior, but ignore broader macro-level factors (race & ethnicity, family income, single parenthood, unemployment, neighborhood effects, and exposure to media). *2. Help parents succeed in their roles of sex educators.* - Teens with strong attachment to parents & close supervision are less likely to be sexually active & more likely to use contraceptive if they are. - Prevention efforts should build parental involvement in pregnancy prevention programs, & parents should be given tools to talk to their children effectively. *3. Broaden the scope of pregnancy prevention efforts.* - Pregnancy prevention programs should focus on both males and females. - They should focus on risk-taking behaviors (drinking, drugs), not just sex alone. *4. Provide accurate, clear, consistent, & ongoing information about how to reduce risk-taking behaviors.* - Focus less on reproductive biology & more on teaching adolescents correct information about pregnancy & prevention. - Giving teens they skills they need to handle relationships, resist peer pressure, negotiate difficult situations, and make good decisions. *5. Create a community-wide plan for teen pregnancy prevention, including adolescent reproductive health services.* - Sexually active teens should have access to low-cost or free contraceptives. - Should address factors such as sex abuse and coercive sex. *6. Give young people a credible vision of a positive future.* - Show clear connections and pathways to college or jobs that give them hope and a reason to stay in school. - Develop mentoring programs for at-risk youth (involving education, support services, service learning, employment opportunities, & a caring/attentive adult).