FSW 261 Exam 3

• How would you describe "Work-Family Conflict in the 21st Century" (pp. 262-263)?

"an increasing mismatch between our economic system and the needs of American families" work demands have increased over the past several decades

What is emotional intelligence, and how might it contribute to better communication?

(1) awareness of what we're feeling so that we can express our feelings more authentically; (2) ability and willingness to repair our moods, not unnecessarily nursing our hurt feelings; (3) healthy balance between controlling rash impulses and being candid and spontaneous; and (4) sensitivity to the feelings and needs of others

What facts are helpful to recognize when parenting LGBT children (see box page 233)?

-being LGBT is not a disorder -LGBT people often feel guilty, worried, fearful of discrimination -all cultures and historical periods have LGBT people -hiding one's orientation can be extremely stressful and isolating -physical and mental health is better when they feel social support -acceptance allows for open discussion

What do we know about conflict and family relationships?

-conflict is inevitable

• What communication-related factors are related to family/couple satisfaction?

-disclosing one's feelings -conveying affection; absence of positive affect predictive of divorce -good listening

How should we handle conflict in relationships? When is it ok to "pick your battles" i.e., let something go? What can avoidance of conflict do in a relationship? What is passive-aggression?

-how it's handled is what matters; pick your battles & avoidance can make things worse Avoidance causes: passive-aggression creates distance & pain can create indifference toward partner/family member

Spanking - Is it ever appropriate?

-illegal in 19 european countries - corporal punishment in schools legal in 19 U.S. states -children under 2 years and adolescents should never be spanked

What do we know about gay and lesbian partners and how they divide up housework?

-lesbian couples seem most egalitarian -gay male couples with children often have one partner at home (26%)

• Social Class and Parenting: What are some differences in options/resources that middle- and upper-middle-class parents have as opposed to parents who are among the working poor? Who tends to engage in hyperparenting? What is it, and what might be the outcome? What does research show about the outcomes?

-many SES parents engage in hyperparenting pg. 235

What is the book's definition of spanking? How common is it in the U.S.? What do experts say about it? Who is spanked most often? What are some factors related to whether a parent is likely to spank?

-many parents spank at least occasionally -experts agree... among white children, frequent spanking linked to later behavioral and mental health problems; never spank when angry; always use verbal explanation -experts have conflicting opinions; teaches "hidden agenda"; only negative when perceived as aggressive boys under age 2 are spanked the most characteristics related to spanking include: parental gender, age, education, family size

• What factors does optimal parenting involve (p. 245)?

-supportive family communication -involvement in child's life and school -private safety nets -adequate economic resources -society-wide policies that bolster all parents -safe and healthy neighborhoods that encourage positive parenting, school achievement, and reciprocal social support -workplace policies that facilitate a healthy work-family balance and support parenting in other ways as well

What are some images and realities of motherhood/mothers?

-typically do engage in more hands-on parenting and take primary responsibility; quality time; differences in gender roles -"should" enjoy and intuitively know what to do -some do not want to be involved or primary responsible for daily care -many have to learn how to parent

• What is "good listening"? What are "listener backchannels"?

-use of "listener back channels"; must be genuine -involves avoidance of interrupting and criticism/negative messages -shows love, concern, and respect -results in others feeling heard and understood

• What are some Signs of Intimate Terrorism (p. 316)? Why Do Intimate Terrorists Do It? And Why Do Victims Continue to Live with It?

1. dominance 2. humiliation 3. isolation 4. threats 5. intimidation intimate terrorism is a method of establishing and maintaining power an intimate terrorist is not changing if he or she: 1. minimizes the abuse or denies the seriousness of its consequences 2. continues to blame others; 3. insists that the victim owes him or her another chance 4. resists staying in treatment or threatens to quit 5. says he or she can't make it if the partner leaves 6. expects something from the victim in exchange for promises to get help why? fear, cultural norms and gender socialization, economic hardship, low self-esteem

• What are 10 Guidelines for constructive conflict management?

1. express anger directly (be gentle, kind, don't assume others can mind-read) 2. check out your interpretation 3. try to avoid attacks-- say how use feel 4. avoid mixed or double messages --verbal and/or nonverbal 5. choose time and place 6. focus on specific issues, ask for specific change, be open to compromise 7. be willing to change 8. don't try to win; losing lessens self-esteem, increases resentment 9. be willing to forgive 10. end the argument

What are six societal features that make parenting difficult (pp. 223-224)?

1. the parenting role conflicts with the working role & employers typically place work demands first 2. parents raise their children in a pluralistic society sometimes characterized by conflicting values 3.the emphasis on how parents influence their children can be overwhelming 4. parents are forced to take care of both children and elderly 5.society-wide support has diminished for the child-raising role 6. parents are given full responsibility for successfully raising "good" children but their authority is often questioned

How many women experience marital rape? As of what year was marital rape illegal in all 50 states? What is reproductive coercion?

10-14% of women 1993 martial rape illegal behavior related to reproductive health that is used to maintain power and control in a relationship

• What percent of U.S. grandparents are raising grandchildren? What accounts for (are the reasons for) a very large majority of grandparents families/grandfamilies?

11% of grandparents are raising grandchildren Reasons: largely due to recession, unmarried parenthood, divorce or separation, poverty, substance abuse, HIV/AIDS, domestic violence, abandonment, and incarceration

• Housework: How has the average amount of time spent on housework changed over the years?

1976: women= 26 hrs/wk; men=6 2005: women= 17 hrs/wk; men=13 about 30hrs per week of total housework duties

• How many wives earn significantly more than their husbands?

29% of wives earn significantly more than their husbands

• About how many children are in foster care in the U.S.? What are the two most common living arrangements for children in foster care?

400,500 children are in foster care licensed foster parents home with non relatives and licensed foster parents home with relatives

• What is the (gender) wage gap? What are some reasons why it exists? How does the wage gap differ/compare across racial and ethnic groups? What is the motherhood penalty?

= the difference in earnings between men and women men continue to dominante corporate america =describes the fact that motherhood has a significant negative lifetime impact on female income

• What is intimate partner violence? What do we know about "The Incidence of Intimate Partner Violence" (p. 312)? Who Are the Victims of Intimate Partner Violence - see also Figure 12.3? What are some "Correlates of Family Violence"?

= the physical or emotional abuse of spouses of either gender, cohabiting or non cohabiting heterosexual or same-sex relationship partners, or former spouses or intimate partners has declined significantly over the past decades 3.6 per 1,000 in people 12 and older victims are mainly native american females and native american males are in second place

• How have American's opinions about how "marriages work better" in regard to gender and work changed over the past few decades (p. 252)? Yet, how have American's traditional attitudes persisted in regard to "what makes a good husband/wife" (p. 252)?

Americans have changed from thinking that having a dominant male figure is necessary and moving more toward egalitarian viewpoints depends on the income for either partner

• How do researchers measure "Domination and Submission in Couple Communication Patterns" (p. 310)?

Domination: 1. when we disagree, my goal is to convince my partner that I am right 2. when we argue, I try to win 3. I try to take control when we argue 4. I rarely let my partner win an argument 5. When we argue, I let my partner know I am in charge Submission: 1. I give in to my partner's wishes to settle arguments on my partner's terms 2. When we have conflict, I usually give in to my partner 3. I surrender to my partner when we disagree on an issue. Sometimes I agree with my partner just so the conflict will end. 4. When we argue, I usually try to satisfy my partner's needs rather than my own

What are some images and realities of fatherhood/fathers?

Fathers still viewed as "helpers" growing number taking primary responsibility for children

• What three work-family issues are addressed in the text (pp. 266-267)? When juggling work and family, who/what can help parents? "What's needed to address these issues?" (pp. 267-270)

What are the issues? inadequate economic resources parental stress due to work-family conflict persistent gender inequality What's needed to address the issues? 1. adequate wages 2. quality, affordable elder and child care 3. Family Leave 4. Flexible Scheduling

• FROM Moyer (2014) article: What are some recommendations for parents - especially White parents - in regard to teaching their children about race and racism? What are some studies that provide evidence for children recognizing racial differences and being influenced by observations of racial inequities/inequalities in society?

actually talking to their kids about race as opposed to ignoring the issue or scolding them explain race does exist but it doesn't mean your better or worse than anyone else many factors come into play like the child themselves, the environment, the age, and the context parents taking a moment to recognize where, the racial things that their kids say, are coming from talk about the country's history with race this is all incredibly important

Gender and Intimate Partner Violence: What differences do we see among women and men as victims and perpetrators? What is the difference between situational couple violence and intimate terrorism?

an overwhelming victimization of women when compared with men in every race/ethnic category conflicting findings have set an unresolved dispute as to whether IPV is asymmetrical or symmetrical situation couple violence= refers to symmetrical violence between partners that occur in conjunction with a specific argument, tends to be less severe in terms of injuries and is not likely to escalate as the relationship progresses

Who are nonresident fathers, and are they always "absent" fathers?

are biological or, much less often, adoptive fathers who do not live with one or more of their children the majority of nonresident fathers maintain some presence in their children's lives and provides them with various kinds of practical support

What are the four different parenting styles described by Baumrind (note that the figure provided in Table 9.1 is set up differently than what I presented in class)? How do they differ?

authoritarian: high parental monitoring & low parental warmth authoritative/positive: high parental monitoring & high parental warmth permissive-emotional neglect: low parental monitoring & low parental warmth permissive-indulgent: low parental monitoring & high parental warmth

From class/lecture: What is "White Privilege Parenting" according to the mother's blog we read?

being privileged based on your white-ness but neglectful of the oppression other parents of different races feel, due to one's own privilege

What are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling

If the "problem" and/or responsibility lies within the individual family members or couple, what interventions might help? If the "problem" and/or responsibility is at the systemic level, how can employers and government help families?

depends on where responsibility & problem lies... family: relatives & friends, time/stress management education, couple/family therapy all of us/system: employers; provide more family-friendly work place policies; government; provide more help with child care, elder care, more family-friendly policies/regularities

Will counseling save a relationship? What is The Myth of Conflict-Free Conflict?

despite its substantiated benefits, the extent to which counseling "saves" relationships is difficult to measure. the myth=even when both partners develop constructive habits, all their problems will not necessarily be resolved; a complainant may feel that he or she is being fair in bringing up a grievance and discussing it openly and calmly, the recipient may view the complaint as critical and punitive, and may not want to bargain about the issue

• What are some "workplace obstacles to being an involved father?"

don't have many options when it comes to job demands coworkers' resentment & challenges challenges to masculinity some don't believe that family responsibilities should interfere with work

How do race/ethnicity and other factors play a role in the amount of housework?

economic status plays a role

• What is family cohesion, and how does it relate to marital/family happiness and communication?

emotional bonding: predictive martial and family happiness; fostered by positive affect and communication

What is the second shift?

employed parents put in a second shift of unpaid family work that amount to an extra month of work each year

What do children of all ages need (p. 230)?

encouragement, adéquate nutrition and shelter, parental interest in their schooling, and consistency in rules and expectations

What is family leave? What is the 1993 Family and Medical Leave Act? Who is eligible/covered? Does it help the majority of workers in the U.S.?

family leave= involves an employee's being able to take an extended period of time from work, either paid or unpaid, for the purpose of caring for their own health needs or for a newborn, a newly adopted or seriously ill child, or for an elderly parent, with the guarantee of a job upon returning the act mandates up to 12 weeks of unpaid family leave for workers in companies with at least 50 employees, but unpaid leave will not solve the problem for a vast majority of employees, because most working parents need the income

• What is spillover? What is role conflict?

how pleasures or stresses associated with work affect interaction within the family meeting the demands of one institution conflict with meeting the simultaneous but different demands of another institution

• Be familiar with the pie chart on page 252: Married couples: Who's working? (Figure 10.1).

husband & wife = 54% no earner= 15% wife only = 7% husband only = 19% husband or wife and other earners= 3%

• What Wal-Mart-related example does the book give for how "family members can influence workplace policies and conditions" (p. 251)?

in 2010, the way-mart corporation settled the largest sex-discrimination lawsuit in history when it agreed to pay $86 million in damages to over 200,00 female employees and family members. They had paid less than it paid its male employees, and the female employees sued for damages

• What is unpaid family work - what is involved?

involves caring for dependent family members, such as the elderly or the children, as well as maintaining the family domicile

• What is Power? What are the six bases or sources of social power? "Current research measures couple power in what four ways?" (pp. 304-309)

is the ability to exercise one's will six bases= coercive power, reward power, expert power, informational power, referent power, legitimate power 4 ways= 1. decision making 2. division of labor 3. allocation of money 4. ability to influence

• "Despite media interest in professional stay-at-home mothers, the majority of stay-at-home mothers have"... what? (p. 257)

no more than a high school diploma and have relatively low household incomes

What is a social father? How do younger children seem to benefit from living with a social father?

non-biological fathers in the role of father, such as stepfather; do not seem to improve adolescents' outcomes when compared with living in a single-mother household; younger children benefit economically when living with a social father

• FROM McRobbie (2015) article: What can parents - especially heterosexual parents - do to teach their children about the diversity of family forms and to not "raise a homophobe"?

one of the best ways to teach your children that it's OK to have two mommies or two daddies is to be, "an advocate in your community." having your child be exposed to more people who don't identify as heterosexual counterbalance the increasing amount of homophobic vitriol they're likely to hear as they grow up being an ally takes effort

• Racial/Ethnic Diversity and Parenting: What issues/questions do racial/ethnic minority parents face when raising their children that white parents generally do not? What parenting styles are common amongst different racial/ethnic groups?

pg.239

• How do rates of intimate partner violence among same-sex couples compare to rates among heterosexual couples? What is an additional concern some sexual minority victims might have? (p. 320)

rates of same-sex intimate partner violence are "comparable to rates of heterosexual domestic violence, with approximately one quarter to one half of all same-sex intimate relationships demonstrating abusive dynamics," and upwards of half of all transgendered people reporting intimate partner victimization LGBT people may be afraid to go to the police being afraid of being discriminated against due to their sexual orientation

Child Maltreatment: What is child abuse, child neglect, and child sexual abuse? How Extensive is Child Maltreatment?

refers to excessive verbal derogation or physical abuse towards a child child neglect= involves failing to provide adequate physical or emotional care, child maltreatment child maltreatment is reported much more frequently among poor and nonwhite families than among middle and upper class white families

How many families are led by single fathers and have married stay-at-home dads?

single fathers= almost 2 million married stay-at-home dads= about 154,000

What do we know about single mothers in terms of how they came to be single mothers, their median family incomes, and their creativity and resilience?

single mothers= more than 10 million

What is the new "good" dad?

takes financial responsibility and is actively involved

How are children with working mothers faring [also see: "Two-Earner Families and Children's Well-Being" (pp. 263-266]? How has parental time with children changed over time (also see Figure 10.4)?

the economic benefit to children of working mothers cannot be overlooked. Family income tends to be favorably associated with various child outcomes; mothers who are working part-time are better at balancing than those who work full time time spent with children has gone up for both mothers and fathers

• What is positive affect?

the expression, either verbal or nonverbal, of one's feelings of affection toward another

• How has women's participation in the workforce changed over the past 100+ years? (pp. 254-255)

the number of wage-earning women was rising the number of white women employment began to rise had help from the feminist movement many women with children now employed

• What is occupational segregation, and what are some examples of it? (also see Figure 10.3)

the tendency for men and women to be employed in different job types a large percentage of women working as office and sales workers

What factors are related to marital/relationship happiness in regard to work-family-related issues? How does "fairness" play a role (see also pp. 273-274)?

two kinds of changes are involved today's developing work-family interface: women are increasingly sharing the provider role, and men take more responsibility for unpaid household work both husbands and wives are significantly more likely to say that they are "very happy" when both feel that the housework is shared equitably

What does it mean to be a psychological parent?

typically thought of as the mother

Why is the transition to parenthood particularly difficult, according to Rossi?

with little experience, many first-time parents abruptly assume twenty-four hour duty, caring for a fragile dependent