INTER COM. WEEK 1

Apply the guidelines discussed in this chapter to assess communication competence in a particular interaction.

1. DEVELOP A RANGE OF SKILLS: No single style of communication is best in all circumstances, with all people, or for pursuing all goals. Because what is effective varies, we need to have a broad repertoire of communication behaviors. To comfort someone, we need to be soothing and compassionate. To negotiate a good deal on a car, we need to be assertive and firm. 2. ADAPT COMMUNICATION APPROPRIATELY: The ability to communicate in a range of ways doesn't make us competent unless we also know which kinds of communication to use in specific interactions. Pay attention to context. Scholars use the term person-centeredness to refer to the ability to adapt messages effectively to particular people. 3. ENGAGE IN DUAL PERSPECTIVE: dual perspective, which is understanding both our own and another person's perspective, beliefs, thoughts, or feelings. People who cannot engage in dual perspective are egocentric. Parents and teenagers often have issues understanding each other's perspectives. 4. MONITER YOUR COMMUNICATION: The fourth ability that affects interpersonal communication competence is monitoring, which is the capacity to observe and regulate your own communication. Some people don't notice how they are communicating with others. 5. COMMIT TO ETHICAL COMMUNICATION: This commitment requires that you invest energy in communicating ethically with others as unique human beings both face to face and on social media. Respect yourself, your feelings, and your ideas.

Name forms of communication that shape self-concept.

Direct Definition As the term implies, direct definition is communication that tells us explicitly who we are by labeling us and our behaviors. Reflected Appraisal Reflected appraisal is our perception of another's view of us. How we think others appraise us affects how we see ourselves. Social comparison is the process of assessing ourselves in relation to others to form judgments of our own talents, abilities, qualities, and so forth. One particularly powerful way in which direct definitions and reflected appraisals can affect our self-concept is through self-fulfilling prophecies, which occur when we internalize others' expectations or judgments about us and then behave in ways that are consistent with those expectations and judgments Identity Scripts Particular others also influence our identity by providing identity scripts, which are rules for living and identity (Berne, 1964; Harris, 1969). Attachment Styles Finally, particular others shape our identities through attachment styles, which are patterns of caregiving that teach us who we and others are and how to approach relationships.

Recognize examples of face presentation in a particular interaction.

FACE: We do this by presenting a face, which is the impression of self that we want others to accept when we are interacting in social situations. This involves what Goffman called impression management, which is how we use communication in an effort to persuade others to believe in the face we present.

List examples of the reciprocal relationship between your perceptions and social media.

First, our choices of social media shape our perceptions of events, issues, and people. Second, our cultural memberships influence the content of our digital and online communication. Third, think about the relationship between social media and our perceptions and expectations of time.

Give examples of the three types of relationships in Buber's view of communication.

I-IT: object/human. cashiers, homeless asking for money I-YOU: title/human. coworker communication I-THOU: most personal communication. family, friends, sig. others.

List the range of needs that people try to meet in a particular interaction.

PHYSICAL NEEDS: At the most basic level, humans need to survive, and communication helps us meet this need. SAFETY NEEDS: We also meet safety needs through communication. If your roof is leaking or if termites have invaded your apartment, you must talk with the property manager or owner to get the problem solved so that you have safe shelter. BELONGING NEEDS: All of us want to feel that we fit in our work and social groups. We want others' company, acceptance, and affirmation, and we want to give companionship, acceptance, and affirmation to others. SELF-ESTEEM NEEDS: We find self-esteem needs, which involve valuing and respecting ourselves and being valued and respected by others. ACTUALIZATION NEEDS: Defined self-actualization as fully developing and using our unique. Personal growth.

Identify factors that affect individuals' perceptions.

Physiology, Expectations, Age, Culture, Cognative Abilities, SElf.

Identify the key features that define interpersonal communication.

Selective: we choose how to communicate with certain people. Systemic: what you expect, what i say, how you interpret it.

Recognize eight principles behind effective interpersonal communication.

We cannot NOT communicate. Interpersonal communication is irreversible. Interpersonal communication involves ethical choices. People construct meanings by interpersonal communication. Metacommunication affects meanings. (metacommunication: communication about communication). Interpersonal communication develops and sustains relationships. Interpersonal communication is not a panacea (solution, cure). Interpersonal communication effectiveness can be learned.

Explain how the definition of interpersonal communication and its features apply to social media.

When we talk with people face to face (f2f), we are aware of their immediate physical context, which is not the case with much online and digital interaction. We may not know who else is present and what else is happening around a person we text. When the systems within which communication occurs are unknown to us, it's more difficult to interpret others. Also, because nonverbal communication is restricted online and especially digitally, we may miss out on meaning, particularly on the relationship level. Our definition of interpersonal communication also emphasizes process—changes in communication that happen over time. Think about how online and digital communication have evolved in the course of the past two decades. When email first emerged, most people treated it much like letter writing: An email started with "Dear" or "Hello" and ended with a closing such as "Thank you" or "Sincerely." As email became more popular and as all of us were flooded with email messages, the opening and closing courtesies largely disappeared.

Distinguish content and relationship levels of meaning.

content: the literal dictionary meaning of your words and phrases. relationship: 1D: responsiveness (nodding) 2D: liking/affection 3D: power/control

Recognize how perception is made up of means of selecting, organizing, and interpreting the world to create meaning.

selection: we choose what to focus on. organizing: we create prototypes (Prototypes A prototype defines the clearest or most representative example of some category) Prototypes, personal constructs, stereotypes, and scripts are cognitive schemata that we use to organize our perceptions of people and phenomena. These cognitive schemata reflect the perspectives of particular others and the generalized other. As we interact with people, we internalize our culture's ways of classifying, measuring, and predicting phenomena and its norms for acting in various situations. interpreting: ♦ Stable and specific: She yelled at Fred (specific) because she is short-tempered (stable). ♦ Stable and global: She yells at everyone (global) because she is short-tempered (stable). ♦ Unstable and specific: She yelled at Fred (specific) because she was in a hurry that day (unstable). ♦ Unstable and global: She yells at everyone (global) when she is in a hurry (unstable).

Apply the transactional model of interpersonal communication to a specific interaction.

transactional model is between two people and they have background information that goes through thier minnds and affects how they communicate.