NPLEX II - Botanical Mnemonics for me

Althaea officinalis

Al the giant marshmellow soothes all mucose memb (GI, UT, Ub, throat)

Camellia sinensis

Alice the camel had Green Tea for her fat hypertensive infected cancer px, she needed a pick me up

Artemisia absinthium

Art is absent from school b/c he has worms and is depressed; but he went bowling instead (with balls and pins)

Artemisia annula

Art's sweet mom Annie killed his parasites, malaria and Cancer safely so he didn't have to miss school

Asclepius tuberosa root

Asclep... shorry, im sho congeshted with this stupid chest cold/ tubercular on my chest

Coleus forskohlii

COOL! F****, you cured my HT, CVD, hypoth and asthmatic obese px w an AC activator

Corydalis spp

CORY from DALIS is a hypnotist that avoids NSAIDS to help w pain

Cassia spp

Cassie was anorexic from taking all those laxatives/ cathartics, her poop is red but don't worry, she can still BR feed (he's AQ G- a cute G)- like Aloe/ Rhamnos

Chelidonium majus

Cholagogue; chu chu stops your majisty from getting stones and warts

Fucus vesiculosis

Fuc swimming, I want to eat this seaweed and make a body wrap for my RA

Hyoscyamus niger

HYO NIGER..it's anti-musc, I'll stop your crying and GU pain. Just like Bella and Datura, but MOST TOXIC

Hamamelis virginiana

Hamant likes virgin witches; he put's it in to stop diarrhea and bleeding from the bum and legs

Achillea millefolium

I'll Kill and stab you (bleed, skin wound); am I making you sweat with my bitterness? "Hit with a Yarrow"

Datura stramonium

I'm DATURA, I'm a bad ass smokering body guard. I'll block any musc... wheeze I need a massage (muscAchrec= PNS)

Juniperus communis

June is a great for peeing in the pool and oiling your skin and jts after a big flavorful picnic

Larrea tridentata

Lara did a herbal TRI in her kids snot (allergies) and ended up getting herpes, ixn and CA

Curcuma longa

Lv, CA, stones, pain and inflam.. It does it all

Arnica montana

bruises, strain, sprain but also small wounds to help heal and for the pain

Cinnamomum zeylanicum

cinnamon to lower lipids, styptic, digestive stim and anti-H. pylori

Atropa belladonna

dilates those bella eyes for an SNS rxn to relax your spasms w pain from Parkinsons and GERD. Datura and Hyos are also TAs for blocking musc

Aspidosperma quebracho

eww.. Don't swallow that wet sperm, cough it up... you don't want to get pregnant

Leonurus cardiaca

female lion after sex. Needs to rest her heart, uterus, mind, and feed her bitter stomach

Grindelia robusta

grindelia the robot had a spasmodic cough in her chest

Lycopus virginicus

gross, don't LYC my PUS! Get up here and suppress my thyroid and gonadotropins... but I'm infertile and want a kid :(

Artemisia vulgaris

he grew up to be a VULGAR ARTist, you're bitter and anorexic. Don't be constipated, there isn't enough to be sad about.. Amen

Calendula officinalis

heals from mouth to prostate to skin

Crataegus oxyacantha/ laevigata

heart attack herb

Humulus lupulus

hops in beer is bitter and makes you sleepy along w it's estrogen effects

Astragalus membranaceus

imm mod of ixn (Ht), CA, AI and Astrange fxn of male infert

Caulophylum thalictroides

is that CAULiflower coming out? No, it's just a prolaps and late baby.. Come on little guy

Leptandra virginica

lepers are bitter b/c they have hepatitis and no stomach acid, (that's why their skin is so bad)

Linum usitatissiumum

line up for the bathroom. flax to soothe (Lu, skin) your hormones, blood clot, cholesterol, uterus

Lomatium dissectum

lomatium is an A-viral, esp for kids!

Matricaria recutita

mama chamomile help if you're scared, sick with GI ixn or scrape your knee (calms you down; skin, GI, mind, mm)

Melissa officinialis

melissa is hyper wiTH herpes on the skin which causes her an upset stomach

Hydrastis canadensis

mucous king kills H.pylori, parasites and tumors

Commiphora mukul

muu cow is fat, inflammed w nodular cysts.. Don't feed her to bleeding preg hyperTh & IBD px's

Geranium maculatum

my german sheppard licked my wound and stopped it from bleeding and diarrhea?? Eww

Ligusticum porteri

my linguini w portebellos have bugs in them and the sauce is all sticky, this is supposed to help my angina? But instead I got a whole body rash, furious

Gymnema sylvestre

numbs you so you don't eat--> no fat, no weight, no DM

Avena sativa

oats for relaxing your worries about being fat

Olea europea

olive oil for HT, viruses, A-ox and gut tone

Aloe vera gel

on top for hot/ cold wounds, and in your belly and bladder to help soothe and heal

Allium cepa/ sativum

onion and garlic fighters of CV, DM, microb, parasite and topical ixns; don't take it if your bleeding cuz it'll burn

Berberis vulgaris

vulgar cold-hearted parasite "berber" makes your bile go bitter (liver) and stomach churn

Hydrangea arborescens

water drips down the knots in a hydrangea root which look like balls and stones

Angelica sinensis

what an angel to tone my poor uterus and deliver my baby; don't give to bleeding men..

Bryonia spp

when brian "smokes herb" and plays the ovarian (organ) he stops pain and ifxn (it can make you dizzy and sick how good he is.. You're healed! hallelua)

Juglans nigra

black walnut to kill those parasites in Samaya's abd

Euphrasia officinalis/ stricta

bright eyes for watering, inflamed allergies

Chionanthus virginicus

virgin w/out HPV, or gallstones CHolagogue

Centella asiatica

100yo asian lady in a wheel chair w edema, heart ixn, scars, dementia

Cynara scolymus

Cyanara lipids; bring back the HCl

Ginkgo biloba

Dr. GO was the KING (men) of insuff blood to the heart and brain, cancer and COPD

Eschscholzia californica

ESCape to CALI your nervous pain will disappear

Eucalyptus

EU.. Cill those throat bugs and soothe my pain

Echinacea angustifolia, pallida, purpurea spp

Echinacea is know for ixns of all kinds (Ht, Lu, vag, skin, HIV) and CA

Eleutherococcus senticosus

El adaptogen and imm mod, A-ox

Foeniculum vulgare

FOEtus and mom w upset st, crazy estrogen, I want milk

Gelsemium sempervirens

Herbal Gels was used to give birth in the middle of the night... ouch, to help speed labor and for pain

Hypericum perforatum

Hyper St. John was depressed about his CA, HIV, and other ixns (leaf w wholes to let light through)

Cineraria maritima

I cant see the cinema with my cataracts

Ligustrum lucidum

I had a lucid dream Luigi cured by ixn and CA.. "It's not a meatball"

Glycyrrhiza glabra

I need it for my Lv, hormones, lowBP, low cortisol, ixn, GI (H.pylori, PUD, UTI, IBD) and to prevent CA, Lu and Ht cond.. Watch out K down

Dioscorea villosa

Im dying to score but I have PMS and spasm pains (early labor, jt, mm)

Iris versicolor

Initiate bile, Reduce painful jt/ mm, Inflam'n of lv and skin gone, Stim GIT

Digitalis purpurea

MJ (foxglove cardiac glycoside) having CHF and palp of his heart. He's anorexic, tired, seeing halos (lights), low libido w male features; he needs electrolytes for his liver

Medicago sativa

Medical alfalfa for WOMEN... makes you go LUPy

Mitchella repens

Mitchel was amazing at conception and helping with his wife's labor (don't give too early) "Mitchella Repens the Uterus"

Arctium lappa

Pimply plant in the arctic is bitter and protective of her Lv

Ganoderma lucidum

Reishi mushroom helps all; imm, allergy, CA, bact, ox, sleep, LV

Momordica charantia

bitter momo soup cured DM and killed those dry bugs in your throat, GI and skin

Commiphora myrrha/ molmol

a mole mole ixn on your vagina? Nope, it's everywhere

Inula helenium

a parasite IN U LA.. Cough cough.. Get it out!

Aesculus hippocastanum

a swollen horse and hippo that doesn't move; don't eat it raw

Aconitum napellus

after his success, Acon started doing herbs and had to wear a hood to hide from his female fans who were such a pain in his last nerve

Ceanothus americanus

american Cean was an alcoholic and had lazy lymph (fatty lv)

Chamaelirium luteum

baby cham is an Angel, toning the uterus to ready itself for labor "Chamaelirium tonifies the corpus luteum "

Lobelia inflata

birthing breaths: inflate and tone those wet lobes, relax your mm, you will pass your baby now

Eupatorium perfoliatum

perfect, set my ribs after tx my snotty flu

Eupatorium purpureum

purple gravel can hurt your liver... EU... PA

Actaea racemosa

relax spaz.. We're just ACTing a RACist old woman in labor and pain

Mentha x piperita

spicy mint to help digestion and kill the pain

Berberis aquifolium

swimming in cold "ber...ber" kill microbs, CA and skin cond but makes you bitter (alters your Lv)

Melaleuca alternifolia

tea tree oil to kill microbs esp fungus topically

Galium aparine

that gal is like a horse (equisetum) with the acne and UTI

Boswellia serrata

the Boss helps with deflate every organ/ jt

Harpagophytum procumbens

the bitter devil played the harp to relieve pain of the hands

Gentian lutea

the bitter gentleman made my bile go but he did have a tone liver

Ephedra sinica

the decongestant (like the drug pseudoephredrine/ oxymetazoline) a/b agonist to SNS ... Oxygen met my congested nose... I can breath and RUN in the grass w/o peeing so I can lose wt

Equisetum arvense

the equestrian horse also had a UTI and needed help getting rid of the ixn and stones

Capsella bursa-pastoris

the hemorrhaging capselle burst open

Baptisia tinctoria

the herbal baptist tx phlegmy women (w big boobs) but was against them getting addicted or preg

Aloe vera latex

the latex gloved aloe was a major cathartic, and so is Cassie when she Rhams it up there

Convallaria majalis

the major Con was having CHF, check his electrolytes K he might be lethal... "I see a halo" oh no

Capsicum frutescens/ annuum

the spicy capsicum numbed the nerve/ skin pain and stimulated digestion (incr St acid) while thinning your blood

Cannibus sativa

the stressed HT CA patient smoked a joint to ease his pain and got the munchies

Cordyceps sinensis

ugghhh, get your puffer and Abx! it's a SIN to wear CORDS so tight that it causes CA and impotence... protect your boner (marrow) and blood

Arrctostaphylus uva ursi

uva ursi for short term UTI but needs alkaline pee