PSYC 2600 Ch. 10: Interpersonal Attraction

In short, to predict whether people will stay in an intimate relationship, we need to know:

(1) how satisfied they are with the relationship (2) what they think of their alternatives (3) how great their investment in the relationship is

In a study of the patterns of students' friendships that focused on the effects of "*tracking*"...

"tracking" (grouping students by academic ability), researchers found that students were significantly more likely to choose friends from inside their track than from outside it.

Just how powerful is reciprocal liking?

According to recent research, powerful enough to neutralize our basic tendency to pay more attention to attractive faces.

Ainsworth and her colleagues (1978) identified three types of relationships between infants and their caregivers. They did so by creating a situation in which a caregiver briefly left his or her infant in an unfamiliar room with a stranger before returning. The infant's reactions upon separation and reunion with the parent were observed.

1. secure attachment style 2. avoidant attachment style 3. anxious/ambivalent attachment style

halo effect

A cognitive bias by which we tend to assume that an individual with one positive characteristic also possesses other (even unrelated) positive characteristics.

OPINIONS AND PERSONALITY

A large body of research indicates that the more similar someone's opinions are to yours, the more you will like the person.

The investment model of commitment: *comparison level"

A person's comparison level is his or her general expectation of what they should get out of a relationship. Someone who has high expectations for how rewarding a relationship should be has a high comparison level.

karma

According to the traditional Chinese Buddhist belief in *karma*, fate determines what happens in a relationship. The romantic partners have little control over this process. If a relationship is not working, it cannot be saved; one must accept fate and the suffering that accompanies it.

Cross-cultural research indicates that American couples vs. Chinese couples

American couples tend to value passionate love more than Chinese couples do, and Chinese couples tend to value companionate love more than American couples do. In comparison, the Taita of Kenya, in East Africa, value both equally; they conceptualize romantic love as a combination of companionate and passionate love. The Taita consider this the best kind of love, and achieving it is a primary goal in their society.

anxious/ambivalent attachment style

An attachment style characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one's desire for intimacy, resulting in higher-than-average levels of anxiety. Infants with an *anxious/ambivalent attachment style* seem distressed even before the parents leaves the room and can be difficult to soothe even upon the parent's return, their response often a mixture of anger and indifference. These infants are unusually anxious, sometimes owing to an inability to predict when and how their caregivers will respond to their needs.

avoidant attachment style

An attachment style characterized by difficulty developing intimate relationships because previous attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed. Infants with an *avoidant attachment style* do not react much at their parent's departure or return. They desire to be close to their caregiver but learn to suppress this need, as if they know that such attempts will be rejected, sometimes by a caregiver who is aloof, distant, or busy.

secure attachment style

An attachment style characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned, and the view that one is worthy and well liked Infants with a *secure attachment style* cry and show signs of distress when their parent leaves the room and are quite happy when he or she returns. These infants tend to trust their caregivers, show positive emotions when interacting with them, and are not particularly worried about abandonment.

passionate love

An intense longing we feel for a person accompanied by physiological arousal--the feeling of shortness of breath and a thumping heart in someone's presence.

How have new technologies shaped attraction and social connections? (10.2)

As amazing as the technologies are, mobile devices like smartphones can also impair our feelings of social connectedness to others during the course of face-to-face interaction.

In short, online dating offers users a much larger pool of potential mates than do more traditional methods that are constrained by personal contacts and physical geography.

At the same time, in some important respects, dating sites and apps sometimes fall short of the promises they make to users.

But not all respondents showed this bias to stare a bit longer at attractive faces. Who was able to break the spell of the pretty face?

Basking in the glow of reciprocated liking is enough to stop a wandering eye and convince you, at least for a while, that the grass may not be greener on the other side. And more generally, few factors are stronger predictors of being attracted to someone than finding out that the person is attracted to you.

The Promise and Pitfalls of Online Dating

Dating Web sites advertise three primary services: (1) aggregating a large number of profiles for browsing (2) providing opportunity for communication with potential mates (3) matching users based on analyses of compatibility

Defining Love: Companionship and Passion

Despite the difficulties inherent in to studying close relationships, social psychologists have made interesting discoveries about the nature of love, how it develops, and how it flourishes.

GENETICS

People also tend to be drawn toward others who are genetically similar to them. That is, friends tend to have more similar DNA than do strangers.

To test this investment model of commitment, *Rusbult (1983)* asked college students involved in heterosexual dating relationships to fill out questionnaires over the course of 7 months.

Every 3 weeks, people answered questions about each of the components of the model shown in Figure 10.1. Rusbult also kept track of whether the students stayed in the relationships or broke up. As you can see in Figure 10.2, satisfaction, alternatives, and investments all predicted how committed people were to the relationship and whether it lasted. (The higher the number on the scale, the more each factor predicted the commitment to and length of the relationship.) Subsequent studies have found results similar to those shown in Figure 10.2 for married couples of diverse ages, lesbian and gay couples, nonsexual friendships, and residents of both the U.S. and Taiwan.

EVOLUTION AND SEX DIFFERENCES

Evolutionary psychology also makes some particularly interesting (and controversial) predictions regarding sex differences in mate preference. Females: reproduction is costly in terms of time, energy and effort: They must endure the discomforts of pregnancy, the risks of childbirth, and, traditionally, theirs is the primary responsibility for caring for the infant until maturity. Reproducing, then, is serious business, so females, the theory goes, must consider carefully when and with whom to reproduce. Males: Reproduction is low-cost, short-term investment.

Social exchange theory has received a great deal of empirical support.

Friends and romantic couples often do pay attention to the costs and rewards in their relationships, and perceptions predict how positively people feel about the status of the relationship. Generally speaking, when relationships are seen as offering a lot of rewards, people report feeling happy and satisfied.

Gangestad (1993) tested the hypothesis that in many societies women need to rely on men to achieve economic security.

Gangestad correlated the extent to which women in several countries had access to financial resources and the extent to which women reported male physical attractiveness as an important variable in a mate. His results revealed that the more economic power women had in a given culture, the more highly women prioritized a man's physical attractiveness.

Buss & his colleagues asked more than 9 thousand adults in 37 countries how desirable various characteristics were in a marriage partner.

In general, women valued ambition, industriousness, and earning capacity in a potential mate more than the men did. The men valued physical attractiveness in a mate more than the women did. However, the top characteristics on both men's and women's lists were the same: honesty, trustworthiness, and a pleasant personality.

In comparison, longer-term interactions between close friends, family members, and romantic partners are governed less by an equity norm and more by a desire to help each other as needed.

In these communal relationships, people give in response to the other's needs, regardless of whether they get paid back. In this manner, communal interactions are the hallmark of long-term, intimate relationships. Research comparing heterosexual couples to same-sex couples has found that they are equally committed to communal in their relationships: if anything, gay men and lesbians report greater compatibility and less conflict than heterosexual couples do.

Theories of Relationship Satisfaction: Social Exchange and Equity

It is pleasing to have our attitudes validated; thus, the more similar a person's attitudes are to ours, the more rewarded we are by spending time together. It is rewarding to be around someone who likes us, particularly when that person is physically attractive. The more social rewards (and the fewer costs) a person provides us with, the more we like the person. If a relationship costs (e.g., in terms of emotional turmoil) far more than it gives (e.g., in terms of validation or praise), chances are that it will not last.

The investment model of commitment: *Stability of relationship*

Low commitment leads to an unstable relationship and an increased likelihood of breaking up. The more committed partners are, the more stable their relationship tend to be.

Toma, Hancock, & Ellison (2008)

Men and women were equally likely to try to stretch the truth. Participants' self-reported estimates of their profile accuracy were reasonably good predictors of actual accuracy, indicating that the discrepancies observed did not result from unconscious tendencies to view the self through rose-colored glasses, but rather intentional efforts to fudge facts.

Are people in communal relationships completely unconcerned with equity?

Not necessarily. As we saw earlier, people do feel distressed if they believe their intimate relationships are equitable; however, equity takes on a somewhat different form in communal relationships than it does in less intimate ones. In communal relationships, the partners are more relaxed about what constitutes equity at any given time, believing that things will eventually balance out and a rough kind of equity will be achieved over the long run. If this doesn't happen--if they continue to feel that there is an imbalance--the relationship may ultimately end.

comparison level

People's expectations about the level of rewards and costs they are likely to receive in a particular relationship. Over time, you have amassed a long history of relationships with others, and this history has led you to have certain expectations as to what your current and future relationships should be like. Some people have a high comparison level, expecting lots of rewards and few costs in their relationships. If a given relationship doesn't match this lofty expected comparison level, they quickly will grow unhappy and unsatisfied. In contrast, people who have a low comparison level would be happy in the same relationship because they expect their relationships to be difficult and costly.

comparison level for alternatives

People's expectations about the level of rewards and costs they would receive in an alternative relationship. People who have a high comparison level for alternatives--either because they believe the world is full of fabulous people dying to meet them or because they know of one particular fabulous person dying to meet them--are more likely to take the plunge, change things up, and hit the market for a new friend or lover. People with a low comparison level for alternatives will be more likely to stay in a costly relationship, b/c, in their mind, what they have may not be great, but it's better than what they expect they could find elsewhere.

The investment model of commitment: *satisfaction with relationship*

People's satisfaction with a relationship is based on their assessment of rewards and costs and whether this outcome exceeds their general comparison level.

Badr & Abdallah (2001)

Rated the facial physical attractiveness and health status of premature infants born in hospitals in Beirut, Lebanon. They found that physical attractiveness significantly predicted the health outcomes of these infants above and beyond factors such as their medical condition. The more attractive the infant, the more quickly he or she gained weight and the shorter his or her stay in the hospital. Neonatal nurses responded more to the "prettier" infants and gave them better care.

The investment model of commitment: *costs*

Relationships can include potential costs as well, however, such as the time, effort, financial resource, and emotional energy exerted to make the relationship "work."

exchange relationships

Relationships governed by the need for equity (i.e., for an equal ratio of rewards and costs)

communal relationships

Relationships in which people's primary concern is being responsive to the other person's needs

The investment model of commitment: *Commitment to relationship*

Research indicates that commitment to a relationship depends on satisfaction, investment, and quality of alternatives. For example, a woman who feels her relationship has more costs and fewer rewards than she would like would have low satisfaction. If she also felt she had little invested in the relationship and an attractive person just asked her for a date, she would also have a low level of commitment.

Many people do not leave their partners even when they are dissatisfied and their other alternatives look bright.

Research indicates that we need to consider at least one additional factor to understand close relationships: a person's level of investment in the relationship.

When researchers correlate adults' responses to questions about attachment style with their answers to questions about their current relationships, they find results consistent with an attachment theory perspective.

Securely attached individuals tend to have the most enduring romantic relationships of the three attachment types. They experience the highest level of commitment to relationships as well as the highest level of satisfaction with their relationships. The anxious/ambivalently attached individuals have the most short-lived romantic relationships. They enter into relationships the most quickly, often before they know their partner well. One study conducted at a marriage license bureau found that anxious men acquired marriage licenses after a shorter courtship than did either secure or avoidant men. They are also the most upset and angriest of the three types when their love is not reciprocated. The third group, avoidant individuals, is the least likely to enter into a relationship and the most likely to report never having been in love. They maintain their emotional distance and have the lowest level of commitment to their relationships of the three types.

Partners in a relationship are keeping track of who is benefitting how much and who is getting shortchanged.

Some might suggest that many people in happy relationships don't spend so much time and energy keeping tabs on contributions and benefits in this manner. Indeed, the more we get to know someone, the more reluctant we are to believe that we are simply exchanging favors or expecting immediate compensation for every kind gesture.

EQUITY THEORY

Some researchers have criticized social exchange theory for ignoring an essential variable in relationships--the notion of fairness, or equity. Proponents of *equity theory* argue that people don't engage in relationships the way they do board games, doing anything they can to end up with the most reward in the bank. We are also concerned about equity or the idea that the rewards and costs we experience should be roughly equal to those of the other person involved. Indeed, these theorists describe equitable relationships as the happiest and most stable, whereas, inequitable relationships result in one person feeling overbenefited (getting a lot of rewards, incurring few costs, having to devote little time or energy to the relationship) and the other feeling underbenefited (getting few rewards, incurring a lot of costs, having to devote a lot of time and energy to the relationship).

Attachment theory does not suggest that people who had unhappy relationships with their parents are doomed to repeat this same kind of unhappy relationship with everyone they ever meet, or that secure attachment as an infant guarantees a healthy adult love life.

Some researchers have recontacted their research participants months or years after their original studies and asked them to take the attachment-style scale again. They have found that 25% to 30% of participants change from one attachment style to another. People can and do change; their experiences in relationships can help them learn new ways of relating to others than what they experienced as children. Moreover, other research suggests that, at any given time, the attachment style that people display is the one that is called into play by their partner's behavior and the type of relationship that they've created as a couple. Thus, people can respond to situational variables in their relationships, displaying a more secure attachment style in one relationship and a more anxious one in another, or evolving in their attachment style within one relationship as time goes by.

Finkel and Eastwick's (2009) results suggest:

That the sex differences in mate selectivity do not simply reflect evolution or biology, but also attributable to the established dating paradigm in most societies, in which men are the approachers and women the approachees. Being approached gives you control in the world of dating, regardless of sex or gender; being approached also means feeling in demand and having options. And so it is that, as with many aspects of human nature, we need both "nature" and "nurture" explanations to fully understand the psychology of attraction and mate selection.

Ending Intimate Relationships 10.4 What does research demonstrate about romantic relationships?

The American divorce rate is nearly 50% and has been for the past few decades. The majority of separations and divorces occur around the fourth ye

Specifically, prior research has found that the VTA becomes active when we engage in rewarding behaviors, such as, for example, when people ingest cocaine.

The VTA, rich in the neurotransmitter dopamine, also fires when people eat chocolate. Thus, the VTA and the caudate nucleus constitute a major reward and motivation center of the brain. For example, fMRI studies of gamblers' brains as they gamble show greatly increased activity in these dopamine-rich areas when they win--a rewarding and motivating event. Thus, when people say that falling in love is "addictive," "like a drug," or "like winning the lottery," they're right. All these experiences predict greater activation in the same areas of the brain: dopamine-rich centers of pleasure, reward, and motivation.

evolutionary psychology

The attempt to explain social behavior in terms of genetic factors that have evolved over time according to the principles of natural selection For example, as detailed earlier, one explanation for people's tendency to find symmetrical faces more attractive is that symmetry indicates positive health and "good genes."

The investment model of commitment: *quality of alternatives to relationship*

The feeling that you have other, attractive alternative relationship options on the horizon tends to make you feel committed to your current relationship.

equity theory

The idea that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs experienced by both parties are roughly equal

social exchange theory

The idea that people's feelings about a relationship depend on their perceptions of its reward and costs, the kind of relationship they deserve, and their chances for having a better relationship with someone else In essence, we "buy" the best relationship we can get--one that gives us the most value for our emotional dollar based on the options on the table. The basic concepts of social exchange theory are reward, cost, outcome, and comparison level.

The investment model of commitment: *level of investment in relationship*

The more invested people feel in a relationship, the more likely they are to remain in it.

Your social life likely has more to do with floor plans than you think!

The physical layout of a building can play a surprising role in relationship formation. Research indicates that in a residential building, the closer two people's apartments are, the more likely they are to become friends. And those residents who live near the stairs or elevator are more likely to make friends with people who live on other floors of the building.

The investment model of commitment: *rewards*

The potential rewards of a relationship include feeling good about oneself, spending time together engaged in fun activities, and having our own attitudes and needs validated.

investment model

The theory that people's commitment to relationship depends not only on their satisfaction with the relationship, but also on how much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by ending it

The key assumption of attachment theory is that the particular attachment style we learn in infancy becomes our working model or schema for what all relationships are like.

These early relationship schemas typically stay with us throughout life and generalize to adult relationships with other people. Thus, people who as children had a secure relationship with their parents or caregivers are better able to develop mature, lasting relationships as adults; people who had avoidant relationships with their parents are less able to trust others and find it difficult to develop close, intimate relationships; and people who had anxious/ambivalent relationships with their parents want to become close to their adult partners but often worry that their partners will not return their affections. This has been borne out in numerous studies using questionnaires to measure adults' attachment styles and analyzing correlations between attachment style and the quality of their adult romantic relationships.

Rewards are the gratifying aspects of a relationship that make it worthwhile and reinforcing.

They include kinds of personal characteristics and behaviors of our relationship partner that we have already discussed, and our ability to acquire external resources by virtue of knowing this person (e.g., gaining access to money, status, activities, and other interesting people). For example, in Brazil, friendship is openly used as an exchange value. Brazilians will readily admit that they need a *pistolão* (literally, a big, powerful handgun), meaning that they ned a person who will use personal connections to help them get what they want. Costs, are obviously, the other side of the coin, and all friendships and romantic relationships have some costs attached, such as putting up with those annoying habits and characteristics of the other person. The outcome of the relationship is a direct comparison of its rewards and costs; you can think of it as a mathematical formula where outcome equals rewards minus costs. If you come up with a negative number, your relationship is not in good shape.

According to equity theory, both underbenefited and overbenefited partners should feel uneasy about this state of affairs, and both should be motivated to restore equity to the relationship.

This makes sense for the underbenefited person--after all, who wants to feel miserable and unappreciated? But why should the overbenefited individual want to give up what social exchange theory indicates is a cushy deal, lots of rewards for little cost and little work? Theorists argue that equity is a powerful social norm and that people will eventually feel uncomfortable and guilty if they keep getting more than they deserve in a relationship. Still, being overbenefited isn't as bad as being underbenefited, and research has indicated that inequity is perceived as more of a problem by the underbenefited individual.

Figure 10.2: A Test of the Investment Model

This study examined the extent to which college students' satisfaction with a relationship, their comparison level for alternatives, and their investment in the relationship predicted their commitment to the relationship and their decision about whether to break up with their partner. The higher the number, the more each variable predicted commitment and breakup, independent of the two other variables. All three variables were good predictors of how committed people were and whether or not they broke up.

Does the same model hold for destructive relationships?

To find out, Rusbult and a colleague interviewed women who had sought refuge at a shelter for victims of domestic abuse, asking them about their abusive romantic relationships. Why had these women stayed in these relationships, even to the point where some of them returned to an abusive partner after leaving the shelter? As the theory predicts, feelings of commitment to the abusive relationship were greater among women who had poorer economic alternatives to the relationship or were more heavily invested in the relationship. In long-term relationships, then, commitment is based on more than just the amount of rewards and costs a partner elicits; it also depends on people's perceptions of their investments in, satisfaction with, and alternatives to the relationship.

This Is Your Brain...in Love A team of researchers recruited college students in the greater NY area who described themselves as currently being "intensely in love" (Aron et. al., 2005)

Two specific areas, deep within the brain, showed evidence of increased activation when participants looked at the photograph of their acquaintance (or when they engaged in the math task). Furthermore, those participants who self-reported higher levels of romantic love showed greater activation in these areas when looking at their beloved than those who reported lower levels. These two brain areas were the *ventral tegmental area (VTA) and the *caudate nucleus*, which communicate with each other as part of a circuit. A great deal is already known about what causes these areas of the brain to fire and what kind of processing they do--and now, this knowledge can be applied to the experience of passionate love. Falling in love predicts increased activation in a reward center of the brain that is also activated by eating chocolate.

The concept of romantic love is culturally specific.

We all love, but we do not necessarily all love in the same way--or at least we don't describe it in the same way.

Reciprocal Liking

We like to be liked. Just knowing that a person likes us fuels our attraction to that individual. Liking is so powerful that it can even make up for the absence of similarity. Whether the clues are nonverbal or verbal, perhaps the most crucial determinant of whether we will like person A is the extent to which we believe person A likes us.

WHAT IS ATTRACTIVE?

We often share criteria for defining beauty. Cunningham (1986) designed a creative study to determine these standards of beauty. He asked college men to rate the attractiveness of 50 photographs of women, taken from a college yearbook and from an international beauty-pageant program. He then carefully measured the relative size of the facial features in each photograph. He found that high attractiveness ratings for female faces were associated with large eyes, a small nose, a small chin, prominent cheekbones, high eyebrows, large pupils, and a big smile. Researchers then examined women's ratings of male beauty in the same way. They found that male faces with large eyes, prominent cheekbones, a large chin, and a big smile received higher attractiveness ratings.

Romantic love is nearly universal in the human species, but cultural rules alter how that emotional state is experienced, expressed, and remembered. Shuangyue Zhang and Susan Kline (2009) found two major differences in American and Chinese dating couples' decisions to marry.

When describing how they would decide whether or not to marry their partners, Chinese students placed a heavier emphasis on two concepts central to their collectivistic culture: *xiao* (the obedience and devotion shown by children to their parents) and *guanxi* (relationships as a network of connections). In contrast, American students placed importance on receiving support, care, and "living a better life."

How do people decide whom they like and want to get to know better?

When social psychologist Ellen Berscheid asked people of various ages what made them happy, at or near the top of their lists were making friends and having positive, warm relationships. The absence of meaningful relationships with other people makes people feel lonely, worthless, hopeless, helpless, and powerless.

When things are going well vs. not well

When things are going well (the other person loves us too), we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy. When things are not going well (our live is unrequited), we feel great sadness and despair.

Similarity

a match between our interests, attitudes, values, background, or personality and those of another person "Birds of a feather flock together"

After a break-up, which of the following individuals is most likely to want to remain friends? a. Betty, a female who was a breakee (i.e., her partner initiated the break-up) b. Fred, a male who initiated his break-up c. Barney, a male who was a breakee (i.e., his partner initiated the break-up) d. Wilma, a female who was involved in a mutual break-up

a. Betty, a female who was a breakee (i.e., her partner initiated the break-up)

Marquel and Eric have been friends since the beginning of the school year. According to equity theory, their friendship will suffer if a. Eric is much more likely to help Marquel out when he needs it than Marquel is to help Eric. b. Eric and Marquel are romantically interested in the same person. c. Eric and Marquel stop having similar interests. d. Eric has a "makeover" and suddenly becomes far more attractive than Marquel.

a. Eric is much more likely to help Marquel out when he needs it than Marquel is to help Eric.

Which of the following is an example of an intrapersonal stage to relationship dissolution? a. One member of the couple discusses the potential breakup with the other person b. One member of the couple thinks a lot about his or her relationship dissatisfaction c. The breakup is announced to other people d. The couple decides to get back together

a. One member of the couple discusses the potential breakup with the other person

Which of the following is false? a. People in communal relationships tend to keep track of who is contributing what to the relationship. b. People find "average" faces to be more attractive than unusual faces. c. People like others who like them. d. The more we see and interact with people, the more we will like them.

a. People in communal relationships tend to keep track of who is contributing what to the relationship.

Which of the following statements regarding attachment style is true? a. The attachment style that adults display is shaped by their partner's behavior and the type of relationship they've created as a couple. b. Few if any individuals change their attachment style once they reach adulthood. c. A majority of adults have been found to exhibit an avoidant attachment style. d. Your attachment style as an infant typically has little to do with the attachment style you have in your adult relationships.

a. The attachment style that adults display is shaped by their partner's behavior and the type of relationship they've created as a couple.

Which of the following findings regarding gender differences and breakups in heterosexual relationships is true? a. Women tend to be more likely than men to want to remain friends after a break-up. b. Men tend to be more likely to display contempt and sarcasm during a break-up. c. Men tend to be more likely to be breakers than breakees. d. Women tend to be more likely than men to initiate a relationship break-up.

a. Women tend to be more likely than men to want to remain friends after a break-up.

Which attachment style below is best captured by the following sentiment: "I am uncomfortable being close to others and find it difficult to trust people completely. I am nervous when anyone gets close, and often my partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being." a. avoidant attachment style b. exchange attachment style c. secure attachment style d. anxious/ambivalent attachment style

a. avoidant attachment style

You are considering breaking up with your significant other after 1 month of being a couple. While the relationship gives you lots of rewards and has few costs, you have recently met someone new whom you anticipate will give you even more rewards for even fewer costs. Your dilemma stems from the fact that you have a ____ and a ____. a. high comparison level; high comparison level for alternatives b. low comparison level; low comparison level for alternatives c. high comparison level; low equity level d. low comparison level; high comparison level for alternatives

a. high comparison level; high comparison level for alternatives

The regions of the brain that exhibit signs of increased activity when someone thinks about feelings of romantic love are the same regions that exhibit signs of increased activity when a person: a. ingests cocaine b. is anxious about being the focus of attention c. cries d. sleeps

a. ingests cocaine

"I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away."

anxious style

In her *investment model* of close relationships, Caryl Rusbult (1983) defines *investment* as:

anything people have put into a relationship that will be lost if they leave it. Ex. tangible things, such as financial resources, possessions, and property, as well as intangible things, such as the emotional welfare of one's children, the time and emotional energy spent building the relationship, and the sense of personal integrity that will be lost if one gets divorced. The greater the investment individuals have in a relationship, the less likely they are to leave, even when satisfaction is low and other alternatives look promising.

"I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets close, and often loves partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being."

avoidant style

Which of the following is *not* one of the cross-cultural research findings about love and relationships reported in this chapter? a. Romantic love seems universal among humans, even as culture shapes how that emotional state is experienced and expressed. b. Divorce rates are higher for arranged marriages than they are for marriages in which the individuals find their own spouse. c. As indicated by the concept of *yuan*, Chinese are more likely to believe that relationship outcomes are determined by fate than are Americans. d. Unlike in the U.S. where it is conventional for married couples to live together, in many areas of West Africa, married couples live apart, prioritizing the connection with extended family over that with a spouse.

b. Divorce rates are higher for arranged marriages than they are for marriages in which the individuals find their own spouse.

____ involves intense longing for another person, accompanied by physiological arousal. a. Communal love b. Passionate love c. Companionate love d. Exchange love

b. Passionate love

Although her boyfriend treats her well, he always put her needs first, and doesn't demand much in the way of relationship effort from her, Courtney feels unsatisfied with the relationship because a little voice in her head keeps telling her there must be an even better mate out there for her somewhere. Courtney seems to have: a. a low comparison level b. a high comparison level c. a high sense of investment d. a low comparison level for alternatives

b. a high comparison level

Equity theory suggests that if a relationship is not equitable a. the overbenefited individual will still be satisfied with it b. both the underbenefited and the overbenefited individuals will be unsatisfied with it c. it will transition from a communal relationship to an exchange relationship d. both the underbenefited and the overbenefited individuals will still be satisfied with it

b. both the underbenefited and the overbenefited individuals will be unsatisfied with it

Whereas ____ love is characterized by feelings of intimacy and affection, ____ love tends to include intense longing and physiological arousal. a. tranquil; sexual b. companionate; passionate c. empty; erotic d. platonic; romantic

b. companionate; passionate

Which of the following is a benefit of online dating? a. with online dating, there's no such thing as potential mates feeling "out of your league" b. the ability to achieve propinquity with a wider range of people c. people tend to be more honest about themselves online d. mathematical formulas that are highly effective at creating compatibility matches

b. the ability to achieve propinquity with a wider range of people

Research on "fatal attractions" suggests that a. so-called "mutual" break-ups are often the most emotionally disruptive type of relationship dissolution b. the same qualities that first draw us to a person can, with time, become qualities that contribute to breaking up c. constructive behaviors help a relationship more than destructive behaviors harm it d. heterosexual couples are more likely than homosexual couples to remain friends after a break-up

b. the same qualities that first draw us to a person can, with time, become qualities that contribute to breaking up

Elliot worries that his girlfriend doesn't really love him and he smothers her with attention. According to attachment theory, Elliot probably has a(n) ______ attachment style, because when he was an infant, his caregivers were _____. a. avoidant; aloof and distant b. communal; smothering but very open c. anxious/ambivalent; inconsistent and overbearing d. secure; responsive to his needs

c. anxious/ambivalent; inconsistent and overbearing

Sam has his eye on Julie and wants her to like him. According to research in social psychology, which of the following is *least* likely to work? a. emphasizing how similar their attitudes are b. making himself look as physically attractive as he can c. emphasizing that they have complementary personalities and that opposites attract d. arranging to work with her on a class project so that he can spend time with her

c. emphasizing that they have complementary personalities and that opposites attract

Katie and Madeline are dating. According to the *investment model* of close relationships, which of the following will influence their commitment to the relationship? a. Their satisfaction with the relationship b. Their level of investment in the relationship c. The availability and quality of alternative partners d. All of the above

d. All of the above

Close relationships can have either:

exchange or communal properties. Family relationships are typically communal.

According to Margaret Clark and Judson Mills (1993), interactions between new acquaintances are governed by equity concerns and are called

exchange relationships

In exchange relationships, people

keep track of who is contributing what and feel taken advantage of when they feel they are putting more into the relationship than they are getting out of it.

"I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close."

secure style

attachment styles

the expectations people develop about relationships with others based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants

In casual relationships, we trade "in kind"--

you lend someone your class notes, she buys you lunch. But in intimate relationships, we're trading different types of resources, so even if we wanted to, determining whether or not equity has been achieved become difficult. Long-term, intimate relationships may be governed by a looser give-and-take notion of equity rather than a rigid tit-for-tat strategy.

Toma and Hancock (2012) suggest three giveaways that the profile you're checking out online may not pass a reality check.

1) Deceptive profiles tend to have fewer first-person pronouns like "I" and "me." This is one way for those who lie or exaggerate to distance themselves psychologically from their half-truths. 2) Deceptive profiles make more use of negations, or negative turns of phrase (e.g., "not judgmental" instead of "open-minded." 3) Deceptive profiles simply include fewer total words than accurate profiles. Stretching the truth is hard work and cognitively demanding; the fewer inaccurate statements you put in your profile, the fewer fabrications you have to remember later when you meet someone in person.

Mackinnon, Jordan, & Wilson (2011) conducted a series of studies examining physical similarity and seating choice.

1) In one study, they simply analyzed the seating arrangement of college students in a library computer lab, making observations multiple times over the course of several different days. Results indicated that, for instance, students who wore glasses sat next to other students with glasses far more often than random chance alone would predict. 2) A second study found the same pattern by hair color. 3) In a third study, participants arrived at a psychology lab and were introduced to a partner who was already sitting. Handed a chair, they were told to have a seat, at which point the research team secretly measured how close to the partner's chair they put down their own chair. A separate set of researchers later evaluated photos of both the participant and the partner. Pairs judged as more physically similar had sat, on average, closer to each other. Without even realizing it, we are often drawn to those who look like us, to the point where people are even more likely to ask out on dates others who are similar to them in terms of attractiveness level.

SOME FINAL COMMENTS ABOUT SIMILARITY: 2 additional points about similarity.

1) While similarity is very important in close relationships, it is important to make a distinction between *actual* similarity and *perceived* similarity. In a recent meta-analysis, R. Matthew Montoya and his colleagues found that in long-term relationships, individuals' *beliefs* about how similar they were to another person predicted liking and attraction better than their *actual* similarity did. Thus, feeling similar to another is what's really important--so much so that we will sometimes create beliefs about the similarity between ourselves and intimate others even when they don't exist. 2) A *lack* of similarity does appear to play an important role in type of relationship. Amodio and Showers (2005) found that whether similarity or complementarity was important depended on the level of commitment that research participants felt toward their romantic partner. If participants wanted a committed relationship, they chose a similar partner; however, if they felt a low level of commitment to the relationship, they favored dissimilar partners. Thus, in lower-commitment relationships, we may go out of our way to choose someone who is striking different from us.

Social psychologists have recognized that a good definition of love must include the passionate, giddy feelings of romantic love as well as the deep, long-term devotion of married couples, lifelong friends, or siblings. In defining love, then, we generally distinguish between:

1. companionate love 2. passionate love

Familiarity also underlies many of the other concepts we've discussed thus far:

1. propinquity (people we see frequently become familiar through mere exposure), 2. similarity (people who are similar to us will also seem familiar to us), and 3. reciprocal liking (people who like each other get to know and become familiar with each other). All of these factors predicting attraction may be thought of as different examples of our basic preference for the comfortable, familiar, and safe over the unknown and unfamiliar.

Who values attractiveness more?

A meta-analysis of many studies found that while both sexes value attractiveness, men value it a bit more; however, this gender difference was greater when men's and women's attitudes were being measured than when their actual behavior was being measured. It may be that men are more likely than women to *say* that physical attractiveness is important to them, but when it comes to actual behavior, the sexes are fairly similar in how they respond to the physical attractiveness of others. Indeed, across multiple studies, both genders rated physical attractiveness as the single most important characteristic that triggers sexual desire, a finding that has been observed among straight as well as gay men as well as women.

Elaine Hatfield and Susan Sprecher (1986) developed a questionnaire to measure passionate love.

As measured by this scale, passionate love consists of strong, uncontrollable thoughts; intense feelings; and overt acts toward the target of one's affection.

Does it mean that we find "average" faces the most attractive?

Clearly not, for we respond to the physical appearance of movie stars and models and consider their looks to be "above average" compared to most humans. So by "average" here we don't mean "average looking," but rather refer to features that appear to be of average size and dimension. David Perret and his colleagues made this point clear in the following study (1994). They created composite faces of two types: One composite was based on 60 photographs that had each been rated as average in attractiveness. The other composite was based on 60 photographs that had each been rated as highly attractive. Composites of these two types were made using photographs of Caucasian women, Caucasian men, Japanese women, and Japanese men. Research participants in Great Britain and Japan then rated all the composite faces for attractiveness. The researchers found that the composites of highly attractive faces were rated as significantly more attractive than the composites of average attractiveness faces. Japanese and British participants showed the same pattern when judging the faces, reinforcing the idea that similar perceptions of facial attractiveness exist cross-culturally (Perrett et al., 1994).

A series of studies explored the preference for symmetrical faces by creating composite photographs of faces.

Faces were morphed (i.e., combined digitally) to create the mathematical average of the features of multiple faces; ultimately, 32 faces were combined into a single composite. When shown to research participants, composite photographs were judged as more attractive than were all the separate faces that had created them, and this held true for both male and female photographs. The "averaged" composite face was more attractive because it had lost some of the atypical or asymmetrical variation that was present in the individual faces.

Christakis & Fowler (2014)

Found that participants shared more DNA with their friends than with strangers, to a degree that participants were as genetically similar to their average friend as they would be to someone who shared a great-great-great grandparent. These data do not prove that our genes *cause* friendships or that our DNA drives people toward certain others. People tend to make friends with others who live near them, and individuals of similar genetic ancestry may be more likely to share such geographical propinquity.

Andrew Pryzblyski & Netta Weinstein (2013) brought pairs of strangers into their lab for a 10-minute conversation.

Half of these conversations took place with a mobile phone or tablet sitting on the small table between them; in another condition, there was no phone present. The researchers found that the mere presence of the mobile device decreased participants' feelings of trust, closeness, and empathy with their conversation partner. These effects were particularly pronounced when the pairs were instructed to discuss a personally meaningful topic, a scenario that, in the absence of a phone, would be expected to foster a sense of closeness among strangers meeting for the first time.

David Buss and his colleagues argue that the evolutionary approach that the evolutionary approach explains the different strategies and tendencies of men and women in romantic relationships.

He argues that finding (and keeping) a mate requires one to display resources--the aspects of oneself that will appear attractive to potential mates. He proposes that, across millennia, human beings have been selected through evolution to respond to certain external cues in the opposite sex. Women, facing high reproductive costs, will look for a man who can supply the resources and support she needs to raise a child. Men will look for a woman who appears capable of reproducing successfully. They will respond to the physical appearance of women because of age and health denote reproductive fitness, and women will respond to the economic and career achievements of men because these variables represent resources they and their offspring need.

However, there is a caveat:

If the person in question is an obnoxious jerk, the greater your dislike becomes. But in the absence of negative qualities, familiarity tends to breed attraction and liking.

Koranyi & Rothermund (2012) used a computer program to present a series of opposite-sex faces to German research participants.

Immediately after each photo appeared, a geometrical shape was shown that required participants to respond quickly using a keyboard. This procedure also allowed the researchers to measure which faces elicited the most visual attention from the respondents, and the results indicated that we have a tendency to linger and look longer at good-looking faces.

jung

In Korea, a special kind of relationship is expressed by the concept of *jung*. Much more than "love," jung is what ties two people together. Couples in new relationships may feel strong love for each other, but they have not yet developed jung--that takes time and mutual experiences. Interestingly, jung can develop in negative relationships too--for example, between business rivals who dislike each other. Jung may unknowingly grow over time, with the result that they feel that a strange connection exists between them.

We often prioritize different characteristics in a romantic partner when looking for a long-term relationship versus a fling.

In fact, in recent years many media outlets have suggested that such short-term flings have become more frequent than ever among young people, going so far as to refer to a "hook-up culture" common on many a college campus. But interestingly, research indicates that this is hardly a new development. When researchers compared survey responses of college students from 1988 to 1996 with those from 2004 to 2012, they found no differences in number of sexual partners or frequency of sex reported.

THE POWER OF FAMILIARITY

In the end, the crucial variable on which much of interpersonal attraction hinges may actually be familiarity. When participants rated the attractiveness of faces, they referred those faces that most resembled their own! The researchers morphed a picture of each participant's face (without the participant's knowledge) with one of a person of the opposite sex. When presented with this photo of their opposite-sex "clone," participants gave it high ratings of attractiveness.

ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE

It's important to realize that beauty matters--even when it shouldn't. We're attracted to that which is beautiful, and this can lead to inequity in everyday life.

Further evidence for the importance of reproductive considerations in human attraction comes from more recent research that has examined the relationship between a woman's menstrual cycle, her perceptions of potential mates, and how potential mates view her.

Kelly Gildersleeve and colleagues (2014) conducted a meta-analysis that examined 50 studies and found reliable support for the hypothesis that as they near ovulation and peak fertility, women tend to exhibit greater preference for men who exhibit outward signs of reproductive fitness: a symmetrical face, a masculine face (e.g., sharp, pronounced jawline), and a muscular physique.

Physical attractiveness of composite faces.

Langlois and Roggman (1990) created composites of faces using a computer. Pictured here is the first step in the process: The top two women's photos are merged to create the "composite person" at the bottom. This composite person has facial features that are the mathematical average of the facial features of the two original women.

What is love and what gives us satisfaction in close relationships? (10.3)

Long-term relationships are much more difficult to study scientifically than first impressions are. When studying first impressions, a researcher can randomly assign you to a get-acquainted session with someone who is similar or dissimilar to you. But a researcher can't randomly assign you to the similar or dissimilar "lover" condition and make you have a relationship! The feelings and intimacy associated with close relationships can be difficult to measure. Psychologists face a daunting task when trying to analyze such complex feelings as love and passion.

Specifically, when it comes to attractiveness, we tend to attribute to beautiful people other good qualities, including some that have nothing to do with their looks, buying into a "what is beautiful is good" stereotype.

Meta-analyses have revealed that physical attractiveness has its largest effect on attributions related to social competence: The beautiful are thought to be more social, extroverted, and popular than the less attractive. They are also seen as more sexual, happier, and more assertive.

What specific facial characteristics do people tend to find attractive?

One aspect of beauty that is preferred--in both men and women--is symmetry, where the size, shape, and location of the features on one side of the face match those on the other. Evolutionary psychologists suggest that we're attracted to symmetrical features because they serve as markers of good health and reproductive fitness--that is, facial symmetry is an indicator of "good genes."

The Person Next Door: The *Propinquity* Effect

One of the simplest determinants of interpersonal attraction is *propinquity* (also known as *proximity*). The people who, by chance, are the ones you see and interact with the most often are the most likely to become your friends and lovers.

Attraction 2.0: Mate Preference in an Online Era

One question surrounding attraction is how tendencies regarding mate preference that have evolved over generations play out in the modern era of Internet dating, speed-dating events, and Facebook.

Clearly, propinquity and initial similarity play a role in the formation of these friendships. However, the researchers add that similarity plays yet another role:

Over time, students in the same academic track share many of the same experiences, which are different from the experiences of those in other tracks. Thus, new similarities are created and discovered, fueling the friendships. In short, shared experiences promote attraction.

The finding that we like people who like us suggests that the strategy of "playing hard-to-get" can sometimes backfire.

Recent research suggests that the strategy tends to decrease how much another person likes you, all the while potentially increasing how much that person wants to be with you.

Are there social costs to an increasingly smartphone-tethered existence?

Research suggests that there might be. Consider a recent field experiment in which researchers visited coffee shops and cafes in the Washington, D.C., area, observed 100 real-life interactions between pairs of people, and then asked the individuals involved questions about the conversation they just had. Among pairs who had at least one mobile device (e.g., smartphone, laptop, tablet) present during the conservation, ratings of connectedness to and empathy for the other person were significantly lower than they were among pairs who interacted in the absence of such a device.

How romantic love is defined varies across individualistic and collectivistic cultures.

Researchers have found that Canadian college students' attitudes about love vary depending on their ethnocultural background: In comparison to other Canadians, Asian Canadian respondents are significantly more likely to identify with a companionable, friendship-based romantic love, a "style of love that would not disrupt a complex network of existing family relationships." Other researchers have found that in West African settings, relationships with one's parents, siblings, and other relatives are seen as more important and consequential than the more recent relationship one has formed with a spouse. In many areas of West Africa, married couples do not live together in the same house, nor do they expect to sleep together ever night. In stark contrast to the pattern of intimate relationships in individualistic cultures, their connection and obligation to their extended family members takes precedence over those to their spouse. Marrying for love was most important to participants in Westernized countries and of least important to participants in Asian countries.

Perceivers across cultural backgrounds think some faces are just better looking than others. How can we explain these results?

Researchers have suggested that humans came to find certain dimensions of the face attractive during the course of our evolution.

CULTURAL STANDARDS OF BEAUTY. Are people's perceptions of what is beautiful or handsome similar across cultures?

The answer is surprising yes. Even though racial and ethnic groups do vary in their specific facial features, people from a wide range of cultures agree on what is physically attractive in the human face... A meta-analysis of several studies by Judith Langlois and her colleagues (2000) also found evidence for cross-cultural agreement in what constitutes a beautiful or handsome face. In short, perceivers across cultural backgrounds think some faces are just better looking than others.

APPEARANCE

Similarity also operates when it comes to more superficial considerations.

gan qing

Similarly, the Chinese concept of *gan qing* differs from the Western view of romantic love. Gan qing is achieved by helping and working for another person; for example, a "romantic" act would be fixing someone's bicycle or helping someone learn new material.

In a classic study, Theodore Newcomb (1961) randomly assigned male students at the University of Michigan to be roommates in a particular dormitory at the start of the school year. Would similarity predict friendship formation?

The answer was yes: Men became friends with those who were demographically similar (e.g., shared a rural background), as well as with those who were similar in attitudes and values (e.g., were also engineering majors or also held comparable political views). It's not just attitudes or demographics that are important. Similar personality characteristics also promote liking and attraction.

Evolution and Mate Selection

The basic tenet of evolutionary biology is that an animal's "fitness" is measured by its reproductive success (i.e., its capability to pass on genes to the next generation).

companionate love

The feelings of intimacy and affection we have for someone that are not accompanied by passion or physiological arousal People can experience companionate love in nonsexual close friendships, or in romantic relationships in which they experience great feelings of intimacy but not as much of the heat and passion as they once felt.

propinquity effect

The finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends

Propinquity works because of familiarity, or the *mere exposure effect*.

The more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it.

Norton and colleges (2007)

The more familiar participants became with their partner during the date, the more they realized that some aspects of their initial impression (based on an ambiguous dating Web site profile) turned out to be inaccurate. As they obtained additional information during the date itself, they came to appreciate all their incompatibilities and dissimilarities, which in turn decreased average liking ratings.

Culture and Love

The process of finding a romantic partner varies across the world. For example, in villages in Nepal, dating is forbidden, and even causal meetings between young men and women are considered inappropriate. Traditionally, a future spouse is chosen by one's parents, who focus on the potential mate's social standing: family, caste, and economic resources. In these arranged marriages, the bride and groom often speak to each other for the first time on their wedding day. It is not unusual for the bride to cry during the ceremony and for the groom to look stunned and resigned. But despite what might seem an inauspicious beginning, many of these unions turn out to be successful, especially considering the high divorce rate of unarranged marriages in the United States. That said, others might point out that the freedom to consider seeking a divorce in an unhappy marriage is also something that varies by culture.

Although Chinese songs were sadder than American ones, there was no difference in the intensity with which love was described in the two countries.

The researchers found that love in Chinese songs was as "passionate and erotic" as love expressed in American songs.

We typically associate positive feeling with things that are familiar.

The same is true for the people we encounter. The more often we see certain people, and the more familiar they become, the more friendship blooms. Propinquity increases familiarity, which leads to liking.

INTERESTS AND EXPERIENCES

The situations you choose to be in are usually populated by people who have chosen them for similar reasons. Thus, we choose to enter into certain social situations where we then find similar others.

Around the world, women typically have less power, status, wealth, and other resources than men do.

Therefore, in many societies women need to rely on men to achieve economic security, and they must consider this characteristic when choosing a husband.

Social psychologist Arthur Aron has suggested that a central human motivation is "*self-expansion*."

This is the desire to overlap or blend with another person, so that you have access to that person's knowledge, insights, and experience and thus broaden and deepen your own experience of life.

Another good example of the propinquity and mere exposure effects is the college classroom.

Those who had sat side by side or in the same row the prior semester were significantly more likely to be friends a year later than those who sat far apart. The *propinquity effect* means that some of our relationships initially blossom because we were "at the right place, at the right time." Close friendships are often made in college, in part because of prolonged propinquity.

Reproductive success for the two sexes translates into two very different behavior patterns:

Throughout the animal world, males' reproductive success is measured by the *quantity* of their offspring. They pursue frequent pairings with many females in order to maximize their number of surviving progeny. In contrast, females' reproductive success lies in successfully raising each of their offspring to maturity. They pair less frequently and only with carefully chosen males, because the cost of them of raising and ensuring the survival of each offspring is so high.

Beyond differences in custom and ceremony, cultures also differ with regard to how people think about, define, and experience love.

While romantic love is deemed as important, even crucial, basis for marriage in individualistic societies, it is less emphasized in collectivistic ones. In individualistic societies, romantic love is a heady, highly personal experience. One immerses oneself in the new partner, virtually ignoring friends and family for a while. The decision regarding whom to become involved with or marry is for the most part a personal one. In comparison, in collectivistic societies, the individual in love must consider the wishes of family and other group members, which sometimes includes agreeing to an arranged marriage. Interestingly, though in recent decades Western ways of finding a partner have begun to permeate collectivistic cultures through the media.

Which of the following is *not* identified as a major predictor of attraction in long-term romantic relationships? a. complementarity b. reciprocity c. propinquity d. similarity

a. complementarity

One measure of the social distance between people is known as a. degrees of separation b. male preference c. social engagement d. halo effect

a. degrees of separation

Research on the effectiveness of dating websites indicates that a. people tend to send messages to fellow Web site users whose attractiveness and popularity levels are similar to their own. b. Websites using mathematical algorithms to match couples by compatibility are far more successful than more traditional ways of meeting a partner such as getting fixed up by friends. c. the more you find out about someone you met online the more you tend to like that person. d. these sites are very popular among gay and lesbian users, but not among heterosexuals.

a. people tend to send messages to fellow Web site users whose attractiveness and popularity levels are similar to their own.

Which of the following examples best illustrates how functional distance plays a role in the propinquity effect? a. Lisa made more friends in her sophomore-year dorm than in her freshman-year dorm. b. Marge, whose cubicle is right next to both the kitchen and the elevator, is one of the most popular people in the entire office c. Bart doesn't like his next-door neighbor, primarily because of his habit of playing loud music that makes it difficult to get to sleep at night d. Homer prefers to take the stairs rather than the elevator because it decreases his likelihood of running into people he finds annoying.

b. Marge, whose cubicle is right next to both the kitchen and the elevator, is one of the most popular people in the entire office

Which of the following statements about perceptions of physical attractiveness is true? a. Large cross-cultural differences emerge in terms of what is seen as physically attractive in the human face. b. Perceivers tend to believe that someone who is attractive also possesses a range of other (unrelated) positive characteristics. c. Asymmetrical faces are typically viewed as more attractive because they are so distinctive. d. The more someone looks like us, the less attractive we typically find him or her to be.

b. Perceivers tend to believe that someone who is attractive also possesses a range of other (unrelated) positive characteristics.

Research on the influence of mobile phone technology on social interaction indicates that a. contrary to what some critics believe, the availability of mobile phones and smartphones has no negative effect on social engagement. b. even if a mobile phone isn't being used during a conversation, it can still pose a distraction that comes at the expense of social engagement. c. men are more easily distracted by the presence of a mobile phone during a conversation than are women. d. while laptops and tablet computers can be distracting during face-to-face interaction, smartphones are not.

b. even if a mobile phone isn't being used during a conversation, it can still pose a distraction that comes at the expense of social engagement.

Research indicates that a face's symmetry is a reliable predictor of how attractive it is seen to be. An evolutionary psychology explanation for this finding would be that a. symmetrical faces remind us of ourselves and therefore elicit positive feelings b. symmetry is a sign of health and that a potential mate has good genes c. "Western" cultures place a greater emphasis on physical attractiveness than do "Eastern" cultures do. d. All the above

b. symmetry is a sign of health and that a potential mate has good genes

The ____ suggests that the more times we encounter someone or something, the more we tend to like it. a. reciprocal liking effect b. evolutionary perspective c. mere exposure effect d. halo effect

c. mere exposure effect

Which of the following statements is true regarding how people tend to represent themselves in on-line dating profiles? a. Deceptive web profiles tend to be longer and more detailed than accurate profiles b. The vast majority of people post inaccurate or misleading photos of themselves in online profiles. c. Misrepresentation in online profiles tends to be of both the intentional and unintentional varieties. d. There are no gender differences in how men and women represent themselves online.

c. Misrepresentation in online profiles tends to be of both the intentional and unintentional varieties.

Similarity in terms of which of the following dimensions has been found to predict increased attraction? a. attitudes b. attractiveness level c. genetics d. All of the above

d. All of the above

You and your friends decide to hold a heterosexual "speed-dating" event on campus. At this event, male students sit at tables arranged in a circle and have 3-minute conversations with a series of women. After each 3-minute period has ended, the women rotate in a clockwise direction and sit down with a new male student. When asked about their "dating" experiences after the event, research suggests that a. the women should focus less on facial symmetry in assessing their dates' attractiveness b. the men should focus less on facial symmetry in assessing their dates' attractiveness c. the women should be somewhat pickier in terms of rating which men they would like to see again d. the men should be somewhat pickier in terms of rating which women they would like to see again

d. the men should be somewhat pickier in terms of rating which women they would like to see again

Taylor and colleagues (2011)

found that users who qualified as popular contacted other popular users at a rate greater than would be expected by chance. The researchers found that users lower in popularity contacted other low-popularity users more often. People tend to select (and be selected by) others with similar levels of popularity, and this tendency to try to "match up" with mates of comparable popularity was no different for men than for women. "One reason that established couples tend to be similar is that matching is at play from the earliest stages of dating."

Physical Attractiveness. How important is physical appearance to our first impressions?

in field experiments investigating actual behavior (rather than simply what people *say* they will do), people overwhelmingly go fro physical attractiveness.

In reality, familiarity doesn't usually breed contempt;

it breeds liking.

And perhaps certain genetic predispositions--say, an athletic build and good lung capacity--

make people more likely to select certain activities and frequent certain locales--say, joining a running club--which means that genetically similar individuals often end up doing the same thing at the same time in the same place.

One indicator of just how important physical appearance is in attraction is our nearly chronic tendency to shift visual attention to attractive others in...

our immediate vicinity

amae

the Japanese word - an extremely positive emotional state in which one is a totally passive love object, indulged and taken care of by one's romantic partner, much like a mother-infant relationship. Has no equivalent in English or any other Western language; the closest is the word *dependency,* an emotional state that Western cultures consider unhealthy in adult relationships.

yuan

the belief that interpersonal relations are predestined. Finding that the Chinese love songs had significantly more references to suffering and to negative outcomes than the American love songs, the researchers looked to the Chinese concept of *yuan* for an explanation.

"Opposites attract"

the concept of *complementarity*

Norton and colleagues (2007) found that learning more about a partner during a date often makes you like that person less than you did when you had only seen a profile, suggesting that

the profiles aren't too accurate to begin with.

Festinger and his colleagues (1950) demonstrated that attraction and propinquity rely not only on actual physical distance but also on "functional distance,"

which refers to aspects of architectural design that determine which people you cross paths with most often.

Hancock and Toma (2009) found that distortions are often less conscious, especially among

women

Conley et al. (2011) Bizarro dating world where women did the approaching,

women were no longer pickier than men. If anything, the female participants now reported more chemistry with their partners and identified more prospective mates that they wanted to see again.

Physical attractiveness is associated with a variety of benefits.

• People of above-average looks tend to earn 10% to 15% more than those of below-average appearance. • College professors perceived as attractive tend to receive higher student evaluation ratings. • Attractiveness even helps win elections. • Many studies have found that physical attractiveness affects the attributions people make about others (and vice versa).

ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVES ON SEX DIFFERENCES

• With multiple partners, females would increase the odds of getting resources for their offspring, as well as benefit from genetic diversity. Females could choose an attractive male with "good genes" with whom to procreate and another male with whom to raise the offspring. • Men value physical attractiveness in a partner not because of evolved tendencies, but simply because they have been taught by society to value it--that they have been conditioned by decades of advertising, media images, and other cultural messages to value beauty in women and to have a more recreational approach to sex than women do. Similarly, research has found that in some situations, women value physical attractiveness just as much as men--specifically, when they are considering a potential sexual partner as opposed to a potential marriage partner.