Stress Management Final

Five conflict handling modes

Competing (shark)- most assertive least cooperative Collaborating (Owl)- most assertive most cooperative Compromising (Fox)- medium assertive and cooperative avoiding (turtle)- unassertive uncooperative accommodating (teddy bear)- unassertive cooperative

Conflict management styles: The compromising Fox

-Foxes use a compromising conflict management style; concern for goals and relationships -willing to sacrifice some goals while persuading others to give up part of theirs -assertive, cooperative, wine-lee or lose-lose appropriate times -important issues leave no clear or simple solutions -all conflicting people are equal in power and have strong interests in different solutions -there are no time restraints

content conflict

-arises from the misunderstanding of factual information, definition of terms or concepts, goals, or elements of strategies used in a cooperative effort. -Disagreement occurs over the perception of information available -the problem is not in dispute, rather, it is the solution to the problem that generates conflict

Conflict management styles: the avoiding turtle

-avoiding or withdrawing -hide and ignore, unassertive -give up personal goals, passive behavior, create lose lose situation Appropriate use -stakes are not high or issue is trivial -confrontation will hurt a working relationship -little chance of satisfying wants -disruption outweighs benefit of conflict resolution -gathering information is more important than an immediate decision -others can more effectively resolve conflict -time constrains demand a delay

Ego conflict

-based on a win-lose mentality -conflicts of this nature involve manipulation and control to support one's identity, and to prove one is right. -based on power, competency, identity, and emotional attachment. Thought to be the hardest type to resolve

Conflict management styles: the collaborating owl

-collaboration, problem confronting, value goals and relationships -view conflicts as problems to be solved, win win solutions appropriate to use -maintaining relationship is important -time is not a concern -peer conflict is involved -trying to gain commitment through consensus building -learning and trying to merge differing perspectives

conflict management styles: the accommodating teddy bear

-smoothing or accommodating, emphasis on relationships -ignore their own goals and give into others -unassertive and cooperative, creating win-lose situation Appropriate to use -maintaining relationship outweighs other concerns -suggestions or changes are not important to the accommodator -minimizing losses in situations where outmatched or losing -time is limited or when harmony and stability are valued

Conflict management styles: the competing shark

-use force and competition -highly goal oriented -relationships take low priority -aggressive behavior -autocratic, uncooperative -need to win, others must loose Appropriate times to use a shark style: -conflict involves personal differences that are difficult to change -fostering intimate or supportive relationships is not critical -others likely to take advantage of noncompetitive behavior -conflict resolution is urgent -unpopular decisions need to be implemented

value conflict

-when a person has conflicting values within his or her own value system, value clarification is needed, but when values between people collide, it is much harder -the result is often a compromise, with neither side obtaining a complete or satisfactory victory

behavior modification model: five steps

1. awareness 2. desire to change 3. cognitive restructuring 4. behavioral substitution 5. evaluation

Assertiveness skills:

1. learn to say no 2. learn to use I statements 3. Use eye contact 4. Use assertive body language 5. practice peaceful disagreement 6. avoid roadblocks of manipulation a. intimidation b. content substitution c. personal attacks d. avoidance 7. respond rather than react

The slippery slope- names for right 3 and what are they?

Attack Responses Peace breaking responses 1. Assault 2. Litigation 3. Murder

The slippery slope- names for middle 6 and what are they?

Peacemaking Responses conciliation/ conciliatory response Personal peacemaking- only 2 people involved 1. Overlook 2. Reconciliation 3. Negotiation Assisted peacemaking 4. mediation 5. arbitration 6. accountability

passive behavior style

a behavior influenced by intimidation that can often lead to feelings of resentment and victimization

assertive behavior style

a behavior style that is neither passive nor aggressive, but one that is tolerant and considerate in the quest for individual rights

brief grief

a concept that suggests that some grieving is appropriate and healthy, versus unhealthy, prolonged grieving

thought stopping

a coping technique where one consciously stops the run of negative thoughts going through one's head

victimization

a mindset of continually seeing yourself as a victim

awfulizing

a mindset where one tends to see or hope for the bad in every situation

disqualifying the positive

a negative belief pattern that eclipses positive circumstances, reducing any that surface as insignificant all the while focusing on the negative

neurolinguistic programming

a program designed to look at how our thoughts control our language and how our language influences our behavior

mental filter

a solitary negative detail becomes the focus of your attention, obscuring the bigger picture

flexible optimism

a term coined by seligman to convey that we can all harness the power of optimism into positive thinking

should statements

a thought process influenced by a rewards and punishment mentality in which one motivates oneself with the words should, must, ought. The behavior often results in feelings of guilt or resentment towards others

dialogue

a verbal exchange of opinions, attitudes, facts, and perceptions that opens the doors to greater understanding of the nature of the problem

jumping to conclusions

affirming a negative interpretation without supporting facts often by insisting on a strong intuitive feel, which is little more than projection of one's own feelings

Cognitive distortions:

all or none thinking overgeneralization mental filter disqualifying the positive jumping to conclusions magnification emotional reasoning should statements labeling and mislabeling personalizations

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

assesses an individual's behavior in conflict situations, describe people's behavior along two dimensions: assertiveness and cooperativeness.

labeling and mislabeling

considered an extreme form of overgeneralization, statements such as I'm a loser, or he's always a jerk are examples, in which mislabeling involves words that are highly charged or emotionally loaded

The slippery slope- names for left three and what are they?

escape responses peace faking responses 1. Suicide 2. Flight 3. Denial

emotional reasoning

living the assumption that one's negative emotions are a true reflection of how things really are

overgeneralization

one single negative circumstance manifests into a life pattern (this always happens to me)

toxic thoughts

repeated negative thought process that tends to pollute our view of our lives and ourselves

behavioral substitution

substituting a new behavior for a less desirable one

personalization

taking credit or blame for events that you had little or nothing to do with

self-talk

the perpetual conversation heard in the mind, usually negative and coming from the critical ego, which rarely has anything good to say

Conflict resolution

the resolution of arguments displayed as three styles: content conflict, value conflict, and ego conflict

assertiveness

the term given to a behavior that is neither passive nor aggressive, but proactively diplomatic

conflict management styles

there are five conflict-management styles, withdrawal, surrender, hostile aggression, persuasion, and dialogue

all or none thinking

there is only good or bad, black or white, no middle ground