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candy is a secretary she just said "good morning" to one of the other ladies at the office but was completely ignored.

"choose your battles"

frank is an inexperienced truck driver he gets pulled over by a PA state trooper for speeding. the officer looks angry when frank says "no one gives tickets for going only 7 mph over"

"choose your battles" and "their house, their rules"

Barbara is a waitress her supervisor tells her that the tattoo on her chest is inappropriate for work barbara thinks the tattoo is sexy

"their house, their rules"

david is a mechanic who used to own his own garage but now works for an auto repair chain. he disagrees with his store manager about advertising. "when I was running my place," he begins...

"their house, their rules"

Adam is a carpenter. his customer isn't happy with the way one of his custom cabinets turned out adam thinks it looks fine

"try to see the OPV"

eileen is a youth pastor a parent is upset about a comment eileen made during youth group the comment was innocent but the parent is insulted.

"try to see the OPV"

List three things that define your person brand:

-look -peers -actions

Alan is angry and in shock:

Feeling

true or false a. "written rules" can usually be found on employers' bathroom walls b"written rules" can usually be found in the employee handbook

a. false b. true

true or false a. employees who don't abide by unwritten rules are seen as having bad attitudes b. employees who don't abide by unwritten rules are seen as having bad breath

a. true b. false

true or false a. "do your best to get along with everyone" is an example of an unwritten rule b. "do your best to get along with every one" is an example of a written rule

a.true b.false

true or false a. policies about overtime pay are usually part of an employer's written rules b.policies about overtime pay are usually part of an employer's unwritten rules

a.true b.false

2 terms that go with correct

accurate, proper spelling/grammar

alan is yelling abusive words at the UPS delivery man.

aggressive

What are two common emotions of aggressive?

angry and furious

betty has walked out of work and is on her way to a bar

avoidant

charlie is keeping to himself hoping everyone leaves him alone

avoidant

frowning and mumbling "well, I wasn't the only one..."

bad: negative showing no responsibility

saying "yup, i'm listening" while sneaky-texting

bad: not paying attention

rolling your eyes and muttering "What-EVER"

bad: showing no respect

Alan is a smoker in stage 1 (resistance), denying his breathing problems. to work through this stage, he needs to _______.

be honest about the real effects

What we do or say:

behavior

cognitive cycle #4

behavior

cognitive cycle #1

beliefs

lasting ideas about how things really are:

beliefs

A company/person's way of standing out from others:

brand

You have painful neck and back problems that get worse every month:

chronic stress

charlie has been unemployed for a long time, but is now in stage 3 (planning), getting ready for work again. to work through this stage, he needs to _____.

come up with specific steps to improve the situation within 30 days.

what are two common emotions of passive-aggressive?

cynical and superior

You got a parking ticket on your car this morning:

daily stress

"________" means trying to understand what someone really means by reading between the lines.

decoding

charlie later tries very hard to please his boss begging for his job

dependent

what are two common emotions of avoidant?

depressed and worthless

2 terms that go with clear

direct, understandable

candy is a secretary she needs to send several important files to five of the lawyers in the office. the best communication format would be

e-mail (formal)

adam is a carpenter his customer isn't happy with the way his custom cabinets turned out. the best communication format would be

face to face or phonecall

most of what people really mean is communicated non-verbally through their ______ expressions and _______ language.

facial, body

T or F: Knowing our warning signs guarantees that we will never have an "emotional accident"

false- doesn't guarantee but can help

T or F: there are four feeling families: snickers, kit-kats, m&ms, and twizzlers.

false- mad, sad, glad, scared

T or F: If you've successfully changed for 2 months, you are in the thinking stage.

false- you are in the action phase

T or F: If you're open to change but haven't prepared at all, you are in the Action stage.

false- you are in the thinking stage

T or F: To "rebrand" ourselves, we have to change everything that makes us "us".

false-to "rebrand" ourselves we have to change some things that makes us "us".

T or F: We should try hard to forget the mistakes of our past.

false-we should try hard to learn from the mistakes of our past.

T or F: if you've kept up changes for 8-9 months, you are in the planning stage.

false-you are in the maintenance stage

T or F: having your personal beliefs violated is usually a relaxing and pleasant experience

false: violated is not usually

Charlie is completely depressed:

feeling

to summarize, restate the person's ______ about the _______

feelings, situation

Alan threatens: "why don't you meet me in the parking lot at 5:00pm?"

fight

Debbie waits until after the meeting, then sends an angry text-message to everyone she knows:

fight

Betty says: "I'm out of here. I quit."

flight

Charlie looks down and doesn't say anything back:

freeze

2 terms that go with courteous

friendly, not too casual

looking thoughtful and saying "tell me more..."

good

nodding and saying "i see what you mean..."

good

strategies to clear your head

imagine a peaceful beach, think "this won't last forever"

cognitive cycle #3

internal reactions

our thoughts, feelings, and physical signs:

internal reactions

Betty is a seriously overweight person in stage 2 (thinking). she knows she is unhealthy but hasn't done anything about it yet. to work through this stage, she needs to ______.

learn about/gain motivation to improve the current condition.

A picture or symbol that represents a company/person:

logo

cognitive cycle #5

outcomes

what happens as a result of our behavior:

outcomes

debbie is gossiping about her boss and her co-workers

passive-aggressive

debbie tries to manipulate the company owner into firing her supervisor

passive-aggressive

Betty has a stomach ache:

physical sign

Debbie's neck and shoulders are stiff:

physical sign

process of changing your image or reputation:

rebranding

adam (a carpenter) takes a lot of pride in how his cabinets look.

satisfaction

david (a mechanic) likes how it feels when he can make a rough engine purr.

satisfaction

eileen (a pastor) feels a true calling to her work in youth ministry.

self

2 terms that go with concise

short, to the point

A catchy phrase to remember a company/person:

slogan

strategies to act the opposite

smile instead of frown, get involved instead of being alone

candy (a secretary) enjoys going out to lunch with the other ladies at the office.

social

frank (a truck driver) enjoys stopping at the same restaurant and talking with old friends every time he drives his northern route.

social

Debbie spent years as a closet drinker, but is finally in stage 4 (action), staying sober and attending support groups. to work through this stage, she needs to _____.

stick with the plan for at least 6 months

cognitive cycle #2

stressful situation

overwhelming problem:

stressful situation

"__________" shows we understand by repeating back what we heard

summarizing

barbara (a waitress) is relieved that tips were good enough to make her car payment.

survival

Strategies to calm your body

take a deep breath, go for a short walk

Alan says to himself: "OMG, I can't believe I just threatened my boss!"

thought

Betty wonders: "How will I explain this to my husband?"

thought

even on the phone. we can pick up a lot of underlying meaning by listening to someone's ______ of ______

tone, voice

T or F: If we pay close attention to our warning signs, we have a chance to slow ourselves down before we do or say something we might regret.

true

T or F: If you are getting ready for change within 30 days, you are in the planning stage.

true

T or F: If you can't see the need for improvement, you are in the resistance stage.

true

T or F: If you make a temporary change to your behavior only because someone is bugging you (then go right back) you are in the resistance stage.

true

T or F: It is hard work, but a person's brand can be changed.

true

T or F: We may have to leave some relationships behind if we are going to successfully change our lives.

true

T or F: a "code-switcher" is a mental statement that helps us shift quickly from one perspective (such as home) to another (such as work)

true

T or F: being able to label our feelings often makes it easier to understand and gain control over them.

true

T or F: creating new routines for your life is especially important when dealing with long-term chronic stesses.

true

T or F: living in the moment instead of worrying too much about the future is an especially good strategy for reducing what-if worries.

true

T or F: many people have developed strong beliefs about right and wrong throughout their lives, often learned from family, friends, school, media, and life experiences

true

T or F: most people operate by very different rules in their home lives than in their work lives.

true

T or F: taking a deep breath and sip of cool water is best for managing daily stress.

true

a company/person's most important ideals:

values

You are worried about what might happen if your daughter drops out:

what if stress

what are two common emotions of dependent?

worried and insecure

barbara is a waitress she really appreciates the nice gift her co-worker gave her for her baby shower. the best communication format would be

written note or text


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