Writing a Narrative Application Essay 100%

Read the excerpt from Dominique's personal narrative. Tired of waiting for the bus, which was late for the fifth day in a row, I sat leafing through an old magazine I had stuffed in my purse the previous night. It was terribly warm for a September afternoon, and the sun cast fleeting shadows on the bus stop sign with each car that passed. I wondered when the weather would get cooler and when the new bus driver would start arriving on time. It was about then that I first noticed the apparent agitation of the man sitting next to me. Finally, the bus arrived and ambled to a gradual stop directly in front of the restless man. The doors widened, and the bus driver greeted the man with his usual banter in his usual monotone. "Good afternoon. How are you today?" When writing the next few lines of dialogue, Dominique should be certain that the lines

include everyday language that seems real and natural.

Read the beginning of Trevor's narrative. Thinking back on that afternoon, I knew then that my best friend was keeping something from me. If I thought about it—I mean, really thought about it—there had been other signs. They may have been subtle, but they had been there, nonetheless. Trevor decides not to tell his story in chronological order. What is the most likely reason Trevor chose to begin his story in this way?

to capture the reader's attention by creating suspense about his best friend

Harrison is going to write a personal narrative about his uncle and the reasons he admires him. Which sentence most effectively uses description to show the reader what kind of person Harrison's uncle is?

In addition to working full time in his thriving pediatric dental practice, Uncle Ted regularly provides free dental care to those in need

Read the excerpt from Spencer's narrative. I could not have been more stunned. "He" was a "she"! Our new football coach was a female. My mind drifted to that day last week. We had all been waiting in the locker room to meet our new coach, secretly wondering what he would be like. Would he be tough but fair? Would he be demanding but understanding? Would he motivate us before each game with a rousing speech the way Coach Jackson always had? These thoughts were abruptly interrupted when our new coach entered the locker room, stood before us, and commanded our attention. Spencer decided to structure his narrative to start at the end. How did this affect his arrangement of the plot?

Spencer had to go back and recount the events that led to that moment.

Read the paragraph from Gordon's personal narrative. 1 When I first entered the room, I was really struck by what I saw. 2 It was my first day of cooking lessons, and I was on my way to fulfilling my dreams of one day becoming a chef in my own world-renowned restaurant. 3 I had spent countless hours of my childhood watching my parents, both professional chefs, prepare savory meals for my sisters and me. 4 From them, I had already obtained a solid foundation of cooking basics. 5 However, it was in this room that I would build upon those basics and begin my ascent as a chef in my own right. Which sentence should Gordon revise to make it more precise, and why?

Gordon should revise sentence 1 to provide specific details about what "struck" him as he first entered the room.

Read the excerpt from Dominique's narrative. 1 Tired of waiting for the bus, which was late for the fifth day in a row, I sat leafing through an old magazine I had stuffed in my purse the previous night. 2 It was terribly warm for a September afternoon, and the sun cast transitory shadows on the bus stop sign with each car that passed. 3 I fleetingly wondered when the weather would get cooler and when the new bus driver would start arriving on time. 4 It was about then that I first noticed the apparent agitation of the man sitting next to me. 5 Finally, the bus arrived and ambled to a gradual stop directly in front of the restless man. 6 The doors widened, and the bus driver greeted the man with his usual banter in his usual monotone. 7 "Good afternoon. How are you today?" Which sentence would best create a strong, descriptive image in the reader's mind if it were added after sentence 4?

He was casting quick, sideways glances in the direction the bus should be coming from, and his left foot beat a steady rhythm on the hot pavement.

Read the paragraph from Nick's personal narrative. Standing alone in my family's barn, I thought about how much hard work and time my parents had invested—how much hard work and time we had all invested—in maintaining a fully operational farm. I did not remember a time when my clothes had not reeked of manure or my hair had not held fast to brittle pieces of straw. What would happen if my parents had to sell the farm so we could move closer to my grandparents? Just as I was attempting to imagine a life in the city, a sudden commotion erupted and interrupted my thoughts. With animals squawking and dust flying, I scrambled to pinpoint the source of this unexpected intrusion. In seconds that felt more like minutes, I was successful . . . and I could scarcely believe what my eyes were seeing. Nick uses chronological order to relate his narrative. What effect does this have on his arrangement of the plot?

It allows Nick to surprise the reader by disrupting the calm setting with unexpected excitement

Read the paragraph from Nick's personal narrative. Standing alone in my family's barn, I thought about how much hard work and time my parents had invested—how much hard work and time we had all invested—in maintaining a fully operational farm. I did not remember a time when my clothes had not reeked of manure or my hair had not held fast to brittle pieces of straw. What would happen if my parents had to sell the farm so we could move closer to my grandparents? Just as I was attempting to imagine a life in the city, a sudden commotion erupted and interrupted my thoughts. With animals squawking and dust flying, I scrambled to pinpoint the source of this unexpected intrusion. In seconds that felt more like minutes, I was successful . . . and I could scarcely believe what my eyes were seeing. Nick would like to rearrange his plot so that it begins with the commotion in the barn. Which statement best describes how starting in the middle of an exciting part will affect the plot?

Nick will need to go back and relate the events that led up to that moment in the story.

Read the concluding reflection from Kyle's essay. My infatuation with reading, ignited in the sixth grade, significantly changed my life. Ultimately, it was from my sixth-grade teacher that I learned the true power that lies between the covers of a book. It wasn't because she demanded we read or because she encouraged us to read or because she explained why we should read. It was because she opened the doors to reading and invited us into fantastic worlds we had never before experienced. Using books as her compass, she led the way, and all we had to do was follow. To revise his reflection and make a stronger statement, Kyle should more clearly explain

What effect reading had on his life

Read the paragraph from Lucy's narrative. I could see that my neighbor was struggling with the lone bag of groceries cradled in her arms, but I wasn't sure what I should do. Grandma June—what all the neighborhood kids had called her for as long as I could remember—had always been the one to care for us, to help us build stronger forts, to grow better flowers, and to learn from our mistakes. To ask if she needed help with something as simple as carrying in one bag of groceries would be like shouting to the world that she was aging, that she was no longer as strong as she once had been. Hesitantly, I walked to the wooden gate that divided our front lawn from hers and stood there as the package she was carrying threatened to spill from her arms. Which element of a narrative should Lucy include next to most effectively move the story forward?

a few lines of dialogue between the writer and Grandma June