26 Powerful Techniques to Persuade Anyone

#26 - WHAT TO DO IF YOUR PROSPECT SAYS NO: THE POWER OF "WHY NOT?"

According to research conducted by Bolster, the "why not?" technique is very effective in increasing compliance rates. In one of Bolster's research experiments, participants who used the "why not?" technique achieved a compliance rate of 60%. While this isn't a fantastic compliance rate, keep in mind that this is a technique you can use to change your prospect's mind even after he/she has said no. So, what exactly is the "why not?" technique? As the name suggests, the "why not?" technique refers to you asking your prospect, "Why not?" after he/she refuses your request. Listen carefully to your prospect's objection, and then address it so that it is no longer an objection. If you can address the objection, most people will comply with your request because they have no reason not to. The other benefit of the "why not?" technique is that it gives you useful information to create a better pitch for the next time you try to persuade a similar prospect. Let me give you an example: I am currently fortunate enough to be the Chief Commercial of a million-dollar company in Tanzania. It is my job to make sure that my salespeople meet their monthly targets. I have trained my salespeople to use the "why not?" technique whenever a prospect refuses to buy from them. I can then use this information to create a more compelling offer. Next time someone says no to you, ask them "why not?" and then clearly and succinctly address their objections. Not only will you be more likely to convince them, you will also get information that can help you when trying to persuade similar prospects in the future.

#8 - THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT, GEEK STREET AND OTHER COOL TECHNIQUES: THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT

Another great way to increase your perceived credibility is to hang around other experts. When you associate yourself with other experts, their credibility spills over onto you and people begin to perceive you as an expert. That's why I encourage you to network with other experts. Attend networking events and get to know the movers and shakers in your industry. Also, join industry conferences and associations - that's where you'll meet the other experts and begin to develop relationships with them. Now, this isn't a get-credibility-quick scheme. This strategy won't show instant results. Don't expect to hang out with experts one day and be seen as an expert the next day. This strategy is a long-term strategy - it will take a long time. However, the payoff is worth it. If you become the kind of person who is well respected and liked by other experts in your field, the word will eventually spread that you're an expert who knows what you're talking about - and prospects will come to you instead of you having to chase after them! HOW I ESTABLISHED MYSELF AS AN EXPERT - EVEN THOUGH I WAS A TWENTY-SOMETHING KID WITH NO CREDENTIALS OR CONNECTIONS Getting others to perceive you as an expert is not very difficult. I know because I've done it, even though I was a 21-year-old with no credentials and no connections. Apart from attending industry conferences and networking events, here are the exact steps I used to establish myself as an expert:

#2 - HOW TO GET PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU (IN 90 SECONDS OR LESS):THE GEORGE CLOONEY/HALLE BERRY EFFECT

Are attractive people more persuasive? Would you be more willing to say yes to a request by George Clooney or Halle Berry than you would to an average-looking person? Even though it may seem unfair, it's true that attractive people are more persuasive. Attractive people are seen as being smarter, kinder and more talented than non-attractive people. You might be shaking your head and saying, "No, that might be true for other people but my decisions are not influenced by the attractiveness of the person doing the asking!" It turns out that a lot of people hold that opinion. They believe that their decisions are not influenced by how attractive a person is. However, science reveals otherwise. A research study conducted by Michael Efran and E.W.J. Patterson analyzed the effect of the attractiveness of the candidate on the 1974 Canadian federal elections. The study found that attractive candidates received two-and-a-half times as many votes as did unattractive candidates. In another research study conducted by Reingen and Kernan, the researchers found that attractive fundraisers received twice as many donations as non-attractive fundraisers. While this research may be disheartening for non-attractive individuals like myself, the reality is that attractive people tend to be more persuasive than less-attractive individuals. So, what does this mean for you? Does it mean that non-attractive folks such as myself are doomed to fail in our persuasion attempts? Absolutely not. It does, however, mean that we need to pay careful attention to how we look. Apart from dressing well, make sure you take care of yourself. Learn how to take care of your skin and your body so that you look the best that you possibly can.

#22 - THE PETRIFIED FOREST PERSUASION FAILURE As an

As an example of this, consider what happened when researchers put the following sign in the U.S. Petrified Forest National Park: "Many past visitors have removed the petrified wood from the park, destroying the natural state of the Petrified Forest." The sign was meant to discourage theft by showing that removing wood has resulted in destruction of the forest. It's the sort of message a lot of people use when trying to scare someone away from a behavior (e.g. "Most people don't recycle their trash, which results in destruction of the Earth. Please recycle your trash and help save the world!"). Have you ever seen a message similar to this? This type of message conveys negative social proof. It tries to discourage people from a particular behavior, but it demonstrates that a lot of people are engaging in that behavior. So, what were the results of the sign that was put up at the Petrified Forest? Was the sign successful in painting the seriousness of the problem and hence reducing theft of the wood? The results were shocking! The negative social proof ("Many past visitors have removed the petrified wood...") resulted in increased theft. In fact, it tripled the amount of theft because it unconsciously made people think, "If everyone else is doing it, then why shouldn't I?" Next time you're using social proof to persuade someone to do something, make sure you're not using negative social proof that results in the opposite of the desired behavior.

# 17 - THE FAIR PERSUADER

Daniel O'Keefe at the University of Illinois wondered exactly the same thing. He did a meta-analysis of over a hundred different studies that looked at the issue of one-sided versus balanced arguments and came to the following conclusion: two-sided arguments were more persuasive than one-sided arguments (but only when two-sided arguments also provided counter-arguments). In other words, the most persuasive argument is one that talks about the benefits of a particular course of actions, acknowledges that there might be some drawbacks but then offers counter-measures or counter-arguments that minimize the effect of the drawbacks. Apart from shooting down possible objections before your target even raises them, the benefit of a balanced argument is that it makes you look like a fair, rational and logical person. By acknowledging the weaknesses in your argument, you show your target that you're someone who's looked at the pros and cons of the idea and then come to a logical conclusion (as opposed to being a slick salesperson who turns a blind eye to any weaknesses in your ideas/products). This makes it easier for your target to trust you - they see you as a trustworthy persuader - which in turn makes it easier for you to persuade the target. Next time you try to persuade someone, avoid the temptations to hide the weaknesses in your argument. Instead, point out those weaknesses before your target does, and then offer counter-arguments that make the weaknesses seem insignificant. This way, you'll get rid of your prospect's potential objections before she even raises them and you'll come across as a rational expert who has weighed both the pros and cons in order to come to a logical decision.

# 13 - THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT, GEEK STREET AND OTHER COOL TECHNIQUES:THE OPRAH STAMP

Did you know that it's relatively easy to get booked for a TV appearance? But first, why would you want to appear on TV or radio anyway? It turns out that people who are featured on TV, radio or newspapers are perceived as experts. If you make an appearance on CNN or Oprah, people regard you as an expert. After all, if you're good enough to be trusted by Oprah (I call this the Oprah Stamp), you're good enough for everyone else (at least, that's the thinking). However, you don't have to be booked by CNN, or FOX, or BBC in order to be regarded as an expert. Even a short appearance on a relatively unknown TV show is enough to make others perceive you as a local expert. The good news is that it's very easy to get on a TV show. I know because I've done it. Here I am on a TV show in Malaysia. I was traveling through Malaysia when I decided that it would be fun to be on TV (even though I had no connections to any TV hosts or journalists): image

# 18 - INOCULATION

Here's another example of how well inoculation works. In a study conducted by Cheryl Perry, the researchers wanted to see if they could inoculate adolescents against pro-smoking arguments so that they could reduce the chances that these children would become smokers. Most children under the age of 12 usually hold negative attitudes about smoking, but when they get into high school, peer pressure to be "cool" and the pressure to fit in results in a large number of these children becoming smokers. The researchers wanted to test if it was possible to reduce teenage smoking rates through inoculation. Therefore, they conducted an experiment and got a group of children to role-play how they would handle situations such as being called a "chicken" for not smoking. In order to inoculate them against smoking, these students practiced responding to peer-pressure by saying things such as, "I'd be a real chicken if I smoked just to impress you!" The results of this experiment were astounding. The children who had been inoculated against pro-smoking (and peer pressure) were 50% less likely to become smokers than children who had not been inoculated. As this experiment shows, inoculation is powerful. It works! Whether they did it consciously or not, my parents inoculated me against smoking and drinking at an early age. Since the age of 14, I remember my parents casually telling me things such as, "I know that there may be pressure on you to smoke and drink because your friends might be doing it - they might even say you're 'not cool' for not joining in - but you should just tell them, 'I'd rather be uncool than smoke just because you're doing it!'" Like any teenager, I used to hate listening to my parents tell me what to say. However, the inoculation worked because I never gave into peer pressure. Whenever I was offered a cigarette or a drink and made fun of for not joining in, I used a similar version of what my parents told me and rejected my friends' persuasion attempts to join in on their rebellious activities. To this day, I do not smoke or drink and have never experimented with drugs. For that, I give the full credit to my parents for raising me the way they did. Whether they were aware of it or not, they used a very powerful persuasion technique to keep me away from cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. When you are trying to inoculate your prospect against counter-persuasion attempts, you probably can't get them to role-play. However, what can you do? The easiest way is to shoot down potential opposing arguments even before they are raised. You could say things such as, "Now, I know that a few people might say that our company is too new and this is true. However, all you have to do is look at our track record. We may be young in the marketplace, but we've had a successful track record of working with companies such as..." You could also inoculate your prospect against possible counter-persuasion attempts from himself by saying, "I know you might be thinking that (insert possible objection here), and I understand. I used to think the same way. However, what I have learned since is that..." Side note: Notice how in the above two statements you are not arguing against the prospect. Instead, you are accepting and acknowledging what the prospect is saying, and then giving them a different perspective. For example, in the first example, you are acknowledging that you are a young company, but then getting him to focus on the fact that you have a successful track record despite being new in the market. In the second statement, you are accepting that you too used to have the same objection that your prospect has, but then introducing him to a new piece of information showing him how that changed your mind, and which will hopefully change his too. In any case, never argue against the prospect because your prospect does not like being wrong. Trying to convince him he is wrong is a waste of your time. Instead, accept his objection and then give him some new information that changes their perspective. I remember when I first accidentally stumbled across this great persuasion technique called inoculation. I was in in high school and one of my subjects was economics. My economics teacher loved holding mock debates during class, and he'd pit students against one another and get us to debate the pros and cons of a particular economic policy. During one such debate, I was supposed to argue against my opponent and prove to my class, once and for all, that the best type of economy was a free economy (whereas my opponent's job was to argue that the best type of market was a planned one). We'd been given several minutes to prepare our debates, after which I was the first person to get up and speak. I began my argument by talking about the benefits of a free economy, but within a couple of minutes, I'd covered all my points and found that I still had two more minutes of speaking time remaining. Not wanting to waste my speaking opportunity (plus, my teacher would have killed me if I'd finished speaking before time was up!) I said, "Now, I realize that my opponent might say that..." I went on to talk about all the possible arguments that my opponent might make and then shot each one down with a counter-argument. I knew I'd stumbled across a great persuasion technique when the class began applauding enthusiastically when I finished speaking. It wasn't because I was a good speaker (they'd never cheered for me before). It was the technique that made the difference. When my opponent stood up to make his argument, his entire argument seemed very weak because I'd already shot down his points before he'd even brought them up. In sales training, salespeople are taught to shoot down any objections a customer might have before he can bring them up. Similarly, if you can shoot down any objections your target might have before he even brings them up, you'll leave your target no choice but to say "yes" to your request. So, here's the key takeaway: Present what seems to be a balanced argument and then shoot down the opposing arguments in order to inoculate your prospect against counter-persuasion attempts.

# 15 - THE "DON'T BE AN IDIOT" STRATEGY

Here's the most important way to be seen as an expert: be one! In order to be seen as a competent person, you need to be a competent person. This means that you constantly need to be investing in yourself by attending seminars and workshops and getting mentorship from other experts in your field. I just came back from a meeting where I accompanied one of the sales executives in my company to meet a prospective customer. I went with her to evaluate her sales skills and to see what areas she might require training in. The company I work with deals in the IT sector, so salespeople need to be experts on IT related matters. However, during the meeting, it became very clear that the sales executive lacked IT knowledge. She was unable to answer the client's technical questions - and it became obvious from the client's body language that he was beginning to doubt our competence. As a result of lack of knowledge, we lost that sale. The salesperson failed to persuade the client because she didn't know what she was selling. She wasn't an expert on the solution she was selling. Last night, I was watching a video by John Maxwell, and in the video he said something that struck a chord with me. He said, "You cannot give what you do not have." Convincing your prospect to do something is really about getting your prospect to buy into your expertise - to believe that you have specialized knowledge that they do not have and that it will benefit them. However, if you do not have expertise, you cannot sell your expertise. You can try to fake it, but your prospect will detect your deception. Thus, the best strategy for being perceived as an expert - as a credible source of information - is to actually be one!

# 16 - THE YES LADDER: PUTTING YOUR TARGET INTO AN AGREEMENT MINDSET

How do you get your target into an agreement mindset? First and most obvious, make sure that your target is in a positive mood before you try to persuade him/her. Now here's the less obvious part. It's one of my favorite techniques. I call it the "yes ladder." With this technique, you ask your target a series of questions to which you know he/she will say "yes." Alternatively, you can make statements that your target agrees with. These questions and statements don't necessarily have to be related to the idea/product you're trying to sell. The idea behind this technique is not to try to persuade your target just yet - it is to put her into an agreement mindset so that she will be more likely to say "yes" when you do try. Does this technique work? As the research by Jing Xu and Robert Wyer shows, people who watched speeches that agreed with their worldviews (and thus put them in an agreement mode) were more easily persuaded by the advertisements that they watched. We can thus safely assume that this technique works not just for ads, but also for general persuasion attempts. The other benefit of the "yes ladder" technique (especially if you're making statements which your target agrees with) is that it builds rapport between you and your target. It shows your target that you are similar to him/her, and as we discovered in Chapter 1, similarity creates liking, which in turn makes it easier for you to persuade people. Next time you try to persuade someone, first put them into an agreement mindset by asking them questions or making statements that your targets agree with.

#6 THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT, GEEK STREET AND OTHER COOL TECHNIQUES: THE EXPERTISE ADVANTAGE

However, even then, you will encounter resistance if people doubt your credibility - if they don't believe that you're an expert on the solution or idea you're selling. On the other hand, if you do come across as an expert - as a credible source of information - then it's going to be much easier to get people to do what you want them to do. According to a paper written by Eric Jaso: "...research done by Tsai, Chin, and Chen (2010) concerning the effects of trust and expertise from salespersons and the consumer's intention to purchase nutraceuticals reveals further correlation between source expertise and persuasive success. "In the study, salespersons with high expertise attempted to sell nutraceuticals to customers. The study revealed that the consumers who felt the salespersons were competent were more likely to purchase the nutraceuticals, 'since nutraceuticals are complex products with medicine-like effects, if the salesperson appears to have sound medical knowledge, this might help consumers to have a better understanding of the properties of the nutraceuticals, and increase their purchase intention' (Tsai et al., 2010, p. 283)." - Eric Jaso, "The Dimensions of Source Credibility and Salesperson Persuasion" Since the correlation between expertise and persuasion is clear, let's have a look at how you can establish your credibility and expertise.

Why these 26 strategies?

I believe that these twenty-six strategies provide an outline that you can use in almost any situation. I may be biased, but they're among the most interesting techniques I've learned.

#24: CLEAR NEXT STEP: THE NEXT STEP

If you're a reservation agent at a hotel in charge of getting potential guests who call to secure their reservation, then (as the following study shows) ask the callers, "So, should I go ahead and secure your reservation?" In a study entitled "The factors that lead to more reservations: A statistical analysis of scored phone calls and bookings," researchers analyzed 4,400 recorded phone calls from 30 hotels. The researchers were trying to figure out what techniques hotel employees were using that led to a customer making a reservation. The results of the study were very interesting. It turns out that simply offering to secure a reservation made it 440% more likely that the caller would make the reservation! In other words, by giving the caller an exact next step - "should I go ahead and secure your reservation?" - the caller was 4.4 times more likely to make the reservation. Whatever it is that you're trying to persuade your prospect to do, make sure that you end with a request that makes it crystal clear what action your prospect should take next in order to comply with your request.

#20 - THE MINT SWEET/COKE GIFT

In another study that was conducted on the power of reciprocation, researchers discovered that waiters who gave their patrons a mint along with their bill received bigger tips than those who did not. Furthermore, when the waiters gave their patrons a second mint and said that it was especially for them, the tips increased by 20 percent! What's interesting about reciprocation is that usually, the size of what you receive will exceed the size of what you give. This can be seen clearly in this study where the monetary value of the tip given far exceeded the monetary value of the mint. This phenomenon is also very clear in this next research study. In a 1971 research study conducted by Dennis Regan of Cornell University, participants (also called "subjects") were paired up for an "art appreciation" experiment. However, what the subjects didn't know was that their partner - "Joe" - was actually Regan's assistant. During the experiment, Joe would take a short break and return again after some time. Now, here's where the experiment got interesting - for some of the subjects, Joe would return with a soft drink, which he would give to the subject. For some of the other subjects, the assistant came back with nothing. Next, the assistant would ask the subject to do him a favor and buy some raffle tickets. What do you think happened? Which group do you think purchased more raffle tickets - the group that was gifted the soft drink, or the control group that received nothing? As expected, the group that received the soft drink was more likely to purchase the raffle tickets, even though they had not asked for the soft drink and even though the cost of the raffle tickets was greater than the cost of the drink. WIDENING THE WINDOW OF PERSUASION What this clearly demonstrates is that doing something nice for your prospect - doing your prospect a small favor even though they may not have asked for it - will induce the law of reciprocity. Your prospect will unconsciously feel a natural desire to do something in return for you. This doesn't necessarily mean that they will buy from you. However, they will become more receptive to what you have to say. The window of persuasion will widen so that you can more easily sell your ideas and your products. While reciprocation is a great persuasion tool, I advise you to use it with caution. Go in with the mindset of genuinely helping your prospect. However, if you use reciprocation simply to manipulate your prospect, they will get a gut feeling that your favors are not genuine and this will backfire against you. If you do favors for your prospect with the intention of helping them, over time you will build a strong friendship with them and they will come to trust you. Once that happens, it's not a matter of if they will buy from you - it's simply a matter of when.

#4 - GO THE EDGE

In his book, World Class Speaking, Craig Valentine classifies the different benefits that motivate people into the acronym EDGE, which stands for: Esteem More. An "esteem-benefit" focuses on how your prospect will experience greater confidence and have more self-esteem because of saying "yes" to your request. Also, it focuses on how other people in your target's circle will hold him/her in greater esteem (e.g. people will respect and appreciate him/her more) as a result of complying with your request. Do More. A "do-more" benefit focuses on how your target will manage to get a lot more done (i.e. be more productive) as a result of saying "yes" to you. Gain More. A "gain-more" benefit focuses on what your prospect will gain as a result of agreeing to your request (e.g. gain more money, gain more time, etc.). Enjoy More. An "enjoy-more" benefit focuses on the pleasure your target will experience (e.g. have more fun, experience more happiness, etc.). For your sales pitch, it would be safe to cover at least one major benefit from each of the EDGE elements. However, if you know that your target is more interested in one of the elements than the others, then spend most of your time exploring that benefit in detail. For some people, this may be making more money whereas for others it may be experiencing greater happiness in life. It is your job as a persuader to make sure you know what motivates your target. Research your target to find out which EDGE benefit they place greatest emphasis on. Always frame your persuasion attempts in terms of what benefits your target will receive.

# 11 - THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT, GEEK STREET AND OTHER COOL TECHNIQUES: GEEK STREET

It's great to be perceived as an expert, but it's more important to be an expert. The best way to gain expertise in your chosen field is to read great books on your topic - become a book geek. I read a minimum of 70 books every year, sometimes reading as many as 120. I read religiously every day to expand my knowledge base and to continually keep growing in my profession. The only reason I was able to blog consistently and write great books was because I am a great reader. Develop the habit of reading every day - even if it's one or two pages daily. There is a saying that "average people have big TVs, extraordinary people have big libraries." Through my research on success, I have found this to be true. Extraordinary people - people who have reached the top of their professions, like Bill Gates, Oprah, Bill Clinton - are all voracious readers. If you want to be an expert, you should be one too. You're already on the right track since you're reading this book.

#25 THE COUNTERINTUITIVE PERSUASION TECHNIQUE THAT WORKS!: THE BYAF TECHNIQUE

Now, consider that the person who's asked you to fill out the survey adds the following: "Please don't feel obliged to fill out the form, but I would appreciate it if you did." This is called the "BYAF" ("but you are free") technique. How would that affect your decision? Would you be more or less willing to say yes? According to studies, it would. It turns out that the best way to get someone to do something for you is to tell them that they don't have to. Using the BYAF technique can double your chances of getting a "yes." Why? Because people don't like being pressured into making decisions - telling someone they have to do something causes psychological reactance in your prospect: "It is assumed that if a person's behavioral freedom is threatened or reduced, they become motivationally aroused. The fear of loss of further freedoms can spark this arousal and motivate them to re-establish the threatened freedom. Because this motivational state is a result of the perceived reduction of one's freedom of action, it is considered a counterforce, and thus is called 'psychological reactance.'" - Wikipedia Haven't you found this to be true in your life - that being told not to do something makes you want to do it more? It even works if you restrict your own freedom. For example, I have found the following to be true. When I tell myself that, "I'm going to go on a strict diet. I can't eat chocolate for the next year," my desire to eat chocolate increases! Side note: To combat this, I tell myself, "I can eat chocolate, but I choose not to." This affirms my freedom - especially my freedom to choose. I have found that when I reaffirm my freedom to choose, I am much more likely to stick to my commitments. Try it out. Similarly, when you reaffirm your prospect's freedom to choose, you avoid psychological reactance. You remove any pressure associated with the request, which makes your encounter - from your prospect's point of view - much more pleasant. Does the actual wording of the BYAF technique matter? No. You can use whatever phrase you desire - "you are free to choose," "don't feel obliged," "you are free to say no." As long as you reaffirm your prospect's freedom to choose and say no, you will - ironically - increase your chances of getting a "yes." Next time you want to persuade someone to do something for you, use the BYAF technique. As long as your request is reasonable, using the BYAF technique will increase the chances that your prospect will go along with what you say.

#23: THE ROKIA TECHNIQUE

Now, let's look at an experiment conducted by Deborah Small, George Lowenstein and Paul Slovic. In the experiment, the participants were given a questionnaire to fill out and handed a $5 reward for doing so. Now, here comes the interesting part of the experiment. After the participants had received the $5 bill, they were given information about a food shortage problem and asked how much of their $5 they wanted to donate to help solve the problem. However, not everyone received the same type of information. One group (we'll call them Group A) received the following information: "Food shortages in Malawi are affecting more than three million children. In Zambia, severe rainfall deficits have resulted in a 42% drop in maize production from 2000. As a result, an estimated three million Zambians face hunger. Four million Angolans - one-third of the population - have been forced to flee their homes. More than 11 million people in Ethiopia need immediate food assistance." The other group - Group B - received the following information: "Any money that you donate will go to Rokia, a seven-year-old girl who lives in Mali in Africa. Rokia is desperately poor and faces a threat of severe hunger, even starvation. Her life will be changed for the better as a result of your financial gift. With your support, and the support of other caring sponsors, Save the Children will work with Rokia's family and other members of the community to help feed and educate her, and provide her with basic medical care." Which group do you think gave more money? Was it the group that received the statistical information about the seriousness of the problem? Or was it the group that received the story about Rokia? Well, let's have a look at the experiment results. It turns out that that participants in Group A (the statistics group) donated only 23 percent of their earnings whereas participants in Group B (the story group) donated more than double that, 48 percent. The story about Rokia's struggle with hunger elicited a much more powerful response from people than statistics about the problem. While statistics do add credibility to your persuasion attempts, stories are much more powerful when it comes to persuading people to take actions. Once you arouse people's emotions, they'll be open to taking the recommended course of action. So here's the key takeaway lesson. Next time you try to get someone to do something for you, use a story to persuade them.

HOW TO GET PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU (IN 90 SECONDS OR LESS): #1 Two Birds of a Feather

Purpose: It's no secret that people are more likely to do what you want when they like you (as compared with when people don't know you, or worse - don't like you!). Isn't it true that - no matter what the request - you're generally more likely to say "Yes" to someone you like than to someone you don't know? From my extensive research, I have found that developing "likeability" is the first step in persuasion. If you can get the other person to like you, you're in a great position to get him/her to agree to your request. However, don't just take my word for it. This book is about the science of persuasion, so let's examine the science behind likeability. In a study conducted by Frenzen and Davis (Jonathan K. Frenzen and Harry L. Davis, "Purchasing Behavior in Embedded Markets"), Frenzen and Davis examined the influence of liking on purchasing decisions at Tupperware parties. Side note: In case you don't know what a Tupperware party is, it is a party where the Tupperware salesperson invites their friends and neighbors into their home to see (and hopefully buy) the product line. In their study, Frenzen and Davis wanted to examine what was the more important factor in making a purchasing decision: the products themselves or the guests' liking for their host? You would expect that since the guests would have to pay to purchase the Tupperware products, the most important factor in the purchasing decision would be the guests' opinions of the products. After all, guests were there for the products, not for the host, right? However, Frenzen and Davis's research found that that this wasn't true. It turns out the guests' liking for their host was twice as important (as compared to their opinion of the products) in influencing purchasing decisions. In other words, if you were hosting a Tupperware party, your likeability would be a better indicator of sales than your guests' opinion of the actual products themselves! This isn't exactly breakthrough knowledge. It's common sense that it's easier to persuade people who like you than to persuade those who don't have positive feelings towards you. However, what's important to note from Frenzen and Davis's research is the fact that likeability is a lot more important in persuasion than we might have initially suspected (even more important than the products we are selling). So, how do you develop likeability? How do get someone who you barely know to instantly like you so that they will buy your products and ideas? #1 - "TWO BIRDS OF A FEATHER" One of the easiest ways to become likeable is to demonstrate similarity with the target person. Demonstrating to the target person that you are in some way similar to them ("two birds of a feather") has been proven to cause the other person to like you more and be more willing to comply with your requests (as compared to if you didn't have anything in common). Consider a study conducted by Aune and Basil (Aune & Basil, 1994). In the study, a fundraiser on a college campus managed to more than double the contributions received simply by claiming a shared identity with the target person (i.e. saying, "I'm a student too!"). Isn't that amazing? Contributions doubled simply because the fundraiser demonstrated that he was similar to the person he was seeking a contribution from. What this study shows is that even superficial similarity between two people can create instant liking (which leads to greater compliance). When trying to persuade people, first create liking by demonstrating that you are similar to the person you are trying to persuade. Do you have a common hobby? Or some kind of shared interest? If so, start your conversation by talking about your common hobby. Only after you've created a bond by talking about a shared interest should you try to persuade the other person to do whatever it is that you want them to do. Researchers have also found that apart from demonstrating similarity by talking about a shared identity, you can also create liking by dressing similarly to the person you are trying to persuade. Researchers have discovered that people are more likely to help out a stranger when he is dressed similarly to them than when he isn't. Why is it that similarity leads to liking? Because it doesn't make sense to dislike someone who is like us! These people conform to our view of how the world works, and therefore we like them for it. Next time you are trying to persuade someone, consider first subtly pointing out and talking about your shared similarities.

# 12 -THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT, GEEK STREET AND OTHER COOL TECHNIQUES: THE SPEAKER'S BLESSING

Speaking in public is a brilliant way to demonstrate your expertise. After I'd created my blog, I emailed high schools, universities, chambers of commerce and business associations offering to run training sessions for them for free. That's right - I did it for free because the aim wasn't to make money, it was to establish my expertise. After speaking at these universities and associations, I was able to feature their logos (with their permission) on my website. This increased my credibility when I interacted with prospects and thus they were more willing to buy from me. What's your area of expertise? I encourage you to email and call up universities and any relevant organizations, offering to run free training courses for them. Not only will you establish yourself as a local expert in your field, you might also end up with new clients (I did!).

#21 - THE SITCOM LAUGHTER TRACK

Television studios realize the power of social proof, which is why a lot of TV sitcoms contain canned laughter. Research has found that people who view sitcoms that have laughter tracks find the sitcoms to be funnier than sitcoms that don't. Why? Because the canned laughter serves as social proof, and when we hear people laughing (even if it is canned laughter), it causes us to laugh too. One of my favorite TV shows is the American sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. I think that the show is hilarious. Recently, when I was watching the YouTube clips of the show, I came across a clip where the person who'd uploaded the clip had decided to get rid of the laughter tracks. When I watched the clip without the laughter track, it didn't seem so funny anymore! In another example of the power of social proof, researchers who joined a door-to-door charity campaign found that the longer the list of prior donors, the more likely it was that the person being solicited would donate as well. What does this mean for you? If you're trying to persuade someone to do something, then use social proof to do so. Tell the person about how many other people who are similar to him are using your product/service/idea. If relevant, provide testimonials to demonstrate social proof and show that people are happy because of following your recommended course of action. NEGATIVE SOCIAL PROOF Social proof encourages more of the behavior that is being advertised. In other words, if a person sees that your blog post has been shared by thousands of people he is more likely to share it too. If a sitcom viewer hears watches a show with a laugh track, she is more likely to laugh too. The important point is: whichever action is demonstrated as being the one most people are taking is the one that other people will follow (whether you want it or not). Why is this an important point? Because people sometimes don't realize the unintended consequences of social proof.

# 14 - THE ANECDOTAL TESTIMONY

The above strategies will help establish you as an expert. However, there is no guarantee that your prospect will check out your blog, or watch your media interviews. Despite your best efforts to become well known locally as an expert, your prospect might not have heard of you. What do you do in this case? How can you establish your expertise on the spot? One of the easiest ways to gain credibility, demonstrate your competence and establish your expertise is to showcase testimonials from previous clients. There are two ways to do this. The first way is to casually slip in stories about your previous clients. During your conversation with your prospect, share a story about someone who is similar to them who benefitted from the idea or product you are selling. This story serves as anecdotal proof that your ideas and products work, and that you know what you're talking about. However, make sure you slip this story very casually into the conversation. You do this by using natural conversational transitions such as, "By the way, I had a client similar to you..." or "That reminds me of a client who..." In any case, make sure that your prospect doesn't feel like you're trying to hard sell them. People don't like hard sells. They don't like being persuaded. Your persuasion attempt should be very soft and disguised as a casual conversation, not a sales pitch. You should ask plenty of questions and allow for back-and-forth dialogue instead of delivering a one-sided sales pitch.

# 10 - THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT, GEEK STREET AND OTHER COOL TECHNIQUES: AUTHOR TO AUTHORITY

The next step towards establishing myself as an expert was to write a book. When people see that you've written a book, they instantly perceive you as an expert on that topic - after all, you wrote a book on it! I spent two years researching and writing my first book, and since then have self-published six books on various different topics from public speaking to persuasion to personal productivity. Writing these books takes hard work and commitment, but having readers post positive reviews about the book on Amazon has helped solidify my status as an expert. In fact, through my books, I even landed a major speaking gig in Dubai. If possible, I encourage you to write a book. Not only will your prospects begin to view you as an expert once they find out that you've written a book, it will help you become an expert because writing a book requires a lot of research and self-study. # 11 - GEEK STREET It's great to be perceived as an expert, but it's more important to be an expert. The best way to gain expertise in your chosen field is to read great books on your topic - become a book geek. I read a minimum of 70 books every year, sometimes reading as many as 120. I read religiously every day to expand my knowledge base and to continually keep growing in my profession. The only reason I was able to blog consistently and write great books was because I am a great reader. Develop the habit of reading every day - even if it's one or two pages daily. There is a saying that "average people have big TVs, extraordinary people have big libraries." Through my research on success, I have found this to be true. Extraordinary people - people who have reached the top of their professions, like Bill Gates, Oprah, Bill Clinton - are all voracious readers. If you want to be an expert, you should be one too. You're already on the right track since you're reading this book. # 12 - THE SPEAKER'S BLESSING Speaking in public is a brilliant way to demonstrate your expertise. After I'd created my blog, I emailed high schools, universities, chambers of commerce and business associations offering to run training sessions for them for free. That's right - I did it for free because the aim wasn't to make money, it was to establish my expertise. After speaking at these universities and associations, I was able to feature their logos (with their permission) on my website. This increased my credibility when I interacted with prospects and thus they were more willing to buy from me. What's your area of expertise? I encourage you to email and call up universities and any relevant organizations, offering to run free training courses for them. Not only will you establish yourself as a local expert in your field, you might also end up with new clients (I did!).

When the strategies dont' work?

The other person absolutely doesn't want to do what you're asking them do. If someone is completely against doing what you're asking them to do (e.g. because it goes against their values and morals), it's going to very difficult to persuade them. You can't persuade someone who isn't even willing to hear you out. However, as long as you're talking to someone who is willing to hear your point of view, these strategies are designed to improve your odds of getting a "yes." You're trying to manipulate the other person into doing something that's not good for them. People aren't stupid. If you're trying to manipulate the other person into doing something that will be harmful to them (physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially), no technique will help you succeed.

HOW TO GET PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU (IN 90 SECONDS OR LESS): #3 - "MAY I COMPLIMENT THEE?"

We tend to like people who like us. I learned this concept first-hand as a high school teenager. When I found out that a girl in my class liked me, I began to like her too - even though previously I hadn't paid much attention to her. One of the best ways to get someone interested in you is to be interested in them. Similarly, to get someone to like you, you have to like them first. However, that raises the question: How do you get the other person to realize that you like them? One of the easiest ways to show people you like them is to compliment them. One study (Drachman, de Carufel and Insko, 1978), found that men who received compliments developed positive feelings towards the person who gave the compliment. This was true even when the men receiving the compliments knew that that the person complimenting them wanted a favor from them. Next time you want to persuade someone, gain their liking by liking them first. Show your liking for them by genuinely complimenting them. UNLOCK YOUR PERSUASION POWER Two Birds of a Feather: At Tupperware parties, guests' liking for their host is twice as important (as compared to their opinion of the products) in influencing purchasing decisions. When dealing with prospects, be friendly, courteous and polite. Are you likeable? People are more likely to help out a stranger when he is dressed similarly to them than when he isn't. Are you dressing similarly to your prospect? The George Clooney/Halle Berry Effect: According to research, attractive political candidates receive two-and-a-half times as many votes as non-attractive ones. Also, attractive fundraisers receive twice as many donations as non-attractive ones. Are you well groomed? "May I Compliment Thee?" People who receive compliments develop positive feelings towards the person who gave the compliment. Are you genuinely complimenting your prospect?

#19 - THE MINT SWEET AND OTHER EXPERIMENTS: "HOW CAN I HELP YOU?"

When I was at the university, one of my negotiation professors - Stephen Nason - shared a story of how he managed to close a very tough deal using the law of reciprocation. He had been employed as a negotiator for a multinational company that did business in China. One day, while working, Stephen received a call from a large client who threatened to stop doing business with Stephen's firm if Stephen did not reduce the prices of his goods. Later that day, Stephen met up with the client. They met at the client's offices, and after hours of negotiations, it was clear that the talks were getting nowhere. Finally, frustrated with their progress, the two men decided go to a bar for drinks. There, they began to chat about their life, and the conversation soon steered to the two men's families. Notice how they began to build up liking towards each other by talking about shared experiences and interests. Stephen found out that his client had a daughter who hoped to attend the same university that he had attended. Furthermore, she was hoping to get a scholarship at the university. Stephen knew some people who worked at the university, so later that night he connected his client's daughters to some of the university staff who guided her through the admissions process. Later that week, Stephen and the client met up once again. This time around, the client began by thanking Stephen for helping his daughter. Instead of threatening to terminate the relationship with Stephen's firm, he was more open to exploring how they could both have a win-win situation. In the end, Stephen was able to keep the client on board. The client accepted that there would not be a reduction in the prices, but they were able to work out a payment arrangement that both parties were happy with. Why do I share this story with you? Because it's a powerful example of the law of reciprocation. The client was very initially very hostile, but after Stephen found a way to do something nice for him by helping out his daughter, the client felt (consciously or unconsciously) obligated to stop being hostile and help Stephen out in return by being more open to his side of the argument. As a result, the two parties were able to work out a deal that they were both happy with. If you're trying to persuade your prospect to do something, and you're encountering a lot of resistance, then it might be a good idea to stop trying to persuade them and think about what your prospect values and what you can do to help them. Ask yourself, "How can I help this person?" Next, when the right opportunity arises, do something nice for them - perhaps refer them to a prospective customer for their business. Do this without any expectation of getting anything in return - do it just because you genuinely want to help your prospect, not because you want to gain something from them in return. Finally, wait for some time to pass before you approach your prospect again to try to persuade them. The reason you have to wait for some time to pass between doing them a favor and trying to persuade them again is because you do not want your client to feel manipulated. If your client feels that you helped them simply to get something from them in return, they will become resistant to your persuasion attempt.

#5 - THE "STAR WARS" TOOTHBRUSH TECHNIQUE

When trying to persuade your target, always make sure that you try to make your benefits as specific as possible. For example, when I try to persuade corporations to hire me as a public speaking trainer, instead of saying, "Your employees will be better speakers," I say, "You're employees will walk away from my seminar twice as good as when they first came in!" According to research studies, specific benefits are more memorable, exciting and perceived as being more credible than non-specific benefits. Specifics paint a clear picture of the benefits in your target's mind and thus create excitement. Consider the difference between me telling you, "If you participate in this lottery, you stand the chance to go on a relaxing vacation!" and "If you participate in this lottery, you stand the chance to win an all-expenses-paid, two-week vacation in Mauritius!" Which one could you see in your mind? I'm betting it was the latter. The "all-expenses-paid, two-week vacation in Mauritius" probably had you picturing yourself sitting on a nice, sunny beach in Mauritius. That's the power of specifics! In a 1986 experiment conducted by Jonathan Shedler and Melvin Manis at the University of Michigan, participants were assigned the role of a juror. As part of the experiment, the participants were given a case to read and asked to decide whether they thought Mrs. Johnson was capable of continuing to care for her seven-year-old son. Some of the participants were given Case A to read whereas some of the others were given Case B. This is part of what the participants read in the respective cases: CASE A (FOR Mrs Johnson): "Mrs. Johnson sees to it that her child washes and brushes his teeth before bedtime. He uses a "Star Wars" toothbrush that looks like Darth Vader." CASE B (FOR Mrs Johnson): "Mrs. Johnson sees to it that her child washes and brushes his teeth before bedtime." CASE A (AGAINST Mrs Johnson): "The child was sent to school with a badly scraped arm, which Mrs. Johnson had not cleaned or attended to. The school nurse had to clean the scrape." CASE B (AGAINST Mrs Johnson): "The child was sent to school with a badly scraped arm, which Mrs. Johnson had not cleaned or attended to. The school nurse had to clean the scrape. As the nurse was cleaning the scrape, she spilled Mercurochrome on herself, staining her uniform red." Did you pick up the subtle difference between Case A and Case B? Case A contained the specific detail of the child using a "Star Wars" toothbrush and Case B contained the specific detail of the nurse "staining her uniform red." The researchers were curious to see whether these two details (which, according to common sense, should not make a difference in people's judgment of Mrs. Johnson's ability as a mother) would affect the participants' decisions. Surprisingly, it turned out that they did! Those who read Case A (the one that contained the specific detail about the "Star Wars" toothbrush) rated Mrs Johnson, on average, a 5.8 in terms of suitability as a mother, whereas those who read Case B only rated her a 4.3 (out of 10). What this research illustrates is that specific details unconsciously impact people's decisions. Specifics make it easier for listeners to imagine the situation, which in turn makes the situation seem more real and credible than it really is. Next time you to try to persuade someone, be sure to include lots of specific benefits that paint vivid pictures in your target's mind. The better your target can picture the benefits, the more likely he/she is to say "yes" to your request.

#7 - THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT, GEEK STREET AND OTHER COOL TECHNIQUES: "SEE MY DECORATED WALL?"

he quickest way to establish your expertise is by showcasing your relevant credentials and achievements. Can you think of a time when you were ever swayed by someone's credentials and achievements? Perhaps you walked into someone's office and saw their wall decorated with degrees and awards? How did that make you feel? Did you trust that person more? Let me put it to you another way: Who would you be more willing to take business advice from - a high school dropout or a Harvard MBA graduate? I'm betting, given all other things are the same, you're more likely to pay for business advice from the person with the MBA. So, why are degrees and awards such great credibility boosters? Because they serve as proof that the person who has been granted the degree or the award has sufficient expertise of the subject matter in question. While this isn't necessarily true, it's hard to argue that having a degree or winning an award increases your perceived credibility. Given this, here's my tip to you: If you do have several degrees, awards and qualifications, hang those up on your office wall. When prospects walk into your office, they will notice the awards and the degrees, and unconsciously they will begin to see you as an expert in that field. Side note: I didn't say that you should tell your prospect about your degrees and awards. Starting your conversation with, "I have a PhD in microbiology and recently was awarded the XYZ Prize for outstanding contributions to science..." is a surefire way for getting your prospect to dislike you. You'll come across as an arrogant, pompous jerk and if your prospects don't like you, they won't buy from you (whether it's your ideas or your products). Avoid talking about your awards and achievements - it's better for your prospect to see them (if possible) or hear about them from someone else. If this isn't possible (e.g. if it's not possible to meet in your office), then don't push it - there are plenty of other ways to increase your perceived credibility. Of course, there is a caveat to this: Make sure the qualifications are relevant to the idea or product you're pitching. If you're selling medical products but your degree is in ancient history, it's not going to do much for your credibility.

# 9 - THE EXPERT SPILLOVER EFFECT, GEEK STREET AND OTHER COOL TECHNIQUES: "I'M A BLOGGER, BABY!"

o establish myself as an expert on communication and persuasion, I started a blog where I shared advice and research about communication. I blogged once a week for a period of one year, sharing my best advice for free. I shared my articles on my social media pages, and soon I began to gather a small fan base. During that period, I went from having zero followers to having 1,600 email subscribers. More importantly, my friends on my social media pages began to see me as an expert and began to refer potential clients to me. Not only that, potential clients began to find me on the web and contact me to train them. I was even approached by the training director of Morgan Stanley (Hong Kong) to train their staff on public speaking and storytelling skills.