7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 4: Six paradigms of human interaction: Lose-Win

"I lose, you win." Lose-Win people are quick to please and appease, and seek strength from popularity or acceptance.

Habit 4: Six paradigms of human interaction: Win-Lose

"If I win, you lose." Win-Lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, and personality to get their way.

Habit 6: The combination of all the other habits prepares us for Habit 6, which is the habit of synergy or...

"When one plus one equals three or more and the whole is great than the sum of its parts."

Habit 6: Synergy allows you to:

- Value the differences in other people as a way to expand your perspective - Sidestep negative energy and look for the good in others - Exercise courage in interdependent situations to be open and encourage others to be open - Catalyze creativity and find a solution that will be better for everyone by looking for a third alternative

Habit 5: When we listen autobiographically -- in other words, with our own perspective as our frame of reference -- we tend to respond in one of four ways: EPAI

1. Evaluate: Agree or disagree with what is said 2. Probe: Ask questions from our own frame of reference 3. Advise: Give counsel based on our own experience 4. Interpret: Try to figure out the person's motives and behavior based on our own motives and behavior

HABIT 1: Reactive people take a...

A passive stance -- they believe that the world is happening to them. They think the problem is "out there" -- but that thought is the problem. Reactivity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and reactive people feel increasingly victimized and out of control.

Habit 4: Six paradigms of human interaction: Lose-Lose

Both people lose. When two Win-Lose people get together -- that is, when two determined, stubborn, ego-invested individuals interact -- the result will be Lose-Lose.

Habit 4: Six paradigms of human interaction: Win-Win

Both people win. Agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying to both parties.

HABIT 1: Reactive people focus on things that are in their Circle of...

Concern but not in their Circle of Influence, which leads to blaming external factors, emanating negative energy, and causing their Circle of Influence to shrink.

Time Management Matrix: Quadrant 1

If we focus on Quadrant I and spend our time managing crises and problems, it keeps getting bigger and bigger until it consumes us. These leads to stress, burnout, and constantly putting out fires.

Time Management Matrix: Quadrant 3

If we focus on Quadrant III, we spend most of our time reacting to matters that seem urgent, when the reality is their perceived urgency is based on the priorities and expectations of others. This leads to short-term focus, feeling out of control, and shallow or broken relationships.

Time Management Matrix: Quadrant 4

If we focus on Quadrant IV, we are basically leading an irresponsible life. This often leads to getting fired from jobs and being highly dependent on others.

Habit 4: Six paradigms of human interaction: Win-Win or No Deal

If you can't reach an agreement that is mutually beneficial, there is no deal.

HABIT 1: n order to be proactive, we must focus on the Circle of...

Influence that lies within our Circle of Concern-- in other words, we must work on the things we can do something about.

Habit 4: The Win-Win or No Deal option is important to use as a backup. When we have No Deal as an option in our mind it...

It liberates us from needing to manipulate people and push our own agenda. We can be open and really try to understand the underlying issues.

Habit 4: Six paradigms of human interaction: Win

People with the Win mentality don't necessarily want someone else to lose -- that's irrelevant. What matters is that they get what they want.

Habit 7: There are four dimensions of our nature, and each must be exercised regularly, and in balanced ways: PSME

Physical Dimension Spiritual Dimension Mental Dimension Social/Emotional Dimension

HABIT 1: Proactive people

Proactive people recognize that they have responsibility -- or "response-ability," which Covey defines as the ability to choose how you will respond to a given stimulus or situation.

Time Management Matrix: Quadrant 2

Quadrant II is at the heart of effective personal management. It deals with things like building relationships, long-term planning, exercising, preparation -- all things we know we need to do but somehow seldom get around to actually doing, because they don't feel urgent.

Habit 6: ;So how can we introduce synergy to a given situation or environment?

Start with habits 4 and 5 -- you must think Win-Win and seek first to understand. Once you have these in mind, you can pool your desires with those of the other person or group. And then you're not on opposite sides of the problem -- you're together on one side, looking at the problem, understanding all the needs, and working to create a third alternative that will meet them.

Habit 4: Another important factor in solving for Win-Win situations is maintaining an Abundance Mentality...

The belief that there's plenty out there for everyone.

HABIT 1: Be Proactive

The first habit that Covey discusses is being proactive. What distinguishes us as humans from all other animals is our inherent ability to examine our own character, to decide how to view ourselves and our situations, and to control our own effectiveness. Put simply, in order to be effective one must be proactive.

Habit 7: Physical Dimension:

The goal of continuous physical improvement is to exercise our body in a way that will enhance our capacity to work, adapt, and enjoy. To renew ourselves physically, we must: - Eat well - Get sufficient rest and relaxation - Exercise on a regular basis to build endurance, flexibility, and strength Focusing on the physical dimension helps develop Habit 1 muscles of proactivity. We act based on the value of well-being instead of reacting to the forces that keep us from fitness.

Habit 7: Mental Dimension:

The goal of renewing our mental health is to continue expanding our mind. To renew yourself mentally, you can: - Read good literature - Keep a journal of your thoughts, experiences, and insights - Limit television watching to only those programs that enrich your life and mind Focusing on our mental dimension helps us practice Habit 3 by managing ourselves effectively to maximize the use of our time and resources.

Habit 7: Spiritual Dimension:

The goal of renewing our spiritual self is to provide leadership to our life and reinforce your commitment to our value system. To renew yourself spiritually, you can: - Practice daily meditation - Communicate with nature - Immerse yourself in great literature or music A focus on our spiritual dimension helps us practice Habit 2, as we continuously revise and commit ourselves to our values, so we can begin with the end in mind.

Habit 7: Social/Emotional Dimension:

The goal of renewing ourselves socially is to develop meaningful relationships. To renew yourself emotionally, you can: - Seek to deeply understand other people - Make contributions to meaningful projects that improve the lives of others - Maintain an Abundance Mentality, and seek to help others find success Renewing our social and emotional dimension helps us practice Habits 4, 5, and 6 by recognizing that Win-Win solutions do exist, seeking to understand others, and finding mutually beneficial third alternatives through synergy.

Habit 2: Before we as individuals or organizations can start setting and achieving goals, we must be able to identify our

Values. This process may involve some rescripting to be able to assert our own personal values.

Habit 3: All activities can be categorized based on two factors: Urgent and important.

We react to urgent matters. We spend our time doing things that are not important. That means that we neglect Quadrant II, which is the actually most crucial of them all.

Habit 4: The best option is to create...

Win-Win situations. With Win-Lose, or Lose-Win, one person appears to get what he wants for the moment, but the results will negatively impact the relationship between those two people going forward.

Habit 6: Synergy

allows us to uncover new possibilities through openness and creativity.

Habit 2 suggests that, in everything we do, we should

begin with the end in mind. Start with a clear destination. That way, we can make sure the steps we're taking are in the right direction.

Habit 6: Synergy allows us to..

create new alternatives and open new possibilities. It allows us as a group to collectively agree to ditch the old scripts and write new ones

HABIT 2: Covey says we can use our imagination to...

develop a vision of what we want to become and use our conscience to decide what values will guide us.

Habit 4: In order to establish effective...

interdependent relationships, we must commit to creating Win-Win situations that are mutually beneficial and satisfying to each party.

Habit 2: Our self-awareness empowers us to shape our own lives, instead of...

living our lives by default, or based on the standards or preferences of others.

Habit 4: The Scarcity Mentality

meaning they act as though everything is zero-sum (in other words, if you get it, I don't). People with the Scarcity Mentality have a very hard time sharing recognition or credit and find it difficult to be genuinely happy about other people's successes.

HABIT 3: In order to manage ourselves effectively, we must...

put first things first. We must have the discipline to prioritize our day-to-day actions based on what is most important, not what is most urgent.

Habit 7 is focused around...

renewal, or taking time to "sharpen the saw." It surrounds all of the other habits and makes each one possible by preserving and enhancing your greatest asset -- yourself.

Habit 7: To be effective, we must devote the time to...

renewing ourselves physically, spiritually, mentally, and socially. Continuous renewal allows us to synergistically increase our ability to practice each habit.

Habit 5: Before we can offer advice, suggest solutions, or effectively interact with another person in any way, we must...

seek to deeply understand them and their perspective through empathic listening.

Habit 6:By understanding and valuing the differences in another person's perspective, we have the opportunity to create...

synergy

Habit 3: In order to maintain the discipline and the focus to stay on track toward our goals, we need to have...

the willpower to do something when we don't want to do it. We need to act according to our values rather than our desires or impulses at any given moment.

Habit 6: The real essence of synergy is

valuing the differences -- the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between people.

HABIT 2: We work hard to achieve...

victories -- promotions, higher income, more recognition. But we don't often stop to evaluate the meaning behind this busyness, behind these victories -- we don't ask ourselves if these things that we focus on so intently are what really matter to us.