Aus
972
I'm allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop - you're a customer who's very confused as to why I'd do that
659
I'm donating blood today and I'm afraid of needles
139
a film junkie who hates reading and a bookworm who never watches any movies run into each other between the movie and literature section of a library
922
NDN activists being rightfully pissed off at white green-witches for appropriating their rituals.
996
Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can't help but join in and my ****ing soulmate is in a ******* band but I can't sing for shit
951
Standardized testing to determine possible magical heritage. The test itself doesn't really matter; it's given by highly-trained proctors who can tell a changeling's frustration from a werewolf's focus.
293
The classic Lab Partner AU
270
You caught me looking at your answers in the lab but you really need to let me keep copying you, please, I have no idea what i'm even looking at under the microscope
152
You're my jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when I order my caffeine fix
397
You're my new roommate in the ward and I was about to lay down the law but ur really hot omg so now I'm just blabbering.
973
You're overdue on this book and I want it so I'm tracking u the **** down
1841
You're so beautiful I did a spit-take. All over you. Hi my name's embarrassing idiot why don't I pay for the laundry au
680
You're the star of the show and I'm just ensemble, there's no way you'd ever notice me, right?
208
children of parents who are business rivals and they sneak off to make out whenever they're forced to attend business meetings au
1552
classic literature professor vs. modern literature professor AU
1687
im sitting on the couch sandwiched between some guy && you, && i think we just started a really good conversation / argument ❜❜
176
last night was supposed to be a one night stand but we drunkenly got each other's names tattooed on each other's ass cheeks so now its kind of hard to forget you' au
1549
made small talk while waiting for different flights and assumed we'd never see each other again AU
1889
manager at a no-tell motel and frequent room renter AU (bonus points: assumed they're a sex worker AU)
8
my friends want to skate / ski / snowboard but i don't know how, can you help me?
42
my new neighbor is smoking hot and i didn't even like women until now and she has a garden and plants flowers in her bikini and i am dying inside AU
565
my parents keep setting me up on blind dates but in reality I'm dating you and it's so you help me get out of them
1234
neighbors who only meet because "i cannot get this stupid jar open, can you help?"
546
neither of us have kissed anyone before and what the hell may as well just get it out of the way. except hahah ha ha h a now i can't stop thinking of ur lips why did i think this was a good idea ha ha ahah
1876
nervous flyer and random seat mate AU
1569
news anchor/ meteorologist AU
1130
panicked yelling in unison because of lost baggage in between connecting flights au
1281
parents signed them up for the same shitty art/science program au
1377
person a accidentally falls into a pond/stream trying to reach something and person b is the bystander who bursts out laughing' au
1378
person a spills coffee on person b when they trip in the street' au
1132
police procedural AU
13
so we're stuck on a ski lift together
1283
thirst follow au
1215
this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they're cute so whatever' AU
487
who wears the really intense halloween costume, who wears a sheet with holes in it
1561
who's this ******* who keeps beating my high score on Pac-Man AU
1743
you're the drummer for my brothers band and i find you really hot AU
1628
you're the interior designer for my house and you kept on hinting that the bath is designed to fit two people comfortably to do almost anything and if you say one more word i will throw you in and ravage you myself
1576
you're the only other person I've ever met who can quote this movie AU
404
your friends dared you to check out the same creepy haunted house? We should go together just in case
1879
your voice sounds just like my phone sex operator's voice AU
1372
youre a cute fireman lecturing me about how im an idiot who left candles on by accident but hey there
614
~"teach me how to swear, i want to call my flatmate a shit without them knowing"
850
"$50 bucks says it's a girl/boy."
625
"'it's a wonderful life' aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* "YOU MONSTER"
711
"Are you sure this is legal?"
865
"Are you wearing my shirt?"
871
"Aren't they beautiful?"
669
"Arrrrre you sober by chance? That's VERY nice. Me? Yeah, of course I'm sober... PFT. What would make you think otherwisssse?" AU
1872
"As a wielder of dark magic I definitely plan on taking over the world once I trick you into releasing me from my prison, but crap, I think I might like you more than I meant to"
1368
"As part of two competing science groups, we were sent to Antarctica to study penguins and they seem to like you more and that's pissing me off" AU
754
"Bite me."
903
"Blasphemy! Sex solves everything."
901
"Boobs are really just squishy pillows."
1871
"Buddy, we are in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, I specialize in botany in unfavorable terrain and I just saw you make a sword out of PVC pipe and string; we're definitely teaming up" au
784
"Can I touch your boob?"
815
"Could I sit here? All the other tables are full."
1335
"Could you please move your bed a little further from the wall I'm trying to work" au
1319
"Cute and talkative taxi driver" au
891
"Hey, I'm open minded."
530
"Hi so i know we haven't talked before but we have French Literature together and i noticed you've been gone and since we're on the same dormitory floor i thought i'd stop by and give you my really thorough notes and oh wow you're rEALLY sick are you ok?"
769
"How dare you?"
303
"I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles" AU
1322
"I always see you at my sporting events cheering really loudly and you don't know this but the entire team loves you for it" au
806
"I am NOT crying, okay?! I'm allergic to jerks!"
336
"I barely know you but my boyfriend just broke up with me and you heard me crying so you brought over ice cream and movies" AU
559
"I bought my friend a neon pink dildo as a gag gift but I accidentally got the presents mixed up and gave it to you instead and now I have to awkwardly explain what happened" AU
326
"I bought too many popsicles at the store do you want some?" AU
1342
"I buy lunch at this grocery store every day and you're always there and you're my favourite cashier" AU
1511
"I came to the Halloween party as Frankenstein and you came as Frankenstein's Bride, now everyone thinks we're dates" au
738
"I can't believe you dragged me into this."
705
"I can't believe you!"
824
"I could do that, but could doesn't mean would."
742
"I could kill you right now!"
728
"I could kiss you right now!"
195
"I cut myself really badly in Printmaking and I'm trying not to bleed everywhere, turns out you carry a bunch of first aid supplies in your bag" AU
770
"I dare you!"
831
"I did not mean for stripping to come out of this."
765
"I don't believe you."
780
"I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist."
1106
"I don't know what would've been worse, me finding a bear in my kitchen at 4AM eating all my food or a cute alien eating all my food at 4AM."
1391
"I don't know you but I need some place to stay for the night, my roommate's getting some" AU
1334
"I don't know you but you were at that party last night and long story short I now have your name tatooed on my ass" au
800
"I don't leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I'd talk to my VCR."
294
"I don't like dressing out in front of people in the locker room can you cover me from now on" AU
810
"I don't think I've ever played spin the bottle."
595
"I don't think this is going to work out. It's a mistake to go through with this."
1113
"I don't understand human emotions or motives but who the sparax made you cry I'm GOING TO HUNT THEM DOWN AND KILL THEM — too much?"
582
"I don't want to marry you at all, the person I love is someone else."
63
"I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up."
310
"I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn't complain and made breakfast for the both of us" AU
602
"I fell in love with you while we were working on that duet AU"
307
"I found someones graduation ring and I'm trying to figure out whos it is" AU
522
"I get airsick and you're the overly concerned flight attendant"
1108
"I got hunted down and dragged out of hiding and now I'm in some scary lab (pretty sure I'm about to be dissected) but just before the operation this scientist came in to check everything was alright, wait what you're unhooking me from the machine now we're running away out of the science lab. man, maybe humans aren't that shitty afterall."
70
"I got my ass handed to me in SSB4 by this little kid and you were there to witness it."
750
"I hate you."
856
"I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me."
593
"I have loved the idea of you since before you were even born."
525
"I have poor circulation and sometimes get chills and you have the warmest body so i like to cuddle with you as much as possible."
603
"I helped you up when you fell over with your sousaphone so maybe please go on a date with me?" AU
1201
"I just came out of surgery and I'm convinced you're my partner but you're the just the long suffering (and super hot) trainee nurse" AU
776
"I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit."
1044
"I know your order by heart and accidentally interrupt you with what you were going to order when I came to your table and now you're mildly impressed" AU
308
"I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it's really nice and cute but I still don't know who you are" AU
301
"I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it" AU
196
"I let you have a few sheets of darkroom photo paper, to pay me back you offered to model privately for my Studio Photography assignment" AU
673
"I lied - this is apple juice, not whisky. I'm trying to impress you, basically." AU
329
"I locked myself out of my apartment so I have to climb out your window and onto my balcony" AU
1349
"I needed a character model for this thing I'm writing and you're the first person I saw in this coffee shop/library and now I have to keep staring at you for my character and you've started to notice shit" AU
61
"I needed a drink of water after my shower but I forgot that I opened the blinds to my balcony and you just saw me walk into my kitchen naked."
604
"I only joined color guard because I have a huge crush on you" AU
1403
"I purposely get your coffee order wrong just so you'll talk to me again" au
1345
"I recently got into this band and I'm trying to buy all their CDs and only need one more to finish my collection, but this CD store only has one copy and it's mega ****ing rare and you wanna buy it to and I LITERALLY WANNA FIGHT YOU FOR IT" AU
827
"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it"
896
"I saw that. You just checked me out."
895
"I see someone's happy to see me."
1347
"I sent you one of those ask meme responses saying I would date you, but we've never talked and I live halfway across the world, but now you're really interested in me whoops" AU
881
"I wouldn't mind falling asleep out here.
1352
"I wrote an entire album about you from back when we were in high school and I was in love with you and you had no idea who I was, but now it's reached number one and you've gotten into contact with me and asked about it" AU
853
"I'll just be in the bathroom throwing my ****ing guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!"
1341
"I'm a computer hacker who was trying to get into government systems, but I accidentally hacked into your computer as you were looking up sex position/were looking at questionable porn" AU
1346
"I'm a fandom blogger and you're an aesthetic/fashion blogger that I followed by accident through those Tumblr radar things, but you're too cute to unfollow" AU
1515
"I'm a photography student and the light was just shining off your hair so perfectly I just HAD to take a picture and now you've found it online, I'm in trouble now" au
1856
"I'm a prince/princess/royal child and you're a prince/princess/royal child from another country and my parents said to do whatever it takes to get this treaty signed between our countries. Hey I guess our forbidden romance will finally come in handy!"
115
"I'm a prince/ss from a small country nobody's heard of and i'm in college pretending not to be royal and you're another student who's always calling me out on my bs" au
1859
"I'm a princess with magical powers, but I have to hide them because no one can know that my entire family are wizards. You're a peasant but you're very experienced with your magic so I start sneaking out so you can teach me how to control my magic"
1353
"I'm a pyromaniac, you're a firefighter and you ****in hate that I make you put out fires at 4am" AU
1851
Even better we both die and decide to spend the rest of eternity pulling stupid pranks on people that we don't like by doing even dumber shit like replacing their shampoo with pink hair dye and drinking the milk out of the carton and putting it back in their refrigerators almost empty.
989
Friends with benefits oh wait I like you
630
FRIENDS AU - "our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it's hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl"
937
Fae psych-doctors, who interpret dreams by actually going into them, and once you've agreed to treatment, altering them to help make you healthier and happier
936
Faerie courts getting their own C-span like channel, politics as usual. Usual grandstanding accompanied by occasional 'duels to the death' (until the dead fae gets bored of acting and gets back up) and promises that must be sealed with an agreement and favors.
935
Faerie drug rings. Sleep in a 'fairy ring' and dealers approach you in your dreams, offering 'much deeper, more intense, fun dreams' for the right price.
1707
I straight up hit on you while you're buying stuff from me and you decide to just ask me out right then and there.
1582
I teach in this classroom in the mornings and you teach in the evenings and we communicate entirely through notes left on the board AU
687
I think we should rehearse scene 4 a little more. Oh, is that the one where our characters kiss? I didn't realize.
977
I thought you were my friend who's just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an *******
1058
I told my sibling that I had a crush on you and in hindsight I should have known that was a bad idea. Anyway I'm so sorry that they tied you up I swear I had nothing to do with it' AU
993
I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she'd stop trying to set me up with people but now she's coming to visit and I'm in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP
1412
I tried to parallel park and hit your car, do you want my details au
689
I use improv class as an excuse to flirt with you.
166
I used to be the best baker in the neighborhood but then you showed up at Mrs. Appleby's 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honor is at stake and I'm going all out for the next event
1584
I volunteered for a sex study and you're the lead researcher and thank god it's acceptable for me to be turned on in this situation because damn AU
685
I walked past an open window and heard someone singing, now I can't get that voice out of my head.
101
Having to SHARE A LIVING SPACE FOR ARBITRARY FIC REASONS. Having to see each other in their pajamas first thing in the morning, messy haired, drowsy eyed and soft faced. going from "you can have the bathroom first" to brushing their teeth beside each other and feeling like this closeness has always existed (at the same time, painfully aware that it won't always).
1360
"I'm a single parent who brings their kid to this park all the time and you run the overpriced ice cream cart and keep guilt tripping me into buying your expensive shit for my kid" AU
1875
"I'm a superhero and you're the villain, but I saw you visiting kids at the children's hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it's really hard to punch you in the face" au
1355
"I'm a tourist in your home town and have no ****in clue where I'm going and barely speak English, but you can speak my native tongue PLEASE HELP ME" AU
197
"I'm a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you're a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because I'm so terrible at this" AU
41
Fake dating my best friend to have someone to vent to on family gatherings. meanwhile pissing off my conservative uncle i never liked anyway and then pretending to date even though no one is around AU
1325
"I'm a waiter/waitress and you always sit in my section. I really like you and i thought you liked me back until you walked in here with a date, w h o o p s would you look at that I keep spilling stuff on them" au
1670
"I'm an elf with really bad aim so while hunting i accidentally shot you in the shoulder with an arrow i'm so sorry can i make it up to you in any way? oh shit you're a wizard, please don't turn me into a frog i'll do anything you want me to" au
332
"I'm at work and my son needs to be picked up from school do you mind?" AU
1508
"I'm low on cash but I really need some food from this vending machine, could i trouble you for a dollar?" au
884
"I'm not actually feeling anything."
804
"I'm not going to apologise for this. Not anymore."
862
"I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention."
820
"I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot."
670
"I'm not one for drinking - it's not like I wouldn't want to have a good time with my buddies or anything, but I'm uh...well...you see, I'm allergic, to a certain extent." AU
812
"I'm ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me."
847
"I'm pregnant!"
73
"I'm running late to school and you just hit me with your motorcycle cause you're also late and no I don't want to go to the hospital instead because I cannot miss this test just please give me a ride instead?"
1834
"I'm sorry I was too mesmerized by you to see the pole. What do ya mean I'm bleeding?"
291
"I'm sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately."
296
"I'm stuck in my locker and you're the only one in the hall" AU
324
"I'm trying to make macaroni but I've burnt 3 pans and set off the fire alarm and I heard the lady above us say you were a chef please help" AU
76
"I'm watching The Lion King on my phone and I'm trying to hide the fact I'm sobbing uncontrollably but you notice anyway."
834
"I'm weird, you're weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn't for the fact I find you repulsive."
201
"I'm zoning out working on this painting and you just stopped me from drinking out of my dirty water cup" AU
671
"I've accidentally found my way to a chat room for alcohol enthusiasts, but apparently I've broken some sort of server rule by being sober. Please, Admin, help me out - you seem sober enough, please stop them from kicking me out! I need this!!!" AU
328
"I've been in love with you since you first moved in and I finally built up the courage to knock on your door but when you answered you had just woken up and didn't have a shirt on so I ran away" AU
867
"I've had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with..."
675
"I've had four drinks but I feel fine. Am I immune? Am I a god? Am I superman?? Am I...passing out...??" AU
71
"I've never talked to you before but the teacher just used us as an example for a scenario where we are married."
577
"I...think I'm in love?"
590
"If I don't win your heart in a month we can call off the wedding."
840
"If I wake up in the morning and I'm dead... Wait."
902
"If you don't get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you."
875
"Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city."
1087
"Is that really who you're daydreaming about naked?"
712
"Isn't this amazing?"
1626
(alternatively) i went out to throw the garbage in the most unflattering clothes and there was a flash and for a good five minutes i was trying to fight you bc i thought you were gonna make fun of me but it turns out you found a pretty butterfly near where i was
1357
"My significant other just broke up with me and I impulse bought like 5 pizzas. Can you help me eat them and make me feel less like shit?" AU
1252
"Netflix support" AU
722
"Never in a million years."
876
"Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature..."
792
"No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care."
857
"No, no, no, no, no, we aren't ready... We aren't ready for kids yet!"
1085
"No, you didn't forget to lock the door. You can quit fixating on it now."
297
"None of my friends are good at math and I need a tutor but you are very intimidating"
1273
"OMG, you speak Klingon too?!" AU
791
"Obviously you can't tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can't."
1852
"Okay so when we were little I accidentally mentioned that I had a crush on you but I always thought you didn't hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we're in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this!!!"
333
"Okay well it turns out you're really good with kids and my son has started calling you daddy and insists we move in so 'we can be a real family'" AU
1102
"Okay, I know I told you I'm an alien and everything but I swear to god if you try to get me to say 'greetings earthling' I will punch you. Of course no one says that! What is this an '80s film!"
668
"Okay, so every time we go out drinking, there is a designated driver. I know that you're immediately thinking that that's 'so responsible,' but that's totally not the case - the general rule is that the youngest had to drive. My group of friends hasn't added anyone in four years. Do you know how long I've been sober. Too long." AU
788
"On a scale from, 'I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying' to 'I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst', how much of an adult are you?"
199
"Our Figure Drawing teacher is an *******, you stuck up for me when he started railing on my portraits" AU
337
"Our dogs whine whenever they're apart so we spend pretty much every day together"
309
"Our friends grouped up for prom but we're the only two without a date lets hang out"
1510
"The bus broke down near your house, I know we're not super close but I live three miles away and this storm is horrible, can i stay over?" au
587
"The moment I saw you, I knew we were meant to be."
775
"The planet is fine. The people are ****ed."
832
"The whole street is blocked off. The police won't tell us anything, but I think there's been some kind of attack... Maybe a bomb?"
835
"There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character."
837
"There's been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships."
854
"There's someone I'd like you to meet..."
1344
"We take the same bus to go to work every morning and you get really into your music and dance and sing to it without a care in the world and I think it's the cutest thing" AU
300
"We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together" AU
302
"We were both skipping class at the same time in the bathroom but someone passed by and now were hiding in a cramped stall" AU
1509
"We were partnered together for this project and we both forgot to do it, now we have to pull an all-nighter at my house" au
583
"We'll make this work out."
1369
"We're both at this restaurant to meet blind dates, but we meet each other thinking that the other person is the blind date we were supposed to be meeting" AU
230
"We're both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks"
1196
"We're both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people want photos of us in compromising positions and oops now we're kissing" AU
1474
"We're both in competitive show jumping and you're an arrogant ass but I really love your horse"
1404
"We're both sick and we both grabbed for the last can of soup at the store" au
1324
"We're camp counsellors at a really cool camp, but the rivalry between our cabins is sort of famous, and now we might get fired because the manager caught us racing toddlers"
1365
"We're in this satanic cult together, but neither of us are really into it cause I get squeamish at the sight of blood and you can't remember all the chants we have to do" AU
1395
"We're neighbors who don't really talk but your cat might have gotten my cat pregnant?? We must raise this little kitty family together" AU
233
"We're on the bus and I'm really not trying to take up your space I'm sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs"
1350
"We're sitting next to each other on this plane and and I was eating gummies, but I left all the red ones cause they're absolute shit and now you're asking if you can have them"
295
"We're the only ones in detention" AU
1316
"We're watching my favourite movie in class and this ******* keeps talkin- woah hello, you're really cute, what was I saying??" au
772
"Well this is awkward..."
721
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
805
"What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me."
1390
"You're a store clerk and oh shit I just spotted my ex please let me hide behind your desk-thing" AU
1359
"You're a successful music act and I'm your tour coordinate who is so invested in your career it's ridic" AU
235
"You're afraid that you'll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there's only, like, five people around and I'm getting vry suspicious"
1320
"You're always the most spirited person during Spirit Week and I really want to beat you this year" au
869
"You're beautiful, you know that?"
331
"You're drunk and walked into the wrong apartment and fell asleep on my couch oh god you're going to be so confused in the morning" AU
1370
"You're famous and I was hired by your management to date you for public appearances, but now I'm kinda into you cause you're actually a really cool person, but you don't give a shit about me" AU
67
"You're headphones aren't plugged in all the way so I know you're listening to educational children's cartoon theme songs."
1361
"You're into graffiti, I'm into graffiti. Wanna **** up this town's walls together since we can't stop arguing over this one wall?" AU
709
"You're jealous, aren't you?"
826
"You're like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?"
361
All your coworkers know you're married to a cop but now I'm undercover investigating a string of bank heists and it turns out that your only friend at your shitty new job is dating the head bank robber.
1329
Always in front of me in line for the coffee shop with a ridiculous order that takes forever to make au
1008
Carrying on from 10.vii. you've caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you're calling me out on it what do I do???
1580
Christmas lights rivalry AU
1110
"You're my alien friend and I've decided to run you through all the human things you don't understand, starting with films. I decided to pick Star Trek and I can't get over the fact how you're so fixated on the screen and characters, omg you're adorable."
1362
"You're my favourite Instagram account and you're really popular and I'm always the first one to like your pictures" AU
1046
"You're really friendly and I accidentally stayed at your table talking to you and my supervisor had to come over and yell at me agh but I got your number so it was kinda worth it" AU
1327
"You're really passionate about Harry Potter and I tell you I've never even watched the movies so now we're going back to your house for a movie marathon and you're on a rant and I don't know what I said" au
596
"You're sleeping in the practice room I usually use at this time" AU
849
"You're smart and successful with an adorable belly."
860
"You're so cute when you pout like that!"
868
"You're so cute when you're half asleep like this..."
598
"You're that one guy that won't stop playing after the conductor cuts us off and it really pisses me off" AU
1081
"You've had that song stuck in your head for days. It's driving me nuts, too."
1394
"You've locked yourself outside of your apartment and there's a storm rolling in and I pity you so I'll let you into mine" AU
1317
"Your cat and my dog are totally in love, and I think it's so cute until I realise that it's your pet, because we kind of hate each other" au
1244
"bored single parents at a OneDirection concert" AU
1272
"can i borrow your blanket? i need to cry." AU
1266
"does anyone here have an iPhone 5 charger? ANYONE?" AU
1669
"dude why did that siren take on my image to try and seduce you, is there something you wanna tell me" au
1246
"for the last time we do not sell hydrochloric acid I'M CALLING THE COPS" AU
1251
"good old fashioned pawn shop waffle iron bidding war" AU
1065
"got locked in a walk-in refrigerator/freezer and now we gotta keep warm somehow" au
1261
"hate each other but got thrown in the same group during a team building exercise" AU
1648
"hey new neighbor it appears that your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and they're really jealous and i'm sorry but not really because hellloooooo there"
1496
"hey thanks for literally saving my life by pushing me out of the way of that car, but now you're yelling at me bc i was reading and walking and you said i'm too cute to die" au
617
"hi we're neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa now that's just embarrassing? step aside i'll handle this"
1714
"how am i supposed to be a good new roommate and not act annoyed when you buy store brand greek yogurt what are you a savage" au
1678
"i accidentally called the wrong skype number and it turns out the person i called was you and you're in a different time zone, so it's 3am where you are and you just woke up and look ****ing pissed but you're cute so... let's do this again when you're not asleep. i'm more than willing to stay up into the dead of night to talk to you" au
216
"i accidentally flooded the laundry room and you really needed to do laundry" au
1479
"i bet you couldn't make it all the way through this horror movie with me"
1446
"i came to check out this support group but things have kind of been majorly sucking lately and you were there and i didn't even know anything was wrong but we've known each other for months what gives" au
1433
"i came to the gym to work out but holy god i can't stop watching you do one armed push ups that's so hot" au
1811
"i came up to your apartment to ask you to turn down your music and have quieter sex, but it turns out that you've just been jumping up and down on your bed in your underwear listening to music alone" au
1470
"i can't remember why i thought storm chasing with you was a good idea"
1676
"i took you to my family's lakehouse and we went jetskiing which you were so adorably excited about b/c you've never been, and when we drove around on the water at ungodly speeds u held onto me b/c there was nothing else to hold onto" au
1715
"i want to blame my young child from accidentally breaking your window with a baseball, but it actually was in fact me, and i was aiming for your roof i am sorry" au
1495
"i was visiting this school for the day bc i want to transfer out of my school and it was between this school and another one but then i saw u and ur hella cute so i choose this school" au
1810
"i was walking in the park and i heard something, and i look up and you're just playing the flute in a tree?" au (this is a tru story that happened to my friend)
1428
"i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???" au
1484
"i work at a little market/store and u came up to the register with a candy bar but didn't have enough money to pay for the entire thing. but don't worry, i got you, fam" au
1668
"i would be furious at you for stowing away on my ship if it weren't for the fact that you look really sick and sad can i help you" au
1651
"i'm a biker and one day i was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you're so ******* cute i accidentally steered into a pole and now you're giving me first aid (holy shit you're even cuter up close)" au
1388
"i'm a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you're still flirting with me even though you're not wearing pants and im carrying you down a ladder as you compliment me on my muscles "
111
"i'm a prince/ss and you're a servant and we're not supposed to hang out but we're gonna fall in love anyways" au
112
"i'm a prince/ss and you're my bodyguard and we're so not supposed to bang but we kind of did anyways" au (bonus: limo sex is great sex)
1018
"i'm pretty sure if taylor swift and i were in a competition of who could write the most breakup songs in one night, i'd win by a landslide because i still set two plates out for dinner even though i eat alone and it's almost pathetic because we've been broken up for ages but i'm still not over you" AU
211
"i'm really really worried you're gonna fire me can i make up for the massive mistake i made???" au
958
Doullahans wearing a lot of scarves and turtlenecks and choker necklaces so their head doesn't fall off and freak people out.
1490
"i'm sitting alone at a coffee shop and you are also sitting alone and u heard me talking on the phone to my best friend and i was joking with her about getting a sugar daddy bc i'm hella broke, but i swear that i'm like kinda normal, now stop laughing" au
1021
"look, i know we agreed to be friends and everything but that's what everyone says when they break up. i can't take you asking me for advice on how to ask out the new person you're interested in, okay? it's killing me" AU
1488
"me and a couple friends were on the omegle video chat and wow ur like the first nice guy that didn't try to ******** to us, thanks for that" au
1254
"met at a panel at a convention" AU
1245
"mutual drunk friend called BOTH of us to pick them up from a party well this is awkward" AU
1381
"my cat keeps broke into your apartment and ate all of your plants so i asked you out for dinner to apologize"
116
"my country's going through some issues so i'm here in hiding and you're a civilian who lives in the same apartment complex as me" au
1647
"my favorite band dropped a new single today and i've had it on repeat for seven hours and i can see you judging me but that isn't going to make me shut it off"
1536
"we're both in the brass section of the marching band and you never stop making 'horny' puns" au
631
"we're co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don't know how to act around you now"
1671
"we're coworkers and all the other employees ship us so just for fun we all go out clubbing/to a bar but little do we know its actually a plot they set up to get us to realize our supposed love for each other. wait you're actually a really good dancer and your laugh is so endearing and, holy shit, maybe our colleagues were right" au
1478
"we're enemies by day but league of legends allies by night"
1489
"we're internet friends and follow each other on all social media but have never met but hey, i'm going on vacation where you live, let's meet (and also date)" au
1674
"we're partners in cupcake wars and i never realized how cute you look with frosting on your face until now but no distractions, we have to ****ing pummel these other teams because we are the best ******* cupcake company in the universe WE CAN DO THIS" au
623
"we're strictly 'platonic' but we're snowed in omg we're gonna have to repopulate the earth"
110
"we've been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we've met and your portraits really don't do you justice" au
1440
"we've been nothing but friends for our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now i think i might actually be in love with you" au
1486
"we've been pen pals for like hella months and we finally decided to meet up and damn your cute, also did you break up with your jerk bf/gf yet?" au
1248
"you accidentally added me to this group chat and i don't know how to take myself off"
1645
"you and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and i'm really just trying to study over here so i'm gonna put an end to this by winning the game"
1100
"you are in fact the worst burglar i have ever seen" "how many burglars have you seen???" "exactly."
1468
"you are literally the last person i expected to see at disneyland but hey, wanna ride space mountain?"
1506
"you fell asleep on my shoulder on the flight but it's okay because you smelled nice and I was cold anyway" au
1654
"you fell asleep on my shoulder on the plane ride and i would ask you to move but you look so comfy and adorable when you sleep. also you smell really good and the feeling of your breath on my skin is somewhat relaxing, maybe we can go out to lunch in this shitty airport when you wake up?" au
1385
"you had a party and i got really drunk and stole your toaster, so i showed up the next day to return it and you were really hungover so i made you breakfast (but i burnt all of it)"
1665
"you have fire powers and i have ice powers and one day you save my ass and even though we're supposed to be rivals, you're actually really really cute and warm can i just stay in your arms forever bc i am perpetually cold" au
1666
"you have ice powers and i have fire powers and i save your sorry ass from getting hurt/killed, okay i know we're supposed to be rivals according to every legend ever but you're adorable and wow you're really cold, would you like me to warm you up?" au
1658
"you invited me to your brother's/sister's wedding as a plus one bc we're hella best friends but we end up making out at the afterparty and now everyone thinks we're ****ing so uh,, u wanna go out for a drink sometime? try this whole couple thing out?" au
1662
"you just came up to me on the street and asked where the weirdest place i had sex was and i'm assuming it's for one of those talk show things, but i'm really nervous because you're really really hot in that suit holy shit" au
1285
"you know you're singing to your headphones out loud, right" au
1465
"you sat next to me at the movie theatre and i really hated your movie but i didn't realize you were in it"
1257
"you think i always forget pencils in this class but actually i just want to talk to you and now have a little over 200 pencils at home" AU
1469
"you think you make a better potato salad than me? bring it, loser"
1477
"you were the bane of my existence in high school but now we're going to college together"
1387
"you work at a pet store and i came in to look at the tarantulas, but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn't help that you're terrified of spiders and keep sporadically screeching when you think you saw it"
1538
"you work in construction and i walk by your job site every day to bring you a bagel" au
1482
"you work in the ER and it's like 2 in the morning but i sleepwalk and i fell down the stairs and broke my leg, why r u laughing i'm literally crying in pain" au
1386
"you're a lifeguard at my kid's swimming competition and i fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though i didn't need it"
1066
"you're a vampire with an aphrodisiac bite and i'm the drunk party-goer you decided to snack on tonight" au
1652
"you're biking through my neighborhood and you ran into a pole so now i'm really concerned and patching you up, oh my gosh you're really hot even though you have a bloody nose" au
619
"you're in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas"
1267
"you're my gardener and i hired you to plant some roses but would you like to stay and plant some sunflowers and stay and have some dinner" AU
1435
"you're the only delivery person who gets to my house in any semblance of the word fast which is why i keep requesting you but you don't believe me and tease me constantly about it" au
1644
"you've been awkwardly inching your way towards the human sexuality section of the bookstore i work at for like fifteen minutes are you looking for something in particular or -?"
109
"your country's trying to take over/annex my country and you're making it difficult to hate you because you're so nice and attractive stop it" au
1537
"your dog gives zero ****s about his invisible fence and keeps running into my yard" au
1247
"your email address is one letter different from my friend's so i keep emailing you by mistake" AU
1243
"your music's way too loud bUT THAT'S MY FAVORITE SONG" AU
1209
' Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out'
1207
' I know you steal my wifi to watch porn but it's kinda hot idk' AU
1204
' holy shit i'm in the wrong car' AU
123
'All my intel said you're not meant to be back until next week and I'm sitting here using your flat as a sniper nest to kill a bad guy. This is awkward.' AU
926
'Baby Merlin' videos which claim to help little children develop their magical potential.
128
'Dude, no. If you kill me that just leaves you, the crazy guy and the CAT!' AU
125
'Dude, you just shot my arm off. Do they not hire assassins with an aim anymore?' AU
126
'Explain to me one more time, why exactly are you so desperate to buy this much Ricin?'
470
On some days, whatever your soulmate thinks of is something you can hear in your mind and your soulmate is currently reading really hardcore smut fics and you're trying so hard not to mess up this class presentation which shoulders half your mark for the semester.
1602
My kid is in your class and you called me in for a parent-teacher conference and I don't know what she did but she didn't learn it from me and wait what do you mean you think she should skip a grade AU
1592
My kid shoplifted from your store and I marched her back here to apologize to you AU
697
My new roommate is a tap-dancer/opera singer.
1013
Our best friends are that awful 'cute' couple that make-out in public and call each other "sweetie" and "sugar" and "babe" and god they're awful let's talk about how awful they are - develops into "shit we're the awful couple now"
1589
Our families are having funeral visitations at the same time and we're both hanging around outside because we can't deal AU
550
Our group chat is mostly just Person A serenading the both of us with song lyrics and dirty messages oh my god this ****ing dork...oh shit now I'm kinda aroused one of you ****ers meet me for lunch asap
1601
Our moms belong to the same garden club and are fiercely competitive about their gardens and keep sending us to pick up supplies for them and would have matching heart attacks if they found out we're hooking up every trip AU
1835
Random Karaoke partner night and we sound heavenly together au
1001
I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let's go oh wait are we stuck at the top? ****
1847
I was a little shithead in heaven and as a punishment I now have to be your guardian angel and even though your cute as **** I still ****ing hate it.
1612
I was down on my luck and had lost the will to live when I heard you playing the fiddle and long story short I think you saved my life AU
374
I was hired to walk up to you and kiss you in public for the paparazzi and I only did it because I'm broke but you are a good guy and a good kisser I'm so sorry
366
I was in a hurry and I ran into you outside the coffee shop while you were carrying two lattes and it turns out they were both for you except that now you're wearing them I'm so sorry
370
I was in the middle of a sick skateboard trick when you walked into my path and I couldn't stop in time I'm so sorry
1210
I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE'S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD" AU
1729
I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE'S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD" AU
1364
I went on Omegle to find someone to sext with, but you started talking about really innocent shit and your face is really cute on camera so I couldn't find it in me to next you" AU
966
I work as a florist for a long time and you are the new employee who's acting strange. For me, being raised on detectives since I was a child, is not that easy to determine who you actually are, but in the end I've done it. And you know what? I want IN, because I really need money [because (insert reason here), optional], so what do I need to do for you (or your group) to accept me as your assistant?
1861
I work at a public market and some viral advertising campaign is filming videos across from my stall. And therefore blocking my stall. Listen, buddy, I know you're just a P.A. but this is getting ridiculous- oh shit you're cute.
1409
I work at the checkout and you're clearly not old enough to buy that au
974
I work in the library and I'm a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying
690
I work the night shift at this diner with you to pay my way through drama school, could you test me on my lines while we work?
1846
I'm a mother****ing genie and you rubbed my lamp so congratulations you get three wishes but as it turns out you can't think think of anything you want so I'm basically stuck with you until you do and you seem hell bent on taking your ****ing time......great.
1012
I'm a waiter at this wedding and you're a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I'm trying to work no I can't dance with you omg let me find you some water
655
I'm an artist who was at shit creek until I met you, so please be my muse, no, I'm not asking you out
172
I'm an ikea employee and every day for the last week I've had to ask you to leave the store because you keep coming in and sleeping in the beds seriously are you homeless or something i can call a shelter' au
1414
I'm an interior decorator and you hired me to fix up your apartment au
528
I'm drugged up on cough medicine and right now sounds like a gREAT time to tell you how hot you are and pass out in your car."
665
I'm forcing you to watch my favorite show and you're more into it than I am now
403
I'm giving out candy for Halloween and you brought your little sibling trick or treating and I actually think that's really sweet
180
I'm having a minor breakdown in the middle of bed bath and beyond and you're a bewildered shopper who wants to buy plates but also to make sure I'm okay because I'm wailing a little bit in the kitchenware section' au
232
I'm in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said "shh i'm hiding"
174
I'm in my underpants in a laundromat waiting for my clothes to get washed and your clothes are in the machine next to mine and i noticed that when you put your clothes in they were all covered in blood what the ****' au
389
I'm new here and I don't know where any of the ramps are yet please help.
402
I'm on this ghost tour and my guide is really hot and no one has ever looked sexier in hokey Victorian wear
1608
I'm planning a heist and I need your very specific skillset to pull it off but when I tracked you down you'd become an alcoholic and spend your days cheating at video poker AU
1596
I'm the caterer and you're the florist on a huge expensive wedding and we bond over what an awful person the mother of the bride is AU
1406
I'm the tour guide on your fancy package holiday au
154
I'm trying to recruit members for my club but you keep stealing away all my potential recruits AU
410
I'm trying to set up a homemade fog machine but I accidentally touched the dried ice with my hands and now I'm banging on your dorm room door because I need to go to the hospital right now
968
I'm worried about your coffee dependency
1408
I'm your new neighbor and I'm using your wifi au
222
I've met you in every single lifetime and I always hope it will work out but it doesn't but I'll still keep finding you again because those few days/months/years together with you are always so worth it
664
I've never had a proper conversation with you, but I always see you at this cafe folding paper cranes and I you're really peaking my interest
1179
INAPPROPRIATELY TIMED PROPOSALS
928
Spiritualists who make 90% of their income acting as witness that 'yes, the coroner did get the victim's permission before preforming an autopsy.'
453
There wasn't a soulmate system in place before, now it's about a thousand and more years later, and—wait, aren't you the person that killed me in that back alley?
382
There's only one gluten free muffin left don't think I won't fight you for it.
992
There's a person who won't stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they'll **** off?
388
There's only one theatre in this town that plays movies with captions and I always see u there but the thing is the films you go to are all shit let me show you what real cinematography is.
1103
There's this new kid in my school and they're pretty weird. Not the cliche kind of weird, as in they actually don't know how to fully operate as a human being and I think they might be an alien.
648
This is a big ass mall and I just got lost, please help me
151
This is a mandatory partner project and since everybody else is taken I have to have you as my partner AU
943
Treaties on Combat magic.
1597
We're chaperoning kids at the same skating rink party and the last couple's skate was pathetic so what do you say we show these little punks how it's done AU
666
We're having our first argument as a married couple: do we explore this island, or do we stay in bed all day
653
We're internet friends and we're meeting up in real life today and I'm super paranoid because what if you're a deranged killer and- omg you're perfect
1603
We're neighbors and I'm telling you this as a friend but if you give out pencils for Halloween again this year I'm going to look the other way when the kids roll your yard AU
1836
We're new next door neighbors whose roofs out the window are close enough to have a little patio
641
We're playing Monopoly in the local library and the game just got serious, I think the librarians are about to kick us out
1863
We're scene partners in an acting class and our scene involves a kiss. The teacher wants to cut it. I really, really don't.
380
We're the only two neurodivergent people in this Psychology 101 Class we must band together to survive.
362
We've been communicating entirely by email/phone/carrier pigeon/paid messenger for the past year as we work to bring some peace and order to this troubled land, so when I walked into the negotiation room to sit down with the fearsome and terrible politician/businessperson/famed warrior that all my people are so afraid of, I didn't really expect it to be you.
660
We've been hooking up for the past few weeks and holy shit it turned out you're my fifth grader's teacher oh god this embarrassing!
1849
Were at a club and although your a really shitty dancer your also really ****ing adorable so I decide to say hi and you end up accidentally hitting me in the face and ****ing hell i think you broke my nose.
921
Were-animals lobbying for lycanthropy to be part of ADA so they can get the days after full moons off.
942
Were-creature rights.
925
Wind-workers employed at airports to monitor take-offs and landings.
1706
With the market barter system in place, we exchange numbers.
1405
You accidentally chained your bike to mine and I can't leave until you get back au
449
You accidentally fell down the stairs and broke a leg, oh, and fate must love you because it seems your soulmate also broke the other leg (or something else) and whatever happens to the other, you feel it too (no actual injury but you feel the same amount of pain) so now you're in the hospital and you happen to meet your soulmate in the waiting area.
1503
You and I ride the same bus home every day but never talk but then you fell asleep and sorry to wake you up (you look really cute in your sleep) but it's your stop next
469
You and your soulmate can communicate with thoughts and your soulmate happens to be a math major and you really need help with this test right now.
437
You and your soulmate have identical tattoos on your wrist about the date when you'll meet each other. Place and time can be included (as opposed to the countdown AUs).
460
You become a writer and your series of novels become extremely popular, but what they don't know is that you're retelling your previous life where certain circumstances made it so you and your soulmate did not end up together but your soulmate promises to be with you the next lifetime. At a book signing you open the book cover of a fan's copy to see something written on the front page: "I'm sorry I took so long."
1611
You bring my grandmother a basket of homemade candy every Christmas and she keeps dropping hints about how great you are so we should probably go out at least once—you know, just to make grandma happy AU
971
You buy a weird amount of flowers and I'm concerned as to why
1865
You live in the apartment across from mine. You're always walking around shirtless. That is so rude; who do you think you are?
682
You need an accompanist and I just so happen to play the piano.
92
i fell asleep on your shoulder and you were too polite to move or wake me up au
14
i forgot my toboggan in the park only to come back and find you using it
179
i found you sleeping on my balcony when i went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we're eighteen floors up' au
1746
i found your dog wondering the streets so i decided to come and return him AU
1290
i got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street and opened my door to find you trying to sleep on the floor of the hallway because your roommate has his fiancée over so i guess i'll lend you my couch for the night AU
1623
i have a soft spot for cats so i always feed the fat one that's always hanging out in the hall with treats and now it started hanging around me **** i'm so sorry i didn't mean to accidentally steal your pet
186
i'm drunk on public transport and you're high and we both keep looking at each other knowingly' au
1760
i'm in a lame band and you're the towns bad boy/girl AU
1903
i'm in the library researching for this giant assignment that's 90% of my grade i haven't slept or gotten anything beside coffee in two days i am going to explode in rage if you don't shut the **** up this SECOND' au
1630
i'm kinda mad because what kind of grocery stores put mistletoes up above the bread section??? but also kind of not because i got stuck with you and your lips are kinda nice
1695
i'm late to work but can't function correctly without coffee so i stopped at starbucks on the way and i have no idea how to use this menu please help me
1800
i'm only your friend because we smoke weed and get high together AU
1456
i'm posing naked in your art class please stop giggling what are you giggling at AU
1773
i'm pregnant but it's not yours AU
1894
i'm rly hungover and i rly rly need some takeout right now but oh god i called the wrong number and your voice is rly attractive do you wanna come over with a pizza' au
1817
i'm somewhere past drunk and decidedly lost and you're a kindly local on a nighttime outing au
274
i'm sorry i keep messing up the titration
256
i'm the stage manager and you're the self-absorbed diva, so naturally we despise each other
264
i'm the understudy for your character's love interest and since he's not here today you asked me to help you run the kissing scene and i'm really attracted to you
1782
i'm visiting your country for vacation and you show me around AU
1098
i've been trying to catch the anonymous leader of the most dangerous gang in the city, ffs it's my best friend isn't it
533
i've had to listen to you going to the bathroom in our silent hotel room for the past four nights and i don't know if this is bringing us closer together or further apart au
1458
i've never actually talked to you but i had a dream we were in a relationship and now i have a crush on you AU
261
i've seen this play about thirty times and you were my favorite character and you did it so beautifully i just had to tell you at stage door oh wait wow you're attractive
1690
im naturally spoiling people && taking care of them, && you're always getting sick in class / feeling down in class, && i think the teacher ships us? ❜❜
1682
im trying to get you up to scratch with this question you can't solve / understand please stop staring at me && start listening ❜❜
27
in any public place: i could swear you keep looking at me, hang on are you drawing me
1131
incredibly long crosscountry train ride AU
1564
interviewed you for the newspaper AU
537
is that blood? on the sheets of this shady hotel? and new sheets cost fifty bucks that we don't have au
1295
it's 3 am and you're blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but sOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO ****ING SLEEP YOU SHITHEAD
1697
it's a heat wave out and you're wearing a ******* hoodie so please take this water bottle i just stole bought from a hot dog stand before you die of overheating
1562
it's a total coincidence that I happen to water my plants at the same time you jog past my house AU
1620
it's exam week and i run a coffee shop near the campus and you walked right into my glass door i'm laughing so hard oh my god
502
it's literally the best thing ever?? you can have two characters traveling the country?? learning more about themselves?? learning more about their friends??
1702
it's my tradition to eat twizzlers while marathoning this show on it'$ anniversary but i ran out so i'm in the walmart candy aisle at 2 am crying because i can't find the twizzlers please help me
185
it's my turn to open up the cafe today and you were sleeping under one of the tables when i came in and i don't know what to say so i'm just sweeping awkwardly around you' au
10
it's so cold my mouth is numb, you should kiss me before we get frostbite
1780
it's the 50's / 60's and our love is so sweet it causes toothaches AU
1779
it's the 50's / 60's and we're in love but our love is forbidden because of law AU
1375
ive walked past this cafe 4 times because im hopelessly lost but gdi stop laughing at me
322
kidnapped by a band of magical golden hearted thieves au
1289
kissed them as a distraction while stealing their wallet au
477
making a "SPLASH US!!" sign and standing on the side of the road waiting for cars to drive by
1127
marching band au
411
my friend posted a jump scare and I screamed really loudly and now you're knocking on my door and I have to come up with some good reason before I answer the door so you don't think I'm stupid
1567
my kid's hamster died while she was at school and I don't know how to tell her about death so long story short does your pet store have a hamster that looks just like the one in this photo AU
1014
You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I'm in detention and jesus **** I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you're cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh **** no
985
You've got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I'm so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you
136
a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date au
143
a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine's day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date au
255
we absolutely hate each other but we're the romantic leads so i guess we have to make this work
1762
we actually can't stand each other but for some reason we talk everyday AU
406
we both got dragged to this stuffy Halloween party by our parents wanna kiss in the corner?
1793
we both have cancer and go to the same support group AU
1696
we both live at the beach and it's spring break so we bond over the hatred of college kids ruining everything
1223
we both tried to rob a bank at the same time' AU
1742
we both tried to rob a bank at the same time' AU
49
we bump into each other in the supermarket every Friday and we always buy the same ice cream maybe we should eat some ice cream together AU
1797
we dated when we were younger and now we're step siblings AU
1794
we decide to play a game of chicken together which leads to one thing or another AU
543
we drunk-kissed but you forgot about it and i don't know how to act around you anymore wtf
1748
we get seated next to each other on a delayed flight AU
571
we go on secret dates only during the late nights/early mornings to avoid people, and it's not so bad watching the sunrise and walking under street lamps with you
1774
we go to the same coffee shop every evening to do homework but we never speak to each other until today AU
1693
we have apartments next to each other and sometimes you're blasting shitty music but other times you're *********** and that's even louder than the music please quiet down
401
we just wanted to do one of those fake ghost hunting shows but now shit is actually happening and we don't know what to do
165
we kind of got past the point of 'taking this game of gay chicken too seriously' when you took your pants off but I really do not mind at all.
1792
we met at a really strict summer camp and ended up breaking all the rules together one by one AU
1778
we met in the summer and now i go to your school but you act like a typical jerk AU
1789
we rob places together as a couple and get away with it AU
1786
we runaway together and now we're hiding from our parents and the police with no food, money, or clothes AU
1771
we went on a long road trip and got into a car crash and we're the only two who survived
268
we were both in the drama program at our high school and we used to date but we lost contact when we went away to college and now we appear to both have been cast in this off-broadway production as the romantic interests and it's the first time i've seen you in years so hi how have you been
262
we were cleaning up after the show and got locked in the theater over night and i swear i just heard a noise coming from that dark corner
566
we were making out but then my roommate walked in and I shoved you in the closet and you had to sit in there cramped for hours I'm sorry
365
we were playing a pickup game of basketball and I elbowed you in the face and that's a lot of blood I'm so sorry
1828
we were studying across from each other in the library not acknowledging each other for hours and you passed out and fell onto my book so i'm screwed au
405
we were supposed to go on a double date to this horror movie but neither of our dates showed up and it's really just our friends trying to get us together
1781
we work at the same 50's diner AU
169
we're always making stupid bets like 'bet you can't drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce' but then you did and now you're sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
1457
we're at a murder mystery party and i'm convinced you're the killer AU
1698
we're at the beach and my friend is off fighting people for a spot near the ocean and they packed a lot so yes, could you please help me unload my truck?
408
we're at this Halloween party and this guy tried to drug your drink and I should probably tell you you're also really cute
544
we're best friends and i've been in love with you for forever but i'm 3000% sure you just see me as a friend except why is this sexual tension happening rn
1796
we're best friends and we take each others virginity's AU
164
we're both 'team leaders' at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
318
we're both cleaning up the ocean because our friends/parents are making us merperson au
1795
we're both in conservative relationships so we decide to sneak off and be each others friends with benefits AU
407
we're both last minute candy shopping and you are not allowed to grab the last chocolate variety pack I'll fight you
19
we're both out snowmobiling but yours breaks down, i can give you a lift
1220
we're literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something' AU
1739
we're literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something' AU
573
we're secretly dating and my friend suggested a double date and it turns out my secret date was you
547
we're the Old Married Couple™ but lmao no we would never date each other. right? right?????!!!?
1461
we've been dating for a while and i finally showed you my pet snake and you look sick do you need to lie down AU
315
well, you try talking some sense into the bridge troll au
474
when it rains
1897
you're so attractive but every time you open your mouth i want to strangle you how did you end up in my bed exactly how many tequila shots did i have last night' au
266
you're the casting director and i reeeeeaaalllly want a part in this show so i tried seducing you but i'm very bad at seduction
1684
you're the genius in class who always rambles on about things that are WAY more complex than our level, && i'm the only one that tries to listen && understand you ❜❜
534
you've been driving forever and you keep being passive aggressive every time i ask if you want me to take a turn and i'm about to grab the wheel to make you pull over au
1625
your flash went off accidentally and i thought you were taking pictures of the muscular dude beside me do you want me to hook him up with you
1460
your grandma is really forward even though i swear we're just friends AU
1886
your kid hates my kid AU
319
your kiss broke a sirens spell au
1784
zombie falls in love with a human AU
612
~"i already thought you were attractive but then you started speaking french and bonjour"
613
~"i don't know what you're saying, you don't know what i'm saying, so apparently we're playing charades to figure out what the **** is going on"
609
~"i said i spoke fluent [insert language here] on my CV to get this job and suddenly they want me to actually converse with a client next week, so i need you to teach me like right now. get some coffee. this is gonna be a long week"
611
~"i'm learning your language to surprise you, and why exactly does this book say that your pet name for me actually means 'small monkey'???"
608
~"i'm meeting your family for the first time and tried to learn your first language to impress them but i really suck at languages. stop laughing at me. i think i called your mother a donkey when i was trying to compliment her cooking. ****."
610
~"there's only two of us in this language class, but i'm only here because there was a rumour the lecturer gives out free food whilst you're actually trying to learn. tell you what, you do all the talking, i spy some croissants which demand my attention"
606
~"you're having a conversation in a language i'm fluent in and you just called me beautiful without realising I understand every word you're saying, and you're pretty easy on the eyes yourself so hello there"
607
~alternatively, "you're having a conversation in a language i'm fluent in and you just called me what i'm pretty sure was an insult without realising I understand every word you're saying, fight me"
1380
only two people in the tube car' au
1558
only two people who bought tickets to see this movie AU
1263
ooookay so i told myself that i'd do some more if this got to 1K and to my ultimate surprise and genuinely pleased shock here we are so let's go kiddos
1627
our barista shifts only overlap during the tuesdays and wednesdays which are supposed to be calm days but aren't and our manager is entirely convinced it's only packed because of our ridiculous flirting but i swear to god we aren't because no homo right
1560
our dogs are in love with each other and it's making things awkward at the dog park AU
1799
our friends put us on a blind date AU
1550
our grandparents are in the same nursing home and they hate each other AU
1547
our kids got paired up to do a school project and I meant to just drop mine off at your house but we ended up talking for three hours AU
1563
our manager is making us push this crappy item that no one needs but you thought my sales pitch was funny so you bought it AU
259
our relationship is new/kind of rocky and i hate watching you kiss your ex on stage every night
149
overhearing roommate singing in the shower to find out they sound angelic' au
140
painter/writer au
316
pegasus joy riding au
1120
pen pals who vent at each other every week au
1227
person A asking for directions from person B because they're new in town and hopelessly lost
499
person A burying person B in snow and then kissing their forehead and walking away ("YOU MOTHER****ER YOU CANT LEAVE ME HERE" "I love you too I'll be back!" "EXCUSE ME")
478
person A is Very Enthusiastic about thunderstorms and person B is Very Afraid so A makes up elaborate fake explanations abt where the thunder comes from to make B laugh and forget they were scared
1230
person A who sits in the back of every staff meeting and makes snarky comments under their breath about everyone the whole time and person B who arrived late and sat next to them and can barely hold in their laughter
618
person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall ("oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????")
1379
person b has to grab person a before they accidentally fall on train tracks because they were dumb and didnt stay behind the yellow line' au
1135
platonic living together AU
570
please stop leaving all our crap in my house, my friends keep asking me about extra shirts and toothbrushes and they definitely know I don't where that
1229
posted a joke ad in the classifieds but someone actually responded
1139
pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU
1750
pretending to date bc reasons AU
1759
pretending to date you because someone was obnoxiously hitting on you AU
113
princess diaries style "i grew up not knowing i was royal and suddenly my royal grandparent showed up out of nowhere and told me i was so now i guess i'm the heir to the throne and you're my crush from my pre-royal days but i still have a crush on you" au
1141
pseudo-adopting-the-runaway-i-ran-into AU
1192
public demonstration au
496
snowball fights that end up forming barricades complete with les mis references and backup snowballs until person A is covered in snow and person B has to dig them out
1217
so YOU'RE the ********* who keeps mowing their lawn while i'm trying to sleep' AU
1736
so YOU'RE the ********* who keeps mowing their lawn while i'm trying to sleep' AU'
32
so we're the only ones in the darkroom, huh
1216
sorry i set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time i was trying to cook' AU
1735
sorry i set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time i was trying to cook' AU
510
staying in shitty motels, okay? the kind of creepy-not-quite-real aesthetic of neon lights and soft linen and staying awake all night listening to the other person breathe.
314
stole a sacred artifact from a witch and now i have to hunt you down au
1232
strangers who end up on the kiss cam at a sporting event
1765
stuck in a horrible zombie apocalypse AU
1137
stuck-in-an-airport-because-the-flights-were-SO-VERY-delayed-and-it's-like-two-am AU
1885
studying abroad AU
512
taking turns deciding on the next destination and characters declaring things like "oh my god, I hate the countryside" but they wind up loving it
1140
teaming up to rescue respective abducted children AU
1154
the 'camp counselors at the same sleep away camp' au
1160
the 'forced lab partners' au
1157
the 'i should not be this attracted to the new intern' au
1159
the 'my new best friend's sibling is so hot' au
1155
the 'my new fbi partner/consultant is really hot' au
1164
the 'my roommate's best friend is really obnoxious but also hot' au
1166
the 'new bartender at my favorite bar is unfairly attractive' au
1162
the 'we both tried to grab the last copy of that book in the shop' au
1156
the 'we have to sing a duet together but i hate you' au
1163
the 'we went to a con/party dressed as a couple on accident' au
1165
the 'we're the only ones in this subway car and the metro broke down' au
1158
the 'you accidentally shipped this weird thing to my apartment' au
1161
the 'you just joined the -sports team here- that i'm the captain of' au
137
the class clown tries to get the pretentious, stoic know-it-all to laugh au
1093
the classic "we're the heads from two rival gangs with nothing but guns, our amazing tactical intelligence and a hell of a lot of sexual tension."
17
the classic huddling together for warmth trope
1883
took your suitcase from the airport baggage claim on accident AU
1145
trapped in a bank during a robbery AU
508
traveling to super crowded cities and taking a couple of days off just to enjoy the feeling of being lost. driving down winding country roads and opening all the windows because it's like being found.
1902
um excuse me but would you mind turning down your music a little bit we're in a bus oh shit you're really cute' au
1029
"well this is really awkward considering the last time we saw each other, i was screaming at you to never talk to me again, but like, my dog recognized you all the way across the park and literally dragged me over here because she misses you so hi" AU
1813
"what do you mean you've lived here for 5 years, i've never seen you in my entire life and i've lived here for 4 years, are you telling me that i baked you these cookies for nothing?" au
1094
"what was the one thing i asked you to do? keep the hostage alive. and what did you do? NOT DO THAT, THAT'S FOR SURE."
1074
"when i asked you to put sunscreen/lotion on my back that's all i wanted you to do, but your hands are like magic and they have my full permission to wander" au
1280
"which ******* hasn't returned the dvd i want yet" au
1463
"who are you, what the hell are you doing in my theatre program, and why are you so damn hot"
1656
"whoa it turns out you were actually just super shy and you're even cuter in person pls kiss me in front of all these cameras" au to followup with that
1815
"why are you just handing out brownies on the street corner, is this a trap? also those brownies look really good can i have one" au
1663
"will you stop flirting with me you just got seriously injured and i'm the EMT trying to tend to your wounds in the ambulance, i don't give a **** that i look cute when i'm concerned, you're lucky you're not dead you dipshit" au
1020
"yes, i know this is your sweatshirt and that we broke up five months ago but it's really comfy okay. i totally don't wear it because like it still smells like you or is the only thing that even remotely feels like home since i moved out. pfft. absolutely not." AU
1649
"you can't get tattooed drunk, come back in the morning and if you still want my name on your ass we'll talk"
1067
"you're really invested in your tv show/book/etc and i don't think you understand how much your absentminded petting is getting to me but like hell am i gonna ask you to stop" au
1466
"you're sitting by me on the airplane and i promise i'm only holding your hand because i hate flying"
1384
"you're sleeping on my best friend's couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all of my cheerios"
1655
"you're so perfect and i'm in love with you but i've never actually met you and you keep avoiding meeting up, so i called nev and max to help me figure out whether or not you're catfishing me" au
1650
"you're super short and i'm sorry but it's really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don't be embarrassed, your face is all red and you're even more adorable now i am going to die" au
1540
"you're the RA and i'm the last resident to leave before spring break so we might as well enjoy each others' company" au
1300
'**** i got you pregnant on a carnival ride we're not telling the kids'
144
'friend of a friend needs a place to stay before they get evicted' au
1299
'stole your flavoured chapstick it's delicious just like i imagined your mouth tasted like pressing up against mine we should try it sometime'
57
i hired a dog walking company and i've never met the person who comes to my apartment but they leave me really cute notes and they give my dog presents and i kind of love them because my dog does and ALSO one of the artists at this gallery opening is hella cute and i want them to paint me like one of their French girls AU
90
"somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul's Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm's really good TV room" AU
86
"there's a cute punk who I keep chatting up at the bike racks outside the library and one of the lecture halls, and I kind of have a crush, but there's no way they'd ever think of me like that, right?" AU
79
"waiting in line at registration because for some reason, the computer system wouldn't just let us sign up for classes there" AU
3
'me and my roommate decided to decorate our house for Halloween but got really into it, and ended up re-enacting several scenes from nightmare on elm street so loud the neighbors called the police to investigate screams' au
2
met at a pumpkin patch fighting over the same perfectly round and picturesque pumpkin
55
my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he's coming to the next holiday party and don't worry he's heard all about me too and ALSO there's this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude's got a good dick
52
my friend can't stop talking about how they want to set me up with their other friend so we start texting each other and they're hilarious but shy about meeting and ALSO there's a cute bike delivery guy who brings my mail at work and winks at me whenever i sign for a package AU
50
my mother brought her new partner home and i am slightly pissed off for no reason and then it turns out her partner has a daughter my age and I'll probably hate her but then we team up to rant about our horribly lovey-dovey parents and it's delightful bc you are so full of rage AU
56
our kids are bitter rivals and the only time we ever meet is when we're both called to the principal's office and whatever maybe i think you're kind of cute but your kid's a monster and ALSO someone keeps buying the last everything bagel at my favorite coffee shop 2 minutes before i get there in the morning and has heard about my plight and has started leaving me bragging notes about it AU
279
"**** I feel like I got hit by a car... Wait I did? And it was your car?"
830
"**** the sandwich guy!"
767
"**** you!"
202
"A mutual friend of ours has this whole vision for their Black and White Photography final and we volunteered to be their models without knowing how sexual this shoot would turn out" AU
1396
"A toddler broke your nose and I may or may not have snapped my thumb during a very intense game of Mario Kart and now we're both sitting next to each other in the hospital waiting room" AU
809
"All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner."
589
"All right, all right! If you're so against it, then we can work together to sabotage our own wedding!"
1107
"Are all humans this cute?"
729
"Are you done with that?"
885
"Are you getting any closer?"
816
"Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I'm that person."
774
"Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you've been dying to ask me?"
580
"Are you scared? Don't be. 'll protect you from today onwards."
735
"Are you still awake..?"
1586
Got into an absurdly heated argument in the comments on a mutual friend's Facebook post AU
145
roommate falls in the shower and breaks an arm' au
148
roommate gets sick and needs tissues and cough sweets and soup' au
146
roommate has a nightmare and doesn't want to sit alone at night' au
369
running is supposed to be good for your health except I seem to have sprained my ankle and I took you out with me I'm so sorry
1279
saw their number graffitied on a toilet stall au
1882
seated together at a family-style restaurant and everyone thinks they're a couple already
1757
secretly have to date so our parents don't find out AU
1138
sent to live with cousins AU
1188
sex shop au
704
"You are not going without me."
866
"You are ridiculously comfortable..."
581
"You are the reason why I can't be happy."
231
"You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous"
821
"You better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass!"
379
"You borrowed a copy of my favourite book several weeks ago and haven't returned it yet. I managed to track you down, where is it?" AU
715
"You can't die. Please don't die."
825
"You cannot fathom the immensity of the ****s I don't give."
1399
"You crashed into me on your bicycle but I'm actually okay, you on the other hand look like you need some first aid" au
717
"You did WHAT?"
578
"You don't have to worry, I'm never going to touch you."
799
"You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that's going to stop us, but at least I'll have all the facts."
555
"You insisted that we used real candles on our Christmas tree this year but now the entire thing is on fire and this is why I don't listen to your ideas" AU
1402
"You just watched me slip on the ice and wind up sitting in the snowbank beside the parking lot. You're laughing and now it's you slipping and your face in the snowbank across from me" au
802
"You know we're suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do."
777
"You know what I like most about people? Pets."
897
"You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex."
1400
"You live across the courtyard from me and saw me dancing and singing enthusiastically to my collection of 90s pop and Disney tv show music and now you can't look me in the eye without laughing" au
306
"You make two lunches every morning and give one of them to me every day" AU
289
"You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen."
1512
"You probably don't remember but you saved me from some bullies once in middle school and ******** it every year you just get hotter" au
200
"You saw me struggling to carry a giant cardboard sculpture for my installation and helped me get it to class" AU
1356
"You sell bibles door to door and keep showing up at my house and I'm horribly unreligious, but you look like you're trying so hard and are kinda cute so I don't have the heart to tell you to **** off" AU
786
"You shouldn't be trusted with small children, should you?"
766
"You shouldn't have said that."
304
"You started sitting by me at lunch because I'm alone at my table but we never talk to each other" AU
1401
"You take my parking spot every few days yes I know they're not assigned but that one is mine" au
789
"You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?"
1366
"You wanna kill yourself and I wanna kill myself and we both meet on this bridge that we're gonna jump off, but we end up talking each other out of suicide" AU
600
"You were the concertmaster and honestly i fell in love you with a bit more every time you stood up to get tuning going" AU
229
"You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf's-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help"
817
"You weren't supposed to laugh! I'm so embarrassed!"
1371
"You work at a mattress store and found me sleeping on one of the mattresses at closing time and you're trying to get me to leave cause you wanna ****ing go home" AU
560
"You're a Christmas caroler and I tried to ambush you with snowballs to make you go away but oh god you're actually cute" AU
1351
"You're a bomb ass assassain and I'm a really shit one and we've been assigned to kill each other shit I'm screwed better start seducing you so I can live" AU
1389
"You're a celebrity and I'm a paparazzo, sorry friend can I take pictures of you to pay my rent next month??" AU
745
"You're a complete moron!"
163
I spilled my lunch on this person one time and now they hate me AU
356
A cuts their finger while preparing dinner, B panics and wants to go to the hospital, C calms B down and deals with A's injury
981
A personal favourite of mine - first day at a new job and oh **** my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night
997
Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what's what)
1213
SWIM TEAM AU
1732
SWIM TEAM AU
1037
Gym rat vampire AU-getting pumped and drinking blood
975
The library's pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere
801
"I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I'm totally flexible."
747
"I can't be in love with you!"
280
"I can't believe I'm sitting in space jail with you of all people."
585
"I can't believe they're making us get together."
1260
"somehow we're both closeted fans of the same stupid thing" AU
1717
"sorry i accidentally time traveled from the future and ended up some how transported into your shower while you were actually showering, i apologize but your hair does smell nice" au
1643
"the building manager neglected to tell me the window washers would be coming by today so excuuuuuuse me for thinking that twenty three floors up was high enough that i could dance around in my office without being seen"
219
"the cereal dispenser in the dining hall broke while i was getting froot loops and now they're all over the floor and you blame me " au
634
"there's a storm and omg i'm losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas"
1068
"this is an sos from a helpless virgin (who doesn't want to be a virgin anymore) to you, the most virile person i know. please teach me how all this works" au
1434
"this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we've ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there's a huge ****ing spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me" au
1814
"this might sound really weird and i promise i'm not like a stalker or anything, but the sunlight is just hitting you in a really ethereal way, anyways can i take a picture of you for my blog?" au (this reminds me of the song You in January by The Wonder Years btw)
1016
"today was the first family gathering i've been to since we broke up and my little cousin that absolutely adored you asked where you were and i had to lock myself in the bathroom and sit in the tub for a half an hour and look through a folder on my phone of pictures i took of you to feel okay again¨ AU
1809
"u r at a haunted house and got separated from your friends and u are very scared, come here, i'll keep you safe" au
212
"uhoh i'm dating my boss' child and had no idea until i took them as my date to a work function" au
1493
"ur just a random stranger and i've been ranting to you for like 20 minutes about how much i hate this one band but now several groups of people came up to you asking for pics and autographs, and oh shit it turns out you're in the band i've been going on about"
1040
"wHY DO YOU ALWAYS ORDER THE SAME DAMN THING AND SIT IN MY SECTION WTH" AU
1426
"we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no ****ing reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???" au
220
"we argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we're still arguing outside of class" au
1424
"we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single ******* time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not" au
1464
"we got into a really heated wii tennis match at the rec center and now i wanna bang you"
1026
"we have a lot of mutual friends so we see each other more than two broken up people usually do and i know we're not really close anymore but you're wearing that stupid (adorable) hat you always wore when you were upset so tell me what's wrong because it's literally killing me to see you look so sad" AU
218
"we have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we're complete strangers" au
629
"we took our kids to santa's workshop and they both wished we would get together"
1072
"we were forced to hide in this very cramped space (from friends/authority figures/people trying to kill us) and this is a very awkward position to be stuck in with someone you're avoiding because they're too attractive for you to deal with" au
626
"we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now...we're just...staring... at each other..."
1542
"we were the only two idiots who came to the ballroom dance class without a partner" au
1271
"we work at opposite ends of a library but we have this book swap thing going on and somehow we started leaving notes in the books" AU
1255
"we work at the same office and never really interacted but suddenly we've been taken hostage" AU
1429
"we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know" au
1492
"we work together in a little diner and i swear to god, you are the ****ing clumsiest person in the entire world, and i keep having to clean up after you whenever you drop a bunch of food and dishes or spill some drinks" au
1840
Airport messed up so now we're the only two passengers on the plane au
254
All of our other neighbors are crazy so we bond over that fact that we're the only normal people on the whole street AU
1168
At a ski lodge and somehow got stuck outside in the middle of the storm but hey look there's a conveniently abandoned cabin I guess the logical thing to do is go in there and snuggle for warmth for the night
946
Arcane Engineering.
955
Banshee's going out of their way to avoid Hospitals and Hospice Care Centers.
967
Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order
947
Barnes and Noble selling common spell books for the everyday mage.
961
Because I really needed money I signed up for a temporary job in a flower shop, since you really needed a pair of hands to help. I have almost no idea how to tend to flowers and compose a bouquet, and you, the strict manager, are really, like, really frustrated with me by the end of first day. I try and try and try, even seek help in the books and internet, and you're still mad with me because I do a lot of things wrong and you have to help me with both flowers and customers. But instead of firing me, as I supposed, you ask me to stay after work so you can teach me the basics. And it's so cool, thank you sooo much, you kinda saved my life and you're not that bad as I thought you were? And are you that short-handed on personnel?
444
Because the universe is sadistic af, it only gave you the first letter of your soulmate's name.
103
Bed sharing. :^) we all pretend we're bigger than this but we are not.
427
Between you and your soulmate, only one of you can see other colors and the other sees black and white. Like you can see all the other colors except black/white/grays, and the other one can only see in black/white/grays. If you two meet, you'll get to see all the colors.
1358
"I just threw away a winning lottery ticket in a park garbage can by accident **** HELP ME LOOK FOR IT I'LL GIVE YOU A PORTION OF THE WINNINGS" AU
62
"I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please."
554
"I just wanted to put Christmas lights up but I ended up falling off the ladder and crashing into you while you were delivering a package to my door but oh god you're hot"
575
"I know it doesn't seem so, but I will take care of you."
588
"I know it's already been arranged, but let me do this properly...Will you marry me?"
1514
"I know this is awkward, my friend saw that I was alone at the dance and they pulled you over to dance with me and I'm sorry" au
325
"I know we just met yesterday but the landlord is coming over and I have 2 cats please hang out with them for a few hours" AU
579
"I look forward to getting to know you better."
746
"I love this song!"
330
"I made too much food wanna come in and help me out oh who set up a table with candles and wine thats weird" AU
282
"I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats."
1331
"I may or may not have robbed a bank just now and please help me get away i'll repay you in sexual favours and also cash" au
724
"I might have had a few shots."
1330
"I moved into the appartment next door and it's 100% haunted please let me crash here for the night" au
159
Don't tell anyone you saw me crying AU
1615
Graffiti artist/ mural painter AU
240
It's like 3AM and my roommate locked me out of the house and I forgot my keys and I'm really drunk pls take pity on me and let me crash at your place for the night o' neighbor of mine AU
422
It's been a busy week and after finally having some time to yourself, you just happened to look at your soulmate clock and see that it's already at 00:00:00:00 and you don't know when that happened because you don't religiously check your clock either.
948
Hermetic masters teaching Mathematics at prestigious universities-and what to do if you perform a certain calculation incorrectly. They're always at office hours, in meticulously clean offices with a single cup of coffee on the desk. They're stern but fair, and many of them reward effort.
1485
"i was eavesdropping on ur phone convo with ur friend who offered you tickets to my favorite band and you don't even want them, do you wanna give me your friend's number maybe?" au
1491
"i was out in public and had an anxiety attack and you left your friends to give me some chocolate and talk me through it, so tysm" au
1432
"i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party" au
1535
"i was short 50 cents to pay for my coffee and you were behind me in line and spotted me" au
1487
"i was super pissed so i went to the gym even tho it's really late at night so i was the only one there and i was at the punching bag listening to music and you surprised me by tapping me on the shoulder, holy shit i didn't mean to punch you, i'm so sorry, but srsly why the hell would you sURPRISE SOMEONE WHO IS ANGRY AND PUNCHING THINGS" au
463
Kind of a reincarnation AU where you're losing the distinction between reality and dreams because when you're asleep, you actually relive your past life, and you're not sure if you'd much rather stay in the past or in the present anymore.
1657
"i'm a quiktrip worker and whenever I work a night shift, you always arrive and buy like 3 cans of redbull and you look exhausted, do you need some help? are you okay?" au
1679
"i'm a radio host who indirectly mentions you and flirts with you on my show but you're so ******* clueless, please just notice me i'm so desperate for you it's kind of sad (see: welcome to night vale)" au
1063
"i'm a rockstar and you're a fan who snuck in and do you maybe wanna help me 'blow off some steam' back stage because ur A) really hot and B) pretty obviously willing" au
1462
"i'm an unlikely wrestling fan and since when did my childhood friend become a pro wrestler"
1250
"i'm at a climbing gym and i need someone to belay me and hey you look about the right size" AU
1653
"i'm at a karaoke bar and i'm sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i've ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit" au
207
"i'm hiring you as a favour to my friend you better be good" au
1642
"i'm in the nurse's office a lot with migraines and you're always in here organizing her tongue depressors and i really don't think you go to this school so what gives"
1476
"i'm interviewing you for the newspaper so will you stop flirting and we can get coffee after?"
1661
"i'm one of those talk show stars that walks up to random people on the streets and asks them really obscure questions, and you're really cute and camera shy and i'm sorry but it's adorable how you stutter when you're nervous, uh, perhaps when there aren't so many cameras surrounding me i can buy you a drink?" au
1205
LASER TAG AU
1724
LASER TAG AU
662
Let's get tattoos together
452
Like above but what if the pain becomes two times or more worse. Imagine someone afraid of pain, and the other soulmate shouldering everything or maybe you can half the pain your soulmate feels if you can't handle taking everything on your own.
1544
"we impulse-bought a guinea pig while drunk and now we have to actually take care of it" au
1713
"we just spent 20 minutes fighting over whether or not advanced algebra is important to know in society, in french class" au
1481
"we live in adjacent apartments and i can't stand you but your dinner literally smells so good can i try some?"
1241
"we somehow ended up in charge of senior prank" AU
1444
"we started arguing about which hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now you're demanding i take you out to dinner is this a date" au
1449
"we started dating after months of sexual tension between us but then you moved across the country so now we're trying to figure out how to make this brand new relationship work long distance" au
548
MY PARENTS WON'T GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT GETTING A SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND THEY'RE HAVING A GET-TOGETHER IN A FEW DAYS PLS PRETEND TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I'M HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU BUT IT SURE IS A NICE BONUS
904
"I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal."
277
"I'm going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else."
713
"I'm going to take care of you, okay?"
894
"I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm really horny, and you're really hot. Can we ****? Like, now?"
836
"I'm gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?"
1392
"I'm helping my niece's girl scout troop sell cookies and hell no, **** off soccer coach, we were here first" AU
228
"I'm in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you've read that book? let's have an in depth conversation about it."
288
"I'm like 75% this won't explode on us."
708
"I'm not jealous."
932
Magazines tailored towards vampires with articles like 'Keeping the spark between you and your donor,' and 'fashionable cover-ups for day-time travel.'
927
Medical schools teach little magics like sealing cuts and dissolving clots as part of the standard curriculum.
672
"Officer, officer, look. My friends just got a bit out of hand, okay? They're not over the top or anything, I promise you. I'm sober, you're sober - yeah, they aren't, but at least they aren't driving, right?" AU
1853
"Oh my god you just screamed 'SO WHAT IF I LIKE YOU WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?' at the top of your lungs in a very crowded restaurant and how about for starters I take you home and get you sober???"
833
"Oh my god, are you okay? I'm calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you."
858
"Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!"
1873
"Ok, so you panicked and kissed the human so he wouldn't drown, but we can't keep him and he can't leave if he knows about us merpeople, so what are we going to do" au
1595
My band plays at this restaurant every Friday and you always show up and make obscure requests and I know you're trying to stump me but you've severely underestimated how much of a music geek I am AU
358
My friend is so determined to fix me up with somebody better than my string of casual coffee date/hookup partners that I didn't have the heart to tell her, after she set us up for a blind date, that I actually met you six months ago
1061
My friend shoved me into your arms and they thought we would accidentally kiss because they have no idea how physics works and I think I broke your jaw with my skull I'm so sorry' AU
1422
My hamster escaped and I think he went under your door au
991
My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra "**** you"?
473
How about like the colors AU except it can be your voice or your hearing instead that comes and goes when your soulmate dies. Imagine how your soulmate's voice is the first and the last thing you'll ever hear.
398
Ok so I know this is illegal but I noticed that you take the same prescription as me and I forgot my meds at my dorm please can you lend me a pill I have a test today that's 30% of my final grade.
1015
Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ
1500
Okay, I don't want to be that jerk but our building has a strict No Pet Policy and your cat will not stop meowing and and I WILL report you and oh no you're cute
986
I really like you but you're my best friend's ex
1011
I sat down in the wrong class and I'm panicking but don't want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it's hilarious and shut up you dumb **** you don't know me aahhh
1864
I saw you on the street while out with my friend; they encouraged me to talk to you but I figured there was no point. A bit later, we walk into a nearby shop and- oh my god I never thought I'd see you again but there you are.
400
I showed up to this haunted house alone because I thought I wouldn't be scared but now I am and I might be holding your hand
224
I skipped like four cycles of reincarnation and I know you're pissed at me for leaving you all those lifetimes but it wasn't my fault please please will you take me back
726
"W- What are you doing?"
1045
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE ON A DATE I'M GONNA **** UP YOUR DATE'S ORDER ON PURPOSE MUAHAHA" AU
1200
"We bonded on the train through our mutual exasperation at another spiderman reboot"
557
"We both bumped into each other under some mistletoe and kissed but it turns out you're the kid from third grade who would tie my shoelaces together and I still hate you for that"
1363
"We both got dragged to this concert for this shitty band by our significant others and we met in the crowd and spend the entire gig talking about better music and making fun of the shitty band" AU
327
"We both got kicked out because our roommates are having sex so now we're playing poker and talking about gardening" AU
1367
"We both sang the loudest at the Sound of Music sing a long" AU
1313
"We both take the metro (or train/shuttle/bus) often and see each other there all the time, we keep staring at each other but have never actually talked, and it's getting weird" au
563
"We both work as gift wrappers in a post store and it's Christmas Eve but nobody is here so we decide to fool around and wrap each other up but oh god our boss is coming and how are we supposed to explain ourselves" AU
707
"What did you say?"
676
"If you suggest drawing straws for designated driver one more time I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KICK YOUR HEAD IN. WE ALL KNOW THAT THE ONLY REASON YOU SUGGEST IT IS BECAUSE YOU HOLD THE STRAWS, MAKING IT SO THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE THE DRIVER." AU
1091
"If you think 'knit, knit, purl,' one more time, I'll stab you with those needles."
1610
Prison chaplain/ wrongfully convicted death row inmate AU
1035
Prohibition-era speakeasy AU with fairy tale AU featuring the complications of being secretly magical and smuggling when you can't actually lie
794
"If you're not scared, then you're not taking a chance. If you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?"
890
"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
880
"Is that a- Wait, no, just an airplane."
1083
"Is that really what you think about my ass?"
818
"It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line."
823
"It's a real shame nobody asked for your opinion."
874
"It's actually a comet, but I'll still make one."
1089
"It's coffee you're craving. Go get some. And bring me some. You made me want it, too."
586
"It's crazy, isn't it? Two complete strangers who know nothing about each other being brought together like this."
1323
"It's exam seasons and I just found you trying to drown yourself in a bowl of ramen noodles" au
838
"It's midnight, what do you want?"
845
"It's not a double date, we're just third and forth wheeling."
741
"It's not fair!"
785
"It's not that you're wrong, exactly, you're just extremely not right."
859
"Your hair is so soft..."
335
"Your laundry got mixed up with mine somehow and now we're sitting in silence sorting underwear" AU
1315
"Your mail keeps coming to my address which is really weird since they're nothing alike, but it turns out our mutual friend who wants to set us up keeps switching the mail on purpose" au
556
"Your mom is coming over for Christmas and I'm trying my best to impress her but now the Christmas cookies are on fire and you're tipsy from the eggnog I made for later" AU
1259
"actor at a haunted house/person who punches the actor in the face" AU
1270
"at a concert and you kinda saved me from being trampled" AU
203
"banged someone last night and it turns out they're interviewing me for my new job" au
594
" have been eagerly awaiting the day I could finally meet you...and I am not disappointed. You are beautiful."
1275
"hang on a second, that's my car you're towing!" AU
1423
"hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you are my childs teacher" au
344
A is a Marvel fan and B is a DC fan, C doesn't care either way and always mixes them up
1221
I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding' AU
688
I'm the director and you repeatedly show up late with starbucks.
1038
Mermaid college AU
1177
Sleepy kisses
1830
You get stuck in the weirdest places au
1881
fender bender AU
317
werewolf gladiators au
1017
¨i still have your phone number memorized even though i haven't called you since we split and somehow i remembered it even though i've had like six shots of bourbon and hey, i know you're pissed that you're here at this dingy club at 3 in the morning to pick my drunk ass up, but you have to admit that's pretty impressive¨ AU
790
"Despite the cliche, it's not me, it's you."
887
"Did something just happen? You're not turned on anymore."
733
"Did you do this on purpose?!"
882
"Did you just... finish?"
783
"Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?"
782
"Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system."
778
"Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"
828
"Do you need me to kill someone for you?"
703
"Do you want me to leave?"
723
"Don't ask me that..."
592
"Don't cry. I promise I will love you and protect you to the best of my ability, til death do we part."
900
"Don't give me that face, it's so cute I might not be able to hold back."
739
"Don't give me that look! It wasn't my fault!"
584
"Don't run away from this, from me!"
749
"Don't tempt me."
763
"Don't yell at me."
843
"Don't you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!"
819
"Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole."
1115
"Dude, just because I come from a different planet doesn't mean I can't understand English. Yes this does mean I did understand that comment you made about my butt."
755
"Eat me."
814
"Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?"
736
"Excuse you?"
719
"Get outta my sight!"
787
"Give me cake or give me death."
864
"HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn't I?"
1641
"HEY STOP! YOU'RE STEALING MY NEIGHBOR'S DOG! WHAT THE FU - oh, they hired a dog walker? hahaha haha.. ha... carry on"
75
"Hello I'm your boss and you're the new employee who just saw me shove an entire cupcake into my mouth."
852
"Hello little one. We can't wait to meet you..."
1348
"I sent you one of those really intense texts (the type of texts I mean can be found on this Twitter account) that was supposed to go to the actual person I'm dating, but I tapped the wrong convo and you think it was actually for you and I don't have the heart to tell you otherwise" AU
740
"I shouldn't be in love with you!"
599
"I suck at music theory and you got the highest grade on the last exam. Please be my tutor?" AU
706
"I swear it won't happen again."
839
"I think I know how to use a bed."
846
"I think I'm pregnant."
795
"I think I've been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again."
893
"I think it's about time we stop avoiding the obvious."
568
"I think our friends are catching on that we're dating. Let's mess with them."
1051
"I thought running away and joining the carnival would be better than my life at home, but I was so wrong." AU
65
"I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass in greeting."
1047
"I tried to be slick and write my number on your napkin but you wiped it all over your face and oh there's pen ink all over you now, lemme get that for you" AU
797
"I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside."
553
"I tried to order you presents online but they're not here and it's ****ing Christmas Eve so now I'm desperately going from store-to-store in search of something to give you" AU
1397
"I tried to rescue you from being mugged but instead I got knocked out and you had to take me to the hospital after having your wallet stolen" au
558
"I tried to woo you by baking Christmas cookies but I didn'T KNOW YOU WERE ALLERGIC TO VANILLA AND NOW I HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL I'M SO SORRY I RUINED YOUR CHRISTMAS" AU
1043
"I tripped and spilled the dish on you and started panicking but you ended up comforting me despite the fact that you're covered in sauce and meatballs how are you so nice" AU
299
"I twisted my ankle and you're the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse's office but we're both really awkward" AU
1857
"I understand that you're my bodyguard but that was a freaking FRISBEE not a nuclear bomb jesus christ- Hey why are you still on top of me and why have I not noticed how beautiful you are?"
290
"I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don't understand is the princess dragon dream and why I'm in it."
798
"I vote today to be a pajama day."
338
"I walked in on your ex yelling at you so you grabbed me and kissed me so she'd go away and I'm kind of freaked out I literally just met you last week" AU
1114
"I was always taught that humans were really horrible creatures, but something must be wrong with your DNA because you're the most adorable, funny human I've ever seen... did I say that outloud?"
1869
"I was just taking a walk through the woods and I didn't think Fae really existed, and I really don't think I'll accept any food from you" au
1112
"I was meant to only come to Earth to get information about humans so my race could figure out how to dominate the planet but I think I'm falling in love with my test subject, shit."
1199
"I was on my balcony playing music and you were walking past and stopped to listen because it's your favourite band too" AU
305
"I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don't know you" AU
1513
"I was rehearsing lines for the romantic lead and I didn't see you through that window, I had no idea that YOU were playing my romantic interest and now I can't remember a single line" au
1507
"I was the poor loser you lent your umbrella to yesterday, my cat scratched the fabric open and i'm so sorry" au
1337
"I was trying to take a sneeky picture of you because i told my friend about the hot guy on the train and she wanted to see but you totally noticed and yeah this is awkward" au
1343
"I went to see you live in concert and was front row and you went into the crowd and I grabbed your hand, but started freaking out so much that I was touching you that I couldn't let go to the point where security had to physically tear me away from you and now you've invited me backstage literally what" AU
562
"I work as a bartender and you're here at 3 am on Christmas Eve taking shots because you got dumped and I really just wanna go home and sleep but now you're crying and I feel bad" AU
1472
"I work for the alethic department and you're a male cheerleader and I find that really hot"
561
"It's the day before Christmas Eve and we were fighting over the same present to get someone but as we were pulling the present from each other I let go and you ended up hitting yourself in the face and now you're really bruised oh god I'm so sorry, you can have the present I was being childish" AU
771
"It's you, it's always been you."
732
"It's your fault we're in this mess."
757
"Just admit I'm right."
758
"Just admit you're wrong."
773
"Just pretend to be my date".
861
"Just relax, I'll wash your hair for you."
752
"Just shut up already."
674
"KELSEY, SOBER-DIALING IS NOT A THING. NO, STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A THING. GIVE. THAT. TO. ME." AU
892
"Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction."
104
"Kiss me while everyone's looking."
734
"Kiss me."
756
"Kiss my ass."
743
"Knock it off!"
1088
"Less homicidal thoughts about your annoying coworker right now, please. I'm in a meeting over here."
576
"Let's get this straight, I'm only agreeing with this arrangement so my parents would shut up."
761
"Listen to me!"
1868
"Listen, I am genetically modified and on the run and you will let me hide in your house"
829
"Look out where you're going, *******!"
1874
"Look, I honestly didn't mean to run into any awkward werewolves on my hike and why would I tell anyone about it, what do you mean 'take me to your leader' are you serious. How cliché can you be" au
781
"Love is the jelly to sunshine's peanut butter. And if I tell you that I'm in sandwich with you, I'm not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag."
748
"Make me."
702
"Marry me."
492
"Maybe Jack Frost isn't nipping at your nose, but I can do that instead ;)" "Oh my god shut up"
1870
"My dragon is acting sick and you specialize in dragon illnesses, please take a look at it. Wait, why are you laughing" au
1336
"My friends dared me to go on this rollercoaster but now that we're at the top it looks way too scary and hellO hot person sitting next to me (careful i might puke)" au
198
"My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway" AU
984
"My shower's broken but I've got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?" "Oh sure (neighbour that I've been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (**** **** ****)"
1858
"Our mutual friend apparently has been waiting for us to get together and so they're very angry/disappointed/upset when they find out that the reason we kissed last night was because we were black-out drunk, but hey I actually do like you so how's lunch sound after we're done being hungover and can actually stand being in the sunlight?"
74
"Please don't tell anyone that I carry a stuffed animal around with me and even talk to it."
285
"Please put me down it's just a sprained ankle"
283
"Please stop petting the test subjects. "
851
"Pregnancy suits you..."
278
"Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!"
718
"Quit whining."
716
"Run away with me."
1258
"STOP BEATING ME AT THIS STUPID MMO" AU
727
"Say it!"
744
"Screw you!"
855
"Shh... He/she's sleeping.."
888
"Shit sorry, am I going too fast?"
873
"Shooting star, make a wish."
768
"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you."
523
"So I'm hypoglycemic and you're my coworker who likes to give me baked goods 'just in case' and wow you're a good chef also you're rlly cute"
286
"So what if I broke my arm I'm still doing it."
281
"So why did I have to punch that guy?"
574
"So you're my future bride/groom? You're not what I expected at all."
298
"Someone wrote I'm cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting"
811
"Sorry! I didn't mean to touch your butt."
714
"Stay the night. Please."
731
"Stop pinning this on me! You started it!"
1084
"Stop projecting so much belligerent boredom. I love this TV show."
1867
"Sure, I'm an alien but I don't know why you'd think I'd abduct people. But there's a great eatery across the galaxy if you want to check it out" au
1274
"THAT IS NOT HOW YOU HOLD A CHILD" AU
1711
"THE APOCALYPSE IS HAPPENING WOULD YOU STOP LIVETWEETING ABOUT IT FOR TEN SECONDS AND PASS ME THAT KNIFE JESUS ****" au
898
"Take off your clothes."
531
"Tbh you read WebMD way too much and no, that sneeze was not a possible sign of a chronic illness leave me alone"
899
"Tell all those other guys/girls you don't need them 'cause you got me."
1090
"Thanks for the road rage thoughts. I'll take the back roads home. See you in an hour."
1339
"That ******* stole my song at karaoke night" au
753
"That doesn't even make sense."
1338
"That is a hideous shirt you should totally just take it off" au
284
"That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit."
808
"That's almost exactly the opposite of what I meant."
760
"That's irrational."
764
"That's it. End of discussion."
762
"That's not what I meant and you know it."
564
"There's this christmas dance and I wanted to ask you to go with me, so I planned this elaborate idea to ask you out but when the plan went through this girl that has a crush on me was there too and thought I asked her to the dance instead but oh god I didn't mean for this to happen but now you're mad at me and I don't know how to make it up to you"
872
"These stars are nothing compared to the ones I've seen in your eyes."
883
"They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous."
1393
"This has been a very bad week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food at the supermarket" AU
60
"This horrible umbrella won't extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I'm so sorry."
737
"This is all your fault!"
822
"This is the dumbest thing you've ever done."
1041
"This is the tenth time you've asked for a refill are you ok" AU
879
"This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?"
807
"This would not happen if I had a penis!"
803
"Those things you said yesterday... Did you mean them?"
813
"To the night you'll never remember!"
1105
"Uhm, hey, long story short I'm not from around here and there are people (with guns) chasing after me please please please let me hide in your house?"
1855
"Umm okay I'm sorry you always thought your love for me was unrequited but on to more important matters YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING SO YOU HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE YOU *******!!!"
710
"We can't keep doing this."
1109
"We crashlanded on Earth and despite being rivals we're too scared to think straight and we keep clinging onto each other for dear life, oh god those humans think we're a couple, quick you zogloid kiss me before they realise anythi— damn, you actually did it."
1354
"We got into an arguement in the comments section of a Youtube video/article/forum and you wanna keep arguing about it via email/Skype so you can prove me wrong" AU
597
"We had a one night stand and now I find out I'm taking private lessons from you" AU
601
"We have to do a recital together because all the time slots are filled up but i really, really hate your guts" AU
842
"We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL."
1195
"We live in adjacent apartments and one day I accidentally knocked a hole in the wall and into your living room I'm really sorry oh my god you're naked" AU
1194
"We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall" AU
334
"We met at a cafe and started flirting but when I left you started following me and I got creeped out and called you a stalker but it turns out you just live in the same building this is so awkward" AU
1197
"We sat next to each other during a really sad film and now we're sharing tissues silently whilst we cry at the cinema" AU
870
"We should get a puppy!"
605
"We slept together that one time and now we have group lessons together and can this get any more awkward?" AU
1049
"We sneaked into the circus without paying, but we got caught and now we're being punished by seeing all of the terrible, gruesome things that go on behind the scenes." AU
1193
"We take a dance class together and our next routine calls for partnerwork, and we got put togeth-STop standing on my foot!" AU
779
"What about a compromise? I'll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I'll apologize."
1104
"What am I if I fall in love with a being from a different planet? ... No, i'm just wondering of course."
377
"What do you mean we can't get a bookstore cat? I don't care if you're allergic, it'll bring people to the store!" AU
678
"What even IS "SOBER," MAN. HOW DO YOU DEFINE "SOBER????" "What I'm not right now" hahaha YOU'RE A FUNNY ONE AREN'T YOU." AU
796
"What have I told you about the toilet seat?"
730
"What's going on here?"
725
"What's with the box?"
863
"What, does that feel good?"
1042
"When I asked you what you wanted to order, you said "you" and now I'm kinda blushing?? And you look mildly horrified??" AU
844
"When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life."
848
"When were you going to tell me that you're pregnant?"
793
"When you love someone, you just don't stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy... even then. Specially then!"
1314
"Whenever I get coffee at your Starbucks you spell my name wrong and it's turned into a challenge to see how wrong you can get it" au
1318
"Who the **** keeps buying all of my favourite junk food from the local super market"
276
"Who wouldn't be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!"
1082
"Why are you making a grocery list in your head while we're having sex?"
720
"Why are you so annoying?"
1854
"Why are you so clingy people will think we're dating- I know we are but you're the one who wants it to be secret you moron!"
886
"Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like ****!"
287
"Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?"
1321
"Why is the love of my life wearing that ridiculous costume to school, it's not even Halloween, what the actual ****" au
877
"Wouldn't it be cool to name a star after yourself?"
889
"Wow, you're hot."
878
"Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze."
620
"YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY ****ING YEAR"
627
"YOU DON'T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE"
1471
"YOU LIKE GAME OF THRONES TOO?"
1398
"Yeah yeah I'm the person who tripped and fell on their face to get to the podium on stage for the welcome speech at freshman orientation" au
1866
"Yeah, your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I've seen everything. Even that dance party for one" au
677
"Yes, drinking this alcohol will make you lose weight, guaranteed. For the low price of...why hello there! Me, a swindler? No, no of course not. I would never." AU
1086
"Yes, that sounds much better in your head."
1039
"You always come in and order the same thing so I just let the chef know ahead of time if I see you coming in" AU
1198
"You and I both got arrested for holding up traffic to let a duck with ducklings cross the road and now we're in the same holding cell" AU
667
"You and I have only just met, but I truly do feel some sort of connection between the two of us - perhaps it's the lack of alcohol talking, or the general need to leave my drunken ******* friends behind because they made me the designated driver, but let's get out of here, yeah?" AU
759
"You are being ridiculous!"
841
"You are completely unfit to handle a child."
751
"You are infuriating!"
591
"You are mine now. Don't look at anyone else."
1672
"i catch you at the bus terminal shivering your ass off because it's 30 degrees and for some godforsaken reason you're wearing a short sleeve t shirt, so out of pity i lend you my hoodie and you look so surprised it's the cutest thing i've ever seen, setting aside the fact that you're a ******* idiot, do you want to get sick?" au
1071
"i chickened out of sex ages ago and you haven't brought it up since but now i really want it, but i'm terrible at communication, so let me just strip shirtless/model lingerie for you until you snap" au
636
"i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you're getting really mad but you don't know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can't wait to see your face"
1545
"i didn't pay my bill so my water is shut off, can i please shower in your flat?" au
1808
"i fell down and am now hysterically laughing on the floor and my friend has a bad sense of humour and called out 'is anyone here a doctor?!' and you are now trying to save me"
1028
"i found your box of letters underneath my bed last night and because i'm a nosy mother****er i decided to read them and it turns out they were all addressed to me and the last one was dated the day you moved out and i'm not quite sure why i thought this would be a good idea but here i am, standing on your doorstep, wondering why the **** we're not together anymore" AU
1070
"i get that it's hotter than satans ******* out here but if you remove any more clothing i won't be responsible for my actions-wait. why are you smirking at me?" au
1237
"i go to this restaurant every week and sit at the same table and suddenly you're my new server" AU
616
"i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you've always wanted, hoping you'll never find out it's from me - and that i've been in love with you 1234567 years"
1225
"i have no idea how to work this washing machine, can you help me?"
1475
"i keep running into you on this cruise and i don't know if i hate you or just want to have sex with you"
1383
"i knew you in high school and i ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia"
1097
"i knew you were too perfect, of ****ing course you had to be the leader of the mafia. of ALL things, the leader of the mafia???"
1264
"i know i stole your headphones but believe me I REALLY NEED THEM" AU
615
"i know we hate each other but it's christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside"
1025
"i know we were never officially together or anything but seeing that picture you posted on [insert social media] with him/her literally felt like you carved my heart out of my chest and stomped on it and i'm not really sure why i'm leaving this voicemail but my pillow still smells like you and i miss your stupid face" AU
1812
"i literally screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of the library and now everyone is staring at me but there was a really big ****ing spider, okay? now someone come kill it" au
621
"i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW"
1448
"i meant to text the contact one above you in my phone's contact list for a booty call but i didn't realize i hit your name until i sent it so now i'm just sitting here feeling those little three dots hardcore judging me" au
1265
"i need to knit my friend a present so can you maybe teach me how to knit" AU
1709
"i play literally the straightest character to ever straight on television which is why everyones super surprised when in reality i came out with my boyfriend/girlfriend bc what do u mean your gay now / well im not my character" au
1235
"i promise i'm not hitting on you but you smell really good"
1239
"i saw you taking selfies and i wondered if i could take one with you" AU
1541
"i sit behind you in lecture and bio1102 is really not the time or place to watch porn on your laptop" au
624
"i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let's get inside under a blanket"
1024
"i still have your sister's scarf and i know it's stupid but i've been hoping maybe one day you'll come by and pick it up so we'll be forced to talk again because i haven't seen you in months and i'm maybe kinda sorta still in love with you" AU
1543
"i swear i didn't see you running and i just wanted to make my daughter happy by driving through the biggest puddle in the road" au
1480
"i swear to god, if you tell anyone i take zumba you are dead"
1288
"i think your dog likes my dog" au
1256
"i thought someone was breaking into my apartment but it turns out you just forgot your key and thought this was your place" AU
1069
"i thought you were literally the most innocent thing to ever exist but then you awkwardly ask me to teach you how to bang like a pro and holy hell what the **** but now i'm really, really turned on" au
215
"i thought you were my new roommate's boyfriend so i casually invited you in but you're actually the RA of the dorm and now you think i want to have sex with you" au
217
"i took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you're staring at me weirdly" au
1382
"we're both at the grocery store at 3 am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal"
1667
"i'm so sorry i've been stowing away on your ship but i'm lonely and tired and starving with nowhere to go so please take pity on my poor soul bc you're the sweetest pirate i have ever met and since we're in the middle of the ocean now there's no way you're taking me back to land anytime soon" au
1805
"i'm sorry, did i hear you right? did u just say that you're voting for Donald Trump?" au
1675
"i'm swimming laps in a lake alone at night and i thought no one else was here but i just swam right into you and uh?? you're not wearing a shirt and you're hot as hell pl ease take me right here" au
1447
"i'm the lawyer helping you get custody of your daughter and oops you're all kinds of adorable with her and also i think she's growing attached to me is this good or bad" au
1445
"i'm the private investigator that was hired by your ex to track you down and you totally caught me sitting outside your apartment in a rental car so hi what up" au
1240
"i'm the sarcastic techie who got dragged into running your stupid presentation" AU
1238
"i've been breaking my phone on purpose just because you work at the help desk" AU
1439
"i've been travelling a lot and somehow you're in every single city i go to seriously what the **** who even are you how are you doing this" au
214
"i've been working for here for about two minutes i have no idea what i'm doing you've been here for years please help" au
1095
"i've had my fair share of hostages in my times, but for ****'s sake you are by far the sassiest and most problematic hostage i've ever had. i don't CARE IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE YOU'RE MY HOSTAGE WHAT PART OF THIS DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND"
1242
"i've walked into your classroom four times by mistake can you please help me learn my way around this stupid school" AU
1494
"idk you but you were getting hit on in public and you look super uncomfortable so i walked over and pretended to be your bf/gf, but hey while we're at it, do you wanna go get some food?" au
1425
"im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the **** that is and im scared to ask" au
1430
"im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit"au
1427
"im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???" au
1710
"im not saying you cant be a stripper and that youre lying im just saying you act like too much of a ball of sunshine to be a stripper so i might need to see physical proof of this job" au
1719
"im not telling you i found a baby dragon, but i found a baby dragon, and i cant just hide it in our shed so i need you to help me hide it, i'll trade you that potion youve been asking for this help, liKE LOOK HOW CUTE" au
1096
"im trying to form a gang but so far it only consists of one person, wanna make it two?"
1268
"is that REALLY what you want us to write on your custom-order cake?" AU
1443
"it seems we're the only two people in this class that actually know what the **** is going on want to team up for this project and ruin everybody's lives" au
1646
"it's 2 in the morning and i was just trying to get home but i left my sunroof open all day and now there's a squirrel in my car and it scared me and i drove into a pole - would you please stop laughing you're a cop. you're supposed to be helping"
1212
"it's 2am and i'm drunk and i need some ******* french fries right now so open your ****ing door' AU
1731
"it's 2am and i'm drunk and i need some ******* french fries right now so open your ****ing door' AU
1092
"it's not everyday you're mistaken for the newest member of one of the most dangerous criminal gangs in all of history, i think you're the only one who's realised i have NO idea what im doing. please please please dont' say anything, i dont fancy dying just yet!"
1451
"it's the middle of the night and i'm walking home alone in the dark and there's this guy following me and he's starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don't even know you but help me" au
1801
"it's two in the morning, why are you on a run right now, you live in the city, this is not safe" au
1431
"its 4 am and im drunk as **** in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes" au
1023
"it´s my [insert family relation here]´s wedding and seeing all these happy couples is killing me and all i can think about is how this was almost us" AU (bonus: "i know that it's two in the morning and i'm dressed really formally and a little (a lot) bit drunk but i couldn't stop thinking about you after my grandma asked how you were doing also can i come in it's freezing out here")
1716
"listen i didnt mean to walk in on you trying on lingerie but i want you to know that is not your color, pls try this on instead, also if you have any other questions, im at the cashiers desk ok sor - oh my god pls put that back its our worst thingin this story, ok no im sorry im sorry im leaving pls dont be mad at me" au
210
"we're both competing for the same promotion" au
1677
"my friends dared me to buy 20 condoms but i didn't realize that the cute cashier would be working tonight so i avoided eye contact as i piled them onto the counter and please stop laughing so hard, oh my god it's for a dare okay i've never had sex in my life and once you stopped laughing, i swear i fell in love with that sparkle in your eye as you grinned wildly at me and asked me out for a drink" au
1442
"my guitarist quit the night before the gig that could mean the big break for a band that i have put my soul into and supposedly you're really good but i swear to god if you screw this up for me i will hunt you down and slit your throat" au
1804
"my idiot of a friend just tripped you and ran away and now you think it's me wow you're mad i'm so sorry" au
1720
"my kid might have stole your wallet/purse, and then spent the money in there on candy bars while i was checking out, im so sorry, let me buy you coffee to make it up for it?" au
1664
"my mom/sister/dad/brother/best friend doesn't know we're dating but one day he/she/they walked in on us making out and started cheering oh my god this is so embarrassing i'm so sorry" au
1438
"my parents moved me halfway across the world when we were twelve and before that we were best friends but now i'm back and moving in across the hall from you so hi?" au
1659
"my sister tried to set me up with her friend but little does she know that i am hella gay and i end up falling in love with her smoking hot brother, and whenever i hang at her place we always tell my sister that it's for a date when really she's now just trying to set me up with her brother" au
1441
"ngl i thought you were the weak one of this friend group but your whole life just went to complete shit around you and somehow you're still acting the same so if you want to be weak you can be around me" au
1073
"normally we duke it out to vent our frustrations but this time someone initiated a kiss in the middle of the fight and suddenly we're ****ing against the nearest flat surface" au
1022
"oh hi, totally didn't expect to see you here at this one hole in the wall coffee shop literally no one in the entire world besides you knows about. what a coincidence." AU
1473
"oh shoot, i texted the wrong number, but can we keep talking?"
1807
"oh, excuse me, you dropped this cash on the ground- wAIT is this a HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL" au
1262
"oh, these are your Birkenstocks?" AU
1806
"ok you've been trying to put on that eyeliner almost the entire bus ride and you're strugglin, so i'ma help you out" au
980
"okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, **** I'm going to die aren't I?"
1436
"okay i get it you're a great thief and don't want to go to jail but i'm the exhausted af detective that's assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i'll get you a good deal" au
1437
"okay i get that there are no seats left in this cafe but like i am trying to read here no you cannot have this chair my feet are using it thank you very much please get out of my face now" au
1483
"okay, i realize that it's closing time, but it's raining and i'm really into this book, can you just like wait a little bit before you close up pls?" au
1803
"omg apparently you're the person who sends me anons on tumblr to check up on me tysm" au
1539
"omg i hate that classic song too" au
206
"oops i accidentally banged my new boss" au
1269
"our stage got flooded, can we borrow your theater?" AU
1236
"please for the love of god help you're the only one here who speaks English" AU
1253
"rival sandwich shops" AU
1064
"seven minutes in heaven with my longtime crush but we get locked in for hours bc our friends forgot about us" au
1467
"since when do you take judo?!"
1276
"singing along to the same radio station in separate cars with the windows open" AU
1019
"so i know we haven't talked in like, two years, and that things ended pretty badly between us but what the **** do you mean you're engaged to be married¨ AU
1718
"so i stole a car and you were asleep in it, still, oops" au
1027
"so like, i know we broke up and stuff but funny story, i haven't told my family yet and they just assumed you'd be coming with me for [insert family celebration] and i really don't know how to tell them and i know this is really selfish but i can't break my great grandma's heart like that, she'll probably have a heart attack and- wait what? you'd do that for me? holy shit, i love you... wait-" AU
1450
"so not to be rude or anything but i've been coming to this cemetery at this time on this day every week for ****ing years and i've always been alone up until now seriously what the hell" au
1712
"so we bumped into each other in the dorm hallway and some how i picked up your dvd full of porn and you picked up my favorite romcom, so this an awkward exchange" au
1802
"so you knock on my door saying that you live in the apartment above me and want me to make you food even though we've never talked before???" au
130
'Having drawn the short straw I'm the guy who has to explain to you why we can't take out a hit on an entire landmass.' AU
1638
'I accidentally dropped you while you were crowd surfing and you broke your ankle and now I feel responsible so I'm carrying you out of the moshpit' au
1054
'I am going to kill my friend because they sent me on a blind date and I couldn't turn them down without explaining that I have a huge crush on them' AU
124
'I can only assume we're both missing part of the story here because that was supposed to kill you.' AU
129
'I don't know who you are or how you got in here but I need you to give back at least some of the armory.' AU
1532
'I forgot about the dress code at this event/meeting/whatever and can tell you're bothered by it and now I'm torn between feeling bad about my clothes and being amused at your indignant reaction' AU
1640
'I found you on the roof of my house passed out with a black eye holding a fire extinguisher' au
1635
'I got in my car and you were sleeping in the backseat who the hell are you and how did you get into my car' au
119
'I haven't decided if I'm actually going to kill you yet but first, either way, what did you DO to piss off the Canadians so badly.' AU
1519
'I just met you and like you a lot but I found out you're going to college in Kansas, of all places, so I'm not gonna pursue a close friendship/relationship bc of the distance' AU
1526
'I thought you were my friend so I spoke to you in the store and whoops you're not my friend but hey you're beautiful have a nice day' AU
1529
'I tripped on my high heel going down a hill and you helped me up and made sure I was okay thank you stranger oH MY GOSH YOU HAVE MY FAVORITE BAND ON YOUR SHIRT' AU
1639
'I walked into the public bathroom at a mcdonalds and you're dangling halfway out of an air vent do I even want to know what you were doing' au
1222
'I'm a werewolf but I'm embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a chihuahua' AU
1741
'I'm a werewolf but I'm embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a chihuahua' AU
1534
'I'm at an acquaintance's wedding and don't really know anyone but my favorite song is playing and I'm bouncing on my feet 'cuz I really wanna dance and you noticed and asked me thank you so much ily stranger' AU
122
'I'm intrigued; the last three attempts on my life were much better funded and prepared.'
121
'I'm meant to kill you but I've been watching you for a week to work out how and you're just too nice.' AU
131
'Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot back there but we are literally the only two people on this boat who are not assassins, so...' AU
118
'My apologies, upon closer inspection it turns out that you are not the person I was hired to kill.' AU
1206
'Omg I can't believe you still listen to CDs let me help you digitize' AU
1725
'Omg I can't believe you still listen to CDs let me help you digitize' AU'
1053
'Our mutual friend just told me that you have a crush on me and when I told you and asked if it was true you said that they told you I'm the one with the crush on you, now we're planning our revenge over dinner' AU
127
'So let me get this straight. You nuked my entire home city and you still didn't manage to kill me?' AU
120
'They never told me the target was also a trained killer. Did they tell you?' AU
1055
'Those two are such dorks. Wait they like each other? LET'S LOCK THEM IN A CLOSET- Don't give me that look you knew what I was like when you asked me out' AU
117
'Wait, you've been hired to kill this guy too?!' AU
1077
'a mutual friend tried to introduce us, but we already knew each other from LARPing but we're both too embarrassed to admit that so i jokingly said we used to date and oh god now our friend wont stop interrogating us about it' au
1303
'did i just hear you say steampunk vampire fashion? do go on'
1310
'how is watching game of thrones with you making me so horny??'
183
'i called the wrong number and started talking about my life and you only interrupted me after a few a few minutes of me revealing some pretty personal stuff and now you're invested in my life troubles' au
1076
'i didn't want to tell my friend who my real date last night was so i just pointed at a random stranger (you) but now they're storming over to interrogate you and you're playing along??? okay' au
1308
'i drew you a mathematical heart curve for valentine's day u nerd'
1
'i got caught staring at my adult neighbor raking up a bunch of leaves in their backyard and jumping into them and now have to awkwardly pretend i saw nothing' au
171
'i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that's why you're here right now also what the **** is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger's backyard in the middle of the night' au
519
'i offer you my bed to sleep in bc our respective roommates are getting it on in your room and take the sofa to sleep on only i wake up back in my bed with your tiny body wrapped around me and damn me if it isn't the cutest thing i've ever seen' au
1151
'i'm pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u' AU
1890
'i'm scared of the dentist so i brought my best friend along for support but they've been flirting with the dentist for the past fifteen minutes and now i'm third wheeling at my own dentist appointment' au
1307
'i'm the experienced porn star and you're the new cameraman and boy do i like the look of you maybe WE should be screwing around heh'
194
'i've had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i'm so sorry' au
1078
'im egging your house for a dare but your parent is a cop and they're yelling at me so i told them that you were my ex and you wronged me and now you're coming outside and please go along with this i don't want to go to jail' au
1298
'im literally carrying your drunk ass home in my arms and you're in a glittery wedding dress you DONT own'
1305
'im really sorry i keep staring but i dreamed about you horribly dying last night and i just wanted to make sure you dont spontaneously combust'
1079
'my current partner is a huge ******* and i need a reason to break up with them so will you pretend to be my possessive and violent ex' au
1517
'my friends forced me to be in this stupid Christmas play - oh, your's did too?' AU
1525
'my mom caught you checking me out in the store and confronted you so now I have to save you from her wrath - also...were you really checking me out?' AU
1075
'my new romance-obsessed friend asked me who my last date was with and i was too embarrassed to say i've never been on a date so i blurted your name and it turns out they know you' au
1891
'my parents are rly religious and forced me to this meeting i hate everything the entire world is against me what the actual **** did a stranger just send me nudes' au
1302
'my roommate likes you too we're gonna duel for your hand with forks'
521
'my roommate told you to crash in her room during a party that you're not really in the mood for but you end up in my bed bc she'd switched the room signs over that morning so people would stop having sex in her room only now the party's over and i can't bring myself to kick you out bc you look so peaceful and cute and also bc people are sTiLl having sex in her room so i climb into the bed with you and man you smell so. good.' au
1312
'nobody told me about this stain on my blouse all day except you that was considerate thanks but did you really have to be so ****ing blunt'
1309
'oops paid for a callgirl but neither of us speak each other's language'
1306
'our friends not-so-secretly want us to hook up but im aromantic-oh wait you're ace okay great let's go play pinball across the hall'
1376
'person a falls down the stairs when rushing to get a package from delivery person b' au
1892
'pls chill out it's only p.e. it's not the olympics it's just p.e. chill' au
1301
'so here's this really extravagant bouquet i had the florist put together for you and here's me rambling for twenty minutes about what each flower symbolizes because i'm nervous as hell and did the research at 2am'
1202
'we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we're standing in the hallway avoiding each other' AU
1721
'we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we're standing in the hallway avoiding each other' AU
1530
'we both were going for the last mountain dew and our hands kind of tripped over each other and in a vain attempt to diffuse the awkwardness I said something about how unhealthy mountain dews are' AU
189
'we keep getting arrested at the same protests and at this point i think i'm only starting fights with policemen so i can sit next to you in holding' au
1637
'we somehow got stuck overnight in an ikea and I just want to go to sleep in one of the display beds but you're slowly convincing me that it'd be fun to see how much shit we can get into before the morning staff come to open up the store' au
192
'we started going home together but i was convinced i knew a faster way to your apartment so we took a wrong turn and now we're lost and drunk and a little cold' au
1636
'we take the same elevator every day and due to a misunderstanding I assumed you didn't speak english and I've been talking to my friend about how hot you are for three weeks and apparently my friend has known from the start but you agreed not to tell me bc you both think its hilarious what the ****' au
1531
'we're at an event/meeting/whatever where there's a semi-formal dress code and I'm slayin in my outfit but you showed up in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm really trying not to go over and get on to you for it so I just vent a little to my friend and you heard us I'm so sorry I didn't want to be rude or anything- but seriously dude?' AU
1520
'we're both doing community service and painting a house, and start talking because it's boring as hell' AU
1522
'we're both in a teen organization/club/thing in our city and you ask me for help because I'm a veteran and you just started' AU
1521
'we're both in a teen organization/club/thing in our city and you're really good at what you do and I admire you a lot, could you maybe give me a few pointers?' AU
1523
'we're both in a teen organization/club/thing in our city and you've never given a public statement before and the leader is making you give one in five minutes, oh my gosh let me write one for you' AU
1518
'we're both in minor roles so we have a lot of time to talk while the others are practicing - hey, we like a lot of the same things' AU
1080
'we're contestants on a reality show and we kind of hate each other so the producers told us to pretend to be warring exes for the ratings so now we keep inventing crazier and crazier things the other did while we were dating' au
517
'we're on a roadtrip with some friends and we have to share a hotel room and there's only one bed and a whole lot of sexual tension' au
516
'we're roommates and we've barely interacted so far but one night there's a thunderstorm and i'm a serious astraphobic and come into your room shaking bc i dont know what else to do and you lull me to sleep by stroking my hair and softly ranting about niccolo machiavelli' au
520
'we're stuck in a log cabin overnight during a snowstorm bc of some stupid school team building exercise and it's freEzing and I can't sleep and you can hear me shivering in the next bed so you pick me up and dump in your bed and good grief you are hot in every sense of the word' au
193
'we're two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we're walking awkwardly out of the last persons's apartment together' au
1311
'you both were planning to separate but i somehow just saved your relationship by sleeping with you at the same time. twice.'
1524
'you caught me doodling on my Very Important Official Document and I thought you were gonna tell on me but instead you complimented my portrayal of Snoopy' AU
191
'you climbed into the taxi next to me and passed out and the taxi driver made me haul you out of his taxi so he can get more customers and now i'm on the side of the road holding you up by your armpits and hoping you don't vomit on me' au
1527
'you have the exact haircut I've been trying to explain to my mom so would it be really weird if I took a picture of you to show her?' AU
1528
'you saw me writing in a foreign language and asked what it was and what it said and you seem so amazed and impressed that I know a different language wow I like you' AU
1516
'you were DJ-ing at a dance I was invited to and you had your friend take over so you could dance with me' AU
184
'you're a vet and i'm pleading with you to save my goldfish and you're the first vet I've visited to not ask me if i'm sure i don't want to go and buy another goldfish for three dollars' au
178
'you're lying on the floor of the movie theater crying and I'm the employee who has to tell you another movie starts in five minutes so you have to leave and I'm really sorry but I'm also confused as to why a documentary on lightning bugs affected you so much' au
1533
'you're my cashier at a fast food restaurant where they ask for your name and you put mine in the computer without asking me for it, do I know you somehow? Oh yeah, that graduation party a month ago...you remembered my name? that's so sweet' AU
518
'you're pretending to be my significant other so my mum gets off my case only she's assuming we're going to be sleeping in the same bed together oh dear' au
1304
'you're seriously hot and i woke up with your phone number on my hand but it's so freakin' illegible but i REALLY need to do something about the gross barf stench on me so i gotta use the public bathroom shower with my arm sticking out of the curtain and that's how you find me'
515
'you're staying with us while your mum's away and every night you sleep walk into my bed and i can't bring myself to kick you out because you're adorable as all hECk and i've never slept so good' au
190
'you're the on-call doctor on saturday nights and i'm purposely injuring myself so i can attempt to chat you up while you give me stitches but i s2g the first four times were accidents i just got too attached' au
1111
(Alternatively) "You're my alien friend and I've decided to run you through all the human things you don't understand, starting with films. I decided to pick Star Trek and honestly I'm about to lose it because all you've been doing throughout the whole film is rant about how it's so inaccurate and how that would never happen and watching you get so (adorably) angry about it is a lot more entertaining that watching the film."
1673
(cont.) "you look so sad and cold that i just tell you to keep my hoodie b/c you obviously need it more than i do. a week later i see you at a coffee shop/book store/etc. and you're wearing my hoodie which you look so ****ing tiny and cute in, and you just saw me and you look super embarrassed; you offer me it back but i tell you it suits you more and we end up talking and i buy you a drink" au
1660
(this can be tweaked in any way to fit your otp :p)
960
(variation of the ending for the AU above) I actually had no idea that all the flowers I gave to you had such meanings, because I just work here and am no expert in language of the flowers, but yes, apparently my intuition gave you all the right flowers to explain my feelings for you
696
*OR* I fell into the orchestra pit and landed on you. Again.
683
*OR* You need an accompanist and I lied and told you I did so now I have to learn those pieces real quick.
412
-'sir/ma'am our doors are closed, Halloween starts in like an hour and we can't sell you any candy right now, we're a small store and I want to go home!'
347
A and B have to explain to C why they never get to drive, optional: C drives wildly, speeding/running lights/etc or drives too slow/cautious
346
A falls instantly for C while B is interested in C but needs to be wooed still
343
A finds a stray animal and brings it home, B is allergic so C helps A hide the animal until B finally catches them after sneezing for a week
348
A has a history of severe nightmares, B knows how to calm A down but is out of town, C has to try for the first time alone
354
A has a secret fear (like of clowns/spiders/heights/etc), B and C don't know and accidentally freak out A with their fear
352
A helped color B's hair but it was a disaster and C has to comfort them both while fixing it
1031
A high school AU, only it's high school in the future featuring space station hijinks and/or alien invasion, mixed in with serious concerns about who's going with who to prom
350
A is always up late with work related things, one night A falls asleep and B and C have to fumble through getting the work done for them
345
A is asexual, B is aromantic, and C is demi, and they have a happy healthy partnership
351
A is babysitting but has to go somewhere unexpectedly, leaving the baby with B and C who have little/no experience with babies
357
A only has money for two tickets to an event all three of them love, so A and B have to sneak C inside
339
A prince with a love of the sea undergoes a terrible shipwreck and wakes, briefly, while being rescued by a mermaid. Obsessed now, he requests the help of a land witch and gives up his "charm" - looks and speech - for a tail. Silent, disfigured, and lost beneath the waves, he discovers that though he can breathe, every breath he takes feels like fire in his chest. Still, he hopes to find the mermaid who saved him and someday earn her heart...
342
A princess is told by her father that she must marry and a ball is planned to find her a husband. Angry and panicking, she flees to the edge of her kingdom where she finds a young man, living with two brothers and an abusive stepfather. These fast friends hatch a scheme: the princess will take one of the man's shoes, claim it belong to her one true love, and send her father on a fool's errand to find the 'prince' to which it belongs. In return she will help the man escape his family, if he wishes, at least for one night - at the ball. But when they dance together, more than friendship might form...
378
A runs a small, locally owned bookstore and somehow gets their hands on this old, cursed book. Interested, A takes it home and begins to read it, unknowing of the book's power. B is a mage in search of the book, and stumbles upon A's bookstore. Though, their first interaction is an odd one, B is trying to pry the book from A's hands if it will kill them. How does B sort this out? How does the curse effect A?
341
A young man is selected to keep a fearful 'beast' company, living in a castle far out in the woods. Yet when he arrives, he finds not a beast, but the most gorgeous woman the land has ever seen... one who claims to be under a spell. She is not human and utterly despises this form, but the spell will not be broken until someone loves her for reasons beyond her appearance. This man, gentle and well-read, may one day look past her beauty and if he does, he may still love the 'beast' that then springs forth...
340
A young, beautiful wolf with a coat as red as blood is off to visit her grandmother - now living in another pack. She's warned by her mother not to approach the path, for humans lurk there. However, the pup ignores her mother's advice, lured away by a girl's tempting treats, and later at dusk, when she finally arrives at grandmother's, a whole group of hunters sets upon the pack...
353
A's glasses broke while they were reading a really good part of their book, B and C offer to read it to them, switching out between characters and making silly voices
355
A's never seen the ocean but wants to, B hates the ocean but agrees to go anyways, A and C swim and make sand castles while B naps on a blanket
1829
Accidentally "parkoured" through your window and I have to pay you back but I'm dead broke au
1328
Accidentally fell asleep on each other on the train au
1599
Adjacent shops Christmas decorations war of escalation AU
1050
After embarrassing themself at school, Character A volunteers to take a dare and steal the phony fortuneteller's ball from the "monster carnival" that is passing through town. While in the middle of the act, Character A is almost caught, and ducks inside of a trailer to hide...only to be caught by the carnies who are strangely still in full monster makeup and costume.
420
Alternate version of above where someone purposely breaks their soulmate clock so they can be with someone they fell in love with that isn't their soulmate/they are strongly opposed to the whole soulmate idea and want to defy the system.
417
Alternate version of above where your clock is a countdown of how long you and your soulmate have left to find each other or else you both will die because the universe is sadistic af—and if you find your soulmate you get to live longer.
457
Alternate version of the above where your soulmate still was an artist of centuries ago but you were there too, and you both were able to meet again in this lifetime. You don't remember anything but you'd be at the museum, looking at the picture that looks like you with curiosity until your soulmate (who remembers everything) comes by and asks you what you think of the painting.
1862
Alternately, you work in the stall next to mine and neither of us can get any work done because of the film crew. And I've been dying to talk to you forever. So...hey.
645
Alternatively, I've always wanted to tell a stranger my life story and I'm choosing you
418
Another alternate version of above where you and your soulmate's clocks have each other's life spans on it but you can give your time to your soulmate if you want to so they can live longer. Again, because the universe is sadistic af.
1326
Another waiter/waitress one: "You always come to this place and never talk much, but now these two ******** are harassing me and you step in and defend me" au
383
Autism Speaks put a vile billboard in our hometown and we both decided to deface it on the same night.
488
BAKING PIES TOGETHER AND THEN WATCHING A SPOOKY MOVIE IN A BLANKET FORT
490
BUILDING SNOWFAMILIES including their pets, house, dog, car,,,,
1175
Both have same obscure taste in music and meet in a dark corner of a music store
954
Changeling couriers who take quicksilver paths to make sure same-day shipping arrives on time.
1048
Character A knows all the tricks to win those "unwinnable" carnival games. Character B is a magic user who has specifically enchanted the games to be unwinnable, and they find Character A's luck to be very unnerving.
1594
Character performers who only see each other at ren faires AU
1591
Cheering for opposing teams at a sports bar AU
1030
Cops AU plus Hogwarts AU equals Wizard Buddy Cops, subtext, and as many wand jokes as you can make
292
Cramming until 3 in the morning and having to sleep over at each others house AU
1173
Crashed the wrong wedding and now the best man/maid of honor is on my ass, but hey they're kinda hot so???
1006
Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we're getting by on skype calls and emails but it's not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)
1728
Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out' AU
1147
DOCTORS AU
632
DRUNKEN CAROLLING ("that's not a thing" "oh yes it is")
945
Degree in Artifice
944
Degrees in applied meta-magics
938
Doctorate of high energy Thaumaturgy
1837
Drunkenly sold my soul to a demon and now I'm their bitch but this might be not so bad
658
Dude check it out this pair of jeans fits us! Shut up, they aren't sweatpants they're jeans
1411
There are loads of empty seats on this train but you chose to sit next to me au
245
Every year we both go all out for holiday decorating and we've developed this rivalry so intense that we're p much famous in our town for it AU
964
Everybody thinks that if I am a florist, I must know the meaning of every single flower I work with. And now even you, the person I wanted to ask on a date, ask me if there's a hidden message behind this bouquet I gave you! There's NOT!!... Apart from that I wanted to ask you on a date. Not the point here.
431
Everyone is born color blind and their sights are fixed once they meet their soulmate, or your soulmate is blind and you have the choice to give them your sight, but it's irreversible and if they die, they take your sight with them.
1170
Everyone thinks they're dating and then they start wondering if they're dating
952
Exchange programs with Arcadia, the Nine Hells, Stygia, the Summerlands and other off-plane locations.
933
Expanding specifically on the role of the fae~
500
GOING SLEDDING @ NIGHT AND THEN GOING STARGAZING AFTERWARDS IN OVERSIZED COATS/SHARING A SCARF BC THE STARS ARE ALWAYS THE NICEST IN THE WINTER AND HOLY SHIT WAS THAT A SHOOTING STAR AND WE TOTALLY WISHED FOR THE SAME THING
1831
Got plastered at a Halloween party but I met you and I'm kinda in love but I don't remember your name so now I have to find you through hazy memories and a kiss au
949
Hermetic universities with emphasis on the "to know" of the motto "to know, to will, to do", and so their students are well overworked but trained to proficiency in many different disciplines. There's a very high dropout rate, but the few who make it through are basically archmagi in their own right.
1497
Hey I just followed my friend to your friend's house but now they're screwing really loudly in the other room, wanna go do something else?
663
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but can you go on the bungee jumping thing with me? Cuz I'm too scared to go by myself
1833
Hey you! yes you! Pretend to be my S.O. to piss off my dad au
238
I always see you doing weird shit at ridiculous hours of the night and it makes me feel better because I do weird shit in the middle of the night too AU
622
I KNITTED YOU A JUMPER
552
I SWEAR I HAVEN'T WORN A PAIR OF MY OWN UNDERWEAR IN OVER A YEAR THERE IS JUST SO MUCH ****ING UNDERWEAR IN THIS HOUSEHOLD *******
1504
I SWEAR to GOD if I hear you showering at THREE IN THE MORNING again, I will seriously fight you, the pipes in this building are RIGHT above my bedroom, WHY are you taking showers at THREE AM
1604
I accidentally caught the neighbors' yard(s) on fire while burning leaves and I didn't think it could get worse but the volunteer fireman reprimanding me is gorgeous and clearly thinks I'm an idiot AU
409
I accidentally egged the wrong house and I'm trying to apologize but it's one in the morning and you're pissed off and I'm so sorry
976
I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something
269
I accidentally spilled hydrochloric acid on you so you really need to use the emergency shower and omg, if i knew you looked that good shirtless and wet i would have spilled it on you much earlier in the semester
639
I adopted a kid and you help me take care of them all the time since we're neighbors, but you came over and got so involved in the kid's life so much they think that we're both their parents instead of just me
424
I already wrote something similar to this but a countdown au where your soulmate has died and you two still happen to meet each other (one is a ghost, one is alive) and the other finds peace after the meeting.
965
I am a secret agent/thief/[insert anything applicable here] that needs to get into this one place which is heavily-guarded. The only way to seek its faults in defenses without attracting unneeded attention is to apply for work in a flower shop near it. And so I work here for almost a month, and my plan is coming smoothly... except for you, who works here too, and who confronted me right now, telling me what my actual profession is and what I want to do. Who are you to deduce it so well?! This was supposed to be a secret, dammit!
375
I am the worst at parallel parking I mean I am so sorry about your fender I really hope one of us has insurance I'm so sorry
1605
I bought this talisman from your occult shop and I know you warned me but I didn't think this stuff was real but it IS and now I need you to make it go away AU
1505
I can literally hear you sneezing through the walls and I brought some chicken noodle soup over for you because I have exams to study for and your sneezing is seriously distracting me
1842
I caught a home-run ball can you sign it for me please au
1848
I decided to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happen to past by and after poking fun at me for a million years you finally decide to try and help me.
1565
I desperately need you to fix my laptop but please don't judge me for my browser history
1839
I did not know I had a piercing fetish before you au
1607
I didn't mean to get you arrested, I thought I was helping AU
526
I didn't think chicken pox was still a thing but apparently it is because you're sitting here miserable and i'm trying to comfort you with my rlly dumb jokes and i dont know how to fix this"
363
I didn't think my parents could accept me dating somebody of your gender/race/religion/species, so we've been keeping it quiet, but now my mom can't stop talking about her friend's next-door neighbor and how perfect they'd be for me and you've got some nosy neighbor trying to set you up with their coworker's kid and how do we tell them we're engaged without making them think it's because of their completely uninvited meddling?
1845
I died and now i'm a mother****ing ghost but instead of being depressed I decide to start haunting people for the hell of it by doing stupid shit like drawing penises on peoples faces while their asleep and replacing their Oreo cream with toothpaste and you end being the only one that can see me.
691
I do ballet and you do modern, the studio's been double-booked so we have to share it.
226
I don't know how to tell you this but the reason you didn't see me in our last reincarnation cycle is because for some ****ed up reason I was reincarnated as your dog
160
I don't want to go to this party/dance alone so please be my date AU
221
I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I've been looking for you ever since but I've been starting to give up and my friends's new crush has your eyes and oh god I'm not going to steal someone's date just because I'm hoping you're the person I met in a past life (jk yes I am)
695
I fell into the orchestra pit and landed on you.
394
I forgot to renew my prescription several days in a row and got to the pharmacy minutes before closing time and you rang me up but it turns out I forgot my wallet at home and now I'm crying hysterically did I mention I've been off my meds for a few days.
1421
I found a USB and it's full of your holiday photographs au
1581
I found a bunch of your stuff when I moved into this apartment and I have no idea who you are but I think we might be soulmates AU
640
I got caught in the rain without an umbrella and an attractive stranger is sharing theirs with me
1499
I happened to glance into your window just in time to see you do a slammin' air guitar solo but then you caught me looking
1572
I hate flying but your snarky announcements are a good distraction and you have a nice voice and I might be calling you Captain Cutie in my head AU
387
I have Crohn's Disease and some ******* wouldn't let me cut them in line to the bathroom but then u burst out of your stall with ur pants down and ushered me in. Also ur underwear is really cute.
642
I have a crush on my younger sibling's tutor, but I don't know how to work myself into the scene without making everything incredibly awkward for me
694
I have a key to the theatre, and sometimes I go there when I need to think. Apparently so do you.
686
I have to learn to dance for this play, and you have three weeks to teach me.
1203
I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops' AU
1722
I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops' AU'
1740
I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding' AU
1553
I injured myself doing something stupid at a holiday party and you're the doctor at the emergency clinic AU
413
I invited a bunch of people over to watch a horror movie and you're the only one that showed up and it's kind of cute that you hide behind my back every time you hear creepy music
657
I just crashed this wedding and one of the guests just asked me to dance and I'm pretty sure that they know I'm not a guest from either the bride or groom(brides, grooms) fml
236
I just found out that you're the ******* who has been stealing my coupons from the Sunday newspaper every week and I am going to make. you. PAY!! AU
399
I just got my diagnosis and I'm really scared but I went into the tag and found ur selfies and posts and u are so funny and gorgeous and insightful can we skype some time.
244
I just moved in next door and I'm like 99% sure you're insane AU
1860
I just moved into a new apartment and went to buy groceries, but I bought more than I could carry back. I've stopped to catch my breath when I hear someone asking if I need help and I look up and the sun is literally making you glow like a damn angel.
1614
I just quit my job and put all my belongings in a U-Haul and started driving, you're the hitchhiker I picked up on a whim who I'm starting to think is a dangerous fugitive AU
656
I just showed you all the Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life videos and I think I just scarred you for life
1218
I know nothing about camping will you help me i think i heard a bear' au
1737
I know nothing about camping will you help me i think i heard a bear' au
684
I know we're both acting but wow, this on-stage chemistry is really convincing.
158
I know you don't like me but I really need help passing this class AU
1726
I know you steal my wifi to watch porn but it's kinda hot idk' AU
1502
I live a block away from this pizza place that stays open until 2 am and you're, like, always working which is nice because I get to look at you but, um, are you sleeping here or something because you're literally ALWAYS here
368
I love hockey, I am Ruler of the Rink and apparently I don't know my own strength because I just crushed you into the boards I'm so sorry
1573
I made a dumb science joke in class and you're the only one who laughed AU
681
I make the costumes and you keep bringing yours back for adjustments- how many times can someone 'accidentally' rip a seam?
223
I meet and fall in love with you in every lifetime at the same age but your age is always different so it never works out and for the first time I'm meeting you when we're the same age and I'm horrified that I might **** this up
652
I met you at a convention and you're cosplaying Person B to my OTP and I'm cosplaying Person A
637
I need new glasses and you're the optometrist running my vision tests, but your good looks are really freaking distracting
1570
I planned a program at the library where I work and you're the only person who showed up AU
1590
I spent a whole subway ride checking you out but didn't have the nerve to talk to you and thought I'd never see you again but you just showed up on Humans of New York AU
157
If you aren't serious about this play then leave AU
432
If you dye your hair, your soulmate's hair color changes as well and you swear the moment you see your soulmate you will choke them because you just woke up with your hair colored like a rainbow and it's your first job interview at a prestigious company what the ****. Oh, and your best friend just took a picture to post online and wait—what, how many likes is that?
464
If you're on separate time zones, when you sleep, you see the world in the eyes of your soulmate at present time. You see the world through your soulmate's eyes, what they're eating, who they're talking to, the contents of the essay paper they're trying to finish, but if they look into a mirror/reflective surface/picture, the image is blurred so you don't really have a clue what they look like.
435
If your soulmate dyes their hair your fingernails turn into that color (like nail polish?) and you're hoping your soulmate isn't bald by the time you meet because it's the fifth time the past two months that your nails have changed colors.
436
If your soulmate dyes their hair, your eyes turn into that color and you wish your soulmate wouldn't change it again because you really like this shade in your eyes.
466
Imagine that soulmates just have this ability to dream together/meet each other in your dreams regardless of whether or not you two meet in real life. Your dreams could then be like a real-life video game, for example, you two could be in a zombie-apocalypse type of dream and you both would try your best to help each other out. If one gets bitten/dies you wake up and your soulmate is there to tell you everything is alright or tease you how you couldn't shoot fast enough and then you'd both go back to sleep and maybe start round two.
448
Imagine the above point but like, your soulmate maybe falls off a bike and you write on your arm what happened, and your soulmate replies to reassure you everything's okay. Yes, you always carry a non-permanent marker to write on your skin at all times.
923
Immigrant magic users struggling to adapt to the way magic behaves in their new country.
247
In which we live in a relatively rich neighborhood and during summers we obnoxiously sit in loungers, drinking lemonade, and ogle the cute pool boy together AU
1167
Inappropriately timed confessions
1178
Inappropriately timed confessions
1004
It started to snow and I'm the only one of our friends who would go outside with you - I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they're new friends who don't know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war
349
It's A's birthday but B and C both forgot until the last second, B distracts A while C sneaks out to get a gift
646
It's Spirit Week at school and I'm determined to out spirit you for once
1832
It's a rainy day and I see you get get side-splashed by a car and I'm laughing so hard until I get hit too au
990
It's my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me
1005
It's nowhere near Christmas it's literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other's excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)
1410
It's pouring with rain and there's space under your umbrella au
693
It's the day before opening night and I've lost my voice, you have to nurse this melodramatic ailing actor back to health.
161
Just got caught under the mistletoe with my arch-nemesis and now everything is slow changing between us AU
467
Just like the above point, imagine how you and your soulmate could pretty much be with each other even after you'd both gone to your separate homes/shared bed.
939
Laws against scrying
931
Lawyers who specialize in magical contract law.
433
Like the above AU but you only get highlights for the dyed color of your soulmate's hair. If your hair color returns to normal, it means your soulmate has returned to their natural hair color too.
438
Like the countdown AU, an alternate version where it's your soulmate's date of death that's tattooed on your skin.
1340
Met on the fireescape outside the appartment for smokes au
360
My parents thought I was working for an insurance company in New York when really I was joining the CIA so I just sort of never mentioned when I met you on an assassination-gone-wrong and now we've been married for five years and they still don't know you exist, this has gotten wildly out of hand and you won't stop laughing about it
644
My pet ran away, I got fired from my job, it started raining out of nowhere and I fell in the mud, and you're just a random stranger at my bus stop but I really need someone to talk to
1208
My pet really hates your pet' AU
1727
My pet really hates your pet' AU'
649
My rival and I are determined for us and our respective partners to be the ultimate power couple, but you and the other person in our rival couple really don't care
1062
My sibling locked me in a closet with my best friend because said friend has a crush on me and I might be sort of thankful that they did that except that they lost the key so we're trapped until the locksmith arrives' AU
1057
My well-meaning friend read the love note I wrote to you with a megaphone in the middle of a park and I think I'm going to die of embarrassment' AU
941
Necromancers using dead bodies as labor for sewage cleaning, farming, and other physically demanding jobs.
1176
Neighbors in a shitty apartment building that share a sense of solidarity for each other (also a mutual attraction because hotawhat)
1332
Neighbour who's way too enthuisiastic about LOTR soundtracks au
271
No one should look as good as you do in safety goggles
1033
Noir detective pirate AU, and the difficulties of solving gritty crime on the high seas
978
Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it's ****ing awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real ****ing fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)
1171
Oops friend looks like the only place to sleep in this house is this small, twin-sized bed, guess we'll have to share
953
Ophanim-driven ambulances-in that the front of the ambulance is an Ophanim. None of their patients have ever been DOA.
1003
Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I'd hate it but you're actually... kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you're gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this
393
Our physical therapy sessions overlap and I know it's rude to stare but ur butt in those yoga pants damn.
635
PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF
1000
Pacific rim au (either they're drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn't come up with this one but it's ****ing good) (also if you haven't seen that film go watch it now)
661
Pack up man; we're going on a road trip
1099
Person A is the kindest, sweetest person Person B has ever met. Unbeknown to Person B, Person A is completely different when it comes to their job; they're ruthless, cold-blooded and cunning. B would never suspect a thing, until A gets caught that is...
1417
Please stop picking flowers from my garden au
692
Please stop practicing your solo song when I'm trying to sleep.
924
Practitioners of certain types of magic being profiled as more likely to commit crime, and all the bitter in-jokes that result.
930
Public service announcements about what to do if you're approached by the fae.
434
Related to the first two AUs—you decide to get revenge on your soulmate by dying your hair the most absurd color combination you can think of and the exchange goes back and forth until you meet each other. It can be that if you meet, you two can dye your hair without affecting the other anymore.
102
Related to the last one - "practicing" their casual touching so that it's easier when they're in public. Feeling SWOOPS OF ARDOR AND AGONY when they feel the brush of a hand on their neck, or an arm loop around their waist. Don't you love how fake marrieds/dates are always method actors who must FULLY INHABIT their roles. i love it. i live for it.
426
Reverse colors AU where you can see in color but once you meet/marry your soulmate your world turns black and white, this is how people can tell that married couples really love each other because they're willing to give up a world of colors for their soulmate. If your soulmate dies you get to see color again.
415
Reverse one where the clock starts at 00:00:00:00 from the moment you're born and stops counting the moment you meet your soulmate, so it's like a reminder that "It took me 19 years, 11 months, 20 hours, and 13 seconds to meet you, you ****, and you do it by spilling coffee on me, thanks, now my laptop's broken—what, you're buying me a new one? Okay."
1587
Rival street performers AU
929
Rivalry between special effects technicians who primarily use magic and those that primarily use technology.
1174
Run into each other in a hospital while there for really stupid reasons
1169
Seeing love interest in formal wear for the first time whaaat
957
Selkie/Faerie/Nymph/etc. environmental activists.
998
Siren and asexual pirate who doesn't understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the **** is happening
156
So I have to spend the night at my longtime rival's house, everything will totally be fine because their parents are there (or not) AU
959
So I work as a florist for some time, and one day you walked into the shop and I just fell in love with you at almost first sight?? And in the end when you wanted to walk away with a bouquet you bought for someone, I gave you lavender rose on the house, just because I thought it'd be a nice gesture. But because you liked the flower shop so much, or for some other reason, you started buying flowers at us all the time and consulting with me, and almost every time I gave you a flower, making up excuses for it. But today you walked in, red in face, and told me that your friend saw all the flowers from me that you collected in herbarium and told you all the meanings, and now you ask me if I did meant all of that, and I'm trying to collect all the thoughts in my head, like - what do you think of me now? and did you actually make a herbarium??
1420
Someone in this building is listening to my favorite song au
391
Someone tried to push my chair and then got mad at me when I told them to leave me alone so you picked them up to give them a taste of their own medicine. It turns out you also have mobility problems and this was a good symptom day for you but then you lifted a grown adult and now everything hurts. I am oddly endeared by ur terrible impulse control can u maybe hitch a ride with me?
988
Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I've fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING
956
Specific laws regarding the theft of a Selkie's sealskin.
633
TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you're just so ****ing cute)
628
TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you)
934
Tabloids that talk about how the latest celebrity's dreams are filled with his mother and what that might mean, 'Shocking tapes of their dreams exposing their darkest secrets!'
920
Tax credits for switching to mage-friendly energy sources.
106
Telling each other "i love you" in public and meaning it, heart aching over it, but believing THE OTHER 2 BE ACTING. My soul is still 15, this garbage still gets me. u don't get pining better than this.
1333
That one ******* costumer that always comes in 5 minutes before the store is about to close au
940
The NSA using scrying
1613
The PTA bake sale is coming up and you've outsold me two years in a row so I'm pulling out all the stops AU
472
The Red String of Fate exists, and only some people have the ability to see the strings, and these people can actually cut strings and knot other people's strings in to alter the soulmate laws. Your best friend's wedding is tomorrow and they know you can see the string. They ask you to help them defy the laws of the universe and help them be with the person they love even though they know that's not their soulmate. You know they love each other so much so you help them, even though the person your best friend's marrying/your best friend is your soulmate.
105
The character who wasn't aware they were in love (maybe always had been) until the fake relationship is in full swing, realizing they have to sort their feelings out before their time together is up. Sometimes they succeed and angst is minimal. most of the time they don't, really.
1032
The coffee shop AU, liberally spiced up with interactions with a mirror world where the heroes become the villains and vice versa-and can the adorably dorky new barista figure out how to make the perfect latte art and keep her girlfriend from falling in love with her eviler, sexier doppelganger?
994
The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the **** are their first words something really ridiculous like 'I'll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face' or 'quick what's your favourite animal' or '****ing shit hell holy **** wow oh my god jesus h Christ **** me' etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me *******?
386
The most frustrating thing about having my AAC machine broken right now is it's so much harder to flirt with the cute technician who came over to fix it.
446
The only way for your scars to disappear is when your soulmate kisses them goodbye.
1501
The postal worker delivered your package to my place accidentally and I was expecting something so I totally didn't look before I opened it and... wow that is um... quite an interesting thing you bought and I'm here to return it
419
The soulmate clock is actually something breakable and you accidentally break yours or vice versa.
1838
The train is always crowded and I don't mind if you sit on my lap even if we sit like this for a month au
248
The walls in this apartment building are really thin and I can hear you having mental breakdowns all the time are you okay? AU
950
The witch-psychologist who never, ever uses magical mental influences on her patients without notarized consent.
250
This is the first time I'm living on my own and my parents decided to spontaneously drop by in a few hours to see how I'm doing pls let me borrow some cleaning supplies and food so that my parents will believe I'm a functioning, responsible adult who totally cleans and doesn't just have condiments and eggs in my fridge AU
384
This library only has one audiobook copy of the obscure textbook our professor is making us use so I guess we're sharing it.
1172
Thunderstorm cuddles
1034
Vampire Western AU, and the challenges of cattle rustling on the sunny plains of the wild west, and making sure that none of those damned suckers take out any of pa's herd again!
1036
Vampire coffee shop AU (BARTENDING IN THE DARK)
1219
WINDOW WASHER AU
1738
WINDOW WASHER AU
450
Wait, imagine the above point but way into the future and you're about to give birth and your soulmate must be cursing you and rolling on the floor by the operating table or the waiting area screaming murder and punching walls while crying. Also periods, yes periods. Okay, I'll shut up now.
479
We Were Going To Go On A Picnic But It Rained So We're Picknicking Inside Anyway
551
We all tried to spit our toothpaste in the sink at the same time and ended up banging our heads together and communicating in unintelligible noises due to having too much ****ing toothpaste in our mouths oh my god will one you just spit first I'm so tired I want to go to bed
699
We both dream of performing on the stage but we're selling ice-creams in the interval instead.
1407
We both really want that parking space au
1850
We both work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I found out that your were the thieving ******* that kept stealing my lunch from the office refrigerator.
395
We get chemo on the same schedule and we've never talked but I see you all the time and ur really cute.
1844
We got knocked down a hill by a car accident and we're not in too good shape but rescue's coming in a day...or 3 au
647
We got put in the same group for the senior trip
150
We hate each other but we both have a mutual friend so we have to put up with each other AU
251
We have weekly get-togethers where we gossip about our other neighbors AU
982
We keep accidentally running into each other I'm not a stalker I swear
227
We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it's kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it's you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime
1413
We live across the street from each other and you really need to get some curtains au
999
We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a ****ing quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?
979
We live in the same block of flats but haven't ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together
1498
We live in the same building and you're locked out of your place in your underwear because you were doing laundry and forgot your key
225
We only remember each other in alternating lifetimes so every lifetime we have to find one another and convince each other that we're soul mates but half the time I won't believe you and half the time you're already dating someone else
549
We specifically bought this mini-van instead of a car because it has three seats in the font but now all we do is argue about who gets to sit in the middle
1419
We turned up to this party wearing the same outfit and you look better in it au
701
We went to drama school together, four years later only one of us is famous.
1704
We work across from each other and make stupid faces/blatantly check each other out.
1600
We work at competing gossip magazines and keep trying to outdo each other's ridiculous stories AU
1002
We work in the same office and you have a ******* squeaky chair and you wONT ****ING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME
234
We're at a concert and I can't see a thing let me sit on your shoulders, maybe?"
1415
We're both actually con-artists trying to scam each other au
679
We're both auditioning for the same part and I kinda hope you get it.
396
We're both little people trying to find formalwear in the children's aisle and exchanging shopping and tailoring tips has quickly turned into flirting.
359
We're both professors in the same department and it enhances your reputation with the students as a mysterious enigma and my reputation as a stone-cold terror if we pretend to hate each other, plus when we back each other up in departmental meetings everybody's so surprised they give in right away
246
We're both single parents and our kids are best friends with each other AU
385
We're both skipping social skills class I won't tell if you don't.
1598
We're both trying to get an apartment in this city at the same time as a million other people and I'm tired of competing for the same ones as you so I think it's time we joined forces AU
700
We're broke aspiring actors sharing a tiny apartment in the city.
447
Whatever mark you get on your skin your soulmate gets it too so one day, you just kind of just get a sharpie and start writing on your skin. You definitely didn't expect to get a reply, but you did. Now it's five in the morning and you're just about covered in ink and this will be a pain to wash off later.
439
Where a tattoo isn't set from the moment you're born and whatever tattoos your soulmate gets, you get it too and it's all cool because you kind of like the designs, except you also feel the pain of getting a tattoo and that sucks because you're kind of in the middle of an exam right now and it's getting harder to concentrate on your work.
414
Where for whatever reason, your clock is stuck/frozen/it's not counting down anymore but it hasn't reached 00:00:00:00 yet and you're freaking out because this hasn't happened to anyone before.
425
Where you actually have a compass instead of a clock, and it leads you to where your soulmate should be.
454
Where you're reborn with the memories of your soulmate and you can only get your past memories if you meet each other again in this lifetime.
1052
While at the carnival, Character A and B find themselves in a part of the camp where everything is a lot more sinister looking, and a lot more real. When Character B gets roped into playing a riddle game, they don't take it seriously when the price of loosing is advertised as being "their life".
491
Who builds the snowman, who eats the carrot nose bc they weren't paying attention ("OH THATS what the carrot was for, my bad")
498
Who dumps snow down their partner's neck and runs away laughing
1593
Why didn't you tell me this cabin was haunted before I rented it from you AU
451
You can choose to take the pain of your soulmate away. Like if they're sick or even if they just have a paper cut, you can choose to transfer the pain/sickness to yourself instead and they'll heal. You can only do it once you meet them though, since what happens to them doesn't happen to you, unless you transfer it to yourself.
429
You can see colors and your world turns black and white but it doesn't necessarily have to mean your soulmate is dead. There can be other factors that will result in a black and white world like losing eyesight, but you don't know that.
428
You can see colors but realize that recently, with each passing day, your world of colors is becoming a little duller and you're panicking because you don't know what's going on, or what it means, or if your soulmate is okay.
643
You caught me having a Barbie movie marathon and now I'm trying to keep you from telling anyone about this!
162
You come to the restaurant I work at and choose me as your waiter(ess) every time just to annoy me and I can't do anything in retribution or I'll get fired AU
1708
You come up to me while I'm closing up shop, ask where the nearest bar is, and then ask me when I'm available to go there with you.
1416
You dined and dashed in my restaurant but you left your coat behind au
443
You don't have a name tattoo on your wrist, meaning you probably don't have a soulmate but you didn't want your friends to tease you about it so you had a tattoo made on your wrist about some name you picked at random because your friend said she wanted to see it soon. And then somehow there's a person claiming to be your soulmate and they're kind of cute and sweet so you don't know what to do.
461
You don't remember anything from your previous life but your soulmate does—your first meeting under the tree with the broken swing in summer, the way you smiled when you met each other again at the start of the school year, your eyes that were filled with such mirth and depth and beauty, even the way your hands fit together like missing piece of a puzzle—everything, even the gasps for air, the coarse little pleas, the way you stared with a look of betrayal until your bright eyes became nothing but a dull sheet of color at the hands encasing your neck in a vice grip.
995
You get an 'impression' of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a ****ing unicorn
471
You get to share the same talents as your soulmate and you probably hit the jackpot because it's the first time you've ever touched this instrument but you're quite the professional at it, what? Shredding? I don't know what that is but—oh... hey okay, I just did it I think.
654
You got me addicted to playing Love Live and I'm ruining my life
239
You greeted me in the strangest way this morning when I was getting my mail and we've been neighbors for like 3 years and this is the first time you've ever spoken to me I have no idea what is going on AU
527
You just got your tonsils removed so I showed up with ten pints of ice cream and this might be bad timing but you should know ive had a crush on you for years sHHH DON'T SAY ANYTHING YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK."
253
You just moved in next door and you're convinced your house is haunted so you seek refuge at my house when you get freaked out and eventually rope me into investigating for paranormal activity and the only reason I'm doing any of this is because you're really freaking cute AU
1606
You just sold a bunch of old books to my secondhand store for cheap and one of them's worth a fortune and my partner will kill me if he finds out but I think you should have the money AU
243
You keep borrowing shit from my tool shed without even asking AU
1588
You keep bringing your car into my shop with a series of increasingly unlikely problems and my professional opinion is it'd be cheaper for you to just ask me to dinner already AU
650
You keep coming in to get your laptop fixed but I'm pretty sure your breaking it on purpose but you're cute so I'll let it slide
462
You keep going to this place, and you always notice another person here too. Neither of you know that this is the place where the both of you had died/first met in the past life.
1418
You left your phone number in the library book I just borrowed au
983
You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don't really know each other and oh you're the stripper at my friend's stag do/hen night **** this is really uncomfortable
242
You live in the apartment above me and your water pipe burst and is flooding into my apartment and you can hear me yelling so you come down to my apartment to see what's going on and witness me standing in my kitchen/bathroom/whatever, holding an umbrella, screaming at the water pouring out of my ceiling and crying because I have no idea what to do and we both just kinda stand there in shock as my stuff gets ruined and you let me crash in your apartment until my apartment gets fixed because you feel bad
440
You remove your tattoo because you hate the idea of someone dictating who you can be with for the rest of your life and the person who's removing it happens to be your soulmate and they're torn between letting you know and just not bringing it up because you kind of went there because you didn't want a soulmate and vice versa.
465
You see your soulmate in the eyes of their friend instead.
1056
You showed up at my house with my friend and suddenly they handcuffed me to you and I'm so sorry this happens like every week, hang on I have a spare key but after you're free wanna watch a movie?' AU
455
You somehow find a diary/journal of your old self and read through the contents of how you met your soulmate centuries ago.
155
You spoil all the things I'm into and it's really pissing me off AU
1059
You think I have a crush on this one person and I don't know whether to go with it or explain that I like you, either way I'm going to wear this outfit more often cause you think it looks sexy' AU
153
You used to bully/mess with me in elementary school and it turned out it was because you had a major crush on me AU
1007
You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses
1010
You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I'm dying of embarrassment but you think it's cute
430
You will be able to see the world in full color once you meet your soulmate but until then, you can only see the world in the eye color of your soulmate. However, you can alter the color your soulmate can see, for example, by wearing contact lenses. Like if you wear blue contact lenses, your soulmate sees the world in blue, purple makes them see the world in purple and etc. And you realize each day/week you get to see the world in a different color because your soulmate is being all cute and would want you to see every color there is and they probably have a huge collection of contact lenses by the time you both meet.
241
You're a famous viner and I constantly witness you doing the weirdest things AU
1703
You're a regular customer for weeks until you muster up the courage to write your phone number on the receipt.
638
You're allergic to cats but my cat really likes you my bad
1843
You're an Angel and I'm a Demon and we met while hiding in human form and I love you au
1009
You're an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??
237
You're mowing your lawn at 5AM and that is completely unacceptable and I'm going over to your house to yell at you about how unacceptable this is AU
651
You're my apathetic (onesided) rival at work and this month I'm determined to get Employee of the Month, which you always get without even trying
390
You're my favorite paralympian can you autograph my prosthesis?
442
You're not sure if the other half of your tattoo should end with this person's words, or that one's—wait, I think it might end with the phrase of that other person too. It's just a very open-ended sentence...
249
You're one of those annoying people who tries to make casual conversation all the time and brings people baked goods and stuff and I just want to mind my own business but somehow we end up being friends or something?? AU
458
You're sent to an insane asylum because everyone is convinced you've lost your hold on reality since you're the only one that remembers everything from your past life. Also, that new doctor is your soulmate.
524
You're sick with a cold at my cabin that has no wifi and no cell service and we both can't remember if you starve a cold or feed it???? So im panicking and you're panicking and evERYONE'S PANICKING."
381
You're the ASL interpreter working my favorite artist's concert and you've done the most masterful interpretation of my favorite song can we go out for coffee?
698
You're the demanding star and I'm your personal assistant.
1616
You're the only major film critic who hated my movie and I need to talk to you about it because I agree with you AU
1585
You're the prosecutor and I'm the defense attorney on the most ridiculous case either of us have ever heard of and I don't know about you but I'm not sure how much longer I can be serious about this thing AU
963
You're this person I meet a lot throughout the last year, and you're that grumpy, not very social person with whom I have nothing in common with, and we merely had two? three decent conversations? Apart from a few snarks we shot at each other. And one day, [for some reason] I walk into this little flower shop not too far away from my place of work, and see you. As a florist. Humming something very pretty while you tend to flowers, and you're such a different person than one I met before, even your face is different, like it's lit up with some beautiful emotion I can't describe. And now I can't help but stare at you with awe.
962
You're this person we had to hire because not everyone wants to have a job as a florist, so we're short on employees, and on your first day you make so many mistakes it's embarrassing and I have to help you a lot. A LOT. But I've found that you're struggling with money (not that I'll tell you that I've found out), and you really want to stay on this job, and even found this book no one else in our shop read in forever and tried to make something by it. So I decide to help you. And yes, we're that short-handed on personnel.
1705
You've decided that throwing stuff at me is the best way to attract my attention.
364
You've got to pretend-date your best friend for a couple of weeks because reasons, and somehow that means we're passing ourselves off as siblings to explain why we live together but we've started giving each other really filthy pre-sex looks behind everyone's back like a game of chicken and pretty soon somebody is going to start to have serious concerns about our siblinghood.
987
You've liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn't like all the attention but now you're over me I really miss it and **** I think I like you too?
392
You've never fronted around me and I've never fronted around you but our system members think we should date.
421
Your clock is counting down too fast (as opposed to everyone else's) and you have no idea what's going on anymore.
252
Your dog keeps pooping on my lawn AU
1060
Your friend is very intent on hooking me up with you and neither of us even likes each other but let's just go on a date to shut them up, hey they're paying so it's free dinner for both of us right?' AU
1609
Your pizza keeps getting delivered to my house by mistake and I need to talk to you about your choice of toppings AU
416
Your soulmate clock is actually a countdown of how long your soulmate has left to live and holy shit you have to find your soulmate soon because your clock says you have three months left (for angst maybe).
423
Your soulmate clock is actually telling you what time it is where your soulmate is currently at (could include AM/PM/time zones or not, for example 3:46:31 MDT).
459
Your soulmate from the past life is not your soulmate in this life.
468
Your soulmate is dead and the only way you two can see each other again is in your dreams and everyday your soulmate tries to make sure you know they love you and will always be there for you the moment you close your eyes and retire for the night.
456
Your soulmate was an artist of centuries ago, and currently, you're an art student at university (or not but you're taking an arts class). Then one day for a field trip, you go to a far-away museum and you just find yourself staring at what was your reflection, wearing different clothes to fit the timeline but it was definitely a split-image of you, on one of the framed displays.
445
Your tattoo is like a mood ring, it changes its color depending on what your soulmate is feeling at the moment and you're not sure exactly what rainbow means.
441
Your tattoo is only half complete and it completes itself the moment you find your soulmate, like if you had half a heart, you'd get a full heart on your skin.
917
[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.
915
[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
919
[text] I know what you did last summer...
916
[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
918
[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!
911
[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.
910
[text]: Come on, come to the party!
906
[text]: Do you want to bet on that?
907
[text]: Guess who just got back in town.
913
[text]: I call bullshit.
908
[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now...
909
[text]: We can't keep doing this anymore!
905
[text]: What do you want now?
912
[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.
914
[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn't you?
529
^ You passed out in my car because of strong medication and now I have to figure out how to get you home and avoid taking a picture of your cute sleeping face."
138
a morning person and a night person are assigned as roommates au
167
a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we're the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I'm going down you're going down with me
142
a pro swimmer/part time lifeguard and a sunbather who hates water, can't swim, and only goes to the beach to tan au
141
a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park au
133
a violinist who only plays classical music and a metal guitarist dislike each other's preferred genre but have to perform a duet au
1278
accidentally 'borrowed' their towel at their gym au
1745
accidentally broke into your apartment because i was drunk AU
1752
accidentally found and read your diary AU
1575
accidentally got drunk at a wine tasting AU
1184
accidentally taking each other's bags au
97
actually, any mistaken for a couple au
1556
adjacent stands at the farmer's market AU
1119
competitive buskers who eventually form a band au
1787
alice in wonderland AUdetention on a saturday afternoon AU
1790
all boys boarding school AU
114
alternately, "i grew up not knowing i was royal and now i guess i'm heir to a throne and you're the guy who's supposed to be teaching me how to be royal bc i suck at it and oops we made out" au
505
alternately: "hell no you cannot survive off of gas station candy I'm taking us to a real restaurant"
511
alternately: you literally get the chance to write the scenario where the characters trade off seats during the night and the driver keeps looking at their sleeping companion and getting distracted because of the way the moonlight bounces off of their face and ugh
1186
antiques shop au
1753
i didn't know you were my teacher AU
1820
are they staring at me or staring into the space around me i can't tell and it's intimidating
1551
arrested at the same protest AU
1574
auditioning for the same part AU
1548
battle of the bands AU
1286
beat the crap out of each other in online multiplayer au
371
being a bike courier is great for my legs and it makes me good money and I meet hot people by running them over I'm so sorry
1791
best friends when we were young and then you moved and now we meet again at college
1133
bookstore AU
536
border police deemed us suspicious and we've been stuck in this detainee cell for the past four hours just because you had to buy those supposedly cocaine-laced oranges off that guy on the side of the road au
1226
both stuck in the dorm common room because their respective roommates needed "alone time"
312
bumped into each other while watching a street magic performance au
1827
called the wrong number and confessed my love to you in a sappy way before you could get a word in au
1187
called the wrong number while drunk au
1185
camp councelors au
513
car karaoke. someone probably owns the complete collection of disney cds. they probably take it very seriously.
132
cat person and dog person meet at petco and their pets won't stop hissing and growling at each other au
100
character a asks "hey, will you pretend to be my date for a week for [convoluted excuse that could easily be solved without a fake relationship]?" character b, fully convinced of the futility of their DEEP AND UNREQUITED LOVE, figures this'll be a chance to spend time with them and possibly put their feelings to rest. Character b is always wrong & it is always amazing.
514
characters who keep making more and more detours because they want it to last forever even though it can't.
1566
chef/ restaurant critic AU
1749
co-stars whose characters date each other on the show AU
1152
college professors AU
1125
commiserating on a night shift at mcdonalds au
1228
constantly fighting for the best seat in the library/coffee shop/whatever
272
could you please stop saying "the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell"???? it's ****ing physics
1190
crashed the their car au
1764
cross-country road trip gone wrong AU
1887
cutie working the drive-thru AU
1877
cyclist saves pedestrian who wandered onto the bike path AU
1233
date auction for charity
170
did you actually just blue shell me on our date you ****er
1183
disneyworld cosplayers au
1559
don't really care if I win that giant stuffed animal but keep playing the carnival game you're running just to see you AU
504
driving shitty rental cars and living off of gas station food and going way too fast down highways with the radio up
1211
dude i know we don't know each other but my swim trunks came off when i jumped in the water can you grab them for me' AU
1730
dude i know we don't know each other but my swim trunks came off when i jumped in the water can you grab them for me' AU
1775
end up getting married in vegas although we're total strangers AU
1763
ended up meeting in prison and now we're in love AU
1454
esteemed rival chefs find each other shamefully buying ramen at 3 in the morning AU
1577
everyone else in our dorm has gone out but I have the flu, and I just heard you coughing pathetically from the next room, wanna share my stash of cough drops and marathon Netflix with me? AU
569
everyone thinks we hate each other and we keep that front up in public, so we have hilarious pretend fights and squabbles and pranks
1758
fame has gotten to your head so you were sent off to live with country relatives AU
1798
finds a death note and uses it to their advantage AU (based off of the anime)
323
first pet dragon au
1896
for some reason our teacher thought it'd be amazing to go on a field trip and after she went to sleep some jock thought it'd be even more amazing to play truth or dare and now my best friend betrayed me and dared me to make out with you, the person i've been lowkey in love with for a year' au
1146
forced to share a table at the coffee shop a couple days in a row because crowded coffee shop and no room AU
1142
forget high school students AU i want a high school teachers AU
376
formal events are not my thing these shoes are new and this is a very long staircase at least you were at the bottom to break my fall I'm so sorry
1888
foster parent and social worker AU
1180
found their phone number in a library book au
1189
found your their dog au
481
gOING SWIMMING IN THE RAIN and making out maybe
1772
gang member AU
1823
gave a running hug to the wrong person at the airport and knocked you to the ground au
1770
get's lost on an island together AU
506
getting lost on the way to the restaurant and having to ask for directions at a remote little souvenir shop
476
going for a walk in the rain and splashing in puddles
507
going to tourist traps just to buy shitty souvenirs for each other and compete for the most tacky ones.
313
got drunk and broke into a dragon guarded tower together au
1214
got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity's biggest fan' AU
1733
got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity's biggest fan' AU
1777
greasers / socs AU
1767
has to share a cab because there's a thunderstorm ahead (and then gets stuck in ridiculous NY/LA traffic) AU
173
i don't know who you are but we keep running into each other on the street and getting into screaming arguments over the stupidest things and I'm actually looking forward to our next meeting because you're annoying as hell but you're hot as **** and its kind of fun to argue with you' au
275
i fainted during the dissection and you're the one who caught me
31
help me out while i paint this mural? someone's got to hold the ladder
542
hey you've had a rough day so let's get in our PJs and watch a cute movie together and cuddle bUT IT'S TOTALLY PLATONIC ALRIGHT
1181
hitchhiker ride au
541
holy shit i just realized i've liked you for the past 8274 years and i really wish i didn't but i dO and everyone somehow knows about it except for you oh my god why is this happening to me
1723
holy shit i'm in the wrong car' AU
1555
how do you keep getting my name that wrong on my coffee cup AU
1583
how the hell does your cat keep getting into my house AU
1785
hunger games AU
1632
i accidentally texted the wrong number with a cat meme and you replied back with a different one unexpectedly and we just kept going 'till i was convinced i would marry you
1688
i always carry bandaids && medicine in my bag, && you keep getting sick && beaten up && ask for these small things. i'm actually starting to get attached && worried. ❜❜
181
i asked a staff member and they said you've been coming to the pound every day to play with the dog i'm taking home today and that's why you're getting weirdly emotional' au
1747
i audition to model in your music video and we end up hitting it off AU
1895
i called one of the telephone numbers written in the toilet stall and now i want to **** your voice' au
1898
i called tech support bc netflix won't work and somehow ended up discussing this series for 15 minutes with you do you wanna hang out when your shift ends' au
1900
i can't cook for shit and my mother keeps telling me i'll never become anything if i can't even make a proper meal and i somehow stumbled upon your food blog and it has now saved me so many times i just wanted to let you know about my gratitude in this oddly long, ridiculously personal email' au
1821
i come here when i want to be alone and i didn't think anyone knew about it so where the hell did you come from au
321
i just fell in love with my magic mirror au
1683
i just got bowled over by your huge-as dog in the park && now you're profusely apologizing while trying to hold your dog off ❜❜
267
i just saw your show and though you may just be an ensemble member i thought you were the most talented person there also would you like to go on a date with me?
1116
i keep callling tech support because you're helpful and also your voice is really cute au
1455
i know it's the apocalypse but please can we keep this stray dog AU
1681
i let you cheat with my answers on a test ; then you got the highest grade possible && now you owe me a HUGE favour. ❜❜
99
i made a horrible first impression at the gate or in line for airport food but now we're sitting next to each other au
1374
i may have been drunk and i may have fallen on top of you in the middle of a concert but thanks for helping me get cleaned up
540
i never realized you were such an awful driver but since it's your car you won't let me drive and i'm seriously fearing for my life au
1818
i ran away from home and knocked on the wrong door but you want to take me in anyway au
1899
i see you all the time in school and i really wish i saw you more in my bed but i'm shy as hell but i checked out star sign compatibility and it matches perfectly so please notice me' au
532
i told you that bag of hot fries was mine but you ate them while i was sleeping and now i'm pissed and stuck with you (and half a pack of stale graham crackers) in the car for the next eight hours au
1699
i tried to call a crisis hotline but got one number off and started ranting for 10 minutes before you got to speak and tell me i got the wrong number but now you're worried about me and telling me not to hang up
1685
i tried to play matchmaker with you && a friend, but oops i think you're kinda cute ❜❜
1689
i used to have a rivalry with you in primary / middle school, but i met you again after a time in senior school && you're hot dammit. ❜❜
1700
i want to be 'the man who can't be moved' level romantic but i spent an hour just trying to pick out a candy bar for you because i wasn't sure what you like im sorry
265
i was sitting in the front row when you winked at me onstage and i'm pretty sure you just beckoned me into your dressing room i really want to **** you but i'm nervous as hell
1293
i was trying to read in the park and your stray football ****ing knocked me unconscious
1692
i was watching that hot jogger while driving out of the neighborhood but got distracted and crashed but i just woke up in a hospital room and said hot jogger is at my bedside because apparently they're the one who called the ambulance
545
i will die protecting you. no question about it. i care for you more than anyone else in the universe and even though i act like you're a pain in the ass i love you so much. you dweeb.
260
i wrote a ten minute play for a school project and my friends are playing the romantic leads but i just realized i'm attracted to one of you and i don't know if i can direct this anymore
1621
i'm a fierce coffee lover who had recently cut caffeine down to once a week and the day i bought one you accidentally knocked it over and i was gonna be mad but you looked at me and holy **** those eyes so even though i'm not mad anymore i'll still pretend to be so you'll but me coffee
1893
i'm a freshman and the the seniors stole my underwear as a prank do u happen to have an extra bra' au
1824
i'm a government worker and i had to seduce you for a case but i'm starting to like you legitimately au
263
i'm a veteran performer and you're new to this company but you just stole my lead role away for the upcoming show and now i'm determined to destroy you
1634
i'm best friends with your brother and when we were face-chatting you walked past in your boxers and bent over to pick something up and i tried averting my eyes but that ass
175
last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn't either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us' au
1143
law school AU
1136
lawyers AU
1297
look i'm glad you have a healthy sex life and all but will you please try not to pierce a whole through my ceiling with your bed thanks
1744
lost in a random small town and you show me around AU
1284
mail keeps coming to the wrong address au
1148
medical school AU
1123
meeting while waiting for hours on end in the emergency room au
311
merperson caught in a fisher's net au
1884
met at a family reunion but not related to each other AU
1878
met in the veterinarian's waiting room AU
1769
met on a cruise ship AU
1880
met on an embarrassing singles cruise AU
1282
met on omegle au
1182
met through online rpg au
1231
met while buying condoms at the corner store
1822
met you at a bar but it turns out you're a soldier and you're getting shipped into combat tomorrow au
1783
modern day beauty & the beast AU
1761
modern day romeo and juliet AU
1124
monopoly night au
1296
my best mate somehow ****ed up my tv and tonight is the season premiere of this show i really really like and no livestream will work on my computer so will you please let me watch it on your tv i promise i'll go back to my flat once it's over
1901
my datemate and i were going on a roadtrip but we broke up and i know we don't really know each other but do you wanna drive across the country with me this summer' au
320
my folks are making you steal a griffin feather to prove your love but that's not stopping me from going with you au
1701
my friend brought you along to an outing of ours and i get way too into singing along to mumford and sons songs in the car and my friend is laughing but you're trying to imitate a banjo sound with your mouth because what's mumford and sons without violent banjo playing
204
small business next door to each other on the high street w/ similar wares who always fight for customers au
1291
my stupid cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so i followed him inside and you came home earlier than i expected and found me in the middle of your living room but i swear i'm not a burglar ok
147
new roommate cooks alone for the first time and almost burns down the house' au
1121
newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au
1788
nothing but a fragment of ones imagination AU (as in a coma & they imagine each other being real)
213
office prank war au
497
oh no we stayed out too long and need to warm up better share the shower/hot chocolate to conserve resources
1153
on a train together and the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere for some reason AU
1144
on the same college tour AU
484
one carves the pumpkin, the other one stares horrified and whispers, 'YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE GONNA KILL IT'
257
one of us is an actor and the other is on tech and we've been warned not to date each other but wow do we really want to date
486
one person wears fingerless gloves the other wears fluffy mittens
1766
we ****ed once and somehow keep bumping into each other AU
1277
reached for the last snack item at the same time au
135
really distinguished food critic and fast food chef au
134
rebellious teenager who's failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor au
1134
reluctant teammates that save the world together AU
1149
ride the same bus together literally every day AU
1557
risked my job by talking you out of buying a crappy product at the store where I work
205
rival CEOs who secretly **** au
1117
rival ice cream trucks au
1568
rival local news stations AU
1224
rival superheros who are trying to protect the same small city
1128
sharing a high school school textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners au
1578
showed up to a Halloween party in matching costumes AU
209
single parent boss who sometimes has to bring the kids into work vs employee who once complained about the boss' toddler throwing up on their paperwork au
107
the days leading up to the end of the arrangement where one of them, still confused and muddy about their Feelings and unsure how to break things off, stiffens to the casual, reflexive touching and puts their walls back up. the other one accepts and respects this as the end of their agreement and squashes back down all the hope they ever had, stuffs it next to the heartbreak they're ignoring deep in their chest.
43
the obligatory coffee shop story in which i buy my hot chocolate with cinnamon whenever i feel bad and the cute barista starts drawing little pictures on my cup to make me smile and it always works so i come on days when i don't actually feel sad AU
539
the people in the room above us are doing loud things and we have nothing tall enough to bang on the roof with (unless either of us is willing to stand on the bed and use our head) and it's too late to talk to management au
538
the road we need to take is completely snowed in and there's nothing but a grocery store in sight... you ever begged to sleep in a shopping cart before? Au
1816
there's a long ass train and we've been waiting for it to pass for twenty minutes and you're leaning out of the window of your car yelling at it so i'll make some polite conversation au
54
there's an overnight IT person at school who always answers the phone when i call about a problem with my computer and i totally have a crush on their voice and their exasperation and ALSO the bakery down the street is always running out of my fave scones and the adorable person behind the counter can't hide their amusement and i think it's super rude but also super cute AU
372
these super powers are so awesome it's so exciting but I have zero control over them and I'm so sorry
1453
they captured you and put me in your room because i can suppress other people's powers so you hate me but i'm lonely and bored and want to talk to you AU
35
they painted over that one wall in the main staircase again so i was going to paint some cool graffiti on it but you got there first
367
this is my first job waiting tables and wow these plates are heavy but I'm doing my best which apparently isn't enough to defy gravity I'm so sorry
1101
this job would be a lot easier if you weren't on my team, but i really don't have the heart to tell you that you're rubbish at this because the look on your face when i told you you could join me was just so... i'm cruel but im not THAT cruel ok??
1734
this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they're cute so whatever' AU
1294
this really cute guy rented the apartment over the bakery/flower shop/store i work at and i keep trying to find excuses to be outside when he comes home
1150
vet clinic AU
1554
volunteered to wait tables at your fancy charity fundraising dinner AU
1819
waiting in a holding cell together for our friends to bail us out and you're unexpectedly cool au
1826
walking between my s.o and you and i grabbed the wrong damn hand au
495
watching cartoon holiday movies together in a blanket cocoon and singing along to the songs bc lets be real everyone does it
108
when they realize they're actually fully and enthusiastically mutual about the way they feel and it's, like, two parts euphoria and one part agony because they just cannOT BELIEVE, the happiness tears them in two. maybe there are weepy or laughing kisses. i don't know but i'm usually invested like 2000%. i love fake dating/marrieds.
567
whenever people come over you have to hide and try to sneak out inconspicuously but you're loud and clumsy and now everyone thinks I have a cat
509
which member of your otp wants to go to super sophisticated cities and which one wants to visit the world's largest ball of yarn?
485
which one buys ugly baggy sweaters and which one actually wears them
482
which one gets Super Excited for fall and gets pumpkin everything while the other one shakes their head and can't wait until mint everything
480
which one seduces the other into standing under a tree before shaking the branch and soaking them
489
which person asks to do a seance in the graveyard halloween night, which one slaps them and says 'have you ever SEEN a horror movie??"
494
who makes hot chocolate from scratch, who mixes it with a candy cane and calls it a day
483
who rakes the leaves; who jumps into the pile
475
who wears the designer raincoat/umbrella set and who is wearing oversized polkadot rainboots and a huge yellow duck raincoat
501
who wears the oversized scarf and hat, who wears a t shirt and skinny jeans no matter how cold it is ("DUDE ITS ****ING -15″ "that's WARM where I come from")
493
who-can-find-the-tackiest-decorations contest that gets super intense and oh god did we really need a second tree and the plastic santa and the rainbow menorah and all of these garlands jesus christ
182
why are you dancing in your underwear to Kelly Clarkson in a public bathroom while brushing your teeth' au
1579
will you pretend to be my date to my family's holiday party so they'll stop harassing me about being single, there's food in it for you AU
1754
woke up with amnesia AU
1287
worked really well together in online co-op au
1122
working at a theatre together during the midnight premiere of a blockbuster au
1129
working in a museum au
1249
ya'll really liked this so i'm bringing it back with some more
1191
yoga class au
969
you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you're responsible for taking me to A&E
1691
you always like to make me embarrassed by leaning in too close or hitting on me, but i'm used to it now && one day i decided to retaliate i.e. hit on you. ❜❜
1776
you apply to be my roommate AU
1571
you are definitely drunk-texting the wrong number but I'm bored so I'm gonna keep this going for a while AU
1825
you came to look at the puppies i have for sale and you're so into it that i can't help but kneel down and help you assess them au
503
you can literally apply this to any couple. otp?? no problem. ot3?? hell ****in' yeah. ot5?? you may need to rent a bus for that.
258
you can't act for shit but i'm determined to help you improve if it kills me
535
you don't want to waste money on a hotel when your grandparents are in the area but their little lapdog barks at all hours and your grandma won't stop trying to feed me au
96
you fell asleep and i started making funny faces at your kid to keep them amused and the steward mistook us for a couple au
48
you found me drunk and crying in a bathroom because my ex dumped me and then you brought me to a taxi and insisted to give me your number so you'd know that i got home safe and then we start texting a lot AU
177
you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don't want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don't want to go to jail and also you're kind of cute we should make out when I'm not clinging onto your window ledge for my life' au
187
you found me in a mall crying over a bowl of noodles i dropped and i s2g im not usually like this im just having a really weird week' au
970
you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling "batman" onto your stupid cappuccino
1118
you helped me get my kayak upright so we're friends forever au
273
you keep messing up this titration and if i see this solution go bright bloody purple one more time i will beat you with the measuring cylinder
1292
you left your USB flash drive in the library computer and i had to go through your files to figure out who you are and i ended up reading the entirety of this book you're working on and wow you're actually really good????
1694
you left your sketchbook on a bench and i can't really tell but is this supposed to be me??? am i really that skinny????
373
you look a lot like my good friend so I ran up behind you and grabbed your ass with both hands in front of everyone I'm so sorry
572
you look so good and so many people are trying to pick you up and I can only sit in the corner and seethe, and now people are giving me concerned looks
1373
you started banging at my door loudly at 3 am bc you got the wrong apartment and now i'm inviting you in for tea to bitch about the person you thought lived here
1631
you started screaming bloody murder and i could hear you from my apartment and i thought something was horribly wrong but it turned out to be just a spider. and after i squashed it with a slipper you coerced me into being your spider-savior
188
you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you're really hot so i just went with it and now we're heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you' au
1459
you thought i was the leader and you're treating me like royalty and i'm just going to go with it AU
1618
you walk so ****ing slow so i tried walking on the grass to overtake your snail ass but my foot caught on a rock and your long fancy coat was the only thing i could grab on before i completely lost my dignity
1624
you were an architect and i was working for a demolition company who got hired to knock down a crumbling monument and i should be pissed at your pansy protests stopping me from doing my job but your determination is just adorable
1617
you were crying at the library and i thought you were hurt or in need of help but it turns out you had reached the sad part of the show you were marathoning which also turned out to by my favorite show
1126
you were the only one that offered to help me move in au
1546
you work the register at a store I frequent and I get super self-conscious that you're judging my purchases AU
1755
you're a devil and i'm an angel AU
1619
you're a gardener with a nice ass that i can't stop staring at and one day you caught me looking at you bent over and **** that's embarrassing but then suddenly you started wearing tighter pants dear holy lord
1768
you're a ghost and i'm a human and somehow we fall in love with each other AU
1751
you're a hot surfer and i'm an awkward person working at an ice cream stand on the beach AU
1756
you're a jock and i'm into theater AU
1629
you're a loner nerd and i'm a troublemaker and whenever our class takes trips we always end up rooming together because no one else wants to and our teacher is convinced nothing wrong will happen because it's you stuck with me but what do they know
1633
you're always starred in badass movies and you were casted for the one i was assigned a stunt instructor for and i had so much faith in you, man, where did those movie moves of you somersaulting through the air go??
1686
you're always that person who holds the door for a billion people && im always the one late && being that annoying last person you have to hold the door for. one day we end up late to class / work / whatever together. ❜❜
168
you're going to be at the Halloween party and you've won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the **** um
1680
you're infamous for being an *******, && i had to sit next you in class. turns out you're kinda nice one-on-one. ❜❜
1622
you're my brother's coworker and kinda-best friend so you're around a lot and you're pretty cute but my brother will probably stab me if i chase away another friend of his
1904
you're on the street corner handing out brochures for something i really honestly couldn't care less about but holy shit i want to run my fingers through your hair so i guess i could fake some interest' au
88
"**** shit **** please help me, I'm supposed to be in chemistry for non-science majors but somehow, my little humanities major ass got registered into the really hardcore chem class" AU
72
"Hello we are full grown adults fighting over this last balloon that's shaped like a cats head."
78
"Hey you called this number at like 3AM and we talked about some pretty heavy shit do you remember any of that?"
80
"I don't mind that my roommate's boyfriend stays over constantly; I mind that he walks around our apartment-style housing naked" AU
87
"I know that this probably isn't a good idea but it's included in the meal plan and I'm stressed out, so I keep hitting the ice cream sundae bar in the buffet style dining hall at least a couple times a week" AU
66
"I sent a selfie of myself in the tub to the wrong number and you responded back with another selfie. Holy shit you're really attractive."
91
"I was abroad last semester and forgot to fill out the housing form, but your old roommate dropped out so hi, hey, how's it going, I guess we live together now" AU
59
"I was imitating a fight scene off this anime I watched and accidentally hit you in the face."
77
"I was trying to ask for directions and you accidentally pepper sprayed me cause you thought I was your stalker."
82
"I'm exhausted, feverish, and hacking up a lung, and the student health center's first suggestion was pregnancy, can you help me get to the ER in town" AU
58
"My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back."
69
"You accidently broke my arm when you fell from a tree and landed on top of me."
64
"You have just witnessed me cry over the ending to my favorite game before class began please don't ever tell anyone about this."
68
"You just caught me reading hardcore smut fan fiction during class and you're wondering how I can read this with a blank face."
84
"bless the spring semester stage combat class for practicing on the North Lawn, because watching my crush get sweaty and worked up while pretending to fight people really Does Things to me, okay" AU
81
"excuse me, I know we don't have assigned seats in college, but I've been sitting in this one for eight weeks and it seems you're in my spot" AU
83
"hey, I left my student ID in my room and you're the first person who's walked by my building for hours now, I hate to be such a bother but can you pretty please swipe me in, it's freezing" AU
89
"if I pretend to be interested in your student social activism oriented club and help you hand out flyers and run your bake sale and shit, is there a chance that you'll go with me to the spring Sleaze Ball dance" AU
85
"oh, Jesus, that annoying group of LARPers is playing D&D on the lawn underneath my window again and I'm trying to ****ing sleep, I have a ****ing midterm tomorrow" AU
29
as part of an installation you're doing you stand in the main hall dressed in white from head to toe with a sign inviting people to draw on you, so i leave my number on your back and you actually call
94
author of book gets seated next to someone reading their book and making entertaining faces at each scene au
44
Excuse you, you are sitting on my seat in this lecture and who are you anyway i never saw you before hey wtf are you checking me out? AU
53
I'm obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and i flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there's a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and i definitely want to say yes AU
12
So you're the kindly neighbor that shoveled my front walk this morning? you should come round for dinner, i owe you one
45
body swap with height difference and lots of awkward ensuing clumsiness AU
95
bonding solely via eye contact over that annoying person on our plane that we're both slowly becoming more and more exasperated about au
47
can i sit with you during this train ride because the guy over there is giving me the creeps and oh my god are you reading a song of ice and fire? AU
23
hi i need to draw someone for an assignment
37
hi i need to draw someone for an assignment
9
i always thought you were weird for carrying an umbrella in the snow, but now it's snowing REALLY hard and we're going the same way
28
i borrowed some of your paintbrushes in class because I forgot mine but i accidentally left with them
33
i bumped into you and your paint box fell and your stuff spilled out everywhere, oh god i'm so sorry
24
i keep coming back to the print shop because my colors aren't coming out right but also you're really cute
38
i keep coming back to the print shop because my colors aren't coming out right but also you're really cute
21
i meant for that snowball to hit my friend but you came around the corner at the last second and now we're having a snowball fight
34
i need to make a plaster cast of someone's face/body part, any volunteers
4
i ordered a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks and you made a heart with the foam and i decided to drink it here so i can smile at you some more' au
6
i was unaware that there was an organized zombie crawl going on and i didn't realize you were in a costume and i screamed in your face because i truly thought i was facing a zombie invasion' au
51
i went to a museum to get some inspiration to draw and then i saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe so i drew you and then you saw my picture and i am dying of embarrassment AU
98
i'm afraid of flying and you were incredibly helpful and tolerant and sweet about it au
30
i'm new here can you help me find the printmaking studios? what do you mean you're lost too
11
it's so cold and the only reason we're outside at all is because we need to walk our dogs
5
this stranger on the street corner looks like they're severely unprepared for this cold weather, here, take my scarf, i was planning on donating it to goodwill anyways' au
46
we are the only two girls left after all the partnering-up stuff in this heteronormative dancing lesson so let's dance together i didn't like any of the guys anyway AU
93
we have the same luggage and didn't check the tags before we left so i'm calling you to exchange suitcases (and you also had some interesting things in your bag so i'm excited to meet you) au
20
we're at the mall when there's a severe weather warning over the loudspeakers, guess we're spending the night here
16
we're playing truth or dare in our friend's hot tub and you make me get out and stand in the snow in my bare feet, I'm going to get you back
15
when i wake up and look out the window, there's a message for me in the snow in my front yard
7
you walked here in a blizzard to get your hot chocolate but you forgot your wallet at home, here, let me buy your drink for you
22
you're a life model and i'm an artist
36
you're a life model and i'm an artist
18
you're an ice dancer and I'm your coach and when you twirl your partner around i wish i was them instead
25
you're the opinionated one who always has a lot to say during critique but when i ask you out on a date you just blush and say yes
39
you're the opinionated one who always has a lot to say during critique but when i ask you out on a date you just blush and say yes
26
you're trying to get your giant canvas into the elevator and you better watch out before you knock someone down, here, let me help you
40
you're trying to get your giant canvas into the elevator and you better watch out before you knock someone down, here, let me help you
