chapter 14 textbook important things

varied styles of parenthood

- stepparents - never married single parents - LGBTQ parents diverse family forms result in varied styles of parenthood. Each type of family- blended, never married, gay or lesbian, among others, presents unique challenges to perenting competence and adult psychological well being.

what problems underly maladaptive communication patterns

A 9 year longitudinal study was completed where researchers asked 2,000 US married people about relationship problems and followed up at 3,6, and 9 years later to find out who had separated or divorced. Compared to men, women reported more problems, largely involving their emotions, such as anger and hurt feelings. Men seem to have difficulty identifying their wife's distress, which contributed to her view of the marriage as unhappy. Other strongest predictors of divorce were infidelity, spending money more foolishly, drinking or using drugs, expressing jealousy, engaging in irritating habits, and moodiness.

planned non marital births

A growing number of nonmarital births are planned and occur to cohabitating couples. But these relationships- common among young adults with low education- are often unstable. More than 12% of US kids live with a single parent who has never married and does not have a partner. 90% are mothers, 10% are fathers.

families with adolescents

Adolescents bring sharp changes in family roles. Parents must establish a revised relationship with their child- blending guidance with freedom and gradually loosening control. As adolescents gain in autonomy and explore values to search for their identity, parents complain that their teenager is too focused on peers and no longer cares about being with the family. Heightened parent bickering over everyday issues takes a toll, especially on mothers, who do most of the negotiating with teenagers. Children navigate the challenges of adolescence more easily than parents, many of whom report a dip in marital and life satisfaction. More people seek family therapy during this phase of the family life cycle than during any other.

American attitudes of cohabitation compared to European

Although Americans have become more favorable toward cohabitation, with more than 60% expressing approval, their attitudes are not as positive as those of Western Europeans. In the Netherlands, Norway, and Sweden, cohabitation is thoroughly integrated into society. Cohabitators have the same legal rights as married couples and express the same level of commitment toward each other. Compared to 60% of American cohabitating unions breaking up within 3 years, only 6-16% dissolve in Western Europe. When Europeans decide to get married, it is usually to legalize their relationship, especially for the sake of the children. Where as Americans marry to affirm their love and commitment, things Europeans associate with cohabitating.

Is Emerging Adulthood Really a Distinct Stage of Development

Although broad consensus exists that cultural changes have prolonged the transition to adult roles for young people, disagreement over whether these years of "emergence" should be designated a new life stage.

gender differences on singleness

Because they marry later, more adult men than women are single. But women are far more likely than men to remain single for many years of their entire life. With age, fewer men are available with characteristics that most women seek in a mate- same age or older, equally or better educated, and professionally successful. In contrast, men can choose partners from a large pool of younger unmarried women. Because of their tendency to "marry up" and men "marry down" men with a high school diploma or less and highly educated women in prestigious careers are overrepresented among singles after age 30.

how gender roles affect criteria for mate selection

Beginning in childhood, men learn how to be assertive and independent- behaviors needed for success in the work world. women acquire nurturant behaviors, which facilitate caregiving. Then each sex learns to value traits in the other that fit with this traditional division of labor. In cultures and in younger generations experiencing equal gender equity, men and women are more alike in their mate preferences. ex- compared with men in China and Japan, American men place more emphasis in their mate's financial prospects, less on her domestic skills. Also, when either male or female young adults were asked to image themselves as the homemaker, the need for a provider and older partners strengthened. but neither gender put good looks, earning power, and mate's relative age at the top of their wish list. they focused more on relationship satisfaction- mutual attraction, caring, dependability, emotional maturity, and pleasing disposition. Even so, men consider physical attractiveness more than women, and women consider earning capacity more than men. gender differences and similarity in desire for caring partner also characterize gay men and lesbians. both biological and social forces contribute to mate selection

childlessness

Childlessness of women in their mid 40s increased from 10% in 1975 to 20% in 2006, and then declined to 15% in 2014. Some people are involuntarily childless because they did not find a partner with whom to share parenthood or their efforts at fertility treatments did not work.

marital roles

Contemporary alterations in the context of marriage, including changing gender roles and living further from family members, so they must work harder at defining their relationship. Although partners are usually from same race or religion, many mixed marriages occur. 12% of marriages between different races, double that of 1980. because of increased contact of diff races in college, workplaces, and neighborhoods, highly educated people are more likely to marry someone of a different race than less educated people. even so, couples of different backgrounds face extra challenges in transitioning to married life

parenting education

Contemporary parents eagerly seek information on child-rearing. In addition to popular parenting books, magazines, and websites, mothers access knowledge about parenting through social media. They also reach out to family members and networks of other women for assistance. Fathers, by contrast, less often have social networks through which they can learn about child rearing, so they turn to their partner to figure out how to relate to the child, especially if they have a close, confiding marriage. Marital harmony fosters both parents' positive engagement with babies but is especially important for fathers.

Rates of divorce of people who cohabitate then marry

Couples who transition from cohabitation to marriage are at a greater risk of divorce than couples who marry without cohabitating. But the difference is explained at the earlier age where cohabitators begin living together. Premarital cohabitation before 25, like early marriage, is associated with reduced readiness to select a compatible partner and forge a committed romantic bond. Also, young premarital cohabitators are more likely than direct marriers to be non college educated, to come from single parent families, to differ in age and background form their partner, and to have previously cohabitated with a partner other than their spouse. Among couples in general, all of these factors are linked to risk of divorce.

how commitment distinguishes couples

Couples whose relationships endure generally report that they love each other more than they did earlier. In a transform from passionate to companionate to compassionate, commitment may be the component of love that determines whether the relationship survives. Communicating that commitment in ways that strengthen intimacy through warmth, attentiveness, understanding, acceptance, and respect, strongly predicts relationship maintenance and satisfaction. ex- if one person is more independent, other needs to assure they understand their needs and will support career. an important factor of expressing commitment is conflict resolution- expressing wishes and needs, listening patiently, forgiving, and avoiding the escalation of negative interaction sparked by criticism and contempt. ex- a study on newlywed's negativity during problem solving predicted marital dissatisfaction and divorce over the following decade. men are also less skilled at communicating in ways that foster intimacy, offering less comfort and helpful support in close relationships. Men also are less effective at negotiating conflict, usually avoidant

what successful achievement of intimacy vs isolation entails

Erikson believed that this resolution prepares an individual for the middle adulthood stage, which focuses on generativity- caring for the next generation and helping to improve society. But as stated previously, few adults follow a fixed series of tasks tied neatly to age. some aspects of generativity- childbearing and childrearing- as well as community service, are underway in the 20s and 30s. still, in line with erikson, friendship and romantic intimacy in adulthood predicts stronger generative orientation. . Identity, intimacy, and generativity are important during this time period

Intimacy vs. Isolation (Erikson)

Erikson's vision has influenced all contemporary theories of adult personality development. this psychological conflict of early adulthood, intimacy vs isolation, is evident in young adults thoughts and feelings about making long term commitment to an intimate partner and in close, mutually gratifying friendships

cohabitation as preperation for marriage

For some couples, cohabitation serves as a way to 'test the relationship' and get used to living together. For others, it is an alternative to marriage, offering the rewards of sexual intimacy and companionship along with the possibility of easy departure if satisfaction declines. Cohabitators vary greatly in the extent they share money and possessions and take responsibility for each others children.

intervention with parents of disadvantaged children

High-risk parents struggling with poverty or the birth of a child with disabilities need more intensive interventions aimed at enhancing social support and family skills. Many low-income single mothers benefit from programs that focus on sustaining the father's involvement.

childhood attachment partners and adult romantic relationships

In Bowlby's ethological theory of attachment, the early attachment bond leads to an internal working model, or a set of expectations about attachment figures, that serves as a guide for close relationships throughout life. early attachment experiences are relatet to parenting behaviors and the quality of attachments they form with their children. recollections of childhood attachments patterns also predicted romantic relationships in adulthood. ex- studies carried out in Australia, Isreal, and the US asked people about their early parental bonds, attachment history, attitudes towards intimate relationships (internal working model), and actual experiences with romantic partners. Consistent with Bowlby's theory, adult's memories and interpretations of childhood attachment patterns were good indicators of internal working model and relationship experiences.

step parent- step child ties

In interviews in which young adult step children provided retrospective accounts of their stepparent relationships, the quality of these ties varied widely, from warm and loving, to ambivalent, to co existing, to crucial and rejecting. Support from the remarried couple, stepparent, biological parent, and extended family members all affect the development of step-parent-child ties. Overtime, many couples built a co-parenting partnership that improved interactions with step children. But establishing step parent to child bonds is hard- contributing to a higher divorce rate for remarried couples with children than those without them.

selecting a mate

Intimate partners generally meet in places where they are likely to find people of their own age, level of education, ethnicity and religion, or connect through online dating services. people usually select partners who resemble themselves in other ways- attitudes, personality, educational plans, intelligence, mental health, physical attractiveness, and even height. romantic aprtners sometimes have complimentary personality traits- one self assured and dominant, the other hesitant and submissive. This difference permits each other to sustain their preferred style of behavior, it contributes to compatibility. but differing in other ways is not complimentary. ex- a warm, agreeable person and an emotionally cool person usually react with discomfort of each other. Overall, little supports that "opposites attract", rather people who are similar in personality are more likely to stay together.

advantages and disadvantages of singlehood

Most commonly mentioned advantages are freedom and mobility. But singles do recognize drawbacks- loneliness, the dating grind, limited sexual and social life, reduced sense of security, and feelings of exclusion from the world of married couples. Single men have more physical and mental health problems than single women, who more easily come to terms with their lifestyle, in part because of greater social support available to women through same sex friendships. But overall, people over 35 who have always been single are content with their lives, though not quite as happy as some married people, single people are happier than people who were widowed or divorced.

voluntarily childnessness

Not always a permanent condition. A few people decide early that they do not want to be parents and stick to that plan. But most make their decision when they are married and have adopted a lifestyle they do not want to give up. Later, some change their minds. The voluntary childless are usually highly educated, have prestigious careers, are committed to their work, and are less traditional in gender role attitudes. At the same time, a recent decline in childlessness is largely due to more educated, career-focused women, who are more numerous than in the past, eventually opting for parenthood.

singlehood

Not living with an intimate partner- this has increased over the years, especially in many young adults. The rate of never-married americans age 25 and older has doubled since 1960, to 23% of men and 17% of women. Today, more people marry later or not at all, and divorce has added to the numbers of single adults- slightly half of all adults. Most Americans will spend a substantial part of their adult lives single, and a growing minority, about 8-10%, will stay that way.

benefits of parent education courses

Parent education courses exist to help parents clarify child-rearing values, improve family communication, understand how children develop, and apply more effective parenting strategies. A variety of programs yield positive outcomes, including enhanced knowledge of effective parenting practices, improved parent-child interaction, heightened awareness by parents of their role as educators of the children, and gains in psychological well being. Another benefit is social support, discussing with experts and other dedicated parents, who share the view that no job is more important to the future of society than child rearing.

step mothers

Particularly the 10% that live in the same residence as stepchildren are especially likely to experience conflict. Step moms who have not previously been married and had children may have an idealized image of family life, which is quickly shattered. Expecting to be in charge of family relationships, stepmothers quickly find that step parent- step child ties do not develop instantly. After divorce, biological mothers are frequently jealous and uncooperative. Even when their husbands do not have custody, stepmothers feel stressed. They find life easier without uncooperative children and may feel guilty about their "unmaternal" feelings. They may eventually build close parent-child bond, but efforts are met with resistance in the short run.

influence of parenting style on the couples relationship

People who engage in effective co-parenting, collaborating in parenting roles, are more likely the feel competent as parents, and have children who are developing well. And they gain in marital satisfaction.

effects of postponing childbearing

Postponing childbearing to late 20s and early 30s eases the transition to parenthood. Waiting permits couples to pursue occupational goals, gain life experience, and strengthen their relationship. Under these circumstances, men are more enthusiastic in becoming fathers and, therefore are more willing to participate. And women whose careers are well underway and marriages are happy are more likely to encourage their husbands to share housework and childcare, which fosters the father's involvement.

rearing young children as a sources of adult development

Rearing young children is a powerful source of adult development. Parents report it expands their emotional capacities, makes life more meaningful, and enhances psychological well-being. Parenting may help them tune into the others' feelings and needs, required that they become more tolerant, self confident, and responsible, and broadened their extended family, friendship, and community ties. A survey of large, nationally represented US fathers states that parental history of engagement with children predicted greater community service and assistance of extended family members in middle adulthood.

how identity development predicts committed partnership

Research confirms that as Erikson emphasized, a secure identity fosters the attainment of intimacy. ex- large samples of college students were taken, and identity achievement was correlated with fidelity and love for both men and women. Contrastly, identity moratorium, exploration without commitment, was negatively associated with fidelity and love. other studies show that advanced identity development strongly predicts involvement in a deep, committed love partnership.

components of love

Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love (2006), identifies 3 components- passion, intimacy, and commitment- that shifts in emphasis as a romantic relationship develops. Passion- the desire for sexual activity and romance is the physical and psychological arousal component. Intimacy- the emotional component consisting of warm, tender communication and caring, self-disclosure, plus a desire for the partner to reciprocate. and commitment- the cognitive component, leads partners to decide that they are in love and to maintain that love.

similarities between homosexual and heterosexual couples in expression

Similar in the expression of commitment, intimacy, and conflict and in the contributions of each to relationship satisfaction. But for lesbian and gay couples, social stigma complicates the process of forging a gratifying, committed bond. Those who worry most about being stigmatized or harbor negative attitudes toward their own sexual orientation report lower quality and less enduring love relationships.

meanings of singlehood

Singlehood can have many meanings. At one extreme there are people who choose it deliberately, at the other those who see themselves as single because of circumstances outside of their control. Most are in the middle- adults who want to marry but make choices that took them in a different direction or say that they haven't found the right person. In interviews with never married women, some said they focused on occupational goals instead of marriage. Others reported that they found singlehood preferable to their disappointing intimate relationships.

transition to parenthood

The early weeks after a baby enters the family are full of profound changes- constant caregiving, added financial responsibilities, and less time for a couple's relationship. In response, gender roles of husband and wife usually become more traditional.

families with young children

Today, men and women are less certain about how to raise children. clarifying child rearing values and implementing them into a warm, involved, and appropriately demanding ways are crucial for the welfare of the next generation and society. Yet, cultures do not place a high priority on parenting, as indicated by lack of societal support for children and families. Furthermore, changing family forms mean that the lives of today's parents differ substantially from those in past generations.

Vaillant's Adaptation to Life (1977)

Vaillant followed the development of 250 men born in the 1920s, selected while they were students at a competitive college. they were interviewed in college and asked lengthy questionnaires in each decade that followed. Then Vaillant in 2002 and 2012 indicated periodic interviews with them about work, family, and physical and mental health between 47, 60, 70, and 85. looked at how the men altered themselves and their social world to adapt to life. Built on Erikson's stages like Levinson. Men focused on intimacy concerns in their 20s and then turned to career consolidation in their 30s. during 40s, became mroe generative- want tp pass on cultural traditions and lessons learned. finally, in late adulthood, men became spiritual and reflective about the meaning of life. did a similar study on women and had similar findings.

paid employment leave

Widely available in most industrialized nations but not the US, is crucial for parents of newborns. But financial pressures of mothers who are eligible for unpaid work leave take far less than they are guarenteed, while fathers take little to none. when favorable workplace policies exist and parents take advantage of them, couples are more likely to support each other and experience family life as gratifying. as a result, stress caused by the birth of a baby stays at manageable levels.

background factors that increase chances of divorce

Younger age at marriage, being previously divorced, having parents who are divorced. Couples who marry at younger ages are more likely to report infidelity and jealousy. Parental divorce elevates risk of divorce in the next generation because it promotes child adjustment problems and reduces commitment to the norm of lifelong marriage. So, they are less likely to work through conflicts or have the skills to do so. Marriage to a caring spouse from a stable family background reduces these negative outcomes.

egalitarian same-sex couples

a common assumption is that among same sex couples, one partner assumes a traditionally "male" role and the other a "female" role, this is rarely so. Egalitarian relationships with equal sharing of authority and household tasks, are more common in same sex than other sex relationships.

second birth effects

a second birth usually requires that fathers take on an even more active role in parenting- by caring for the first born while the mother is recuperating and by sharing in the high demands on tending to both baby and young child. well functioning families with a newborn second child typically pull back from the traditional division of responsibilities that occurred after the first birth. fathers willingness to place greater emphasis on the parenting roles is strongly linked to mothers' adjustment after the arrival of a second baby. and the support and encouragement of family, friends, and spouse are crucial for father's well being.

resistant attachment

adults recalling a resistant attachmrnt history - parents who respinded unpredictably and unfairly- presented internal working models in which they sought to merge completely with another person. At the same time, they worried that their desire for intense intimacy would overwhelm others who really do not love them and would not want to stay with them. their relationships were riddled with jealousy, emotional highs and lows, and desperation about whether the partner would return their affection. resistant adults are quick to express fear and anger, and they disclose information about themselves at inappropriate times.

secure attachment

adults who describe their attachment history as secure, (warm, loving, supportive parents) had internal working models that reflected this security. they viewed themselves as likeable and easy to get to know, were comfortable with intimacy, and rarely worried about abandonment. they characterized most of their important love relationship in terms of trust, happiness, and friendship. their behaviors toward a partner were empathetic and supportive and their conflict resolutions were constructive. they were also at ease turning to their partner for comfort and assistance and reported mutually initiated, enjoyable sexual activity.

avoidant attachment

adults who reported avoidant attachment history (demanding, disrespectful, and critical parents) displayed internal working models that stressed independence, mistrust of love partners, and anxiety of people getting too close. they were convinced that others disliked them and that romantic love is hard to find and rarely lasts. Jealousy, emotional distance, lack of support in response to their partner's distress, and little enjoyment of physical contact pervaded their most important love relationship. avoidant adults deny attachment needs through casual sexual encounters and endorse unrealistic beliefs about relationships- that partners cannot change and men and womens need differ, and that mind reading is expected

statistics of parenthood

among US adults 40 years or older, 85% of women and 76% of men are parents. increasing number of young adults in industrialized nations are delaying parenthood or not having children. family size is also at an all time low because mothers are dividing their energy between family and work. in 1950, average number of children per woman was 3.1, currently it is 1.9 in the US and sweden, 1.8 in Uk, 1.6 in Canada, and 1.4 in germany, Italy, and Japan. even so, many people continue to embrace parenthood.

issues with ongoing relationships

an ongoing relationship requires effort by both partners. research on newleyweds feelinfd and behavior over the first year of marriage reveals that despite couples's optomistic forecasts that thier marital satisfaction wpuld remain stable or improve, partners gradually felt less "in love" and less pleased with married life. a variety of factors contributed, time talking to each other and expressing affection. when discussing conflict, partners declined in accurate reading of each others thoughts and feelings. the increasing number of interactions, they tried less hard to grasp the other's point of view and resorted to well established habits, such as giving in or withdrawing.

recent trends of cohabitation

as cohabitation has risen in the US, cohabitating relationships have become more prone to dissolution. 2 decades ago, US cohabitators who were engaged were more likely to stay together than non engaged counterparts, but now both dissolve at a similarly high rate, 60% and less often lead to marriage. Also, engagement at the start of cohbaitation is declining while cohabitation is on the rise- suggesting that contemporary cohabitation is less often serving as preparation for marriage. More US young adult cohabitors are entering these unions without expectations or plans to marry, perhaps motivated instead by a desire to increase the cost-effectiveness and convenience of life with their current romantic partner.

critique of emerging adulthood that development is multidirectional and multidimensional

at no time has adulthood in complex societies has been attained at a distinct moment. higher education, delayed career entry, and later marriage and adulthood has been going on for a while but is just now noticed. young people in the past reached adulthood earlier in some domains and later in others, just as they do today. They may also reverse direction. ex- moving back to parents house after college or abandoning a career in favor of a renewed study. transitions occur at all periods of adult life, with society influencing timing, length, and complexity.

development of love throughout a relationship

at the beginning of a relationship, passionate love- intense sexual attraction- is strong. Gradually, passion declines in favor of intimacy and commitment, which forms the basis for 2 additional forms of love. The first is companionate love- warm, trusting affection and valuing the other. The second and the most fundamental type of love in and deeply satisfying close relationship is compassionate love- concern for the other's well being, expressed through caring efforts to alleviate the other's distress and promote the others growth and flourishing. people report that expressions of love are moderately to highly correlated, with each helping to sustain the relationship. early passionate love is a powerful predictor of whether partners keep dating. wihtout the quiet intimacy, predictability, and share values of companionate love, couples usually break up. And the combination of intimacy and commitment inherit in compassionate love is linked to happiness and plans to remain together.

age of marriage on marriage stability

because many couples live together beforehand, marriage has less of a turning point in the family life cycle. Age of marriage is the most consistent predictor of marital stability. young people who marry in their teens and early twenties are more likely to divorce than those who marry later. they have not developed a secure identitdy or sufficient independence to form a mature marital bond. early marriage is associated with low education and income- factors strongly linked to marital breakup.

intimacy and identity issues most young adults are grappling with

building an emotionally fulfilling bond is challenging, but intimacy requires that a person gives up some of their independent self and redefine their identity to include both partners' values and interests. those in their late teens and mid twenties say they dont feel ready for a romantic tie, mentioning concerns about their career and financial security, also their emotional readiness related to limits of freedom. without intimacy, adults face negative outcomes of Eriksons' early adult stage, loneliness and self absorption.

intervention and treatment of abuse victims

community services available to women include crisis telephone lines that provide anynomous counseling and social support and shelters that offer safety and treatment. because many women return to their abusive partners several times before making their final move, community agencies usually offe therapy to perpetrators. most rely on several months to a year of group sessions that confront rigid gender steryotyping, teach communication, and use social support to motivate behavior change. although exsisting treatments are better than none, most art not effective at dealing with relationship difficulties or alcohol abuse. and many perpetrators repeat their behavior wih the same or new partner. few interventions aknowledge men also as victims, but ignoring their needs perpetrates domestic violence. when victims do not want to seperate from a violent partner, a whole family treatment approach that focuses on changing partner interaction and reducing high life stress is crucial.

Levinson's seasons of life (1978-1996)

completed in depth biological interviews with 35-40 year old men and similar interviews of women of the same age. Levinson depicted development as a sequence of qualitatively distinct eras or "seasons" coinciding with Erikson's stages and separated by transitions. The life structure, a key concept in Levinson's theory, is the underlying design of a person's life, consisting of relationships with individuals, groups, and institutions. Of its many components, usually only a few relating ti family, close friendships, and occupation are central.

interventions for new parents

couples groups led by counselors are effective in easing the transition to parenthood. Therapists report many couples know little about caring for infants, perhaps because they grew up in small families where they had few sibling caregiving responsibilities. In one program, first time expectant couples gathered once a week for 4-6 months to discuss their dreams for the family and changes in relationships sparked by the baby's arrival. 18 months after the program ended, participating fathers described themselves as more involved with their child than fathers who did no intervention. Because of the father's assistance, mothers maintained their prebirth satisfaction with family and work roles. 3 years after birth the participating marriages were in tact and 15% of couples who didn't do intervention divorced.

how society affects domestic abuse

cultural norms that endorse male dominance and female submission promote partner abuse. In developing countries with widespread poverty that also sanctions gender inequality, partner violence against women is especially high, affecting nearly half or more of the female population.

traditional marriages

despite progress in the area of women's rights, traditional marriages- including a clear division of roles- husband as head of household responsible for family economic well being, wife as caregiver and homemaker- still exist in western nations. In recent years though, these marriages have changed, with many women focused on motherhood while their children were young and then returning to the workforce later.

consequences of divorce

divorce involves the loss of a way of life and therefore a part of the self sustained bt that way of life. It provides opportunity fo both positive and negative change. Immediately after seperation, both men and women experience disrupted social networks, a decline in social support, and increased anxiety and depression. For most, these reactions subside wihtin 2 years. Others distract themselves with a frenzy of social activity. Non working women who organize their identities around their husband have a hard time. And noncustodial fathers who feel rootless as a result of decreased contact with their children.

divorce and remarriage

divorce rates have declined over the past 2 decades, partly because of rising age at marriage, which is linked to greater financial stability and marital satisfaction. Also, the increase in cohabitation has curtailed divorce: many relationships that once would have been marriages now break up before marriage. Still 42-45% of US marriages dissolve. Because most divorces occur within 7 years of marriage, divorce usually involves young children. Divorces are also common during the transition to midlife, when people have adolescent children- a period (as noted earlier) of reduced marital satisfaction.

child bearing motivations

each persons disposition to respond positively or negatively to the idea of parenthood. this effects the decision to have children. in western nations, these motivations have changed overtime, increasingly emphasizing individual fulfillment and de-emphasizing obligation to society.

finding a new partner after divorce

finding a new partner contributes most to the psychological well being of divorced adults. But it is more crucial for men, who adjust less well than women to living on their own. despite loneliness and drop of income, women- especially those in low quality marriages, tend to bounce back more easily from divorce. ex- developing new friendships. However, a few women- especially those who are anxious and fearful, remain strongly attached to their ex spouses, or who lack education or job skills, experience a drop in self esteem and acquire depression. Job training, continued education, career advancement, and social support from family and friends play vital roles in the economic and psychological well being of many divorced women.

struggles finding good childcare for employed parents

for employed parents, major struggles include finding good child care and, when their child is ill or otherwise in need of emergency care, taking time off from work or making other urgent arrangements. The younger the child, the greater the parent's sense of risk and difficulty- especially low-income parents who must work long hours to pay bills, and often in the US have no workplace benefits, cannot afford childcare. with good childcare not available, women usually face more pressures, she must give up her work or endure unhappy children, missed days of work, and constant searches for new arrangements.

first births

for most new parents, the arrival of a baby, though often followed by mild declines in relationship and overall life satisfaction, does not cause significant marital strain. Marriages that are gratifying remain so, but troubled marriages become more distressed after childbirth. and when expectant mothers anticipate lack of partner support in parenting, their prediction generally becomes reality, yielding an especially difficult post-birth adjustment

Levinson findings

found that during the transition to early adulthood, young people constructed a dream- an image of themselves in an adult world that guides their decision making. For men, dreams usually emphasize achievement in a career, and for women dreams were "split" with both marriage and career prominent. Young adults also formed a relationship with a mentor who facilitated the realization of their dream- sometimes a more experienced colleague, friend, family member, or neighbor. Men oriented toward high-status careers spend their 20s acquiring professional skills, values, and credentials. In contrast, for many women, career development extended into middle age. Around 30, a second transition occured. people who had been preoccupied with their career and were single usually focused on finding a life partner, while women who had emphasized marriage and family developed more individualistic goals. ex- woman who finally earns doctoral degree in mid thirties after getting teaching position. many men settle down to create an early adulthood culminating life structure and focus on relationships and aspirations to establish a niche in society consistent with their values- wealth, prestige, or community participation. ex- man becoming partner in firm, soccer coach, and less travel and participating in church. many women however remain unsettled in 30s because they added an occupation or relationship component. ex- had 2 kids and felt torn between research position and her family. took 3 months off of work and did not pursue administrative offerings when she returned.

challenges with freedom to choose to become parents

greater freedom to choose whether or not and when to have children makes contemporary family planning more challenging as well as intentional than it was in the past. still, about 35% of US births are the result of unintended pregnancies, most born to low income, less educated mothers. opportunities to explore childbearing motivations in high school, college, and community based health education might encourage more adults to make informed and personally meaningful decisions- increasing probability that they will have children when they are truly ready.

factors related to partner abuse

in abusive relationships, dominance-submission sometiems proceeds from husband to wife, or wife to husband. in at least half of the cases both partners are violent. violence and remorse cycles, in which agression escalaes, characterize many abusive relationships. why do they occur? personality and developmental history, family circumstances, and cultural factors combine to make partner abuse more likely. man abusers are overly dependent on their spouces, as well as jealous, possessive, and controlling. depression, anxiety, and low self esteem also characterize abusers. trivial events can trigger abusive episodes. when they explain their abuses, they blame their partner instead of holding themselves accountable. many abusers grew up in homes with where parents engaged in hostile interactions, used coercive discipline, and were abusive to their own children. this is why violent delinquency in adolescence predicts partner abuse. adults exposred to childhood domestic violecne are not doomed to repeat it, but they get negative behaviors that can transfer to close relationships. stressful events such as job loss or financial difficulties increase likelihood of partner abuse. because of poverty, rates of abuse have elevated among african american and native americans. alcohol abuse is another factor.

caregiving responsibilities in dual-earner marriages after birth

in dual earner marriages, the larger the difference in mens and womens caregiving responsibilities, the greater the decline in marital satisfaction, especially for women. This results in negative experiences for parent-infant interaction. In contrast, sharing responsibilities predicts greater parental happiness and sensitivity to the baby. An exception exists for lower SES women who endorses traditional gender roles. when their husbands take on child care responsibilities, they report more distress because they feel they are not being able to fulfill their desire to do most of the caregiving.

friendship and intimacy

in friendship and work ties too, young people who have achieved intimacy are cooperative, agreeable, communicative, and accepting of differences in background and values. In contrast, those with a sense of isolation hesitate to form close ties because they fear loss of their own identity, tend to compete rather than cooperate, are not accepting of differences, and are easily threatened when others get too close.

emerging adulthood idea fails to describe the experiences of most of the worlds youth

in most developing countries, the majority of young people, usually women, are limited in education and have to marry and have kids early. About 70% of young people, 1 billion people, follow this traditional route to adulthood. Also, low SES youths in industrialized nations lack academic preparation and financial resources to experience emerging adulthood.

importance of characteristics in men and women in finding a partner

in research in diverse industrialized and developing countries, women assign greater weight to financial status, intelligence, ambition, and moral character, wheras men place more emphasis on attractiveness and domestic skills. In addition, women prefer same are or older partner, and men prefer younger. evolutionary perspective shows that women select mate with traits such as earning power and emotional commitment that help the children's survival and well being. In contrast, men look for mate with traits that signal youth, health, sexual pleasure, and the ability to give birth and care for offspring. Also, men want relationships to move quickly toward physical intimacy, and women want to take time to achieve psychological intimacy.

accuracy of adult descriptions about their childhood attachment experiences

in several longitudinal studies, the quality of parent-child interactions, observed or assessed through family interviews 5 to 23 years earlier, were good predictors of internal working models and romantic relationship quality in adulthood. these findings suggest that adult recollections bear some resemblance to actual parent-child experiences. However, attributes of current partners also influence working models and intimate ties. when generally insecure individuals manage to form a secure representation of their partner, the report stronger feelings of affection and concern and reduced conflict and anxiety. internal working models are continuously updated. have to approach relationship with secure state of mind the insecure one may respond back in kind. this can persist overtime with mututally gratifying interaction.

race division of household labor in men

in the US, african american and european american men devote more time to housework than asian and hispanic men. Although gender attitudes may explain these variations, men are substantially less involved than woman in all ethnic groups.

men in child care

in western nations, men in dual earner marriages participate much more in child care than in the past, although on average they put in just 60% of weekly hours that mothers do. recent surveys indicate women in the US and European nations spend on average, nearly twice as much as men in housework. But exceptions exsist, 7500 european men who were cohabitating, married, egaltarian households were associated with women doing less work. In Norway, Finland, Sweden, and Iceland (Nordic countries that highly value gender equality), 11-13 hours of housework compared to 24-26 hours in Poland Lithuania, Croatia, and Slovenia. (eastern European countries with traditional gender roles.) Mens hours did not increase in egalitarian households, showing just less housework was done but in all nations most home labor fell to women.

romantic love

intimacy and passion. finding a life partner is a major milestone of early adult development, with profound consequences for self concept and psycholoigcal well being.

issues with Vaillant and Levinson's findings

largely based on interviews with people born within the first few decades of the 20th century, many of whom are educationally and economically advantaged. Development is more variable today- some researchers doubt that adult psychological changes can be organized into stages. Rather, people assemble themes identified by these theorists as a dynamic system of interacting biological, psychological, and social forces.

friendships

like romantic partners and childhood friends, adult friends are usually similar in age, sex, and SES, factors that contribute to common interests, experiences, and needs and, therefore, to the pleasure derived from the relationship. adult friends enhance self esteem and psychological well being through affirmation, acceptance, autonomy support, and support in times of stress. friends make like more interesting by expanding social opportunities and access to knowledge and points of view. Trust, intimacy, and loyalty along with shared interests and values and enjoyment of company are important in adult friends just like adolescence. Adult friendship tends to be longer lasting in women because they get together more. social media keeps friends in touch without proximity but suffer from having many "acquaintances" online rather than many friends. facebook use increases casual relationships but not core friendships.

success of arranged marriages

many arranged marriages succeed, with marital satisfaction as high as, sometimes higher than in self chosen marriages. In interviews with arrange-marriage couples from diverse countries who reported that their love gradually grew overtime, the contributing factor most often mentioned was commitment. they explained that commitment helped bring out other qualities that strengthened their love, including good communication, accommodation, and pleasurable physical intimacy. They said building their love in their marriage was an intentional act. this shows under certain conditions love between chosen newly weds can continue to grow too.

pressures of single people

many single people go through a stressful period in their early 30s, when most of their friends have married and they become increasingly mindful of their own departure from society's marital clock. Negative stereotypes as single people as socially immature and self centered, contributes. The biological timeline for pregnancy also approaches in mid 30s. 28-34 year old women revealed in a study that they were aware of pressures from family members, the shrinking pool of eligible men, the risks of later childbearing, and sense of being different. A few decide to become parents through artificial insemination or a love affair. And many adopt, especially from overseas.

ethnic differences in singleness

more than 1/3 of african americans age 25 and older have never married, and more than double that of european americans. High unemployment among black men interferes with marriage. Many african americans marry in their late 30s and 40s, a period in which black and white marriage rates move close together.

remarriage statistics

nearly 60% of divorced adults remarry. But marital failure is even greater during the first few years of second marriages- 10% above that for first marriages. Afterward, the divorce rates for first and second marriages are similar.

negative stereotypes of non parenthood

negative stereotypes have weakened in western nations as people have become more accepting of diverse lifestyles. Voluntary childless adults are just as content with their lives as parents who have warm relationships with their children. But adults who cannot overcome infertility are likely to be dissatisfied- some disappointed, others more ambivalent, depending on compensations in other areas of their lives. Childlessness seems to interfere with adjustment and life satisfaction only when it is beyond the person's control.

Remarriage

on average, people remarry within 4 years of divorce, men somewhat faster than women. Remarriages are especially vulnerable to break up, for several reasons. 1. practical matters- financial security, help in rearing children, relief from loneliness, and social acceptance- figure more heavily into choice of a second marriage partner than a first. This is why remarried couples usually differ in age, education level, ethnicity, religion, and background factors. These conditions do not provide sound footing for a lasting partnership. 2. some people transfer negative patterns of interaction learned in first marriage to the second. 3. people with failed marriage behind them are more likely to view divorce as an acceptable solution when marital differences resurface. 4. remarried couples experience more stress from step family situations. step parent and child ties are powerful predictors of marital happiness. blended families usually take 3-5 years to develop the connectedness and comfort of intact biological families. Family life education, couples counseling, and group therapy can help divorced and remarried adults adapt to the complexities of their new circumstances

never married single parents

over the past several decades, birth to unmarried mothers in industrialized nations have increased dramatically. 40% of US births are to single mothers, more than double the percentage in 1980. Teen pregnancy has declined, but births to single adult women have increased, with a sharp rise during the first decade of the 21st century.

egalitarian marriages

partners relate as equals, sharing power and authority. both try to balance the time and energy they devote to their occupations, their children, and their relationships. most well educated, career oriented women expect this form of marriage.

culture and the experience of love

passionate love, with its intense feelings of ecstasy and longing, is recognized in all contemporary cultures, though its importance varies. Passion, which forms the basis for romantic love, along with respect for the other's unique qualities, became the dominant basis for marriage in 20th century western natures as the value of individualism strengthened. tryong to satisfy dependency needs through a close relationship is thought of as immature. this contrasts with eastern cultures. ex- in Japan, lifelong dependency is accepted and viewed positively. The Japanese word "amae" or love means to "depend in another's benevolence. Traditional Chinese interdependent view defines the self through role relationships, son or daughter, brother or sister, husband or wife. feelings of affection are distributed across a broad social network, reducing the emotional intensity of any one relationship.

education and economic disadvantages on splitting up

poorly educated, economically disadvantaged couples who suffer multiples life stresses are especially likely to split up. But also career oriented, economically independent women whose education and income exceed their husband's is also high to get divorced, even though that is subsiding due to the shift towards egalitarian relationships in contemporary marriages.

house work in north american women

research in north american and europe confirms that womens housework hours decline as their employment hours and income increase. employed women's reduced time doing housework is made possible by either purchase of time saving services (cleaning help, packaged meals) or greater tolerance of unkept homes, or both. women possibly do the majority of the work because their paid work is viewed as secondary compared to their husbands, regardless of how much they earn. Men's greater investment in household tasks in Eastern European countries may stem from low income and poor housing, requiring men to put more time into household labor.

stepfathers

stepfathers with children of their own tend to establish pisitive bonds with stepchildren, especially step sons, more readily, because they are experienced in building warm parent-child ties and feel less pressure than step mothers to plunge into parenting. But stepfathers without biological children can have unrealistic expectations. Or their wives may push them into a father role, sparking negativity from children. After several overtures that are rebuffed, step fathers quickly frequently withdraw from parenting.

places skeptics counter where emerging adulthood is unlikely to become prominent

supporters of emerging adulthood say that it is prominent in people in industrealized societies and is spreading in developing nations that play roles in our global economy. but skeptics counter that developing countries with high concentrations of poverty, or industrealized nations with low income youths or those not involved in higher education. and for college graduates, societal conditions can resptrict prospects and rewards of this period. also, in industrealized nations, age graded influences have declined in favor of nonnormative influences throughout adulthood. adults are not unique, but just blurring of age related expectations, yielding multiple transitions and increased diversity in development throughout the adult years.

the decision to have children

the choice of parenthood is affected by a complex array of factors, including financial circumstances, personal and religious values, career goals, health conditions, and availability of supportive government and workplace family policies. women with traditional gender identities usually desire to have children. those in high status, demanding careers less often choose parenthood and when they do, delay it more than women with less consuming jobs. professional women often consider these consequences in decision making and parenthood.

The diversity of adult lifestyles

the current array of adult lifestyles dates back to the 1960s, when young people began to question how the conventional wisdom of older generations and wanted to find their own happiness. The public has since become accepting of other life choices such a staying single, cohabitating, remaining childless, and divorcing. Non traditional family options have penetrated mainstream. Some adults deliberately adopt a lifestyle, wheras others drift into it. The lifestyle may be culturally imposed, such as same sex couples forced to cohabitate in countries where they cannot marry, or tey choose a certain lifestyle because they feel pushed away from another, such as a marriage gone sour. The adoption of a persons lifestyle can be within or beyond the persons control.

emerging adulthood fails to consider economic crisis

the financial upheaval of the 2000s left large numbers of people with bachelor degrees unemployed, with restricted options. in 2015, 7% of college graduates were unemployed and 15% were underemployed- in low paying jobs not requiring college degrees. So they remain without work experiences necessary for advancing their skills. this hinders their "natural" self chosen period of unparalleled opportunities. a person who could have been high in personal agency in a stable economy could have trouble finding a job that makes them want to stick with one thing.

cohabitation

the lifestyle of unmarried couples who have a sexually intimate relationship and who share a residence. Until the 1960s, cohabitation in western nations was largely limited to low SES adults. Since then, it has increased in all groups, especially well educated, economically advanced young people. Cohabitation is now the preferred mode of entry into an intimate partnership, chosen by over 70% of couples age 30 and younger. Cohabitation rates are even higher among adults with failed marriages: about 1/3 of those households include children.

factors related to divorce

the most obvious reason is a disrupted relationship. Having ineffective problem solving styles weakens a couple's attachment to each other. Fights are usually reacted with contempt, defensiveness, and refusal to communicate. This demand and withdraw pattern is found in many partners who split up, with more women often insisting on change and men more often retreating. Another typical style includes little conflict. Partners increasingly disengage with one another, leading separate lives because they have different expectations of family life and few shared interests, activities, or friends.

Lesbiand and gay cohabitation

they are an exception to the high risk of break up in heterosexual couples. The legal right to marry in the US granted in 2015, was so recent that they already viewed their cohabitating relationships as symbols of long term commitment. When marriage became broadly available, nearly 100,000 same sex couples transitioned from cohabitation to marriage within the following months yielding an 8% marriage rate gain. If this trend continues, perhaps marriage will supplant cohabitation as the more common relationship status among same sec couples, as it is among committed heterosexual couples.

stepparents

they enter the family as outsiders and often move into their parental role too quickly. Lacking a warm affection bond to build on, their discipline is usually ineffective. Stepparents criticize the biological parent for being too lenient and the opposite for stepparents. Compared to first marriage, remarried parents report higher levels of tension and disagreement, most centering on child-rearing issues. When both adults have children from prior marriages, more opportunities for conflict exist and relationship quality tends to be poor.

Parenthood

today having a child in western civilization is a choice, and not a biological expectation. birth control enables adults to avoid having children in most instances. and changing cultural values allow people to remain childless without fear of social criticism and rejection than a year or two ago. 6% of American 18-40 year olds who say they dont want children is just slightly higher than the 5% who said so 5 years ago.

why victims do not leave these relationships.

victims are chronically anxious and depressed and experience frequent panic attacks. situational factors discourage them from doing so. victimized wife may depend on her husbands earning power or fear even worse harm to herself of her children. extreme assaults, including homicide, tend to occur after partner separation. and victims of both sexes, but especially men, are deterred by the embarrassment of going to the police. also victims may falsely believe that their partner might change.

partner abuse

violence in families is a widespread and human rights issue, occuring in all cultures and SES groups. one form of domestic violence is often linked to others. partner abuse where husbands are perpetrators and wives are physically injured is most likely reported to authorities. but in studies in many countries where people are asked directly, rates of assault experienced by men and women are similar. women victims are more often physically injured, but differences in severity of abuse are small. partner abuse also occurs at similar rates in same sex and other sex relationships. Although self-defense is usually the cause of domestic assault in women, American men and women are equally likely to strike first. reasons for hitting a partner include getting their attention, gaining control. and expressing anger.

rewards of having children

when americans and europeans are asked about their desire to have children, they mention a variety of advantages. some ethnic and religous reasons exsist, but in all groups highly rated reasons for having children include personal rewards- the warm, affectionate relationship, and opportunities for care and teaching that children provide. also frequently mentioned are social returns, such as affirmation of one's adult status and children as a source of caregiving in later life. also, a sense of future community- having someone to carry on after one's own death. and sometimes it is used for couples to deepen their relationship.

lifelong partners on eastern cultures

when choosing a lifelong partner, chinese and japanese young pelpe are expected to consider obligations to others, especailly parents. compared to western counterparts, college students of Asian heritage place less emphasis on physical attraction and deep emotion and more weight on companionship and practical matters- similarity of background, career promise, and likelihood of being a good parent. Still, eastern countries such as China, India, and Japan where arranged marriages are still fairly common, parents and perspective brids and grooms consult one another before moving forward. If parents try to force them to marry someone they don't love, they stress this and resist. But, the arranged marriages offer advantages in the cultures where they occur, including greater family and community support.

emerging adulthood fails to consider extended exploration might be a struggle to find a rewarding job, even after college

when college graduates find satisfying work, they would not postpone this responsibility. this exploration might be a coping mechanism because they cant find rewarding jobs or dont have the personal agency to make good choices and acquire adult skills. these young people may become uncommitted for too long, an outcome that impedes the focused learning required for a successful work life.

disadvantages of having children

years of extra burdens and responsibilities. role overload, doubts about their own readiness for parenthood, and worries about bringing up children in a troubled world. the financial strains of child rearing follow close behind. according to a conservative estimate, todays new parents will apend about 300,000 to rear a child from birth to age 18, and many add additional expense for higher education and financial dependency during emerging adulthood.