Chapter 3

Today, people look back at the ________ as the era of the perfect nuclear family and the high point of traditional family values.

1950s NOTE: Popular television sitcoms romanticized and exemplified the good life American families strove for during that period. But the reality was far different for many families, particularly older adults.

What are signs of an unhealthy family?

>Substance abuse/addiction >Perfectionism >Overprotection >Mental illness in one or both parents >Compulsive-obsessive behavior >Neglect >Emotional, physical, verbal, or sexual abuse >Religious or political fanaticism >Blurred boundaries and roles >Denial or trivialization of erratic behavior

An older man is newly widowed. What might he most likely say about his experience after the loss of his wife? A. "I always thought I would die first. I'm not really prepared to live alone." B. "I see a grief counselor every week and joined an online support group." C. "Although I miss her tremendously, I'm busy working, volunteering and seeing friends."

A Many men assume they will die first and are not prepared to be a surviving spouse at every level.

Guidelines for having a family mediation meeting?

1. Be Inclusive. >>All relavant family and third parties (e.g. financial planner) should be involved. 2. Location >>held in a comfortable, neutral, and private location such as a hotel conference room or private office. 3. Information Sharing >>Facilitator will work with the family to determine the major purpose of the meeting and establish a short agenda, including a set amount of time for each person to offer solutions and their opinions on other people's answers. 4. Information Sharing >>The facilitator ideally will collect and share information before the meeting. For example, if the older adult has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, family members should have information about the disease (signs, symptoms, progress, treatment, etc.) beforehand to ensure everyone has the same working knowledge of the condition, which will inform what options are available and realistic. 5. Be Prepared >>Participants should carefully read any material they've been given before the meeting and prepare a list of questions, concerns, and possible solutions.

Examples of Nontraditional Couples:

1. Cohabiting Couples 2. Nonsexual Couples in Shared Housing 3. Same-Sex Couples 4. Never Married

What are the four types of social support?

1. Emotional >>Includes confiding, comforting, reassuring, and listening 2. Informational >>Provides advice and information (for example, when making decisions about medical issues, selling or buying a home, and long-term care options) 3. Instrumental >>Involves, for example, housework, transportation, shopping, personal care, and financial support such as direct money transfers, and assistance with banking and check writing 4. Financial >>May include direct help with payments for housing or medical needs

Functions Grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren?

1. Emotional Support The presence of grandparents provides a sense of continuity, security, and longevity in the family. 2. Family Historian Grandparents are often the keepers of the family knowledge and traditions, passing down the stories that map out a family's larger journey through time. 3. Family Crisis Managers Divorce, death, severe illness, accidents, or other disasters can strike and create chaos in the lives of their children and grandchildren. Grandparents often step in and provide assistance—child care, housing, transportation, money, and perhaps most important, love, a shoulder to cry on, and their attentive presence. 4. Arbitrators Having a grandparent willing to listen about family matters can be a way for children and grandchildren to safely blow off steam, and grandparents may in turn be able to mediate on behalf of both parties. 5. Source of Values Grandparents may be a source of values to their grandchildren. 6. Caretakers or Surrogate Parents In extreme cases, grandparents can become caretakers or surrogate parents of grandchildren, as discussed.

What are the three types of bonds that Atchley and Barusch identified that foster close relationships?

1. Interdependence >>a mutual, reciprocal relationship between two or more people through which people's needs are met better together than they would be alone. Interdependence can also increase the resources available to a person. For example, the crew selected for each space shuttle mission brought different sets of expertise to the flight, reducing the number of tasks any one crew member needed to do or know how to do. 2. Intimacy >>The mutual exchange of "affection, trust, and confidence." For example, sharing secrets or inside jokes with longtime trusted friends or family is a way we experience intimate moments. Intimacy can also take the form of sexual or sensual interaction. 3. Belonging >>Our need to be part of a group that shares and validates similar values and beliefs and offers an environment in which group members feel safe, secure, and free to be themselves.

What are some benefits of social media that could help older adults relate to family and friends?

1. Keep families close. (e.g. Facebook) 2. Social photo and video sharing. 3. Coupons and otehr discounts. 4. Peace of mind. (communicate on a daily basis) 5. Community belonging.

Potential issues with Social Media?

1. Risk of being alone together. 2. Personal data sharing. 3. Technology learning curve. 4. Blurring of online versus offline friends.

Tom and Helen, both retired, have been happily married for 40 years. After a stroke, Tom requires a lot of daily caregiving, which Helen provides. If Tom doesn't recover enough to be independent, and they don't hire a professional caregiver, what will most likely happen in their marriage? A. Helen will feel dissatisfied. B. Tom will feel dissatisfied. C. They will feel even closer because of caregiving's intimacy.

A Prolonged caregiving has been correlated with a decline in marital satisfaction.

What are Grandfamilies?

A grandparent or kin member (e.g., cousin, aunt, uncle, sibling) raising children because the middle generation (the children's parents) is absent or unable to parent.

What are Blended Families?

A husband and wife living together with children whom one or both partners bring to the family from previous marriages or relationships; may also include children from their union.

A nuclear family is a home with ________. A. parents and children under one roof, with relatives nearby B. parents, children, and siblings of the parents with their children under one roof C. parents, children, and grandparents under one roof with relatives nearby D. two or more pairs of parents and children under one roof

A. parents and children under one roof, with relatives nearby

What is a Vertical Family Structure?

Also known as a "beanpole family;" a family structure in which the configuration is more "vertical," meaning there are more generations alive at one time but with fewer individuals in each generation. The beanpole structure is four or five living generations, with two or less siblings in each generation The vertical family structure of the 21st century is significantly different, mainly because family members are likely to live an additional 30 years. This results in different experiences, such as: >>Most adults will be parents three times as long as they were children. >>Sibling relationships could span 80 years. >>Most adults will have their parents longer than they have their children. >>Midlife adults will have more aging parents than they have children. >>Women will spend some of their years living alone.

What is a Horizontal Family structure?

Also known as a "pyramid family;" a family structure in which the configuration is more "horizontal," meaning fewer generations are alive at one time but each generation has more individuals.

What are multigenerational households?

At least two generations of adults and one generation under age 25 living together.

An older man won't talk about his feelings of grief and depression with his neighbors, but he finds great comfort in attending support group meetings. Which term best describes the type of bond he has with the participants at these meetings? A. Belonging B. Inerdependence C. Intimacy

B Belonging fulfills our need to be part of a group that shares and validates our values and beliefs and offers an environment in which we feel safe, secure, and free to be ourselves. The older man at these meetings feels comfortable talking about a problem he does not otherwise discuss, indicating that he feels part of a community that understands his struggles.

A tax planner notices tension between a married couple who are his clients, especially when they discuss their unemployed adult son who is living with them. This is affecting the couple's ability to make decisions. Since he is not a certified mediator or counselor, what is the best thing the tax planner can do? A. Overlook the tension and stay focused on creating the couple's tax plan. B. Discuss his observations with the couple the next time they meet. C. Suggest to the couple ways to improve the situation with their son.

B. Discuss his observations with the couple the next time they meet. The professional can use his observations on a general basis; comments should not be clinical or diagnostic; and be prepared to give a referral to a qualified facilitator, counselor, or mediator.

A financial planner purposely allocates meeting time to hear older clients reminisce and tell stories about their lives. She does this to ________. A. build rapport with her clients B. understand her clients' values, hopes, and fears C. learn how the "good old days" actually were

B. understand her clients' values, hopes, and fears Nostalgia and reminiscing often reveals a client's values, hopes and fears. Knowing more about these things helps a professional recommend the best options for clients.

What is Nuclear Family?

Both parents and their children.

Two older women have lived next door to each other on the same condominium floor for five years. They take turns making dinner and running errands for each other. This relationship illustrates ________. A. dependence B. independence C. interdependence

C Interdependence is a mutual, reciprocal relationship between two or more people through which people get their needs met better together than they would alone.

The best place to hold this meeting is ________. A. the client's home B. a private back room in a restaurant C. the attorney's office conference room

C. the attorney's office conference room The attorney's office conference room is a comfortable, neutral location with privacy.

What is the Family Household?

Everyone who lives together in one housing unit—parents, children, grandparents, and others unrelated to the householder.

Due to the smaller number of the younger generation, families have become simplified. (T/F)

False Families today are generally not simplified. Rather, they are potentially more complex, diverse, and richer than those of prior generations. The reasons for this increasing complexity are many. Unique historic events and economic, demographic and social factors all contribute.

When multiple professionals join a family meeting, it usually inhibits family discussion. (T/F)

False Professional expertise at the meeting can enhance everyone's understanding of the issue and of solutions and resources, especially if long-term care options are being considered.

What is Emotional social support?

Includes confiding, comforting, reassuring, and listening

What is Instrumental social support?

Involves, for example, housework, transportation, shopping, personal care, and financial support such as direct money transfers, and assistance with banking and check writing

What is Financial social support?

May include direct help with payments for housing or medical needs

What is a Family?

Only those who are related to each other by birth, marriage or adoption.

What is Informational social support?

Provides advice and information (for example, when making decisions about medical issues, selling or buying a home, and long-term care options)

You can help clients whose loneliness seemingly prevents them from moving forward by encouraging them to do the following:

Recognize lonesome feelings and express them. The first step to addressing loneliness is naming it. It is often difficult for people to admit or recognize that they are feeling lonesome. Older adults can talk about their feelings, write in a journal, or write a letter to a fictitious friend to help them clarify their feelings. Reach out across distance and time. Social interaction does not need to be face-to-face to be meaningful. Phone calls, writing letters and emails, and utilizing technology are all good ways to communicate with others. The notion that too much time has passed to contact a distant relative or old friend or to rekindle another previous relationship may be an obstacle for older adults to overcome. Once contact is made, though, most people are delighted and flattered to be remembered. Pursue an activity or hobby. Sometimes older adults think they are too old to take up something new, but the truth is that no one is too old to learn. Pursuing an old or new hobby or activity is a natural way to meet others with similar interests. Join a group. There are thousands of groups and volunteer opportunities available for people of all abilities and interests. Religious, civic, environmental, political, and social groups abound and can be readily found through area agencies on aging, senior centers, the newspaper, bulletin boards, and the Internet. Help others. Volunteering to serve others is an excellent antidote to loneliness. It provides not only meaningful social interaction, but also self-esteem and confidence.

What are Nonfamily Households?

Single and couple households with no children (both common for older adults), group homes, roommates, and unmarried same-sex couples living together.

Who is the Householder?

The person in whose name the house is owned or rented.

In most comparative studies, older adults hold different standards for families and friends when it comes to providing social support. Whereas they expect family to provide support in times of need, they do not expect the same of friends, and thus the support friends do provide is more appreciated. (T/F)

True

Older adults, particularly women, are less likely than their younger counterparts to remarry following divorce and the death of a spouse. (T/F)

True

The 21st century beanpole family structure means that fewer people will be available to provide caregiving for their families, so the few who are available will either have to do more of it themselves or find volunteer caregivers such as neighbors and friends whom they trust, or hire professional caregivers, all without having seen any of their families model how to do it. (T/F)

True

The consequences of these structural changes in the family are profound and far-reaching, particularly in terms of caregiving for aging family members. Fewer people will be available to provide caregiving for their families, so the few who are available will either have to do more of it themselves or find volunteer caregivers such as neighbors and friends whom they trust, or hire professional caregivers. (T/F)

True Important questions include: >>Will the smaller number of the younger generation feel an obligation to care for all their relatives? >>Will social support become intergenerational, with grandchildren and perhaps great-grandchildren both providing and receiving support? >>What effect would this have on the lifestyles and financial resources of both the younger and oldest generations >>Would the increasing number of people without children make planning for long-term care more difficult? >>What might be the impact on professional and community services, health care and home- and community-based services for older adults?

If older adults remain divorced or separated, they lose what many consider the main source of social support in later life—their spouse. (T/F)

True Men are particularly at risk in this aspect because they tend to have smaller social support systems and rely more exclusively on a spouse for support.

In general, women seem to cope better emotionally than men with the death of a spouse. (T/F)

True Most women over 65 know a neighbor, a friend, or someone else in their social network who is widowed and who likely has been a source of social support through that transition. Women are more likely to have a strong social support system and are more willing to ask for and receive help from others. Friends and children are key sources of social support to widows, no matter the gender. Men are often taken by surprise by their wife's death. Most do not expect to outlive their wives, and are usually less prepared at every level to deal with their loss.

Although family members are very important providers of social support (particularly instrumental support), some studies indicate that older adults prefer friends as support providers. (T/F)

True Research also indicates that friendships, more so than family relationships, play a crucial role in the well-being, morale, and autonomy of older adults.

Family meetings should focus on one major issue at a time, even if it means multiple meetings for family members. (T/F)

True The agenda for family meetings should be simple and address just one major issue at a time, rather than seek to resolve every issue in one meeting.

As a result of the changing family structure in the 21st century, fewer people are available to provide caregiving for their families. (T/F)

True The few who are available will either have to do more of it themselves or find volunteer caregivers such as neighbors and friends whom they trust, or hire professional caregivers.

While more than half of Americans 65 or older are married, men are much more likely than women to be married. (T/F)

True Women are more likely to be widowed.