Chapter 9 Review

Approaching Conflict: Collectivistic Culture

- Collectivistics may prefer to have a third person mediate the conflict - Avoid humiliating or embarrassing the person - Pay special attention to the other person's nonverbal communication and implied verbal messages - be more indirect with verbal messages than usual - move on from the situation if the other person does not recognize that the conflict exists or does not want to deal with it

Approaching Conflict: Individualistic Culture

- individualists often separate conflicts from people - focus your attention on the issues involved in the conflict - not the personalities - use an assertive style and be more direct

Five Conflict Management Styles

1. Avoidance 2. Accommodation 3. Competition 4. Collaboration 5. Compromise

Long-Term Conflict Outcomes

1. Avoidance has negative effects on relationship satisfaction 2. Collaboration has a greater likelihood of leading to better long-term outcomes 3. Accommodation and competition have unpredictable long-term outcomes

Two Dimensions of Conflict Management Styles

1. Concerns for others/cooperativeness 2. Concerns for self/assertiveness

Four Features of Conflict

1. Conflict begins with perception 2. Conflict involves clashes in goals or behaviors 3. Conflict is a process 4. Conflict is dynamic

5 Types of Power Currency

1. Resource Currency: Material things 2. Expertise currency: special skills or knowledge 3. Social Network Currency: Links with influential others 4. Personal Currency: personal characteristics 5. Intimacy Currency: when you share a close bond with someone that no one else shares

Five Short-Term Conflict Resolutions

1. Separation - the sudden withdrawal of one person from the encounter - characteristic of avoidance Disadvantage: does not help solve the underlying incompatibility of goals Advantage: it helps people who have a competitive conflict 2. Domination - occurs when one person gets his or her way by influencing the other to engage in accommodation and abandon his or her goals - win-lose solutions - power distance predicts domination Disadvantage: is destructive when it becomes a chronic pattern Advantage: when one person doesn't feel strongly about achieving his or her own goals 3. Compromise - occurs when both parties change their goals to make them compatible Disadvantage: both parties can regret something (mutual regret) Advantage: both parties get something 4. Integrative Agreements - the two sides preserve and attain their goals by developing a creative solution to the problem - effective integrative agreements create win-win solutions - to achieve integrative agreements, the parties must remain, committed to their individual goals but be flexible in how they achieve them 5. Structural Improvements - agree to change the basic rules or understandings that govern the relationship to prevent further conflict - the conflict becomes a vehicle for reshaping the relationship in positive ways - only likely to occur when people control negative emotions and use collaborative approach

Accommodation

High concern for others (win), low concerns for self (lose) - Accommodation occurs when a person abandons his or her own goals and meet to the desires of the other person - Motives: 1. power disadvantage. 2. Love and care Advantages: help maintain the relationship Disadvantages: 1. Always giving in may not be productive 2. One's own ideas/goals don't get attention/be addressed 3. Overuses of accommodation may lead others taking advantage Accommodation is the most appropriate: 1. When the issue is more important to the other person than it is to you 2. When you discover you are wrong 3. When the long-term cost of winning may not be worth the short-term gain 4. To build up credits for later conflicts 5. To let others learn by making their own mistakes

Serial Arguments

Series of unresolved disputes, all having to do with the same issue - endless serial arguments --> the termination of relationships Demand-Withdraw Patterns - one partner in a relationship demands that his or her goals be met and the other partner responds by withdrawing from the encounter

Destructive Communication

Sudden-Death Statements: occur when people get so angry that they suddenly declare the end of the relationship Dirty Secrets: statements that are honest in content, have been kept hidden to protect a partner's feelings, and are designed to hurt - can include 1. Acts of infidelity 2. Intense criticism of a partner's appearance 3. Even a lack of feelings

Kitchen-Sinking

When combatants introduce topics that have little to do with the original disagreement

Symmetrical Relationship

balanced

Physical Violence

both men and women use violence as a strategy for dealing with conflicts Chilling effect - individuals stop discussing relationship issues out of fear of partner's negative reactions

Self-Enhancing Thoughts

cause us to perceive conflicts in ways that make us look right and others look wrong - During disputes, 1. Individuals selectively remember information that supports themselves and contradicts their partners 2. View their own communication more positively than their partners' 3. Blame partners for failure to resolve the conflict

Collaboration

high concerns for others (win), high concerns for self (win) - cooperating with the other party to understand their concerns in an effort to find a mutually and completely satisfactory solution Advantages: both sides have a solution they are happy with and there are no negative feelings Disadvantages: collaborating is very time consuming and takes a lot of effort Cooperation is the most appropriate 1. When the issue is too important for a compromise 2. To merge insights with someone who has a different perspective on the problem 3. to come up with creative and unique solutions to problems 4. to develop a relationship by showing commitment to the concerns of both parties 5. When a long-term relationship between you and the other person is important

Power Distance

how people view the unequal distribution of power as acceptable or unacceptable

Complementary Relationship

imbalanced

Competition

low concerns for others (lose), high concerns for self (win) - competition involves confronting others and pursuing your own goals to the exclusion of others' goals and needs Motives: 1. a desire to control and to hurt others in order to gain 2. a lack of respect for others Advantages: 1. Competition can be appropriate and useful when you need to take a quick, decisive action (e.g. emergency) 2. Competition can be useful in situations in which everyone agrees that competitive behavior is a sign of strength or a natural response (e.g. in games or sports) Disadvantages: 1. It can trigger defensive communication 2. Escalation, a dramatic increase in emotional intensity and increasingly negative and aggressive communication 3. It can lead to hostility and resentment towards the person using the competing style Competition is the most appropriate 1. When the issue is not important to negotiate at lengths 2. When you are convinced that your position is right and necessary 3. When there is not enough time to seek a win-win outcome 4. To protect yourself against a person who takes advantage of noncompetitive people

Avoidance

low concerns for others (no loser), low concerns for self (no winner) - not paying attention to the conflict and not taking any action to resolve it skirting - involves avoiding conflict by joking or changing the topic sniping - communicating in a negative fashion, then abandoning the situation or refusing to continue with the exchange Advantages: 1. if a relationship is short term (a chance meeting), avoidance is a wise choice. 2. May help maintain relationships that could be hurt by conflict resolution 3. Avoidance works in situations where emotions run high Disadvantages: 1. conflict stays unsolved 2. Overuse of the style leads others walking over the individuals Avoidance is the most appropriate 1. When the issue is of little importance 2. To cool down and gain perspective 3. When the costs of confrontation outweigh the benefits

Compromise

moderate concerns for others (win some), moderate concerns for self (win some) - attempting to resolve a conflict by identifying a solution that is partially satisfactory to both parties, but completely satisfactory to neither - true compromise requires each side to give up something in order to reach an agreement Advantages: relationships are maintained and conflicts are removed Disadvantages: compromise may foster mutual resentment and regret is both parties consider their goals important Compromise is most important 1. When the issue is moderately important but not enough for a stalemate 2. When opponents are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals 3. To achieve quick, temporary solutions to complex problems 4. As a backup mode when collaboration doesn't work

Dyadic Power Theory

people with moderate power are most likely to use controlling communication - those with high power feel less need to display power because they know their communication will be listened to and their wishes granted - those with low power feel no need to display power because they do not have power to influence others

Conflict

the process that occurs when people perceive that they have incompatible goals or that someone is interfering in their ability to achieve their objective