COMM chp 12, 13, & 14

1. how to effectively praise subordinates - do: compliment the subordinate's work: his or her achivements, expertise, attitudes, cooperativeness - dont: compliment on personal matters: hair style, clothing, etc; this might lead to unwanted comm that might lead to sexual harassment / discrimination - informally: praise privately rather than publicly; singling out an individual might cause unwanted attention and mixed emotions to everyone; coworkers might feel resentment and envy toward the individual being praised the superior 2. how to constructively criticize subordinates - remain calm, kind, and understanding - follow guidelines for interpersonal comm competence and cooperative language (appropriateness - the degree to which your comm matches situational relational and cultural expectations regarding how people should comm, effectiveness - the ability to use comm to accomplish the three types of interpersonal goals discussed earlier, ethics - the set of moral principles that guide our behavior toward others; relevant, informative, clear, honest) - experience and express empathy toward you subordinate through perspective-taking and empathic concern - avoid belaboring the error that has been made, and instead focus most of your talk time on ideas for avoiding such missteps in the future

2 challenges to downward comm

- routinely and openly emphasize the importance of comm in workplace relationships with subordinates - listen emphathically - when communicating watns and needs to subordinates, frame these messages as polite requests or presuassive explanations - be sensitive to your subordinates' feeling - share relevant information with employees whenever possible

5 principles of competent downward comm

1. plan before you pitch 2. know why your supervisor should agree wit you 3. tailor your message 4. know your supervisor's knowledge 5. create coalitions before communicating 6. competently articulate your message

6 principles of advocacy

organizational networks

Communication links among an organization's members, such as the nature, frequency, and ways information is exchanged. For example, you have weekly face-to-face status meetings with your boss or receive daily reminder e-mails from an assistant; types of info flowing through the network are diverse: share work info, personal info, function as a rumor mill

convenience family

People may, for a particular time span, come to think of a group of people as their "family," although the ties between them are temporary

spillover hypothesis

The idea that emotions, affect, and mood from the parental relationship "spill over" into the broader family, disrupting children's sense of emotional security. everything you say nd do within the family realm spills over into the emotions and feelings of your children

- private is public in the workplace - organizational networks to which you belong can strongly determine the kinds of opportunities -- and obstacles -- you'll encounter as ou advance in your career (try to develop relationships with organizational insiders: reputable, knowledgeable, connected)

What are the consequences of organizational networks

- positivity most powerful; upbeat, hopeful fashion - assurances how much your family means to you - self-disclosure sharing private thoughts and feelings and allowing them to do the same without fear of betrayal

What are the maintenance strategies for families

organizational culture

a distinct set of beliefs about how things should be done and how ppl should behave; shared values, norms, artifacts

extended family

a family type consisting of a group of people who are related to one another -- such as aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents -- and who live in the same household

nuclear family

a family type consisting of a wife, a husband, and their biological or adopted children; today this is minority

stepfamily

a family type in which at least one of the adults has a child or children from a previous relationship

voluntary kin family

a group of people who lack blood and legal kinship but who consider themselves "family"

single-parent family

a household in which one adult has the sole responsibility to be the children's caregiver

family

a network of people who share their lives over long periods of time and are bound by marriage, blood, or commitment; who consider themselves as family; and who share a significant history and anticipated future of functioning in a family relationship

friendship

a voluntary relationship characterized by intimacy and liking; voluntary, driven by shared interests, characterized by self-disclosure, rooted in liking, volatile (less stable, change more)

workplace relationship

any affiliation with a professional peer, supervisor, subordinate, or mentor; differ along three dimensions: status, intimacy, and choice

- manage: sharing tasks, cultivating social networks - difficult during adolescence

autonomy vs connection

identity support

behaving in ways that convey understanding, acceptance, and support for a friend's valued social identities

workplace values

beliefs people share about work performance, dedication to the organization, and coworker relationships

high conversation orientation

believe that open and frequent communication is essential to an enjoyable and rewarding family life; comm regularly, openly, freely, and spontaneously, less likely to avoid conflicts, better IPC skills

- workplace bullying: the repeated unethical and unfavorable treatment of one or more persons by others in the workplace; includes shouting, swearing, spreading rumors, destroying property, excessive criticism

challenges to workplace relatioships

companionship

chances to do fun things together and receive emotional support

advocacy

comm from a subordinate intended to influence a superior in an organization; ex: you convince your manager to try a new product line

upward communication

comm from subordinates to superiors

- isolation restrict employees interaction with coworkers; isolate their work area from others; exclude them from group activities and off-site social gatherings - control of important information prevent important information from reaching workers; provide false job-related information to them; block or delete their correspondence, e-mail, telephone calls, or work assignments - constraint of professional responsibilities assign workers to tasks that are useless, impossible, or absurd; intentionally leave them with nothing to do - creation of dangerous work conditions distract workers during critical tasks to put them in peril; assign them tasks that endanger their health or safety; refuse to provide appropriate safety measures for their job - verbal abuse make disdainful, ridiculing, and insulting remarks regarding workers' personal characteristics (appearance, intelligence, personality, etc) spread rumors and lies about them - destruction of professional reputation attack workers' professional performance; exaggerate the importance of their work errors; ignore or distort their correct decisions and achievements

common forms of workplace bullying

low conformity families

communicate in ways that emphasize diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values, and that encourage uniqueness, individuality, and independence

virtual peers

coworkers who communicate mainly through phone, email, Skype, and other communication technologies

collegial peers

coworkers whom we consider friends

- friendships bt lesbian, gay, bisexual, trangendered, or queer people and straight men or women - bonded by shared interests and activities and provide each other with support and affection; help correct negative stereotypes and support from outside LGBTQ+ community - common on TV but less frequent in real life; straight men and women overwhelmingly form friendships with other straight men and women; principal reason is homophobia - straight men have fewest of these relationships; avg # = 0

cross-orientation friendships

- inc in platonic friendships bt men and women in US and Canada - not motivated by sexual attraction - challenges: ppl learn from early childhood to segregate themselves by sex, society promotes same-sex friendship and cross-sex coupling as the two most acceptable relationship options for men and women

cross-sex friendships

workplace cliques

dense networks of coworkers who share the same workplace values and broader life attitudes; may espouse workplace values contrary to those advocated by the organization, priding themselves on being rebels or disparaging bosses behind their backs

birth stories

describe the latter stages of pregnancy, childbirth, and early infancy of a child

supplemental family

dissatisfaction with family relationships leads people to begin labeling other close people in their lives as "family" even though they retain contact with their blood and legal relatives; most frequent form of voluntary kin family

information peers

equivalent status coworkers with whom our communication is limited to work related content

special peers

equivalent-status coworkers with whom we share very high levels of emotional support, career-related feedback, trust, self-disclosure, and friendship

protective families

families characterized by high levels of conformity and low levels of conversation orientation. For example, Brian's parents expect their son to be respectful, and they discourage family discussions; emphasis on obedience to parental authority and little concern for open comm within the family; parents make decisions for children, no need to explain; children distrust their own decisions-making ability; avoid conflicts, and lack skills to manage conflicts constructively

pluralistic families

families characterized by low levels of conformity and high levels of conversation orientation. For example, Julie's parents encourage her to express herself freely, and when conflicts arise, they collaborate with her to resolve them; open, unconstrained discussion that involve all family members; enjoy debating with one another; parents do not make decisions for children; children learn to be independent; report the highest rates of conflict resolution

consensual families

families with a high orientation toward both conversation and conformity. For example, Dan's parents encourage their son to be open but also expect him to maintain family unity through agreement or obedience; parents make decisions or the children, listen and explain; children adopt their parents' values; perceive conflict as intensely threatening; tension bt an interest in open comm and pressure to preserve the existing hierarchy within the family

laissez-faire families

families with a low orientation toward both conversation and conformity. For example, Samantha's parents prefer limited communication and encourage their daughter to make her own choices and decisions; few interactions among family members that usually concern only a limited number of topics; parents do not make decisions for children, no interest; children little support from parents; avoid conflicts or compete to "win" the debate

- during adolescence, children slowly transfer their emotional attachment from their family to friends - by middle adulthood, many people form long-term romantic commitments and start families of their own and importance of friendship wanes - for the elderly, friendships are the most important relationships for providing social support and intimacy

friendship across the life span

- form friendships quickly and w/ more ppl; help ppl with chronic shyness - social media "friend" not always "real" friend - constantly connected to one another but does not replace in-person interaction (still considered superior)

friendship and tech

family stories

narratives of family events retold to bond family members. For example, Katie's mother often recounts how Katie was born on the day of a crippling blizzard; adding details, disagreeing, correcting discrepancies, and confirming perspectives

- could be extremely close but anything you tell one member is spread easily --> create informational boundaries - comm privacy management theory what? - info (degree of risk) with whom? - ppl (comfortable? trustworthy?) family privacy rules

openness vs protection

relational dialectics

opposing tensions between ourselves and our feelings toward others that exist in interpersonal relationships, such as the tension between wishing to be completely honest with a partner yet not wanting to be hurtful; 3 forms: autonomy - connection, openness - closeness, predictability - novelty

interparental conflict

overt, hostile interactions between parents in a household; impact: childrens social problems, children imitate parents destructive interaction styles, attitudes toward marriage / divorce, explained by spillover hypothesis

professional peers

people who hold jobs at the same level of power and status as your own

survival stories

relate the coping strategies family members have used to deal with major challenges

mixed-status relationships

relationships between coworkers of different organizational status; ex: superior - subordinate, trainer - trainee, mentor - protege

best friends

typically same-sex rather than cross-sex; involved greater intimacy, more disclosure, and deeper commitment than does close friendship; count on them to listen to their problems without judgement and to "have their back" - provide unconditional support; distinct from close friendship in the degree to which shared activities commit the friends to each other in substantial ways; unqualified provision of identity support

sexual harassment

unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes this when 1. this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment 2. unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance 3. creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment

high conformity families

use their interactions to highlight and enforce uniformity of thought

cyberslacking

using the computer for personal reasons; most ppl in US do this for 2 hrs a day, some companies track computers without employee knowledge; everything and anything you do on a company computer is considered company property -- and you will be held accountable for it

low conversation orientation

view interpersonal communication as something irrelevant and unnecessary for a satisfying, successful family life; interact infrequently, a low breadth of topics

communal friendships

voluntary relationship focused on sharing time and activities together

cross-category friendships

voluntary relationship that cross demographic lines

- friendships bt ppl from different cultures or countries - challenges: overcoming differences in language and cultural beliefs, neg stereotypes - reward: gaining new cultural knowledge, broadening one's worldview, and breaking stereotypes - find and bolster some significant type of ingroup similarity (EDM music) - strongest predictor of whether someone will have an intercultural friendship is prior intercultural friendships

intercultural friendships

- a bond bt ppl who share the same cultural background (American) but who are of diff ethnic groups (African American, Asian American, etc) - boost cultural awareness and commitment to diversity - ppl who develop this become less prejudiced toward ethnicities of all types as a result - most difficult barriers are attributional and perceptual errors (biases, stereotypes) - overcome challenges by: review perception-checking, look for points of commonality, know sometimes ppl dont get along encounters are awkward and friendships wont arise and nothing to do with ethinic differences

interethnic friendships

triangualtion

loyalty conflicts that arise when a coalition is formed, uniting one family member with another against a third family member; part of stepfamily transition; two forms: children feeling caught bt custodial vs noncustodial parents, stepparents feeling caught bt their children

- positivity: practicing positivity in the workplace means comm w/ peers in a cheerful and optimistic fashion and doing unsolicited favors for them - openness: means creating feelings of security and trust bt you and your peers - assurance: like assurances given to a romantic partner, assurances given to collegial and special peers help demonstrate your commitment to them - treat each other as a whole human beings with unique qualities and do not strictly define each other simply as coworkers

maintaining peer relationships

- develop and follow comm rules for what's apprepriate to talk about as well as when and how to comm - ex: supervisors who think their subordinates agree with them onhow they should comm tend to rate those subordinates higher on overall performance than subordinates who hold different beliefs about comm - comm in consistent and reliable ways - displaying a stable and professional manner woth supervisors and subordinates, rather than allowing personal problems or moods to influence your comm - being punctual, following through on appointments and promises and keeping confidences - be consistent, this will show that youre trustworthy, open, competent, and perceive others positively

maintianing mixed status relationships

cohabiting couples

two unmarries adults who are involved romantically and live together with or without children

substitute family

Have no contact whatsoever with blood or legal relatives, either because of estrangement or death, and replace their relatives entirely with a group of individuals considered to be family.

- remember that all families have approved and taboo conversation topics - be respectful of the varying opinions and preferences individual family members have regarding openness and protection - avoid abrupt, dramatic, and demanding calls for change - identify a single family member who you think might share your views - discuss your desire for change with them by using you interpersonal competence skills and cooperative language

How can you improve your family privacy rules and bring about a better balance of openness and protection

use online and face-to-face communication in a complementary, rather than substitutive, fashion; email is dominant electronic way

How do families use the internet to maintain their relationships

1. encourage honest comm 2. adapt a flexible mindset 3. collaborate rather than control 4. describe challenges rather than assign blame 5. offer concern rather than professional detachment 6. emphasize equality (dont pull rank, low power distance)

How to create a supportive climate

- diff culture diff expectations (Westerners: friendship doesnt endure vs other cultures: friendship deeply intimate and lasting - US and Canada: friendships bt women are often stereotyped as communal but men's friendships are thought to be agentic - men and women rate the importance of both kinds of friendships equally - male friendships in North America have found that companionship is the primary need met by the relationship - Euro-American men learn to avoid direct expressions of affection and intimacy in their friendships with other males (homophobia and reluctant to show emotion) - other cultures, men and women look to same-sex friends as their primary source of intimacy (spain) - traditional Javanese (Indonesian) culture holds that marriage should not be too intimate and that a person's intimate relationship should be with their same-sex friends

friendship, culture, and gender

agentic friendships

friendships in which the parties are primarily focused on helping each other achieve practical goals, such as those among peers in a study group or colleagues at work

friendship rules

general principles that prescribe appropriate communication and behavior within friendship relationships

virtual networks

groups of coworkers linked solely through e-mail, social networking sites, Skype, and other online services

workplace norms

guidelines governing appropriate interpersonal communication and relationships; on both interpersonal comm and interpersonal relationships

- go slow, but start early - practice daily maintenance - create new family rituals - avoid triangulating family members - be patient

how can you help ease the transition to a stepfamily?

courtship stories

stories about how the parents fell in love

entrance stories

stories that adoptive parents create about how & why the children entered their adoptive families

can connect long-distance workers for easier decision-making and connect workers in a relational manner

tech in workplace

valued social identities

the aspects of your public self that you deem the most important in defining who you are -- for example, musician, athlete, poet, dancer, teacher, or mother

family privacy rules

the conditions governing what family members can talk about, how they can discuss such topics, and who should have access to family-relevant information; govern how family members talk about topics, identify the people with whom family members can talk; can amplify tension within families as people age; what topics to talk about, how to talk about it, identify others with whom you can talk about family-relevant issues

conversation orientation

the degree to which family members are encouraged to participate in unrestrained interaction about a wide array of topics

conformity orientation

the degree to which family members believe communication should emphasize similarity or diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values

network density

the frequency and number of connections among people in a network

Family Communication Patterns Theory

the idea that two dimensions -- conformity orientation and conversation orientation -- underlie the communication between family members

workplace artifacts

the objects and structures that define the organization

organizational climate

the overall emotional tone of the workplace, the overarching emotional quality of a workplace

quid pro quo

this for that, when the submission or rejection of sexual advances is a condition of, or linked to decisions about employment

supervisory relationships

those in which one person outranks and supervises another, less likely than peer relationships to evolve into friendships bc of the power imbalance

1) show support emotional support and offer assistance when needed 2) seek support mutual self-disclosure serves as the glue that binds together friendships 3) respect privacy friendships have more restrictive boundaries for sharing personal information than do romantic or family relationships 4) keep confidences trust 5) defend your friends stand up for your friends 6) avoid public criticism don't make your friends look bad in public 7) make your friends happy make your friends feel good in your presence 8) manage jealousy accept that each of your friends has other goof friends as well, and constructively manage any jealousy that arises in you 9) share humor enjoying a similar sense of humor is an essential aspect of most long-term friendships 10) maintain equity conscientiously repaying debts, returning favors, and keeping the exchange of gifts and compliments balanced

what are the 5 friendship rules

- strong sense of family identity created by how they communicate - use comm to define boundaries - emotional bounds are intense and complex - share a history - may share genetic material - constantly juggle multiple and sometimes competing roles

what are the defining characteristics of family

consensual, pluralistic, protective, and laissez-faire

what are the diff family comm patterns

- nuclear family - extended family - stepfamily - cohabiting couples - single-parent family - voluntary kin family

what are the diff types of families

- betrayal breaking confidences, backstabbing, spreading rumor, lying experience relationship devaluation and loss - geographic separation long-distance friendships are more likely to survive if they: share strong liking, accept change, and share history use tech; constantly remind them that you still think of them; comm your support when they go through dramatic life changes - attraction: romance attraction to each other beyond friendship occurs with both genders to repress attraction - mental management pacts and promises to not pursue the attraction strict avoidance of flirting curtail activities such as going out drinking together strategies may help transition from friendship to romance: expect differences: demands, commitment, emotional intensity; emphasize disclosure; offer assurances - attraction friends with benefits ppl engage in sexual activity, but not with the purpose of transitioning the relationship into a romantic attachment commonly strike an agreement to not fall in love majority of FWB eventually fail bc they tend to develop romantic feelings

what are the main friendship challenges

hostile work environment

when an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment is created bc sexual conduct or gender-based hostility is perceived as so severe or pervasive that it disrupts a person's work performance

downward communication

when formal authority in an organization gives you freedom in the messages you use when interacting with subordinates

parental favoritism

when one or both parents allocate an unfair amount of valuable resources to one child over others; favored shildren more successful and greater well-being, siblings from favoritism families less warmth and closeness more conflict more hostility toward others; not fault of the favored child, focus on maintaining your sibling relationship

defensive climate

workplace is unfriendly, rigid, and unsupportive of worker's professional and personal needs

supportive climate

workplace is warm, open, and cooperative' workers comm honestly, collaborate to solve problems, share credit, practice empathy, and encourage people to treat one another with respect, despite any imbalance in power

- workplace can serve as a natural venue for romantic attraction bc coworkers often share large amounts of time together, physical proximity, and similarity in interests - 40 - 56% of survived professional reported being involved in a workplace romance - they are often discouraged by workplaces because of the heightened risk of favoritism and sexual harassment lawsuits - neg effects of these romances are more common for women than men

workplace romances