Hairspray Tracy's Lines

And I'm LINK!

*SCREAM AT TV* Oh, Link, kiss me again and again!

Now let me at that zit!

*THROW CLOTHES*

Hello? What am I wearing? A hoursedress, scuffies, and supp hose. What are you wearing? Hello? Hello?

*burst into house* Mama, did you see, did you see me?

Baby don't sleep / Baby don't eat / Baby just likes to do the boink boink

*enter with Seaweed SL* Hurry, Seaweed, the dance has already started!!

All my life I imagined what this place would look like. This isn't it.

*go to Velma* Hi, there. Am I too late to audition?

Hey, cupcake. What's your name?

*my name is step* I'm Tracy Turnblad!

Use those blues, brother. You gotta use em or lose em.

*stand up* Hey, that move's swift!

And if you were president, what would your first official act be?

*summoning confidence* Well, I'd make every day Negro Day!

Amber: Well, well, well, Tracy Tugboat, you finally found a title you could win- Miss Special Ed! Link: Knock it off, Amber.

Amber Von Tussle, you have acne of the soul!

Lou Ann! Link!

And I'm ... Tracy!!!!

And sisters!

And meet around the corner from the studio and make signs!

Tracy, come back up here. I've got hampers of laundry and my diet pill is wearing off.

But Mama, I want to be famous!

Sorry.

But you and me together- I was just starting to think...

I'm hurrying, Tracy, but my mother says I'm not allowed to perspire!

C'mon!!

At our house it is.

Corny Collins is hosting the sophomore hop tomorrow night. If he saw me dancing like this with you, maybe he'd put me on his show.

But you can bow and exalt/'cause I am Miss Baltimore CRAAAAAAABS!!!

Cross SR: I know every step/I know every song/I know there's a place where I belong... Why do they have to be so mean? You're short, you're stout, you're not Council material. I wear the latest fashions, I keep up with all the styles. I'm teasing my hair as high as I can!! Will they give me a chance? Encouragement? Appreciation? No, all I ever hear is...

Oh, stop, Wilbur. You're the funny one.

Daddy, tomorrow I'm auditioning to dance on a TV show.

I condemn you to three more days of detention!!

Detention! Is there no pity for a teen just trying to fit in?

Maybe you oughtn't try so hard?

Excuse me. You get detention just about every time I do, and I've never seen you complain.

Oh yes, indeedy. I've seen you, sweetie. All aglow on Corny's show.

Gee, thanks. The only reason I'm on the show is because of your son. Why can't we all dance together like this on TV?

Tracy Turnblad, mind your manners and say hello to our guest.

Hello, Mrs. Pingleton.

I don't know. Can you?

Hello. My name is Tracy Turnblad.

*telephone ring* And there it goes again.

Hello? Yes, this is Tracy Turnblad. Hello, Mr. Pinky!

I haven't been out of this apartment since Mamie Eisenhower rolled her hose and bobbed her bangs.

Hey Mama, Hey Mama look around, evrybody's groovin to a brand new sound ...

Hommina, hommina, hommina, hit it! All: And away we go!!

Hi, Corny!

Penny: How are you doing?

How do you think? I just got creamed in front of the entire school.

Once you've practiced every step that's in your repertoire, you better come on down and meet the nicest kids in town!

Hurry, Penny, hurry! the show's already started! We're gonna miss it!

Who could miss her? Aren't you usually in detention about now?

I cut school to come down here. Isn't that TOO cool? *Laugh hysterically* I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous, can I start over? I assure you I'll calm down, right after I have a heart attack! *beat* Well, I brought my own 45's, so if you put 'em on, I'll show you my stuff.

Well, isn't she a lovely slim girl.

I guess Amber's pretty, but she can't dance!

Stop! That's no way to treat clean clothes. One day, you'll own Edna's Occidental Laundry. Will you be ready?

I hope not.

Wilbur: But Tracy, he could be right. Should you risk your career?

I never would have gotten on the show without Seaweed. No, it's payback time.

Would you swim in an integrated pool?

I sure would! I'm all for integration. It's the New Frontier!

So, how you feeling about detention now?

I'm a bad bad girl who needs to be punished.

And what are YOU doing here?

I'm here to audition for Corny. My name is Tracy Turnblad, and, like you, I go to Patterson Park High.

I'm sorry, Prudy Pingleton, but there were some extra charges. Some of your personal stains required pounding on a rock.

I'm home!! Move it Teddy I've got the TV!

Penny: May I also come check it out? Seaweed: You surely may.

I've never been to North Avenue before.

White Day is everyday. Ya gotta get more specific than that!

Is tomorrow specific enough? Think- It's Mother Daughter Day. Ms. Motormouth, you work for the station. They could never turn you and Little Inez away. And once the two of you break the barrier, we'll all be free to dance on TV together.

Imagine being invited places by colored people.

It feels so hip!

Ah, but time seemed to halt/When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs!

It's always been my childhood dream to dance on this show!

Tracy, this TV thing -- do you really want it?

It's my dream, Daddy!

Tracy. Look! It's Link!

Link Larkin. So near, and yet so gorgeous.

Alright, but remember, you gotta dance with your crowd and I gotta dance with mine.

Look, they're doing the Madison, my favorite!

It's just Eddie Fisher all over again.

Mama, don't tease. I really liked him. I've never felt anything like this before.

Wilbur! It was the kids I saw!

Mama, what are you doing here?

No!

Mother!!

An agent! I don't know any agents. How about a nice bail bondsman?

Mother, put that thing down. I'm taking my new agent to the Hefty Hideaway and then out on the town.

Who? Me? Tracy Turnblad, fame has gone to your head and left you wacky. You need a top-shelf professional. Who handled the Gabor sisters? Well, who didn't?

Mother, there's a great big world out there I know nothing about. When things get rough, a girl needs her mother.

And what did I tell you about that hair? All ratted up like a teenaged Jezebel.

Mother, you are so fifties. Even our first lady, Jackie B. Kennedy, rats her hair.

Motormouth: What else would you expect from...

Ms. Motormouth Maybelle!

Tracy Turnblad, you can give up all hopes of college. I'm putting you in Special Ed with the rest of these characters!

No college? Where do you go after Special Ed?

C'mon, I'm leaving and you gotta go too.

No! I want to do this, and so should you. It's what's right. Link, stay. Please.

Seaweed: You saying you and Link would be willing to dance with us on Negro Day? That WOULD be earthshaking! Link: Tracy...

No, we're not going to dance on Negro Day. *Link: Phew* Me: You're going to crash white day!

Wanna be one of the nicest kids in town? Cut school tomorrow and come on down to station WZZT to audition!

OHMYGOD it's the dream of a lifetime! I have to go audition!

Link: Try to act like a grown-up. Gym Teacher: Ha, ha! Special Ed! Ha, ha!

Oh, Link, if fate forces you to throw the ball at me today, seal it with a kiss.

Seaweed: And a rubber. No, I guess that's mine. Penny: He's so nurturing.

Oh, Link, this is my friend Seaweed.

Link: See ya little darlin. Penny: I'm sorry, Tracy.

Oh, mama... how could I think Link Larkin would ever care about someone like me?

Plastic little spastic!

Oh, no! I'm gonna kill myself! Look! She's wearing Link Larkin's council ring!

Hey, little darlin. Haven't we met somewhere?

Ohmigod, Link Larkin just spoke to me. I'll never wash this ear again.

Wilbur: That's my girl!

Okay. So this is how we're gonna do it: tomorrow, everyone bring your mothers...

Ow!

Ow!

Don't even think about going to that audition.

PLEASE!

My, how this town has gone downhill since I was crowned Miss Baltimore Crabs.

Phew! I thought we'd never get here. Stupid bus crash!

Penny *to Seaweed* Hel-lo!!

Seaweed, this is my friend, Penny Lou Pingleton.

To think, a beloved TV icon, the fruit of my womb!

So you're not mad?

Edna, you can be your own parade!

So, how about it, mama?

This is my sister, Little Inez.

Sure. I saw you at the auditions.

You're not helping, Wilbur!

Thanks, daddy.

Here's a little something-something signified to say, "Hello, my name's Seaweed J. Stubbs, and what's yours, baby?"

That's unbelievable. Can I do that?

Link: Tracy, you can't do this. You're new to the Council. You'll be blackballed and thrown off the show for sure.

That's why we're all gonna do it together.

Enough talk. We came to dance. Let's play some hide and seek! *music*

The dirty boogie!

Child, it ain't that easy. This ain't Parcheesi. What if they call the cops? People could get hurt.

Then we'll all walk out together. There's me, there's Link, and I'm sure we can get the others. Without dancers, they've got no show!

You keep your eye on Corny. This could be your big chance.

Then you better keep an eye on me.

Edna: Excuse me?

They'll never be able to shove them back out the door with us blocking it!

You're welcome, Kitten, to come and sit in.

This is just so Afro-tastic. Can I say how thrilled I am to meet you. I'm Seaweed's friend, Tracy.

Oh, this? I call this one "Peyton Place After Midnight". I use it to attract the opposite sex. *I DANCE* Fearless girl, you really got it going on.

This program's joining you already in progress. *beat* Oh my god! I just realized who you are! You dance on Negro Day!

Well, you better be careful what you wish for. Now start folding.

UGH.

You're just down with a case of Miss Baltimore CRAAAAAABSS! You're free to go.

Uh, thank you?

Not in Baltimore it isnt.

Um... where's Corny? I'd love to dance for him.

Congress!

Wah-hoo!

And inaugurate the newest member of our Council, Tracy Turnblad! Cozy up to old Corny and tell us about yourself, Trrrrace.

Well, I go to Patterson Park High, I watch your show, and I do absolutely nothing else! *applause* But someday I hope to be the first woman president of the world- or a Rockette. You got to think big to be big!

Little Inez: Are all white people like that? Wilbur: Naw, just most.

Well, I know how we can start changing things. If kids saw us dancing together on TV, they'd realize that we're not so different after all. We just want to have a good time.

What else have you got hiding in those Buster Browns?

Well, here's one I picked up in detention. It's called Peyton Place After Midnight. I use it to attract the opposite sex.

Don't worry, cracker boy, it's cool.

What do you think, Link?

Got a prayer for me, too? This game can get pretty vicious.

What is scatter dodge ball, anyway?

Detention is a rainbow experience.

What's that step?

Link: I can hear the bells!!

Where am I? Link?

You better? For a second there it looked like Teen Angel time.

Wherever I am, nobody change the channel.

How would you like Link Larkin to sing a song just for you?

Would I? Would I?

They're only dancing.

Yeah, we're dancing.

But sit... tell me, is fame everything you thought it would be? Are you happy, honey?

Yes, Mama. And I think I'm in love!

Yes, and put words on them!

You and Little Inez will walk in first. Me and Mama will be right behind you.

Not me.

You don't think segregation is wrong?

I'm sure he'll figure out he's crazy about you.

You have to say that. You're my mother.

Hey, thunder thighs, dodge this!!

You throw like a girl!

As in "Mr Pinky's Hefty Hideaway, Quality Clothes for Quantity Gals", that Mr. Pinky?

You want to hire me as your exclusive spokesgirl and fashion effigy? *to Mom* What's an effigy? *to phone* That's very flattering, but I'm afraid all business must go through my agent... It would be our pleasure! We'll be right over, Mr. Pinky. Goodbye!

Of course he does. His mom hosts the show.

Your mom is Motormouth Maybelle, the DJ? That makes you like royalty! Negro Day is the best. I wish every day was Negro Day