HDFS 334- Final Exam

Adoption (Adoptive parent): Determining best fit for adoption; not necessarily fastest - What are the Benefits of open adoption

- Must confront beliefs and fantasies about a child and acknowledge the reality long-term. Be realistic Beyond " I want a Baby". - An open adoption means that you can see the kids and are typically mildly involved.

Cline and Fay: Understand 1)"Let teens own their problems and their solutions" 2)"Neutralizing teen arguing keeps focus on them"

1) " the quality of my life depends on the decisions I make--Talk to your teens as adults- this shows them we expect them to take charge of things in their lives. 2) As the parent- tell the teen what you are going to do NOT what THEY are going to do. YOU will model for your teens the ability to resist useless bickering and compelling them to see that they need to take the consequences of the decisions they make!

Diverse Families: What are some of the positive attributes of step families (5 things) ?

1) can help with income. 2) There could be positive change in the transition! 3) Greater exposure to a wider variety of situations and lifestyles. 4) Increased standard of living. 5) Another type of support system.

Adoption (Adoptive parent): Importance of educating extended family and friends (4 items).

1) different levels of engagement. 2) level of acceptance. 3) Parenting Styles. 4) Attachment.

Adoption (Birth Parent): What are reasons for placing a child for adoption ( four items) ?

1) don't feel ready to be parents. 2) too young. 3) not financially stable. 4) pressure from parents.

Teen Parents: What are some protective factors that allow for positive trajectories for both the parents and their children ( 9 items) ?

1) have a support system: Own Parents, family, community, friends. 2) High self Efficacy! 3) Clear future orientation (ideas, goals, and dreams). 4) Low depressive symptoms. 5) Good problem solving skills. 6) Low risk Taking. No alcohol. No drugs. 7) Have Info regarding SEX and Contraception! 8) Staying in school! 9) Financial Stability!

Same Sex & Trans Parents: What are common challenges for transgender parents (2 items) ?

1) low support from the community! 2) Discrimination.

Arnett and Fishel: What is their view on the role of a parent in relation to making decisions about where to go to college ( three items) ?

1) offer emotional support. 2) be supportive, provide counsel and information when needed in regards to their child educational choices. 3) The emerging adult should be the ultimate decider on where they want to go to college.

Parenting Special needs: What is parental blame, family tragedy perspective, inability to develop, institutionalization in regards to historical views of children with disabilities?

1)Parental Blame: Parents caused and deserved Moral Blame for their child being disabled. Family tragedy Perspective: Believed this to be a family tragedy- there was "chronic sorrow"--grieve. 2)Inability to Develop: Believed that they were not a real person and hence did not have the ability to develop. 3)Institutionalization: Were institutionalized and were left there to die. These places were not regulated, there was no warmth, low nutrition, and there was no hope for positive orientation.

Diverse Families: How commons is the single parent structure?

24% of all US families are a single type of family structure! While we typically see women in the single parent structure, men (dads) are becoming more common.

Parenting Special needs: How can the following theories be applied to parenting a child with special needs? o Sense of Coherence Framework (5 steps) o Ambiguous Loss Framework * SHORT ANSWER Q*

3)Sense of Coherence (SOC): (5 steps) - Stressors (life events) are comprehensible, manageable, & meaningful. Look on the bright side! -SOC is correlated w/ caregiver satisfaction & less caregiver burden. Heavy weight Responsibility. - Mothers with a high SOC do not report higher levels of stress. -High SOC is correlated with parental confidence and child acceptance. -Accept your child for who they are! 4) Ambiguous loss Framework: A type of loss that's not clearly defined. Parents can sometimes feel grieve/mourning for an expected life. The child cant share the experiences you imagined for her, you mourn the loss of an imagined life.

Arnett and Fishel: What is the parents' role during the college transition?

be supportive, provide counsel and information when needed in regards to their child educational choices.

Cline and Fay: Be able to know the difference between a consultant parent drill sergeant parent

Consultant parent: This Love and Logic parent provides guidance and consultant services for children. Drill-Sergeant Parent: This parent commands and directs the lives of children.(Authoritarian parents)

Parenting Special needs: What were the shifts in treatment and perspectives due to federally mandated resources and treatment?

Disabled children became a bit less stigmatized. Now, they had some of a support from the government. Children were now allowed to go to school, and receive some support from the government.

Adoption(Birth Parent): what is the Grieving process?

Disenfranchised and Stigmatized Loss. Also Ambiguous loss. While the child is physically on the earth, you are not involved, and, are not a part of the process. - Can last for 5-7 years. -can be traumatic. -You grieve throughout life, especially during important holidays and birthdays.

Arnett and Fishel: What patterns do we see for children who move away? What are their relationships typically like? Why is this the case? *SHORT ANSWER Q*

First year blues. The first time children move out of the house we can expect to see them struggle but, it is very important to not intervene! give support only when absolutely necessary- this will lead to autonomy NOT dependence! Relationships between Parents and Emerging Adults improve! This is because now children understand their parents more, and don't see them as the bad guy.

Adoption(Birth Parent): What is "Second first child"?

Having your second child, but you actually keep them. Can be traumatic especially in an open adoption, when the child asks, "why did you keep him but not me?". Mothers who give their children up for adoption have kids rather quickly or never have children!

Parenting Special needs: What is the impact of Head Start?

In 1965, the HEAD start program provided HDFS education for families w/ low SES. This helped because they believed that both Nature and Nurture were able to teach parents and children about this "deficit" perspective, and what they could do to make it better for all parties.

Parenting Special needs: What was the Historical Context of being a parent to special need children (1 item) What about government action (4 items)?

In the US, children born with disabilities were considered to be: 1) A real person Government action: it was not until 1965, 1)when families began to be educated about disabled children. 2)Shifted to stress and coping methods (1980). 3)Baby DUE amendment (1984). Considered withholding treatment and neglect as ABUSE. 4) IDEA: All disabled children had to go to school, there was also free child intervention (1990).

Cline and Fay: Be able to know the difference between a laissez-faire parent helicopter parent

Laissez- faire Parent: permissive style in which parents avoid providing guidance and discipline, make no demands for maturity, and impose few controls on their child's behavior. Helicopter Parent: a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.

Adolescence: What is a goal-directed partnership look like?

Maintain relatedness while disagreeing on critical issues. Assure Adolescents feel understood.

Stiffleman (2009): What is Stiffleman's general view on what living mindfully means?

Mindfully: Try to be focused on being present, being still, and unwinding naturally with no electronics.

Stiffleman (2009): What strategies are discussed to help children "be present"?

Model behavior to your children! YOU sit outside. YOU put your phone away. When you connect with your partner and children be 100% engaged.

Adolescence: What is important to consider in regards to monitoring strategies for adolescents?

More monitoring- knowing where adolescents are, who they're with, and whats going on. This is associated with fewer problems. Make sure you don't begin to monitor your children excessively because then they'll just get better at tricking you. Appropriate: Trust and Respect. Excessive: being suspicious.

Arnett and Fishel: What is the empty nest?

Mothers and Fathers may go through a grieving process/period over their parenting "career" which has now ended.

Middle Childhood:How does parent-child attachment impact peer relationships?

Parent-Child Attachment Security is Positively Associated with good peer relations. A good attachment with parent is a must, for great peer friendships. Parents should intervene with their children's peers sooner, than later.

Same Sex & Trans Parents: What does the research say about *gay* fathers parenting practices specifically? Relationship qualities?

Parenting Practices: 1) Co-parent more equally in terms of childcare and household labor. 2) Yet one partner often does more. 3) The way labor is divided affects stability and and satisfaction over time. 4)Report Similar tendencies in arguments. Relationship Qualities: 5) Highest levels of Positive Discipline. 6) Least likely to Spank.

Same Sex & Trans Parents: What does the research say about *lesbian* mothers specifically in relation to parenting practices ( 3 items) ? Relationship qualities ( 2 items) ?

Parenting Practices: 1) Higher Rate of time is spent with children. 2) Parenting Styles are effective. Authoritative with lots of warmth and love. 3) less interest fostering conformity. Relationship Qualities: 1) Share Employment and Decision making is equal among-st parents. Parenting, Family, work, and housework are valued. 2) Higher Relationship Quality & Satisfaction compared to heterosexual couples.

Adoption(Birth Parent): what is Privacy versus secrecy?

Privacy: Knows they're Adopted. If the child knows they are adopted then its up to them who they tell. Secrecy: It's a family secret that you lock away and never tell anyone. - DOWNFALL: if the child finds out then this method will have detrimental effects on the child's self esteem and identity.

Adolescence: What is the relationship between quality time and teens school achievement and risk behavior according to research by Milkie, Nomaguchi, & Dennis (2015)

Quality time with family is a protective factor for adolescents. ex) Family Dinners. Quality time with both parents. Then the fewer behavioral problems. higher math scores in school, and less substance abuse.

Teen Parents: What are the risk factors for becoming a teen parent? ( 8 things) *SHORT ANSWER Q*

RISK FACTORS ARE CUMULATIVE! 1) Low income. They might not have access to resources that prevent pregnancy. 2) Maturing Early, may catch the attention of older boys. 3) OWN mom was a teen parent. 4) History of conduct problems. 5) Parental Instability. 6) Social Adversity/ High risk Exposure. 7) High Sexual Risk Taking. (lots of partners, lots of unprotected sex). 8) Low knowledge of Sex.

Stiffleman (2009): What is Stiffleman's view on the state of children's attention and ADHD?

Stiffleman believed that the nervous system can't get caught up because of constant stimulation from electronics, and hectic practices. This causes increased anxiety, restlessness, and reduced attention span.

Middle Childhood: Positive influences of structured and unstructured activities outside of school

Structured: boost self esteem. interaction with diverse children. prevent obesity. teaches perseverance, discipline, competency, and confidence. Unstructured: creativity. independence. self-love.

Child Maltreatment: define emotional abuse

Systematically shaming, ignoring, ridiculing, teasing, or shouting at a child. Isolating & scapegoating the child.

Middle Childhood: Be able to discuss what research has found about the concept of the "over-scheduled child"

The "over-scheduled child" indicates a child who feels as if they do not have enough time to do what they want. Research has found that the less time the child has for "leisure activities" the less likely they are to partake in risky behavior. Also, as the child got older, they reported less time to do homework, because, of so many other activities they were scheduled for.

Adoption(Birth Parent): What are the benefits of having concrete knowledge that their is child doing okay

The benefits are that: 1) you feel you made the right decision. 2) its important to feel like your child is well off.

Child Maltreatment: define neglect, also what are the 3 types of neglect?

The omission of the parent to provide for normal growth & development for children. There are three types of neglect: 1) Physical neglect. 2) Emotional neglect. 3) Educational Neglect.

Same Sex & Trans Parents: What are the outcomes for children of same-sex parents ( 5 items)? What are some differences ( 1 item) ? Unique benefits (1 item) ?

The outcomes are similar on measures of: 1) Psychological well-being. 2) Sexual Orientation. 3) Peer Relations. 4) Social & Behavioral adjustments. 5) Cognitive Development. Differences: 1) Children report LOW support from certain communities! ( report high support from parents) Unique Benefits: 1) higher social competence, resilience, and empathy towards marginalized groups.

Child Maltreatment: define sexual abuse

Unwanted Sexual Contact. Contact that is forced, bribed, tricked. There is usually an imbalance of power.

Parenting Special needs: define Eugenics

the science of improving a human population by controlled breeding to increase the occurrence of desirable heritable characteristics.

Adoption(Birth Parent): Understand the process and potential outcomes of a foster family for a young mother and infant

(PAVAO): Sometimes a foster family will take care of the young mother and child so that she may make an educated decision on putting her child up for adoption. They want to make this as realistic as possible, so she can decide if she truly is ready to be a parent.

Adoption (Adoptive parent): Grief and infertility in adoptive parent?

(PAVAO): Grief associated with infertility can persist after adoption. -It can be hard to be 100% committed in the adoption process because they want a biological child.

Diverse Families: Be able to discuss at least seven of Neuman's recommendations on how to discuss divorce with children ( seven items)

1) BE TOGETHER: when you tell the kids. In a comfortable place where you can talk and where they can ask Qs. 2) PLAN AHEAD: before you jump in so you have a clear path of what you are going to say. 3) GET TO THE POINT: get to the point rather quickly. 4) DON'T TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH: Don't tell your children that mom/dad cheated. Could possibly create hared. 5) DONT BLAME ANYONE: Dont blame either spouse and *especially* not the children. 6) SHARE/MAKE A PLAN FOR THE FUTURE: make a rough plan of how its all going to look, whats going to happen, etc. 7) ALLOW FOR SOMETIME BEFORE THE MOVE: Before one of the parents moves out, allows for a couple of weeks so the children get used to the idea. REMEMBER : Children and spouses are GRIEVING the loss of a family, a unit, traditions, and what they have always known. give them time!

Child Maltreatment: What are some warning signs and symptoms of sexual abuse in children (6 items)?

1) Bed-wetting or soiling themselves at unusual ages or abruptly. 2)Stained or Bloody underclothing. 3) Difficulty walking or sitting. 4) Excessive Fears at random times. Clinging. Want more connection. 5) Unusual, or, more sophisticated sexual behavior, or knowledge. This is a red flag, especially when it comes to sexual slang. The age of the child is important. 6)Begin to not take care of themselves. Stop Showering- protective mechanism.

Child Maltreatment: What are some warning signs and symptoms of neglect in children?

1) Begging or stealing food. 2) Hoarding food. 3) Constant Fatigue. 4)Poor Hygiene. 5)Poor Growth or Rapid Weight gain. 6)Running away from home. 7)Behavioral Extremes. 8)Inappropriate clothing for type of weather. 9)Poor school achievement.

Turner & Welch: What are five ways the lives of parents may be impacted due to an empty nest ( five things) ?

1) Change in roles/ Loss of roles. 2) Marital Impacts (positive or negative). 3) Career change, It will become more common to have multiple careers than just one. Keep busy. 4) Care-giving shifts, We begin to care for our own parents rather than our own children. 5) A new type of relationship with our new adult children!

Diverse Families: What are the factors related to divorce that can lower a child's well-being (5 things) ?

1) Declines in household income! 2) Poor psychological function. 3) Lower rates of contact with non-resident parent. 4) Continuing Conflict between parents. 5) Absence of Cooperative CO-Parenting.

Child Maltreatment: What are some warning signs and symptoms of emotional abuse in children (7 items)?

1) Delayed or Inappropriate emotional development. 2)Loss of self confidence or self-esteem. 3)Social Withdrawal or a loss of interest or enthusiasm. 4)Depression. 5)Headaches or Stomachaches with no medical cause. 6)Desperately seeks affection. 7) Decrease in school performance or loss of interest in school.

Parenting Special needs: What are key sources of parental stress when parenting a child with special needs (9 items)?

1) Diagnosis & adjustment: an array of emotions, the expectations they had during pregnancy all change. 2) The different parenting lifestyle: Child Symptoms and behavior. 3)Demands of care-giving. 4) Financial strain. 5)interference with other relationships or typical family functioning. 6)Feelings associated with having a child with disabilities. 7)Child safety. 8)Child's future. 9)Professional & support services.

Parenting Special needs: What are the protective factors for parents ( 8 items)?

1) Employment- if families feel stable, then the outcome is much better! 2) Health: being healthy is always better! 3) Supportive Partner 4)Early intervention- ask for help if needed! 5)Sense of Coherence: you know what to expect 6)Problem solving Strategies 7)Parental Confidence & Self Efficacy. 8)Child Acceptance!!

Teen Parents: What are the five general intervention approaches for adolescent parents?

1) Ensuring Teen-Parents Stay in School. ( counselors and certain programs can help!) 2) Addressing Parenting and Coping Skills. Have Coping Strategies for tough situations. 3) Improve medical and Psychological Health! 4) Support Unique Needs of both teen Parents and their own Parents! 5) Provide Early Childhood Education for At Risk Infants and Children. - Duration and Intensity of these Intervention Approaches matter.

Parenting Special needs: How can the following theories be applied to parenting a child with special needs? o Family System Theory o Minority Stress Model o Sense of Coherence Framework o Ambiguous Loss Framework * SHORT ANSWER Q*

1) Family Systems Theory: Circular Causality, The degree to which members of a family are mutually dependent on one another. Couple relationship quality (CRQ)<->Parental stress and well being<-> child behavior<-> (back to CRQ). 2) Minority Stress Model: Stigma, prejudice, & discrimination are the cause of many problems rather than the disability itself.

Diverse Families: What are some of the challenging factors for children and step parents ( four items) ?

1) Family boundaries and roles can be ambiguous. 2) Unrealistic Expectations about how quickly cohesiveness will develop. 3) Loyalty conflicts: There could be some sort of guilt in calling step-mom "mom" or step-dad "dad". Children did not want to divorce, so they may feel incredibly awkward. 4) Children are at an increased risk for emotional , cognitive, and behavioral outcomes, due to stress and instability.

Child Maltreatment: What are some warning signs and symptoms of physical abuse in children (10 items) ?

1) Frequent and unexplained injuries. 2) Avoid Explanation on injuries. 3) In pain, even though there is no evident signs. 4)wearing long sleeves in warm weather. 5) difficulty walking or sitting. 6)poor school attendance. 7)Fear of adults. or a specific gender. 8) Fearful of one of the parents, or both. 9)complains of harsh treatment. 10) finds reasons to not go home.

Harris (1990): "talking about Sex". Be able to discuss at least three of the topics that Harris believed were appropriate to share with children 7 and up using age appropriate language, as illustrated in the book.

1) Harris talked about Love and Sex. 2) Harris talked about A girls Period. 3) Harris talked about Sperm and eggs, and what happens inside the body when the two meet. Harris also believed that seven was a good age to talk to one's children about sex, because they understand a little more at that age, but are not old enough to feel embarrassed to ask questions.

Teen Parents: What are the risks/patterns from conception to postpartum in relation to prenatal care, stress and postpartum depression ( four items)? *SHORT ANSWER Q*

1) Inadequate Prenatal Care. ( 50% of women don't start getting care until they are in their 1st trimester). - they might not be able to drive to their appointment, parents don't know, Don't recognize the importance. 2) Baby can have serious consequences due to the lack of prenatal care. -Overstimulated pre-term baby, can cry a TON. 3) Situations and life events, can be perceived as more stressful. The Mothers can see these situations as being aimed directly at them which can make these situations incredibly stressful! -Stress can be more detrimental than alcohol or drugs. Cortisol affects both mom and baby. 4) Post-partum Depression is twice as high for moms under 25 years old! -depression hurts attachment in moms and children. - Depression is twice as high when father is not involved. -Depression is high if the pregnancy was unwanted and motherhood is dreaded.

Diverse Families: What are the risk factors correlated with single parents that may lead to these outcomes ( Four Risk Factors) ? How do they affect parenting??

1) Low income. 2) Poor Parent Mental Health. 3) Low Educational Attainment. 4) Low Social Support. These can all affect parenting, because stress is incredibly high! This can also lead to poor relationships between children and Parents!! Its also important to note: SOCIAL SUPPORT IS *HUGE* ! Social support can decrease the risk.

Diverse Families: What are children of single parents at risk for ( five Risky behaviors) ?

1) Low school Achievement. 2) Depression. 3) Anxiety. 4) Involvement in Risky Behavior. 5) Risky Sexual Behavior. ( Since one person is doing EVERYTHING, this leaves time for Risky Behavior).

Teen Parents: What are characteristics of teen mothers' parenting practices that put the child at risk ( 8 items) ? *SHORT ANSWER Q*

1) May have a lower level of child development knowledge. 2) Contributes to unrealistic levels of expectations in ones child. 3) Lacks knowledge of what skill sets they should have. 4) Poor self-regulation. 5) Less intellectual stimulation provided for infants. Less opportunities for exploration. 6) Less Face to Face interactions. 7) Higher rates of child maltreatment. 8) Neglect their children twice as often than older mothers.

Child Maltreatment: Be able to identify supports for abusive parents

1) Rehabilitation if possible. 2) Many include hands on assistance. 3) Home Health Visitors are effective. - help with housing, food, $$, mental health services, Family systems theory.

Same Sex & Trans Parents: What does the research say regarding parent-child relationships and development ( 1 item)?

1) Relationships from children are typically positive when transitioning, or when coming out.

Child Maltreatment: What are some risk factors and characteristics of parents who abuse?

1) Substance abuse/ alcoholism. 2) Economic Strain. 3) Mental Illness. (extreme form of depression) 4) Family Discord or Violence. 5) Low Child Understanding, Ineffective Parenting Skills. 6) Unrealistic Expectations. 7) Parents have a history of abuse.

Cline and Fay: Understand 1)"Gaining control through choices" 2)"V of love, avoiding control battles, when to give choices" * SHORT ANSWER Q*

1) Teens gain control by being allowed to make their own choices rather than being dictated by the parent. The more incremental freedom then the more self control teens can use to become adults. 2) V of love: Be the most restrictive when the child is young and increase their freedom as they get older. Virtually giving them full range in adolescence. Control battles: Avoid control battles at all costs. never take more control than you absolutely need to have.

Cline and Fay: Understand 1)"Sharing control through thinking words" 2)"Fighting words vs thinking words" Give Examples of thinking words and choices * SHORT ANSWER Q*

1) Thinking words and Sharing Control: Thinking words such as " no problem" help the parent and teen share control and avoid conflict. 2) Fighting vs. Thinking words: fighting words invite disobedience. Thinking invite teens to think about their actions and their consequences. EX) F.W: when you tell the teen what to do. F.W: When you prohibit your teen. "clean the garage NOW" T.W: What we WILL allow. T.W: What we WILL provide. T.W: What we WILL do. " you are welcome to watch what we are watching until it has finished, and then you may watch your show"

Cline and Fay: Understand 1)"Responsible teens feel good about themselves" 2)"Responsibility is caught not taught"

1) When a child is encouraged through consequences to make wise choices and productive decisions, a positive self- image will follow. Love and logic parents focus on being straight forward, encouraging, and thoughtful! 2) Responsibility is caught when parents share control with their teens. Encourage teens to think for themselves while we help their self-concept stay intact.

adolescence: What are the four additional emotion coaching strategies for adolescents? Why are they important ( four items) ?

1) accept that Adolescence is a time for children to separate from their parents. 2) Show respect for your adolescent. 3) Provide your child with a community of peers (know who these people are). 4) Privacy and individuation.

Arnett and Fishel: What is the boomerang generation and what are some reasons for it ( 7 reasons) ? How may it affect relationships within the family? *SHORT ANSWER Q*

Adult Children who live at home. Main reasons to come home: 1) Too Expensive to live alone! 2) Can't find a job right after college. 3) Gap year in between grad school or some transitional period. 4) An Early Divorce. 5) Deployment. 6) Too challenging to be independent. 7) Ambivalent about adult roles. Will affect the family either positively or negatively depending on how the PARENTS & CHILD interpret the situation. If the parents and child had a good relationship BEFORE the move, then it will most likely be fine. The relationship might even IMPROVE. (Vice versa for bad relationships) Might embarrass parents because: There is a stereotype and disagreement on moving back home. Or there could be disagreement!

Child Maltreatment: define physical abuse

An active hostile, deliberate & aggressive act towards a child, carried out by an adult. ( this is the one that is most often reported)

Adolescence: What do adolescents need in terms of attachment?

Attachment is still important in adolescence! A secure attachment and emotional contentedness with parents will provide a healthy transition into adulthood and autonomy.

Middle Childhood: In what ways does parenting impact school achievement?

Authoritative parenting is correlated with higher school achievement. Because they provide the belief that children are capable. They communicate more. Higher rates of Scaffolding in multiple areas. Secure attachment is seen in these parents.

Adolescence: Be able to explain authoritative parenting in regards to: Communication, connection, monitoring and control techniques/limits

Authoritative parenting is effective during adolescence. Communication: open communication is incredibly important. Both parties have to be willing to talk and listen to one another. Connection: Connection is ever more important, quality time over quantity time is much better! The more quality time is spent with the adolescent has been shown to be a protective factor. Monitoring: Continue to monitor your child. Know who they're hanging out with, when and where. Give them more freedom as they get older but still keep check. Control techniques and limits: Make sure you have AGE appropriate limitations. If they want another hour for prom, fine. If they get into a drunk driving accident the a more severe punishment. Never use your love as punishment.

Adoption (Adoptive parent): Using material from Pavao and the Saidman Adoptive Family Newsletter readings, be able to give one piece of concrete advice in each of the following 3 areas to a family considering adopting a. Whether to adopt a child of a different ethnicity and how to support ethnic identity as the child grows b. What to say to their adopted child about the adoption and the birth mother at both (3-5 years) and (6-8) years c. What they can expect related to attachment processes with their child *SHORT ANSWER Q*

a). Provide opportunity for the children to experience and be a part of their native ethnicity and country. -language-foods-traditions! b). 3-5: mild explanation about what it means to be adopted and about what a birth mother is, with out giving too much details on the small details. Let them ask questions if any. 6-8: You can begin to be more open with the child and go into more detail about what it means to be adopted, they will most likely have heard it by this point and could have more questions! c). This depends on the age of the adopted child. The older they are then the more attachment is affected but can be changed. The younger the child is, then attachment is up to the adoptive mom and dad.