Intepersonal Communication

Types of nonverbal communication

First, nonverbal behaviors may repeat verbal messages. For example, you might say "yes" while nodding your head. Second, nonverbal behaviors may highlight verbal communication. For instance, you can emphasize particular words by increasing your volume. Third, we use nonverbal behavior to complement or add to words. When you see a friend, you might say, "I'm glad to see you" and underline the verbal message with a warm embrace. Lyrics (verbal) often complement and reinforce music (nonverbal) as, for example, when a slow beat and soft music accompany lyrics about romantic love (Sellnow & Sellnow, 2001). Fourth, nonverbal behaviors may contradict verbal messages, such as when someone says, "Nothing's wrong!" in a hostile tone of voice. Finally, we sometimes substitute nonverbal behaviors for verbal ones. For instance, you might point to the left when asked to give directions. In all these ways, nonverbal behaviors supplement or replace verbal communication.

Selective Listening

Focusing only on selected parts of communication. We listen selectively when we screen out parts of a message that don't interest us or with which we disagree and when we rivet attention on parts of communication that do interest us or with which we agree.

Types of rules-regulative vs. constitutive

Regulative rules- Communication rules that regulate interaction by specifying when, how, where, and with whom to talk about certain things. Constitutive rules- Rules that define what communication means by specifying how certain communicative acts are to be counted.

Totalizing

Responding to a person as if one aspect of his or her life were the totality of the person.

Responsiveness

Responsiveness One dimension of relationship-level meaning that is often conveyed by nonverbal communication is responsiveness. Key to responsiveness is immediacy, which is behavior that increases perceptions of closeness between communicators. In face-to-face interaction, immediacy behaviors include smiling, making eye contact, head nodding, and attentive posture. Online, we may communicate responsiveness by using emoticons to convey feelings and by replying immediately to an instant message or to comments in a chat room. Researchers (Pogue & AhYun, 2006; Witt, Wheeless, & Allen, 2004) have demonstrated a strong, positive relationship between teacher immediacy behaviors and student motivation and affective learning.

How we select what to pay attention to

We select to attend to certain stimuli based on a number of factors. First, some qualities of phenomena draw attention. For instance, we notice things that STAND OUT because they are larger, more intense, or more unusual than other phenomena. So we're more likely to hear a loud voice than a soft one and to notice bright, flashy ads on the Internet than a black-and-white message. In the photo on this page, your eyes are probably drawn to the reddish-brown boots because they stand out from all of the other boots. Further, eyes aren't drawn to the soldier who isn't even visible as a whole person; eyes go to the boots instead.

Self monitoring (called monitoring in textbook)

the capacity to observe and regulate your own communication. Most of us do this much of the time without even thinking about it. Before bringing up a touchy topic, you remind yourself not to get defensive and not to get pulled into counterproductive arguing.

Definition of interpersonal communication from lecture

book definition-interpersonal communication A selective, systemic process that allows people to reflect and build personal knowledge of one another and create shared meanings.

Content and relationship level meanings

content meaning The content of, or denotative information in, communication. Content-level meanings are literal. relationship meaning What communication expresses about the relationship between communicators. The three dimensions of relationship-level meanings are liking or disliking, responsiveness, and power (control).

Dual- perspective and perspective-talking

dual perspective-The ability to understand both your own and another's perspective, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. First, be aware of the tendency to see things only from your own perspective, and resist that inclination. Second, listen closely to how others express their thoughts and feelings, so you gain clues of what things mean to them and how they feel. Third, ask others to explain how they feel, what something means to them, or how they view a situation. Asking questions and probing for details communicates on the relationship level that you are interested and that you want to understand.

Particular others and generalized others

particular others-One source of social perspectives that people use to define themselves and guide how they think, act, and feel; people who are especially important to the self. generalized other-One source of social perspectives that people use to define themselves and guide how they think, act, and feel; our perception of the views, values, and perspectives that are endorsed by society as a whole.

Maslows Hierarchy of Needs

proposed that we communicate to meet a range of human needs. basic needs must be satisfied before we can focus on those that are more abstract 1st basic level- Physical needs for survival (air, food, sex), safety and protection needs (shelter), Belonging needs (inclusion, fun), Self-esteem needs (respect), Self-actualization needs.

Transactional model of communication

represents communication as a process in which speakers and listeners work together to create mutual meanings -Encoding your thoughts and feeling into a intended message. -Constantly Communicating -Non-Verbal communication

Defintion of self-concept and identity

self-A constantly evolving, processual understanding of oneself that grows out of the processes of interacting with others and society and internalizing values and views of our identity that others reflect to us.

3 dimensions of relational communication

1) The first dimension is responsiveness, and it refers to how aware of others and involved with them we are. Perhaps you can remember a conversation you had with someone who shuffled papers and glanced at a clock or kept looking at a computer screen while you were talking. 2) A second dimension of relationship meaning is liking, or affection. This concerns the degree of positive or negative feeling that is communicated. Although liking may seem synonymous with responsiveness, the two are actually distinct. We may be responsive to people we don't like but to whom we must pay attention. We may also be responsive by glaring or scowling, which indicate we are attentive to the other person but we are not affectionate. 3) Power, or control, is the third dimension of relationship meaning. This refers to the power balance between communicators. Friends and romantic partners sometimes engage in covert power struggles on the relationship level. One person suggests going to a particular movie and then to dinner at the pizza parlor. The other responds by saying she doesn't want to see that movie and isn't in the mood for pizza. They could be arguing on the content level about their different preferences for the evening. If arguments over what to do or eat are recurrent, however, chances are the couple is negotiating power—who gets to decide where to go and what to do. In many relationships, power is imbalanced: teacher-student, parent-child, coach-athlete.

Guidelines for effective listening

1Be Mindful By now, you've read this suggestion many times. Because it is so central to effective listening, however, it bears repeating. Mindfulness is a choice to be wholly present in an experience. It requires that we put aside preoccupations and preconceptions to attend fully to what is happening in the moment. Mindful listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay to others because it conveys the relationship-level meaning that they matter to us. Being mindful requires discipline and commitment. We have to discipline our tendencies to judge others, to dominate the talk stage, and to let our minds wander. Mindfulness also requires commitment to another person and to the integrity of the interpersonal communication process. Being mindful is the first and most important principle of effective listening. 2)Adapt Listening Appropriately Like all communication activities, listening varies according to goals, situations, and people. What's effective depends on our purpose for listening, the context in which we are listening, and the needs and circumstances of the person to whom we are listening. When we listen for pleasure, we should be mindful and minimize distractions so that we derive as much enjoyment as possible from listening. When we listen for information, a critical attitude, evaluation of material, and a focus on the content level of meaning enhance listening. Yet when we engage in relationship listening, very different skills are needed. We want to communicate openness and caring, and the relationship level of meaning is at least as important as the content level of meaning. Thus, we need to adapt our listening styles and attitudes to different goals. Effective listening is adapted to others. Some people need prompting and encouragement to express themselves, whereas others need us only to be silent and attentive. Paraphrasing helps some people clarify what they think or feel, whereas others don't need that kind of assistance. We need to be skilled in a variety of listening behaviors and to know when each is appropriate. Recall from Chapter 1 that the ability to use a range of skills and to exercise judgment about which ones are called for is fundamental to interpersonal communication competence. 3)Listen Actively When we realize all that's involved in listening, we appreciate what an active effort it is. To listen effectively, we must be willing to focus our minds, to organize and interpret others' ideas and feelings, to express our interest on both the content level and the relationship level of meaning, and to retain what a speaker says. In some situations, we also become active partners by listening collaboratively and engaging in problem solving. Doing this is hard work! Recognizing that mindful listening is an active process prepares us to invest the effort needed to do it effectively. To listen mindfully, you may find it useful to paraphrase and use minimal encouragers. Both of these skills signal your interest and involvement with the person to whom you are listening.

Identity scripts

A guide to action based on rules for living and identity. Initially communicated in families, identity scripts define our roles, how we are to play them, and basic elements in the plots of our lives. Not the same as a script, which is one of the four cognitive schemata.

Johari's Window

A number of years ago, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham (Luft, 1969) created a model of different sorts of knowledge that affect self-development. They called the model the Johari Window (Figure 2.2), which is a combination of their first names, Joe and Harry. Four types of information are relevant to the self: Open, or public, information is known both to us and to others. Your name, height, major, and tastes in music probably are open information that you share easily with others. The blind area contains information that others know about us but we don't know about ourselves. For example, others may see that we are insecure even though we think we've hidden that well. Others may also recognize needs or feelings that we haven't acknowledged to ourselves. Hidden information is what we know about ourselves but choose not to reveal to most others. You might not tell many people about your vulnerabilities or about traumas in your past because you consider this private information. The unknown area is made up of information about ourselves that neither we nor others know. This consists of your untapped resources, your untried talents, and your reactions to experiences you've never had. You don't know how you will manage a crisis until you've been in one, and you can't tell what kind of parent you would be unless you've had a child.It is important to gain access to information in our blind and unknown areas. One way to do this is to expand our experiences by entering unfamiliar situations, trying novel things, and experimenting with new kinds of communication. Another way to increase self-knowledge is to interact with others to learn how they see us. We can gain insight into ourselves by reflecting on their perceptions.

Indexing

A technique of linking our evaluations of speech and events to specific times or circumstances, to remind ourselves that evaluations are not static or unchanging.

Self-fulfilling prophecy

Acting in a way that embodies expectations or judgments about us.

nonverbal communication as a substitute, compliment, or contradiction to verbal

Communication researchers have identified five ways in which nonverbal behaviors interact with verbal communication (Andersen, 1999; Guerrero & Floyd, 2006a). First, nonverbal behaviors may repeat verbal messages. For example, you might say "yes" while nodding your head. Second, nonverbal behaviors may highlight verbal communication. For instance, you can emphasize particular words by increasing your volume. Third, we use nonverbal behavior to complement or add to words. When you see a friend, you might say, "I'm glad to see you" and underline the verbal message with a warm embrace. Lyrics (verbal) often complement and reinforce music (nonverbal) as, for example, when a slow beat and soft music accompany lyrics about romantic love (Sellnow & Sellnow, 2001). Fourth, nonverbal behaviors may contradict verbal messages, such as when someone says, "Nothing's wrong!" in a hostile tone of voice. Finally, we sometimes substitute nonverbal behaviors for verbal ones. For instance, you might point to the left when asked to give directions. In all these ways, nonverbal behaviors supplement or replace verbal communication.

Social comparison

Comparing ourselves with others in order to form judgments of our own talents, abilities, qualities, and so forth.

Monopolizing

Continually focusing communication on ourselves instead of on the person who is talkingTwo tactics are typical of monopolizing. One is conversational rerouting, in which a person shifts the topic back to himself or herself. For example, Ellen tells her friend Marla that she's having trouble with her roommate, and Marla reroutes the conversation with this response: "I know what you mean. My roommate is a real slob. And that's just one of her problems! Let me tell you what I have to live with...." Rerouting takes the conversation away from the person who is talking and focuses it on the self. Another monopolizing tactic is interrupting to divert attention from the speaker to ourselves or to topics that interest us. Interrupting can occur in combination with rerouting—a person interrupts and then directs the conversation to a new topic. In other cases, diversionary interrupting involves questions and challenges that disrupt the speaker. For example, Elliot says that the Social Security will be bankrupt by 2030, and Paul responds by saying, "What makes you think that? How can you be sure? The President says we're fixing the system." Having interrupted Elliot, Paul might then reroute the conversation to topics that interest him more: "Speaking of the President, do you think he'll manage to get Congress to approve the changes he wants to make in national security?" Both rerouting and diversionary interrupting are techniques for monopolizing a conversation. They are the antithesis of good listening. The following conversation illustrates monopolizing and also shows how disconfirming of others it can be: Chuck: I'm really bummed about my Econ class. I just can't seem to get the stuff. Sally: Well, I know what you mean. Econ was a real struggle for me too, but it's nothing compared to the Stats course I'm taking now. I mean, this one is going to destroy me totally. Chuck: I remember how frustrated you got in Econ, but you finally did get it. I just can't seem to, and I need the course for my major. I've tried going to review sessions, but . . .. Sally: I didn't find the review sessions helpful. Why don't you focus on your other classes and use them to pull up your average? Chuck: That's not the point. I want to get this stuff. Sally: You think you've got problems? Do you know that right now I have three papers and one exam hanging over my head? Chuck: I wonder if I should hire a tutor. Sally shows no interest in Chuck's concerns, and she pushes her own conversational agenda. Chances are good that she doesn't even understand what he is feeling because she isn't really focusing on what he says; she isn't really listening. Monopolizing is costly not only to those who are neglected but also to the monopolizers. A person who dominates communication has much less opportunity to learn from others than does a person who listens to what others think and feel. We already know what we think and feel, so there's little we can learn from hearing ourselves!

Content and relationship level meanings (full book explanation)

Cultures vary in how much they emphasize content- and relationship-level meanings.In high-context cultures, less emphasis is given to content-level meaning and to providing specifics because communicators can assume that others share their collective knowledge. For example, in a low-context culture, a person might say to a coworker, "Let's get together to talk about our project. We can meet in my office at 2 today and you can bring the draft. I'll order some coffee for us." In a high-context culture, the message might be "Let's meet at 2 to discuss our project." In the high-context culture, the communicator assumes that the coworker will share cultural understandings about where to meet, what to bring, and whether there will be a beverage (Lim, 2002). Scholars have identified three general dimensions of relationship-level meanings. The first dimension is responsiveness, and it refers to how aware of others and involved with them we are. Perhaps you can remember a conversation you had with someone who shuffled papers and glanced at a clock or kept looking at a computer screen while you were talking. If so, you probably felt she wasn't interested in you or what you were saying. In Western culture, low responsiveness is communicated on the relationship level of meaning when people don't look at us, or when they are preoccupied with something other than talking with us. Higher responsiveness is communicated by eye contact, nodding, and feedback that indicates involvement (Richmond & McCroskey, 2000). A second dimension of relationship meaning is liking, or affection. This concerns the degree of positive or negative feeling that is communicated. Although liking may seem synonymous with responsiveness, the two are actually distinct. We may be responsive to people we don't like but to whom we must pay attention. We may also be responsive by glaring or scowling, which indicate we are attentive to the other person but we are not affectionate. Also, realize that we are sometimes preoccupied and unresponsive to people about whom we care. We communicate that we like or dislike others by what we actually say as well as by tone of voice, facial expressions, how close we sit to them, and so forth. Power, or control, is the third dimension of relationship meaning. This refers to the power balance between communicators. Friends and romantic partners sometimes engage in covert power struggles on the relationship level. One person suggests going to a particular movie and then to dinner at the pizza parlor. The other responds by saying she doesn't want to see that movie and isn't in the mood for pizza. They could be arguing on the content level about their different preferences for the evening. If arguments over what to do or eat are recurrent, however, chances are the couple is negotiating power—who gets to decide where to go and what to do. In many relationships, power is imbalanced: teacher-student, parent-child, coach-athlete. Usually both people in relationships like these recognize that one has more power, but sometimes the person who has less power challenges the person who has more. For instance, a student may question a teacher's authority, and a player may argue with a coach's instructions.

Punctuation

Defines the beginning and ending of interaction or interaction episodes. Punctuation is subjective.

Gendered speech communities

Games that are traditionally favored by girls, such as playing house and school, involve few players, include talk to negotiate how to play (because there aren't clear-cut guidelines), and depend on cooperation and sensitivity between players. Baseball and war, which are typical boys' games, involve more players and have clear goals and rules, so less talk is needed to play. Most boys' games are highly competitive, both between teams and for individual status within teams. Interaction in games teaches boys and girls distinct understandings of why, when, and how to use talk.Socialization in different gender communities accounts for some common misunderstandings between women and men. One such misunderstanding occurs when women and men discuss problems. Often, when a woman tells a man about something that is troubling her, he offers advice or a solution (Duck, 2006; Tannen, 1990; Wood, 1994c, 1996, 1998). His view of communication as primarily instrumental leads him to show support by doing something. Because feminine communities see communication as a way to build connections with others, however, women often want empathy and discussion of feelings to take place before turning to practical matters such as advice about solving a problem (Guerrero, Jones, & Boburka, 2006). Thus, women sometimes feel that men's practical responses to their concerns are uncaring and insensitive. On the other hand, men may feel frustrated when women offer empathy and support instead of advice for solving problems.

Hearing vs Listening

Hearing The physiological result of sound waves hitting our eardrums. Unlike listening, hearing is a passive process. listening A complex process that consists of being mindful, hearing, selecting and organizing information, interpreting communication, responding, and remembering. Listening is a very different process from hearing, which is simply a physiological action.

language allows hypothetical thought

Hypothetical thought is possible because we use symbols. When we symbolize, we name ideas so that we can hold them in our minds and reflect on them. We can contemplate things that currently have no real existence, and we can remember ourselves in the past and project ourselves into the future. Our ability to imagine possibilities that do not exist in the moment explains why we can set goals and work toward them.

Using responsible "I" language vs. "you" language

I language Language in which one takes personal responsibility for feelings with words that own the feelings and do not project responsibility for the feelings onto others. you language Language that projects responsibility for one's own feelings or actions onto other people. Not recommended for interpersonal communication.

I-it, I-You, and I-Thou Communication

I-Thou communication Fully interpersonal communication in which people acknowledge and deal with each other as unique individuals who meet fully in dialogue. I-You communication Communication midway between impersonal and interpersonal communication, in which the other is acknowledged as a human being but not fully engaged as a unique individual. I-It communication Impersonal communication in which people are treated as objects or as instrumental to our purposes.

Communication cometence

Interpersonal communication competence-Proficiency in communication that is interpersonally effective and appropriate. Competence includes the abilities to monitor oneself, to engage in dual perspective, to enact a range of communication skills, and to adapt communication appropriately. To comfort someone, we need to be soothing and compassionate. To negotiate a good deal on a car, we need to be assertive and firm. To engage constructively in conflict, we need to listen and build a supportive climate..Because no single set of skills composes interpersonal communication competence, we need to learn a range of communicative abilities.

Defensive listening

Perceiving personal attacks, criticisms, or hostile undertones in communication when none are intended.

Liking

Liking A second dimension of relationship meaning is liking. Nonverbal behaviors often are keen indicators of how positively or negatively we feel toward others. Smiles and friendly touching convey positive feelings, whereas frowns and belligerent postures express antagonism. In addition to these general rules shared in Western society, more specific rules are instilled by particular speech communities. Masculine speech communities tend to emphasize emotional control and independence, so men are less likely than women to use nonverbal behaviors to reveal how they feel. Reflecting the values of feminine socialization, women, in general, sit closer to others, smile more, and engage in greater eye contact than men (Hall et al., 2000; Reis, Senchak, & Solomon, 1985). With intimate partners, women are more likely than men to initiate hand-holding and touch (Atsuko, 2003; Knapp & Hall, 2006). Women also tend to be more nonverbally expressive of their emotions because that is encouraged in feminine speech communities. Nonverbal behaviors also tend to reflect feelings between marriage partners. Happy couples tend to sit closer together and engage in more eye contact than unhappy couples do. Furthermore, people who like each other tend to touch often and to orient their body postures toward each other (Guerrero & Floyd, 2006a; Burgoon et al., 1995).

ambushing

Listening carefully to an exchange for the purpose of attacking the speaker.Unlike the other kinds of nonlistening we've discussed, ambushing involves very careful listening, but it isn't motivated by a genuine desire to understand another. Instead, ambushers listen intently to gather ammunition they can use to attack a speaker. Krista listens very carefully to her teammate Carl as he describes a marketing campaign. When Carl finishes, Krista pounces: "You said we could get a rough draft of the whole campaign by the end of the month. You forgot that we lose 2 workdays for the annual retreat next week. Besides, your plan calls for some outsourcing. Where are you getting the funds for that?" Krista's response shows that she listened to Carl's ideas not to understand them and work with him but to identify weak spots and attack them.

literal listening

Listening only to the content level of meaning and ignoring the relationship level of meaning.s we have seen, all communication includes content as well as relationship meaning. When we listen literally, we attend only to the content level and are insensitive to others' feelings and to our connections with them. Lindsay's commentary provides a good illustration of literal listening that deals only with content-level meaningLiteral listening may disconfirm others. When we listen literally, we don't make the effort to understand how others feel about what they say or to endorse them as people.

How expectations affect perceptions

Our expectations also affect what we notice (Bargh, 1999). Imagine that a friend tells you she wants you to meet a "really cool guy. He's funny and considerate and so easy to talk to. I know you'll like him." It's likely that you'll expect to like the new person and will perceive the good qualities your friend has called to your attention. If instead your friend had said, "This guy is a real drag. He is totally self-centered and boring," then your expectations would be low and you would be less likely to notice any good qualities in the man. The impact of expectations on perception explains the self-fulfilling prophecy we discussed in Chapter 2. A child who is told she is unlovable may notice rejecting, but not affirming, communication from others. An employee who is told he has leadership potential is likely to notice all his professional successes and strengths and to be less aware of his shortcomings. Expectations influence perceptions in a range of communication situations. If you are told that a newly hired person is a "real team player," you're likely to notice the new employee's cooperative behaviors and be less aware of her competitive behaviors. If you hear that a campus group is "welcoming to new members and very friendly," you're more likely to perceive members of the group positively.

The process of human perception-selecting, organizing, and interpreting

Perception is the active process of creating meaning by selecting, organizing, and interpreting people, objects, events, situations, and other phenomena. Note that perception is defined as an active process. We do not passively receive what is "out there" in the external world. Instead, we actively work to make sense of ourselves, others, and interactions. To do so, we select only certain things to notice, and then we organize and interpret what we have selectively noticed. What anything means to us depends on the aspects of it we notice and on our organization and interpretation of those aspects. Thus, perception is not a simple matter of receiving external reality. Instead, we invest a lot of energy in constructing the meanings of phenomena. Perception consists of three processes: selecting, organizing, and interpreting. These processes are continuous, so they blend into one another. They are also interactive, so each of them affects the other two. For example, what we select to perceive in a particular situation affects how we organize and interpret the situation. At the same time, how we organize and interpret a situation affects our subsequent selections of what to perceive in the situation.

Communication Theory of Identity Layers (Personal, Enacted, Relational, Communal)

Personal Frame-A layer of identity, according to comm. theory of identity, that encompasses one's sense of self Enacted Frame-a layer of identity, according to communication theory of identity, where one's sense of self is performed to others Relational Frame-A layer of identity, according to comm. theory of identity, that is negotiated through one's relationships with others. Communal Frame-A layer of identity according to communication theory of identity, that is situated through identification with a shared group identity.

Types of noise in communication systems

Physiological noise is distraction caused by hunger, fatigue, headaches, medications, and other factors that affect how we feel and think. Physical noise is interference in our environments, such as noises made by others, overly dim or bright lights, spam and pop-up ads, extreme temperatures, and crowded conditions. Psychological noise refers to qualities in us that affect how we communicate and how we interpret others

Power

Power The third dimension of relationship-level meaning is power. We use nonverbal behaviors to assert dominance and to negotiate for status and influence (Remland, 2000). Given what we have learned about gender socialization, it is not surprising that men generally assume greater amounts of space than women and use greater volume and more forceful gestures to assert themselves (Hall, 1987; Leathers, 1986; Major, Schmidlin, & Williams, 1990). Status also affects tendencies to communicate power nonverbally. The prerogative to touch another reflects power, so people with power tend to touch those with less power. For instance, bosses touch secretaries far more often than secretaries touch bosses (Hall, Coats, & Smith-LeBeau, 2004; Spain, 1992). Time is also linked to people's status. People who are considered important can keep others waiting. How often have you waited for your appointment at a doctor's office? People with high status can also be late to appointments and events without risking serious repercussions. Yet, if someone with lower power is late, she or he may suffer disapproval, penalties, or cancellation of the appointment.mc

Pseudolistening

Pretending to listenWhen we pseudolisten, we appear to be attentive, but really our minds are elsewhere. We engage in pseudolistening when we want to appear conscientious, although we really aren't interested or when we are familiar with what is being said so do not need to give concentrated attention (O'Keefe, 2002). Sometimes we pseudolisten because we don't want to hurt someone who is sharing experiences

Principles of interpersonal communication

Principles of Communication • We cannot not communicate. o We are constantly communicating without intentionally doing so. • Interpersonal communication is irreversible. • Interpersonal communication involves ethical choices. • People construct meanings in interpersonal communication. • Metacommunication (communication about communication) affects meaning. o "don't take this the wrong way" • Interpersonal communication develops and sustains relationships. • Interpersonal communication is not panacea. Its not a cure all o "We just need to communicate more!" o not true, much more complicated than that • Interpersonal communication effectiveness can be learned

How language (or symbols) is/are abstract, ambiguous, and arbitrary

Symbols are arbitrary, meaning that words are not intrinsically connected to what they represent. Symbols are ambiguous because what they mean isn't clear-cut. The term affordable clothes means different things to people who earn the minimum wage and to people who are affluentFinally, symbols are abstract, which means that they are not concrete or tangible. Words stand for ideas, people, events, objects, feelings, and so forth, but they are not the things they represent.

Fundamental attribution error (as the book defines it, not from lecture)

We've also discussed a second error in interpretation: the fundamental attribution error. This occurs when we overestimate the internal causes of others' undesirable behavior and underestimate the external causes, and when we underestimate the internal causes of our own failings or bad behaviors and overestimate the external causes. We need to guard against this error because it distorts our perceptions of ourselves and others. To reduce your chances of falling victim to the fundamental attribution error, prompt yourself to look for external causes of others' behaviors that you may not have thought of or appreciated. Instead of assuming that the unwanted behavior reflects another's motives or personality, ask yourself, "What factors in the person's situation might lead to this behavior?" You can ask the converse question to avoid underestimating internal influences on your own undesirable actions. Instead of letting yourself off the hook by explaining a misdeed as caused by circumstances you couldn't control, ask yourself, "What factor inside of me that is my responsibility influenced what I did?" Looking for external factors that influence others' communication and internal factors that influence your own communication checks our tendency to make fundamental attribution errors.

Preoccupation

When we are absorbed in our own thoughts and concerns, we can't focus on what someone else is saying. Perhaps you've attended a lecture right before you had a test in another class and later realized you got almost nothing out of the lecture. That's because you were preoccupied with the upcoming test. Or maybe you've been in conversations with coworkers and realized that you weren't listening at all because you were thinking about your own concerns.

Back-channel communication

a form of positive feedback comprised of verbal and nonverbal behaviors that signal that you're paying attention and understanding specific comments. back-channel cue examples eye contact, physical contact, hugs

Ways we learn about our self-concept- direct definitions, reflected appraisals, attachment styles (know the 4 styles discussed in class), identity scripts

attachment styles- secure, preoccupied, dismiss/avoidant, fearful

message overload

he sheer amount of communication we engage in makes it difficult to listen fully all the time. Think about your typical day. You go to classes for 3 hours. How much you learn and how well you do on examinations depend on your ability to listen mindfully to material that is often difficult. After listening for 50 minutes in a history class, you listen for 50 minutes in a communication class, followed by 50 more minutes in a business class. A great deal of information comes your way in those three periods. After classes, you read three texts from friends—you need to remember them and respond before the day ends. You start doing research on the Web and find more than 300 sites for your topic—how can you possibly process all the information they offer? Then you go to work, and your supervisor informs you of a new procedure. Feeling rushed, your supervisor describes the procedure quickly, and you are expected to understand and follow it. We often feel overwhelmed by the amount of information we are supposed to understand and retain. To deal with the overload, we often screen the talk around us, much as we screen calls on our answering machines, to decide when to listen carefully and when to attend more superficially (Todorov, Chaiken, & Henderson, 2002).

Relationship between language and culture

language and culture reflect eachother.Communication reflects cultural history, values, and perspectives. It also creates or reproduces culture by naming and normalizing practices valued by the culture. Calendars name days that the culture considers important. Are Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's Day, and Passover recognized on your calendars? Are Kwanzaa, Saka, Elderly Day, and Ramadan on the calendars? Most Western calendars reflect the Judeo-Christian heritage of the mainstream