Interpersonal Comm. 8

Masculine style of responding to conflict

- Are concerned with equality of rights and fairness; they adhere to abstract principles and rules. - Interact to achieve specific goals; they seek autonomy and distance. - Are less aware of interpersonal dynamics but focus on the goal. - Protect self-interest. - Attribute crises to problems external to the relationship. - Are neither self- nor relationship-centered. - Respond to conflict by often focusing on rules and being evasive until a unilateral decision is reached.

What to do during ego conflict?

- Return to issues rather than personal attacks. - Talk about a problem to be solved rather than a fight to be won. - Write down rational arguments to support your position. - Use I messages rather than you messages. - Avoid contemptuous verbal or nonverbal messages.

Conflict management styles (5)

- avoidance - accommodation - competition - compromise - collaboration

What to do during pseudoconflict

- check your perceptions - look and listen between the lines - be supportive rather than defensive (establish a supportive rather than a defensive climate for conversation) - listen actively

Power sources

1. legitimate power 2. referent power 3. expert power 4. reward power 5. coercive power

According to communication researchers Gerald Miller and Mark Steinberg, most conflicts fit into one of three classic categories

1.) pseudoconflict—triggered by a lack of understanding 2.) simple conflict—stemming from different ideas, definitions, perceptions, or goals 3.) ego conflict—which occurs when conflict gets personal.

Now that Jaxon is in college, he doesn't rely on his parents to do his laundry or clean his room. As Jaxon got older, he developed these skills and needed his parents less and less. This shows how power is __________. A. negotiated B. legitimate C. circumstantial D. expert

C

Our __________ primarily shape how we learn to express and manage conflict, and they teach life lessons about relationships that remain with us. A. teachers B. families C. friends D. cultures

B

On their first free weekend, Ben wants to go the theater because that would be more fun, but his wife wants to stay home and watch TV because that would be more relaxing. Their differences in ideas represent a type of __________. A. cultural conflict B. ego conflict C. pseudoconflict D. simple conflict

D

Politely making requests, suggesting alternatives, and summarizing areas of agreement are examples of __________. A. aggressive compliance-gaining strategies B. legitimate power C. power negotiation D. positive compliance-gaining strategies

D

When Beth's mom said her dress was cute even though it was clearly too short, Beth begins to clench her teeth. Beth is experiencing __________. A. intrapersonal conflict B. dialectical tension C. a feeling of entitlement D. a conflict trigger

D

conflict trigger

a perceived cause of conflict

interpersonal conflict

an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, or interference in the achievement of their goals

Expert power

based on a person's knowledge and experience. (asking someone for help with computers because they know more about them than you)

Reward power

based on another persons ability to satisfy your needs (money, gifts, affection)

Legitimate power

based on respect for a position that a person holds (ex. listening to what a police officer tells you to do)

referent power

comes from our attraction to another person or the charisma a person possess (we change our behavior to meet their demands/desires b/c we feel attracted to them)

The most frequent conflict triggers

criticism feeling entitled perceived lack of fairness more perceived costs than rewards different perspectives stress/ lack of rest

Interpersonal power

degree to which a person is able to influence his or her partner

interdepenent

dependent on each other; one person's actions affect the other person

The struggle spectrum

mild differences->disagreement->dispute-> campaign->litigation-> fight

Most common form of power in interpersonal relationships

reward power

When Mallory gets mad at her boyfriend, she avoids him and doesn't return his phone calls. What source of power does this represent? A. expert B. referent C. coercive D. legitimate

C-coercive

Feminine style in responding to conflict

- Are concerned with equity and caring; they connect with and feel responsible to others. - Interact to achieve closeness and interdependence. - Attend to interpersonal dynamics to assess the relationship's health. - Encourage mutual involvement - Attribute crises to problems in the relationship. - Are concerned with the impact of the relationship on personal identity. - Respond to conflict by often focusing mainly on the relationship.

What to do during simple conflict?

- Clarify your and your partner's understanding of the issues and the source of the disagreement. - Seek an underlying principle about which you both can agree. - Keep the discussion focused on facts and the issue at hand - Generate many options instead of just looking at one or two - Find the kernel of truth in what your partner is saying; emphasize where you agree

Power Principles

1) Power exists in all relationships 2) Power derives from the ability to meet a person's needs 3) Both people in a relationship have some power 4) Power is circumstantial 5) Power is negotiated

Conflict misconceptions

1. Conflict Is Always a Sign of a Poor Interpersonal Relationship 2. Conflict Can Always Be Avoided 3. Conflict Always Occurs Because of Misunderstandings 4. Conflict Can Always Be Resolved

Issue triage

identify the important issues and work on those first

Coercive power

involved the use of punishment to influence others (If you have a high need for physical affection, your partner might withhold that affection if you do not comply with a given request.)

Compliance gaining

taking persuasive actions to get others to comply with our goals

At the follow-up stage of a conflict, you should attempt to __________. A. deal with any lingering concerns B. examine hurt feelings C. try to manage the issue D. think about existing frustrations

A

It would be typical in a(n) __________ to want to respond by insulting the other person. A. ego conflict B. pseudoconflict C. complex conflict D. simple conflict

A

When Julia was having a disagreement with her college roommate, her mother told her, "Be a better listener and you shouldn't have any problems." What misconception about conflict does this represent? A. Conflict can always be resolved. B. Conflict occurs because of poor communication. C. Conflict is always a sign of a poor interpersonal relationship. D. Conflict should be avoided at all costs.

A

4 elements of interpersonal conflict (William Wilmot & Joyce Hocker)

1. an expressed struggle 2. between atleast 2 independent people 3. who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources or interference from others 4. and who are attempting to achieve specific goals

Which form of conflict is triggered by differences in perceptions or goals? A. simple B. pseudoconflict C. ego D. cognitive

A

Which of the following is an element of interpersonal conflict, according to communication scholars Wilmot and Hocker? A. incompatible goals or scarce resources B. at least two independent people C. acceptable solutions D. a hidden or latent struggle

A

Which of these students is demonstrating an ego conflict? A. Jenae told Liz, "You're such a sloppy roommate!" B. Lilly remarked, "You like it cooler, and I like it warmer." C. Jason said, "We can't go to both the football game and the movie." D. Cheryl said to Sarah, "I thought you meant you hated the green dress."

A

Before she left for college, Kenneth reminded his daughter that it is highly unlikely for her to agree with everyone about everything. Which misconception about conflict does this represent? A. Conflict can never be resolved. B. Conflict can always be avoided. C. Conflict is always a sign of a poor interpersonal relationship. D. Conflict always occurs because of misunderstandings.

B

Which stage of a relationship is taking place when differences become increasingly problematic and something seems to be wrong? A. resolution B. frustration awareness C. active conflict D. prior conditions

B

Which statement is most accurate concerning conflict in interpersonal relationships? A. Conflict plays a destructive role in every relationship. B. Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. C. Conflict always stems from a misunderstanding. D. Conflict can be entirely avoided with proper skills.

B

Conflict is considered interdependent because it __________. A. is created in a public environment and is recognized by others B. cannot be refuted C. stems from people who have an effect on each other D. is an individual act

C

What is the main trigger for pseudoconflict? A. a difference in ideas or perceptions B. the original issue being ignored C. missing the meaning of a message D. the disagreement getting personal

C

Which statement about conflict is defined as a misconception in the text, and therefore should not be believed? A. Conflict cannot always be resolved. B. Conflict is centered around differences. C. Conflict is always a sign of a poor relationship. D. Conflict is a normal and productive part of interacting.

C

Which term refers to the degree to which a person is able to influence his or her partner? A. conflict trigger B. dependent relationship C. interpersonal power D. attachment style

C

Jake's manager told him if he met his quarterly sales goal he would receive a $500 bonus at the end of the year. What source of power does this demonstrate? A. expert B. referent C. reward D. coercive

C-reward