Positive guidance

Here are a few examples of statements that communicate empathy:

"I understand. It is frustrating when something you've spent a long time building falls apart." "It's normal to feel disappointed after losing a game, but I hope you try again." "I know you are feeling excited about the start of our class celebration, but I need your attention for a few more minutes." "It's hard to wait for your turn for a tricycle. You are being very patient." "Sometimes, I feel sad when I have to be away from my parents. Is that how you are feeling?" "I notice that you both want to be the bus driver. You both have ideas about how a bus driver should act. How can we work this out?" "How do you think Arianna is feeling about not being included in the cheer group? How do you think it would feel to be excluded by a group of friends?"

Active listening skills include a set of behaviors intended to

Active listening skills include a set of behaviors intended to

Background knowledge of educational theory helps in important ways. With this knowledge, caregivers can establish:

Appropriate expectations: Child development theory informs us about behaviors that are typical and appropriate for children of certain ages. Appropriate actions: Child development theory helps us understand which practices are appropriate to use with children in certain age ranges and developmental stages.

Digging a little deeper, you can begin to see that children may be communicating their desire or need to either get or avoid:

Attention Tangible items Control Sensory input

In order to meet the basic goals of positive guidance caregivers should be encouraged to stick to a few basic principles:

Be a model. Respect the child. Offer choices. Focus on solutions. More action, fewer words. Get children involved. Focus on consequences, not punishment.

Nelsen asks caregivers to focus on encouragement, with special emphasis on the

Courage part

Positive guidance strategies include:

Defining limits and expectations (rules) Modeling Offering choices Redirection Providing positive reinforcement Using natural and logical consequences Providing safe self-calming and self-expression outlets Teaching social/emotional language Encouraging empathy Building capacity to manage wait-times, sharing, cooperating, etc. Providing developmentally appropriate curriculum Preventing troublesome situations

The concept of positive guidance has evolved from earlier attempts by educators to promote appropriate social behavior. Here are a few key examples:

Discipline Direction Classroom management Behavior management Positive discipline

Positive guidance methods arose in large part thanks to the work of a developmental psychologist named

Erik Erikson

Between the ages of 6 to 12, children experience the fourth stage of

Erikson's stages of psychosocial development: industry vs. inferiority.

In his book The Technology of Teaching, Skinner outlines what he considers to be the five main obstacles to learning, along with ways to remedy these problems:

Fear of failure. The task is too big. Lack of directions. Lack of clear directions. Lack of positive reinforcement.

In review, understanding child development theories can be extended directly to the early childhood classroom:

From Piaget, we learn to focus on developmental appropriateness. From Erikson, we learn the importance of developing self-esteem and independence. From Skinner, we learn the effect consequences have on behavior.

In order to overcome the obstacles to learning, Skinner suggests the following strategies for teachers. All of these strategies are in keeping with currently accepted practices in early childhood education, including positive guidance strategies, and are designed to keep the child motivated and confident:

Give immediate feedback. Break the task into smaller steps. Repeat directions as necessary. Work from the simple to the complex. Give positive reinforcement.

Several factors can impact children's developmental levels, including:

Home environment and culture. Exposure to positive and varied educational experiences. Health and diet. Temperament. Diversity of social encounters. Family and community involvement. Level of self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-identity. The presence of a psychological or physical disorder.

Erikson identified 8 specific stages within his theory of psychosocial development:

Hope: Trust vs. Mistrust (infant, birth to 18 months) Will: Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt (toddler, 18 months to 3 years) Purpose: Initiative vs. Guilt (preschool, 4 to 6 years) Competence: Industry vs. Inferiority (school age, 7 to 11 years) Fidelity: Identity vs. Role Confusion (adolescence, 12 to 19 years) Love: Intimacy vs. Isolation (young adult, 20 to 34 years) Care: Generativity vs. Stagnation (middle adulthood, 35 to 65 years) Wisdom: Ego Integrity vs. Despair (senior, 65+ years)

For a young child, corporal punishment (or threats of corporal punishment) can make children feel:

Inferior and powerless Guilty or ashamed Worthless Outcast Confused Angry Rebellious

Communicating with empathy serves many purposes:

It encourages children to take the perspective of others. It helps children identify their feelings. It introduces emotional vocabulary and language. It acknowledges and validates children's feelings. It normalizes emotions, letting children know that it is okay to feel different emotions without shame.

the five criteria for positive discipline or positive guidance are:

It is kind and firm. It sends messages of belonging and significance. It is effective over the long-term. It teaches social and life skills. It helps children feel capable.

There are 2 important reasons that caregivers should be prepared to share positive guidance methods with parents:

It is likely that, at some point, most parents will approach a child's caregiver for advice or feedback regarding a particular issue. Whether they need help with toilet training, defiance, or eating habits, it always helps if a caregiver can offer useful, practical ideas. Whenever practical, it is helpful for children if they experience similar guidance methods at home and in school. Clearly, this is not always possible due to differing family values and circumstances.

All infants in the program need the opportunity to learn to rely on other people. This is accomplished by:

Meeting an infant's basic needs. Responding when the child cries or expresses discomfort. Providing love, affection, guidance, and security.

Active Listening Skills include:

Pay attention. Show that you are listening. Provide feedback. Defer judgment. Respond appropriately.

preschoolers are working to develop:

Positive social interactions. Listening and communication skills. Self-regulation skills.

Being proactive is the opposite of being

Reactive

Here is a list of changes that could make a difference in how children experience the learning environment:

Rearranging the physical environment: doing so can prevent overcrowding and accidental mishaps with block structures, which cause undue stress. Altering the daily schedule: doing so can provide more time for transitions, give children longer periods to engage in play (take initiative and feel industrious, remember Erikson?), and move through the day at a more relaxed pace. Making changes to how the curriculum is implemented: this will allow you to incorporate more engaging activities that challenge children appropriately, utilize large and small groups appropriately, and build on children's current knowledge and interests. Provide visual cues: doing so can give children clues to the steps of common daily routines, such as hand washing, which can keep children on task and reduce wait times. Modify daily routines: consider thinking outside of the box about routines, especially if they are stressful for you or the children. Put in place new ideas that improve the flow and cut down on stress and wait times. Create class rules/expectations with children and review them often. Teach children the steps to problem-solving during class meetings so that you can later encourage children to use the steps to problem-solving whenever problems arise. In addition to teaching steps to problem-solving, brainstorm a list of solutions to common problems that arise. Have children illustrate the tools and turn them into a class book that children can refer to often. Help children develop an emotional vocabulary, which is the language they will use to express their emotions safely. Teach children self-calming strategies, such as deep breathing and positive affirmations.

Self-regulation refers to the following important skills:

Recognize and manage own emotions. Calm down when upset. Express reasonable responses to situations. Recognize the emotions of others. Show empathy. Take on the perspective of others. Control impulses. Stop and think. Delay gratification. Manage attention. Maintain focus when necessary. Shift focus when necessary. Problem-solving. Identify useful strategies. Implement plans to solve a problem.

Positive Guidance Guidelines

Regardless of the action taken, be certain the child's self-esteem remains intact. Believe in the inherent goodness of children. Mistakes are opportunities to learn. Give as much responsibility to the children for their behavior as is appropriate for their developmental level.

To use positive guidance, caregivers must...

Regulate their own emotions. Practice effective communication. Be facilitators and guides, not directors or dictators. Understand the child's world and developmental appropriateness. Focus on solutions, not punishment.

Consequences are the

Results of actions

When conflicts are viewed as learning opportunities, many skills can be taught and practiced:

Self-regulation and emotional awareness Language and communication skills Listening skills Empathy Respect for others Negotiation and cooperation

"The consequences of behavior determine the [likelihood] that the behavior will occur again." -B. F. Skinner According to behavioral theorist B.F. Skinner (1904-1990), if you are rewarded after a certain behavior, you will probably repeat that behavior. This may seem like common sense, but Skinner's research identified an important aspect of brain development.

Skinner is famous for his studies of operant conditioning, which involves the use of consequences to change behavior. There are two main consequences in operant conditioning: Reinforcement, which causes a behavior to be repeated with greater frequency. Punishment, which causes a behavior to be repeated with less frequency

The first two stages occur in the infant and toddler years:

Stage 1, 0-18 months (infant), marked by children's development of either trust or mistrust. Babies build trust if their needs are met and if they are loved and nurtured. Trust encourages children to explore and reach out to others; it is the basis of self-identity and self-esteem. Stage 2, 18-36 months (toddler), marked by conflict between autonomy versus doubt. Children are fully mobile and more independent. They begin to assert their will (the desire to get what they want). Caregiver actions toward children either encourage autonomy or instill feelings of doubt.

When we take the point of view that behavior is a form of communication, we then have the opportunity to

Stop and Think before reacting to the child's behavior. This is important because our reactions can either escalate or de-escalate the situation.

Positive guidance

Teaches children to be responsible. Encourages independence and good decision-making. Builds self-esteem and self-knowledge. Develops social skills and promotes prosocial behaviors.

Functions of behaviors are often broken into 2 main categories:

To get something. To avoid or escape something.

there are a few critical elements of positive guidance that are worth highlighting as priorities. Let's take some time to explore:

Understanding Reinforcement and Punishment Being Proactive Communicating with Empathy

According to Dreikurs and Nelsen, the Four Mistaken Goals of Misbehavior are:

Undue attention Misguided power Revenge Assumed inadequacy (giving up)

There are four different ways to redirect children using:

Verbal instructions Physical prompts Visual cues Attention getters

Sometimes, it is better to help a child figure out what the logical consequences of an action might be, rather than imposing consequences. You can do this by asking a variety of questions:

What do you think might happen if you leave this toy here? What would happen if every child took toys home with them? What could happen if you throw sand at other children? Follow up with: How can we keep that from happening? You can also ask: Why do we have the rule about keeping our hands to ourselves? What do we do after we finish playing in the sensory table? Why?

We can ask ourselves questions, such as:

What is the child trying to tell me? What need or desire is not being met at this time? Has the child tried to communicate in this way before? If so, what was the outcome of that interaction?

Industry can be described, in this case, as

a sense of competence. At this point, children have had plenty of practice taking initiative. If these instances are successful and positively reinforced, children develop a sense of competence, which strengthens feelings of self-esteem and confidence.

Positive reinforcement involves the act of

adding/giving something (reinforcing stimulus) to promote the desired behavior moving forward. Giving a child recognition for being a good helper (reinforcing stimulus) after cleaning up (the desired behavior) is an example of positive reinforcement.

Piaget's second stage of cognitive development is the preoperational stage. The preoperational stage lasts from about

age two to age seven. One of the most important developments during this stage is the use of symbols, or symbolic thought, which means using one thing to represent something else.

Giving the child a choice instead of a command may be a better way to deal with the issue. Choices allow toddlers to

assert themselves, promoting independence while maintaining a caregiver′s authority.

Remember, children are working to develop important self-regulation skills, and children develop at their own pace. Specific methods will vary depending on individual needs, and teachers will need to

be especially flexible, patient, and attentive. In other words, teachers must practice self-regulation themselves, to effectively support children using positive guidance strategies.

Whether you are using positive or negative reinforcement, you want to focus on the

behaviors you want to see repeated. This is a challenging task, but switching your focus to recognizing desired behaviors rather than reinforcing undesired behaviors will make a big difference in your environment.

Self-confidence relates to a person's

belief in their own abilities. If you are self-confident, then you believe that you can successfully perform a given task.

The sensorimotor stage lasts from

birth to about two years old. As the name implies, the infant uses senses and motor abilities to explore and understand the world, beginning with reflexes and ending with complex combinations of sensorimotor skills.

In many cases, behaviors are a form of

communication, especially for younger children who have not yet developed the vocabulary to express themselves or the impulse control skills to use the words they have learned.

Schools, teachers, and the classroom environment are very influential on a child's ability to feel

competent and industrious vs. inferior.

Using these strategies consistently will

create an environment where children can develop self-regulation and problem-solving skills with the guidance of trusted caregivers.

NEVER offer children choices that you

do not want them to choose.

To encourage children, focus on their

efforts. Instead of saying, "You are such a good boy for picking up all the blocks," you can say, "Thank you for working so hard to pick up all the blocks. Now everyone can enjoy a nice clean play area."

Erikson's stages of psychosocial development outline typical

emotional and social milestones for all of human development.

Just as with most of the skills children learn,

empathy must be taught; introduced, demonstrated, and practiced.

The preschool teacher's goal should be to encourage children to

explore and experiment, take risks and make their own decisions (based on appropriate choices). These are the processes through which children build initiative, resourcefulness, confidence, and positive self-esteem.

The goal is to draw attention to behaviors you want to see repeated. In that moment,

find a child who is walking appropriately and give enthusiastic thanks. Or, the moment the runner takes a few walking steps, recognize them for using walking feet.

In effect, all the other goals of positive guidance are intended to lead to

good decision-making, a skill that children will use for the rest of their lives. This is achieved by allowing children to make choices and decisions regularly and experiencing the corresponding consequences of those decisions. If you recall, the list of positive guidance techniques included both offering choices and using natural and logical consequences.

preschool-age children also stand a chance of developing feelings of

guilt, including feelings of low self-worth and incompetence. This may occur if a child has not developed adequate trust in infancy and/or a sense of autonomy as a toddler.

The majority of today′s researchers, educators, and psychologists agree that corporal punishment is

harmful to a child′s development and ineffective as a guidance tool. Any time one person punishes another person, whether the punishment is physical, verbal, or isolating (such as sitting in the corner), the person punishing exerts power over the person being punished.

Consequences are intended to

help children learn to make better decisions in the future.

the purpose of positive guidance is to

help children make good (appropriate) decisions while feeling confident in their own abilities and ideas.

Proactivity occurs before behaviors occur. Reactions occur

in response to behaviors. Teachers will need to continue to be ready to react when situations arise in the learning environment. However, there are likely several opportunities for teachers to make changes to the program that will prevent behaviors from occurring.

If children are frequently unsuccessful in making and implementing plans or often fail to have positive interactions with others, feelings of

inadequacy and guilt can develop. This can also occur if a child often hears negative and discouraging messages from caregivers. Frequent scolding, criticism, and admonishing language can deter a child from taking initiative in the future.

Autonomy is also known as

independence or self-sufficiency. By the toddler stage, most children develop a desire for more independence. While they still need adult support, they are likely to insist on doing certain things by themselves, whether dressing themselves or carrying their own bag.

Choices build

independence, promote critical thinking, and empower children. Choices help solve conflicts and ease tensions.

NOTE: If a child is putting themself or others in danger, adults should

intervene immediately. Do not allow a child to harm themself or others as a form of natural consequence.

Punishment

is the act of adding or removing something to decrease a behavior in the future. Examples of punishment include: Corporal punishment (spanking) Forced isolation (timeout) Public reprimand (scolding in front of others) Private reprimand (pulling the child aside for a lecture)

If-Then and When-Then statements are

known as contingents. If one action is contingent, it cannot occur until another action has taken place.

When caregivers understand the skills that children are working to develop, they can put in place strategies and

learning opportunities that promote those skills. It can also relieve some stress when caregivers understand that many behaviors are linked directly to skills that children are missing, rather than outright "misbehavior" or defiance.

Perhaps the most important developmental leap children make during the early school-age years is the use of

logic and reasoning. Although these skills are not fully developed (and won't be until adulthood), children in this age group can, for example, analyze a problem by thinking in a step-by-step manner.

After moving through the first two of Erikson's stages, preschoolers should begin to take initiative, not only by initiating their plans and ideas but also by

making choices and taking responsibility for their actions. They will also take strong stands to assert themselves as individuals within the group or family. As they gain more experience and success in their planning and interacting with others, a sense of initiative is established, which promotes even more initiative-taking behaviors.

Self-regulation is the ability to

manage strong emotions, control one's behaviors, and return to a calm state after a period of stress. It is a skill we often see young children struggle with when they act impulsive and self-centered.

A calm, positive response from a teacher will help a child return to a

normal level of emotional regulation. A strong negative response from a teacher is likely to add more stress to the situation, which will escalate or extend the length of time the child experiences the emotional and/or behavioral response.

Punishment is intended to make children

pay or make amends for something they did. Children learn as a result of punishment. However, rather than learning how to avoid a problem in the future (as with consequences), punishment is more likely to teach feelings of resentment, shame, and how not to get caught next time.

Experts recommend using planned ignoring when a child engages in a harmless, but troublesome behavior. Unless the child

poses a risk to himself or others or causes a serious disruption in class, some behaviors are best ignored, to avoid paying attention to them and potentially reinforcing them.

Emotional literacy includes a number of important skills that

positive guidance techniques help to promote. It begins with the recognition of common emotions - their names and how they feel when we are experiencing them.

Offering choices is essential for

positive guidance. Remember that the children in your care are working through the stages of psychosocial development where the outcomes are either initiative vs. guilt and industry (competence) vs. inferiority.

Children build self-esteem through

positive interactions with people they trust.

Erikson's third stage of psychosocial development includes the

preschool and early elementary school years, ages 3-6. This stage is marked by feelings of initiative versus guilt.

The goal is for children to learn to use the calming space as a

problem-solving tool. Taking a break should not be seen as a negative consequence for bad behavior; the child is not being judged and sentenced for a crime.

Positive reinforcement involves the act of

providing something (reinforcing stimulus) to promote the desired behavior moving forward. Giving a child recognition for being a good helper (reinforcing stimulus) after cleaning up (the desired behavior) is an example of positive reinforcement.

Positive guidance strategies help teach children to manage their behaviors and emotions, rather than

punishing a child for failing to do so.

Positive guidance is not

punitive, meaning that it is not focused on inflicting punishment. Nor does it contain a rigid set of rules. Punitive approaches create an atmosphere of anger, frustration, and intimidation. Positive guidance creates an environment where children's learning, regardless of the pace, is honored and respected.

Empathy is the ability to

recognize and understand the feelings of others.

Successes should be highlighted, but even more important, adults should

recognize children's efforts, even if they were not 100% successful.

A proactive teacher is one who constantly

reflects on the events of the day, the curriculum plan, children's interactions, and the physical environment to identify things that can be modified to prevent challenging behaviors.

One of the key points to take away from child development theory, especially the work of B.F. Skinner, is the concept of

reinforcement. Reinforcement is an act that increases the likelihood that behaviors will continue in the future. It is the opposite of punishment, which is designed to decrease behaviors.

Positive guidance can be used as a tool to teach children important

relationship skills. Positive guidance techniques help children learn how to navigate social situations, read social cues from others, cooperate, and work well with others.

Negative reinforcement is the act of

removing something as a means of encouraging a behavior to continue in the future.

A consequence is a

result, effect, or outcome. It is something that happens as a result of an action or behavior.

A typical preschooler can work buttons and zippers on their clothing. They can take initiative as they

seek new activities and take care of their own basic needs.

Another goal of positive guidance is to ensure that, no matter what action you take as caregiver, the child′s

self-esteem remains intact.

Jean Piaget (1896-1980)

studied the development of cognitive abilities in young children. Cognitive abilities refer to how a person thinks, including the development of skills used for learning, reasoning, applying logic, language and communication, spatial awareness, and many others. Piaget's most famous work is called Cognitive Development Theory. He described cognitive development in stages. According to Piaget, early childhood (birth to age 5) involves the following two developmental stages: Sensorimotor Preoperational

Focus on the positive, such as

taking turns, completing an activity, cleaning up, cooperation, and using nice words. Never miss an opportunity to provide positive reinforcement for desired behavior.

Positive guidance is a way of interacting with children that

teaches them the skills they need to be successful members of the community.

Erik Erikson (1902-1994) was a psychoanalyst who focused on

the connection between personality development and social context (the quality and nature of a child's social interactions). Simply put, Erikson wanted to know how social interactions affect mental and emotional development in young children.

The development of trusting bonds with parents and other caregivers is

the earliest goal of positive discipline. Trust assures children that adults are there to protect and support them; trust also enables children to take risks and try to do things by themselves.

The young minds and bodies in the preschool classroom are ready to absorb experience and knowledge, they are ready to be fascinated and excited by

the world around them. Young children need teachers and caregivers who are willing and able to provide the positive guidance necessary to help them reach their full potential.

Positive guidance aims to teach children to be accountable for

their actions. That does not mean that children won't display challenging behaviors or act impulsively, but that when they do, they own it and make it right. It stretches to include keeping each other safe by managing behaviors.

Between ages 6 and 8, children have usually developed advanced motor skills. However, they may continue to be frustrated by certain tasks requiring fine motor skills:

they should certainly be able to feed and dress themselves, but tying shoes might still be a challenge for some.

Consequences should be natural and/or logical, meaning that they

tie directly to the action or behavior. For examples: Throwing a block results in the child having to pick a different learning center to explore. Two children pulling on a doll results in the doll ripping and being removed from the environment. Walking away from a favorite toy may result in another child picking up that toy and playing with it.

as they approach age 7 or 8, children have a better sense of

time and space. They also have a stronger understanding of cause and effect, not only in physical terms (What happens if I push this button?) but also in terms of the effect their behaviors and actions can have on others.

The consequences of certain actions are designed to help rectify the situation. If a child spills milk, the consequence is

to clean it up. If a child hurts a peer, part of the consequence is to help that person feel better by comforting them or apologizing for their actions.

Courage and risk-taking also come into play, and preschoolers need the opportunity to take these risks in order to

understand the limits of their abilities and the consequences of their actions.

During this stage, children should be introduced to activities that

use a variety of skills and strengths. This will allow children to discover their strengths and develop new interests. Successes should be highlighted, but even more important, adults should recognize children's efforts, even if they were not 100% successful.

Stress is normal and perfectly natural. We cannot avoid stress since we never really know what life will throw at us from day-to-day. However,

we can learn to respond appropriately and effectively to stress.

Positive guidance is an approach to

working with children that considers the physical environment, the emotional environment, children's development, adult expectations, and the learning opportunities that exist within every interaction.

Communicating with empathy refers to the ability to communicate

your understanding of another person's experience.