PSC 150: Relationship Science Midterm 2 Study Guide

Personal Characteristics

- A vertical attribute is a quality on which people can be ranked hierarchically. Physical attractiveness, health status, and income level are examples of vertical attributes, because having more of them is considered better than having less. - Personality is a vertical attribute, and everyone wants a romantic partner who has an agreeable demeanor. - we do tend to end up with partners whose personalities resemble our own, but plays little role in couple satisfaction. - More generally, people do not report being more attracted to individuals who they think have personality traits that they lack themselves - A horizontal attribute, in contrast, is a quality on which people can differ without being judged better or worse than anyone else. Food preferences, hobbies, political beliefs, and career choices are examples of horizontal attributes. - When it comes to similarity in a partner, we seem to care a lot more about horizontal attributes like background and interests than vertical ones. - thinking we are similar to our partners is a result of feeling good about the relationship, rather than a cause

who's monogamous

- Canada geese -serial monogamous - coyote - dikdik - sleepy lizards - gibbons - beavers - sea horse - titi monkies

Reciprocity and Selectivity

- Knowing you are liked by someone has a powerful influence on your attraction to that person, often more powerful than knowing about that person's traits and values. - being liked by someone you meet on a blind date is not always attractive; it depends on how selective that person is. Someone who would go out again with anyone is not as attractive as someone who is generally choosy . . . but who would be eager to go out again with you. - Together, these studies suggest that approval is most rewarding when we have some reason to take it personally

studying monogamy

- humans - wild animals - captive animals

Deena is studying a new species of primates in the wild. She observes a male providing extensive care for an infant. What might Deena conclude from her observation?

ANSWER: all of these are plausible conclusions based on her observations A) the infant likely belongs to that male B) There is a good chance that the new species is monogomous C) The female of the species is likely a similar size to the male Deena observed

which of the following is true of polygyny?

Answer: All of the above are true A) 84% of cultures allow polygyny B) in cultures that allow polygyny, wives complain and suffer from jealousy C) 5-10% of men in cultures that allow polygyny actually practice it

Why would it be adaptive to like people who are familiar?

Answer: both a and b A) If you encountered him/her before and he/she hasn't harmed you yet, he/she is probably safer than an unfamiliar person B) given that humans evolved in small groups, it was adaptive to 'love the one you're with' rather than to pine for a hypothetical ideal man.

Mark keeps obsessively checking his Facebook messages to see if his crush Allie responded. This kind of response is part of the ___ biological love system?

Attraction

Luis (a man) and Margot (a woman) are at a speed dating event. Luis says physical attractiveness is especially important to him when he decides if he wants to date someone. Margot says that financial security is especially important to her when she decides if she wants to date someone. After the event, which kinds of people are they most likely to be interested in?

Attractiveness and financial security will inspire Luis and Margot's romantic interest equally.

Which of the following illustrates a relationship effect? A) Berry thinks some people are attractive one day and unattractive the next day B) Sarah is a 10 C) James thinks that everyone is unattractive D) Andrea finds redheads to be especially attractive

D) Andrea finds redheads to be especially attractive

John and Kyle have recently become a couple. Indicate which of the following scenarios does NOT illustrate a principle of attraction that could explain why John and Kyle started to date:

D) Kyle's personality complements John's personality and vice versa, so that seemed like a natural match

Romeo ad Juliet have just met and don't know much about each other. They can't stop thinking about each other, and they decide to run away together . Which components of Sternberg's theory describe this love? A. passion B. intimacy c. commitment D. passion and commitment E, passion and intimacy

D. Passion and commitment

In which of the following scenarios would one expet to see the higest level of passsion? A. high stable intiamcy B. Low table intimacy C. declining intimacy D. Rising intimacy

D. Rising intimacy

romantic attraction

Feelings of infatuation, love, and emotional desire for another person. - the experience of finding someone desirable as a potential intimate partner, with or without a sexual element.

We cant ask titi monkeys how much they love their mates on a 1-9 scale. Instead, we can asses:

How close they prefer to be to their mate

which of the following is an example of an actor effect?

Jamie thinks everyone he has met since the quarter began is attractive

which scenario demonstrates companionate love?

Jojo respects how hard Jordan works and trusts that when he's away he is faithful to her.

The attraction classics

attraction: the desire to approach or be with someone - attraction research (1960's-1990's) uncovered a number of principles --> the evolutionary connection - an evolved tendency to respond favorably to individuals who pass the 'friend' vs foe' test A. familiarity: liking those we encounter frequently 1. proximity: being physically nearby "as every zookeeper knows, a nearly sure-fire way to het two members of any species to mate is to house them in the same cage" STUDY: Westgate west: housing at MIT in 1950 - dorms in MIT and surveyed students close friends - next-door neighbors: 41% - two doors down: 22% - opposite ends of hallways: 10% * also people who lived near stairways, and mailboxes the person who lived near were rated as closer friends. Virtue of here you loved influences who you are friends with Another example: Maryland State Police training academy - trainees assigned to seats alphabetically - alphabet predicted best friends (huge effect) - close friends: johnson with Jordan, not with blake or Yglesias, even though the separation was a few years. 2. Mear Exposure - people come to like stimuli to which they have been exposed repeatedly - the instant messaging study --> strangers were assigned to engage in a series of 15-minute chats - tended to report more attraction when they were randomly assigned to more chats. - the classroom study --> females posed as students in a large lecture class - women assigned to attend more classes were better liked B. Similarity: we like people who are similar to us - the strongest effect is on attitudes and values - much stronger effects for perceived than for actual similarity - no complementary effects C. Reciprocity: liking those who like us - research going back to the 1950's indeed found that participants liked people more after finding out that they were liked --> but the story with romantic attraction is more complicated - participants recall of falling in love experiences typically involve reciprocity - what about playing 'hard to get' - speed-dating --> dyadic reciprocity: liking that is uniquely shared between two people - positive dyadic relationship, I uniquely like you and you uniquely like me --> generalized reciprocity: the tendency for people who generally like others to be liked themselves - likers tend to be liked in return - negative generalized reciprocity: if I generally romantically like other people, I am generally less liked (people who are not selective or are desperate). - Evolutionary Recap --> ancestral humans lived in small groups --> you probably did not encounter many potential mates --> familiarity and similarity narrow the field to others who are 'safe' --> unique reciprocity can trigger infatuation by making you feel 'special' - the previous topics were all about the dyad --> ex, Jane is more familiar/similar/likable to mark but not to Lars - but are some people simply more desirable than others A. Ideal Partner Preferences - what are people looking for in a romantic partner - three categories of traits --> (1) Warmth/trustworthiness: understanding, supportive, considerate, kind, a good listener, sensitive - Would be good partners because they would be open to intimacy, commitment and likely to be successful parents --> (2) Attractiveness/vitality: adventurous, nice body, outgoing, sexy, attractive, good lover - partner would be healthy, have good genes, and ward off diseases. --> (3) Status/resources: a good job, financially secure, nice house, successful, dresses well - Would be a desirable partner because would be good at forming coalitions and hoarding resources, and earning the respect of other people. B. Physical Attractiveness 1. importance of attractiveness --> "beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of introduction" Aristotle - the computer dance study (1966) --> incoming college freshman randomly paired for a dance - the biggest predictor of desire to date the person was physical attractiveness (both sexes, rs= 0.7) 2. What is Beautiful is Good - our stereotypes about attractive people --> interesting and intelligent --> sociable and outgoing --> successful in career and love - What is beautiful is culturally good - In America: bold and independent - In Korea: concerned about others Attractive people are on average more popular, less lonely, happier, and they earn better salaries --> but most people lie to them more often C. What is attractive - is physical activeness 'in the eyes of the beholder' - in part. but there is a huge cross-cultural consistency in attractiveness rating 1. female facial features - baby faced -> large eyes --> small nose --> small chin --> full lips - mature --> prominent cheeckbones --> narrow cheecks --> broad smile 2. Male facial features ' - mature --> strong jaw --> broad forehead --> broad smile - 'baby faced' --> large eyes --> boy-ish 3. Face symmetry - when average faces together, we create a face that is more symmetrical and average out any other variations that we see across people to create something that looks like average or a schema for an average face. - suggestion: naturally doing this and building a schema of what the average person looks like, and we compare that face with the scheme prototype. - average faces and fluency: easy to process stimuli when they are close to our scheme; when we encounter faces that are close to the average, there is a feeling of fluency that comes with it and that is why we find it attractive. - Tend to like things to the extent they approximate the average. 4. Body Attractiveness - the attractiveness of bodies is more variable than facial attractiveness - industry pushes the ideal, with men's magazines putting more muscular men that are promoted, while women's magazines have men who are muscular but less buff. D. Matching: - people tend to date and marry others of similar attractiveness - why does it happen? --> people want to date attractive people, but rejection hurts --> the most attractive people pair off and are 'off the market' E. The Social Relations Model - who says you're attractive? --> actor effect: how much I think people are attractive ' no one is attractive --> partner effect: how much others think I am attractive --> relationship effect: how much do I think you are attractive above and beyond my actor effect and your partner effect? (somone who has a type- if I like redhead, then I will like any redhead) --> Error= how much I can't decide if someone is attractive or not. - how much should A have liked B --> A's actor effect + B's Partner effect - 1.2 + 0.8 = 2 - something else very important is going on --> the residual matrix: how much is each 'off' if we only count actor and partner effect? --> these are called relationship effect * as much (if not more) of the action takes place at the level of the relationship effect vs. actor and partner effects. - uniquel liking for something - Two forms of reciprocity: generalized reciprocity is the correlation between actor and partner effects tend to be negative. High after effect= low partner effect - Dyadic: correlation between all the pairs of numbers, expect to see a modestly positive correlation, so unique liking is reciprocated. How much do I unique like you and how much you uniquely like me. What happened? - we added relatonship effects - matching on attractiveness went down - it became harder to asses your value - in real life, relationship effects are bigger than partner effects (she's out of my league) - someone might thiknk you're a ten --> especially people get to know each other better initial impression contexts: - consesus on mate value is strong - competition is strong - assortive mating is strong as level of acquiatance increases long term acquintance contexts - consecnus on mate value is weak - competition is weak - assorittaive mating is weak Friends First Study --> freinds and got together right away (assortive mating effects are high) --> know each other for 6 months OR --> after 12 months: matching effects decarese the longer they get to know each other, more idiosyncratic pairs - when people are friends before getting toegther, this enables more mismatched pairs to get together, there is no evidence that the mistached pairs are more likely to break up. Spending more time getting to know each other enables more relationship effects to emerge. The longer you get to know people, the more time it gives relationship effects more to form. If you are not attractive, it gives people more time to realize that they may like you. Trade-off short term mating efforts vs long term reproductive effort - live fast, repdocude fast - live slowly, reproduce slowly - applies between AND within sex --> implication: most men could not have achieved repductive scuess using a shorter term strategy - so who uses a short term startegy --> attractive people

compassionate love

is experienced less intensely, and combines feelings of intimacy, commitment and deep attachment towards others. (eg. maternal love, friendship, parental love)

why is anthropomorphism sometimes a good thing?

it can lead reserachers to empathize with animals and improve their welfare

which of the following illustrates a trait-level predictor of attraction? A) familiarity B) similarity C) complementarity D) Kind

kind - you don't need two people, dyadic for it to work

separation study

remove the pair mate from the cage, 30 minutes of observation reunite the partners --> asses separation distress and reunion behavior --> can be used to characterize bond strengths - sound familiar --> Ainsworths Strange Situation

'Mate for life' vs serial monogamy

serial monogamy: animals choose a single mate each year but may choose different mates in subsequent years

imagine a dozen different people live in the same apartment complex. Research has shown that residents in the apartment complex are more likely to become friends with the residents who live near the building's mailbox center. Which principle of attraction is this a demonstration of?

the principle of proximity

The Brain

there are parts of the brain that are involved in monogamy - oxytocin- monkeys, humans and voles have it - many social animals have a similar hormone - peptide hormone and neurotransmitter - acts in the body and the brain Body - induces contractions during labor - release during nursing - released during sex Brain - All of the above - pair-bond formation

natural section would favor monogamy . . .

when females of a species are spread out over a large area

Self-Disclosure: Knowing and Being Known

- According to social penetration theory, the development of a relationship is associated with the kind of personal information partners exchange with each other. - The theory categorizes self-disclosures along two dimensions: breadth, or the variety of information shared, and depth, the personal significance of the information shared. - Several studies on social penetration theory have shown that we tend to like people who disclose personal details to us, and vice versa. - conversations are characterized by disclosure reciprocity: When one person shares something personal, the other person immediately shares something equally personal. - Common Topics Avoided by Partners in Romantic Relationships: state of the relationship, Activity outside the relationship, Prior romantic relationships, Conflict-inducing subjects, Relationship norms, and Negative life experiences. - Once two people are having a conversation, their relationship develops as a function of the breadth and depth of the personal information they exchange. The matching of self-disclosures propels a relationship forward.

Critical assumptions in the mechanisms of online dating

- One supposition is that people are good judges of which qualities described in an online profile will appeal to in person - a second premise is that comparing multiple potential partners side by side is an effective way to evaluate compatibility. - a third is that two peoples questionaries responses can, when paired with fancy math, reveal their underlying romantic compatibility.

google definition of monogamy

- The practice or state of being married to one person at a time - The practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner - The habit of having only one mate at a time

mate selection

- The process through which a committed relationship is formed.

Developing Commitment

- Thinking about turning points in this way suggests that a relationship can become more or less committed for reasons that have little to do with the enduring qualities of the two partners. - Factors that are entirely external to the couple, like when they graduate from school or what opportunities they are offered professionally, can lead to decisions that affect the future course of a relationship. - The difference between relationships that become committed and those that do not may lie in how couples respond to the choices presented to them.

How Much Does Appearance Matter?

- by far the largest predictor of attraction was good looks, for women and men alike - perceiving a partner to be physically attractive predicts greater romantic attraction equally for both genders. - The best-looking people on the site get much more attention than the least attractive ones. Men interested in women are relatively even-handed when rating women's appearance, judging equal numbers of women to be more or less attractive; but then they show an overwhelming tendency to send messages to the women they rate as the best looking. In contrast, women interested in men are relatively harsh when rating men's appearance, judging very few men to be at the top of the scale; but then they are far more willing to send messages to men they don't think are that good looking - matching phenomenon: people who are dating or about to get married tend to be rated as similar to each other in physical appearance. - In the context of finding a partner for an intimate relationship, physical appearance exerts a powerful pull. However, other opposing forces, such as the desire to avoid rejection and the desire to make a connection, can be equally strong.

current studies

- cognition - attachment in non-romantic relationships --> relationship transitions - reproduction - sleep - communication - speed dating - new methods!

captive monogamous animals

- easy to locate - known history- know information about the animals, for titi monkeys 8 generations back - lot of control - not necessarily naturalistic behavior

love styles

- eros: erotic love involves a lover who has a clear and inflexible ideal image of the physical form his or her partner should conform to. develops strong feelings for the other quickly, and prefers rapid self-disclosure and the quick escalation of intimacy. - Ludus: does not have a fixed image of an ideal partner, and prefers not to commit to any one relationship. While remaining emotionally distant from partners, the ludic partner feels comfortable ending relationships often after having already formed another, when it no longer suits his or her interests. - Storge: seems more mature and stable, attracted to individuals who share common interests and are affectionate rather to individuals who conform to a physical idea. very trusting and not overly needy or dependent, and are comfortable with the slow development of sexual intimacy. - Manic: combination or eros and ludus, and has desire to act on his or her feelings for a love object, but simultaneously does not want to commit emotionally to the partner. Obsessive preoccupation with the beloved, with little expectation that the relationship will last. - Pragma: pragmatic love, involves a combination of ludus and storge. chooses someone who is a sensible choice, someone that could likely make a good friend. - Agape: sense of duty and selflessness, love is not governed by feelings of attraction but by the will and can be given to anyone regardless of his or her appearance or personal qualities.

Monogamy isn't unique to humans

- fish, mammals, and birds have all independently evolved monogamous mating systems - 3-5% of the 5,000 known mammalian species are socially monogamous - under some ecological conditions, monogamy can have fitness benefits

maintaining love in the face of alluring alternatives

- good evidence that individuals in established relationships tend to perceive attractive opposite sex individuals as less appealing compared to their less committed or single compatriots. - some research suggests that people in established relationships pay less attention to attractive opposite sex individuals.

wild monogamous animals

- great opportunity to study naturalistic behavior in unmanipulated settings - animals are hard to find and hard to study --> migration --> neophobia: fear of new things - titi monkeys get scared when masks change color in lab --> uncertainty about identity - don't know how old, what sex --> lack of background information

Wait . . how do we know they are monogamous

- how do we define monogamy in a species that cant talk to us --> preference for partner --> distress upon separation --> amelioration of distress upon return of the partner --> biparental care (some species) --> territoriality (some species) - physiologically --> hormones and neurotrahsmitters --> brain region activation

objections to love is an evolved adaptation in humans

- how does the widespread adoption in many societies of arranged marriages square with the pair bonding thesis? - what about the widespread existence of polygyny (one man marrying more than one woman) - is this consistent with treating love as an evolved adaptation for commitment? - Third, why do people fall out of love so readily and often separate?

arranged marriage

- in collectivist cultures, mate choice has much stronger economic and political implications for the entire family and perhaps the larger community compared to individualistic cultures. - parents tend to emphasize the importance of good investment characteristics.

anthropomorphism in studying monogamy

- its easy to assume that familiar-looking behaviors have the same function in non-human species as they do in humans - it's easy to impose human concepts of morality on the animals we work with - 'wife beater' male - recess macaw - 'negligent' mother -- titi monkey mothers only nurse and give birth to the child - 'patient' father -- titi monkey fathers do most of the parenting - it's easy to do the reverse: explain human behavior by using the 'we're just animals' excuse

How Context Affects Romantic Attraction

- many people believe they are always attracted to the same types of people, what they actually find attractive in a potential romantic partner can vary across different contexts. - Sexual arousal inspired by a particular environment or experience can sometimes be mistakenly interpreted as signs of romantic attraction. - sometimes we are pretty poor at recognizing the source of our own excitement. It's easy to envision that the men on the suspension bridge were, at the time they were approached, probably more physiologically aroused than the men on the low bridge. - The men on the low bridge, not being aroused in the first place, were less likely to make this error, known as the misattribution of arousal. - misattribution of arousal: The tendency to mistakenly believe that physical or sexual arousal stemming from one cause is actually the result of another cause; a source of situational effects on romantic attraction.

romantic relationships are good for you (usually) and they promote reproductive success

- married individuals usually experience better health, and those who enjoy close relationships cope better with various stressors including bereavement, job loss and illness. Less likely to experience depression. avoidance of sexually transmitted disease. - the presence of such pathogens may have been a selection pressure for long-term pair bonding.

maintenance of love and intimacy

- miniating interpersonal trust: can count on current partners to meet fundamental needs and to facilitate important goals (dependability and faith in the partner). - more trusting individuals disregard or downplay what could be construed as negative relationships actions by their partners, minimizing the potential negative impact of minor partner indiscretions. - capitalization: sharing positive experiences with partners requires self-disclosure and open communication, creating both an opportunity for reliving the event as well as for partners to respond joyfully to each others positive disclosure.

the nature of love

- passionate love: a state of intense longing for union with another, a feeling that is aroused particularly in the early stages of a romantic relationship. - self-expansion model individuals have a fundamental motivation to grow and expand their sense of self- who they are as a person and how they fit into their social worlds. - when in love we produce elevated levels of dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin which produce happiness and even euphoria and trigger the release of hormones linked to sexual arousal. - passionate feelings are more frequent during the early stages of romantic relationships and generally show a pattern of decline thereafter. - the decline in passionate love over time is captured by the decline in frequency of sexual intercourse.

Passion and intimacy over time

- relationships with a lot of passion are also likely to have intimacy --> positive correlation - however, the time courses are very different --> intimacy builds over time in a relationship --> passion starts high and eventually fades - passion is linked to the rate of change of intimacy --> passion is the 'first derivative' of intimacy - love is an integral component of the pair bond --> sex and passion to bring two individuals together --> companionate love keeps them together A. Three biological love system - 1. Lust systems: estrogens and androgens --> an 'old' system in our evolution - 2. Attraction system --> reward seeking, craving (not specific to love) - low serotonin --> the obsessive compulsive features --> the intrusive thinking associated with the passionate love has features in common with obsessions -3. Attachment system: oxytocin and vasopressin --> the 'cuddle hormone' --> as hormones (in bloodstream) --> oxytocin linked to breastfeeding and bonding with infants - as neurotransmitters (in the brain) --> prairie voles pair bond for life --> they have a rich set of brain receptors for oxytocin and vasopressin --> blocking of brain receptors impairs the bond --> injection creates the bond B. Derogation of alternatives - the process of concluding that alternative relationship partners are unappealing or unavailable - Simpson et al., --> IV: dating vs non-dating --> Results: participants in dating relationships gave lower attractiveness rating --> specific to young, opposite target sex targets - suggesting that this is motivated reasoning to not think that there are good options out there and inspires less dissonance. - men may even derogate alternatives unconsciously by picking up fertility cues. - men become a bit more interested in women who are mid cycle when single, but when in a relationship, they are less interested. C. Does Love Last? - It can, but often it doesn't - years married when divorce occurs - most likely to break up, the riskiest time is early on, and after year 4, the likelihood of breaking up decreases. - modal timing of divorce: 4 years - but this does not mean that love is not adaptative - rather, the passionate component of love typically lasts long enough to wean a child --> after four years, people can be at greater risk for forming passionate feelings elsewhere

Ecological conditions of monogamy

- resources are spread out and or/patchy --> resources will only support a few individuals --> males can only monopolize one female at a time - females reproduce seasonally --> males can only monopolize one female at a time - offspring require biparental care --> either a precursor or consequence

titi monkeys

- small-bodies primates - live in territorial social groups - pair bonding and biparental care - hard to study in the wild - California National Primate Research Center colony

love as a commitment device: pair bonding in humans

- standard evolutionary explanation for the origin of romantic love is that it evolved as a commitment device to keep parents of children together long enough to help infants survive to reproductive age - our large brain necessitates being born in an exceptionally undeveloped state (to make it through the birth canal) - the unique abilities of human could only have evolved in tandem with a lot of heavy lifting of motherhood being picked up by others in the family, including the father. Without love, it is hard to see how humans could have evolved.

First Moves: Signaling Availability and Interest

- the difference between feeling attraction and starting a relationship lies in someone making the first move. - Mate selection in all primates begins with a sequence of three behaviors: those that alert potential mates to one's presence, those that establish one's gender, and those that express one's availability and interest in a relationship. - proceptivity: Anticipatory behaviors of receptiveness or availability, such as nonverbal signals, shown by one person to another to indicate that it would be acceptable to initiate a conversation.. - behavioral synchrony: They unconsciously mimic each other's movements

infidelity and divorce: is love meant to last?

- the fires of romantic love typically last about as long as it takes an infant to make it to about four, and so perhaps the argument that romantic love has evolved to meet this limited requirement.

prairie voles

- the most common laboratory- based models for social monogamy - Form pair bonds very fast - live fast, die young - rodents- they have tons of existing literature you can apply for prairie voles - many non-monogamous species (within voles) to compare to - bi-parental care - can study them in the wild also

Knowing What You Want in a Romantic Partner

- there was no correlation between what people said they wanted before and after the speed dating event. - The qualities people say they want in a partner do not strongly predict romantic attraction, suggesting that something about the interaction between two people, rather than their stable qualities, may be involved.

Unrequited Love

- unrequited love was, in fact, rewarding in three areas: - First, the would-be lovers believed the object of their attraction was exceptionally desirable, so the perceived capacity of the person to bestow rewards was very high. - Second, the would-be lovers believed that, although their feelings were not currently reciprocated, they probably would be eventually. Therefore, the cost of not being loved today might have been outweighed by the potential reward of possibly being loved in the future. - Finally, the would-be lovers strongly endorsed the view that simply being in love was rewarding in itself, even if their feelings were not returned. - Recognizing the appeal of changing someone's mind about you may help explain the phenomenon of stalking, or unwanted and disturbing attention from someone wishing to start, or continue, a romantic relationship. - The possibility that the objects of our affection are playing hard to get, the presence of hard to-read messages, and the hope that we might convince people who don't love us right now to love us in the future all help explain why unrequited love does not represent an exception to the reward theory of attraction after all. Unrequited lovers are, in fact, pursuing very desirable rewards. In contrast to other people, however, the rewards of attraction are, for the unrequited lover, more hypothetical than real.

preference test

- used to asses preference (or lack of preference) for an individuals mate - conducted in titi monkeys, prairie voles and seahorses * have a supposed partner and another stranger and let the animals tell us what they spend more time with

Sternberg's triangular theory of love

- vertices of a triangle: --> Intimacy: feelings close, warm - emotional investment (warm) --> Passion: drive towards romance and sex -motivated involvement (hot) --> Decision/ Commitment: deciding that one loves the partner and is committed to maintaining it over time - cognitive decisions (cool/rational) - intimacy only (like) - passing only (infatuation) - commitment only (empty love) - Intimacy and passion (romantic love) - intimacy and commitment (compassionate) - passion and commitment (fatuousw) - passion, commitment and intimacy (consummate love)

Why Appearance Makes Such a Difference

- we tend to assume that people who are physically appealing have other positive qualities as well

passionate love as a necessary condition for marriage . .

. . . is less important in Eastern cultures where people have arranged marriages.

Sternberg's traingular model of love

3 fundamental components: intimacy, passion and commitment. - intimacy: feelings of closeness or connection, considered the emotional components. - passion: largely motivational component of love - commitment: encompasses the decision to remain in the relationship over the short and long term. 1) nonlove: reflects the complete absence of intimacy, commitment, and passion. applies to casual acquaintances. 2) liking: a high degree of intimacy coupled with the absence of passion or commitment. typically experienced in friendships. 3) infatuation: strong feelings of passion, without intimacy or commitment. 'love at first sight' is linked to strong feelings of passionate arousal for someone that can arise spontaneously. 4) empty love: committed to a relationship but lacking any feelings of intimacy or passion. not uncommon in long-lasting relationships, abusive relationships, or the first stages of arranged marriage. 5) Romantic love: high levels of intimacy and passion but not necessarily commitment. have physical and emotional bond, (extramarital flings, holiday romances) 6) compassionate love: intimacy and commitment toward a partner with low levels of passion 7) fatuous love: las vegas marriages, a high degree of passion and commitment with the absence of intimacy. (whirlwind courtship) 8) consummate love: high degrees of intimacy, passion and commitment for each other (pinnacle of ideal love)

monogamy and polygyny

84% of known cultures allow polygyny. - in special circumstances polyandry (many men) can crop up as an option, such as when women are scarce or posses considerable economic power.

what situation will produce more 'matching' on attractiveness? A) A situation with big partner effects and no relationship effect B) a situation with big partner effect s and big relationship effects

A) A situation with big partner effects and no relationship effect

Which of the following illustrates error? A) Berry thinks some people are attractive one day and unattractive the next day B) Sarah is a 10 C) James thinks that everyone is unattractive D) Andrea finds redheads to be especially attractive

A) Berry thinks some people are attractive one day and unattractive the next day * inconsistency in responses

John and Kyle have recently become a couple. Indicate which of the following scenarios illustrates a principle of attraction that could explain why John and Kyle started to date:

A) John and Kyle share the same mutual friend who tells the two of them that the other is uniquely interested in going on a date. B) John recently decided to go to a Halloween party on campus. While waiting for his friend to arrive, he spots Kyle across the room wearing the same costume. The two talk and find out they have much in common. C) John and Kyle live in the same dorm, in fact, they're neighbors. After continuously bumping into each other, they decide to go on a date.

which of the following is true of matching effects?

A) people internalize their mate value by seeing who likes them and who rejects them C) in the real world, relationship effects are large, which decrease the size of the matching effect

companionate love

A. What is companionate love typical duration: --> relatively durable (less likely to decline over time) --> intimacy --> trust --> caring --> respect --> friendly sentiments B. Intimacy - involves (emotional) self-disclosure and partner responsiveness - core features of intimacy --> understanding: A's beliefs that B accurately perceives who A is --> validation: A's belief that B values and appreciates A's inner self --> Caring: A's belief that B cares about him/her A's disclosure or expression of something self-relevant feelings and info --> B's emotional and behavioral response --> A's reaction to B's response -> feels understood? validated or cared for? (Kevin and Brittany)

Passionate love

A. What is passionate love typical features include: --> swift onset --> relatively short duration (declines over time) --> idealization of the beloved --> cognitive preoccupation with (only) the beloved --> intense emotions based on how the person you love feels about you --> uncertainty/anxiety --> sexual desire B. Different Time Periods and Cultures - Supposed origin: 12TH century legend of Tristan and Isolde --> adultery form passions as a social construction - actual origin: the adaptive pair bond - study of 166 cultures across the world/time --> determining whether passionate love (not just lust) exists. 1. personal anguish and longing 2. love songs or folklore 3. elopement due to mutual affection 4. native accounts affirming the existence of passionate love 5. the ethnographers affirmation that passionate love is present - passionate love exists in 89% of cultures --> only 'no' in Sirino in east Bolivia --> since the study has been conducted, this account has been discredited - passionate love gained more exciting connotations during the Middle Ages - if a person had all the qualities you desired, would you marry this person if you were not in love with them. - in 1960's: 36% of men, and 75% of women said 'yes' or 'undecided' --> by the 80's below 15% for both sexes - across cultures --> 4% said yes in the US vs 50% in India/Pakistan - passionate love itself is not the recent innovation but rather the idea that passion is important to marriage. - distinguishing passionate love and sexual desire --> question: does sexual orientation circumsibe the class of individuals with whom one can people fall in love with - answer: not really sexual desire and passionate love are functionally independent --> one can fall in love without experiencing sexual desire - pop culture phenomenon: the 'man crush', the 'girl crush'

short term vs long term

A. strategic pluralism - two ways to achieve reproductive success - (1) find a mate who can invest in offspring --> a devoted mate and good parent (warmth/trustworthiness) - (2) find a mate with good genes --> an attractive and healthy mate (attractiveness/vitality) --> (status/resources could be a bit of both) By now, it would be clear why investment would be appealing - why is attractiveness appealing? --> fluency: average/symmetrical stimuli are pleasing to look at --> good genes: attractiveness is costly marker (i.e. a handicap) --> if you have genes that resists pathogens/disease attractiveness is your genes 'way of 'showing off' --> so attractiveness is an indicator of health and fertility Trade-off short term mating efforts vs long term reproductive effort - live fast, reproduce fast - live slowly, reproduce slowly - applies between AND within sex --> implication: most men could not have achieved reproductive success using a shorter term strategy - so who uses a short term strategy --> attractive people 1. sociosexuality --> orientation to shorter term vs. long term mating --> restricted = LT -> unrestricted= ST - competing for a lunch date: --> Short Term men use competitive tactics, derogation, and bragging --> Long Term men emphasize their own warmth and trustworthiness - nonverbals: --> ST men and women would lean forward and tilt their head (indicating romantic interest) 2. Fluctuating asymmetry - defined: the degree to which an organism's bilateral features (eg. ears, feet, hands) are discrepant in size. - less symetry= more susceptible to diseases, pathogens, - more symmetry in men: more desire for and more desired by women for short-term relationships. * women like men who are symetrical, but only for short term relationships. B. Menstrual Cycle effects - women may also engage in a trade-off --> short term sex with men with 'good genes' --> long term sex with men with 'good providers' - the short term sex should be strategic --> specifically when conception probability is high - about two weeks after a woman's period is when she is most likely to become pregnant - the scent of symmetry study: told men to wear some t-shirts and not to use scented products. Women were brought in and were told to smell them. Found that women preferred the scent of the symmetrical men especially when they are midcycle or ovulating. - the good genes the men are offering seem to be especially appealing at about midcycle. - during the lunch study: women tend to be most interested in the tough guys, who were jerks for short-term relationships when they are ovulating. attracted to 'good genes'.

Which of the following are NOT considered typical features of companionate love? A. swift onset B. freindly sentiemnts C. Trust D. Intimacy E. all of the above are considered typical features of companionate love

A. swift onset

Which of the following illustrates a partner effect? A) Berry thinks some people are attractive one day and unattractive the next day B) Sarah is a 10 C) James thinks that everyone is unattractive D) Andrea finds redheads to be especially attractive

B) Sarah is a 10

society X is characterized by an organizational structure in which men and women tend to occupy similar social roles. Which of the following is likely to be true

B) Sex differences in society X are probably small C) Society X probably has high gender equality

Which will make it more difficult to asses overall mate value A) A situation with big partner effects and no relationship effect B) a situation with big partner effects and big relationship effects

B) a situation with big partner effects and big relationship effects

Which of the following is NOT true of passionate love? A. it declines over time B. sexual desire is a necessary feature of passionate love C. people in the US are more likely than people in India to think that passionate love is essential in selecting a partner D. People in the US today are more likely than people in the 60's to think that passionate love is essential in selecting a marriage a partner

B. sexual desires is necessary feature of passionate love

Which of the following illustrates an actor effect? A) Berry thinks some people are attractive one day and unattractive B) Sarah is a 10 C) James thinks that everyone is unattractive D) Andrea finds redheads to be especially attractive

C) James thinks that everyone is unattractive

survival guide to online dating

Set Limits for Yourself - We all value having options, but too many can un-determine our ability to make good decision. Monitor Your Mind-set - Many studies in nonromantic domains have demonstrated that people are inclined to prioritize different qualities when they compare multiple options side by side—referred to as a joint evaluation mindset—than when they size up one specific possibility in isolation, known as a separate evaluation mindset. - Browsing profiles of potential romantic partners is also likely to trigger a joint evaluation mindset and cause others - When in an assessment mind-set, a person critically evaluates a specific option against available alternatives. - when in a locomotion mindset, in contrast, a person, focuses on a particular selection, such as a desirable mate, and pursues it vigorously. Cast a Wide Net - Rather than getting hung up on figuring out who has the most appealing profile, get past pro-file browsing as soon as you can and do not expect too much from that process in the first place. Stay open-minded to discovering the person you are meeting and whom you might end up falling for—and who might love you back. Communicate with Care - More prom-isingly, this study found no evidence that eager re-sponses were a turnoff; the faster the reply, the more likely that reciprocal communication con-tinued. If you sense a spark, don't play hard to get. Don't Bet on Matching Algorithms - a deeper problem is that decades of research suggests that the most important determinants of a relationships fate emerge only after the pair have met- factors such as the way the partners navigate interpersonal conflict, respond to unpredictable events together or share good news with each other. Ride the Tinder Wave -on the downside, making initial romantic decisions on mobile dating sites tends to be even more appearance-based than other forms of dat-ing, including traditional online dating sites. - On the upside, mobile dating circumvents three ma-jor failings of traditional online dating sites: the emphasis on studying profiles to assess compati-bility, the tendency for certain individuals to be deluged with offers from people they have not ex-pressed interest in, and the false claims about matchmaking algorithms Know What Works - ome aspects of online dating services are mar-velous. Dating sites provide access to potential sources of romance that might otherwise be un-available to their clients. They can transcend geo-graphical and social-network boundaries to an un-precedented degree. - These benefits may be espe-cially powerful for those people who need it the most—including those who are socially anxious, who have recently moved to a new city, or who have demanding schedules that limit opportunities to socialize.

although not obvious to the naked eye, Joey's left ear and hand are slightly larger than his right ear and hand. Travis' ears and hands are symmetrical. Cesilee finds that she is more attracted to Travis. One explanation for this effect might be

Travis is less likely than Joey to be susceptible to diseases

Features of Appealing Faces

When rating the photos of women, people tended to agree that women with large eyes, a small nose, and high cheekbones are especially attractive. - There is less cross-cultural consistency in opinions about men's faces, a wide smile and a broad jaw seem to be reliably attractive - Developmental psychologist Judith Langlois suggest that the features people find appealing are characteristic of average faces. They found that people rate computer-generated composites of many different photos to be more attractive than any of the individual photos that made up the composites. - Others suggest that what people find appealing is symmetry.

In which of the following scenarios would Justin most likely be romantically attracted to Kathy? A) Kathy generally likes others and uniquely likes Justin B) Kathy generally likes others C) Kathy uniquely likes Justin D) Kathy generally likes others and uniquely likes Justin's best friend

answer: Kathy uniquely likes Justin

little married animals

anthropomorphism: the attribution of human characteristics or behavior to a god, animal or object - anthropomorphism or our personal beliefs can . . . --> bias our research --> misunderstood behavior --> a monkeys smile which means submission but we may attribute it as smiling and misconstrue make our research better --> empathy can lead to better welfare - scientists advocate for the animals

evolutionary psychology perspective and attractiveness

beautiful people actually have it: within the realm of social interactions, people with good looks have advantages such as people tend to smile more and feel more positive when interacting with attractive people. Handsome men, in particular, have more conversations with women than less attractive men, and good-looking women get more dates and have more sex than less attractive women. - physical appearance can have a powerful influence on social interactions for both genders. - Being handsome or pretty no longer provides a cue to the physical health of a potential mate,

social role theory

biological factors (eg. child bearing, lactation, upper body strength) cause men and women to occupy different roles. - people develop characteristics relevant to their roles and seek complementary characteristics from mates --> prediction: if social roles were not gendered, 'evolved' sex differences would be smaller. - the magnitude of some sex differences vary with: --> the role of being the romantic approacher (rotate= approach) --> national indicators of gender equality --> as the gender empowerment of a given country is higher, then the sex difference the age difference went down. Want things that are more similar in things with more gender equality. - by changing which roles people are in, you don't see sex differences as dramatically. There is something about being in the approach oriented, seeking role that perhaps leads to this sex difference, in who is especially romantically amorous. - men typically want a partner who is younger and women want a partner who is older. - sex differences reflect people's ideas about what they like, not what they actually like. --> ideal partner vs speed dating partner --> physical attractiveness does predict whether or not someone will like someone, but there is no sex difference. physical attractiveness inspires romantic interest --> earning prospects is not a strong predictor, an there is no sex difference. You cant rely on people's ideas about what they like in a partner.

welfare

consideration for all aspects of animals well-being, including proper housing, management, nutrition, disease prevention and traetment, responsible care, human handling, and, when necessary, humans euthanasia. - complex and evolving field - animals reserachers have this in mind - Harlow- was unethical

so, what species will you use to study monogamy

humans - less control - large sample size - cheaper - we study humans to understand humans non-humans - more control - small to large sample size (depending on species) - expensive - we can study other species to understand humans or general principles * each requires different methods

biological and behavioral markers of love

love and mating behavior are guided by three district emotion systems: lust, attraction and attachment systems. Fisher also provides evidence suggesting that the behaviors related to each of these emotion systems are governed by unique sets of neural activities. - lust systems motivates individuals to search out sexual opportunities and is mainly associated with estrogens and androgens in the brain - the attraction system, however, directs an individuals attention towards specific mates, leads to the craving for emotional union with this person and is associated with high levels of dopamine and neropinephrine, along with low levels of serotonin in the brain. - the attachment system is distinguished by the maintenance of close proximity to a loved one, feelings of comfort and security with this person as well as feelings of emotional dependency . this systes is associated with oxytocin (for women) and vasopressin (form men). - adult romantic sexual love looks similar to the love between parent/caregiver and infants. - the similarity between the behavioral manifestations of parent-infant love and romantic love is consistent with the role that oxytocin plays in the formation of attachment bonds in both kinds of relationships.

society X is characterized by an organizational structure in which men and women tend to occupy similar social roles. Which of the following is likely to be FALSE?

men in society X want a very young partner

Definitions

monogamy- mating systems pair living- spatial arrangements pair bonding - psychosocial attachment

According to the Finkel et al., reading, what features of online dating actually helps people find a romantic partner

online dating websites provide access to a wider range of potential partners than traditional means of dating (eg. going to a bar)

which of the following is NOT true of the matching effect?

relationship effects make it easier to internalize ones own mate value

Link between passionate and compassionate love

romantic relationships typically contain a mix of both passionate and compassionate love, but the absence of compassionate love in particular can spell trouble for the long-term stability of a relationship. - relationship satisfaction is more strongly related to perceptions of compassionate than passionate love. imply that the strongest possible foundation for a successful marriage is friendship. - when intimacy shows relatively large and rapid increases, levels of passion will surge higher, and when intimacy levels remain unchanged over long periods of time, passion should dip lower. - increases in intimacy were associated with heightened feelings of passion and sexual activity.

Imaging, behavior and endocrine analysis of 'jealousy' in monogamous primate

stranger male and male subject's mate -- male subject - titi monkey and human brain look the same way in neuroimaging studies and showed jealousy urinary hormones - we can use urinary hormones to asses animal state --> estrogen and progesterone to monitoring estrus cycling in female monkeys - androgens to monitor spikes in territoriality or aggression - cortisol to monitor arousal/stress