Sociology 112 chapter 5 love and intimacy

Sternberg's Consummate Love

was a love type that had equal measures of passion, intimacy, and commitment that is satisfactory to both lovers.

Plato gave a test for true love

when he claimed that true love will endure over space and time, or when two people are not together for a while.

Romantic love is based on what

continual courtship and physical intimacy. Romantic lovers continue to date long after they marry or move in together.

Plato's definition of love

included a nonsexual relationship, that could include deep levels of trust and intimacy and could be found among many types of relationships (couples, families, friends, even strangers

Friendship love

includes intimacy and trust among close friends.

Committed love

is a love that is loyal and devoted. Ex caregiving

Deficiency Lover

is a lover who provides the basic level of needs for their partner while having their needs reciprocally met in a similar way.

Altruism

is a selfless type of love that serves others while not serving the one who is altruistic. Ex mother tends to sick child

Infatuation

is a temporary state of love where the other person is overly idealized and seen in narrow and extremely positive terms.

Attachment

is an emotional and social bind that forms between one person and another.

Obsessive love

is an unhealthy love type where conflict and dramatic extremes in the relationship are both the goal and the theme of the couple's love. Obsessive lovers live for storms and find peace while they rage.

Deceptive love

is formed when one or both partners either consciously or unconsciously mislead the other in an effort to dishonestly establish trust and intimacy.

first symptoms that you are falling in love

is that you begin to feel better about yourself when you are with the other person.

Criteria or realistic love

is the love feelings you have when your list of a potential mate's personal traits is met in the other person.

Agapé

is the love that is selfless, other-focused, and seeks to serve others rather than receive from others.

Love

is the physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual, or social affection one person holds for another.

Self-disclosure

is the process or revealing the true nature of oneself to another person. Once you or the other person open up and share something vulnerable you enter an emotional mine field of sorts.

Manic

lovers are horrified of being abandoned and simultaneously terrified by the vulnerabilities they feel when intimate with their lover. Ex make out Argue

A Being Lover

meets your aesthetic, intellectual and full actualization or human capacity needs while you reciprocally meet theirs in a similar way.

black widow/widower mode

there is calculated and precise deception designed to lure the other into a relationship for ulterior motives. The deceiver tricks the other in order to gain access to wealth, property, or even power.

Chapman spoke of how we express:

verbal love, love in physical touch, love through service, love by spending quality time together, love by receiving gifts given to us by those who love us

When is there a greater chance of developing intimacy?

when the other person self-discloses back to you, or reciprocates your efforts to connect.

Shop Talk

which is safe conversation about superficial things (places, time, weather, etc.).

Ludis

• is an immature love that is more of a tease than a legitimate loving relationship. •!trick their mates into believing that they are sincerely in love, while all the while grooming 1, 2, or even 3 other lovers at the same time.

Eros

• is the love of sensuality, sex, taste, touch, sight, hearing, and smell. • This love is often what we feel when turned on. Eros love is neither good nor bad.

Unrequited love

• is the result of one person deeply wanting and intimate relationship with another who simply is not interested and does not reciprocate. •Unrequited love is common among younger lovers who misread verbal and nonverbal cues and who often have yet to learn about their own love needs and wants.

Pragma

• love is the love of details and qualities in the other person. •satisfied and attracted by the other because of their characteristics

Storgé

• love is the love of your best friend in a normal casual context of life. • is calm and peaceful, surprising to some who might have simply hung out together at one point but suddenly discovered that their friendship deepened and became more important than other friendships.

Sexual or Passionate lovers

are focused on the intensely sensual pleasures that are found with the senses of taste, smell, touch, feel, hear, and sight. Sexual lovers lust one another and feel closest when together and being physical.

Intimacy

on the other hand is a close relationship where mutual acceptance, nurturance, and trust are shared at some level.

the catch and release mode

one partner lures the other in by pretending to experience all the romance and trappings of falling in love when in reality he or she is tricking the other person