TEST

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Love styles 1. Eros: A powerful passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically. a. An intense kind of love that may include spiritual, intellectual, or emotional attraction. b. Erotic lovers are likely to self-disclose early in a relationship, be very sentimental, and fall in love fast. 2. Storage: A comfortable love based on friendship and compatibility. a. Storage love tends to develop gradually and to be peaceful and stable b. Grows out of common interests, values, and life goals. 3. Ludus: Playful love, like a game a. Full of challenges, puzzles, and fun, but love is not take seriously. b. For ludics, commitment is not the goal, instead they play the field and enjoy falling in love.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Love styles 1. _____________: A powerful passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically. a. An intense kind of love that may include spiritual, intellectual, or emotional attraction. b. Erotic lovers are likely to _______________ early in a relationship, be very sentimental, and fall in love fast. 2. ______________: A comfortable love based on ____________ and ________________. a. Storage love tends to develop gradually and to be peaceful and stable b. Grows out of common interests, values, and life goals. 3. ______________: ______________ love, like a game a. Full of challenges, puzzles, and fun, but love is not take seriously. b. For ____________, commitment is not the goal, instead they play the field and enjoy falling in love.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Love styles 4. Pragma: Pragmatic or practical love. Pragma blends the conscious strategies of ludus with the stable, secure love of storage. a. Pragmatic loves have clear criteria for partners. b. Pragmas are likely to like online matching services and may also consider arranged marriages. 5. Mania: Typically unsure that others really love them, manics may devise tests and games to evaluate a partners commitment. a. Manics may obsess about a relationship and be unable to think about anyone or anything else. 6. Agape: Loving others without expectation of personal gain or return. a. Generous and selfless, they put a loved one's happiness ahead of their own without any expectation of reciprocity. b. Tend to be known as mother love.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Love styles 4. _______________: Pragmatic or ________________ love. Pragma blends the conscious strategies of _________ with the stable, secure love of ___________. a. Pragmatic loves have clear criteria for partners. b. ______________ are likely to like _____________ ______________ services and may also consider _________________ marriages. 5. _______________: Typically unsure that ______________ really ___________ them, _____________ may devise tests and games to evaluate a partners commitment. a. Manics may obsess about a relationship and be unable to think about anyone or anything else. 6. ________________: Loving others without ___________________ of personal gain or return. a. _______________ and ______________, they put a loved one's happiness ahead of their own without any expectation of _________________. b. Tend to be known as ________________ love.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relational dialectics 1. Opposing forces, or tensions, that are continuous and normal in relationships. --Although tensions are normal they can be frustrating if we dont label them as normal. --Only a problem when partners dont understand the dialectics and the tensions they generate

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relational dialectics 1. _____________ forces, or tensions, that are continuous and normal in relationships. --Although tensions are normal they can be frustrating if we dont label them as normal. --Only a problem when partners dont understand the dialectics and the tensions they generate

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Deterioration 1. Differentiating: (WE--> ME) --Needing to reestablish their individual identities. --Instead of OUR plans, differentiating focuses on what I want to do. 2. Circumscribing: Decreasing communication quality and quantity. --Communication between partners decreases in quantity and quality --Subtle hints of dissatisfaction grow more evident --Suppressing the true status of relationships. 3. Stagnating: (Going through the motions) --Partners behave toward each other in old, familiar ways without much feeling. --Performing the same conversations, hang out with the same people without any joy

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Deterioration 1. ______________________: (WE--> ME) --Needing to reestablish their individual identities. --Instead of OUR plans, differentiating focuses on what I want to do. 2. ______________________: Decreasing communication quality and quantity. --Communication between partners ___________ in ___________ and ______________ --Subtle hints of ___________ grow more evident --Suppressing the true status of relationships. 3. _________________: (Going through the motions) --Partners behave toward each other in old, familiar ways without much feeling. --Performing the same conversations, hang out with the same people _______________ any joy

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Deterioration 4. Avoiding: (Creating distance) --Beginning to create distance between each other --Expressing detachment, avoiding involvement, showing antagonism. Sig other as less important 5. Terminating: The ending of the relationship --Help a person learn about themselves and what they want out of a relationship.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Deterioration 4. _________________: (Creating distance) --_____________ to create ______________ between each other --Expressing __________________, avoiding involvement, showing antagonism. Sig other as ____________ important 5. ____________________: The ending of the relationship --Help a person learn about themselves and what they want out of a relationship.

Chapter 7 listening: 1. Mindless Listening: When we react to other people's messages automatically and routinely, without mental investment. --Listening to someone without interpreting their words 2. Mindful Listening: Giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive. --Tuning in fully to another person.

Chapter 7 listening: 1. _______________ Listening: When we react to other people's messages _______________ and _________________, without mental investment. --Listening to someone without interpreting their words 2. _______________ Listening: Giving careful and ______________ attention and responses to the messages we receive. --Tuning in fully to another person.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Deterioration (3) 1. Autonomy/ Connection: --The tension between the desire to be autonomous (Independent), and the desire to be close or connected (Dependent) --The challenge is to preserve individuality while also nurturing connection in a relationship. 2. Novelty (CHANGE)/ Predictability (STABILITY) --The tension between wanting routine or familiarity and wanted novelty in a relationship. --All of us like a certain amount of routine, but too much would be boring. 3. Openness/ Closeness --The tension between wanting open communication and needing a degree of privacy, even in intimate relationships. --Wanting privacy doesnt mean a relationship is trouble; it only means needs for openness and closeness

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Deterioration (3) 1. ___________________/ _________________: --The tension between the desire to be autonomous (__________________), and the desire to be close or connected (__________________) --The challenge is to preserve _______________ while also nurturing connection in a relationship. 2. _________________ (__________________)/ ________________ (_______________) --The tension between wanting routine or familiarity and wanted novelty in a relationship. --All of us like a certain amount of routine, but too much would be boring. 3. ___________________/ ___________________ --The tension between wanting open communication and needing a degree of privacy, even in intimate relationships. --Wanting privacy doesnt mean a relationship is trouble; it only means needs for openness and closeness

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Development 1. Initiating (First Romantic conversation) --Goals that show you are interested in making contact and to demonstrate that you are a person worth talking to. --The FIRST conversation: Exchanging open information, phone numbers. 2. Experimenting (Searching for common ground/ interests) --The beginning of searching for common ground, small talk through technology or face to face. (sense of humor/ trustworthiness) 3. Intensifying (verbal/ nonverbal notions of love) --Time of relational excitement --Expressing feelings directly (I LOVE YOU), spending an increasing amount of time together, asking for support/ doing favors.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Development 1. __________________ (First Romantic conversation) --Goals that show you are interested in making contact and to demonstrate that you are a person worth talking to. --The FIRST conversation: Exchanging open information, phone numbers. 2. __________________ (Searching for common ground/ interests) --The beginning of searching for common ground, small talk through technology or face to face. (sense of humor/ trustworthiness) 3. ___________________ (verbal/ nonverbal notions of love) --Time of relational excitement --Expressing feelings directly (I LOVE YOU), spending an increasing amount of time together, asking for support/ doing favors.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Development 4. Integrating (Identity of WE) --Beginning to take on an identity as a social unit. --Developing routines and rituals that reinforce their identity as a couple (Running marathons together, watching a movie every week, going to fav place) 5. Bonding (I DO) --Making symbolic gestures to show the world that their relationship exists. --Marriage, buying a home together

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. --Relationship Development 4. ___________________ (Identity of WE) --_________________ to take on an identity as a social unit. --Developing routines and rituals that reinforce their identity as a couple (Running marathons together, watching a movie every week, going to fav place) 5. ________________ (I DO) --Making symbolic gestures to show the world that their relationship exists. --Marriage, buying a home together

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. WHY WE FORM RELATIONSHIPS? 1. Appearance: Important in early stages of relationships --As much as we claim we shouldn't judge others on how they look. 2. Similarity: Can be validating, you can make fairly accurate predictions about others. 3. Complementary: When each partner's characteristics satisfy the other's needs. 4. Rewards: We often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them. (Social exchange theory) --Less costs, more rewards.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. WHY WE FORM RELATIONSHIPS? 1. ____________________: Important in early stages of relationships --As much as we claim we shouldn't judge others on how they look. 2. ____________________: Can be validating, you can make fairly accurate predictions about others. 3. ____________________: When each partner's characteristics satisfy the other's needs. 4. ____________________: We often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them. (Social exchange theory) --Less costs, more rewards.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. WHY WE FORM RELATIONSHIPS? 5. Competency: We like to be around people that have desirable skills and abilities. 6. Proximity: We develop relationships with people with whom we interact with frequently. --Talk to often 7. Disclosure: Sharing information about yourself all while satisfying reciprocity (Getting back an amount and kind of information to that which you reveal.

CHAPTER 9-Dynamics of Interpersonal relationships. WHY WE FORM RELATIONSHIPS? 5. ____________________: We like to be around people that have desirable skills and abilities. 6. ____________________: We develop ____________ with people with whom we ____________ with frequently. --_____________ to often 7. ______________: ____________ information about yourself all while ________________ reciprocity (Getting back an amount and kind of information to that which you _____________.

Chapter 7 listening: --Hearing: The process in which sound-waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain. a. Hearing is the starting point of listening but it could be diminished over time (Dont remember or care). --Listening: Receiving and responding to messages; turns sounds into meaning.

Chapter 7 listening: --______________: The process in which ________________ strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain. a. _____________ is the starting point of listening but it could be diminished over time (Dont remember or care). --_______________: Receiving and __________ to messages; turns sounds into meaning.

Chapter 7 listening: LISTENING CHALLENGES: 1. Information Overload: The sheer volume of information out there is overwhelming. 2. Personal concerns: Worried about things that are important to us rather than the messages others are sending. 3. Rapid thought: We think faster than we speak (Daydream, formulate other idea, rebuttals) 4. Noise: Physical and mental distractions (Ambulance siren, a hot room, your mood) --Sounds environment emotion

Chapter 7 listening: LISTENING CHALLENGES: 1. Information _________________: The sheer volume of information out there is overwhelming. 2. ________________ concerns: Worried about things that are important to us rather than the messages others are sending. 3. ________________ thought: We think faster than we speak (Daydream, formulate other idea, rebuttals) 4. ________________: Physical and mental distractions (Ambulance siren, a hot room, your mood) --Sounds environment emotion

Chapter 7 listening: WHY DO WE LISTEN? 1. To understand: to comprehend and retain information --Lecture, instructions, training 2. To evaluate: Judging the quality of the messages (Buying a car, political speech, news station) --How do you know if the person is giving you a good car 3. To build and maintain relationships: Mindful listening fosters strong relationships. 4. To help others: Offer advice assistance, expertise, guidance --Therapist, counselor, mentor, inspirational speaker

Chapter 7 listening: WHY DO WE LISTEN? 1. To __________________: to comprehend and retain information --Lecture, instructions, training 2. To _______________: Judging the quality of the messages (Buying a car, political speech, news station) --How do you know if the person is giving you a good car 3. To _________________ and _________________ relationships: Mindful listening fosters strong relationships. 4. To ____________ others: Offer advice assistance, expertise, guidance --Therapist, counselor, mentor, inspirational speaker

Chapter 7 listening: Components 1. Hearing: The starting point of the process, but can be diminished for some people. 2. Attending: Focusing on messages and disregarding physical/ mental distractions. 3. Understanding: Making sense of the messages (your knowledge) 4. Remembering: retaining what you heard. 5. Responding: Communicating attention and interest as well as voicing our own views.

Chapter 7 listening: Components 1. _______________: The starting point of the process, but can be diminished for some people. 2. _______________: Focusing on messages and disregarding physical/ mental distractions. 3. _______________: Making sense of the messages (your knowledge) 4. ________________: retaining what you heard. 5. _________________: Communicating attention and interest as well as voicing our own views.

Chapter 7 listening:FORMS OF NON LISTENING 1. Pseudo listening -- Pretending to listen 2. Monopolizing: --Redirecting focus; taking over the conversation and only focusing on yourself 3. Selective listening: --Listening to important parts only. --Only listening to the parts of the conversation that you like or agree with

Chapter 7 listening:FORMS OF NON LISTENING 1. _______________ listening -- _____________ to listen 2. ________________: --_______________ focus; taking over the conversation and only ___________________ on yourself 3. ________________ listening: --Listening to important parts only. --Only listening to the parts of the conversation that you like or agree with

Chapter 7 listening:FORMS OF NON LISTENING 4. Defensive listening: --Taking what people say as threatening, feeling attacked or criticized. 5. Ambushing --Using words to attack --Listening to attack the speaker 6. Literal listening --Ignoring context, only content --Listening only to the content and ignoring the relationship level of meaning

Chapter 7 listening:FORMS OF NON LISTENING 4. _______________ listening: --Taking what people say as ______________, feeling attacked or criticized. 5. _________________ --Using ___________ to ___________ --____________________ to attack the speaker 6. ______________ listening --Ignoring context, only content --Listening only to the content and ignoring the relationship level of meaning