The Games People Play (Cynic - Inferior & Guilty)

I...I...I

- egocentric - attention is always directed back to self - do not mind what the conversation is about - as long as it is about them - can manifest itself in hypochondria (overly preoccupied with health ) or paranoia ( persecution complex) - view themselves as the center of the universe

The Gossip

- example of "projection" - defeatists who can't measure up to their ideal self - "derogatory critique" (alder) - easier to tear down others than build up self - Ben Franklin -" to find out a girls faults, praise her to her girlfriends " - feel better about the self and make it easier to live with regrets

The Hedonist

- lives for pleasure above all else - want to have pleasure now and at expense of others - often rationalization involved > as justified compensation for difficulties in life - characteristic of immature / childish impulses that were never outgrown

Fragile - Handle with Care

-A regression to childhood (state of need/helplessness) -Feeling an inability to cope with life -Hypersensitive- send out signals to others to be treated gently- remarks/gestures often misinterpreted -Often get preferential treatment from others- not given responsibility or bad news

The Dreamer

-An escape game- use "fantasy" world to escape reality -Dream world often compensation for lack of success in the real world -"Neurotic fiction"- unhealthy daydreaming -Often find movies and stories provide material for future "escapes" -Need courage to accept their reality

Indecisive and Uncertain

-Can be from low self-esteem -A way to avoid mistakes- protect the ego -Can be from too many contradictory messages or from being overly criticized or embarrassed for past mistakes -Motto: "Nothing attempted, nothing lost"

Inferior & Guilty

-Conflict between ideal self and real self leads to self hate - Two sides of the same coin - manifest themselves in different ways - Guilt feelings usually produces submissive & conformist nature- surface in self depreciation & even self punishment - inferior feelings produce completion & aggression- try to prove themselves through rivalry three to produce rebels

The Problem Drinker

-Escape game from pain -Attempts to avoid/evade reality through narcosis -Often in those most vulnerable to stress -"Crutch" to be more social, less self-conscious, more confident, more outgoing, less reminded of one's difficulties -Not to deny genetic propensity for or biological/chemical nature of addiction

The Flirt

-Immature fixation with need for attention -Leads to "superficial" relationships- will not take risk of revealing self with any depth -Selfish game that leads to deceptions and over- preoccupation with self -Move from one to the next- afraid of real communication/commitment

Deluded by Grandeur

-May be example of introjection (take someone's good qualities & say you have them) -Tend to be "name droppers" or "grandstanders" -Have low self esteem but try to portray themselves as more important than they really are -Want to be remembered by some great deed that they did

The Dominator

-Results from repressed hostility -Example of Reaction Formation- feel out of control on inside so overly control others on outside -Example of Rationalization- justify their control of others as necessary -Tend to be selfish and thoughtless with those they are supposed to love

The cynic

-take out pains/disillusionment on everyone else -"demoralized unrealists" -negative about everything to prevent being hurt -use facile wit/sarcasm to hide disappointment -say things like, "they're all corrupt " and "you can't trust any1"