Writing a Narrative Application Essay 70%

Good description:

* Allows a reader to picture things clearly * Clarifies confusing or detailed events * Holds the reader's interest

Dialog:

* Helps show who characters are * Moves the story forward * Sounds like real speech

End

3. Explain why this person has had such an influence on you

Which sentences use description that holds the reader's interest? Check all that apply.

As I sped up, the pavement under my feet offered less and less resistance until I felt like I was flying. I heard the pop and hiss of eggs in a pan coming from the kitchen.

Read the concluding reflection from Kyle's essay. My infatuation with reading, ignited in the sixth grade, significantly changed my life. Ultimately, it was from my sixth-grade teacher that I learned the true power that lies between the covers of a book. It wasn't because she demanded we read or because she encouraged us to read or because she explained why we should read. It was because she opened the doors to reading and invited us into fantastic worlds we had never before experienced. Using books as her compass, she led the way, and all we had to do was follow.

To revise his reflection and make a stronger statement, Kyle should more clearly explain What effect reading had on his life

The purpose (why you are writing this narrative) is

To tell a story about someone I consider to be a hero

Chronological stories ________

Start at the beginning and move forward

Sequence of events

The way events are ordered in a text has an impact on it's plot structure

My grandfather used to spend hours telling me stories I loved to hear.

Which best revises the sentence above to make the writing more precise? When I was younger, I would spend entire summers on my grandparents' ranch. Every evening after dinner, Grandpa would tell me stories about what life on the ranch had been like for him when he was my age. I appreciated his stories because they let me get to know Grandpa better.

1 It may have seemed like an ordinary day to everyone else, but to me, it couldn't have been further from it. 2 Today was my first day working as a waitress at Pete's Pizza Haven, and I could not have been more excited. 3 In fact, I was so excited that I rushed to get ready much faster than I typically do. 4 "I'm ready to go!" I shouted, bouncing down the stairs and flying into the kitchen, where my mom was making breakfast. 5 "I have so much to learn and don't want to be late," I declared for emphasis. 6 My mom just grinned and placed a steaming plate of eggs before me.

Which should be added after sentence 6 to most effectively move the plot forward? I gulped down my food, grabbed my bus card, and pecked my mother on the cheek as I raced out the door.

Brainstorming

Who is this person? What qualities does this person share with a hero? What are some traits you especially admire about this person? How has this person influenced you? What story shows your POV about what makes this person heroic? How will this story show the reader what makes you a strong candidate?

Description is ________

Writing that portrays things in vivid, precise detail

Dialog is ______

Written conversation formatted with quotation marks

The reflection can:

* Show how the experience changed the writer * Offer an analysis of what made the experience memorable * Extend the experience to another area of the writer's life or to the world at large

Revising for precision means focusing on:

* Where you can add specifics * How you can strengthen your descriptions * Which vague words you can replace with more detailed and exact words

First paragraph

1. Introduce the person you are writing about. Start a story about the person (in the beginning or in the middle), but save the details for later

Middle three paragraphs:

2. Tell a story about your hero, using dialogue and description A. Show how this person is a hero to you B. Share an experience that had a deep impact on your life C. Explain the traits that you admire about your real-life hero

A reflection is _________

A part of an essay that explains how the experience was significant to the writer

The topic (what you will write about) is

A person you consider to be a hero

Which type of writing would best tell about your experiences with a hero in your life?

An essay that tells a story from a first-person point of view

Write a few sentences explaining what you think makes someone a hero.

Sample Response: Heroes are people who improve other people's lives without asking for anything in return. Heroes often make sacrifices for others and may risk their own safety to make the world a better place.

As we waited for our new football coach to enter the locker room, we all secretly wondered what he would be like. Would he be tough but fair? Would he be demanding but understanding? Would he motivate us before each game with a rousing speech the way Coach Jackson always had? These thoughts were abruptly interrupted when our new coach entered the locker room, stood before us, and commanded our attention. "He" was a "she"! Our new coach was a female? Stunned, my mouth gaping, I barely heard what she said to the team next.

How does Spencer's use of chronological order affect the plot of his narrative? Readers are able to share in Spencer's surprise at discovering that his new coach is female because this fact is not revealed at the beginning of the story.

Read this story, which is in chronological order. Last May, I decided to swim a mile without stopping. I knew I would need to be able to do it to join the Coast Guard, so I spent every morning practicing with my father. I thought of giving up many times. "I could be sleeping right now," I would cry out as my muscles ached. One morning, I started to doubt myself, so I imagined swimming to a person in need. Before I knew it, I could hear my dad clapping. I had done it! Write a version of the same story, this time starting the story in the middle.

I thought of giving up many times. "I could be sleeping right now," I would cry out as my muscles ached. Last May, I decided to swim a mile nonstop. I was set on joining the Coast Guard, so I spent every morning practicing with my father. One morning, I started to doubt myself, so I imagined swimming to a person drowning. Before I knew it, I could hear my dad clapping. I had done it!

My reflection

Learning about the struggles and hardship Harriet has had to see is heart wrenching. Reading about all that she has done coming from a place of severe suffering is empowering and of course inspirational, she has taught me to always believe that the grass is greener on the other side. Harriet has changed my thinking by implanting the idea in my mind to never give up, she's also taught me to challenge authority and keep my morals close. Without Harriet's influence the world we live in may be very different, she advanced relations between African Americans and the Military along with the government and changed the world. She has touched millions of hearts, America is forever in debt to her.

Standing alone in my family's barn, I thought about how much hard work and time my parents had invested—how much hard work and time we had all invested—in maintaining a fully operational farm. I did not remember a time when my clothes had not reeked of manure or my hair had not held fast to brittle pieces of straw. What would happen if my parents had to sell the farm so we could move closer to my grandparents? Just as I was attempting to imagine a life in the city, a sudden commotion erupted and interrupted my thoughts. With animals squawking and dust flying, I scrambled to pinpoint the source of this unexpected intrusion. In seconds that felt more like minutes, I was successful . . . and I could scarcely believe what my eyes were seeing.

Nick would like to rearrange his plot so that it begins with the commotion in the barn. Which statement best describes how starting in the middle of an exciting part will affect the plot? NOT Nick will need to provide a more detailed conclusion to make up for the events he did not include. Nick uses chronological order to relate his narrative. What effect does this have on his arrangement of the plot? NOT It allows Nick to include extra details as he develops the events that lead to the most exciting parts of his story.

Think about a topic that addresses the prompt. Then, describe your topic, including the subject and a story you may tell.

Sample Response: I am always in a rush to get to my after-school job. One day, my neighbor Amaya drove me there when I worried I would get fired. Since that day, Amaya has always checked up on me to see if I needed help. I know I can count on Amaya. She's a hero to me.

Write a reflection. Be sure to write about how your experience has left a lasting impact, how it has changed your thinking, or how it connects to another area of your life or to the world.

Sample Response: I had seen Mr. Montrose at the park for years, but it wasn't until I learned about Mr. Montrose's past that I began to see him as a hero. I also learned to consider the importance of appreciating people's history. Talking with Mr. Montrose is what inspired me to apply for a position at the VA hospital.

Write a few lines of dialogue based on this scenario. Chester is heading home after his first day at a new school when he realizes that he left his wallet in his locker. He needs money for a bus ride home. He sees his new classmates nearby.

Sample response: "Excuse me," said Chester as he approached a student he recognized from math class. "My wallet is back in my locker. Any chance I could borrow money for the bus?" "I don't know you," the student said brusquely. "Come on. He's not exactly a stranger," said another classmate as she strolled up. "Here you go. The ride's on me."

I could not have been more stunned. "He" was a "she"! Our new football coach was a female. My mind drifted to that day last week. We had all been waiting in the locker room to meet our new coach, secretly wondering what he would be like. Would he be tough but fair? Would he be demanding but understanding? Would he motivate us before each game with a rousing speech the way Coach Jackson always had? These thoughts were abruptly interrupted when our new coach entered the locker room, stood before us, and commanded our attention.

Spencer decided to structure his narrative to start at the end. How did this affect his arrangement of the plot? Spencer had to go back and recount the events that led to that moment.

I could tell by the mischievous gleam in their eyes and the sneaky looks they were exchanging that my little brother and sister had been planning to deceive me in some way.

The most precise replacement for the underlined word is "conniving"

Which sentence makes the best use of descriptive language?

The piercing squeal of tires on asphalt startled Katrina from a deep sleep.

Thinking back on that afternoon, I knew then that my best friend was keeping something from me. If I thought about it—I mean, really thought about it—there had been other signs. They may have been subtle, but they had been there, nonetheless.

Trevor decides not to tell his story in chronological order. What is the most likely reason Trevor chose to begin his story in this way? To capture the reader's attention by creating suspense about his best friend

Tired of waiting for the bus, which was late for the fifth day in a row, I sat leafing through an old magazine I had stuffed in my purse the previous night. It was terribly warm for a September afternoon, and the sun cast fleeting shadows on the bus stop sign with each car that passed. I wondered when the weather would get cooler and when the new bus driver would start arriving on time. It was about then that I first noticed the apparent agitation of the man sitting next to me. Finally, the bus arrived and ambled to a gradual stop directly in front of the restless man. The doors widened, and the bus driver greeted the man with his usual banter in his usual monotone. "Good afternoon. How are you today?"

When writing the next few lines of dialogue, Dominique should be certain that the lines NOT Provide clues about what will happen later on in the narrative.