443 Love

Triangular theory of love

Love is formed from the combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment to form 8 different kinds of love.

Capilano Suspension Bridge study

Males 18-35 who crossed a shaky bridge were more likely to call an attractive experimenter "discuss results" of experiment than males who crossed a sturdy, stable bridge and stories were filled with more sexual content.

Types of arousal study

Men rated women as more physically attractive if they were ANY kind of aroused (genital mutilation - negative, or positive arousal).

Romantic passionate love is a _____ experience, that involves both ______ and _____.

Multi-faceted; giving; taking

Insecure people are more ______, so they can't enjoy the intimacy. Avoidant people have lower intimacy because they're _____ from their partners.

Nervous about their relationships; detached

Compassionate love

Not noted in the Triangular Theory of Love. Trust/intimacy + compassion/caring Involves empathy for others and the benevolent desire to help those in need.

One measure of passion is ______, which is shown to _____ over time.

Sexual intercourse frequency; decrease

Men and women are more ______ than ______ when it comes to love.

Similar; different

After being married for at least 15 years, happy couples indicate _____. Meaning what?

"my spouse is my best friend" "I like my spouse as a person" Long-lasting, satisfying marriages associated with lots of companionate love.

Two types of securely attached

- Continuous-secures: People that were always secure due to caregiver interactions. - Earned-secures: People who are in relationships with secure people may become more secure themselves due to the "secure buffering effect".

Companionate love traits

- Doesn't depend on passion alone - Combines intimacy + commitment - Deep sense of friendship w/ affection and trust. - Enjoyment of common activities, mutual interests, shared laughter.

How do we heal a broken heart?

- Eat chocolate (contains phenylethylamine, which is an endorphin released in the brain when we are in love) - Wait it out (stops reinforcements, and feelings stop eventually. Should remove ex-partners off Facebook, etc.)

Sheets (2014) findings on self-expansion and romantic, passionate love

- Expansion was lower in long-term relationships. - Expansion in relationships associated with more attraction, sensual and obsessive love, and possessive love - Self-expansion may lead to better relationship quality.

Why doesn't romantic love last?

- Fantasy element which enhances romance erodes over time. - Novelty adds excitement + sexual arousal. But it fades with familiarity. - Arousal also fuels romance, but fades.

8 kinds of love according to triangular theory

- Liking (intimacy) - Romantic love (passion + intimacy) - Infatuation (passion only) - Fatuous love (passion + commitment) - Empty love (commitment only) - Companionate love (intimacy + commitment) - Consummate love (intimacy, commitment + passion)

Conclusions about the fading of romantic love

- Love that encourages people to marry isn't the same as the love that keeps them together. - Companionate love is more stable than romantic love. - Don't be disappointed if your desires resolve into more placid but deep affection for your partner. (good results!)

Fundamental physiological pathways to romantic, passionate love (3);

- Lust (sex drive and libido, testosterone and estrogen) - Attraction (DA, focused on one particular person unlike lust) - Attachment (oxytocin. Feels calming, relaxing, and soothing) - All three present in varying amounts each time.

In love, men (4);

- More likely to believe "love at first sight" - Tend to fall in love faster - Less discriminating - Want passionate relationships

Two major types of love in American romance.

- Passionate love that leads people to pair off with one another. - Love that's full of friendship and underlies lasting relationships.

In love, women (3);

- experience more intense/volatile emotions than men - More cautious/selective - Feel passion more slowly

How can someone change an insecure attachment?

1. Identify/learn about attachment style. 2. Identify/learn about partner's attachment style. 3. Seek to understand attachment needs.

Passionate love is rooted in two factors; _____, and _____.

1. Physiological arousal 2. Belief another person is the cause of this arousal - Seen an "intensifying" of romantic love when feelings of arousal are associated with another attractive person.

Securely attached people experience ______ elements of love.

All four (passion, commitment, intimacy, & compassion)

How does love hurt?

Because we can go into withdrawal when a source of dopamine is gone (our partners). This leads to activation of brain areas associated with drug cravings whenever we look at pictures of someone who rejected us.

When it comes to romantic passionate love; love is _____. Which means?

Blind; means that we have a sense of "perceived superiority" that makes us see our relationship as better than the average relationship. Causes us to underestimate/ignore other people's faults.

Romantic, passionate love

Characterized by passion and fuels romantic union. This is accompanied by moods ranging from ecstasy to anguish.

The withdrawal of love can be compared to withdrawal from _____.

Cocaine.

Physiological differences between companionate love and romantic love

Companionate love confers more oxytocin release, which is a hormone produced during orgasm which promotes a soothing sense of well-being and encourages enduring attachments.

Over time, _______ love is stronger in enduring relationships than ______ love.

Companionate; passionate

Compassionate love is highly correlated with ______ and ______ love due to it's high ______.

Companionate; romantic; intimacy

Sexual frequency has been linked to areas of the brain associated with ________.

Cravings.

Romantic love is associated with _____, while companionate love is associated with _____. However, ______.

Dopamine; oxytocin; both are always present in the body!

Romantic passionate love ______ our self-concepts. (why?)

Expand; Because our partners bring us new experiences (ex. new foods, new hobbies, etc.) that help us learn about things we didn't know of before.

Each physiological system evolved to _________, and supports triangular theory's assumption that ________.

Facilitate some component of successful reproduction; passion, intimacy, and commitment can be independent of each other

Romantic passionate love ______ self esteem and self-efficacy.

Increases

The quality of our attachments vary from ______ to _____. Meaning we can be ______ in some relationships, while _____ in others.

Partner; Partner; Secure; Insecure

Does love last? (Cite research)

Probably not. Romantic love decreases after people marry. - Lower scores on love score for 10 years of marriage vs. 2 years of marriage. - 50% reduction in affection expression for couples married after 2 yrs vs. newlyweds - Divorces most common in 4th year of marriage (vs. other times)

Insecure attachment may cause people to ___________.

Remain in a relationship they would otherwise terminate.

Self-expansion theory of romantic love

Romantic love comes from our basic motivations to expand our self-concepts via love.

Compassionate lovers have a _________ view of their relationships relative to ________ lovers.

accurate; romantic/passionate

Despite the presence of three systems, these three systems aren't ______, they are ________.

separate; inter-related

Compassionate lovers _______ the pain and joy of their loved ones, and display ___________ for their partners as well.

share; considerable care

People who have higher levels of oxytocin are _____ during disagreements. Conversely, when people are given oxytocin mouth sprays, they start behaving _______ during disagreements.

warmer/kinder; more kindly and pleasantly with their partners