asdfasdfasdf, Comm 102 review, com-120 final (chp. 8 - chp. 12), Interpersonal Communication Exam 3, Chapter 11: Attraction and Intimacy, COMST 218, Communications Final Chapter 11, Chapter 13 Knowledge Check, Ch 9-12, ch.12 communication climate, Ch...
Which request would be best received by an employee at a call center?
"Could you tell me if...?"
empowered refusal
"HAVE TO" vs "WANT TO" --. Invitational com- municators not only extend freedom to others, but they exercise it them- selves. --Responsibly rather than aggressively
Certainty vs. Provisionalism in Communication
(Certainty) "That'll never work!" -> (Provisionalism) "You might run into problems with that approach." (Certainty) "You'll hate that class! Don't take it!" -> (Provisionalism) "I didn't like that class very much; I'm not sure you would, either." (Certainty) "You won't get anywhere without a college education—mark my words." -> (Provisionalism) "I think it's important to get that degree. I found it was hard to land an interview until I had one."
Controlling vs. Problem Oriented Communication
(Controlling) "Get off your phone now! I need to talk to you!" -> (Problem Oriented) "I really need to talk soon. Can you take a break?" (Controlling) "There's only one way to handle this problem..." -> (Problem Oriented) "Looks like we have a problem. Let's work out a solution we can both live with." (Controlling) "Either you start working harder, or you're fired!" -> (Problem Oriented) "The production in your department hasn't been as high as I'd hoped. Any ideas on what we could do to improve it?"
Evaluative vs. Descriptive Language
(Evaluative) "You're not making any sense." -> (Descriptive) "I'm not clear on the point you're making." (Evaluative) "You're inconsiderate" -> (Descriptive) "I would appreciate it if you would let me know when you're running late - I was worried." (Evaluative) "That's an ugly tablecloth." -> (Descriptive) "I'm not crazy about big blue stripes; I like something more subtle."
Neutrality vs. Empathy in Communication
(Neutrality) "This is what happens when you don't plan properly." -> (Empathy) "I'm so sorry this didn't turn out the way you expected." (Neutrality) "Sometimes things just don't work out. That's the way it goes." -> (Empathy) "I know you put a lot of time and effort into this project." (Neutrality) "Don't get too excited - everybody gets promoted sooner or later." -> (Empathy) "I'll bet you're pretty excited about the promotion."
Strategy vs. Spontaneity in Communication
(Strategy) "What are you doing Friday after work?" -> (Spontaneity) "I have a piano I need to move Friday after work. Can you give me a hand?" (Strategy) "Have you ever considered another line of work?" -> (Spontaneity) "I'm concerned about your job performance over the last year; let's set up a time to talk about it." (Strategy) "Ali and Kasey go out to dinner every week." -> (Spontaneity) "I'd like to go out for dinner more often."
Superiority vs. Equality in Communication
(Superiority) "When you get to be in my position someday, then you'll understand." -> (Equality) "I'd like to hear how the issue looks to you. Then I can tell you how it looks to me." (Superiority) "No, not that way! Let me show you how to do it right." -> (Equality) "What if you tried it this way?" (Superiority) "You really believe that?" -> (Equality) "Here's another way to think about it..."
disagreeing message
- argumentative -complaining
Cyberbullying
-More than 1/3 of children report being bullied online while in school. -Middle school is the peak period for this, though it can occur in other years as well. -People are far more likely to tell their friends than adults about online harassment, so many school programs encourage peer-led support and intervention.
2. Agree w/ critic (non-def)
-agree w/ the truth -agree in principle (say accomplishments) -agree w/ critics perceptions (respect their views)
1. Seek more info (non-def)
-ask for specifics -guessing at specifics of a complaint -paraphrasing (draw out confusion)
cyber bullying
-middle school peak of cyber bullying -take pics of evidence
Disconfirming messages (1-3)
1. Agressiveness 2. Ostracism
Issues Regarding the Gibb Model
1. It's better suited for low-context cultures such as the US than for high-context ones. 2. There are ways in which each of the communication approaches Gibb labels as "supportive" can be used to exploit others and, therefore, don't help with positive climate building. -ex. spontaneity can be strategy too, when honesty is used in calculating ways, such as being just frank enough to win someone's trust or sympathy for the purpose of manipulation -This calculated honesty is probably the most defense-arousing strategy of all, because once you're on to the manipulation, there's almost no chance you'll ever trust that person again.
Six Step + 1
1. Prepare 2. Make an appointment 3. Explain your views 4. Give PIC chance to explain their views 5. Work to a resolution 6. Follow up +1 - Repeat if needed
Creating an Invitational Climate
1. The Language of Choice -I, you, and we language and the language of responsibility were addressed in chapter five, but the words that come after these pronouns matter too. -Responsible communication reflects choices, rather than obligation. The wording focuses on decisions made (ex. will, going to), not grudging acquiescence (ex. should, have to). -In the language of invitational communication, empowering words identify your freedom to make choices. In essence, you're inviting yourself to take charge of your decisions. -ex. rewording goals can help you perceive them differently -Once you've adopted the language of choice for yourself, consider what it's like to offer that same choice and freedom to others: "You should" becomes "I'm going to" (and you can join me if you want); "You have to" becomes "You're welcome to"; "We can't" becomes "I don't want to" (do you?). -One study found that when a request is followed by the phrase "but you are free to say no," respondents are actually more likely to comply with the request. The concept is simple: People don't like feeling pressured or having their options limited or prescribed. -The goal of invitational communication is to genuinely offer freedom of choice, which people value and appreciate. Recognize that your perspective might not be shared by others, so offer it in a way that invites rather than imposes. 2. Responding Nondefensively to Criticism -Two methods: seek more information or agree with the critic. -Method 1 - Seek More Information: seek to truly understand what the other person has said before responding. Even comments that on first consideration appear to be totally unjustified or foolish may contain important truths. One way to seek more information is asking for specifics and inviting them to explain their position more clearly - which can facilitate meaningful change in behaviors and relational satisfaction. Keep your tone of voice civil to avoid appearing ingenuine in wanting to understand the other person and why they're upset with you. Sometimes your critics won't be able to define precisely the behavior they find offensive—or they may be reluctant to tell you. In these cases, it's helpful to guess at the specifics of a complaint. This must be done with goodwill if it's going to be effective. Another strategy is to draw out confused or reluctant speakers by para-phrasing their thoughts and feelings, using reflective listening skills. -Method 2 - Agree With The Critic: you can acknowledge and accept another person's point of view while still maintaining your position. One way to agree with the critic is to agree with the truth. You do this when another person's criticism is factually correct. In this way, you don't pretend you're perfect, demean yourself, or find it necessary to justify your errors (necessarily, depends on the circumstances, but in other words, you don't make excuses and you just accept the truth, leading to more open communication on the topic). Once you acknowledge this, your communication can become more invitational. You can also agree in principle. Criticism often comes in the form of abstract ideals against which you're unfavorably compared. In these cases, you can agree with the principle behind them (and acknowledge that in your communication) but still behave as you have been. After all, some rules do allow occasional exceptions, and people often are inconsistent. What about times when there seems to be no basis whatsoever for agreeing with your critics? You've listened carefully and asked questions to make sure you understand the objections, but the more you listen, the more positive you are that they are totally out of line. In these cases, you can at least agree with the critic's perception. Such responses tell critics that you're acknowledging the reasonableness of their perceptions, even though you don't agree or wish to change your behavior. This helps you avoid debates over who's right and who's wrong, which can turn an ex-change of ideas into an argument. All these responses to criticism may appear to buy peace at the cost of denying your feelings. But counterattacking only makes things worse. These invitational responses won't solve problems or settle disputes on their own, but they will make a constructive dialogue possible, setting the stage for a productive solution.
What are the four characteristics of interpersonal conflict?
1. The conflicting parties are independent 2. They seek incompatible goals or outcomes or they favor incompatible means to the same end 3. The incompatibility has the potential to adversely affect the relationship if not addressed 4. There is a sense of urgency
Supportive Behaviors
1. description 2. Problem Oriented 3. Spontaneity 4. Empathy 5. Equality 6. Provisionalism
defense-provoking behaviors
1. evaluation 2. control 3. strategy 4. neutrality 5. superiority 6. certainty
confirming messages (1-3)
1. recognition 2. acknowledgement 3. endorsement
Responding non-defensively to criticism
1. seek more info 2. agree w/ critic
Although we're capable of understanding speech at rates up to 600 words per minute, the average person speaks much more slowly—between __________ and __________ words per minute.
100; 140
Anthropologist Robin Dunbar suggests that humans have the capacity to be intimately connected with about how many people at a time?
5
How many steps are featured in the comprehensive approach to conflict management described in the textbook?
7
What type of disconfirming communication does the following interaction illustrate? Michael: "I'm kind of worried about my grandmother's health. She's been losing so much weight." Sonja: "Yeah, I don't think she's eating enough, and at the rate we're going, pretty soon we won't be eating enough either—we really need to go grocery shopping."
A tangential response
According to the textbook, what percentage of cultures have the concept of romantic love, including flirtation and "running off together"?
About 90 percent
Jeff tells his girlfriend he wants to see a new action movie but accepts her choice of a romantic comedy. This is an example of ____________. a. collaboration b. accommodation c. avoidance d. competition
Accommodation
Joe and Anita are having a disagreement about what show to binge watch together. Most of the time Joe just gives in to what Anita would prefer to watch. Which conflict style is Joe demonstrating?
Accommodation
defensiveness is interactive:
All communicators contribute to the climate of a relationship
Passive Listening
Allows individual to express him/herself; helpful to gain information
Which statement is TRUE about cultural norms that govern nonverbal expressiveness?
American emoticons focus on mouth expressions, whereas Japanese emoticons feature the eyes.
What type of disconfirming communication does the following interaction illustrate? Alice: "Would you like to go see a movie with me on Friday night?" Bill: "Uh, maybe. Alice: "OK, well, do you want to call me Thursday to let me know if you're free?" Bill: "Uh, that might work. See you later."
An ambiguous response
Select all of the following that have been included as the aspects of attractiveness of those we love.
An average-looking adolescent becomes an attractive adult. We perceive attractive people as likable and perceive likable people as attractive. Those portrayed as warm are considered more attractive.
How do a supporting listening response and an evaluating response differ?
An evaluating response is more directive and less reflective
A dirty look, the silent treatment, and avoiding another person can all be example of which characteristic of conflict? a. incompatible goals b. An expressed struggle c. interdependence d. Scarce resources
An expressed struggle
Which attachment style most likely results in behaviors that are jealous and clingy, but also sometimes indifferent or hostile?
Anxious
Positive attributes such as organizational assimilation, communicative competence, and a willingness to confront others when wronged are associated with __________.
Argumentativeness
Which statement best describes the two-factor theory of emotion?
Arousal X its label = emotion
Which nondefensive response to criticism does Donna's comment illustrate? Cynthia: "This place is a mess! Would it kill you to help out around the apartment?" Donna: "I've got a ton of studying to do, but this weekend I could clean the kitchen and bathrooms, or I could do laundry and vacuuming. Which would be more helpful?" Cynthia: "I know you're busy....If you would just get your clothes off the floor and take out the trash, that would be great."
Asking what the critic wants
_____ is an emotional bond between infant and caregiver.
Attachment
After attending two loud concerts and a fireworks display on the 4 th of July long weekend, you find yourself asking people to repeat what they just said. What type of problem are you likely experiencing?
Auditory fatigue
___________ Generally reflects a pessimistic attitude toward conflict a. accommodation b. avoidance c. competition d. Compromise
Avoidance
The ________ conflict style involves creating a lose-lose situation.
Avoiding
Passive Aggressive Cycle
Avoids conflict but commits acts that cause suffering ; crazy making behaviors that can end a relationship
Both examples below illustrate which element of the assertive message format? Example 1: "Yesterday, Kristopher promised me he would stop coming over to my house without calling first. Today, he stopped by without clearing it with me." Example 2: "Carla hasn't been asking me to join her for lunch, like she usually does. She also hasn't been hanging out much outside of her office, and hasn't returned any of my emails that weren't directly related to work."
Behavioral description
Emotional intelligence involves which of the following abilities?
Being sensitive to the feelings of others
A long-term romantic couple has a serial conflict about their pace of life. Cameron prefers to take things slow and has a polychronic approach towards commitments. Corey is more task-oriented and monochronic and feels like Cameron doesn't respect his desire for timeliness. They are planning a vacation together and know this argument is going to come up. Which of the following approaches would be best for them to take?
Cameron and Corey should have a problem-solving conversation where they work together to create a solution they can both enjoy.
Which statement below accurately describes an aspect of attachment theory?
Children who develop secure bonds with their family members tend to be more confident communicators and have more effective relationships
Although ________ involves politeness, it is more than that, featuring the ability to disagree without disrespect, seek common ground, listen past one's preconceptions, and teach others to do the same.
Civility
Reappraisal is an activity related to which component of emotions?
Cognitive interpretations
As the team leader for a challenging sales pitch at your company, you realize that a relatively minor and straightforward decision regarding the project needs to be made in an hour. Which conflict style would be LEAST advisable for you to pursue in this instance?
Collaboration
Amy is concerned with behaving honorably and employing face saving approaches to conflict. What kind of culture is Amy likely from? a. Feminine b. masculine c. Individualistic d. Collectivistic
Collectivistic
Social scientists use the term metacommunication to describe what kinds of messages that people exchange?
Communication about communication
Which statement about family roles is true?
Communication problems in families often arise when people communicate in ways that do not fit their expected family role
6. certainty
Communicators who dogmatically regard their own opinions with cer- tainty while disregarding the ideas of others demonstrate a lack of regard for others. -- only care bout themselves -- "never", "can't", "always", "have to"
______ love involves a steady, low key, warm, and affectionate attachment.
Companionate
What is the flip side of accommodation? a. collaboration b. competition c. avoidance d. Compromise
Competition
The statements "I wish you would be friendlier," "You are such a slob," and "You need to have a more positive attitude" are examples of ________.
Complaining
______ is the tendency for two people to fill in what is missing in the other; in some ways, it's the opposite of similarity.
Complementarity
What are the two functional conflict styles?
Compromise and Collaboration
In the ________ conflict style, both people involved in the conflict get some of what they want but also have to sacrifice some of their goals
Compromising
Inevitability of Conflict Principle
Conflict becomes increasingly more likely as relationships become closer
We seek out involvement with others but, at the same time, we are unwilling to sacrifice our entire identity to even the most satisfying relationship. Which dialectal tension does this illustrate?
Connection versus autonomy
Researchers have identified five strategies to help keep relationships satisfying, including all of the following except ______________
Consistency
"Either you increase your sales figures, or you find a new job." This statement reflects which of Gibb's categories?
Control
At an external level, which dialectic captures the challenges that people in a relationship face when trying to meet others' expectations while being true to themselves?
Conventionality-Uniqueness
What has research about cyberbullying established?
Cyberbullying has been linked to poor academic performance, depression, withdrawal, drug and alcohol abuse, and even suicide.
One type of defensive behavior, neutrality, involves reacting with indifference to the feelings of others. What is the supportive counterpart to this defensive behavior?
Empathy
Active Listening
Enables participants to reach an understanding through nonverbal and verbal messages
What is the primary goal of civil dialogue when conversing about a disagreement?
Establishing a respectful communication climate
After we have made contact with a new person, the next stage is to decide whether we are interested in pursuing the relationship further. This involves getting to know others by gaining more information about them. This stage is referred to as ________
Experimenting
After a heated argument with your romantic partner, what does research on emotions suggest you should do?
Express your feelings through verbal communication that centers on specific circumstances
Defensiveness is related to concepts of presenting self and ______.
Face
"If I post on Facebook, nobody will read or Like it." This statement is an example of which fallacy?
Fallacy of catastrophic expectations
Holding expectations for yourself and for others can promote which fallacy?
Fallacy of should
"listen to the other persons needs" is the first step in the seven step approach to conflict management discussed in the text
False
A compromise is typically a satisfactory response to conflict
False
A conflict style is a personality trait that necessarily carries across all situations
False
A task orientation listening style is effective because it focuses on the other person's feelings.
False
Acts of deceptive affection is negative behavior in romantic relationships.
False
An expressed struggle is one that must be communicated verbally
False
An expressed struggle is one that must be communicated verbally.
False
Avoidance is never advisable form of conflict management
False
Compromising is a highly satisfying strategy for managing dialectical tensions.
False
Empathizing with others requires agreeing with them.
False
Empathizing with people requires agreeing with them.
False
Families are defined primarily through their biological relationship or kinship systems.
False
For a behavior to be considered a transgression, it needs to be deliberate.
False
Friends and family are especially accurate at interpreting the feelings behind texted messages.
False
In complementary conflict, both partners use the same tactics
False
In the Ethical Challenge Feature "Nonviolence: A Legacy of Principled Effectiveness," your text suggests that the proven effectiveness of nonviolence in achieving social change is, sadly, rarely effective in interpersonal situations.
False
In the Looking at Diversity Feature "Searching for Accord in Troubled Times," FBI director James Comey's studies show that many people in our white-majority culture have unconscious racial biases and react differently to a white face than a black face. Therefore, Comey suggests we're not responsible for our behavior in response to those instinctive reactions
False
In the Reading Feature "How to Fall in Love," Mandy Len Catron reports on a study that proves it's not possible to artificially generate the trust and intimacy that love needs in order to thrive.
False
Listening is an automatic and involuntary process.
False
Metacommunication is a relationship enhancer in face-to-face conversations but not online.
False
Mindless listening is a negative activity that should be avoided.
False
One way to avoid the debilitative feelings that often accompany the fallacy of causation is to use language that minimizes responsibility for your choices.
False
Partners who are radically dissimilar tend to have successful long-term marriages.
False
Patients who played video games with friends after getting out of surgery required less pain medication that those who did not.
False
People generally value unsolicited advice.
False
Which statement below does not characterize family systems?
Family systems are the smallest social unit and cannot be broken down into smaller subsystems
Systems Theory
If human relationships are thought of as systems, communication and conflict are not only inevitable but continual.
Which messages primarily involve using clichés rather than truly responding to a speaker?
Impersonal Responses
What is the difference between the complementary conflict style and the symmetrical conflict style?
In the complementary style, both partners use different but reinforcing behaviors; in the symmetrical style, both partners use the same behaviors.
In which external dialectic does a relational pair reconcile a desire for involvement with others outside the relationship and time together within the relationship?
Inclusion-Seclusion
Jodi finds her brother in law, Cameron, irritating, but she can't avoid interacting with him because he is married to her sister. This reflects which characteristic of conflict? a. An expressed struggle b. Incompatible goals c. Inevitability d. Interdependence
Incompatible goals
Accommodation-Avoid Cycle
Individual works to avoid conflict and gives in quickly to the other person; gunnysacking
______ is the use of strategies (such as flattery) by which people seek to gain another's favor or get someone to like them.
Ingratiation
During which stage of a relationship do you show that you are interested in making contact and demonstrate that you are a person worth talking to?
Initiating
Besides attitudes and beliefs, researchers have found that similarities in the following variables are also important when one is seeking friends or spouses.
Intelligence Ages Education
These examples illustrate which element of the assertive message format? Example 1: "Kristopher must have forgotten about his agreement not to stop by my place without calling first. I know he doesn't mean to inconvenience me; he is just excited to see me." Example 2: "Kristopher is so rude! I can't believe he doesn't understand how annoying it is when people show up unannounced. He just doesn't respect my privacy.
Interpretation statement
Directive Listening
Involves assessment and advice giving
Which statement about intimate relationships is true?
It is neither possible nor desirable to establish an intimate relationship with most people we meet
Each of the following is considered to be one of the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" for relationships except _______
Jealousy
Having a supervisor who is an active, empathic listener is correlated with which of the following?
Less stress and higher satisfaction at both work and home
"If I understand your correctly, you're saying that texts and calls are just a sign of care and concern, and they're not an attempt to monitor me." This statement is likely to occur at which stage of the seven-step process for conflict management?
Listen to the other person's needs
According to the book, defining "love" can be tricky, as it is a social phenomenon. Select all of the following that are associated with love.
Love supplements sexual desire. Love is enriched with a deepening friendship.
According to Rusbult and her colleagues, which of the following is one of the ways of coping with a failing relationship?
Loyalty
Amal's friendship with Jason ended abruptly due to a serious expectancy violation that can injure or destroy friendships. Which guideline for friendship was most likely the one violated?
Maintain confidences
How do self-disclosure practices in collectivist cultures like Japan's differ from those found in individualistic cultures like that of the United States?
Members of collectivist cultures tend not to self-disclose with new people whereas members of individualistic cultures tend to self-disclose readily with strangers.
Studies show that relational intimacy may develop ________ through computer-mediated communication than in face-to-face communication.
More quickly
A hot, stuffy room is an example of which barrier to listening?
Noise
According to research, how many conflicts do we experience with friends?
One or two a day
A strategy to maintain a relationship that involves talking directly about the relationship and disclosing needs and concerns is _______________.
Openness
Which of the following are examples of the mere exposure effect?
Our favorite letter tends to be in our name. Students like a painting that's hanging on their classroom wall.
Many researchers have attributed the attachment styles to which of the following?
Parental responsiveness Early attachment experiences Inherited temperament
The state of deep longing for union with another is known as ______ love.
Passionate
_____ love is a state of intense longing for union with another.
Passionate
The term that describes why many people who are friends live or work geographically near one another is ______.
Proximity
Which of the following factors nurture liking and loving?
Proximity Physical attractiveness Similarity
The reward theory helps explain some of the influences on attraction. Which of the following is an example explanation?
Proximity costs less time and effort to receive friendship's benefits.
What are the intRApersonal theories?
Psychodynamic, attribution, uncertainty
Which strategy for managing dialectal tensions involves acknowledging that dialectal tensions are a part of life and accepting the challenges that come with them?
Reaffirmation
We are attracted to people who we believe are attracted to us. Conversely, we will probably not care for people who either attack or seem indifferent toward us. This kind of attraction is labeled as which of the following?
Reciprocal Attraction
Monitoring thoughts and verbal messages are both ways of helping you with which first step for effective emotional expression?
Recognize your feelings
After listening carefully to your sister's account of how she was let go at work, you ask her how she feels. You are what kind of listener?
Relational
Different tones of voice affect which dimension of a message?
Relational
______ theory helps explain why people everywhere like those who are warm, trustworthy, and responsive.
Reward
Some social scientists have argued that all relationships—both impersonal and personal—are based on a semi-economic model called social exchange theory. The basis of this model is:
Rewards - Costs = Outcomes
Embracing your partner while gushing "I adore you" is an expression of which type of love?
Romantic
Sternberg's kinds of love are combinations of intimacy, commitment, and passion. Which of the following are kinds of love found on the triangle of love?
Romantic Companionate
S-TLC
S-stop T-think L-listen C-communicate
_____ people sense their own worth and lovability and expect that others will accept and respond to their love.
Secure
"Was that TMI?" is a question that reflects which feature of competent communication?
Self-Monitoring
Which of the following components influence the ups and downs of close relationships?
Self-disclosure Equity Attachment styles
Which of the following qualities distinguish interpersonal relationships from less personal ones?
Self-disclosure and intrinsic rewards
Angry exclamations such as "We've been down this road a dozen times!" are typical of which type of argument?
Serial arguments
A large body of research confirms the fact that we like people who are ________ us, at least in most cases.
Similar to
Which of these factors nurture liking and loving?
Similarity Proximity
Gibb Categories
Six sets of contrasting styles of verbal and nonverbal behavior. Each set describes a communication style that is likely to arouse defensiveness and a contrasting style that is likely to prevent or reduce it. Developed by psychologist Jack Gibb. Defense-Provoking Behaviors (Left) & Contrasting Supportive Behaviors (Right): 1. Evaluation vs. Description 2. Control vs. Problem Orientation 3. Strategy vs. Spontaneity 4. Neutrality vs. Empathy 5. Superiority vs. Equality 6. Certainty vs. Provisionalism Understanding them helps explain how positive climates can be created by sending supportive rather than defense-provoking messages. Supportive communication climates are ones where there is mutual respect between communicators. By valuing and confirming others—even if you disagree with them—you create a respectful climate that helps enhance a positive communication climate, both now and in future interactions.
_____ predicts that ratings for a young woman's picture on attractiveness will be lower after male raters have been watching the Miss USA pageant.
Social comparison
What are the intERpersonal theories?
Social exchange, Systems theory
Whenever Nora is upset with her sister, Sarah, Nora withdraws and refuses to speak to Sarah for an extended period of time. This response, which sends a disconfirming message to the other person, is known as ___________. a. Criticism b. contempt c. stonewalling d. Defensiveness
Stonewalling
"You're really foolish enough to believe that?" is a statement conveying which of Gibb's position?
Superiority
Which statement is TRUE about taking communication personally (TCP)?
Taking conflict personally is less an individual trait than a relational one.
Positive View of Conflict
The effective conflict manager does not view conflict negatively, but rather sees opportunities to resolve problems and improve relationships with people who mean the most in conflict situations
_____ the similarity between husband and wife, _____ likely they are to divorce.
The greater; the less
_____ effect is the tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more after repeated exposure.
The mere exposure
What is a relational conflict style?
The pattern of managing disagreements that develops in a long-term relationship.
What is impression management?
The process whereby you attempt to influence others' perceptions of you
This theory states that attraction toward others is a function of reinforcements.
The reward theory of attraction
The more angry dating subjects with mind reading expectation become, the more likely they are to use _________ to punish their partners a. The silent treatment b. Verbal expressions of contempt c. criticism d. Defensiveness
The silent treatment
Levels of Message Confirmation
There are confirming messages, disagreeing messages, and disconfirming messages. They all exist on a spectrum. From left (confirming - valuing), to middle (disagreeing), to right (disconfirming - non-valuing), they are: Left -Endorsement -Acknowledgement -Recognition Middle -Argumentativeness -Complaining Right -Agressiveness -Ostracism
which statement is true about satisfied couples and conflict? a. they let the other person know they understand the other side of the dispute b. they recognize that disagreement are unhealthy c. they use evaluative "you language" d. They never argue vigorously
They let the other person know they understand the other side of the dispute
"I like the way we don't discuss our political differences in public" is an example of metacommunication.
True
Being around a calm person who makes you feel more at peace is an example of emotional contagion.
True
Daily tasks are among the most frequent and destructive sources of relational conflict
True
Destructive conflict patterns can result in poor mental and physical health for the parties involved
True
Disconfirming communication messages are used to convey a lack of value from one person to another, often in ways that threaten the face of the communicators involved
True
Emotions that are primary in one culture may not be primary in another or even have an equivalent.
True
Friendships are created, managed, and maintained through communication.
True
Good conversationalists take cues about topics that interest the other person.
True
In the In Real Life Feature "The Assertive Message Format," you text offers examples to show that the elements of the assertive message format can vary, and the way they sound will depend on the situation and your personal style.
True
In the Looking at Diversity Feature "A Modern Arranged Marriage," Rakhi Singh tells the story of her marriage to Rajesh Punn, including how their parents coordinated a more modern approach to arranged marriage that included much less pressure than upon previous generations. Rakhi highlights the difference by sharing about her parents arranged marriage and how during her parents first meeting they were given only three hours to decide on an engagement.
True
In the Looking at Diversity Feature "Multicultural Families and Communication Challenges," Scott Johnson, father of an adopted biracial family, promotes having frank discussions about race as a family.
True
In the Looking at Diversity Feature "Promoting Understanding," Abdel Jalil Elayyadi, an Arab Muslim who grew up in Morocco, explains how he tries to promote peace and understanding in the world by engaging in conversations with non-Muslims that focus on things in common and shared beliefs
True
In the Reading Feature "Relfies: Good for You and Your Relationships," Gary Lewandowski suggests that "relfies," relationship selfie photos, help promote healthy relationships.
True
Insulated listening is almost the opposite of selective listening.
True
Keeping a balanced "body budget" decreases emotional stress.
True
Listening accuracy suffers when listening to multiple sources at the same time.
True
Listening, as defined in your textbook, is broadly defined to include the written word.
True
Mark Knapp's model has 10 relational stages.
True
Most people have default styles of handling conflict: characteristic approaches they take when their needs appear incompatible with what others want
True
Most people suffer from impoverished emotional vocabularies.
True
One of the first steps toward resolving a conflict is to take the attitude that "were all in this together"
True
Which of the following is a definitional characteristic of a family?
a common history
James became friends with Ciara and Julius separately in different classes at college but once they got married, his relationship with them changed and they began interacting differently with him. What does this illustrate about fail communication?
a family is more than the sum of its parts
In several experiments, college men, who were aroused sexually by reading or viewing erotic material, had ______ response to a woman, supporting the two-factor theory of emotion.
a heightened
Disagreeing Message
a message that essentially communicates to another person, "you are wrong" -Lies between confirming and disconfirming messages and isn't always easy to categorize. -In its most constructive form, disagreement includes two confirming components: recognition and acknowledgment. At its worst, a strong disagreeing message can be so devastating that the benefits of recognition and acknowledgment are lost. -Two ways to disagree without necessarily being disconfirming are argumentativeness and complaining.
A disagreeing message
a message that essentially communicates to another person, "you are wrong," and includes argumentativeness, complaining, and aggressiveness -if constructive includes "recognition/acknowldgement"
Asking a black colleague how she got her job is an example of __________.
a microaggression
When we know others like us, we usually feel ______.
a reciprocal affection
Provisionalism
a supportive style of communication in which the sender expresses a willingness to consider the other person's position; where the sender expresses openness to others' ideas and opinions -Though you may have strong ideas, with this style of communication you acknowledge that they are not the only truth and acknowledge others' positions and opinions besides your own. -This style often surfaces in word choice. Whereas people acting with certainty regularly use the terms can't, never, always, must, and have to, those acting with provisionalism use perhaps, maybe, possibly, might, and could. They recognize that discussion is aided by open-mindedness.
Description
a way to offer your thoughts, feelings, and wants without judging the listener -These messages make documented observations that are specific and concrete. They focus on behavior that can be changed rather than personal characteristics that can't. Their messages address specific behaviors rather than making sweeping character generalizations. The messages provide information on how the speaker arrived at their conclusion. They also often use "I" language, which provokes less defensiveness than "you" language. -They are just as honest as evaluative messages, but they are straightforward without personally attacking the listener, which can poison a communication climate.
1. Description
a way to offer your thoughts, feelings, and wants without judging the listener. -"I" --make documented observations that are specific and concrete. --focus on behavior that can be changed
Listening to the ideas and feelings of others is an important part of ______
acknowledgement
Ostracism causes social pain and, much like physical pain, being ostracized can increase ______.
aggression
Invitational Communication
an approach that welcomes others to see your point of view and to freely share their own -In an invitational climate, communicators offer ideas without coercion; they listen to ideas with an open mind; they exchange ideas without pressure. -It's an environment where growth and change can occur, but changing others isn't the goal or a necessity for the interaction to be successful. -This doesn't mean communicators don't evaluate the messages they hear or waffle about things they believe in. What it means is they endeavor to create a supportive climate based on value, safety, and freedom, leading to a greater civility in their communication.
Exclusion, if by cyber-ostracism or in the real world, hurts longest for ______ people.
anxious
The ______ attachment style shows ambivalence during "strange situation" experiments, displaying both clinginess and hostility when a parent leaves.
anxious
What, according to research, seems to b e the primary basis of attraction for speed daters?
appearance
When our need to belong is satisfied, we ______.
are happier are healthier
Those who are involved in an equitable, long-term relationship ______ short-term equity.
are unconcerned with
Two ways to disagree without necessarily being disconfirming are
argumentativeness and complainig
Two wats to disagree without necessarily being disconfirming are _____________ and __________?
argumentativeness/complaining
asdf
asdf
The physical-______ stereotype is the belief that prettier or better-looking people have socially desirable traits, such as intelligence or friendliness.
attractiveness
Many studies have shown that being perfectly ______ is more appealing.
average
In terms of conflict styles, ghosting can be an act of passive aggression or an act of __________.
avoidance
you tell your roommate, "I want to talk about how your friends come over all the time, make a lot of noise, eat our food, and leave a mess." He responds by crossing the hall to visit one of these friends who also lives in your apartment building. Your roommate is exhibiting which conflict style in this situation?
avoidance
An insecure attachment style that shows discomfort over, or resistance to, being close to others is called ______ attachment.
avoidant
As subsets of insecure attachment, a child showing ______ attachment has little distress during separation.
avoidant
Disconfirming messages
behaviors that imply a lack of respect or value for others -can be subtler than disagreeing ones but potentially more damaging.
Spontaneity
being honest with others rather than manipulating them -This doesn't mean blurting out what you're thinking as soon as an idea comes to you. Those kinds of impulsive disclosures are usually detrimental to interpersonal communication. There is immense interpersonal value in pausing to think before speaking your mind. -If someone tells you upfront why they're asking a question, your defenses are more lowered than if they hide their agenda.
3. Spontaneity
being honest with others rather than manipulating them.
Proximity is ______.
being near or next to
The need to ______ is the need to give and to be given affection.
belong
In FWB relationships, men are typically more focused on _______?
benefits
In FWB relationships, men are typically more focused on ____________.
benefits
According to the two-factor theory of emotion, an emotion involves both ______ and ______.
body; mind
Anticipating interaction _____ liking.
boosts
People are more likely to stay married if they ______.
both grew up in stable, two-parent homes
When our authors describe conflict as an expressed struggle, they believe conflict can only occur when ________
both parties are aware of a disagreement
The members of Javier's extended family have many diverse political view. When they get together, politics is never discussed. This is an example of a(n)?
boundary
"Ideas are not personal property" is a rule of which activity?
brainstorming
You need a favor. Which statement should follow your request to increase the chance of your friend agreeing to help?
but you are free to say no.
Invitational rhetoric
can be viewed as a communication exchange in which participants create an environment where growth and change can occur but where changing others is neither the ultimate goal nor the criterion for success in the interaction.
Marital distress ______ the perception of unfairness.
can increase
While examining the relationship between gaining another's esteem and liking, researchers found that constant approval ______.
can lose value
3. strategy
characterize defense-arousing messages in which speakers hide their ulterior motives. --dishonesty & manipulation
Strategy
characterizes defense-arousing messages in which speakers hide their ulterior motives -The terms dishonesty and manipulation reflect the nature of strategy. -Even if the intentions that motivate strategic communication are honorable, the victim of deception is likely to feel offended at being deceived. -Gibb recognized the dangers of hidden agendas that others both sense and resist. They make others suspicious and automatically put up their defenses in case of a threat. When others detect an underlying strategy to your communication, their defenses go up. ("Hmmm...why do you want to know?") -ex. Counterfeit questions, some sales techniques
Which shared task best predicts marital satisfaction?
child rearing
Ritualized, stock responses to social situations are called __________.
cliches
Among dating couples, the _____ the relationship, the more _____ the breakup.
closer and longer; painful
What do linguists call the practice of adapting your manner of speaking to the context?
code-switching
When compromises are successful and satisfying, they can be categorized as _________. a. avoidance b. accommodation c. competition d. collaboration
collaboration
Which approach to conflict involves a high degree of concern for both self and others, with the goal of solving problems not "my way" or "your way" but "our way"?
collaboration
Equality
communicating that although you may have superior skills and talents in certain areas, you see other people as having just as much worth and don't treat them like you're better than them or with any kind of superiority -It's put to the test when someone who doesn't possess superior skills is in a position of authority. -A truly secure person can treat others with equality even when there are obvious differences in knowledge, talent, and status. Doing so creates a positive climate in which ideas are evaluated not on the basis of who contributed them, but rather on the merit of the ideas themselves.
You received no reply to the email you sent your English professor at the end of semester, a nonresponse which you interpreted to mean that she was very busy. Which principle of communication does this illustrate?
communication can be intentional or unintentional
Neutrality
communication that sends a message of indifference or a lack of caring to the other person -Using Gibb's terminology, a neutral attitude is disconfirming because it communicates a lack of concern for the other person and implies that they aren't very important to you. -Consequently, this contributes to people feeling unimportant, not taken care of, not valued or appreciated, and not respected by their relational partners. -Large, impersonal organizations (such as corporations) often elicit this type of response through their neutral communication.
2. Problem Oriented
communicators focus on finding a solution that satisfies both their own needs and those of the others involved --"we"
After an awkward get-together with the in-laws, you respond to your spouse's criticism about your comments at dinner by noting your glowing student evaluations as a professor. This scenario illustrates which principle about communication competence?
competence is situational
Kathleen's boss requests that she work overtime on the weekend. She replies, "You should ask David instead. He's never busy on the weekend, and I have young children at home to care for." Kathleen's response reflects which conflict style?
competition
Fred and Lee feel that instead of being similar to each other, they complete what is missing in each other. The couple's relationship is an example of ______.
complementarity
Differences strengthen a relationship when they are _______?
complementary
Partners who use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors have a conflict style labeled ___________. a. Parallel b. symmetrical c. complementary d. assertive
complementary
When both people get at least some of what they want, but also sacrifice some part of their goals, the are engaging in _________?
compromise
In one form or another, ____________ messages essentially say "you exist", "you matter", and "you're important."
confirming
______ messages from parents help satisfy many of their children's needs, such as the need for nurturance and respect?
confirming
____________ may be familiar and comfortable but they aren't the best way to solve the variety of problems that come up in any relationship. a. complementary conflicts b. symmetrical conflicts c. Compromises d. conflict rituals
conflict rituals
Taylor doesn't like to deal with personal messages when she is at work but her partner, Corey, feels the need to call or text her often during the day. Which dialectical tension are they experiencing in their relationship?
connection-autonomy
Messages have __________ and relational dimensions.
content
____________ occurs when a sender seems to be imposing a solution on the receiver, with little regard for the person's needs or interests?
controlling communication
Which dialectic captures the challenges that people in a relationship face when trying to meet others' expectations while being true to themselves?
conventionality-uniqueness
"Are you busy Saturday night?" your mom asks because she wants you to babysit your younger brother. This is an example of a(n) __________ question that __________.
counterfeit; carries a hidden agenda
On social networking sites, __________ proximity outweighs __________ proximity.
cultural; geographic
What do scholars call the language, values, beliefs, traditions, and customs people share and learn?
culture
Researchers were surprised at the discovery that even ______ by faceless people whom one will never meet will take a toll.
cyberostracism
Williams and his colleagues (2011) found that _____ is painful for the victim.
cyberostracism
Although you were still angry about a disagreement you'd had the night before, you gave your partner a big hug in the morning. This is an act of ______?
deceptive affection
Finding out that someone is dissimilar to oneself _____ liking.
decreases
Unlike the wild emotions of passionate love, companionate love is lower key; it is a _________.
deep, affectionate attachment
The dictionary meanings, or __________, of a word like "home," are often less important than its connotations, the feelings it evokes.
denotations
Most people become irritated at judgmental statements, which they are likely to interpret as indicating a lack of regard. The supportive counterpart to this evaluative behavior is ________.
description
Julia considers the new partner of her friend Cassie a bad influence. Since they have become a couple, Cassie has started skipping classes, and her grades have suffered. Julia calmly yet assertively expresses her concerns to Cassie, who tells her to mind her own business. This is an example of which approach to conflict?
destructive complementary
Also good for the bottom line, what is the cornerstone of democracy, according to the textbook?
digital technology
Swearing, teasing, ridicule, nonverbal emblems, and threats are all types of__________. a.collaboration b. direct aggression c. passive aggression d. avoidance
direct aggression
Confirming Communication
direct or indirect messages that convey valuing (to someone else in a relationship) -In one form or another, confirming messages essentially say "you exist," "you matter," and "you're important." -This is the best predictor of marital satisfaction. -Even your best attempts at confirming messages can be misinterpreted. But research shows that 3 increasingly positive types of messages have the best chance of being perceived as confirming: recognition, acknowledgment, and endorsement.
The primary goals of __________ feedback are to understand, confirm, and mirror what the speaker said. By contrast, the primary goals of__________ feedback are to judge the speaker's message and provide guidance.
directive; reflective
A(n) __________ is a type of __________ speech that attempts to distance a speaker from remarks that might be unwelcome.
disclaimer; powerless
Self-______ means revealing intimate aspects of oneself to others.
disclosure
When one person reveals highly intimate information to a second person, the second person tends to do the same thing back. This phenomenon is called ______.
disclosure reciprocity
The cooling of intense romantic love often triggers a period of ______, especially for those who believe romantic love is necessary for a successful marriage.
disillusion
Dissimilarity breeds ______.
dislike
In the Ethical Challenge Feature "Dirty Fighting with Crazymakers," a gunnysacker is defined as someone who __________
doesn't respond immediately when angered; instead, a gunnysacker lets conflicts build up until they all pour out at once.
Passionate love is emotional and psychological, but it also engages the parts of our brain that produce which neurotransmitter below?
dopamine
Effective communicators realize that although it's impossible to __________ conflict, there are ways to __________ it effectively.
eliminate; manage
What does EQ measure?
emotional intelligence
Thinking of someone as a person rather than a number conveys which of Gibb's positions?
empathy
Your arguments with your spouse revolve around justifying your own positions rather than solving problems or understanding the other's perspective. Like many unhappy couples, you have little or no __________ for each other.
empathy
When Dana gives her colleague a hug, exclaiming, "That was an excellent training seminar," what type of message is she conveying?
endorsement
The more _____ a relationship is, the more likely it will succeed.
equitable
If you feel that what you put into a relationship should be proportional to what you receive, you are describing the specific relationship concept known as _____.
equity
What Sam puts into his relationship is proportional to what he feels he receives; this balance is called ______.
equity
The term "self-other integration" means the same thing as ______.
essence of love
What is the primary goal of civil dialogue when conversing about a disagreement?
establishing a respectful communication climate
Lukas's roommate puts up a poster on their dorm room wall. Over the course of the semester, Lukas grows to like the poster more and more, simply because he looks at it every day. This increased liking comes from the mere ______ effect.
exposure
Brittany doesn't think twice about eating whatever food her roommate, Elaine, puts in their fridge. Elaine resents this but hasn't shared her frustration with Brittany. Which pertinent element of the definition of conflict is not present in the scenario?
expressed struggle
Defensiveness is related to concepts of presenting self and __________.
face
Perception checking provides enough information to fully understand another person.
false
Social penetration theory is most often applied to the difference between the perspectives of privileged social groups and people who have less power.
false
Staying aware means being hypervigilant and hypercritical.
false
Symmetrical approaches to conflict create problems, while complementary approaches do not.
false
Task-oriented friendships are grounded in mutual liking and social support.
false
The most accurate interpretation of a yawn is boredom.
false
With training, it is possible to avoid conflicts.
false
According to Sternberg's triangular theory, which type of love is characterized by a combination of passion and commitment?
fatuous love
The stage of responding in the listening process involves __________.
feedback
What is the term for a verbal or nonverbal response to a previous message?
feedback
If George does not feel the relationship is equitable, he is likely to ______.
feel it is unfair
Families who are most successful at negotiating the difficulties of adolescence tend to be ____________.
flexible
According to their research on social interaction and self-censorship, Swann and his colleagues (1991) suggest that a true friend is one who ______.
gives corrective feedback
What quality characterizes friendships where contact is infrequent?
hard to say
Todd is most likely to form a friendship with Joan if Joan ______.
has similar values
A number of factors such as physiological disorders and background noise can diminish __________, the first stage of listening.
hearing
Edward Sapir's research on the __________ language discovered that this culture makes no distinction between nouns and verbs, describing the entire world as being constantly in process.
hopi
When being ostracized, a person often feels ______.
hurt and depressed
People respond to ostracism with ______.
hurt feelings anxiety depressed mood
The fact that we tend to like those things that we associate with ourselves is called ______ ______.
implicit egotism
According to research, we like what we associate with ourselves. For example, people named Dennis are more likely to become dentists because the words are similar. This is the phenomenon called ______.
implicit egotism
Evaluation
judges another person, usually in a negative way -They possess several characteristics that make them face-threatening: they judge what the other person is feeling rather than describing the speaker's thoughts, feelings, and wants; they don't explain how the speaker arrived at their conclusion; they lack specifics; and, they're often phrased in defense-arousing "you" language. -There is a more constructive way to register a legitimate complaint, and that way is through description. -ex. "You don't care about me!"
The physical-attractiveness stereotype predicts that people will describe Jessica, a swimsuit model, as ______.
kind sexually cold sensitive likable
Kalick (1977) had participants rate pictures of women before and after plastic surgery on physical attractiveness. According to the physical-attractiveness stereotype, participants found the women more physically attractive after surgery, as well as ______.
kinder and more likable
Research indicates that teaching children to recognize and __________ their emotions is foundational to building their emotional intelligence.
label
The Stroop effect illustrates the influence of ____________ on perception.
language
Likeness produces ______.
liking
Most people marry someone who ______.
lives or works near them
We're imprinted with ways to give and receive affection from an early age; most people learn these ____________ in their family of origin.
love languages
Words of affirmation and quality time are examples of __________.
love languages
Your friend asks you what you think of her new ride. You don't like it, but you tell her that it's a definite upgrade from her last car. This response balances your desire to be honest with your desire to __________
maintain positive face
Men and women often approach conflicts differently. Even in childhood, ________.
males are more likely to be aggressive, demanding, and competitive, whereas females are more likely to be cooperative
The skillful _______ of conflict can open the door to healthier, stronger, and more satisfying relationships, as well as to increased mental and physical health.
management
People who are androgynous have relatively equal __________ and __________ characteristics.
masculine; feminine
The ______ phenomenon is the tendency to look for someone who is similar to ourselves in attractiveness when we are searching for a mate.
matching
We tend to seek out someone is who similar in physical attractiveness to ourselves when we are searching for a mate. This is called the ______.
matching phenomenon
Endorsement
means you agree with or support another person -While acknowledgement just shows interest, this goes deeper to actually agree with or support the other person. -The strongest type of confirming message because it conveys the highest amount of valuing. -You can verbally endorse others by agreeing with them ("You're right about that."), offering compliments ("Nice job handing that situation."), or giving praise ("That's the best presentation I've seen this year!"). -It can also happen nonverbally through simple acts like maintaining eye contact or nodding to confirm the value of a speaker's idea. On a more personal level, hugs and embraces can communicate endorsement in ways that words cannot.
During election season, you see commercials from a certain candidate a few times a day. Over time, you begin to think this person is more trustworthy and more attractive. This is an example of the ______ effect.
mere exposure
One reason proximity leads to liking is ______.
mere exposure
Face-Threatening Acts
messages that we perceive as challenging the image we want to project
face-threatening acts
messages we perceive as challenging the image we want to project
A young woman's physical attractiveness is a(n) _____ predictor of how frequently she dates.
moderately good
A young man's physical attractiveness is a(n) _____ predictor of how frequently he dates.
modestly good
Attractive people tend to make _____ money than unattractive people make.
more
Bad moods affect our thinking and memory _____ than good moods.
more
Hatfield and her coworkers (1966) found that the more attractive a woman was, the _____ a man wanted to date her again.
more
In experiments, men put _____ value on opposite-sex physical attractiveness than did women.
more
Testing the two-factor theory of emotion, Dutton and Aron (1974) found that men responded ______ to a researcher's offer to call her when the men were physically aroused by a dangerous bridge.
more
When we are judging others, negative information carries _____ weight because it is less usual.
more
In a psychology experiment, people read a positive or negative description of a person's personality and then they are shown pictures of the person. Those who were described as warm, helpful and considerate were rated as ______.
more attractive
Compared to liking, love is _____ to measure.
more difficult
Bad events are _____ than good events.
more influential
The more similar someone's attitudes are to your own, the ______.
more likable you will find them
The "beautiful is good" stereotype accurately predicts that attractive children are ______.
more relaxed more socially polished
We often perceive criticism to be _____ than praise.
more sincere
A(n) __________ attitude is disconfirming because it communicates a lack of concern for the welfare of another and implies that the other isn't very important to you?
neutral
Using the plural "they" is one way of addressing an individual with what kind of identity?
non-binary
Which cues signaling warmth and involvement are associated with communication competence and credibility?
nonverbal immediacy
In terms of long-term equity, happily married people tend ______ how much they are giving and getting.
not to keep score of
2. Control
occurs when a sender seems to be imposing a solution on the receiver, with little regard for that person's needs or interests.
Researchers who examine the meaning of blinking are involved most specifically in the study of __________.
oculesics
After overhearing one person say to another, "I think we should break up," you expect a serious conversation to follow, but instead, they laugh and chat happily of other things. Clearly, this couple shares cues and experiences that shape their interpretation of what was said. In other words, they have their own __________ rules
pragmatic
The __________ self is a public image, the way you want to appear to others.
presenting
1. argumentativeness (DM)
presenting and defending positions on issues while opposing positions taken by others
Argumentativeness
presenting and defending positions on issues while opposing positions taken by others -This can coincide with a number of positive attributes (at least in the US), such as leadership, communication competence, and willingness to confront others when wronged. -The way you present your ideas makes all the difference in maintaining a positive climate while arguing a point. Make sure you're evaluating positions or issues, not attacking people. There's a world of difference between "That's a stupid idea" and "I disagree—let me explain why." It is possible to argue in a respectful, constructive way.
Attractive people are more likely to have _____ jobs than are unattractive individuals.
prestigious
Evolutionary psychologists assume that evolution predisposes women to favor male traits that signify an ability to ______.
provide resources
Another term for geographical nearness is ______.
proximity
You are more likely to develop a friendship with someone in one of your classes or someone who lives next door due to _________?
proximity
Ostracism
purposely excluding others from interaction -Also called the "social death penalty." -It's bad to be treated poorly. It can be worse to be ignored altogether. -Many report that ostracism is even more painful and damaging than harassment -Ostracism usually involves exclusion from a group, but it can take also place in one-on-one interaction through things like the silent treatment, ghosting, and stonewalling. -The power of ostracism illustrates the principle of communication that you can't not communicate. Withholding interaction from others sends a message. In some cases it can be the most disconfirming message of all.
Jamil often answers his phone when having dinner with his partner, Tanika. This bothers Tanika, whose primary love language is ____________.
quality time
Interpersonal listening is defined as the process of __________ and responding to others' messages.
receiving
Casey's self-disclosure matches that of Joe, her conversational partner. As each person reveals more intimate information, the partner does the same. This is an example of disclosure ______.
reciprocity
Which of the most fundamental act of confirmation?
recognition
Monitoring thoughts and verbal messages are both ways of helping you with which first step for effective emotional expression?
recognize your feeling
communication climate
refers to the social tone of a relationship
Which is the most constructive way of managing dialectal tensions?
reframing
After listening carefully to your sister's account of how she was let go at work, you ask her how she feels. You are what kind of listener?
relational
A crazy ex, a flaky friend, a jealous personality, and an inability to commit are examples of __________?
relational baggage
Conflict happens within __________, and its character is usually determined by the way all the people involved interact.
relational systems
An event that changes a relationship in a fundamental way, such as a first kiss, is known as a ________
relational turning point
Couples who engage in __________ together report happier and longer relationships.
relational work
One of the components that researchers attribute the varying attachment styles is parental
responsiveness.
The ______ theory of attraction states that we like those whom we associate with rewards.
reward
The _____ is the theory that we like people whose behavior is associated with positive, beneficial events.
reward theory of attraction
What is the best example of a turn-taking signal that occurs at the end of a clause?
rising or falling pitch
Certainty
sending the message that you're always right, that yours is the only or proper way of doing something, and insisting that you have all the facts and need no additional information -Communicators who dogmatically regard their own opinions with certainty while disregarding the ideas of others demonstrate a lack of regard for others. -It's likely the receiver will take the certainty as a personal attack and react defensively.
Repetitive conflicts about the same issue in a relationship are known as _______?
serial arguments
According to your text, for many males the most meaningful part of their same-sex friendships is ________.
shared activities
According to the likeness-leads-to-liking effect, roommate friendships would flourish when the roommates ______.
shared values shared personality traits
Empathy
showing care for the feelings of another person -Research has shown that empathy minimizes potential threats to self-concept. -Accepting others' feeling and putting yourself in their shoes is separate from agreeing with them. By simply signaling to someone that you care for them and respect them, you'll be acting in a supportive way.
4. Empathy
showing care for the feelings of another. -- showing care for the feelings of another. -- minimizes potential threats to self-concept
Disconfirming Communication
signals a lack of regard for another person in a relationship -In one form or another, disconfirming messages say, "You don't matter," "You're not important," or "You don't exist." -Disconfirming messages can be subtler than disagreeing ones but potentially more damaging. It can be easy to feel disconfirmed by a partner's phone habits (phubbing), even if they're unintentional. -But some disconfirming communication is more intentional, and usually more injurious. -Forms include interruption, dismissal of a message, or signals that you're not actually present or listening to your relational partner. -Two message types that fall into this category are aggressiveness and ostracism.
Research consistently shows couples with positively correlated attitudes, ages, and economic levels are more likely to be happy. This finding supports which general relationship phenomenon below?
similarity
Men who have just been looking at centerfolds and then perceive their own wives as less attractive are engaging in ______.
social comparison
What interpersonal relationship theory is based on an economical model?
social exchange theory
Cultural membership contributes to every person's ____________, the part of the self-concept that is based on membership in groups.
social identity
Romances, friendships, and families-just like neighborhoods, cities, and countries-have particular communication climates, defined by their ________ ?
social tone
Attractive children and young adults are more relaxed, outgoing, and ______ than those who are average.
socially polished
According to Baumeister and Wotman (1992), the person who _____ recalls more pain over an ended relationship than _____.
spurns someone's love; those who were spurned
Which type of listening ignores the contributions of others and monopolizes speaking time?
stage hogging
Which communication theory would be most relevant to research that examined the intersection of sex, race, and socioeconomic status with respect to the impact of the coronavirus pandemic?
standpoint
Snap judgments are often derived from ____________.
stereotypes
When Annie says to her partner, "All our friends will be a Chad's party," instead of saying, "I would really like us to go to Chad's party," she is using ___________ rather than _____________?
strategy/spontaneity
The nuclear family is a(n) __________ that is part of a larger __________ including aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, grandparents, etc.
subsystem; supra system
defensiveness
suggests protecting yourself from attack
A friendship based on shared activities rather than emotional support can be described as ________.
task oriented
What kind of friendship are you most likely to have with a teammate or a coworker?
task oriented
Compared with North Americans, Asians are less concerned about the cooling of intense romantic love, because they ______.
tend to focus less on personal feelings focus more on practical aspects of social attachments are less prone to self-focused individualism
Aggressiveness
tendency to attack another person's character, background, or identity -This type of disconfirming message is verbal. -Unlike argumentativeness, aggressiveness de-means the worth of others and is corrosive to relationships -This includes name-calling, bullying, put-downs, sarcasm, taunting, yelling, badgering, and even some types of humor. They are all methods of "winning" disagreements at someone else's expense. -It's possible to send clear, firm messages that are assertive (standing up for yourself, using "I" statements, clearly articulating your thoughts, feelings, and wants) rather than aggressive (putting others down).
The greater the similarity of couples, ______.
the less likely they are to divorce the happier they are together
When choosing whom to approach for a date, Billy looked for someone whose attractiveness was similar to his own. This demonstrates ______.
the matching phenomenon
The desire to connect with others in enduring close relationships is ______.
the need to belong
In a conflict situation, the process of identifying and defining a conflict, generating a number of possible solutions, evaluating those solutions, and then deciding on the best solution is called ________
the negotiation of a solution
Before you begin conflict management, your text suggests that it's important to realize two things about the problem that is causing the conflict. They are _______________
the problem is yours, and you have unmet needs
Defensiveness
the process of protecting our presenting self, or face -The most predictable reaction to most disconfirming messages and some disagreeing messages. -A defensive attitude can shut down productive communication. -When others are willing to accept and acknowledge important parts of our presenting image (presenting self and face), there is no reason to feel defensive. However, when others confront us with face-threatening acts, we are likely to resist what they say. -Although responding defensively to a face-threatening attack may seem logical, over time, defensiveness erodes relationship stability. -Although defensiveness can sometimes be justified, we often feel most defensive when criticism is right on target. -Defensiveness isn't only the responsibility of the person feeling threatened. Competent communicators protect others' face needs as well as their own. This facework leads to less defensive responses from other people when bringing up constructive criticism. -Defensiveness is interactive: all communicators contribute to the climate of a relationship.
According to the reward theory of attraction, we will like a relationship and will wish to continue it if _____.
the reward is more than the cost
Your online dating profile is fantastic, far more favorable than even a friend would create for you. This unrealistically positive self-appraisal illustrates which characteristic of the self-concept?
the self-concept is subjective
Communication Climate
the social tone of a relationship -it's more about the way people feel about and treat each other than about participating in specific activities together -it's present in interpersonal relationships of all contexts (including, for example, the workplace) -climates are shared by everyone within them -they can change over time -relational climates can shape moods -climates are determined by the degree to which people see themselves as valued -there are confirming and disconfirming communication climates - and the interpretation of a message as confirming or disconfirming is subjective
Flattery leads to liking if ______.
there is not an apparent ulterior motive
According to communication researcher Jeffrey Hall, three ingredients for friendship are __________, talk, and shared activities.
time
4. neutrality
to describe a fourth behavior that arouses defensiveness. -- indifference -- 911 call
confirming communication
to describe either direct or indirect messages that convey valuing
John Gottman's "four horsemen of the apocalypse" are all types of __________?
toxic conflict
Cheryl's friendship with Jordan was put at risk because his habit of banter slipped into teasing and then into hurtful comments? Which expectancy violation did this behavior most closely demonstrate?
treat each other with respect
A win-lose conflict style can have a high relational cost
true
A win-lose conflict style can have a high relational cost—especially when the loser is a close friend or loved one.
true
According to research, dating partners find sexual infidelity and breaking up with the partner the two least forgivable offenses.
true
Across cultures, emotion suppression has been shown to have negative effects on psychological well-being and life satisfaction.
true
At the same time you are sizing up others, you are providing nonverbal cues about your attitude toward them.
true
Attraction based on similarities is a subjective process.
true
People of all cultures convey messages through facial expressions and gestures.
true
People who assume that men are aggressive and women accommodating may notice behavior that fits these stereotypes
true
Problem orientation is often typified by "We" language.
true
Psychologists have concluded that solitary confinement is a form of torture.
true
Research subjects who hear content-free speech—ordinary speech that has been electronically manipulated so that the words are unintelligible—can consistently recognize the emotion being expressed and identify its strength.
true
Research suggests that whether they mean to or not, communicators often see the world through a gendered lens—and women are often perceived and treated unfairly.
true
Roommates who had positive initial impressions of each other are likely to have positive subsequent interactions due to confirmation bias.
true
Serial arguments are more likely than nonrecurring ones to use hostile communication.
true
Studies show that people with higher emotional granularity make fewer visits to doctors and hospitals.
true
When a topic is sensitive and emotionally charged, it's best to keep your questions as open and neutral as possible.
true
Juanita takes her date on several roller-coaster rides, hoping that her date's physical arousal will transfer to feelings of attraction. Juanita is using which theory below to her advantage?
two-factor theory
Syntactic rules, jargon, and message source are all factors significantly featured in which stage of listening?
understanding
Over twenty years of research shows that both happy and unhappy marriages have conflicts but that they manage conflict in very different ways. The difference between happy and unhappy couples is that _______
unhappy couples argue in destructive ways
2. Ostracism (DGM)
= "the social death penalty" -- excludes others/ from a group -- more painful and damaging than harassment -- the silent treatment, ghosting, and stonewalling
1.) Aggressiveness (verbal) (DGM
= is the tendency to attack another person's character, background, or identity -- lower self-esteem, depresses, delinquents(juvie) --Bully
2. complaining (DM)
A disagreeing message that directly or indirectly communicates dissatisfaction with another person. -Personal complaints are more likely to result in an escalated conflict episode
Complaining
A disagreeing message that directly or indirectly communicates dissatisfaction with another person. -When communicators don't want to argue (which requires interaction), but they still want to register dissatisfaction, they can complain. -As is true of all disagreeing messages, some ways of complaining are more constructive than others. There are behavioral complaints (ex. "You always throw your socks on the floor!") and complaints aimed at personal characteristics (ex. "You're a slob!"). Unsurprisingly, behavioral complaints are more constructive than those aimed at personal characteristics. Personal complaints are more likely to result in an escalated conflict episode. This is because complaints about personal characteristics attack a more fundamental part of the presenting self. Talking about socks deals with a habit that can be changed; calling someone a slob is a character assault that is unlikely to be forgotten when the conflict is over. -John Gottman (marriage researcher from last chapter) has found that complaining isn't a sign of a troubled relationship and it's actually healthy for spouses to get their concerns out in the open. However, when couples' complaining turns to criticism and contempt, it is often a symptom of relational trouble.
Compromise
A resolution where everyone gives up something but everyone gets something OR no one wins and no one loses
Rank the three components of Sternberg's triangular theory of love from hot to warm to cool.
Passion; Intimacy; Commitment
What are the three dysfunctional conflict styles?
Passive Aggressive, Competitive, and Accommodation-Avoid
After calling your coworker a slacker, you then dismiss this deliberate criticism by saying, "Just kidding." You are using what kind of conflict style in this instance?
Passive aggression
When a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure or manipulative way, his or her behavior is called ________.
Passive aggression
Attribution Theory
People act as they do in conflict situations because of the inferences they made about others based on their behavior.
Social Exchange Theory
People evaluate their interpersonal relationships in terms of their value, which is created by the costs and rewards associated with the relationship
Psychodynamic Theory
People experience conflict because of the tension arising from their personal (internal, psychological, emotional, and mental) states.
Which of the following are factors related to long-lasting marriages?
People usually stay married if they live in a small town or on a farm. People usually stay married if they married after age 20. People usually stay married if they are religiously committed.
"So many friends, so little time" expresses the tension you experience when trying to juggle these various commitments. This reflects which element of conflict?
Perceived scarce resources
Which series ranks Maslow's needs in the order in which they must be satisfied?
Physical, Safety, Social, Self-esteem, Self-actualization
Process View of Conflict
Prelude to conflict > Triggering event > Initiation of Conflict > Differentiation Phase > Resolution Phase
Interpersonal Conflict
Problematic situations with the four characteristics
The Gibb Categories of Defense
Provoking Vs. Supportive Behavior
Which conflict style involves civil conversations in which conflicts are managed openly and cooperatively?
validating
communication climate is determined by the degree to which people see themselves as
valued
"I'm sorry" can mean different things to a Japanese and an American speaker due to cultural differences in __________.
verbal codes
According to Rusbult, if Bob's relationship is failing but he actively seeks to improve the relationship, talking about the problems with his partner, he is engaging in which type of response?
voice
Affinity, immediacy, respect, and control are dimensions of what kind of communication?
Relational
People are disproportionately likely to marry others whose first or last names resemble their own.
True
People who primarily use the relational listening style are typically extroverted, attentive, and friendly.
True
Relationships on social media can be as stable as, or even more so than, geographically close relationships.
True
The Character of conflict is usually determined by the way people involved interact
True
The Reading Feature "When Friends Get in the Way," suggests that our 24/7 social connectivity with close friends can get in the way of the development of romantic relationships.
True
The motivation of an accommodator plays a significant role in the effectiveness of accommodation as a conflict management style
True
True or false: Being exposed to a person or object over time leads to increased liking, even when we are not aware of the exposure.
True
True or false: Traditionally, we think that looks should not be important, that we should not judge a book by the cover. Currently, there is an abundant amount of research showing that appearance matters and good looks are an asset.
True
Unhappy couples in conflict situations are often more concerned with defending themselves than with solving problems
True
Whatever forms they may take, all interpersonal conflicts share certain features.
True
8. Whereas hearing is a physiological process, is a psychological one that is part of the selection stage of perception. Attending 8. After listening carefully to your sister's account of how she was let go at work, you ask her how she feels. You are what kind of listener? Relational 8. Pretending to listen while thinking about something else characterizes which type of listening? Pseudolistening 8. While selective listening involves focuses on only topics of interest, ____________ involves tuning out unpleasant topics. Insulated Listening 8. The degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender was attempting to communicate is known as __________. Listening Fidelity 8. Your text suggests that helpful interpersonal listening begins with reflective, rather than directive responses such as questioning 8. "Are you busy Saturday night?" your mom asks because she wants you to babysit your younger brother. This is an example of a(n) __________ question that __________. counterfeit; carries a hidden agenda 8. Which response style restates in your own words the message you thought the speaker sent? Paraphrasing 8. Which listening response style can effectively help others see alternative meanings of a situation? Analyzing 9. Emotional intelligence involves which of the following abilities? Being sensitive to the feelings of others 9. "Pleased" is a word that suggests a different degree of emotional __________ than "thrilled." intensity 9. Research on emotional expression suggests that there is some truth in the cultural stereotype of the __________ male and the __________ female inexpressive; more demonstrative 9. The presence of your serene best friend always make you feel calm when you're stressed. What is this process called? Emotional Contagion 9. Which two features distinguish debilitative from facilitative emotions? Intensity and duration 9. Which recurrent thoughts not demanded by the immediate environment can increase feelings of sadness, anxiety, and depression and makes them last longer? Rumination 9. Your job is frequently stressful, but as a supervisor, you need to set an example by remaining calm and in control on the job. The need to manage and suppress emotions is known as __________. Emotional labor 9. The approach is a method based on the idea that thoughts cause feelings in which you reappraise your cognitive interpretations to manage debilitative emotions. rational-emotive 9. "If I post on Facebook, nobody will read or Like it." This statement is an example of which fallacy? Fallacy of catastrophic expectations 10. The old saying "opposites attract" suggests which reason for forming relationships? Complimentiry 10. Social exchange theory describes CLalt as a standard addressing the fact that costs and rewards don't exist in isolation. What does CLalt stand for? Comparison level of alternatives 10. What does research reveal is critical to successful self-disclosure? Reciprocity 10. Which stage of a relationship features a public display and declaration of exclusivity? Bonding 10. In which relational stage do partners reduce the scope of their contact with each other? Circumscribing 10. What do researchers call conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible desires exist simultaneously in a relationship? Dialectical tensions 10. The drive for intimacy through disclosure and the need to maintain space between ourselves and others is the basis of which dialectic? Expression-Privacy 10. What kind of messages deal with social needs for intimacy, affinity, respect, and control? Relational 10. Which strategy of relational maintenance involves being invested in each other's friends and family? Social Networks 10. Couples who engage in __________ together report happier and longer relationships. Relational Work 11. What kind of friendship are you most likely to have with a teammate or a coworker? Task Oriented 11. According to communication researcher Jeffrey Hall, three ingredients for friendship are __________, talk, and shared activities. Time 11. Amal's friendship with Jason ended abruptly due to a serious expectancy violation that can injure or destroy friendships. Which guideline for friendship was most likely the one violated? Maintain confidences 11. Your aunt typically plans and reminds family members about birthdays, graduations, trips, holidays, and memorial services. What is another name for this role? Kinkeeper 11. The nuclear family is a(n) __________ that is part of a larger __________ including aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, grandparents, etc. subsystem; suprasystem 11. Young adults from __________ families are more confident listeners and more intellectually flexible than those from __________ backgrounds. consensual and pluralistic; protective and laissez-faire 11. Which shared task best predicts marital satisfaction and illustrates the systemic nature of the family? Child rearing 11. Which type of conflict pattern is most associated with psychosocial distress for adult children? Surrendered 11. According to Sternberg's triangular theory, which type of love is characterized by a combination of passion and commitment? fatuous love 11. Jamil often answers his phone when having dinner with his partner, Tanika. This bothers Tanika, whose primary love language is ____________. quality time 12. Effective communicators realize that although it's impossible to __________ conflict, there are ways to __________ it effectively. Eliminate; manage 12. When people fail to see mutually satisfying answers to their problems, they have __________. perceived incompatible goals 12. "Taking one for the team" or "losing the battle to win the war" are adages that reflect which approach to conflict? Accommotation 12. Teasing and threats are both types of ____________. direct aggression 12. Partners who use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors exhibit which conflict style? Complimentary 12. What can occur when both partners treat one another with matching hostility, one threat and insult leading to another? Escalatory spiral 12. Partners who seek which kind of outcome are more likely to listen to each other and less likely to be hostile, ultimately leading to less stress and anger? Win-Win 12. When criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling feed off one another, they can develop into destructive __________. conflict rituals 12. When defining the problem, you should explore both the apparent content of your dissatisfaction and the __________ issues that may lurk behind it. relational 12. In a tense situation, building rapport, establishing common ground, and perhaps picking up information are the goals of which activity? ritual Sharing 13. Romances, friendships, and families—just like neighborhoods, cities, and countries—have different communication climates, defined by their __________. Social tone 13. What type of message essentially says, "You don't matter," "You're not important," or "You don't exist"? disconfirming 13. Unlike __________ messages, __________ messages demean the worth of others and is corrosive to relationships argumentative; aggressive 13. Ghosting, stonewalling, and the silent treatment are all variations of ____________. ostracism 13. Defensiveness is related to concepts of presenting self and __________. face 13. Descriptive messages often use what kind of language? "I" language 13. The terms dishonesty and manipulation are associated with which of Gibb's behaviors? Strategy 13. Which attitude is disconfirming because it communicates a lack of concern for the welfare of another and implies that the other person isn't very important to you? Neutrality 13. Which of the following is an open question? What do you think of the city's new rules to help prevent the spread of COVID? 13. You tend to digress and ramble when telling a story. Which guideline for conversation are you overlooking? keep it focused
a
According to one particular thesis, perhaps the strongest determinant of relationship formation is similarity What does research reveal is the key to satisfying self-disclosure? Reciprocity Your partner is a gourmet chef, while you would rather wash the dishes than shop for and cook a meal. As a couple, you work closely together and benefit from complementarity Virginia knows that her partner, Sean, does not respect her. She suffers when he criticizes her at home and shames her in public, yet she fears leaving him and being alone. Which theory offers an explanation for why Virginia would stay in an abusive relationship? Social exchange theory CL(alt) is a concept in social exchange theory that addresses the fact that costs and rewards don't exist in isolation. What does this stand for? Comparison level of alternatives Social media can make it easier for shy or reticent people at which relational stage? Initiating Josh is happy with his new partner, Jesse, and doesn't want to do anything to damage their growing relationship as a couple. Like most people of a certain age, however, Josh has some relational baggage. How would you advise Josh to address this with Jesse? Correct! Disclose elements of your past as your relationship progresses, because it's better that Jesse learns about significant relational baggage from you than a third party. Challenges related to the ____________ dialectic have increased as social media make these boundaries more difficult to manage. expression-privacy In the ____________ stage, partners reduce the scope of their contact with each other. circumscribing Mallory and Nicholas, a married couple who typically spend a lot of time together, recently decided to take separate vacations every year. Which strategy are they using to manage their dialectical tensions? Alternating What kind of messages deal with needs for intimacy, affinity, respect, and control? Relational Text messages to your romantic partner that say LYLC ("love you like crazy") are what type of relational maintenance strategy? Assurances Which is the most important thing people look for in an apology? Acknowledgment of responsibility When offering emotional support, which of the following responses is best? "This must be an incredibly hard time for you." On a personal level, ____________ has been shown to reduce emotional distress and aggression as well as improve cardiovascular functioning. forgiving Couples who engage in ____________ together report happier and longer relationships. relational work A relationship is best described as which of the following? A process Differences strengthen a relationship when they are ____________. complementary What, according to research, seems to be the primary basis of attraction for speed daters? Appearance You are more likely to develop a friendship with someone in one of your classes or someone who lives next door due to ____________. Proximity Which interpersonal relationship theory is based on an economical model? Social exchange theory A crazy ex, a flaky friend, a jealous personality, and an inability to commit are examples of ____________. relational Baggage Which dialectic captures the challenges that people in a relationship face when trying to meet others' expectations while being true to themselves? Conventionality-uniqueness The opening stage for romantic relationships, friendships, and business partnerships is ____________. initiating Taylor doesn't like to deal with personal messages when she is at work, but her partner, Corey, feels the need to call or text her often during the day. Which dialectical tension are they experiencing in their relationship? Connection-autonomy Which is the most constructive way of managing dialectical tensions? Reframing Which statement is an example of metacommunication? "I appreciate how difficult it was to admit your mistake to me." Different tones of voice affect which dimension of a message? Relational "How has your mother been feeling lately? Did she get over her bronchitis?" These questions reflect which strategy for relational maintenance? Social networks Recommendations about where to stay and what to see on vacation, as well as tips for taking a first extended trip with your new partner, are examples of ____________ support. informational Which has been found to be one of the least forgivable offenses in a dating relationship? Sexual infidelity The skillful ____________ of conflict can open the door to healthier, stronger, and more satisfying relationships, as well as to increased mental and physical health. ect! management Brittany doesn't think twice about eating whatever food her roommate, Elaine, puts in their fridge. Elaine resents this but hasn't shared her frustration with Brittany. Which pertinent element of the definition of conflict is not present in this scenario? Expressed struggle In a conflict situation, time and affection can be perceived ____________. scarce resources Which approach to conflict involves a high degree of concern for both self and others, with the goal of solving problems not "my way" or "your way" but "our way"? Collaboration Darius makes a deliberately critical joke about a colleague, Zoey, which he then dismisses by saying, "Just kidding, Zoey." Darius is using what kind of conflict style in this instance? Passive agressiveness When both people get at least some of what they want, but also sacrifice some part of their goals, they are engaging in ____________. Compromise Kathleen's boss requests that she work overtime on the weekend. She replies, "You should ask David instead. He's never busy on the weekend, and I have young children at home to care for." Kathleen's response reflects which conflict style? Competition John Gottman's "four horsemen of the apocalypse" are all types of ____________. Toxic conflict Julia considers the new partner of her friend Cassie a bad influence. Since they have become a couple, Cassie has started skipping classes, and her grades have suffered. Julia calmly yet assertively expresses her concerns to Cassie, who tells her to mind her own business. This is an example of which approach to conflic Destructive complementary Repetitive conflicts about the same issue in a relationship are known as ____________. Serial argument Two powerful variables affect the way people manage conflict: gender and ____________. Culture "The first person to raise his voice loses the argument" is a proverb from ____________ culture. Chinese What has research revealed about how men and women approach conflict? The "talk it out" person in a conflict scenario is likely female. In conflict-management practice, it is important to choose a suitable time and place when ____________. sharing your needs with the other person At which stage of the seven-step approach to conflict-management is paraphrasing most beneficial? Listening to the other person's needs ____________ seem to be based on the assumption "You should know why I'upset-and if you don't, I'm not going to tell you." Mind-reading expectations What has research about conflict established? Happy couples recognize disagreements as healthy and know that conflicts need to be faced. What communication skill might couples who handle conflicts effectively use? Perception checking DeShawn, the team leader for a challenging sales pitch at his company, realizes that a relatively minor and straightforward decision regarding their project needs to be made in an hour. Given the time constraints and other factors, what conflict style would be least advisable for DeShawn to pursue in this instance? Collaboration In terms of conflict styles, ghosting can be an act of passive aggression or an act of ____________. Avoidance Sammy tells her roommate, Gina, "I want to talk about how your friends come over all the time, make a lot of noise, eat our food, and leave a mess." Gina responds by crossing the hall to visit one of these friends who also lives in their apartment building. Gina is exhibiting which conflict style in this situation? Avoidance Lisa wants steak for dinner, but her partner wants seafood. Lisa says, "OK. Let's go to Outback, where they serve both." Lisa is demonstrating which conflict style? Collabortation "Yet another one of your brilliant ideas," says Mark sarcastically, while rolling his eyes at his partner, Elise. Which of Gottman's "four horsemen of the apocalypse" is Mark communicating to Elise? Contempt Whenever Jake and Garrett argue, they both say things they regret. Jake is always the first to apologize, an apology Garrett will return in kind, assuming half the responsibility for their squabble. They continue on happily until the next disagreement, followed by the same aftermath. This behavior is an example of a ____________. Conflict ritual When Tamara's father confronts her about repeatedly breaking curfew, Tamara retreats to her bedroom and locks the door. Which approach to conflict does this demonstrate? Complementary fight-flight Orientation toward disagreement and the preserving of face are both influenced by which variable that shapes conflict? Culture Arguments about ____________ can be especially strong in heterosexual relationships. Housekeeping Regardless of their cultural background, women in a survey of college students described men as being more interested in ____________ than in relational issues. content Before moving on to ____________, both people need to believe that they have been heard and that the potential issues related to their conflict are on the table. generating possible solutions A neutral third-party can help with dispute resolutions, especially with ____________ conflicts. workplace Which of the seven steps to conflict management addresses the possibility that people may walk away from conflict sessions believing they agree on a resolution, when in fact they do not? Follow up on the solution.
a
contempt can be communicated nonverbally through dramatic eye rolls or disgusted sighs
True
families who fall into a demand/withdraw pattern are likely to feel stressed and unhappy about their relationships
True
Blurters tend to be high in _______.
Verbal Aggressiveness
Competitive Conflict Cycle
Verbal attacks, exaggerated nonverbal actions (I win, you lose)
Which of the following are examples of the mere exposure effect?
We prefer our mirror image. Repetition of an advertisement results in increased sales.
Which of the following is an open question?
What do you think of the city's new rules to help prevent the spread of COVID?
Uncertainty Theory
When we lack important, relevant information about another person, we have difficulty predicting behavior in a conflict.
Which statement below best describes a difference between the content and relational dimensions of communication?
While there are a huge number of possible content messages, nearly all relational messages fit into one of only four categories.
Collaboration
Working together towards the same end. Partners believe the other's concerns and wants are just as important as their own
In the On the Job Feature "Picking Your Workplace Battles," your text states that management consultants offer all of the following guidelines for when to consider a retreat during conflict, except which one?
You are more powerful than those you are in conflict with.
Which listening response is the least helpful?
Your brother didn't call on your birthday, but it's only one day of the year. Let it go.
Which is a definitional characteristic of a family?
a common history
Messages that seem to challenge the image we want to project are referred to as ________
face-threatening acts
The two-______ theory of emotion states that arousal should intensify passionate feelings, such as feeling attracted to a date during a horror movie or while riding a roller coaster.
factor
"Just be yourself" is the best advice for everyone at work.
false
A conflict style is a personality trait that carries across all situations.
false
A task orientation listening style is effective because it focuses on the other person's feelings.
false
Compromising usually leads to win-win outcomes.
false
Divorced couples cite "money problems" as the primary challenge in their defunct marriages.
false
Families are defined primarily through their biological relationship or kinship systems.
false
First-order realities are those you consider most important.
false
High self-esteem guarantees interpersonal success.
false
In conversations, the speaker typically looks more at the person listening than the reverse.
false
Infrequent contact with close friends correlates with low levels of disclosure or obligation.
false
Liars' pupils tend to constrict because of the arousal associated with fib-telling.
false
Many conflicts remain unresolved because the people involved accept their interdependence.
false
More families identify as protective or laissez-faire than consensual or pluralistic.
false
Most relationships are either highly interpersonal or entirely impersonal.
false
Mutual romance and strictly platonic are the most complicated categories of heterosexual cross-sex friendships.
false
People afflicted by the fallacy of perfection often see themselves as victims of forces beyond their control
false
People generally value unsolicited advice.
false
According to companionate love, when two people stay in love after the first initial fire, their love becomes _______ and _______.
warm and dependable
We are more likely to like someone whom ______.
we interact with frequently
Controlling Communication
when a sender seems to be imposing a solution on the receiver, with little regard for that person's needs or interests; involves some attempt to control another person -Channels of this communication can range from words to gestures to tone of voice. -Control can be accomplished through status, insistence on obscure or irrelevant rules, or physical power. -No matter the object, channel, or form of control, the controller generates hostility. -Even if insisting on your own way leads to a short-term victory, the long-term consequences may not be worth it. -The unspoken message this behavior communicates is "I know what's best for you, and if you do as I say, we'll get along."
Problem Orientation
when communicators focus on finding a solution that satisfies both their own needs and those of the others involved -The goal here isn't to "win" at the expense of your partner but to work out some arrangement in which everybody feels like a winner. In other words, "win-win" problem solving is at play here and can help people find problem-oriented solutions. -This type of communication often contains "we" language, which suggests that the speaker is making decisions with rather than for the other people.
During ovulation, females prefer a mate ______.
with masculine features
Which type of friendship blurs personal-professional boundaries?
work spouse
3. Endorsement (CM)
you agree with or support another person. -strongest type of confirming message because it communicates the highest form of valuing. -"your right about that" -verbally/non-verbally
Although there's no "Keep Out" sign on your teenage sister's door, when it's closed and the TV is on, you and your parents know not to disturb her. This is an example of a(n) __________ in a family.
implicit rule
You immediately feel a bond with a stranger wearing a shirt with your school's name and mascot. This sense of kinship is common among __________
in-group members
Darley and Berscheid (1967) found that expecting to date someone _____ liking.
increases
Recognition
indicating your awareness of the other person -It's the most fundamental act of confirmation. -Can be done nonverbally through eye contact or a smile, or verbally with phrases like, "Glad to see you!" or, "I'll be right with you."
1. Recognition (CM)
indicating your awareness of the other person. -verbally/non-verbally -"glad to see you" -"ten feet and ten second" Retail
Couples who perceive their relationship to be _______ are more likely to experience marital distress.
inequitable
Strategies by which someone seeks to gain favor with another is called ______.
ingratiation
The opening stage for romantic relationships, friendships, and business partnerships is?
initiating
When we suppress the need to belong, the need ______.
intensifies
"Pleased" is a word that suggests a different degree of emotional __________ than "thrilled."
intensity
Defensiveness is ___________: all communicators contribute to the climate of a relationship?
interactive
Partners in a satisfying relationship are likely to view each other more benevolently than accurately. This tends to occur at which stage of the perception process?
interpretation
There is a significant amount of research suggesting that physical attractiveness ______ for the person who possess the trait.
is a positive asset
2. Acknowledgement (CM)
is a stronger form of confirmation than simple recognition. -"i see your point"
Invitational communication
is an approach that welcomes others to see your point of view and to freely share their own
Companionate love is different from passionate love in that passionate love ______.
is fated to become lukewarm
5. Equality
is put to the test when a person doesn't have superior skills yet is in a position of authority --treating ppl as someone -- truly secure person
you are careful not to criticize your manager to a coworker who is likely to share your opinion with others. Which guideline for disclosure are you following?
is the risk of disclosing reasonable?
1.Evaluation
judges another person, usually in a negative way. -- "YOU" --judge what the other person is feeling rather than describing the speaker's thoughts, feelings, and wants.
According to research, how many conflicts do we experience with friends?
one or two a day
Ghosting, stonewalling, and the silent treatment are all variations of ____________.
ostracism
The term that means the act of excluding or ignoring is ______.
ostracism
The term for excluding someone is ______.
ostracize
Prejudice is directed toward members of which group?
out-group
Much of the advice people offer on listening is __________.
overly simplistic
You were devastated when Game of Thrones ended and began writing fanfiction to keep the saga alive. What type of relationship might you have with these media characters?
parasocial
Couples who do exciting things together have an increase in adrenaline, and an increase in adrenaline is associated with ______ love.
passionate
After much resistance, chad finally agrees to go to the opera with his wife. As they are finding their seats he says sarcastically "Yeah, this is going to be a lot of fun". This is an example of which conflict style? a. competition b. Avoidance c. Direct aggression d. Passive aggression
passive aggression
Darius makes a deliberately critical joke about a colleague, Zoey, which he then dismisses by saying, "Just kidding, Zoey." Darius is using what kind of conflict style in this instance?
passive agression
Acknowledgement
paying attention to the ideas and feelings of others -A stronger form of confirmation than simple recognition. It conveys a use of your time and attention to focus on the other person and make them feel validated through hearing them out. It helps them to feel seen. -ex. Listening and responding to someone to demonstrate your concern; saying things like, "I see your point." or, "I can understand how you feel that way." communicates acknowledgement, regardless of whether you agree with what's being said
In what way is a communication climate unlike the weather?
people can change their communication climates
6. Provisionalism
people express openness to others' ideas and opinions. --"maybe", "perhaps", "possibly", "could"
"Is it just wishful thinking, or is she checking me out?" is an example of which activity?
perception check
Research supports the idea that to be really attractive is to be ______.
perfectly average
Once in love, women are more likely to focus on the intimacy part of love and men are more likely to focus on the ______ part of love.
physical
Ostracized people exhibit heighten activity in the brain cortex that is also activated in the response to ______.
physical pain
Ostracized people exhibit heightened brain activity in a brain cortex area that also is activated in response to:
physical pain
The four dimensions of intimacy are ________.
physical, intellectual, emotional, and shared activities
The ______ is the presumption that beautiful people possess other socially desirable traits, also known as the "what is beautiful is good" effect.
physical-attractiveness stereotype
Interaction is _____ related to liking.
positively
When Austrian students frequently question their teachers while Filipino students consider this behavior inappropriate, they are exhibiting values associated with which concept?
power distance
During infancy, keeping infants close to their caregivers can cause strong social attachment to serve as a _____.
powerful survival impulse
Explaining to an Amazon customer service representative why you should be refunded for the coffee table you bought online addresses which type of needs?
practical
In a tense situation, building rapport, establishing common ground, and perhaps picking up information are the goals of which activity?
ritual sharing
Combine sexual desire with a deepening friendship and the result is ______ love.
romantic
Knowing someone likes you can awaken _______ feelings in you.
romantic
When choosing whom to approach for a date, people often approach someone whose attractiveness _____ their own.
roughly matches
You teach self-defense classes on your campus. Helping others meet their __________ needs makes you feel like a worthwhile and valuable person, thereby satisfying your __________ needs on Maslow's hierarchy.
safety; self-esteem
Ellen Berscheid and colleagues (1969) found that students preferred other students who ______.
said only positive things about them
Politeness involves communicating in ways that __________ for both senders and receivers.
save face
In a conflict situation, time and affections can be perceived as _____?
scarce resources
Supportive messages for someone sharing a problem tend to be high in __________ pronouns and low in __________ pronouns.
second-person (you/your); first-person (I/my)
Someone who has trust and commitment in relationships probably had a ______ attachment as an infant.
secure
At a restaurant where a crowd is enjoying happy hour, you focus on your friend, filtering out all the other noise. This occurs in which stage of the perception process?
selection
While __________ involves focuses on only topics of interest, insulated listening involves tuning out unpleasant topics.
selective listening
Relationships where trust displaces anxiety and where we are free to open ourselves without fear of rejection are characterized by which of the following?
self disclosure
Being in touch with your emotions, also known as __________, is one of the 5 attributes of __________.
self-awareness; emotional intelligence
What do scholars call the relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself?
self-concept
Attachment styles, equity, and ______ influence the ups and downs of close relationships.
self-disclosure
Heather told another person her secret desires and perspectives; Heather is engaging in ______.
self-disclosure
Increased intimacy often brings about heightened _____.
self-disclosure
Friendship is described as a scheme for the mutual exchange of personal benefits and favors so that _____ can profit.
self-esteem
"Was that TMI?" is a question that reflects which feature of competent communication?
self-monitoring
Your brother rarely filters his observations and often makes insensitive comments that offend others. What skill does he need to work on?
self-monitoring
The little voice that whispers in your head is called __________.
self-talk
Superiority
sending patronizing messages either explicitly or implicitly -Any message that suggests "I'm better than you" is likely to arouse feelings of defensiveness in the recipients. -Research supports the notion that we dislike people who communicate superiority, especially when it involves an explicit comparison with others.
5. Superiority
sending patronizing messages either explicitly or implicitly. --"im better than you"
Being around a calm person who makes you feel more at peace is an example of emotional contagion.
true
Daughters who take care of elderly family members report being more satisfied when this relationship allows for autonomy
true
Friendships are created, managed, and maintained through communication.
true
It's healthy for loving couples to have both companionate and romantic affection for each other.
true
Most people focus on positive features and omit or downplay negative details from their online profiles
true
Which of the following assertions is true about communication climates?
understanding your communication climate puts you in a better position to change it
According to researchers Aron and Aron (1994), which of the relationship dynamics below describe the "essence of love" between two people in a love relationship?
Both retain individuality but have intertwined self-concepts.
"Ideas are not personal property" is a rule of which activity?
Brainstorming
What kind of messages judge another person, usually in negative way that lacks specifics?
Evaluative
People who act out angry feelings—even by hitting an inanimate punching bag—feel better than those who experience anger without acting out.
False
Pseudolisteners fail to look others in the eye or nod and smile because their minds are in another world.
False
Reappraisal often leads to higher stress and decreased productivity.
False
Social exchange theory features exchanges that are typically cold and calculating.
False
Spontaneity means blurting out what you're thinking as soon as an idea come to you.
False
The Reading Feature "Software Tackles Roommate Conflicts," Matt Unger, chief executive officer of Roompact, explains that his digital solutions for avoiding roommate conflict will eventually eliminate the need for face-to-face dialogue.
False
True or False: Liking is more complex and thus more difficult to study, compared with loving.
False
According to Sternberg's triangular theory, which type of love is characterized by a combination of passion and commitment?
Fatuous love
Which kinship position is part of a family suprasystem?
Grandmother
Which example best illustrates Marshall McLuhan's metaphor of a "global village"?
Helmut from Germany and Lin from China developing a friendship through Facebook
Which of the following statements about naming and identity is TRUE?
In 1900, the 20 most common names for baby girls in the United States included Bertha, Mildred, and Ethel
Psychologist Robert Sternberg views love as a triangle consisting of what three components?
Passion, intimacy, and commitment
As long as people perceive their goals to be mutually exclusive, the conflict is real
True
A relationship is best described as which if the following?
a process
disconfirming communication
signals a lack of regard
The idea that familiarity breeds fondness describes ______.
the mere exposure effect
