Ch. 11

marital equity

Fairness in the "work" of a married couple's life together. If a relationship lacks this, with one partner doing significantly more than the other, the outcome is typically marital dissatisfaction.

Holand's 6 Personality Work Types

Classification based on personality that uses answers to a career inventory to define one's top 3 types that would create personality-work fit

predictors of parent/spouse relationship

-pre-baby attachment to spouse -male involvement in caring for baby -high/low enthusiasm toward baby (they want/do not want it)

Gottman's Four Communication Styles for happy couples

1) engages in high ratio of +/- comments 2) doesn't take it personal during disagreements 3) sensitive to partner's need for space 4) listens non defensively to partner's complaints

1) divorced spouses who report miserable marriage 2) divorced spouses who report fairly good marital happiness

2 groups of divorced couples

1) spend more time with sons than daughters 2) major role in childcare is play(rough and tumble)

2 ways fathers act

more time

21st century mom's spend ______ time with their kids than earlier generations. (more or less).

-resembling the gloried/easy mother's experience -performing well regardless of child's temperment -meeting financial pressures for single moms

3 expectations/stresses of modern mothers

-male attitudes (self-efficacy and wanted child) -testosterone levels during pregnancy (lower) -personality(predicted stay-at-home dads)

3 predictors of father involvement and in which way they are involved

1) more career and job changes 2) time with family and working is less clear (tech advances) 3) more independent contract work

3 trends of the workforce overtime

increased testosterone, efficacy, power, and competecy

4 things that increase when we fall in love

Divorced women in the United States are ______ likely to remarry than divorced men.

60% less

realistic type

Enjoy working with machinery or tools; being outdoors or engaged in physical activity

role conflict

feeling conflicted between major responsibilities/roles which causes neither role to be fulfilled

sacrifice

giving up one's desires for their partner's joy

more

heterosexual parenthood produces _____ traditional roles with women taking most child care and housework responsibilities. (more or less)

nurturer father

husband who actively participates in hands-on child care-masculine ideal

The popularity of serial cohabitation _____ between 1960 and 2014.

increased significantly

commitment

inner attitudes that keep couples cemented together overtime

Work that provides fulfillment and allows a worker to satisfy his or her needs for creativity and autonomy has _____ rewards.

intrinsic career

According to Holland, the six personality types are:

investigative, artistic, social, entrepreneurial, conventional, and realistic.

work-life balance

involves balancing career demands with personal and family needs

Yes: relationships can be defined by actions and connection, not by legality No: cohabiting relationships can be more fragile and they are more likely to leave in times of stress (parenthood)

is being married better than cohabiting for life?

Della is a 72-year-old woman who chose not to have children. Based on research cited in the text, Della will likely report being _____ as/than people her age who are parents.

just as happy

Mark and Mia just had their first baby. They are likely to be _____ than their friends Jake and Jennifer who have no children.

less intimate and less happy

The deinstitutionalization of marriage was an outcome of the:

lifestyle revolution of the 1960s.

In national surveys, mothers of young children report _____ day-to-day happiness compared to women who are NOT parents or empty-nesters.

lower

early 20th century marriages

marriages rooted in love, lasting half a century or more, starting in 20s, and defined by traditional gender roles

marriages before 20th century

marriages that are arranged, family serving, and only last one decade

late 20th century marriages

marriages that balance gender roles; acceptance of divorce, rejection of marriage altogether, and acceptance of kids without married parents

boundaryless career

most common career path where you change jobs periodically during your working life

Who tends to get blamed for how children turn out?

mothers

equally happy

mothers report being _____ __________ compared to non-parents (happiness)

Often women exit the workforce or work part time because they:

must care for elderly parents.

high/low

parenthood is likely to lead to _____ wellbeing and _____ self-esteem for women. (high or low)

The three components of Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love are:

passion, intimacy, and commitment.

serial cohabitation

people living sequentially with different partners outside of marriage who are less likely to have marriage goals

happy married couples

people who report more happiness, are richer, more financially secure, live longer and healthier, and have a comforting partner

4 years into marriage

point in which married couples experience the deepest down slide in marriage

Bowlby

psychologist that would say the first 2 years of a relationship represent clear-cut attachment stage and the working-model stage may manifest risk for disconnection

Bowlby

psychologist who would think responsive attachment figures promote development at all ages

-better communication -more positive attitudes toward divorce if needed -difficult relationships with step children at first which can get progressively better

remarried people report...(3 patterns)

Kathryn and James know each other quite well after having dated for two years. They both feel passionate about each other but not ready to commit to marriage. Robert Sternberg would describe this couple as experiencing _____ love.

romantic

Among young people, interest in getting married has _____ in the United States in the last 40 years.

stayed the same

According to this chapter, with regard to family and work, traditional gender roles (still exist/no longer exist).

still exist

Marlo and Thomas were recently married. Marlo really wants the marriage to succeed because her own parents divorced when she was young, and she feels like the divorce had a negative impact on everyone's life in the family. For that reason, Marlo works really hard at her relationship with Thomas. In order to preserve her marriage, Marlo should NOT:

take pride in the fact that she is always the one making all the sacrifices.

Parenthood

tends to produce more traditional marital gender roles.

deinstitutionalization of marriage

the decline in marriage and the emergence of alternate family forms that occurred during the last third of the twentieth century

occupational segregation

the separation of men and women into different kinds of jobs that inherently pay different amounts

homogany

the tendency of people with similar characteristics to marry one another

Amato

thought people can be drawn to separate from a good marriage because they want to find their soul mate or because they do not feel automatic intimacy and passion for partner

Holand

thought the closer the personality-career fit, the more satisfied and successful we can be at our jobs

breadwinner role

traditional concept that a man's job is to support a wife and children

Despite being glad about the birth of her newborn son, Gracie describes her day-to-day happiness as at an all-time low. Based on the findings of surveys with mothers of young children, Gracie's experience is:

typical

less

unhappy marriages report ____________ happiness than singles

during/after pregnancy and in midlife

when women are most likely to take work hiatuses

elopement

when young people run away and elope without their parent's consent. This is common and modernly favored in India, but it was previously taboo.

Which factor does NOT influence the extent of a dad's hands-on care of children?

whether he is upper middle class

more likely

women are _______ ___________ to graduate than men

women who are overly optimistic about marriage

women who are more likely to be disappointed and exhibit learned helplessness when marital conflict arises

women who are generally optimistic

women who are more likely to handle marital conflicts well

Rob and Gina just had their first child. They will most likely shift their view of each other from lover to:

work mate

extrinsic career rewards

work performed for external reinforcement (pay) which is valued by those who struggle to meet security needs.

intrinsic career rewards

work that provides inner fulfillment and allows people to satisfy their needs for creativity, autonomy, and relatedness

80 cents

How much do women earn on average for every dollar earned by an man (2015)?

Which woman was LEAST likely to be married in 2014?

Inga, a 30-year-old Norwegian

Many people in this country likely view marriage as the only acceptable life path.

Iran

Which 26-year-old female would have the hardest time finding a marriage partner?

Jennifer, who is impoverished

_____ mothers admit to having a favorite child.

Many

Which statement is closest to the definition of the deinstitutionalization of marriage?

Marriage has become more of a personal choice.

Middle East Marriages

Marriages that follow the Shavia (Muslim) law which says marriage is the only acceptable path, only men can initiate divorce, men have total control over wives, women are to remain virgins until marriage, and men get assets and kids after divorce. First cousin marriage and child marriage also occur.

Nasreen and Sundeep live in India and have "eloped," which MOST likely means:

Nasreen and Sundeep have run away to get engaged.

less

Parenting makes couples feel ______ intimate and happy because their emphasis is shifted from each other onto the child (more or less)

Which couple most likely experiences consummate love, according to Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory?

Pat and Chris, who have been married for 24 years, describe each other as their "best friend" and report having a great sex life.

Construct a questionnaire to predict how heavily involved in child care a particular man is likely to be, and give it to some father your know.

Possible questions: (1) Are you a mellow person? (2) What was your relationship like with your own father? (3) Do you feel competent (and happy) about providing hands-on child care? (4) Did you really want this child? (5) Very important: How committed are you to being the primary breadwinner?

core self-evaluation

Represents a broad personality trait comprising four positive individual traits: (1) self-efficacy, (2) self-esteem, (3) locus of control/optimism, and (4) emotional stability; predicted work happiness and success.

Which couple is NOT demonstrating one of John Gottman's communication styles for thriving, healthy couples?

Sam and Josh, who never fight

Gina says, "I am trying to do exciting things with my spouse." Mark says, "I'm passionate about focusing on my wife's well-being." Explain in a sentence why each strategy promotes marital happiness.

Sharing mutually exciting activities cements passion. Commitment grow out of (and is embodied by) feeling devoted to a partner's well-being.

Your sister tells you, "I really like Bill, and we get along fine, but I do not really feel all that fulfilled in my marriage. I'm thinking about getting a divorce." Based on information about divorce, what would be the best advice to give your sister?

She should really think hard before getting a divorce.

Jenna and Charlie, a married couple, are expecting their first child. According to the research, how might their marital satisfaction change after having the baby? What forces will predict coping well with this change?

Statistically speaking, you would expect this couple's marital satisfaction to decline. This couple is most apt to cope well if Jenna and Charlie communicated well before the baby and if Charlie is an involved, caring dad.

intimacy and commitment

Sternberg's companionate marriages

triangular theory of love

Sternberg's idea that three components (intimacy, passion, and commitment, in various combinations) can explain all the forms of human love

passion and commitment

Sternberg's purely sexual marriages

intimacy and passion

Sternberg's romantic love

consummate love

Sternberg's strongest and most enduring type of love, based on a balanced combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Which person is demonstrating a commitment to his partner?

Steve, who works hard to support his partner's growth

Your grandmother is complaining that children today don't get the attention from their parents that they god in the "good old days." How should you respond, based on this chapter? Be specific with regard to both mothers and fathers.

Tell grandma that's not true! Parents are spending more time with their children than in the past. Moms do far more hands-on teaching - even when they have full-time jobs. And of course, fathers are also much more involved, Not only are dads spending more time playing, particularly with their sons, but depending on the person, they are even doing more routine care.

U-shaped curve of marital satisfaction

The most common pathway of marital happiness in the West, in which satisfaction is highest at the honeymoon, declines during the child-rearing years, then rises after the children grow up.

In a sentence or two, spell out one advantage and one serious disadvantage of being self-employed.

Theoretical advantage of the gig economy: being able to direct when and where you work; clear disadvantage: more job and economic insecurity

Which statement about people with high core self-evaluations is false?

They will make more money during midlife whether or not they earn a college degree.

Vanessa, a bubbly, outgoing 30-year-old, has what her friends see as a perfect job: She's a researcher in a one-person office, with flexible hours; she has a large, quiet workspace; a boss who is often away; job security; and great pay. Yet Vanessa is unhappy with the job. According to Holland's theory, what is the problem?

Vanessa's isolated work environment doesn't fit her sociable personality. She needs ample chances to interact with people during the day.

uneducated women

Women most likely to be unmarried and pregnant

Your best friend (who has children) is getting remarried. Without being excessively negative, explain frankly why her new relationship can be at risk.

You may more quickly contemplate leaving your new spouse when you disagree. Your children are apt to feel threatened by your new relationship, and may place barriers to your getting along.

Malia and her husband work full time. Statistically speaking, you can make two of the following predictions: a. Malia will probably take more time off from work for family caregiving. b. Malia will earn less than her spouse. c. Malia will be less well-educated than her spouse.

a and b

Akisha, a new mother, is feeling unexpectedly stressed and unhappy. She and other mothers might cope better if they experience which two of the following? a. had a less rosy, more accurate picture about motherhood from the media. b. had more experts giving them parenting advice. c. had less pressure placed on them from the outside world to "be perfect."

a and c

Jared is describing marriage around the world today. Which two statements can he make? a. In Saudi Arabia, divorced women are still socially shunned. b. In the United States, we no longer believe in marriage. c. In India, traditional arranged marriages are in decline.

a and c

Michael, age 30, has just begun his career. Compared to his father, who entered his career in the 1990s, what two predictions can you make for Michael? a. Michael will be more likely than his dad to work from home. b. Michael will work fewer hours per week than his dad. c. Michael is more likely to be an independent contractor, selling his skills to different employers.

a and c

traditional stable career

a career path in which people settle into their permanent life's work in their twenties and often stay with the same organization until they retire. This was common in the 20th century, but it is now atypical

Serial cohabitation is _____ the deinstitutionalization of marriage.

a consequence of

shotgun wedding

a hurried or forced wedding that occurs because the woman became pregnant before marriage.

role overload

a job situation that places so many requirements or demands on workers that it becomes impossible to do a good job

One disadvantage of a boundaryless career is:

a lack of concern by corporations for the long-term welfare of their employees.

In describing marriage versus cohabitation, what should Sonia say? a. Couples who cohabit are more likely to be poor b. Being married is always a better way of ensuring a relationship will last.

a only

Jonas has a committed, loving relationship with his wife of 20 years. Jonas probably does NOT have:

a tendency to take negative comments personally.

The text describes compassion as ______ sacrifice.

an ingredient of

compassion

being devoted to partner's well being

According to the text, women may rediscover their sexuality after divorce thanks to a:

burst in testosterone.

Three couples are celebrating their 25th anniversaries. Which relationship has followed the "classic" marital pathway? a. After being extremely happy with each other during the first three years, Ted and Elena now find that their marriage has gone steadily downhill. b. Stavros and Betty's marriage has had many unpredictable ups and downs over the years. c. Dave and Erika's marital satisfaction declined, especially during the first four years, but has dramatically improved now that their children have left home.

c

According to some research, the core quality essential for long-term relationship success is:

commitment

Lenore and Joseph have an "empty marriage." They will not get a divorce but have not had sex with each other in years and do not feel very close emotionally. Robert Sternberg would describe this couple as having which component of love?

commitment

Lorelei and Jenson have been together in a committed relationship for many years. They know each other well, describe loving each other more each day, and do not place much importance on having sex, which they have infrequently. They consider themselves "best friends." Robert Sternberg would describe this couple as experiencing _____ love.

companionate

Happy couples:

confine themselves to the problem.

Richard has an interest in manipulating data and getting things organized. His friends are always asking him to help them organize their finances and paperwork for taxes. Richard is considering a career as an accountant, which would fit with John Holland's personality type known as:

conventional

The combination of passion, commitment, and intimacy called consummate love, tends to _____ over time.

decline

Rachel and Geoffrey are new parents. If they are like most new parents, their marital happiness will probably _____ after this life change.

decrease

According to the U-shaped curve of marital satisfaction, marriages are happiest:

during the honeymoon and empty-nest stages.

empty marriages

emotionally barren, loveless marriage where people stay together physically but live separate lives

artistic type

enjoy being creative and nonconforming; enjoy expressing themselves in the arts

Investigative type

enjoy finding out things by doing research, analyzing information, or collecting data

social type

enjoy helping others and interacting with other human beings

entrepreneurial type

enjoy leading others and working towards large-scale organizational goals

conventional type

enjoy manipulating data and small-scale organizational goals

According to the text, people who are married for the second time:

express more positive attitudes towards divorce.

Chang dislikes his job at a manufacturing company but is motivated by a paycheck that allows him to support his family. Chang is receiving _____ rewards.

extrinsic career

When one's work motivation is solely prestige or a high salary, the job is performed for _____ rewards.

extrinsic career

Describe the triangular theory to a friend and give an example of (a) romantic love, (b) consummate love, and (c) a companionate marriage. Can you think of couples who fit each category? At what stage of life are couples more likely to have companionate marriages?

According to Sternberg, by looking at three dimensions - passion, intimacy, and commitment - and exploring their combinations, we can get a portrait of all the partner love relationships that exist in life. By exploring how these facets change over time, we can also understand why marital happiness might naturally decline over the years. (a) This couple is extremely emotionally involved (has intimacy and passion) but has not decided to get married or enter a fully committed relationship. (b) This couple has is all: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Most likely, they are newlyweds. (c) This couple is best friends (intimate) and married (committed) but no longer passionate. Couples who have been married for decades are most likely to have companionate marriages.

fertility rates

Average number of children a woman have in given countries which is continuing to decline in developed countries