Ch.3 Attending and Empathy Skills

Aim for ___ responses.

interchangeable

What is the most essential for empathic understanding?

listening carefully and hearing the client accurately

mirror neurons

neurons that fire when a human or other primate acts and when they observe actions by another

Talk time

-adults > counselor - less verbal clients or young children < counselor

Visual/eye contact

-breaks in eye contact or visual fixation, vocal tone, and body shifts can indicate a sign of uncomfortableness -cultures vary in eye contact -people of disabilities: blind pick up on tone and the deaf pick up on body language

additive empathy

-counselor responses may add something beyond what the client has said -may be adding a link to something the client said earlier, or may be a congruent idea or frame of reference that helps the client see a new perspective

basic (interchangeable) empathy

-counselor responses roughly interchangeable with those of client -counselor able to say back accurately what client has said -skilled intentional competence with basic listening sequences shows basic empathy -most common counselor comment level in helping -Rogers: listening is sufficient to produce change for client

empathy

-listen carefully, enter the world of the client, and communicate that we understand the client's world as the client sees and experiences it - putting yourself "into another person's shoes" or viewing the world "through someone else's eyes and ears" -

usefulness of silence

-makes the brain sensitive -small gestures during silent times may appear like one is attending to the client -some clients may not like silence, so continue with a question or relevant comment

Verbal tracking: following the client or changing the topic

-staying with client's topic to encourage full elaboration of the narrative -change in topic may = feeling uncomfortable

Vocal qualities: tone and speech rate

-verbal underlining: the key words a person underlines by means of volume and emphasis are often concepts of particular importance -lower speech volume: critical issues that are difficult to talk about

Central points:

1) aim to understand clients' experience and worldview in a nonjudgmental supportive fashion 2) seek to communicate that understanding to the client, but avoid mixing "your own thing" in with what you say

The "Three V's + B" to listening and attending behavior

1) visual/eye contact: look when speaking to person 2) vocal qualities: communicate warmth and interest 3) verbal tracking: stay with client's topic 4) body language: authenticity is essential to building trust

What is the most critical skill of listening?

Attending behavior

__ is the connective force of conversation and of empathic understanding.

Attention

subtractive empathy

Counselor responses give back to the client less than what the client stated, and perhaps even distort what has been said. In this case, the listening or influencing skills are used inappropriately.

Body Language: Attentive and Authentic

What determines a comfortable interpersonal distance is influenced by multiple factors: -gender: women tend to feel more comfortable with closer distances -personality: introverts need more distance -age: children and the young -topic of conversation: difficult topics may call for more distance - personal relationships: friends or couples tend to be closer when there's harmony; disappears when there's no harmony -ability: disabled people

selective attention

attend stimuli in a way that focuses on coping with the environment and what is near at hand

listening

central skill of attending behavior and is core to developing a relationship and making real contact with our clients

There are three types of empathy

subtractive empathy, basic (interchangeable empathy), and additive empathy

attending behavior

supporting your client with individually and culturally appropriate verbal following, visuals, vocal quality, and body language

the value of redirecting attention

times when it may be inappropriate to attend to the here and now of client statement, such as when a client may talk repeatedly about the same topic