Chapter 14: Divorce and Relationship Dissolution

parental relationships after divorce

1. binuclear family 2. parallel parents 3. co-parenting

the stations of divorce

1. emotional divorce 2. legal divorce 3. community divorce 4. psychic divorce 5. economic divorce

reasons for negative impact of divorce on children

1. life stress perspective 2. parental loss perspective 3. parental adjustment perspective 4. economic hardship perspective 5. interparental conflict perspective 6. selection perspective 7. the family instability perspective

3. co-parenting

a "team" approach to raising children with the goal of working together to meet the children's emotional and financial needs.

covenant marriages

a type of legal marriage in which the bride and groom agree to be bound by a marriage contract that will not let them get divorced as easily as is allowed under no-fault divorce laws. -concerned about the sanctity of marriage, the impact on children of marital impermanence. -fault for all divorces; a waiting period of as long as 5 years; a two-tier divorce process, with a more extensive process for divorces involving children; prioritization of children's needs in post divorce financial arrangements; requirement of a "parenting plan" to be negotiated prior to granting a divorce; and publicizing research that would convince the public of the risks of divorce.

long-term effects of divorce on children

age, sex, and race/ethnicity of the child -a word of caution: parents should not assume that their child is going to do wonderfully/terribly because of divorce.

divorce mediation

an alternative, nonadversarial means of dispute resolution by which a couple, with the assistance of a mediator or mediators (frequently a lawyer-therapist team), negotiate the settlement of their custody, support, and property.

6. selection perspective

at least some of the child's problems after the divorce were present before the marriage.

high-conflict marriage that does not end in divorce:

bad because "staying for the children" is not healthy -not bad to see parents fighting CONSTRUCTIVELY in front of kids.

joint custody

both divorced parents continue to take equal responsibility for important decisions regarding the child's general upbringing.

low-conflict marriage that does end in divorce

challenging for children- blindsighted because it came out of nowhere.

5. economic divorce

dividing finances, assets, what you own, etc. most animosity in divorce. tangible thing that they can fight about. -prenups

unilateral divorce

divorce under the no-fault system by one partner even if the other partner objects. -greater societal acceptance of divorce came lessening legal restorations on divorce.

problems with children

fighting in front of and through children term-45-children experiencing conflicting loyalty -less-frequent contact with both parents or non-custodial parent -financial consequences -parents' intimate relationships transitions past divorce.

income-to-needs ratio

how well income meets financial needs of individual, family, and household.

are people happier after divorce?

immediately after divorce, divorced people: -have lower levels of life satisfaction -more negative general mood -poorer physical health -more depressed -somewhat more inclined to suicide. -as time passes after divorce, people report being happier than they were when married. -those in unhappy marriages tend to be more depressed than divorced individuals.

child support

involves money paid by the noncustodial to the custodial parent to support the children of a now-ended marital, cohabiting, or sexual relationship.

child custody

joint custody vs. sole custody- most of the time joint custody (unless one parent is abusive/detrimental to child- then they will not grant joint custody) -legal: who has the right to make decisions with respect to a child's upbringing -physical: refers to where a child will live. -children in joint custody were far better off in the long run. -increase in joint custody over the years -most custodial parents are women, but more fathers being awarded sole-custody. -non-resident, involved fathers can still have much influence on their children.

4. economic hardship perspective

money changes after parents get divorced. change in economic lifestyle-- each had our own bedroom, to now sharing a room.

intergenerational transmission of divorce

once people get divorced in your family, divorce is much more likely to occur in your generation.

Today's High US Divorce Rate

one average 40-50% of marrieds can expect to have their marriages dissolve over the life course. -the divorce rate is about 50% for first marriages. -the divorce rate is about 65% for second marriages.

2. Parallel parenting

parents who parent alongside each other but with minimal contact, communication, or conflict.

5. interparental conflict perspective

parents will fight in front of and through children during marriage/time of divorce. -using children as messenger

3. personal happiness ethic

partner is not responsible for your happiness. focus on being a better person and finding your own happiness (not due to partner). happiness rubs off on partner.

stress-related growth

persona growth and maturity attained in the context of a stressful life experience such as divorce.

silver, or gray, divorce

phenomenon of divorce seen among older couples following long-term marriages; particularly true for baby boomers born between 1946 and 1964.

3. parental adjustment perspective

poor health, bad mood, and depression during divorce-- affects parenting and children.

contemplating divorce: would I be happier?

previously unhappy married couples who did not divorce and who turned their marriages around fell into 3 broad types: 1. the marital endurance ethic 2. the marital work ethic 3. the personal happiness ethic there is no correlation between current marital happiness and future marital happiness.

4. psychic divorce

psychological. go from "we" to "I". can make decisions on your own.

divorce fallout

refers to ruptures of relationships and changes in social networks that come about as a result of divorce.

factors associated with divorce

remarried mates are more likely to divorce -cohabitation before marriage increases the likelihood of divorce -premarital pregnancy may increase the risk of divorce in a subsequent marriage. -remaining child-free is associated with higher likelihood of divorce-- children are constraints in marriage "the glue" of the marriage. -lower social class is associated with higher likelihood of divorce-- economics and poverty: struggles associated

3. community divorce

split up social aspects: friends, church, gym, in-laws cut off, etc.

1. marital endurance ethic

stick it out. recognize that sometimes you have rough patches. -ex: newborn stage

7. the family instability perspective

stresses that the number of transitions in and out of various family settings is the key to children's adjustment. -family fluidity: the frequency and rate of changes in family related experiences and outcomes

1. life stress perspective

stressful events for children in times of divorce-- moving into new home, changing school, new state-- events all happening at once.

a more optimistic view of outcome for children of divorced parents

study of 1400 stable and divorces marriages and their children, some for almost 30 years. -found that 25% of the children of divorce has long-term social, emotional, or psychological problems, compared to 10% of those whose parents had not divorced -75-80% of children were coping reasonably well throughout childhood and into adult hood.

1. Binuclear family

the child is the "nucleus" in two households within one family. child is the center. -cooperative parenting (pals or colleagues)

divorce divide

the large disparity in divorce rates between those with and without a college degree. -divorce rate has declined among those who are college educated but not among the less educated.

refined divorce rate

the number of divorces per 1000 married women.

crude divorce rate

the number of divorces per 1000 population.

Levinger's model of divorce decisions

this model, derived from exchange theory, presents a decision to divorce as involving a calculus of the barriers to divorce, the rewards of the marriage, and alternatives to the marriage. -model of deciding about divorce allows spouses to compare the benefits of their current union to the projected consequences of not being married.

why are couples divorcing?

various factors can bind marriages and families together, but the binding strength of some of these factors has lessened. -economic reasons for marriage -legal, social, and moral constraints -higher expectations for marriage: expanding lifespans -changed nature of marriage itself: more emotional relationship -intergenerational transmission of divorce -"starter marriages": first marriage is not idealistic and ends in divorce within the first few years. not the dream marriage.

2. marital work ethic

we need to work at problem with therapy, more vacations, spending more time together, etc.

2. legal divorce

went through the legal process to get divorced. can tell from the outside that they are divorced.

parentification

when children of divorce or those forma. single parent home are forced to take on adult responsibilities before they are developmentally mature enough to handle them; linked to worse child outcomes.

2. parental loss perspective

when parents are divorced, children does not have accessibility to both parents. parent #1 house and parent #2 house. choose between my parents.

1. emotional divorce

when someone withholds affection/bonding. can happen years before legal divorce. 1st type of divorce you experience.

economic factors

wives in the labor force 1. income effect: wives not dependent on husband's income 2. independence effect: strong enough psychologically

economic consequences of divorce for men and women

women are the losers -men's and women's unequal wages and employment patterns -"equitable" division of tangible and intangible assets in divorce. -child support is low and often unpaid. -men will lose anywhere from 8-41% of family income (combined) after divorce.