Chapter 2 interpersonal communication

What did Goffman identify?

social concepts -face=impression we want others to have of us -impression management=how we persuade others to see us as we want to be seen

What does social media do to personal identity?

-provides direct definitions and reflected appraisals -cyberbullying -sources for social comparison (face book, snapchat, etc.)

What are the guidelines for improving self-concept?

-set goals that are realistic and fair -seek contexts that support personal change - avoid self-sabotage through negative self-talk -accept constructive criticism

Who are particular others?

-specific people who are significant to us, such as family and friends -internalized messages from childhood -direct definition -reflected appraisal --self-fulfilling prophecies -social comparison -identity scripts (rules) -attachment styles

How to enhance your self-concept and achieve self- compassion?

-talk with yourself (out loud, if possible) like you are your best friend - "try on" the belief that you are worthy regardless of the treatment you receive, faults, mistakes, etc. -conduct a positive self-audit -eliminate self-criticism and judgement -do not compare yourself negatively with others -let go of excessive guilt and shame -reframe negative experiences -eliminate toxic relationships -surround yourself with people who accept you unconditionally as you are -do not project your needs onto others -choose happiness and piece of mind -take great care of yourself and know that only you know what you need at any given moment -eliminate negative reactions -totally appreciate what you already have -always treat yourself with self-compassion -pass your compassion onto others

What are some other perspectives of self?

-the self is multidimensional -the self is a process -social perspectives are subject to change --socially constructed views are not fixed and permanent --social views within cultures vary across time

What is the generalized other?

-the views generally held by others in society within and among groups

When to self disclose?

-use when appropriate -gain self-knowledge -cathartic -affirm self definition -ethical -increase positive regard in relationships

How are the perspectives of the generalized other revealed to us?

-we learn them as we interact with others, who have internalized cultural values and pass them on to us -we learn them through media and institutions that reflect cultural values -the institutions that organize our society communicate the views of the generalized other by the values they uphold/reinforce

What is the self?

-a multidimensional process of internalizing and acting from social perspectives -how we see ourselves depends on the culture in which we live -arises in communication with others --perspective of particular others --perspective of the generalized other

What are important categories that influence identity?

-culture= we internalize values and norms -race=impact of white privlege, inequality and the social construction of race -gender=expectations for men/ women such as the "man code" -sexual orientation -socioeconomic class

How do you tune into your "authentic self"?

-detach from your thoughts and feelings which are always changing and do not define your real self -access a deeper place within that transcends the ups and downs of the outside world - visualize leaving the surface of the ocean and going underneath -look at pictures of yourself during your childhood and try to connect with the permanent part of you -find your "own voice" amidst the noise in your head and the outside world -spend as much time as you can in your authentic self -when stuck, put your problems in the "nopper" and wait for a solution to appear - know that you can stay in your authentic self and still lead an effective life -become highly aware of what aspect of your psyche you are in -practice moving among your thoughts, feelings and authentic self

What are some culture and racial differences?

-individualistic v. collectivistic -competitive v. cooperative -high context v. low context -orientation towards time -nuclear family v. kinship network -power distance

What are the guidelines for improving self-concept?

-make a firm commitment to personal growth -gain and use knowledge to support personal growth --you need to understand how your self-concept is formed --you need information about yourself

What areas are in Johari's window?

-open -blind -hidden -unknown

What are attachment styles?

-patterns of caregiving that teach us who we and others are and how to approach relationships -secure -fearful -dismissive -anxious/ambivalent