Chapter 7: Building Social Relationships Intimacy and Families

Divorce

Associated with socioeconomic development Religious suppression of divorce Societal values of divorce is not high

Anxiety over the "good ol' days" of family life

Calls for a return to the "good ol' days" are calls for a return to something that has never truly existed. By glorifying a mythical and idealized past, we artificially limit ourselves to an inaccurate image of what we think a "normal" family ought to look like.

Child abuse and neglect

Children are even more likely to be victims of intimate violence than adult family members. In some poverty-stricken countries, children may be consigned to unpleasant and dangerous labor, sold to buy food for the rest of the family, or even murdered in infancy if their parents don't want them or can't afford them. Because of the small size of victims compared to their abusers, child abuse can sometimes be fatal

Historical Roles of family

Economic center of society the family was where children received most of their education and religious training. where both children and adults could expect to receive emotional nurturing and support. It was the institution that regulated sexual activity and reproduction. Roles changed with the shift to industrial manufacturing

Nature of work

Family conflict depends on a family's place in the class system US family policies lagging behind those other countries

Family

Family is an exclusive term consists of "two or more persons, including the householder, who are related by birth, marriage, or adoption, and who live together as one household" family has many practical implications. Benefits such as parental rights, inheritance rights, insurance coverage, spousal immigration benefits, savings from joint tax returns, the ability to make medical decisions for another person, and visitation rights in prisons and hospital intensive care units are determined by marital or family status. nuclear family and extended family

Trends in Divorce

Higher separation rates Hidden martial separation

life expectancy changes

In the 19th century, U.S. adults had a shorter life expectancy than adults today, so due to the death of a parent, children were actually more likely then than they are now to live in a single-parent home

Childcare

Increase in time spent by parents Data on childcare arrangements for children younger than age 6 Challenges for parents working nonstandard schedules Cost of childcare calculated through the lens of women's earnings Childcare workers: Poverty-level wages, no benefits

Change, Continuity, and Diversity in Family work

Increase in women's labor force participation Increase in time men spread on housework and childcare Gendered communities in family labor Lack of social policies to support families, reinforces the ideal worker norm Gender and class shape patterns and challenges of family labor Same-sex couples also influenced by gendered expectation

Intimate Violence in a Cultural COntext

Individual-level factors such as frustration over money, stress, and alcohol and drug use are frequently cited as major causes of domestic violence Intimate-partner abuse and child abuse occur in every culture, class, race, and religion. It is not an aberration; it is a fundamental characteristic of the way we relate to one another in private, intimate settings

Trends in family structure

Influence of life expectancy Influence of gender and race Reduction in average household size Influence of migration

racial and Ethnic Endogamy

It was believed that a mixing of the races (then referred to as "mongrelization") would destroy the racial purity (and superiority) of Whites Legal sanctions against interracial marriage persisted well into the 20th century about half of the black-white couples in one study felt that biracial marriage makes things harder for them, and about two thirds reported that their parents had a problem with the relationship, at least initially Everyday activities may require more time and effort for interracial couples than for couples of the same race.

Care work

Lattice work around which family life is structured

Endogamy

Limits intimate choices to people with certain groups Example: marrying someone of same religion Types of endogamy (1) Religious endogamy (2) Racial and ethnic endogamy (3) Social class endogamy These rules of endogamy—or what some sociologists call "assortative mating"—increase the likelihood that the couple will have similar backgrounds and therefore share common beliefs, values, and experiences.

Women and men's employment since 1950

Macro-level changes encouraged women's employment Lingering influences of separate spheres ideology Women's employment trajectories shaped by resources

Influence of law and politics

Marriage is a legal contract that determines lawful rights and responsibilities each state legislature determines the age at which two people can marry, the health requirements, the length of the waiting period required before marriage, rules determining inheritance, and the division of property in case of divorce By court order, a third person—referred to as a "de facto parent"—can be granted the same legal rights as the biological or adoptive parents if he or she has been "acting as a parent" to the child.

Children, Divorce, and Single parenting

May lead to series of potentially disruptive changes Relationship with noncustodial parent tends to deteriorate Child in single-parent home tend to have more problems

How other institutions influence family

Military families Influence of law and politics Influence of religion Influence of economics How social diversity influences family

Influence of Economics

Money matters are closely tied to feelings of satisfaction within family relationships. When couples are disappointed with how much money they have or how it is spent, they find all aspects of their relationships less satisfying When economic foundations are weak, the emotional bonds that tie a family together can be stretched to the breaking point. Financial problems are not just private troubles- companies have reduced their costs by cutting salaries, laying off workers, or encouraging early retirement.

Child-rearing philosophies

Most people in the United States believe that young children are inherently helpless and dependent: They feel that if parents attend to the child's drives and desires with consistency, warmth, and affection, that child will learn to trust the parents, adopt their values, develop a sturdy self-concept, and turn out to be a well-rounded, normal individual. highlands of Guatemala, parents believe that their child's personality is determined by the date of birth. Parents in this region are almost entirely uninvolved in the child's life, standing aside so he or she can grow as nature intended.

In U.S. society, families tend to follow the rules of ___

Neolocal residence

Corporate flexibility in the US with family conflict

Parents worry about consequences of family leave Motherhood penalty: mothers earn less than women without children Fatherhood bonus: Fathers earn more than men without children

Decrease in motherhood wage penalty for high-earning women

Persistent for low earning women Increase in fatherhood bonus for high-earning men

Housework

Rapid change yet persistent gender-based inequality Factors affecting time spent by men and women on housework Women spend more time on housework than men

alcohol /drug abuse /work changes in family

Rates of alcohol and drug abuse, domestic violence, and school dropouts were higher a century ago than they are today contrary to popular belief, father-breadwinner/mother-homemaker households were not the only family form in the 19th and early 20th centuries.

Exogamy

Requires one to have a relationship with someone outside certain social groups Entering into physical, intimate relationships with fellow members of some of these groups is considered inappropriate. Example- not marrying one's cousin Different cultures apply rules differently Opposition to romantic relationships between co-workers, between college students who live on the same dorm floor (called "dormcest"), or between athletes who participate in the same sport (for instance, "swimcest")

Macro level perspectives on housework

Shows close ties between housework and gender inequality in the larger society

masochism thesis

That women like being humiliated and hurt—was the predominant reason offered by psychiatrists as to why women stay in abusive relationships when divorce is an option All these explanations focus on the individual victim while paying little attention to her social situation.

Religious Endogamy

Throughout history, Only people with the same religious background were allowed to marry. Marrying outside one's religion is more common than it once was in industrialized countries, however, because greater mobility and freer communication bring people from diverse religious backgrounds into contact. religious leaders—from most religious traditions—still actively discourage interfaith marriages.

Models explaining continual gender gap in the house

Time availability Power dependency The gender perspective and doing gender Evidence for gender perspective limitation of the power-dependency model Relationship between income and housework is different for men and women

Normalization of Divorce

U.S. divorce rate has declined a bit since reaching a peak in 1981 Yet it still remains high, especially compared with other industrialized countries in the United States tends to be unaffected by religious restrictions or political conservatism Women's increasing earning power and decreasing economic dependence on men have made it easier to end an unsatisfying marriage.

Life with others

We judge our well-being through quality and quantity of relationships People are more mobile, more likely to break social ties Isolation is tied to individualism Despite the inevitable conflicts in close relationships and the difficulties of maintaining these ties in an individualistic, mobile, high-tech society, people still place a high value on belonging and intimacy and take great pains to achieve them Many people find the sense of belonging they crave in these small groups of friends and like-minded neighbors and co-workers.

Defining Carework

Work necessary to maintain a household and care for family members Mainly unpaid and in private sphere Some engage in care work as paid job Feeding work Housework Kin work Consumption work Cognitive dimension of care work adds to the burden

Intimate partner violence

Worldwide, nearly one third of women who have been in a relationship have experienced physical and/or sexual violence at the hands of an intimate partner, and 38% of murders of women are committed by a male intimate partner. Female victims are also more likely than male victims to suffer psychologically (e.g., from depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem) and socially (e.g., isolation from friends). The economic costs can be steep, too. very low reporting

Nuclear Family

a unit consisting of parents and siblings.

Influence of religion

all the major religions in the United States are strong supporters of marriage and childbearing. highly religious families, a sacred text such as the Bible, the Qur'an, or the Talmud may serve not only as a source of faith but as a literal guidebook for every aspect of family life, from dating, marriage, and sexuality to child discipline, responses to illness and death, and household division of labor.

Polygamy

allow an individual to have several husbands or wives at the same time polygamy is an adaptation to population or economic conditions.

Household

composed of one or more people who occupy the same housing unit.

rise in divorce in the late 20th century has been attributed to ___

cultural movement toward "swinging singles, open marriages, alternative lifestyles, and women's liberation" rose sharply right after the war, most likely because of short courtships before the young men shipped out and the subsequent stress of separation.

traditional gender role socialization for women v/s man

encourages women to be sensitive, express affection, and reveal weakness, whereas men are taught to be competitive, strong, and emotionally inexpressive Research shown that women have more close friends than men and are more romantic in their intimate relationships Both married men and married women live longer and healthier lives than their single counterparts husbands typically are sick less often and have fewer emotional problems married women are more likely than married men to experience the stresses associated with parenthood and homemaking.

Cultural Variation in Intimacy and Family

from a structural-functionalist perspective, families all address similar societal needs. the way families go about meeting these needs—their structure, customs, patterns of authority, and so on—differ widely across cultures.

No-fault laws

have eliminated the requirement that one partner be found guilty of some transgression. Instead, marriages are simply declared unworkable and terminated. Some states, like Vermont, New Jersey, North Carolina, and South Carolina, have mandatory "cooling off" periods that require couples to be separated for 6 months to a year before filing for divorce

Conflict perspective with intimate violence

in a society reluctant to punish male abusers, many women may perceive that they have no alternatives and may feel physically, economically, and emotionally trapped in their relationships most women actively try to end their victimization.

"golden age" of family belief

led some to depict the present as a period of rapid decline and inevitable family breakdown Critics often pessimistically cite high divorce rates, large numbers of out-of-wedlock births, changing gender roles (most notably, the increase in working mothers), and a de-emphasis on marriage as signs of trouble for contemporary families

Rate of Hidden marriage

marital separation 100 years ago was probably not that much less than the rate of "visible" separation today For financial or religious reasons, divorce was not an option for many people in the past. For instance, divorce rates actually fell during the Great Depression of the 1930s. With jobs and housing scarce, many couples simply couldn't afford to divorce

Family life for woman of color

more effected by economic necessity Black domestic servants, for instance, were often forced to leave their own families and live in their employer's home, where they were expected to work around the clock.

Trends in households

myth regarding U.S. families of the past is that of the primacy of the extended family with several generations living under the same roof research shows that U.S. families have always been fairly small and primarily nuclear When households of the past were large, it was probably due to the presence of nonfamily members: servants, apprentices, boarders, and visitors.

Extended Family

other kin, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Clear sign of those migrating to the US of "becoming American"

people migrated to the United States from countries that did have a tradition of extended families, such as China, Greece, and Italy, often their first order of business was to leave their extended family members so they could create their own households. Reducing the size of their families was seen as a clear sign that they had become American. Large, multigenerational families simply didn't make economic sense.

Social Class Endogamy

powerful determinant of whom we choose to marry. people face strong pressures to choose marital partners of similar social standing, based on wealth, income, and educational attainment heterosexual marriages look as if they are becoming more class endogamous. As women's income relative to men's has increased, the pay gap between spouses in opposite-sex couples has shrunk

Social Diversity and Intimate Choices

sense of belonging and closeness that comes from intimate, romantic relationships has become one of the prime obsessions of the 21st century. The choices they make regarding who to date, live with, or marry are governed by two important social rules that limit the field of eligible partners: exogamy and endogamy.

Monogamy

the practice of being married to only one person at a time, is the fundamental building block of the family. monogamous marriage remains the core component of our image of family monogamous marriage remains the cultural standard against which all other types of intimate relationships are judged.

Family and social structure

the sociological imagination encourages us to think about how social forces affect this aspect of our private lives a focus on the influence of social structure—social institutions as well as sources of social inequality, such as gender, race, and class—can help us understand some of the dilemmas facing contemporary families.

t/f: Local, state, and federal governments manage many programs that provide certain benefits only to groups they officially define as "families."

true

t/f: Men who beat their partners are not necessarily psychotic, deranged, "sick" individuals. Rather, they are often men who believe that male dominance is their birthright

true

t/f: pregnant or recently pregnant woman is more likely to be the victim of a homicide than to die of any other cause

true

t/f: social class can determine the lessons that parents instill in their children.

true All families, no matter what their class standing, face the same issues: work, leisure, child rearing, and interpersonal relations

t/f: More U.S. residents than ever have grandparents alive, and most adults see or talk to a parent on the phone at least once a week

true The average distance adult Americans live from their mothers is 18 miles, and more than half of people over the age of 65 have at least one child who lives within 10 miles

Neolocal residence

young married couples are expected to establish their own households and separate from their respective families when financially possible. In most places, married couples are expected to live with or near either the husband's relatives (called patrilocal residence) or the wife's relatives (called matrilocal residence).