COM 101: Chapter 6- Effective Listening
What is selective listening?
AKA spot listening. If you respond to some parts of a message and ignore others; typically, you selectively listen to those parts of the message that interest you -Attending to only those message parts that interest you or tuning out because you believe that you know the rest of a message may prompt others to question your listening skills
What is gap filling?
Listeners who think they can correctly guess the rest of the story a speaker is telling and don't need the speaker to continue -Often interrupt, when this happens the listeners alter the message and its meaning may be lost
What is lack of training?
Listening is a learned activity and few schools offer courses on the topic -Some companies now offer training in listening
What are the styles of listening?
1. People-centered 2. Action-centered 3. Content-centered 4. Time-centered
Listening is used:
It is used three times as much as speaking, it is used four times as much as reading and writing
What are strategies that you can use to better communicate with individuals from different cultures?
-Don't except everyone else to adapt to your way of communicating -Accept new ways of receiving messages -Wait as long as possible before merging anothers words into your words- don't define the world on your terms -See clarification when possible
What are the additional elements to active listening?
-Paraphrasing -Dialogue enhancers -Questions -Silence
How do you ask questions to help in active listening?
-Should be well timed and appropriate -They demonstrate a willingness to show that you wish to receive the intended message -They show a desire to achieve clarity -May help avoid gap-filling
Good listening skills are valuable in other types of interpersonal relationships as well, what are examples?
-The importance of effective doctor-patient listening interactions has been studied -Positive teacher-student listening interactions have been studied -The resolution of family conflict through effective listening has been studied -The effect of listening on intimacy in friendship has been researched
What are choices for effective listening?
1. Evaluate your current skills 2. Prepare to listen 3. Provide empathic responses 4. Use nonjudgemental feedback 5. Practice active listening
What are the barriers that make us not listen?
1. Noise 2. Message overload 3. Message complexity 4. Lack of training 5. Preoccupation 6. Listening gap
What are some poor listening habits?
1. Selective listening 2. Talkaholism 3. Pseudolistening 4. Gap filling 5. Defensive listening 6. Ambushing
What are the three levels of rating?
1. We decide whether or not we agree with the message 2. We place the message in context 3. We evaluate whether the message has value to us
What are the 4 remaining components to the listening process?
1.Receiving 2.Responding 3.Recalling 4.Rating
What are inferences?
A conversations "missing pieces" and require listeners to go beyond what was observed
What is a listening style?
A predominant and preferred approach to the messages we hear
What is noise?
Anything that interferes with the message -Includes physical distractions
How do you evaluate your current skills?
Asses and understand your personal listening strengths and weaknesses. We have stresses and personal problems that may affect our listening skills
What are opinions?
Can undergo over time and are based on a communicator's beliefs or values
What is a content-centered listening style?
Focus on the facts and details of a message -Consider all sides of an issue and welcome complex and challenging information from a sender, but they may intimidate others by asking pointed questions or discounting information
What is talkaholics?
Defined as compulsive talkers who hog the conversational stage and monopolize encounters -When talkaholics take hold of a conversation, they interrupt, directing the conversational flow
What is listening?
Defined as the dynamic transactional process of receiving, recalling, rating, and responding to stimuli and/or messages from another
What is hearing?
Defined as the physical process of letting audible stimuli without focusing on the stimuli
What is physical distractions?
Environmental noises that prevent effective listening, including semantic, psychological, or physiological noise we encounter that prevents a listener from receiving the sender's message
What is rating?
Evaluating or assessing a message -We rate messages on three levels
Listening is an ongoing _____ ______ that requires lifelong training
Interpersonal activity
What is pseudolistening?
Involves pretending to listen by nodding our heads, by looking at the speaker, by smiling at the appropriate times, or by practicing other kinds of attention feigning
What is receiving?
Involves the verbal and nonverbal acknowledgment of communication -We are selective in our reception and screen those messages that are least relevant to us -When we are receiving we can be mindful or mindless
What is recalling?
Involves understanding a message, storing it for future encounters, and remembering it later -Can be immediate, short-term, or long-term -We chunk information
What is message complexity?
Messages we receive that area filled with details, unfamiliar language, and challenging arguments are often hard to understand
What is being mindful? What is being mindless?
Mindful- When we are paying close attention the stimuli around Mindless- We aren't paying attention to the stimuli around us
Listening has been called a twenty- first century skill and has been ranked as the most important job skill, why?
New technologies and changes in business practices have changed how and to whom we listen
What is defensive listening?
Occurs when people view innocent comments as personal attacks or hostile criticisms -Often perceive threats in messages and may be defensive because of personal issues
What is ambushing?
People who listen carefully to a message and then use the information alter to attack -Want to retrieve information to discredit or manipulate another person
What is the action centered listening style?
Pertains to listeners who want messages to be highly organized, concise, and error-free -Help speakers focus on what is important in the message -Second guess speakers -Clearly tell others that they want unambiguous feedback
What is chunking?
Placing pieces of information into manageable and retrievable sets
How do you prepare to listen?
Requires both physical and mental activities -Locate yourself closer to the source -Reduce or remove as many distractions as possible
What is paraphrasing?
Restating the essence of anothers message in our own words -A perception check in an interpersonal encounter, allows us to clarify our interpretation of a message
What is message overload?
Senders frequently receive more message than they can process
What are facts?
Verifiable and can be made only after direct observation
What are dialogue enhancers?
Take the form of supporting expressions such as "I'm listening" or "I see" -They should not interrupt a message -Should be used as indications that you are involved in the message
What is empathy?
The process of identifying with or attempting to experience the thoughts, beliefs, and actions of another
What is multitasking?
The simultaneous performance of two or more tasks -Common at work and home
What is the people centered listening style?
The style associated with being concerned with other peoples feelings -Try to compromise and find common areas of interest -Quickly notice others moods and provide clear verbal and nonverbal feedback
What is a listening gap?
The time difference between your mental ability to interpret words and the speed at which they arrive to your brain; when we have a large listening gap we may daydream, doodle on paper, or allow our minds to wander
How do you practice active listening?
The transactional process in which a listener communicates reinforcing messages to a speaker -They want to listen than feel obligated to
How do you use nonjudgemental feedback?
We describe another's behavior and go then explain how that behavior make us feel
How does silence help with active listening?
We should honor silence when another person is struggling with what to say
What is time-centered listening style?
They let others know that message should be presented succinctly -Discourage wordy explanations from speakers and set time guidelines for conversations -Constantly check their watches or abruptly end encounters
What is a second-guess speaker?
They question the assumptions underlying a message
What is responding?
When an individual provides observable feedback to a speaker
What is conversational narcissism?
When people engage in an extreme amount of self-focusing to the exclusion of another person -People who are narcissistic are caught up in their own thoughts are inclined to interrupt others
What is talkaholism?
When someone becomes consumed with their own communication
What is preoccupation?
When we are thinking about our own life experiences and everyday troubles
How do you provide empathic responses?
When we use empathy, we are telling other people that we value their thoughts
