Math

Moana

1 In the beginning. There was only ocean. Until "Mother Island" emerged. Te Fiti. Her heart has greatest power ever known. It could create life itself. And Te Fiti share it with the world. But in time, some begin to seek Te Fiti's heart. They believe the faith could possessed. The great power of creation would be vast. And one day... The most daring of them all... Voyage across the vast ocean to take it. He was a Demigod of Wind and Sea. He was a warrior ... A trickster. A shape shifter who could change form. With the power of his magical fish hook. And his name was Maui. But without her heart. Te Fiti began to crumble. Giving birth to a terrible darkness. Maui fright escape. But was confronted by another, who saw the heart. Te Ka, a demon of Earth and Fire. Maui was struck from a sky. Never to be seen again. And his magical fish hook ... And the heart of Te Fiti, were lost to the sea. Where even know, 1000 years later. Te Ka and the demon of the deep still hunt for the heart. Hiding in the darkness that will continue to spread... Chasing away our fish. Draining the life from island after island. Until everyone of us. Is the bowed by the blood thirsted joys. Of inescaped of our dead. But one day... The heart will be found. By someone who would journey beyond the reef. Find Maui. Delivered him across the great ocean... To restore Te Fiti's heart. And save us all. Thank you mother, that's enough. Papa... No one goes outside the reef. We're safe here. There is no darkness. There are no monsters. - Master .. master... master. - There's no monster... no monster. - Darkness... - Hey... ahh... But there is nothing beyond that reef but storm. - And rough sea. - I get the bowed. As long as we stay on our very safe island. We'll be fine. The legend are true. Someone would have to go. Mother... Motului is paradise. Who would want to go in anywhere else. Moana. Oh, there you are... Moana, what are you doing. You scared me. Fun, I wants go back. I know, I know... But you don't go out there. It's dangerous. Moana, come on... Let's go back to the village. You are the next great chief of our people. And you do wonderous thing, my little Minou. Oh yes, but first... You must learn where your meant to be. Moana... Make way .. Make way. Moana, it's time you knew. The village of Motunui is all you need. The dancers are practising They dance to an ancient song. We need a new song, that's what we need. This tradition is our mission. And Moana there's so much to do. Don't trip on the taro root. That's all you need. We share everything we make. We joke and we weave our baskets. The fishermen come back from the sea. - I wanna see. - Don't walk away. Moana stay on the ground now. Our people will need a chief and there you there... There comes a day. When you're gonna look around. And realize happiness is where you are. Consider the coconut. Consider it's tree... We use each parts of the coconut. That's all we need. We make our nets from the fibers. The water is sweet inside. We use the leaves to build fires. We cook up the meat inside. Consider the coconuts. The trunks and the leaves. The island gives us what we need. - And noone leaves. - That's right we stay. We're safe and we're well provided. And when we look to the future... There you are. You'll be okay. In time you'll learn just as I did. You must find happiness right where you are... I like to dance with the water. The undertow and the waves. The water is mischievous, ha ! I like how it misbehaves. The village may think I'm crazy. Or say that I drift too far. But once you know what you like. Well there you are. You are your father's daughter. Stubbornness and pride. Mind what he says, but remember. You may hear a voice inside.. And if the voice starts to whisper. To follow the farthest star. Moana, that voice inside is who you are.... Aahhh... Dad. I was only looking at the boats. I wasn't gonna get on them. Come on. There's something I need to show you. I wonder to bring you here from the moment you open your eyes. This is a sacred place. The place of Chiefs. There would come a time When you will stand on this peaked place. A stone on this mountain. Like I did. Like my father did. And his father and every chief that is ever been. And on that day... We knew at your stone. You will raise this whole island higher. You are the future of our people, Moana. May are not out there. There are right here. It's time to be who they need you to be. We make our nets from the fibers. (We make our nets...) (... from the fiber ) The water is sweet inside. We use the leaves to build fires. We cook up the meat inside. The village believe in us. (Huh) That's right. The village believe. (Huh) The island gives us what we need. And no one leaves. So here I'll stay. My home and my people beside me. And when I think of tomorrow. There we are. I lead the way. I'll have my people to guide me. We'll build our future together. Where we are. Cause every path leads you back to. Where you are. You can find happiness right (where you are) Where you are.... Every storm, this roof leaks no matter how many font I add. This is not the font. - Wind shifted the coast. - Ohhh... That's good work. Oh, Amy... No, I wasn't ... What? They calling me, so I gotta ... Bye. You're doing great. Is it done yet ? So close. I'm curious about that chicken. Eating the rock. I mean she seem to like them basic intelligent required. Pretty much everything. So we maybe just cook him. Sometimes our strange like beneath this. Far beneath. In some cases. But I'm sure this more that Hei-hei than Misdia. It's the harvest. This morning I was husking the coconuts and ... Well... We should clear the diseased trees. And we will start a new grow. There. Thanks Moana. She's doing great. This suits you. Chief. There's something you need to see. Our traps in the east lagoon. They pulling out less and least fish. Then we'll rooted the fishing ground. We have there's no fish. Oh,... Then we'll fish far side of the island. We tried. The Windworth side. Amelieworth side. A Shallow... Chianu. We tried the whole lagoon. They just ... gone. What you have tried using it for the bait. I don't using it as a bait. I would talk to the counselor. - I'm sure we'll... - What if... We fished beyond the reef. No one goes beyond the reef. I know. But if there are no fish in the lagoon... - Moana... - And there's a hope. - In the oceans... - We have one rule. In older rule when there were fish. A rule that keep us safe. - But dad. - And stay of endangered our people. Say you can run right back to the water. If we time, I think you'll pass test. No one goes beyond the reef. Well, it's like what you said in front of your dad Standing on a boat. I ddn't say, go beyond the reef. Because I want to beyond the ocean. But you still do. - He's hard on you, because... - Because he doesn't get me. Because he was you. Drawn to the ocean. Challenged by the shore. He took the canoe, Moana. He crossed the reef. And founded unforgiving sea. Waves like mountains. His best friend begged to be on that boat. He couldn't save him. He's hoping he can save you. Sometimes, who we wish we were. What we wished what we can do. This is just not meant to be. I can do this. There's more fish beyond the reef. There's more beyond the reef. Much so bright. What ever just happened. Blame it on the pig. Grandma... Are you gonna help dad. I miss mom. I don't have to tell him anything. He was right. About going out there. It's time to put my stone on the mountain. Okay. Well, then head on back. Put that stone at there. Why you trying to talk me all of it. You said that's what you wanted. It is. When I die. I'm going to come back this one of these. Or I chose the wrong tattoo. Why you're acting weird. I'm a village crazy lady. That's my job. Is there something you want to tell me. Just tell me. Is there something you want to tell me. Is there something you want to hear. You've been told all our people stories. But one. What is this place? Do you really think our ancestors stayed within the reef ? What's in there? The answer. To the question you keep asking yourself. Who are you meant to be. Go inside. Bang the drum. And find out. Bang the drum. Tatou o Tagata Folau vala'auina. E le Atua o le sami tele e o mai. La ava'e le lu'itau e lelei. Tapenapena. Olo Olo .. baka. Aue, Aue. Nuku i mua. Te manulele e tataki iei. Aue, Aue. Te fenua te malie. Nae ko hakilia Kainga e. We read the wind and sky. When the sun is high. We sail the length of the seas on the ocean breeze. At night we name every star. We know where we are. We know who we are. Who we are. Aue, Aue... We set a course to find. A brand new island everywhere we roam. Aue, Aue.... We keep our island in our mind. And when it's time to find home. We know the way. Aue, Aue.... We are explorers reading every sign. We tell the stories of our elders. In a never ending chain. Te fenua, te malie. Nae ko hakilia. We know the way. We were voyagers. We were voyagers. We were voyagers. We were voyagers. We were voyagers. Why we stop. Maui. When he stole from the Mother Island. Darkness fell. Te Ka awoke. Monster looked and boat stop coming back. To protect our people, the ancient chiefs. Forbid voyaging. And now we have forgotten who we are. And the darkness has continue to spread. Chasing away our fish. Draining the life. From island after island. Our island ? But one day. Someone will journey beyond that reef. Find Maui. Deliver him across the great ocean. To restore the heart of Te Fiti. I was there that day. The ocean chose you. I thought it was a dream. Nope. Our ancestors believed, Maui lies there. At the bottom of his hook. Follow it, and you will find him. But ... Why it'll choose me ? I don't even know how to make it pass the reef. But I know who does. The clouds are turning black. What about the fish? - It happens all over the island. - Please. please. - Settle down. - What are you going to do ? Who will dig new field ? - We'll find a way... - We ... ... can stop the darkness. Save our island. This cave have a boat. Huge canoes. We can take them to find Maui. Make him restore the heart. We were voyagers. We can voyage again. You told me that how our people. This is how we help our people. Dad. What are you doing ? I should've burned those boat a long time ago. No ! Don't ! We have to find Maui. We have to restore the heart. There is no heart. This...this is just a rock. No ! Chief. It's your mother. Mother. What can be done? Go. Grandma. Go. Not now. I can't. You must. The ocean chose you. - Follow the fish hook. - Grandma. And when you find Maui. You grab him right here. You say... I am Moana of Motului. You will board my boat. Sail across the sea. And restore the heart of Te Fiti. I... I can't leave you. There is no way you could go, that I won't be with you. Go. There's a line with sky meet the sea. And he calls me. But no one knows. How far it goes. On the time wondering well I need to be is behind me. Once I know Every turn I take. Every trail I track. It's a choise I make. No, I can't turn back. To the great unknown. I go alone. Where I long to be.... See her light with the night. in the sea, she calls me. Yes, I know. I can go. There's a moon in the sky and the wind is behind me. So not know. How far I go. I am Moana Motului. You were board my boat. Sail across the sea. And restore the heart of Te Fiti. I am Moana. Of Motu... lui. Hei-hei. It's okay. You're alright. Yes... see. There we go. Nice water. An ocean is a friend of mine. Hei-hei. Hei-hei. Stay. Ok. Next stop. Maui. I am Moana of Motului. You're board my boat. Sail across the sea. And restore the heart of Te Fiti. I am Moana... of .. Mo..tu.... Moana boat. Oh, no. No ... no... no...no. No. Ocean. I can ask little help. No... no. Please. Come on. Help me. Please. Ehmm... What? I said help me. And wracking my boat. Not help me. Fish peeing you ... all day. So ... Maui. Maui. Maui Demigod. Bring him see I am Moana of Motului. You were board my boat. No. You will board my boat. Yeah. Hi, I'm Moana of Motului. - You will board my ... - Boat. A boat. The God has given me... a boat .... Maui. Shape shifter. Demigod of the wind and sea. - I am Moana... - Hero of Man. Wh..What ? It's actually Maui, the shape shifter. Demigod of Wind and Sea. Hero of Man. Interupted from the top. Hero of Man. Go. - I am Mo ... - Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. And women. Man and women, both all mothers of Gargoyle thing. Ah, you know, Maui is a hero to all. You've doing great. What? - No, I came here to ... - Of course, of course. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Maui always has time for his fans. And use a bird to write with. It's called Tweety. I know, not every day you got a chance to meet your hero. You are not my hero. And I'm not here so you can sign my oar. I'm here because you stole the heart of Te Fiti. And you will board my boat. Sail across the sea and put it back. Yeah... It almost sounds like you don't like me. Which is impossible because I got stuck here. For a thousand years, trying to get the heart... As a gift for you, mortal... So you have the power to create life itself. Yes, so I believe you are trying to say. - Is thank you. - Thank you ? - You're welcome. - But, no, no, no. I .. I didn't ... I wasn't ... - Why were I ever seen you and you... - Okay, okay, okay... I see what's happening ... yeah. You're face to face with greatness and it's strange. You don't even know how you feel. It's adorable ! Well, it's nice to see that humans never change. Open your eyes let's begin. Yes, it's really me, It's Maui. Breathe it in. I know it's a lot the hair, the bod ! When you're staring at a Demigod. What can I say ? Except you're welcome. To the tide, the sun, the sky. Hey, it's okay. It is okay. You're welcome. I'm just an ordinary demi-guy, Hey! Hey, what has two thumbs and pulled up the sky. When you were waddling ye high. This guy ! When the nights got cold. Who stole you fire from down below ? You're looking at him, yo ! Oohh, also I lasso the sun. You're welcome. To stretch your day and bring you fun. Also I harnessed the breeze. You're welcome, to fill your sails and shake your trees. So what can I say except You're welcome. For the island I pulled from the ocean. There's no need to pray, it's okay. You're welcome. I guess it's just my way of being me. You're welcome. You're welcome. Well, come to think of it. Kid, honestly I can go on and on. I can explain every natural phenomenon. The tide, the grass, the ground. Oh... that was Maui just messing around. I killed an eel, I buried it's guts. Sprouted a tree, now you've got coconuts. What's the lesson ? What is the takeaway. Don't mess with Maui when he's on the breakaway. And the tapestry here in my skin. Is a map of the victories I win. Look where I've been, I make everything happen. Look at that mean mini Maui just tippity tappin' Well anyway, let me say, You're welcome For the wonderful world you know. Hey, it's okay... it's okay. You're welcome Well, come to think of it, I gotta go. Hey, it's your day to say You're welcome. Cause I'm gonna need that boat. I'm sailing away... away. You're welcome. Cause Maui can do anything but float. You're welcome. You're welcome. And thank you ! Hey, let me out ! - You're lying, slummy, son of the .... - Mm .. Mmm. You're welcome. No... I'm not going to Te Fiti with some kid. I'm gonna get my hook. You have yours. And I'm not Maui without mine. Okay, talk to the back. Boat snack. Oh, no, no, no. Don't look at me like that. It's a beautiful cave, she's gonna love it. I'm going to love you. In my belly. No, was that new, drumstick. I can watch that all day. Okay, enjoy the island. - Maui... Auww... - No. Stop ! Hey, you're pull back the horde. Did not see that coming. I am Moana of Motului. This is my canoe. And you will journey to aahh... Alright, get over it. We gotta move. And she's back. I am Moana of Motul..uiiii.... - It was Moana, right? - Yes. And you will restore the heart. Alright, I'm out. Ahh, come on. What is your problem? - Are you afraid of it ? - No. No, Ha..ha..ha. I'm not afraid. Stay out of it or you sleeping in my armpits. You stop it. That is not a heart. It is a cursed the second I took it. I got blasted out of the sky. And I lost my hook. Get it away from me. Get this away. Hah .. hey .. hey... I'm Demigod, okay? Stop that, I will smack you You wannna get smote. Listen, that thing doen't give you power to create life. It's a homing weaken of death. If you don't put it away bad thing will come for it. Come for this ... The heart. You mean this heart right here... Come and get it. You are gonna get us killed. No, I'm gonna get us to Te Fiti. So you can put it back. Thank you. You're welcome. Kakamora. Kaka... what? Murdering little pirates. Wonder, what they're here for ? They're kind of cute. Ocean do something, help us. The ocean doesn't help you. You help yourself. You can't sail ? I ... I am soft touch. Can't you shift shape or something. You see my hook. No magic hook. No magic powers. The boat ... is turning into my fault. Yup. I just did best. No, no, no, no. Hei-hei. Maui. They took the heart. That a chicken. The heart is in the ... We have to get it back. Mauiii.... There. Right there! You're turning. What are you doing. Escaping. - The heart. - Forget it, you're never get it back. Beside, we got a better one. Hey... What do I gonna steal with. They just gonna kill you. Coconuts. Hah... Got it. Oo... Oohh... Hey. Yeah... We did it ! Congratulations, on a being dead, curly. You surprise me. But I still not taking that thing back. You wanna get to Te Fiti. You have to go through the whole oceans and bad. Not to mention Te Ka. Lava monster. Ever defeat lava monster. No. Have you. I'm not going on a suicide mission with some mortal. You can restore the heart without me. And me says ... No. I'm getting my hook. End of discussion. You'll to be a hero. That's what you are about, rights ? Little girl, I am a hero. Maybe you were but now ... Now you're just the guy who stole the heart of Te Fiti. The guy who cursed the world. Don't know one fellow. No one. But, put this back. Save the world. You'd be everyone's hero. Maui... Maui... Maui... Guess what's they say. We never make it, without my hook. Not pass Te Ka. Then we get your hook. We get you hook, take out Te Ka. Restore the heart. Unless you don't wanna be. Maui Demigod of Wind and Sea. Hero to all. First, we get my hook. Then save the world. Deal ? Deal. What the shot ? Okay, we go east. To the Lea of Tomatoa. If anyone has my hook, it's that be the high bottomfield. Teach me to sail. My job is to deliver Maui across the great ocean. I should... I should be sailing. It's call Wave Finding, Princess. It's not just sail and not, It's sea where you're going in your mind. Knowing where you are. By knowing where you've been. Okay, first ... I'm not a princess. I'm the daughter of the chief. - Same difference. - No. If you weary dress, and you have animal sidekick. You're Princess. You're not away find her. You're never be away find her. You're never be a way. Really? Blow dart and my butt ache. You are a bad person. If you can talk, you can teach. Way finding. Lesson one ... hit it. Pull the sheets. Not the sheets. No. No. No. No. Try that one already. You're measuring the stars. Not giving the sky hi five. If the current warm, you're going the right way. It's cold. Wait, it's getting warmer. Then it's disgusting. What's wrong with you? B lack c loud We're here. See, I told you, I can do it. Motului. I'm home? Moana... Dad... Moana... Mom ... Help ... No. Moana... Enjoy your beauty rest. You know a real wave finder, never sleeps. So they actually get what they need to go. Muscle up butter cup. We're here. You sure this guy's gonna have your hook. Tamatoa... oh yeah have it. He's a skyvenger. Collect stuff, things that looks cool. And for Tomatoa. Trust me, my hook is the coolest collected. And he lives up there. Oh,ho, no, no, no... That's just the entrance. To a Lalotai. Lalotai ? Realm of Monsters. We going to the Realms of Monsters. We ? No. Me. You are gonna stay here with the other chicken. That's what I'm talking about, give me some ... Come on, that was a good one, how you'd not get it. I called her chicken, that chicken on the boat. I know she's human, but that's not. You know... forget it. Forget it, I'm not explaining it to you. What ? Cause that is not funny. So... Daughter of the chief. I thought you stayed in the village. You know, kissing babies and things. Hey, I'm just trying to understand. Why your people decided to send her. How's my phrases ? You. My people. Didn't send me. The ocean did. The ocean... makes sense, you're what ? Ape. Can't sail. Obvious choice. It chose me. For a reason. If the ocean so smart. Why didn't just take the heart back to Te Fiti itself. Or bring me my hook. The ocean straight up pooky dooks. But I'm sure it's not wrong about you. You're the chosen one. The ocean chose you for a reason. If you start singing, I'm wanna throw up. So, not seeing entrance. Yes, because it only appear after a human sacrifice. Kidding, Ha..ha..ha... So serious. Do not worry, it's a lot far down there than it looks. I am still Maui. Go. And he's sticks the landing. What? Dumb-dumb, she's not even here. No mortals gonna jump into the realm of mon... Well.... She's dead. Okay, let's get my hook. Maui's fishhook. Yeah.... Sorry. I thought you're a monster, but... I find your hook and you're right... - This tomatoa really like the treasure. - Stay. What ? No ? - I'm... I'm the one who... - Listen... For a thousand years... I've only been thinking of keeping this ... Getting my hook and being awesome again. And it's not getting screwed up by a mortal. Who have no business Inside of monsters cave except ... Except ... Maybe it's bait. Hah.... Wow, the shiny glitterin' cave. And just like me. It is covered in sparkly treasure. Sparkle ... Sparkle. - Sparkle. - You're not sell of it. This is stupid, I'm just walk that gate. You go out there, he would kill you. Just stick to the plan. Oh, when he shows up, keep him distracted. Make him talk about himself. He loves braking about our gravious. Maui. What have we here ? It's a sparkly, shiny. Wait a minute... It's a human. What are you doing down here. In the realms of the mons ... Just blinking eyes, babe. I can't ... I can't concentrate on what I saying. If you keep ... Yep, pick one, pick one. You are funny looking little thing, aren't you ? Don't, it's my grandma's. That's my grandma. I ate my grandma. Dan it took a week cause she was absolutely humongous. Why are you here ? Cause you're amazing. And we mortals have heard the tales about the crab. Who became a legend. And I got to know. How you being so ... crap.... You less .. Are you just trying to get me to talk about myself. Because if you are ... I will gladly do so. In song form. Well, Tamatoa hasn't always been this glam. I was a drab little crab once.. Now I know, I can be happy as a clamp. Because I'm beautiful, baby. Did your granny say listen to your heart. Be who you are on the inside. I need three words to tear her argument a part. Your granny lied. I'd rather be shiny like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck. Scrub the deck and make it look shiny. I will sparkle like a wealthy woman's neck Just a sec, don't you know ? Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb They chase anything that glitters Beginners. Oh, and here they come, come, come. To the brightest thing that glitters. Mmm, fish dinners. I just love free food. And you look like seafood - No ! - Hey ! Crab cakes. I'm back. It's Maui time. What do you say, little buddy. Giant hook. Coming up... Well, well, well.... Little Maui's having trouble with his look. You little semi-demi-mini-god. Ouch ! What a terrible performance. Get the hook ! ( Get it ? ) You don't swing it like you used to, man. Yet I have to give you credit for my start. And your tattoos on the outside. For just like you I made myself a work of art. I never hide, I can't. I'm too shiny. Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough. Strut my stuff, my stuff is so shiny. Send your armies but they'll never be enough. My shell's too tough, Maui man. You could try, try, try... But you can't expect a demigod. To beat a decapod. Look it up. You will die, die, die. Now it's time for me to take apart. Your aching heart. Far from the ones who abandoned you. Chasing the love of these humans. Who made you feel wanted. You try to be tough. But your armour's just not hard enough. Maui ! Now it's time to kick your hiney. Ever seen someone so shiny? Soak it in cause it's the last you'll ever see. C'est la vie mon ami, I'm so shiny. Now I'll eat you so prepare your final plea. Just for me. You'll never be quite as shiny You wish you were nice and shiny Hey! I got something shiny for you. The heart of Te Fiti. You can run from me. Oh, you can't. You keep surprising me. It's only so far you can get on these two little legs. The power of creation. For the crustaceans. Where is it ? Where is it ? We gotta go. Well, what about the heart. He can have it. I've got a better one. Yes, I have the ... Wait a minute. I see she's taking Banakaru. And she's covered with bio luminescent algae. Has it devision ? Come back here. Hey ... Hey ... Did you like the song. We're alive. We're alive. Listen. - I appreciate what you did down there. - Mm..hmm... Took guts. But... I'm sorry. I'm tryin' to be sincere for once, and it feels you're distracted. - No, no, no way. - Really. Cause you looking at me like I have a ... Shark head. - Do you have a shark head, cause I ...? - Look ... The point is ... For little girl, child thing, wharever who had no business being down there. You did me a solid. But you also almost died. And I couldn't even beat the dumb crab. So chances of beating Te Ka. Bup kiss. We're never making it to the Te Fiti. This mission is curse. It's not cursed. - Shark head. - It's not cursed. Cursed. What can I say, except we're dead soon. We're dead soon. Can't you at least try? Giant hook. Hey, it's okay... it's okay. We're dead soon. Alright, play time is over. Get up. Why? You're gonna give me a speech Tell me I could beat Te Ka cause I'm ... Maui. Take a hike, tiny. How do you get your tatoo's. They show up when I earn them. How do you earn that one. What's that for ? That's a man's discovery of Nanya, What's Nanya ? Non ya'll Business. I just keep asking. What's that for ? You need to stop doing that. - Back off. - Just tell me what it is ? I said back off. Is that why your hook not working. You don't wanna talked. Don't talk. You wanna throw me off the boat. Throw me off. You wanna tell me, I don't know what I'm doing. I know I don't. I have no idea why the ocean chose me. You're right. But, my island is dying. So I am here. It's just me and you. And I want to help. But I can't, if you don't let me. I wasn't born a demigod. I have human parents. They... They took one look. And decided they did not want me. They threw me under the sea. Like I was nothing. Somehow I was found by the Gods. They gave me the hook. They made me... Maui. And back to the human, I went. I gave them island, fire, coconuts. Anything they ever want. You took the hard for them. You did everything for them. So they loved you. It was never enough. Maybe the Gods found you for a reason. Maybe the oceans brought you to them. Because it saw someone who worthty of being saved. But the Gods are the ones who make you Maui. You are. Okay, okay. I, I love you too, buddy. Yeah! Next stop, Te Fiti. What ? I figured it out You know the ocean used to loved when I pull out violence. Cause your ancestors would sail the seas. Find them. All those new island, new villages... It was the water that connected them all. And byway the ocean. I think I be looking for, ehh... Curly hair, non a princess. To start that again. That is little even nicest thing. You've ever said to me. Probably should've said that for Te Fiti. I did. Moana of Motului. I believe. You have officially delivered Maui. Across the great sea. Moana, Moana, Moana. It's time. Go, save the world. Maui... What... What are you doing ? Finding you better way in. - We won't make it. - Yes, we will. - Turn around. - No. - Moana stop. - No. Are you okay ? Maui. I told you to turn back. I thought we can make it. We? I thought I can make it. We can fix it. It was made by the Gods. You can't fix it. Next time will be more careful. Te Ka was suck on the barely island. It's lava. It can't go on the water. We can find a way around. I'm not going back. What... We still have to restore the heart. My hook is cracked. One more hit and it's over. Maui you have to restore the heart. Without my hook, I am nothing. That's not true. Without my hook, I am nothing. We are only here because you stole the heart in the first place. No, we're here because the ocean told you, You're special and you believe it, I am Moana of Motului. - You were board my boat. - Goodbye, Moana. Sail across the sea, I'm not killing myself. So you can prove you're something - You're not. - I just restore the heart of Te Fiti. The Ocean chose me. The choce wrong. Maui. Why did you bring me here ? I'm not the right person. You have to choose someone else. Choose someone else. Please. You are a long ways past the reef. Grandma. Guess I chose the right tattoo. Grandma ! That's right, grandma. I .. I'll crying to it. It's not your fault. I never should have put so much on your shoulders. If you're ready to go home. I will be with you. Why do you hesitate ? I don't know. I know a girl from an island. She stands apart from the crowd. She loves the sea and her people. She makes her whole family proud. Sometimes the world seems against you. The journey may leave a scar. But scars can heal and reveal. Just where you are. The people you love will change you. The things you have learned will guide you. And nothing on earth can silence. The quiet voice still inside you. And when that voice starts to whisper. Moana you've come so far. Moana listen. Do you know who you are ? Who am I ? I am a girl who loves my island. I'm a girl who loves the sea. It calls me... I am the daughter of the village chief. We are descended from voyagers. Who found their way across the world. They call me ... I've delivered us to where we are. I have journeyed farther. I am everything I've learned and more. Still it calls me. And the call isn't out there at all. It's inside me. It's like the tide always falling and raising. I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me. That come what may. I know the way. I AM MOANA. I am Moana of Motului. Aboard my boat, I will sail across the sea. And restore the heart of Te Fiti. The follow us under water. We'll make it pass the barely island. We'll make it to Te Fiti. None of us, you understand. Because you are chicken. No! Hei-hei. No, no, no, no, no.... Te Fiti... Maui. You've came back. But your hook. One more hit, and ... Te Ka has gotta catch me first. I've got your back, chosen one. Go, save the world. Maui. Thank you. Your welcome. Hey... Te Ka ! Short cut. Moana. Get the heart to the sparrows. Te Fiti. It's gone. TE - KA !! Let her come to me. I have crossed the horizon to find you. I know your name. May have strong in my heart from inside you. But this ... This not define you. This is not who you are. You know who you are... Who you trully are. Te Fiti. The chicken lives. I'm sorry about your hook. Well, hook. No hook I'm Maui. Te Fiti. How you've been ? Look, what I did was .... wrong. I have no excuse. I'm sorry. You know, it will be rude to physic of the Goddess. Thank you. You kind just sure is. Deeply apreciate. Gonna missed you, drumstick. You can come with us, you know. My people are going to need a ... master wave finder. They are already have one. See you out there, Maui. See you out there, Moana... Mom ... Dad .... Moana... I may have gone alone. But always pass the reef. It suits you. - She's back. - Moana.... Moana. Aue, Aue... We set a course to find... A brand new island everywhere we roam. Aue, Aue... We keep our island in our mind. And when it's time find home, We know the way.... We are explorers reading every sign. We tell the story... About our elders in a never ending chain. Te Fenua, te Malie. Nae ko hakilia. Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=moana

Mulan

A Chinese painting of the Great Wall of China is slowly painted across the screen. The words Walt Disney Pictures present and then Mulan and the dragon symbol appear. The painting becomes animated, and a Chinese soldier walks around his post. Suddenly, a bird of prey hits the back of his head ... Soldier: Ah! [The hawk lets out a call. The soldier walks over to the edge of the wall. A hook comes flying up, followed by many more.] Soldier: [Running back to his post] We're under attack! Light the signal! The door opens, revealing a couple of Huns. The soldier climbs up the ladder. Soldier: [lighting the signal with a torch, while staring at the Hun leader; other signals go on all the way along the Great Wall] Now all of China knows you're here. Shan Yu: [picking up a flag and toasting it in the signal fire] Perfect. *** The Chinese General and two soldiers walk into the Emperor's chamber and bow. General: Your Majesty, the Huns have crossed our Northern Border. Chi Fu: Impossible! No one can get through the Great Wall! [He is silenced with a raised hand from the Emperor] General: Shan Yu is leading them. We'll set up defenses around your palace immediately. Emperor: No! [Standing up] Send your troops to protect my people! Chi Fu! Chi Fu: Yes, your Highness. Emperor: Deliver conscription notices throughout all the provinces. Call up reserves, and as many new recruits as possible. General: Forgive me, your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him. Emperor: I won't take any chances, General. A single grain of rice can tip the scale; one man may be the difference between victory and defeat. *** Mulan: [Using chopsticks to balance a grain of rice] Quiet and demure ... graceful, polite, delicate, refined, poised ... [she picks up a paintbrush and makes a mark on her arm] ... punctual! [A rooster crows] Aaiee! [Blowing on her arm] Little brother! Little brother! Little-- [she glances down at a sleeping dog on the floor] Ah! There you are! [The dog wakes up] Who's the smartest doggy in the world? C'mon, smart boy! Can you help me with my chores today? [she ties a sack of chicken feed to his back, complete with a pole and a bone attached. Little Brother immediately chases the bone, running promptly into a wall and then out the door, scattering grain everywhere.] Fa Zu: [praying] Honorable Ancestors ... please help Mulan impress the Matchmaker today. [Little Brother, followed by a herd of chickens, bursts into the family temple.] Please, please help her. Mulan: Father, I brought you some ... Whoop! [bangs into Fa Zu, he catches the tea pot on his cane while the cups hit the ground and shatter] Fa Zu: Mulan ... Mulan: I brought a spare! Fa Zu: Mulan ... Mulan: Remember, the doctor said three cups of tea in the morning ... Fa Zu: Mulan. Mulan: ... and three at night. Fa Zu: Mulan. You should already be in town. We're counting on you to ... Mulan: Uphold the family honor. Don't worry, Father. I won't let you down. Wish me luck! Fa Zu: Hurry! I'm going to ... pray some more. In town Woman #1: Fa Li, where is your daughter? The Matchmaker is not a patient woman. Fa Li: Of all the days to be late! I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck. Granny Fa: How lucky can they be? They're dead. Besides, I've got all the luck we'll need. [Holds up a wicker cage with a cricket inside.] This is your chance to prove yourself. [She closes her eyes and steps off the sidewalk.] Fa Li: Grandma! No! Granny Fa walks across the street; vehicles crash, but she emerges unharmed. Granny Fa: Yup! This cricket's a lucky one! [Fa Li sighs.] Mulan comes riding up on Khan, and hops off. Mulan: I'm here! [looks at her mother] What? But, Mama, I had to-- Fa Li: None of your excuses. Now, let's get you cleaned up. Begin "Honor to us all" Woman #1: This is what you give me to work with? Well, honey, I've seen worse. We're going to turn this sow's ear Into a silk purse. Mulan: It's freezing! Fa Li: It would've been warm, if you were here on time. Woman #1: We'll have you, washed and dried Primped and polished till you glow with pride Just my recipe for instant bride You'll bring honor to us all. Fa Li: Mulan, what's this? Mulan: Uh ... notes ... in case I forget something. Granny Fa: Hold this. [Hands Crickee to Fa Li] We're going to need more luck than I thought. Woman #2: Wait and see, when we're through Woman #3: Boys will gladly go to war for you Woman #2: With good fortune Woman #3: And a great hairdo Both: You'll bring honor to us all. A girl can bring her family Great honor in one way By striking a good match And this might be the day Woman #4: Men want girls with good taste Woman #5: Calm Fa Li: Obedient Woman #5: Who work fast-paced Fa Li: With good breeding Woman #5: And a tiny waist All: You'll bring honor to us all. We all must serve our Emperor Who guards us from the Huns A man by bearing arms A girl by bearing sons Woman #6: When we're through, You can't fail Like a lotus blossom, soft and pale How could any fellow say, "No sale"? You'll bring honor to us all! Fa Li: There, you're ready. Granny Fa: Not yet! An apple for serenity A pendant for balance Beads of jade for beauty You must proudly show it Now, add a cricket, just for luck, And even you can't blow it! Mulan: Ancestors, hear my plea, Please don't let me make a fool of me And to not uproot my family tree Keep my father standing tall. Scarier than the Undertaker, We are meeting our matchmaker! Destiny, guard our girls, Help our future as it fast unfurls Please look kindly on these cultured pearls Each a perfect porcelain doll ... Please bring honor to us Please bring honor to us Please bring honor to us Please bring honor to us Please bring honor to us all! Matchmaker: Fa Mulan? Mulan: Present! Matchmaker: Speaking without permission ... Mulan: Oops ... [They go inside] Granny Fa: [to Fa Li] Who spit in her bean curd? Matchmaker: Too skinny ... not good for bearing sons. Crickee hops out of his cage, Mulan frantically tries to put him back in. Matchmaker: Recite the Final Admonition. Mulan: Mmm-hmm-hmm ... [pulls out a paper fan and spits Crickee out] Matchmaker: Well? Mulan: Fulfill your duties, calmly and ... [glances down at the crib notes written on her arm, which are smeared slightly] respectively. Um, reflect before you ... snack. Act! This shall bring you honor and glory. [She fans herself, the matchmaker grabs the fan and searches it for cheat notes. Finding none, she grabs Mulan by the arm (where the notes are!) and pulls her toward a table. The writing comes off in her hand.] Matchmaker: This way. Now, pour the tea. To please your future in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity [she rubs her hand over her mouth, and the ink rubs off with a squeak] and refinement. You must also be poised. [Mulan, staring at the Matchmaker, pours the tea but misses the cup, then regains her composure and quickly fills the teacup.] Mulan notices Crickee relaxing happily in the tea. The Matchmaker takes the teacup. Mulan: Um, pardon me ... Matchmaker: And silent! [sniffs the tea] Ah ... Mulan: Could I just take that back? One moment ... [She grabs for the cup] The Matchmaker fights for the teacup, and they both fall back, the tea spilling all over the Matchmaker. Crickee hops down her dress. Matchmaker: Why, you clumsy! ... Oh! Ah! Woo! [She trips over the fire-pot, spilling the coals and then sitting on them, the bottom of her dress smoking. Mulan desperately fans the burned spot, and it bursts into flames. The matchmaker runs around screaming.] Outside Granny Fa: [To Fa Li] I think it's going well, don't you? The matchmaker runs outside, screaming. Matchmaker: Put it out! Put it out! PUT IT OUT! [Mulan throws tea over her, putting out the fire. Embarrassed, she hands the teapot to the Matchmaker and quickly walks toward Fa Li and Granny Fa.] Matchmaker: [furious] You are a DISGRACE! You may look like a bride, but you will NEVER bring your family honor! People start to walk away, whispering. At the Fa farm Mulan is greeted with a warm smile by her father, but, humiliated, she turns away and takes Khan to the stable. Beginning of "Reflection" Mulan: Look at me ... I will never pass for a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter Can it be? I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see That if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart. Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me Why is my reflection someone I don't know Somehow I cannot hide Who I am, though I've tried When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am, inside? Fa Zu: My, my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late. I bet when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all. Drums sound Mulan: What is it? Imperial soldiers and Chi Fu come riding over a hill. Fa Li: Mulan, stay inside. Granny Fa: Ahem. [points toward a low roof. Mulan runs over to it and peers over the roof] Chi Fu: Citizens! I bring a proclamation from the Imperial City! The Huns have invaded China! By order of the Emperor, one man from every family must serve in the Imperial Army. [Reading from list] The Chow Family! The Yee Family! Son: I will serve the Emperor in my father's place. Chi Fhou: The Fa Family! Mulan: No! Her father walks over to Chi Fu. Fa Zhou: I am ready to serve the Emperor. Mulan: Father, you can't go! Fa Zhou: Mulan! Mulan: [To Chi Fu] Please, sir, my father has already fought for-- Chi Fu: Silence! You will do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence. Fa Zhou: Mulan. You dishonor me. Chi Fu: Report tomorrow at the Moo-Shung Camp. [He hands Fa Zu a scroll.] Fa Zhou: Yes, sir. Chi Fu: [Continues to read] The Chu Family! The Chang Family! The Yong Family! In Fa Zhou's bedroom Fa Zhou yanks open his closet, revealing a suit of Chinese armor, and unsheaths a sword. Mulan watches. He practices techniques, but his leg gives out and he falls against a pillar, panting. At dinner Mulan pours the tea, then sets her cup down with a bang. Mulan: You shouldn't have to go! Fa Li: Mulan! Mulan: There are plenty of young men to fight for China! Fa Zhou: It is an honor to protect my country and my family. Mulan: So you'll die for honor. Fa Zhou: I will die doing what's right. Mulan: But if you ... Fa Zhou: I know my place. It is time you learned yours. Mulan stares at her father for a moment, then runs outside crying. Mulan is sitting in a statue of a dragon, crying. It is raining. Through the window of her house, she can see her mother and father talking. Fa Zhou picks up the candle and blows it out. Mulan thinks for a minute, then makes her decision. Mulan walks into the Family Temple and lights a stick, placing it in a hanging statue of a small dragon. She runs into her parent's room, taking the scroll and leaving her hair comb. Taking her father's sword, she cuts her hair short and puts on her father's armor. Going out to the stable, she mounts Khan and sets off for the army. The eyes of a statue in the temple flash, and Granny Fa wakes up. Granny Fa: Mulan is gone! Fa Zhou: What? It can't be ... [He runs outside] Mulan! No ... Fa Li: You must go after her. She could be killed. Fa Zhou: If I reveal her, she will be. Granny Fa: Ancestors, hear our prayer. Watch over Mulan. In the Family Temple, the characters on a tombstone light up, and they turn into the Great Ancestor. Great Ancestor: [To the small hanging dragon statue] Mushu, awaken. The statue shakes and smokes. Mushu: I live! So, tell me, what mortal needs my protection, Great Ancestor. You just say the word, and I'm there. Great Ancestor: Mushu ... Mushu: And lemme say something, anyone who's foolish enough to threaten OUR family, vengeance will be MINE! Grr ... arrgh ... Great Ancestor: Mushu! These are the family guardians. They ... Mushu: Protect the family. Great Ancestor: And you, O Demoted One ... Mushu: I ring the gong. Great Ancestor: That's right. Now, wake up the Ancestors ... Mushu: One family reunion coming right up. Okay, people, people, look alive! Let's go, c'mon, get up! Let's move it! Rise and shine! Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing. Ancestor #1: I knew it, I knew it. That Mulan was a troublemaker from the start. Ancestor #2: Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family! Ancestor #3: She's just trying to help her father! Ancestor #4: But if she's discovered, Fa Zu will be forever shamed. Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate! Ancestor #5: Not to mention they'll lose the farm! Ancestor #1: My children never caused such trouble; they all became acupuncturists! Ancestor #2: Well, we can't all be acupuncturists! Ancestor #6: No! Your great-granddaughter had to be a CROSS-DRESSER! The Ancestors start to argue Ancestor #7: Let a guardian bring her back! Ancestor #2: Yes! Awaken the most cunning! Ancestor #4: No! The swiftest! Ancestor #8: No, send the wisest! Great Ancestor: SILENCE! We will send the most powerful of all. Mushu: [laughs] Okay, okay, I get the Jif. I'll go. Laughter Mushu: Well, y'all don't think I can do it! Watch this here! [Blows a tiny flame] Ah-hah! Jump back, I'm pretty hot. But I don't have to singe nobody to prove no point. Great Ancestor: You had your chance to protect the Fa Family. Ancestor #6: Your misguidance led Fa Thang to disaster! Fa Thang: Yeah, thanks a lot. Mushu: And your point is? Great Ancestor: The point is, we will be sending a REAL dragon to retrieve Mulan. Mulan: What? What? I'm a real dragon! Great Ancestor: You're not even worthy of this thought! Now, awaken the Great Stone Dragon! Mushu: So you'll get back to me on the job thing. [He is hit in the face with his gong.] Mushu: Just one chance. Is that too much to ask? I mean, it's not like it'll kill you. [To the dragon statue] Yo, Rocky, wake up! You gotta go fetch Mulan! C'mon, boy! Go get her! Go on! C'mon! [He climbs up on the statue, dragging the gong.] Grr ... arrgh. Grr. Hello? Helloooo? HELLO! [He hits the ear of the dragon with the gong, and it falls off. Suddenly, the entire statue falls apart.] Uh-oh ... Mushu: Uh ... Stoney? Stoney ... Oh, man, they're gonna kill me! Great Ancestor: Great Stone Dragon! Have you awakened? Mushu: [Holding up the head of the Great Stone Dragon] Uh, yes, I just woke up! Um, I am the Great Stone Dragon! Good morning! I will go forth and fetch Mulan! Did- did I mention that I am the Great Stone Dragon? Great Ancestor: Go! The fate of the Fa family rests in your claws. Mushu: Don't even worry about it. I will not lose face. [He loses his balance and tumbles down the hill, the dragon head landing on top of him.] Ow, ah, my elbow. Oh, oh, I know I twisted something. [He lifts the head off.] That's just great, now what? I'm doomed, and all because Ms. Man decided to take a little drag show on the road. Crickee: Chirp. Mushu: Go GET her! What's the matter with you? After this Great Stone Humptey Dumptey mess, I'd have to bring her back with a medal to get back in the Temple! Waitaminute! That's it! I make Mulan a war hero, and they'll be begging me to come back to work! That's the master plan! Oh, you've done it now, man. Crickee: Chirp. Mushu: [running] And what makes you think you're coming? Crickee: Chirp. Mushu: You're LUCKY? Do I look like a sucker to you? Crickee: Chirp. Mushu: What do you mean, a loser? What if I pop one of you antennae of and throw it across the yard, then who's the loser, or me? Crickee: Chirp. Mushu chases him out of the yard and down the road. The Hun army comes to a stop by a marsh. Two Chinese soldiers are dragged out of a tree and thrown before Shan Yu. Hun: Imperial Scouts. Soldier #1: Shan Yu! Shan Yu: Nice work, gentlemen. You've found the Hun army. Laughter Soldier #2: The Emperor will stop you. Shan Yu: Stop me! He invited me. By building his wall, he challenged my strength. Well, I'm here to play his game. Go! Tell your Emperor to send his strongest armies. I'm ready. The two soldiers scurry off, one after the other. Shan Yu: How many men does it take to deliver a message? Hun Archer: One. *** Mulan: Okay. Okay, how about this: [in a deep voice] Excuse me, where do I sign in? Ah, I see you have a sword. I have one, too. They're very manly, and strong. [She fumbles with the sword, dropping it on the ground.] Khan rolls with laughter, and is hit by a shoe. Mulan: I'm working on it! Oh, who am I fooling. It'd take a miracle to get me into the army. Mushu: [covered in smoke, and surrounded by fire, all Mulan can see is his giant shadow.] Did I hear someone ask for a miracle! Lemme hear ya say, "Aaah!" Mulan: Aughhh! Mushu: That's close enough! Mulan: A ghost! Mushu: Get ready, Mulan, your seventeen halation is at hand, for I have been sent by your ancestors to guide you through your masquerade! [He glances down at Crickee, who is making finger-shadows of a dragon's head, and kicks him.] C'mon, you're gonna stay, you're gonna work with me. [To Mulan] So heed my words, cause if the army finds out you're a girl, the penalty is death. Mulan: Who are you? Mushu: Who am I? WHO am I? I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible Mushu. Mulan stares at the tiny dragon for a moment. Mushu: Ah, I'm pretty hot, huh? [Immediately Khan steps all over him.] Mulan: My ancestors sent a little lizard to help me? Mushu: Hey, dragon, dragon, not lizard. I don't do that tongue-thing. Mulan: You're ... um ... Mushu: Intimidating? All inspiring? Mulan: Tiny! Mushu: Of course! I am travel-sized, for your convenience. If I was my REAL size, your cow here would die of fright. [Khan tries to chomp him.] DOWN, Bessy. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see straight through your armor. Alright! That's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Make a note of this. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow, dis- Mulan: Stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I'm just nervous. I've never done this before. Mushu: Then you're gonna have to trust me. And don't you slap me no more. You clear on that? [Mulan nods]. Alright. Okey-dokey! Let's get this show on the road! Crickee, get the bags! [To Khan] Let's move it heifer! At the Moo-Shung Camp Mushu: Okay, this is it! Time to show them your man-walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up, and strut! Two three, break that bone, two, three, and work it! Mushu: [They pass men trimming their toenails and picking their noses] Beautiful, isn't it. Mulan: They're disgusting. Mushu: No, they're men. And you're gonna have to act just like them, so pay attention. Recruit: Look! This tattoo will protect me from harm! Yow: Hmmm ... [punches the recruit] Ling: [laughing] I hope you can get your money back! Mulan: I don't think I can do this ... Mushu: It's all attitude! Be tough, like this guy here! Yow: [spits] What are you looking at? Mushu: Punch him. It's how men say hello. [Mulan punches Yow; he slams into Chien Po.] Chien Po: Oh, Yow! You've made a friend! Mushu: Good. Now slap him on the behind. They like that. (Mulan slaps Yow.) Yao: Woo hoo ... I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy. Chien Po: [picks up Yow] Yow, relax and chant with me. Yao: errrrrgh .... Chien Po: nanuami tofu dah ... Yao: nonuamitofudah. Chien Po: Feel better? Yao: nrrgh. Ah, you ain't worth my time. Chicken boy. Mushu: Chicken boy!? Say that to my face, you limp noodle! Yao: Rrraaaaghhh! [Grabs Mulan and punches; she ducks and he punches Ling three times.] Oh, sorry Ling. Hey! [reaches down to catch Mulan from crawling away, and Ling kicks him into Chien Po, then attacks with a flying side kick. They start fighting, with Chien Po swiping to get them off. Mulan scrambles away.] Ling: Hey! There he goes! [They chase Mulan through a tent, and the Gang of Three stop abruptly at the end of the food line. Chien Po knocks everyone over, like dominoes, and finally the pot overturns. Everyone gets up and advances on Mulan.] Mulan: Hey, guys ... Inside the Captain's Tent General: The Huns have struck here, here, and here. I will take the main troops up to the Tung Chow Pass and stop Shan Yu before he destroys this village. Chi Fu: Excellent strategy, sir! I do love surprises. General: [to Lee Shang] You will stay and train the new recruits. When Chi Fu believes you're ready, you will join us ... Captain. Shang: Captain? Chi Fu: Oh! This is an enormous responsibility, General! Perhaps a soldier with more experience? General: Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques ... an impressive military linuage ... I believe Lee Shang will do an excellent job. Shang: Oh I will! I won't let you down! This is... I mean... Yes sir. General: Very good, then. We'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City. I'll expect a full report in three weeks. Chi Fu: And believe me, I won't leave anything out. Shang: Captain Lee Shang. Leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time. [They step outside] Chi Fu: Most impressive. General: Good luck, Captain! Yah! [He rides off, followed by two lines of soldiers on horses.] Shang: Good luck ... Father. Chi Fu: Day one. Shang: Soldiers! Soldiers separate, revealing a cowering Mulan Soldiers: HE started it! Shang: [to Mulan] I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp. Mulan: Sorry ... [in a deep voice] I mean, sorry you had to say that. But you know what it is when you get those manly urges ... just gotta KILL something. Fix things ... a cook outdoors ... Shang: What's your name? Mulan: uh...um...uh... Chi Fu: Your commanding officer just asked you a question! Mulan: I've got a name ... and it's a boy's name, too. Mushu: Ling! How 'bout Ling? Mulan: (to Mushu) HIS name is Ling. Shang: I didn't ask for HIS name, I asked for yours! Mushu: Uh ... Ah-chu! Mulan: Ah-chu! Shang: AH-CHU?! Mushu: Gesuintit! Hee hee ... I kill myself. Mulan: Mushu ... Shang: MUSHU? Mulan: No. Shang: Then WHAT is it?! Mushu: Ping! Ping was my best friend growing up. Mulan: It's Ping. Shang: Ping. Mushu: 'Course, Ping did steal my girl-- Mulan: Yes. My name is Ping. Shang: Let me see your conscription notice. [Mulan hands the scroll to him.] Fa Zhou? THE Fa Zhou? Chi Fu: I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son. Mulan: Er, he ... doesn't talk about me much. [She attempts to spit, but fails miserably.] Chi Fu: I can see why. The boy's an absolute lunatic! (Laughter) Shang: Okay, gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Ping, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. Tomorrow, the real work begins. Grumbling Mushu: You know, we have to work on your people skills. Inside Mulan's tent Mushu picks up Crickee and uses him for an alarm clock. Mushu: All right, rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! C'mon, hup, hup, hup! Mulan pulls the blanket over her, and Mushu pulls it off. Mushu: Get your clothes on, get ready! Got breakfast ready. Look, you get porridge! And it's happy to see you! Crickee is resting happily in the bowl of porridge, Mushu uses chopsticks to fish him out. Mushu: Hey, get out of there! You're gonna make people sick! Mulan: Am I late? Mushu: [stuffs porridge in her mouth] No time to talk. Now, remember, it's your first day of training, so listen to your teacher and no fighting, play nice with the other kids, unless, of course, the other kids want to fight, then you gotta kick the other kid's butt. Mulan: But I don't want to kick the other kids' butts. Mushu: Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face. Mulan looks at Mushu, her mouth full of porridge. Mushu: Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon, scare me, girl! Mulan: Rrrrraaaaarrrgggghhhhh! Mushu: That's my tough looking warrior! That's what I'm talking about! Now, get out there and make me proud! Khan neighs frantically Mushu: What do you mean, the troops just left? Mulan: They WHAT? [She rushes out of the tent] Mushu: Wait, you forgot your sword! [sniffs] My little baby, off to destroy people ... Chi Fu: Order! People, order! Soldier: I'd like a pan-fried noodle! Chien Po: Sweet and pungent shrimp. Chi Fu: That's not funny. Ling: Looks like our new friend slept in this morning. Why, hello, Ping, Are ya hungry? Yao: Yeah, cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich. Shang: Soldiers! You will assemble swiftly and silently, every morning. Anyone who does otherwise, will answer to me. He takes off his shirt, and Mulan stares in awe. Yao: Ooh, tough guy. Shang: [pulls out a bow and arrow and aims it at Yow, then at the top of a high pole in the middle of the camp.] Yow. Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow. Yao: I'll get that arrow, pretty boy, and I'll do it with my shirt on. [He walks over to the pole and prepares to climb up it.] Shang: One moment, you seem to be missing something. [He pulls two giant medals out of a box.] This represents disipline. And this represents strength. You need both to reach the arrow. [He ties them around Yao's wrists, and all the soldiers after him, and none of them can make it to the arrow.] Shang: We've got a long way to go. Beginning of "I'll Make a Man Out of You." Shang: Let's get down to business To defeat the Huns Did they send me daughters When I asked for sons You're the saddest bunch I ever met, but you can bet Before we're through Mister, I'll make a man Out of you. Tranquil as a forest But on fire within Once you find your center You are sure to win You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot And you can bet before we're through Mister, I'll make a man out of you. Chien Po: I'm never gonna catch my breath Yao: Say good-bye to those who knew me Ling: Boy I was a fool in school for cutting gym Mushu: This guy's got 'em scared to death Mulan: I hope he doesn't see right through me Chien Po: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim (Be a man) We must be swift as a coursing river (Be a man) With all the force of a great typhoon (Be a man) With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon Time is racing t'ward us Till the Huns arrive Heed my every order And you might survive You're unsuited for the rage of war So pack up, go home, you're through How could I make a man out of you (Be a man) We must be swift as a coursing river (Be a man) With all the force of a great typhoon (Be a man) With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon (Be a man) We must be swift as a coursing river (Be a man) With all the force of a great typhoon (Be a man) With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon! Shan Yu cuts the top off a tree. The hawk flies overhead and drops a small doll. Shan Yu jumps down from the tree and throws the doll to one of the Huns. Shan Yu: What do you see? Hun #1: Black pine ... from the high mountains! Hun #2: White horse hair ... Umperial stallions. Hun #3: Sulphur ... from cannons. Shan Yu: This doll came from a village in the Tung Show Pass, where the Imperial Army is waiting. Hun Archer: We can avoid them easily. Shan Yu: No. The quickest way to the emperor is through that pass. Besides, the little girl will be missing her doll. We should return it to her. Moo Shung Camp, at night Mushu: Hey, this is not a good idea. What if somebody sees you? Mulan: Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one. Mushu: so a couple guys don't rinse out their socks. Picky, picky, picky. Myself, I kinda like that corn-chip smell. Mulan: [Jumps in the water] Ah. Mushu: Okay, all right, alright, that's enough, now c'mon, get out before you get all pruney and stuff. Mulan: Mushu, if you're so worried, go stand watch! Mushu: Yeah, yeah. Stand watch, Mushu, while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits. Hygiene. Three (naked) men flash by, laughing. Mushu: We're doomed! There're a couple of things I KNOW they're bound to notice! Mulan ducks into the water as Ling, Yao and Chien-Po jump into the water. She tries to hide herself with a lilypad. Yao: Hey, Ping! Mulan: Oh, hi, guys, I didn't know you were HERE. I was just washing so now I'm clean and I'm gonna go. Bye-bye. Ling: Come back here! I know we were jerks to you before, so let's start over. Hi, I'm Ling. Chien Po: And I'm Chien-Po. Mulan: Hello, Chien-Po. Yao: And I am Yao, King of the Rock! And there's nothing you girls can do about it. Ling: Oh yeah? Well, I think Ping and I can take you! Mulan: I really don't want to take him anywhere. Ling: But, Ping! We have to fight! Mulan: No, we don't. We could just close our eyes, and ... swim around! Ling: C'mon! Don't' be such a ... OW! Something bit me! Mushu: What a nasty flavor. Ling: [sees Mushu] SNAKE!!! While Yao, Chien Po and Ling are shrieking, Mulan whistles for Khan and sneaks away. Ling: [huddled on the rock with Chien Po and Yao] Some King of the Rock. Mulan: Boy, that was close. Mushu: No, that was vile. You owe me big! Mulan: I never want to see a naked man again. A herd of naked men flash by. Mushu: Don't look at me, I ain't biting no more butts. In Chi Fu's tent Chi Fu: You think your troops are ready to fight? Hah! They wouldn't last a minute against the Huns! Shang: They completed their training. Chi Fu: Those boys are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be captain. Once the general reads my report, your troops will never see battle. Mushu: Oh, no, you don't! I've worked too hard to get Mulan into this war! This guy's messing with my plans! Shang: We're not finished! Chi Fu: Be careful, Captain. The general may be your father, but I am the Emperor's Council. And, oh, by the way, I got that job on my own. You're dismissed. Mulan: [to Shang] Hey, I'll hold him, and you punch! ... Or not. For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain! Mushu: I saw that. Mulan: What? Mushu: You like him, don't you Mulan: No! I ... Mushu: Yeah, right, sure. GO TO YOUR TENT! Smiling, Mulan walks away. Mushu: [to Crickee] I think it's time we took this war into our own hands. They rush into the tent as Chi Fu strolls out, dressed in a towel, a hat, and slippers. Crickee types out a letter, like a typewriter. Mushu: Okay, lemme see what you've got. [reads] From General Lee. 'Dear Son, we're waiting for the Huns at the pass. It would mean a lot of you'd come and back us up.' Hmm. That's great, except that you forgot, 'and since we're out of popourri, perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing up some!' HELLO! This is the army! Make it sound a little urgent, please. You know what I'm talking about? Crickee hops around typing out another letter. Mushu: That's better, much better! Let's go! Mushu: Khaney, baby. We need a ride. [Khan squirts him off, and Crickee slowly backs off.] At the lake. Laughter Chi Fu: Insubordinate ruffians. You men owe me a new pair of slippers! [More laughter] And I do not squeal like a girl! [He turns to see a straw soldier (Mushu and Crickee) riding a panda bear.] Eeeeeeek!!! Mushu: [In a deep voice] Urgent new from the general! [He holds out a scroll] What's the matter, you've never seen a black and white before? Chi Fu: Who are you? Mushu: Excuse me? I think the question should be, who are you! We're in a war, man! There's no time for stupid questions! I should have your hat for that! Snatch it right off your head! I'm feeling gracious today, so ... carry on. [Chi Fu turns, and the panda climbs up a nearby tree.] In the captain's tent Chi Fu: Captain! Urgent news from the general! We're needed at the front! Mushu: Pack your bags, Crickee, we're moving out! Begin "A Girl Worth Fighting For." For a long time we've been marching off to battle. In our thundering herd, we feel a lot like cattle. Like the pounding beat, our aching feet aren't easy to ignore. Hey! Think of instead, a girl worth fighting for! Huh? That's what I said! A girl worth fighting for! I want her paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars. My girl will marvel at my strength, adore my battle scars! I couldn't care less what she'll wear, or what she looks like! It all depends on what she cooks like! Beef, pork, chicken, mmm ... Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer! And I bet the ladies love a man in armor! You can guess what we have missed the most Since we went off to war! What do we want? A girl worth fighting for! My girl will think I have no flaws That I'm a major find How 'bout a girl who's got a brain, who always speaks her mind? Nah! My manly ways and turn of phrase and sure to thrill her! He thinks he's such a lady-killer! I've a girl back home who's unlike any other! Yeah, the only girl who'd love him is his mother! But when we come home, in victory They'll line up at the door! What do we want? A girl worth fighting for! Wish that I had A girl worth fighting for! A girl worth fighting-- The Chinese army stares in horror at the charred and burning remnants of a small village. They walk through it. Shang: Search for survivors! Mulan picks up a small doll Shang: I don't understand. My father should've been here. Chi Fu: Captain! (They turn to see a bloody battlefield full of dead Chinese soldiers. Chien-Po hands the general's helmet to Shang.) Chien-Po: The ... general. Shang takes his sword and sticks it in the snow, then places the helmet on the hilt and says a prayer. Mulan: I'm sorry. Shang: [mounts his horse] The Huns are moving quickly. We'll make better time to the Imperial City through the Tung Show pass. We're the only hope for the Emperor now. Move out! The army slowly walks away. Mulan places the doll by Shang's sword and joins the others. As the Chinese Soldiers slowly walk through the mountain pass, a rocket in the wagon attached to Khan suddenly goes off, shooting into the sky. Mulan looks at Mushu accusingly. Shang: What happened? You just gave away out position! Now we're-- [an arrow hits his shoulder, throwing him off the horse. Huns appear on a cliff, and arrows shower down on the soldiers.] Get out of range! The pitiful Chinese army struggles to get away from the Huns, but are intercepted by another group of Huns up on another cliff. Shang: Save the cannons! [The soldiers pass the cannons from the wagon to each other. The wagon gets hit by a flaming arrow, and Mulan cuts Khan's reins and mounts him. The wagon explodes, sending Mushu and Crickee flying. Mulan falls off the horse.] Mushu: Oh, sure, save the horse. [Mulan grabs Mushu and her sword and runs over to the other soldiers.] Shang: Fire! [The soldier lights the cannon, and it explodes on the mountain. More follow.] Fire! [There is no sound from the Huns, who are no longer on the cliffs.] Hold the last cannon. Suddenly, a horse appears on the hill. Shan Yu is soon joined by hundreds of Hun soldiers. Shang: Prepare to fight. If we die, we die with honor. [The Huns charge the Chinese Army.] Yao. Aim the cannon at Shan Yu. [Yao aims the cannon.] While glancing at her sword, Mulan notices a glacial overhang. She grabs the cannon and runs toward the Huns, aiming at the overhang. Shang: Ping! Ping, come back! Frantically, as Shan Yu draws nearer, his sword raised, Mulan fumbles with the match. Mushu: Okay, you might want to light that right about now, Quickly, quickly! [Mulan is attacked by Shan Yu's hawk, and loses the match.] Yao: C'mon, we gotta help! [The Gang of Three run toward Mulan, swinging their swords.] Mulan uses Mushu to light the cannon fuse, and it shoots off toward the overhang. Mushu: You missed! How could you miss?! He was three feet in front of you! [The cannon hits the overhang with a bang, and causes an avalanche that rains down on the Hun Army, burying in them. In fury, Shan Yu roars and hits Mulan in the side with his sword blade. She quickly runs away from the avalanche, pulling Shang with her. Khan runs toward them, and Mulan gets on and tries to give Shang a hand, but he loses his grip and is dragged into the snow.] Mushu: [riding down the snow in a hubcap] Mulan!! Mulan! Mulan? [He pulls a Hun's head out of the snow.] Nope. Mulan! [He reaches down and pulls out Crickee.] Man, you are one lucky bug. Mulan and Khan break out of the snow and race toward Shang, who, unconscious, is sliding on the snow toward a cliff. Mulan: Shang! [She pulls him up onto the saddle.] Chien-Po: [holding up Yao] Do you see them? Yao: Yes! [He fits an arrow, which is tied to a length of rope, and shoots it toward Mulan.] Perfect! Now I'll pull them to safety! [The rope slips through his hands.] Mushu: [sliding near Mulan and Shang] Mulan! I found a lucky cricket! Mulan: We need help! [The arrow flies near them, Mulan grabs it and ties it around Khan.] Mushu: [to Crickee] Nice, very nice! You can sit by me! [They climb up onto Khan, and notice the cliff.] Aaaugh!!! We're gonna die! We're gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming! [Mulan shoots the arrow up as they fall off the cliff.] Yao: [crying] I let them slip through my fingers ... [looks surprised as the arrow, complete with rope, lands in his hands. He is dragged toward the cliff edge, soldiers jumping on top of him. Finally Chien-Po walks over, picks all the soldiers up, and walks backward, pulling Mulan, Khan, and Shang up onto the ground.] Mushu: I knew we could do it! You the man! Well, sort of. Ling: Step back, guys. Give him some air! Shang: [breathing heavily] Ping, you are the craziest man I ever met. And for that, I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust. Ling: Let's hear it for Ping, the bravest of us all! Yao: You're King of the Mountain! Cheering Mulan tries to stand up, but collapses to the ground, gasping. Shang: Ping! What's wrong? [Mulan moves her hands to reveal blood.] He's wounded! Get help! [Mulan sinks into unconsciousness.] Ping, hold on. Hold on. The doctor emerges from his tent and says something to Shang, who looks disturbed and rushes inside. He looks at Mulan, who sits up in bed, her side bandaged. Shang stares at her, recognizing her as a girl. Mulan realizes her mistake and pulls the blanket back on. Mulan: I can explain! Chi Fu: So it's true! Mulan: Shang! Chi Fu: [yanking Mulan out of the tent and pulling her hair out of a bun] I knew there was something wrong with you! A woman! Treacherous snake! Mulan: My name is Mulan. I did it to save my father! Chi Fu: High treason! Mulan: I didn't mean for it to go this far! Chi Fu: Ultimate dishonor! Mulan: It was the only way! Please, believe me! Chi Fu: Captain? Shang walks over to Khan and takes out Mulan's sword. The Gang of Three start to rush over to her, but Chi Fu stops them. Chi Fu: [to the soldiers holding Khan] Restrain him. [to the Gang of Three] You know the law. Shang walks over to Mulan and throws the sword in the snow in front of her. Shang: A life for a life. My debt is repaid. [to the soldiers] Move out! Chi Fu: But you can't just ... Shang: [to Chi Fu] I said, 'Move out.' The Chinese Army sadly walks away, leaving Mulan, Mushu, and Khan in the snow. Mushu: I was this close. This close! To impressing the ancestors, getting the top shelf, in entourage ... man. All my fine work. [He uses the tip of an arrow to roast a piece of food over a tiny fire.] Mulan: I should never have left home. Mushu: Hey C'mon. You wanted to save your father's life. Who knew you'd end up shaming him, disgracing your ancestors and losing all your friends. Y'know, you just gotta ... just gotta learn to let these things go. Mulan: Maybe I didn't go for my father. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove that I could do things right. So that when I looked in the mirror (she picks up her helmet) I'd see someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing. Mushu: Hey, that's just cause this needs a little spit, that's all. [He spits on the helmet.] Let me shine this up for you. I can see you, lookit you, you look so pretty! The truth is, we're both frauds. Your ancestors didn't send me; they don't even like me. I mean, you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions. Crickee starts to cry Mushu: What do you mean, you're not lucky! You ... lied to me? [Crickee nods. Mushu turns to Khan.] And what are you, a sheep? Mulan: I'll have to face my father sooner or later. Let's go home Mushu: Yeah. This ain't gonna be pretty. But don't u worry, okay? Things will work out. We started this thing together and that's how we'll finish it. I promise. The shadow of a hawk flies overheard, and around a bend. Shan Yu climb out of the snow and looks around. He lets out a roar. Soon he is joined by five of his soldiers. They start down the path toward the Imperial City. Mulan watches them, grabs her sword, mounts Khan and turns after the Huns. Mushu: Uh, home is that way. Mulan: I have to do something. Mushu: Did you see those Huns? They popped out of the snow! LIKE DAISIES! Mulan: Are we in this together, or not? Mushu: [looks guilty] Let's go kick some Honey Bunch! [He and Crickee jump on Khan, and they ride down the mountain, whooping.] In the Imperial City The Chinese citizens watch happily as the Imperial City celebrates the Chinese victory with a parade. Parade Leader: Make way for the heroes of China! [Shang, the Gang of Three and the other soldiers follow glumly behind, and behind them is a large Chinese dragon.] Mulan comes riding up beside Shang Mulan: Shang! Shang: Mulan? Mulan: The Huns are alive! They're in the city! Shang: You don't belong here, Mulan. Go home. Mulan: Shang, I saw them in the mountains! You have to believe me! Shang: Why should I? Mulan: Why else would I come back? You said you'd trust Ping. Why is Mulan any different? [Shang rides around her.] [To the Gang of Three] Keep your eyes open. I know they're here. Yah! Mushu: [as Mulan dismounts Khan] Now where are you going? Mulan: To find someone who will believe me! [she hurries off into the crowd.] The Chinese Army climbs the steps to the Great Palace, followed by the Chinese Dragon. The Emperor meets them. Emperor: My children! Heaven smiles down upon the Middle Kingdom! Chin will sleep safely tonight, thanks to our brave warriors! Mulan: [to a citizen] Sir, the Emperor's in danger! Man: Huh! Mulan: But the Huns are HERE! [to another man] Please, you have to help! Man: Eh! Mulan: [to Mushu] No one will listen! Mushu: Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something? Mulan: Mushu ... Mushu: Hey, you're a girl again, remember? Shang: Your Majesty, I present to you the sword of Shan Yu. Emperor: I know what this means to you, Captain Li. Your father would have been very proud. Shan Yu's hawk swoops down and grabs the sword. It flaps up to the roof, where a line of stone gargoyles are resting. One of the gargoyles moves and takes the sword. Huns jump out of the Chinese Dragon. One of them grabs the Emperor and takes him into the palace. Shang: No! Yao: C'mon! [They run up to the palace, but the Huns close the great doors. On the roof, Shan Yu laughs.] The Chinese Army uses a statue to try to break into the palace. Mulan: They'll never reach the Emperor in time. [She looks around, then at the tall pillars by the side of the palace. She whistles to them.] Hey guys! I've got an idea! [The Gang of Three looks at each other and then follows Mulan, dropping the statue.] They all take off their equipment, and put on dresses and makeup, and they use the silk belts around their waists to climb up the pillars. Next to them, Shang takes off his cape and climbs up. Inside the palace, on a balcony, the Huns hold the Emperor. Shan Yu sticks his head in their faces. Shan Yu: [to the Emperor] Boo. [to his soldiers] Guard the door! [to the Emperor] Your walls and armies have fallen. And now it's your turn. Bow to me. Outside, Mulan and the Gang of Three prepare to get past the guards. Mulan: Okay. Any questions? Yao: Does this dress make me look fat? [he is slapped] Ow! The four "girls" walk near the guards, giggling. Guard: Who's there? Guard #2: Concubines. Guard: Ugly concubines. An apple rolls out of Ling's dress. One of the guards picks it up. The hawk notices Shang hiding, and tries to call out, but Mushu breaths fire and torches him. Mushu: Now that's what I call Mongolian barbeque. The guard hands the apple to Ling, but the Gang of Three all pull fruit out of their dresses and attack the guards. Mulan: Shang! Go! [Shang runs up the stairs and into the room where Shan Yu and the Emperor are.] Shan Yu: I tire of your arrogance, old man. Bow to me! Emperor: No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it. Shan Yu: [raising his sword] Then you will kneel ... in pieces! [He swings the sword; Shang rushes in and blocks it. He is swung around a pillar, and then kicks Shan Yu in the face.] Mulan: Chien-Po, get the Emperor! Chien-Po: Sorry, your Majesty. [He picks up the Emperor, and, using his silk belt, slides down the cord paper lanterns are strung on.] Shun Yu: No! [He picks up Shang and smashes his head against Shang's. Mulan winces, then looks down at the ground, where Yao and Ling are waiting.] Yao: Come on! Mulan looks back at the unconscious Shang, and at Shan Yu who is approaching him. She pulls Shan Yu's sword out of the pillar and cuts the cord. People below cheer. Shan Yu: No! [He turns to Shang, who is now conscious.] You! You took away my victory! [He is hit by a shoe.] Mulan: No! I did. [She pulls back her hair.] Shan Yu: The soldier from the mountain! [Abandoning Shang, he chases after Mulan, who is putting on her shoe. She slams the door shut, and he rams his fist through the wood. Mulan is joined by Mushu and Crickee, riding the feather-less hawk.] Mushu: So what's the plan? Mulan: Ummmmm ... Mushu: YOU DON'T HAVE A PLAN? Mulan: Hey, I'm making this up as I ... go ... [as they pass a window she notices a pile of fireworks and two men.] Mushu-- Mushu: Way ahead of you, sister! C'mon, Crickee! [They jump onto a paper kite decoration and float across to the tower. Shan Yu attacks Mulan, and she shinnies up a pole. Shan Yu cuts down the pole, and Mulan and the pole go through the wall. Mulan jumps up and grabs onto the roof and pulls herself up. She looks across to where Mushu and Crickee are gathering ammunition.] Mushu: Citizens. I need firepower! Citizen: Who are you? Mushu: [looking fierce] Your worst nightmare. [The two men jump off the tower.] Man: Look! On the roof! Mulan backs along the roof, mesuring the distance with her hands. Shan Yu crashes through the roof and raises his sword. Mulan pulls out a paper fan. Shan Yu: Guess you're out of ideas. [He stabs the sword through the fan; Mulan turns it around and readies the sword.] Mulan: Not quite. Ready, Mushu? Mushu: [with a rocket strapped to his back] I am ready, baby! [He breaths fire on a stick and hands it to Crickee.] Light me! Mulan kicks Shan Yu in the face, then trips him and pins his shirt to the ground with the sword. Crickee lights the fuse, and the rocket slams Shan Yu straight into the firework tower. Mulan: [picking up Mushu] Get off the roof, get off the roof! [As the fireworks explode, she jumps, catches a lantern and swings down the cord, then drops onto Shang, who is running down the stairs. Shan Yu's sword and Mushu land nearby.] Mushu: Ahahahahahaha! [He catches Crickee] You are a lucky bug! Chi Fu: That was a deliberate attempt on my life! Where is she? Now she's done it! What a mess! Stand aside, that creature's not worth protecting. Shang: She's a hero! Chi Fu: She's a woman. She'll never be worth anything! Shang: Listen, you pompous ... Emperor: That is enough! Shang: Your Majesty, I can explain! [The Emperor raises a hand and the Gang of Three move to the side, revealing Mulan.] Emperor: I've heard a great deal about you, Fa Mulan. You stole your father's armor, ran away from home, impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Chinese Army, destroyed my palace! And you have saved us all. [He bows to her, and row by row, every person in the Imperial City bows to her.] Mushu: Our little baby is all grown up and saving China! [To Crickee] Do you have a tissue? Emperor: Chi Fu! Chi Fu: Your Excellency? Emperor: See that this woman is made a member of my council. Chi Fu: What? There are no council positions open, your Majesty! Emperor: Very well. You can have his job. Chi Fu: Wha? ... My? ... [He faints.] Mulan: With all due respect, your Excellency, I think I've been away from home long enough. Emperor: Then take this [he hands her a pendant], so your family will know what you have done for me. And this [he hands her the sword of Shan Yu] so the world will know what you have done for China. Mulan takes the gifts, then hugs the Emperor Yao: Is she allowed to do that? [Ling, Chien-Po and Shang shrug.] Mulan steps away and hugs the Gang of Three, then walks over to Shang. Shang: Um ... you ... You fight good. Mulan: [disappointed] Oh. Thank you. [She mounts Khan.] Mulan: Khan, let's go home. [As she rides away, everyone cheers.] Emperor: [To Shang] The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all. Shang: ... Sir? ... Emperor: You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty! [He puts on his hat and walks away.] At Mulan's house Mulan approaches her father, who is sitting under the cherry trees. She kneels in front of him. Fa Zhou: Mulan! Mulan: Father! I've brought you the sword of Shan-Yu. And the Crest of the Emperor! They're gifts to honor the Fa Family. [Her father drops the gifts and hugs her.] Fa Zhou: The greatest gift in honor is having you for a daughter. I've missed you so. Mulan: I've missed you too, Baba. Granny Fa: [watching them] Huh. She brings home a sword. If you ask me she should've brought home a man! Shang: Excuse me, does Fa Mulan live here? Granny Fa and Fa Li point, dumbstruck. Shang: Thank you. Granny Fa: Woo! Sign me up for the next four! Shang: Honorable Fa Zhou, I-- Mulan! Uhhhh ... you forgot your helmet. Well, actually it's your helmet, isn't it, I mean ... Mulan: Would you like to stay for dinner? Granny Fa: Would you like to stay forever? Shang: Dinner would be great. Mushu: [to Great Ancestor] Who did a good job? C'mon, tell me who did a good job. Great Ancestor: Oh, all right. You can be a guardian again. Mushu: AAAAAHHH-HAAAAAAAA!!! Whoohoohoohoohoooo! Crickee rings the gong; all the ancestors come out. Mushu: Take it, Crickee! [Crickee plays a set of drums, and all the ancestors dance.] Ancestor #2: You know, she gets it from my side of the family! (Mushu swings on a chain, yelling. He falls off and goes sliding out the Temple door. Great Ancestor: Guardians. Mulan: Thanks, Mushu. [She kisses him on the forehead. Suddenly, Little Brother, followed by a herd of chickens, bursts into the Temple.] Great Ancestor: MUSHU!!!!

Fantasia

How do you do? My name is Deems Taylor, and it's my very pleasant duty to welcome you here... on behalf of Walt Disney, Leopold Stokowski... and all the other artists and musicians whose combined talents went into the creation of this new form of entertainment, "Fantasia" What you are going to see... are the designs and pictures and stories... that music inspired in the minds and imaginations... of a group of artists. In other words, these are not going to be... the interpretations of trained musicians, Which I think is all to the good. Tehre are three kinds of music on this "Fantasia" program. First there's the kind that tells a definite story. Then there's the kind, that while it has no specific plot, does paint a series of more or less definite pictures. Then there's third kind, music that exists simply for its own sake. The number that opens our "Fantasia" program, the "Toccata and Fugue," is music of this third kind-- what we call "absolute music." Even the title has no meaning... beyond a description of the from of the music. What you will see on the screen.. is a picture of the various abstract images... that might pass through your mind... if you sat in a concert hall listening to this music. At first, you're more or less conscious of the orchestra, so our picture opens... with a series of impressions of the conductor and players. Then the music begins to suggest other things... to your imagination. The might be... oh, just masses of color. Or they may be cloud forms... or great landscapes or vague shadows... or geometrical objects floating in space. So now we present... the "Toccata and Fugue in D minor" by Johann Sebastian Bach, interpreted in pictures by Walt Disney and his associates, and the music by the Philadelphia Orchestra... and its conductor Leopold Stokowski. You know, it's funny... how wrong an artist can be about his own work. Now, the one composition of Tchaikovsky's... that he really detested... was his "Nutcracker Suite" Which is probably the most popular thing he ever wrote. It's a series af dances taken out of a full-length ballet called "The Nutcracker"... that he once composed for the St. Petersburg Opera House. It wasn't much of a success and nobody performs it nowadays, but I'm pretty sure you'll recognize the music of the suite when you hear it. Incidentally, you won't see any nutcracker on the screen. There is nothing like to him but the title. Now we're going to hear a piece of music... that tells a very definite story. As a matter of fact, in this case the story came first... and the composer wrote the music to go with it. It's a very old story, one that goes back almost 2000 years. A legend about a sorcerer who had an apprentice. He was a bright young lad, very anxious to learn the business. As a matter of fact, he was a little bit too bright, because he started practising... some of the boss's best magic tricks... before learning how to control them. One day, for instance, when he'd been told by his master... to carry water to fill a cauldron, he had the brilliant idea... of bringing a broomstick to life to carry the water for him. Well, this worked very well at first. Unfortunately, however, having forgotten the magic formula... that would make the broomstick stop carrying the water, he found he' started something he couldn't finish. Mr. Stokowski. Mr. Stokowski. My congratulations, sir. Congratulations to you, Mickey. Gee, thanks. Well, so long! I'll be seeing you. Good-bye. When Igor Stravinsky wrote his ballet "The Rite of Spring"... I repeat, when Igor Stravinsky wrote his ballet "The Rite of Spring"... his purpose was in his own words. "to express primitive life." So Walt Disney and his fellow artists... have taken him at his word. Instead of presenting the ballet in its original form... as a simple series of tribal dances, they've visualised it as a pageant. as the story of the growth of life on Earth. And that story, as you're going to see it, isn't the product of anybody's imagination. It's a coldly accurate reproduction... of what science thinks went on during the first few billion years of this planet's existence. Science, no art, wrote the scenario of this picture. According to science, the first living things here... were single-celled organisms tiny little white or green blobs of nothing in particular... that lived undur the water. And then as ages passed, the oceans began to swarm... with all kinds of marine creatures. Finally, after about a billion years, certain fish, more ambitious than the rest, crawled up on land and became the first amphibians. And then several hundred million years ago, nature went off on another tack and produced the dinosaurs. Now, the name "dinosaur" comes from two Greek words... meaning "terrible lizard," and they were certainly that. They came in all shapes and sizes. From little crawling horrors about the size of a chicken... to hundred-ton nightmares. They were not very bright. Even thr biggest of them had only the brain of a pigeon. They lived in the air and the water as well as on land. As a rule, they were vegetarians, rather amiable and easy to get along with. Hoeever, there were bullies and gangsters among them. The worst of the lot, a brute named Tyrannosaurus Rex... was probably the meanest killer that ever roamed the earth. The dinosaurs were lords of creation for about 200 million years. And then-- Well, we don't exactly know what happened. Some scientists think that great droughts and earthquakes... turned the whole world into a gigantic dustbowl. In any case, the dinosaurs were wiped out. That is where our story ends. Where it begins is at a time infinitely far back... when there was no life at all on earth, nothing but clouds of steam boiling seas... and exploding volcanoes. So now, imagine yourselves out in space... billions and billions of years ago... looking down on this lonely, tormented little planet... spinning through an empty sea of nothingness. Before we get into the second half of the program, I'd like to introduce somebody to you, somebody who is very important to "Fantasia." He is very shy and very retiring. I just happened to run accross him one day at the Disney Studios. But when I did, I suddenly realized that he was... not only an indispensable member of the organization, but a screen personality whose possibilities nobody had ever noticed. So I'm very happy to have this opportunity to introduce to you the Soundtrack. All right, come on. That's all right. Don't be timid. Atta Soundtrack. Watching him, I discovered that every beautiful sound also created an equally beautiful picture. Now look. Will the Soundtrack kindly produces a sound? Go on! Don't be nervous. Go ahead! Any sound. Well, that isn't quite what I had in mind. Suppose we hear and see the harp. Now one of the strings. Say, the violin. Now one of the woodwinds. A flute. Very pretty. Now, let's have a brass instrument, the trumpet. All right. Now, how about a low instrument, the bassoon. Go on. Go on! Drop the other shoe, will you To finish, suppose we see some of the percussion instruments, beginning with the base drum. Thanks a lot, old man. The symphony that Beethoven called "The Pastoral" his sixth, is one of the few pieces of music... he ever wrote that tells something like a definite story. He was a great nature lover, and in this symphony he paints a musical picture... of a day in the country. Of course, the country that Beethoven described... was the countryside with which he was familiar. But his music covers a much wider field than that, and so Walt Disney has given the "Pastoral Symphony" a mythological setting. and that settings is of Mount Olympus, the abode of the gods. And here, first of all, we meet o group of fabulous creatures... of the field and forest-- unicorns, fawns, Pegasus the flying horse and his entire family, the centaurs, those strange creatures that are half man and half horse... and their girlfriends, the centaurettes. Later on, we meet our old friend Baccus, the god of wine, presiding over a baccchanal. The party is interrupted by a storm. and now we see Vulcan forging thunderbolts... and handing them over to the king of all the gods, Zeus. who plays darts with them. As the storm clears, we see Iris, the goddess of the rainbow... and Apollo, driving his sun chariot across the sky. And then morpheus, the god of sleep, covers everything with his cloak of night... as Diana, using the new moon as a bowl, shoots an arrow of fire that spangles the sky with stars. Now we are going to do... one of the most famous and popular ballets ever written-- the "Dance of the Hours"... from Ponchielli's opera "La Gioconda". It's a pageant of the hours of the day. We see first a group of dancers... in costumes to suggest the delicate light of dawn. Then a second group enters... dressed to represent the brilliant light of noon day. As these withdraw, a third group enters... in costumes that suggest the delicate tones... of early evening. Then a last group, all in black, the sommer hours of the night. Suddenly, the orchestra bursts into a brilliant finale... in wich the hours of darkness... are overcome by the hours of light. All this takes place in the great hall, with its garden beyond, of the palace of Duke Alvise, a Venetian nobleman. The last number in our "Fantasia" program... is a combination of two pieces of music... so utterly different in construction and mood that they set each other off perfectly. The first is "A Night on Bald Mountain"... by one of Russia's greatest composers, Modeste Moussorgsky. The second is Franz Schubert's world-famous "Ave Maria." Musically and dramatically, we have here a picture... of the struggle between the profane and the sacred. "Bald Mountain," according to tradition, is the gatherin place of Satan and his followers. Here on Walpurgisnacht, which is the equivalent of our own Halloween, the creatures of evil gather to worship their master. Under his spell, they dance furiously... until the coming of dawn and the sounds of church bells... send the infernal army slinking back... into their abodes of darkness. And then we hear the "Ave Maria," with its message of the triumph and hope of life... over the powers of despair and death.

Shrek

Shrek 2 ACT 1 Scene 1 There is a bed onstage behind a silky curtain, backlit. PRINCE CHARMING (os) Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. [enters gallantly onstage] It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep. For he was the bravest, and most handsome... in all the land. [looks at the audience] And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... [pulls back the curtain to reveal WOLF in the bed. Gasps] WOLF What? CHARMING Princess... Fiona? WOLF No! CHARMING [relieved] Thank heavens. Where is she? WOLF She's on her honeymoon. CHARMING Honeymoon? With whom? 2 Scene 2 THE SWAMP SHREK It's so good to be home! Just you and me and... DONKEY [offstage] One is the loneliest number that you ever do...[enters] Two can be as bad as one... SHREK Donkey? DONKEY Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed? SHREK Donkey, what are you doing here? DONKEY Taking care of your love nest for you. SHREK Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants? DONKEY Yeah, and feeding the fish! SHREK I don't have any fish. DONKEY You did. [looks around for the fish] SHREK Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. DONKEY Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? FIONA Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? DONKEY Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. I thought I'd move in with you. FIONA You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. SHREK But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone. DONKEY Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. SHREK Donkey! 3 DONKEY Yes, roomie? SHREK You're bothering me. DONKEY Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so...Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. SHREK He'll be fine. Now, where were we? [giggles] Oh.I think I remember. Donkey! DONKEY I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. What do you want me to tell these other guys? ROYAL MESSENGER enters to fanfare. MESSENGER [clears throat] "Dearest Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and your...uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. aka Mom and Dad." FIONA Mom and Dad? SHREK Prince Charming? DONKEY Royal ball? Can I come? SHREK We're not going. FIONA & DONKEY What? SHREK I mean, don't you think they might be a bit...shocked to see you like this? FIONA Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too. SHREK Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. FIONA Stop it. They're not like that. SHREK How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? FIONA Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance. SHREK To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? 4 FIONA No! They just want to give you their blessing. SHREK Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? FIONA If you want to be a part of this family, yes! SHREK Who says I want to be part of this family? FIONA You did! When you married me! SHREK Well, there's some fine print for you! FIONA [exasperated sigh] So that's it. You won't come? SHREK Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! ALL exit. SCENE 3 SHREK, DONKEY and FIONA re-enter with GINGY and PINOCHIO. SHREK is carrying luggage GINGY [walking by and picking up the 'warning, Ogres sign'] Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. PINOCHIO Hey, wait for me. DONKEY Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on, Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yeehaw! SHREK, FIONA and DONKEY pass back and forth on the stage every time the E/E (Enter/exit symbol appears) DONKEY Are we there yet? SHREK No. DONKEY Are we there yet? FIONA Not yet. E/E 5 DONKEY OK, are we there yet? SHREK No. DONKEY Are we there yet? FIONA No! E/E DONKEY Are we there yet? SHREK Yes. DONKEY Really? SHREK No! DONKEY Are we there yet? SHREK & FIONA No! E/E DONKEY Are we there yet? SHREK [mimics] Are we there yet? DONKEY That's not funny. That's really immature. SHREK That's not funny. That's really immature. DONKEY This is why nobody likes ogres. SHREK This is why nobody likes ogres. DONKEY Your loss! SHREK Your loss! DONKEY I'm gonna just stop talking. SHREK Finally! DONKEY This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! SHREK The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far...[softly] away! DONKEY All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. SHREK [groans] Are we there yet? FIONA [chuckles] Yes! DONKEY Oh, finally! ALL exit 6 SCENE 4 FAR FAR AWAY (CASTLE ENTRANCE) MESSENGER Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. SHREK and FIONA enter off-stage left. KING and QUEEN enter off-stage right. FIONA Well, this is it. KING This is it. MESSENGER This is it. [exits] SHREK [chuckles] So...you still think this was a good idea? FIONA Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. KING Who on earth are they? QUEEN I think that's our little girl. KING That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? QUEEN Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... SHREK Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches. FIONA They're my parents. SHREK Hello? They locked you in a tower. FIONA That was for my own... KING Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. QUEEN Harold, we have to be... SHREK Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. FIONA Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... KING A disaster! There is no way... FIONA You can do this. Both parties begin moving toward eachother 7 SHREK I really... KING Really... QUEEN don't... SHREK want... FIONA to... KING be... SHREK Here! FIONA Mom... Dad...I'd like you to meet my husband... Shrek. SHREK Well, um...It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. [chuckles nervously] DONKEY enters shaking off a GUARD DONKEY [off-stage] What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. [enters] What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. I had the hardest time getting into this place. KING No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Go! FIONA No, Dad! It's all right. It's all right. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon. DONKEY That's me: the noble steed. SHREK Oh, boy. QUEEN So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. FIONA Well...Shrek owns his own land. Don't you, honey? SHREK Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and... DONKEY [laughing] What? I know you ain't talking about the swamp. KING An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. QUEEN I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. SHREK and KING cough involuntarily 8 SHREK It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? KING Indeed. QUEEN Harold! SHREK What's that supposed to mean? FIONA Dad. It's great, OK? KING For his type, yes. SHREK My type? KING I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... SHREK Ogres, yes! QUEEN Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? KING Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! FIONA Dad! SHREK No, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! FIONA Shrek, please! KING I only did that because I love her. SHREK Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. KING You wouldn't understand. You're not her father! QUEEN Harold! FIONA Shrek! SHREK Fiona! KING Fiona! FIONA Mom! QUEEN Harold... DONKEY Donkey! FIONA exits crying 9 SCENE 5 STREETS OF FAR FAR AWAY FIONA enters, she hears the voice of FAIRY GODMOTHER FAIRY GODMOTHER (FG) Your fallen tears have called to me So, here comes my sweet remedy I know what every princess needs For her to live life happily... Both gasp FG Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're all grown up. FIONA Who are you? FG Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy godmother. FIONA I have a fairy godmother? FG Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. With just a wave of my magic wand, your troubles will soon be gone. For example, how about a sporty carriage to ride in style, with a sexy man-boy chauffeur named Kyle? KYLE enters FIONA Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, but... SHREK enters SHREK Fiona? Fiona. FIONA Oh, uh...Fairy Godmother... I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. FG Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen? FIONA Shrek is the one who rescued me. FG But that can't be right. SHREK Oh, great, more relatives! FIONA She's just trying to help. SHREK Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. FIONA What? I don't want to leave. When did you decide this? 10 SHREK Shortly after arriving. FIONA Look, I'm sorry... FG No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear. If you should ever need me... happiness...is just a teardrop away. SHREK Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy... FG So I see. Let's go, Kyle. FIONA Very nice, Shrek. SHREK What? I told you coming here was a bad idea. FIONA You could've at least tried to get along with my father. SHREK I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, even if I did want it. FIONA Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? SHREK Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? FIONA You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... SHREK Go on! Say it! FIONA Like an ogre! SHREK Here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or not...I am an ogre! And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. FIONA I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. [exits] DONKEY That's real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre!" SCENE 6 KING AND QUEEN'S BEDCHAMBER KING I knew this would happen. QUEEN You should. You started it. 11 KING I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me. QUEEN I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. QUEEN This is Fiona's choice. KING But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her. I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing? QUEEN Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young? We used to walk down by the lily pond and... KING they were in bloom... QUEEN Our first kiss. KING It's not the same! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! QUEEN Oh, stop being such a drama king. KING Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse! FG [out on the balcony] Hello, Harold. KING gasps QUEEN What happened? KING Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! I'll just stretch it out here for a while. FG We need to talk. KING Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed.[yawns] Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, how about... we make this a quick visit. What? [Bumps up against two armed guards] Oh, hello. Ha-ha-ha! So, what's new? FG You remember my son, Prince Charming? CHARMING enters KING Is that you? My gosh! It's been years. When did you get back? 12 CHARMING Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert...I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... FG Mommy can handle this.He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower...And what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married. KING It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. FG Harold. [GUARD reaches into his pocket] You've forced me to do something I really don't want to do. KING [gasps] What is that? What have you got there? GUARD pulls out a cellphone and gives it to FG FG My diet is ruined! Yes, I'd like two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chili rings... CHARMING I'll have the Medieval Meal. FG One Medieval Meal and, Harold... Curly fries? KING No, thank you. FG Sourdough soft taco, then? KING No, really, I'm fine. FG Nothing else thanks.[hangs up] We made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. KING [sighs deeply] Indeed not. FG So, Fiona and Charming will be together. KING Yes. FG Believe me, Harold. It's what's best. Not only for your daughter...but for your Kingdom. KING What am I supposed to do about it? FG Use your imagination. 13 ACT 2 SCENE 1 AT A PUB IN THE WOODS KING enters. A woman (UGLY STEPSISTER) is cleaning a glass with her back to the audience. KING [clears throat] Excuse me. Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. UGLY STEPSISTER turns around to reveal herself KING Ah! There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of. UGLY STEPSISTER Who's the guy? KING Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... He's an ogre. UGLY STEPSISTER Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly...he don't like to be disturbed. KING Where could I find him? UGLY STEPSISTER point to the dark corner of the room KING Hello? MYSTERIOUS VOICE Who dares speak to me? KING Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to about an ogre problem? VOICE You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money. KING Would... this be enough? [holds up a heavy satchel of coins] VOICE You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre. 14 SCENE 2 CASTLE SHREK is alone reading FIONA's diary. FIONA (offstage) Dear Diary... Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while. Must be like some finishing school. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family, and we'll all live happily ever after. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. A knock on door KING Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. SHREK No, no. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book. KING I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier. SHREK Okay... KING I don't know what came over me. Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over... SHREK Look, Your Majesty, I just... KING Please. Call me Dad. SHREK Dad. We both acted like ogres. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other. KING Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. A little father-son time? I know it would mean the world to Fiona. Shall we say, by the old oak? SHREK Sure. Fade out 15 SCENE 3 IN THE FOREST SHREK Face it, Donkey! We're lost. DONKEY We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. "Head to the darkest part of the woods...""Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches." The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! SHREK We passed that three times already! DONKEY You were the one who said not to stop for directions. SHREK Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad and I end up lost in the woods with you! DONKEY Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help. SHREK I know! I know. I'm sorry, all right? DONKEY Hey, don't worry about it. SHREK I just really need to make things work with this guy. DONKEY Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy. SHREK hears purring SHREK Well, well, well, Donkey. I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? DONKEY What? I ain't purring. SHREK Sure. What's next? A hug? DONKEY Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a... PUSS IN BOOTS enters PUSS Ha-ha! Fear me, if you dare! SHREK Look! A little cat. DONKEY Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! SHREK It's a cat, Donkey. Come here, little kitty, kitty. Come on, little kitty. Come here. 16 PUSS scratches SHREK's outstretched hand PUSS Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...Puss... in Boots! SHREK I'll kill that cat! PUSS Ah-ha-ha! [coughs, wheezes, retches, coughs, chuckles] Hairball. DONKEY Oh! That is nasty! SHREK What should we do with him? DONKEY Take the sword and neuter him. PUSS Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor. I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... SHREK Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this? PUSS The rich King? Sí. SHREK Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing. DONKEY Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. SHREK Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming. PUSS That's what the King said. Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. DONKEY Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her. SHREK Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just... I just wish I could make her happy. Hold the phone... "Happiness. Just a tear drop away." Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you! DONKEY Aw, man, where do I begin? First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going "Piñata!!" What is a piñata, anyway? 17 SHREK No, Donkey! I need you to cry! DONKEY Don't go projecting on me. I know you're feeling bad, but you got to [Puss steps on his foot] Aaaahhh! You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... KYLE enters with a cart KYLE Fairy Godmother is away from desk or with a client. But I can help you with your 'Happiness problems' [yawns] FAIRY GODMOTHER enters and Kyle stands up straight very quickly FG Kyle, I've been looking everywhere for you! Why aren't you [notices SHREK] What in Grimm's name are you doing here? SHREK Well, um, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. FG Oh-ho-ho! And there's some question as to why that is? Well, let's explore that, shall we? Cinderella."Lived happily ever after." No ogres! Snow White. A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. Sleeping Beauty. No ogres! Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman...No, no, no! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. SHREK All right, look, lady! FG Don't you point...those dirty green sausages at me! KYLE opens the cart to get a soda and SHREK notices the potions SHREK Ah... that's okay. We'll go. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother. FG I need a Monte Cristo Sandwich now. You've got me all worked up. [exits] SHREK looks at KYLE, smiles, then knocks him out. DONKEY Shrek, are you off your nut? SHREK Donkey, quiet and keep watch. DONKEY Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside. I'll laugh, too. I'll be giggling to myself. SHREK opens the cart and passes potions to PUSS 18 PUSS Toad Stool Softener? Elfa Seltzer? Hex Lax? SHREK Help me find "handsome." PUSS Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"? SHREK Well, what does it do? PUSS It says "Beauty Divine." SHREK That'll have to do. She's coming back. Go, Donkey! ALL exit. FG enters, with CHARMING following after. FG What happened here? Kyle! Clean this up. CHARMING Mother! FG This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. CHARMING Whoa, what happened here? FG The ogre, that's what! CHARMING What? Where is he, Mom? I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! FG Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still going to be king. We'll just have to come up with something smarter. KYLE Pardon. Um...Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion. FG What? [looks in the cart] Oh...I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. SCENE 4 THE ROYAL CASTLE QUEEN Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball. KING Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it matters. How do we know there will even be a ball? FIONA Mom. Dad. KING Oh, hello, dear. What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. FIONA Mom, have you seen Shrek? 19 QUEEN I haven't. You should ask your father. Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. CEDRIC Can I help you, Your Majesty? KING Ah, yes! Um...Mmm! Exquisite. What do you call this dish? CEDRIC That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. KING Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric. FIONA Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek? KING No, I haven't, dear. I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice... mud hole to cool down in. You know, after your little spat last night. FIONA Oh. You heard that, huh? KING The whole kingdom heard you. I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be...well, a bit of a brute. FIONA Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon. KING Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you. FIONA Shrek loves me for who I am. I would think you'd be happy for me. KING Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. Maybe you should do the same. SCENE 5 FOREST SHREK [reading the potion] "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine." You both will be fine? I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too. DONKEY Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here. SHREK It says, "Beauty Divine." How bad can it be? [sniffs the potion and sneezes] DONKEY See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think again! SHREK Well, here's to us, Fiona. DONKEY Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back. 20 SHREK I know. DONKEY No more wallowing in the mud? SHREK I know. DONKEY No more itchy butt crack? SHREK I know! DONKEY But you love being an ogre! SHREK I know! But I love Fiona more. DONKEY Shrek, no! Wait! SHREK drinks the potion. There's a long pause then...he farts DONKEY I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion. PUSS Maybe it's a dud. SHREK Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. [Thunder cracks and he passes out] DONKEY Shrek! Black out. Fade in CASTLE INTERIOR. FIONA enters with her luggage. KING There you are! We missed you at dinner. What is it, darling? FIONA Dad...I've been thinking about what you said. And I'm going to set things right. KING Ah! Excellent! That's my girl. FIONA It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. I'm going to go out and find him. And then we'll go back to the swamp where we belong. QUEEN Fiona, please! Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. Thunder cracks again and FIONA collapses KING Fiona! 21 ACT 3 SCENE 1 IN THE BARN - MORNING SISTER Good morning, sleepyhead. I love your kitty! SHREK Oh... My head... SISTER Here, I fetched a pail of water. SHREK Thanks. Uhh! [sees his reflection in the pale] Aahh! A cute button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks? I'm... I'm... SISTER Gorgeous! [moves in closer] I'm Jill. What's your name? SHREK Um... Shrek. SISTER Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? SHREK looks around confused SISTER You're tense. I want to rub your shoulders. SHREK Have you seen my donkey? DONKEY enters and begins studying SHREK, followed by PUSS DONKEY Wow! That's some quality potion, Shrek! What's in that stuff? PUSS "Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with... nervous disorders." SHREK What? PUSS Señor? "To make the effects of this potion permanent, the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight." SHREK Midnight? DONKEY Why is it always midnight? SISTER Pick me! I'll be your true love! SHREK Look, lady, I already have a true love. SISTER Oh... 22 PUSS Take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess. DONKEY And let's face it. Even though you are a lot easier on the eyes, inside you're the same old mean, salty... SHREK (simultaneously) Easy. DONKEY ...cantankerous, foul, angry ogre you always been. SHREK And you're still the same annoying donkey. DONKEY [Bashful] Yeah. SHREK Well...Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. DONKEY First things first. We need to get you out of those clothes. SISTER gasps SCENE 2 THE CASTLE GATES GUARD Halt! SHREK Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her. FIONA wakes up as a human and looks at herself in the mirror. She screams SHREK Fiona! FIONA Shrek? SHREK runs into FIONA's room as FIONA runs down to the castle gates. FG enters the room just before SHREK, she is cloaked. SHREK Fiona? FG Hello, handsome. FIONA Shrek! DONKEY Princess! FIONA Donkey? 23 DONKEY Wow! That potion worked on you, too? FIONA What potion? DONKEY Shrek took some magic potion. And well...Now, he's sexy! FIONA [looking at PUSS] Shrek? PUSS For you, baby... I could be. DONKEY Yeah, you wish. FIONA Donkey, where is Shrek? DONKEY He went inside looking for you. DONKEY and PUSS exit. FIONA Shrek? SHREK Fiona! Fiona! FG [blocks his exit with her wand] Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? CHARMING enters CHARMING Fiona? FIONA Shrek? CHARMING Aye, Fiona. It is me. What happened to your voice? SHREK The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. But not the way I feel about you. KING and QUEEN enter QUEEN Fiona? KING Charming? CHARMING [showing off outfit] Do you think so? [laughs] Dad. I was so hoping you'd approve. QUEEN Um... Who are you? KING Mom, it's me, Shrek. I know you never get a second chance at a first impression, but, well, what do you think? [Hugs FIONA] SHREK Fiona! Fiona! 24 FG Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho! Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon.[sighs deeply] Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? SHREK I just wanted her to be happy. FG And now she can be. Oh, sweetheart. She's finally found the prince of her dreams. SHREK But look at me. Look what I've done for her. FG It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. She's a princess, and you're an ogre. That's something no amount of potion will ever change. SHREK But...I love her. FG If you really love her... you'll let her go. SHREK leaves SCENE 3 THE UGLY STEPSISTER'S TAVERN SISTER Here you go, boys. PUSS Just leave the bottle, Doris. SISTER Hey. Why the long face? SHREK It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. PUSS I hate Mondays. DONKEY I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you. SHREK What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming. DONKEY Come on. Is he really that good-looking? SISTER Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. PUSS Oh. He sounds dreamy. 25 SHREK You know...shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. Look, guys. It's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins. DONKEY Except for you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. SHREK Aye. And that's why I have to let her go. KING enters in a cloak, at the back of the tavern. KING Excuse me, is she here? GUARD She's, uh... in the back. KING Oh, hello again. Fairy Godmother. Charming. FG You'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. KING Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming. CHARMING FYI, not my fault. FG No, of course it's not, dear. CHARMING I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? KING No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay? FG and CHARMING What? KING You can't force someone to fall in love! FG I beg to differ. I do it all the time! [pulls out a magical potion from her bag] Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming. KING Umm... no. FG What did you say? KING I can't. I won't do it. FG Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. Is that what you want? Is it? 26 KING No. FG Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. He's all high in the front. He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the back. CHARMING Oh. Thank you, Mother. DONKEY Mother? FG The ogre! Stop them! Stop them! The guards grab SHREK, DONKEY and PUSS and all exit SCENE 4 IN THE CASTLE The KING enters with a pair of tea cups. He pours the poison into one of them, just before FIONA enters. KING Darling? Ah. I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball? FIONA I'm not going. KING The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. FIONA There's just one problem. That's not my husband. I mean, look at him. KING Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love. You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. FIONA Change? He's completely lost his mind! KING Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? You might find you like this new Shrek. FIONA But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. I'd give anything to have him back. [reached for one of the tea cups] KING Darling. That's mine. Decaf. Otherwise I'm up all night. FIONA [drinking from the other cup] Thanks. 27 SCENE 5 THE DUNGEON DONKEY I got to get out of here! I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! SHREK You HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity. PUSS I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad. PINOCHIO Shrek? Donkey? PUSS Too late. SHREK Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here! GINGY Quick! Tell a lie! PINOCHIO What should I say? SHREK Anything, but quick! GINGY Say something crazy like, "I'm wearing ladies' underwear!" PINOCHIO I am wearing ladies' underwear. SHREK Are you? PINOCHIO I most certainly am not! [his nose grows] DONKEY It looks like you most certainly am are! PINOCHIO I am not! PUSS What kind? GINGY [looking in the back of PINOCHIO's lederhosen] It's a thong! PINOCHIO Oww! They're briefs! GINGY Are not. PINOCHIO Are too! GINGY Here we go. Hang tight. [picks the lock with PINOCHIO's nose] SHREK Okay boys! We've got to stop that kiss! 28 DONKEY I thought you was going to let her go. SHREK I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. DONKEY Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around! PINOCHIO It's impossible! You'll never get in. The castle's guarded. There's a moat and everything! [nose shrinks back down] GINGY Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick. SHREK Don't worry guys, I have a plan. To the castle! SCENE 6 THE ROYAL BALL ROYAL MESSENGER Ladies and gentlemen. Presenting Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek. AUDIENCE applauses, cheering. CHARMING begins waving and encouraging the audience FIONA Shrek, what are you doing? CHARMING I'm just playing the part, Fiona. FIONA Is that glitter on your lips? CHARMING Mm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste? FIONA Ugh! What is with you? CHARMING But, Muffin Cake... FIONA gets fed up and turns to leave, CHARMING looks at FG for help. FG [Sotto Voce] Play something! Now! [turns to the AUDIENCE] Ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to dedicate this song to... Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. CHARMING Fiona, my Princess. Will you honor me with a dance? AUDIENCE Dance! Dance! FIONA Since when do you dance? 29 CHARMING Fiona, my dearest, if there's one thing I know, it's that love is full of surprises. OUTSIDE THE BALL All right, fellas! Let's crash this party! GUARD Halt right there! GINGY Make me! GUARD grabs GINGY by the collar GINGY Not the gumdrop button! DONKEY and PUSS grab the GUARD DONKEY Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go! SHREK exits PUSS Today, I repay my debt. GUARD yells and is chased offstage by PUSS. DONKEY, PINOCHIO and GINGY FOLLOW SHREK Stop! Hey, you! Back away from my wife. FIONA Shrek? FG You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone. SHREK Pinocchio! Get the wand! PINOCHIO runs for the wand but gets zapped along the way. His 'PINOCHIO' nose is gone. PINOCHIO I'm a real boy! The WOLF barges in and blows the wand out of FG's hand, GINGY picks it up and accidentally zaps PINOCHIO, his wooden nose appears again. PINOCHIO I'm a real boy. Aah! Oh. FG That's mine! PUSS and DONKEY enter DONKEY Pray for mercy, from Puss... PUSS and Donkey! FG She's taken the potion! Kiss her now! CHARMING kisses FIONA 30 SHREK No! CHARMING and FIONA look at eachother longingly, SHREK is heartbroken. FIONA (headbutting CHARMING) Hya! ALL gasp SHREK Fiona. FIONA Shrek. SHREK and FIONA embrace FG Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion! KING Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. CHARMING [snatching the wand and tossing it back to FG] Mommy! FIONA Mommy? FG I told you. Ogres don't live happily ever after. FG tries to zap SHREK but KING grabs the wand. They both disappear. FIONA Oh, Dad![sobbing] PINOCHIO Is he...? GINGY Yup. He croaked. Croak sound can be heard. FIONA picks up a frog QUEEN Harold? FIONA Dad? KING I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. DONKEY And he gave you a hard time! SHREK Donkey! KING No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. To both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But I can see now... she already has it. Shrek, Fiona... Will you accept an old frog's apologies... and my blessing? QUEEN Harold? KING I'm sorry, Lillian. I just wish I could be the man you deserve. 31 QUEEN You're more that man today than you ever were... warts and all. Clock chimes PUSS Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion! SHREK Midnight! Fiona. Is this what you want? To be this way forever? FIONA What? SHREK Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this. FIONA You'd do that? For me? SHREK Yes. FIONA I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after, [SHREK leans in to kiss her but she stops him] with the ogre I married. PUSS Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! [sobs] Clock chimes. Flashing lights, as the crowd gathers round and reveals the ogre SHREK and FIONA SHREK Now, where were we? Oh. I remember. Fade out. Spotlight on DONKEY. DONKEY Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta? FANFARE

Bugs Life

[ Bird Chirping ] [ Insects Buzzing, Chittering ] [ Gasps ] No, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm lost! Where's the line? It just went away. What do I do? - Help! - We'll be stuck here forever! Do not panic. Do not panic! We are trained professionals. Now, stay calm. We are going around the leaf. A-Around the leaf? I don't think we can do that. Oh, nonsense. This is nothing compared to the twig of'93. - [ Whimpering ] - That's it. That's it. Good! You're doing great! There you go. There you go! Watch my eyes. Don't look away. - And here's the line again. - Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Soil. [ Laughing ] Good job, everybody! Oh, my. There's quite a gap, Mr. Soil. - Shouldn't we tell the queen? - I don't think we need to involve the queen in this. She's got enough on her plate already, training her daughter. Oh, yes. Princess Atta, the poor dear. Oh, wind's died down. They'll be here soon. -Just be confident, dear. You'll be fine. - [ Gasps ] There's a gap. There's a gap in the line. What are we gonna do? It's okay, Your Highness. Gaps happen. We just lost a few inches, that's all. Oh. Right. Your Highness, I can't count when you hover like that. Oh, of course. I'm sorry. Go ahead. - Guys, go shade someone else for a while. - [ Pet Chirps ] Okay, Atta. Now what do we do? Ahh-- Oh! Don't tell me. I know it. What is it? - We relax. - [ Chuckles ] Right. Oh, it'll be fine. It's the same, year after year. They come, they eat, they leave. That's our lot in life. It's not a lot, but it's our life. [ Laughs ] [ Chuckles ] Isn't that right, Aphie? Oh, you're such a cute little aphid. [ Rumbling ] - Ditch Dot! - Yeah, yeah! Hey, come back here! [ Strains, Grunts ] - Dot! - Yes, Mother. What did I tell you about trying to fly? Not until my wings grow in. - Right. - But Mom-- Dot, you're a young queen ant and your wings are too little-- I was talking to Mother. You're not the queen yet, Atta. Now, Dot, be nice to your sister. It's not my fault she's so stressed out. [ Sighs ] I know, I know. - I'm always acting like the sky is falling. - Look out! - Atta! - Princess Atta! - Oh! - Hey! -Stop that! - What do you think you're doing? - You could have killed somebody over here. - [ Gasps ] I'm sorry! - Oh, it's Flik. - Oh-- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! - Please forgive me. I'm sorry! - [ Coughing ] - [ Screams ] Princess Atta! - Flik, what are you doing? Oh, this! This is my new idea for harvesting grain. No more picking individual kernels. You cut down the entire stalk! - We don't have time for this. - Exactly! We never have time to collect food for ourselves. We spend all summer harvesting for the offering. - But my invention will speed up production. - Oh, another invention? Something for you too. Since you're gonna be queen, you could use this to oversee production. - Dr. Flora, if I may. - This is all very nice, but-- -Just an ordinary blade of grass and a bead of dew, right? - Flik, please. - Wrong! It is, in fact, a telescope. - [ Both Laugh ] - It's very clever, Flik, but-- - Hello, Princess! Aren't you looking lovely this morning! Not that you would need a telescope to see that. Listen! The princess doesn't have time for this! You wanna help fill this thing? Get rid of that machine, get back in line and pick grain like everybody else! - Like everybody else! - Please, Flik. Just go. I'm sorry, I was really just trying-- trying to help. Harvester. Why, we harvested the same way ever since I was a pupa. [ Sighs ] Where were we? - The food pile, Your Highness. - Oh, yes, yes. Hey, Flik! Wait up! Oh. Hello, Princess. You can call me Dot. Here, you forgot this. Thanks. You can keep it. I can make another one. - I like your inventions. - Really? Well, you're the first. - I'm beginning to think nothing I do works. - This works. Great. One success. [ Sighs ] - I'm never gonna make a difference. - Me, neither. I'm a royal ant and I can't even fly yet. I'm too little. - Being little's not such a bad thing. - Yes, it is. - No, it's not. - Is too! - Is not. Is not! Is not! - Is too. Is too! Is too! Oh! A seed. I need a seed. Ahh-- Ohh! Ah, here, here. Pretend-- pretend that that's a seed. - It's a rock. - I know it's a rock. But let's just pretend for a minute it's a seed. We'll just use our imaginations. Now, do you see our tree? Everything that made that giant tree... is already contained inside this tiny little seed. All it needs is some time, a little bit of sunshine and rain, and... voila! This rock will be a tree? Seed to tree. You've gotta work with me, all right? You might not feel like you can do much now, but that's just because, well, you're not a tree yet. You just have to give yourself some time. You're still a seed. But it's a rock. I know it's a rock! Don't ya think I know a rock when I see a rock? I've spent a lot of time around rocks! You're weird, but I like you. [ Horn Sounds ] [ Gasps ] They're here. - [ Gasping ] - [ Horn Continues ] [ Panicked Chattering ] - They're coming! - Run! - Dot! Dot! - Mom! - Mom! - Thank heavens! - Food to the offering stone. - [ Whistles ] Everyone, single file. Food to the offering stone and into the anthill. Now let's go! Go, go, go, go! Come on, keep movin', keep movin'! Good. [ Panting ] Okay. That's everyone. [ Flik ] Hey! Hey, wait for me! Get the food to the offering stone, then into the anthill. [ Screams ] No! No, no, no, no, no! Oh, oh! Oh, no. Princess Atta! Princess Atta! Princess Atta! [ Rumbling ] [ Whimpering ] They come, they eat, they leave. They come, they eat, they leave. Excuse me, pardon me. Pardon me, excuse me. Coming through. Sorry. Coming through. Princess Atta, there's something I need to tell you. - Not now, Flik. Shh! - But Your Highness, it's about the offering! -[ Rumbling Stops ] -[ Male Voice ] Hey, what's goin' on? Yeah, where's the food? [ All Gasp ] - What did you do? - It was an accident? [ Laughs Maniacally ] Boo! [ Laughs ] - Where's the food? - [ Whimpering ] - Hopper. - [ Gasps ] So, where is it? Where's my food? - I-I-Isn't it up there? - What? - The food was in a leaf sitting on top-- - Excuse me. Are you sure it's not up there? - Are you saying I'm stupid? - No. Do I look stupid... to you? Let's just think about the logic, shall we? Think about it for a second. If it was up there, would I be coming down here, to your level, looking for it? - Uh, I-- - Why am I even talking to you? You're not the queen. You don't smell like the queen. Sh-She's learning to take over for me, Hopper. Oh, I see. Under new management. So it's your fault. No, it wasn't me, it was-- Uh-uh-uh. First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault. - But-But I-- - It's a bug-eat-bug world out there, Princess, one of those circle-of-life kind of things. Now, let me tell you how things are supposed to work. The sun grows the food, the ants pick the food, the grasshoppers eat the food-- And the birds eat the grasshoppers. Hey, like the one that nearly ate you, you 'member? Oh, you shoulda seen it. This blue jay has him halfway down his throat, and Hopper's kickin' and screamin'. And I'm scared. I'm not goin' anywhere near, okay? Aw, come on. It's a great story. Ow, ow, ow. I swear, if I hadn't promised Mother on her deathbed... that I wouldn't kill you, I would kill you. - And believe me, no one appreciates that more than I do. - Shut up! I don't want to hear another word out of you while we're on this island. - Do you understand me? - [ Whimpers ] - I said, do you understand me? - How can I answer? You said I couldn't say another word. - Remember Ma! - [ Growls ] Hey, I'm a compassionate insect. There's still a few months till the rains come, so you can all just try again. But, Hopper, since it's almost the rainy season, we need this time to gather food for ourselves. Listen, if you don't keep your end of the bargain, then I can't guarantee your safety. And there are insects out there that will take advantage of you. Someone could get hurt. [ Snaps Fingers ] [ Screeching ] [ Snarling, Screeching ] [ Gasps, Squeals ] What's the matter? You scared of grasshoppers? [ Whimpering ] - Dot! - You don't like Thumper? - [ Snarls ] - Leave her alone! You want her? Go ahead-- take her. No? Then get back in line. It seems to me that you ants are forgetting your place. So let's double the order of food. - [ Gasps ] - No! But-But-- We'll be back at the end of the season, when the last leaf falls. You ants have a nice summer. Let's ride! - Yee-ha! - [ Grasshoppers Shouting ] [ Laughing ] Ooh! [ Chuckles Nervously ] Flik, what do you have to say for yourself? Sorry. I-- I'm sorry for the way I am. I didn't mean for things to go so wrong. I especially didn't want to make you look bad, Princess. - Well, Flik, ya did. - I was just trying to help. - Then help us-- don't help us. - Help, help. Help? Flik, you are sentenced to one month digging in the tunnels. Excuse me, Your Highness. Need I remind you of Flik's tunnel-within-a-tunnel project? Helpers to help us. That's it! We could-- It took two days to dig him out. Send him to Health and Ant Services. Heavens, no! We could leave the island, the river bed's dry. We could walk across and get helpers. We could! We could go find helpers to help us. - It's perfect! - Perfect? What's so perfect? Your Highness, don't you see? We could send someone to get help! - [ All Gasp ] - Leave the island? Why didn't I think of that? Oh! Because it's suicide! -She's right! We never leave the island. -Never leave! There's snakes and birds and bigger bugs out there! Exactly! Bigger bugs! We could find bigger bugs to come here and fight... and forever rid us of Hopper and his gang! - Ludicrous! - Who would do a crazy thing like that? - I'll volunteer. I'd be happy to volunteer. - [ Laughing ] You got a lot of spunk, kid, but no one's gonna help a bunch of ants. At least we could try. I could travel to the city! I could search there! If you went, you'd be on that silly search for weeks. Royal huddle. - Great idea, Princess. It's perfect! - Exactly. - Wait a minute. What did we just decide here? - To let Flik leave. While we keep harvesting to meet Hopper's demands. - You see, with Flik gone, he can't-- - He can't mess anything up! Flik, after much deliberation, we have decided to grant you your request. - Really? - Really? - Uh, really. Oh, thank you, Princess. Thank you so much for this chance. - I won't let you down, I promise, I promise, I promise. - That's fine. No, forget it. - I should help repair the damage before I go. - [ All ] No! No, no! [ Elderly Ant ] Just leave! [ Breathes Deeply ] Hey. Don't worry! The colony is in good hands! Bye, now. [ Ants Cheering ] All right. Hey, fellas. Beautiful mornin', huh? My dad gives you one hour before you come back crying. Does he, now? - My dad doesn't think that. - He doesn't, huh? - Naw, he's bettin' you're gonna die. - Oh. He says if the heat doesn't get ya, the birds will. I think he's gonna make it. -Nobody asked you, Your Royal Shortness. -Yeah, Dot. What do you know? Hey, hey, hey. Ease up. Come on. She's entitled to her opinion too. [ Gasps ] [ Birds Cawing ] Ohh. - So go, already. - [ Exhales ] - Hey! - The city's that way. - I know. - You're supposed to look for bugs, not dandelions. You leave him alone. He knows what he's doing. That's right. Here I go. For the colony, and for oppressed ants everywhere! Whoa-oh. - Wow! - Hey! - Hey-hey! - Bye, Flik! Wow! [ Chuckling ] Wow. Ohh! Whoa! [ Dot ] Good luck, Flik! Bye! Whoa-oh! Flik! [ Muffled ] I'm... okay! - Your dad's right. He's gonna die. - You just watch. He's gonna get the bestest, roughest bugs you've ever seen! [ Growls, Roars ] Get back! Get back! Get back, you horrible beast! - [ Roaring ] - I have no fear! Aye-eee! - Ooh! - Oh, my goodness. - [ Sobbing ] - Oh, no! [ Crowd Boos, Hisses ] - Oh, I'm so sorry, Dim. An owie? - Owie! Owie, owie. Please show Rosie the owie. All right, Dim. It's okay. I have been in outhouses that didn't stink that bad. This is ridiculous. What a disappointment! - Oh, no! - You! Come here! I want my money back! Uh, no refunds after the first two minutes. Popcorn! Stale popcorn! We're losin' the audience! You clowns get out there now! - I hate performing on an empty stomach! - Do your act, Heimlich. - Then you can eat. Not now, Slim. - P.T., what's the point? What's the point of going out there? They'll only laugh at me. - That's because you're a clown! - No, it's because I'm a prop! You always cast me as the broom, the pole, the stick, a splinter. You're a walking stick. It's funny! - Now go! - You parasite. Tra-la-la-la-la. Spring's in the air. And I'm a flower with nothing interesting to say. - [ Screams ] - A bee! I am a cute little bumblebee! Here I come! [ Screams ] Slow down, you flowers! [ Groans ] Candy corn! Here, let me help you to finish it. Hey, cutie! Wanna pollinate with a real bug? [ Laughs ] Ooh, come to papa! So, bein' a ladybug automatically makes me a girl, is that it, flyboy? Huh? - She's a guy! - Francis, leave them alone. - They are poo-poo heads! - Not again. Judging by your breath, you must have been buzzin' around a dung heap all day. - Come on, Francis. You're making the maggots cry. - [ Wailing ] [ Vocalizing ] All right, we're dyin' out there. Gypsy, quick! You and Manny-- - Shh! He's in a trance. - [ Humming ] Well, get him out of it! You and your husband are up now. Manny, we're on. Oh? Yet again it is up to me to rescue the performance. - Gypsy, come. - [ Humming ] [ Crashing ] - The stage is the other way, dear. - Yes, of course. Anytime, pal! - I'm gonna pick the hairs out of your head one by one! - Take your best shot! - You name the place! - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, 'cause when you get there, you are dead! - Francis, let me handle this. - That's no way to speak to a lady. - I heard that, you twig. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present Manto the Magnificent... and his lovely assistant, Gypsy! From the most mysterious regions of uncharted Asia, I give you the Chinese Cabinet... of Metamorphosis! Rosie, whole troupe. Onstage! Finale! Now! - Okay, I just need time to-- Coming, coming. - Now! Tuck, Roll, let's get moving, guys. We're up next. [ Speaking Foreign Language ] Don't you understand? We are up! - " Up-a." - [ Chattering ] - Hey! - Hey! They don't understand me. I summon the voice of Confucius-- Get off the stage, you old hack! [ Shrieks ] I demand to know who said that! - [ Laughing ] - How dare you! Ingrates! [ Gypsy ] Manny? Manny! I only got 24 hours to live and I ain't gonna waste it here. Come on. [ Screams ] I've just about had it with these losers! Flaming death! I hold in my hand the match-- the match that decides whether two bugs live or die this very evening. In a moment, I will light this trail of matches... leading to a sheet of flypaper dowsed in lighter fluid! Aimed directly at the flypaper are Tuck and Roll, the pill bug cannonballs! The cannon will be triggered by Dim, trained to jump at the sound of this bell... set to go off in 15 seconds. Our pill bugs' only hope of survival is... our mistress of the high wire, Rosie! Secured to a web line of exact length, Rosie will plummet down to these two posts, spinning a web of safety in less than 15 seconds! Not good enough, you say? Well, what if they were all... blindfolded! Ladies and gentlemen, may I suggest that those of you... with weak constitutions leave the arena, - for this act is so dangerous... - [ Bickering ] that if the slightest thing should go wrong-- - No! - Go? Okay, through the tunnel-- - Whoa! - [ Bell Dings ] - [ Chuckling ] - Whoa! - [ Screams ] - P.T! - Oh, no! - Oh! - [ Whimpering ] - Water! We need some water! - Water, water, water! - [ Laughing ] - [ Grunting ] Get me outta here! Oof! [ Laughs ] - [ Laughing ] - Wow! - It's the web. I'm sorry. - You're all fired. - We got the water! - Here we come, P.T! Whoo! Whoa! Burn 'im again! No, Harry, no! Don't look at the light! I can't help it! It's so beautiful! [ Screams ] Try not to look like a country bug. Blend-- blend in. [ Male Voice ] Hey, buggy! What do you expect? The guy's a tick. Wow! The city! [ Laughing ] Wow! Whoa-whoa-whoa! Making all stops to the septic tank, including standing water, empty bean can and dead rat. - Watch your stingers. All aboard! - Whoa! - Hey! Oh, sorry. - Get out of the way! - Watch where you're goin'! - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. - [ Violin Sound ] - [ Gasps ] Oh, sorry! Oh. I'm really, really sorry. That was an-an-an ac-ac-accident. - Hey, let go of me! - I'll show ya who's tough! - And stay out! - Tough bugs! - I knew an old lady who swallowed a fly-- - Wow! - Move it! - Whoa! [ Male Fly ] Hey, waiter! I'm in my soup! I've been workin' out. Feel my wing. Yo! Two Black Flags over here! - All right. - Hair of the dog you bit. Hey, who ordered the pu-pu platter? Here ya go, slick. Enjoy. Ow! Aah! Hey, I said no salt! Pardon me, sir. I represent a colony of ants, and I'm looking for tough bugs, you know, mean bugs-- Fired by a flea-- how humiliating! Let's face it: We stink. - You fired! - You fired! - Oh, will you shut up? - You fired! Someday I will be a beautiful butterfly, and then everything will be better. I can't believe the troupe is breaking up. We've always been together. - Farewell, my friends. - To the audience we'll never have. [ Gasps ] Francis! Your boyfriends from the circus are here! - [ Gasps ] - There she is. - Hello there, girly bug. - Shoo, fly. Don't bother me. Say, why don't you tell our pal, Thud, - what you said to us at the circus. - Yeah. - Somethin' about buzzin' around a dung heap? - [ Growls ] Excuse me. Hi. I represent an ant colony, and we're-- Hey, bartender! Bloody Mary, O-positive. Aha! - [ Sighs ] - Sir? Ladybug, ladybug fly away home - [ Laughs ] - Not so tough now, are you? All right, clown. Get up and fight like a girl. - Get ready to do the Robin Hood act. - I want to be Little John! - What part can I play? - You see, I'm looking for tough, warrior bugs. Stand back, ye flies! We are the greatest warriors in all bugdom! - Warrior bugs! - My sword! Swish, swish. Clang, clang. - Little John? - What ho, Robin? Justice is my sword and truth shall be my quiver! Wait, wait! No, no! I want to watch this! -Jawohl! - Thrust, parry, lunge! - [ Growls ] - Me thinketh it's not working! [ Gasps ] Back to Sherwood Forest! - Schnell! Schnell! - What's going on in there? [ All Screaming ] Help! Help! Get me out! [ Grunting ] Wow. - Oh, ow-ow-ow-ow. -[ Flik ] You're perfect! Oh, great ones! I have been scouting for bugs with your exact talents! - [ Gasps ] A talent scout. - My colony's in trouble. Grasshoppers are coming! We've been forced to prepare all this food. - Dinner theater! - Food? Please! Will you help us? - [ Growling ] - Where are they? - We'll take the job! - Really? - Yes, yes, yes! You can explain the details on the way. Hey! [ Chattering ] - Okay, come on, everyone. Break a leg! - Whoa, you're vicious! Hold on, Mr. Ant. Amazing! This is too good to be true! [ Laughs ] Ooh! So, you see, it was my fault that Hopper's coming back. But then, Princess Atta-- boy, is she one in a million-- she let me go out and find you. And after seeing you fight off those flies-- Boy, are those grasshoppers in for a surprise! [ Laughing ] [ Laughing ] [ Chattering In Foreign Language ] [ Grunts ] [ Moans ] - Dr. Flora! - Oh, dear. Not another one. - This is insane. - Insane. There's just not enough food left on the island! No way we can make double quota before Hopper comes. Well, we have to try, Thorny. We don't have any choice. Yeah, I know. Hey, look who's playing lookout again--little Speck! - The name is Dot. - Well, Spot, still lookin' for Flik? Forget it, Dot. That loser's never coming back. Flik! He did it! He did it! What? Quit shoving! This is it! This is Ant Island! Flik! Over here! Flik! Flik! - Hey! - He did it! He did it! Yea! - He did it! - Cool! [ Screams ] At the rate these leaves are dropping, we're gonna need a miracle. That's right! We need a miracle! - Run for your lives! - [ Anxious Chattering ] Ta-da! [ Bird Cawing ] [ Sighing ] Once again, our reputation precedes us. Hey, everybody! Hey! I'm back! Hey, guys! Hey-ey! Look-look-look who's here with me! Flik! Flik! Flik! You're back! I knew you could do it! - Flik? - It's Flik! [ Chattering ] - Flik has returned! - He's back? And he's accompanied by savage insects! What? How? He wasn't supposed to actually find someone! Oh, look at this. This is great. Look. - Oh, my ticker! - So, what are you supposed to be? He's a stick, stupid. You hit bugs with him. - Well, that's an oversimplification. - That's right, kids. Like this! - No! Put me down! - Ow! - Hey! - My, you just pop right open there, dontcha? - Ooh! Wow! - Uh-oh. Kids, He's kinda ticklish. - [ Laughing ] - Let's come on out. Careful. [ Laughs ] Well, my boy, you came through. - Aphie and I are very impressed. - [ Aphie Barks ] Princess Atta! Hey, guys, Princess Atta! She's the one that sent me to find you! - Did you see that really big bug over there? - He looks absolutely ferocious! - They're our ticket out of this mess! - They came just in time! So, Princess Atta, what do you think? No-no-no, wait! This was not supposed to happen. Mayday, Mayday. We're losin' the job. We don't fight grasshoppers. - We don't, but they will. - Bingo! We gotta sweeten the deal. Your Majesty, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, our troupe here guarantees a performance like no other! Why, when your grasshopper friends get here, we are gonna... knock them dead! [ Cheering ] Boy, these folks are sure hard up for entertainment. Come on, come on. Hurry! [ Panting ] Wow! [ Lively Dance Beat ] Honey, relax. You should be proud of yourself. - Your instincts on that boy were right on the money. - [ Chuckles ] [ Music Ends ] And to make our official welcome complete-- Mr. Soil? - Yes, Your Highness? - He's our resident thespian. Last year he played the lead in Picnic. [ Laughs ] The children-- and myself-- have quickly put together... a little presentation in honor of our guests. Dot, Reed, Daisy, Grub? Oh, aren't they adorable! Ooh, they're cute! The South Tunnel Elementary School second grade class... would like to present you with this, a mural we have drawn... of you bugs helping us fight the grasshoppers away. Oh, look at the beautiful colors of the blood. We drew one of you dying because our teacher said it would be more dramatic. - [ Gasps ] -[ Ants Applauding ] - [ Playing Harp ] - I tell you a tale of heroes so bold, who vanquished our grasshopper enemies of old. Look, the last leaf has fallen. [ Together] We are the grasshoppers! Where's our food? Who will come to save us poor ants? We are the warriors, here to defend you! I die! Die! Die! [ Cheering ] - [ Chattering ] - Thank you, thank you! Oh, thank you! - Hey, hey, hey! - I say we go. - Okay, honey. You're up. - Oh. Um-- - Oh, oh, I-I-- - We're all very grateful to have... - Here, here. - [ Amplified ] the warriors-- Thanks. [ Clears Throat ] - I'd like to thank the warriors for helping us in our fight... - [ Arguing ] against the grasshoppers. Secondly, I would like to thank Flik... - for his forthright thinking-- - Thank you, Your Highness. Oh, sure, I'd like to take credit for all of this, but that wouldn't be right. Because it was you, Princess Atta. You believed in me-- - Tell that ant that we need to talk to him right now. - Okay, okay. I know I've made mistakes in the past, and I hope that this will make up-- - Flik! - Not right now, Rosie. I'm making a speech. [ Grumbles, Whispers ] Now, I truly believe these bugs are the answer to our-- No, there's no circus around here. So, I-- [ Gasps ] [ Whimpers ] Your Highness, the warriors have called for a secret meeting to plan for a circus-- circumventing the oncoming hordes so they can trapeze-- trap them with ease! - Shouldn't I come too? - No! [ Laughs Nervously ] No, classified in the D.M.Z. Gotta go A.S.A.P. You know, strictly B.Y.O.B. Bye! Sorry. Sorry I have to take the warriors away so early, but you know they have a lot to get done, with the battle looming and all. So, uh, please, everyone enjoy the party. " B.Y.O.B."? Thanks again. Bye. Bye-bye. Okay, just-- just get in there. Go! Go! Go, go, go! Circus bugs? How can you be circus bugs? - What? - Hey, hey, hey. - You said nothin' about killin' grasshoppers. You lied to us! -Ja! Are you kidding? Do you know what this is? This, my friends, is false advertising. How dare you! You, sir, are the charlatan in this scenario-- touting your wares as a talent scout, preying upon the hungry souls of hapless artistes. Good day to you, sir. Wait! No, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait! You can't go. You have got to help me. Give me some time, I'll come up with a plan. -Just go tell them the truth! - They can't know the truth. The truth, you see, is bad. I will be branded for life. My children's children will walk down the street, people will point and say, " Look! There goes the spawn of Flik, the loser!" Oh-- oh, you know, all right, fine. Yeah, okay. Just go. But if you could just do me a little favor before you leave. If you could squish me, that would be great, because, uh, when they find out, I'm as good as dead. -[ Princess Atta ] Flik! - [ Gasps ] I really do think I should be part of this meeting. Flik! Aah! Princess Atta! What a nice... surprise. Just what exactly is going on? I would like to speak with the so-called " warriors." You can't! They are in the middle of a top secret meeting right now, and they really should not be disturbed... now. Right, guys? [ Gasps ] Could you ex-- pl-- Could you excuse me, please? - Wait, wait, wait! Please, don't go! - I'm not going anywhere. What is going on? Flik? Flik! [ Groans ] Ooh, I knew it! [ Flik In Distance ] Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Please! Don't go! - No! - Quick, he's losin' it! - You can't go! I'm desperate! - Really? I couldn't tell. Hmm. Come on, wings. [ Screams ] Help! Mother, Flik is up to something. Okay, Flik, time to put ya down. Get him off me! He's cutting off the circulation. - No, no, no, no! - Let go! - Please, please, don't go! - [ Rosie ] Put the stick down. Flik, I mean it, now. - Drop the stick. - [ Screams ] Run! Boy, he runs fast for a little guy. - [ Squawks ] - Tweet-tweet! Tweet-tweet! [ All Gasp, Scream ] This way. - There they are. - [ Bird Chirping ] - [ Gasps ] A bird! - [ Screams ] Flik! - Look! - Dot! - [ Whimpers ] Flik! - [ Screaming ] - Dot! - My baby! [ Gasps ] I gotcha! I gotcha! I gotcha, I gotcha! - [ Grunts ] - Oww! Oooh. - I can't see! - Somebody do something! - Are they all right? - Did anyone see? - What is happening? - Dot? - Good heavens, they're in trouble! - Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis-- - Oh, you guys, I've got an idea! Here! I've got it! Please, ma'am, wake up! Wake up! [ Screaming ] - Help! Help! - Yoo-hoo! Mr. Early Bird! How about a nice, tasty worm on a stick? I'm going to snap. I'm going to snap. Nice and juicy, succulent-- [ Flik ] Let's go! - There they are! - Flik! Help! Okay. - Flik! - It's going to be okay, Dot. Ooh-hoo-hoo! Bye-bye, birdie! Help! I'm stuck! Pull me down! Schnell, schnell, schnell! - The caterpillar's using himself as live bait! - How brave! [ Screaming ] - [ Screeching ] - Suck it in, man! Ow. My leg! [ All Screaming ] [ Flik Screaming ] [ Chirping ] [ Gasps ] The bird! Look out for the bird! - Flik! - [ Gasps ] - Up-a, up-a! - [ Screams ] [ All Pant ] -[ Distant Applause ] - What is that? That, my friends, is the sound of applause! [ Cheering ] Applause-- I'm in heaven! [ Sighs ] Our Blueberry troop salutes you bugs for rescuing our smallest member, Princess Dot. And as a tribute to Miss Francis, we've changed out bandannas! We voted you our honorary den mother! - [ Ants Cheering ] - What? Great. - [ Chattering ] - All right, girls. Let's move your keisters outta here now. The patient needs her rest, you know. Come on. Excuse, me, Flik. Can I talk to you for a second? - Huh? Oh, sure. - Oww! Again, thank you all, very, very much. - Oh, stop it. - You're too kind. - Thank you. You don't think I've offended the warriors, do you? You? No. Oh, good. Because, you see, when you first brought them here, I thought you'd hired a bunch of clowns. Ya did? [ Laughs Nervously ] Don't tell 'em I said that. Boy, that's all I'd need, another royal blunder like that. - Princess, you're doin' a great job. - Thanks, you're sweet. You're wrong, but sweet. - I know what everyone really thinks. - I don't follow you. Everyone-- the whole colony. Nobody really believes I can do this job. It's like they're all watching me, -just, just-- - Waiting for you to screw up. - Flik, I owe you an apology. - For what? Well, I haven't been that nice to you, and... I'm sorry. If there's any way I can make it up to you-- Hey! I know! How would you like to be the queen's official aide to the warrior bugs? - Me? - Oh, sure. You've got a great rapport with them, especially after that rescue-- it was very brave. - Really? Naw, naw-- - Well, not every bug would face a bird. - I mean, even Hopper's afraid of 'em. - Yeah, well, I guess maybe I-- - Say that again? - I said, even Hopper's afraid of birds. Thank you. - Hopper's afraid of birds! - And I don't blame 'im! Oh, oh, oh, this is perfect. We can get rid of Hopper, and no one has to know that I messed up. You just keep pretending you're warriors. Whoa, Flik, honey. We are not about to fight grasshoppers, okay? You'll be gone before the grasshoppers ever arrive. Here's what we do. Not another word. I don't know what you're concocting in that little ant brain of yours, but we'll have no part of it. Excuse me? Could we get the warriors' autographs? Autographs? Ja! - Wow! Great! - So, you fellas catch the action today? Oh! The bird went-- [ Whooshes ] and it just missed you! - Aren't you sweet? - And the way you pretended to be stuck in that crack! [ Chuckling ] Oh, that's just all part of the plan. And then you dive-bombed into the bush! - There you go, my boy. - Wow! Thanks! " M-M-Maa-jor--" That's Major Manny, young cadet. -I outrank everyone here. Remember that. -Yes, sir! - Dismissed! - Wow! - When I grow up, I'm gonna be a praying mantis! - I'm gonna be a stick bug! Oh, they're all so cool, I can't pick! [ Chuckling ] Delightful lads. You were saying, Flik? All right. We are going to build a bird-- a bird that we can operate from the inside, which would then be-- ...hoisted above the anthill and hidden high in the tree. Then, right when Hopper and his gang are below, we'll launch the bird and scare off the grasshoppers. Now it's going to take everyone's involvement-- ...to make this plan a reality. I know it's not our tradition to do things differently, but if our ancestors were able to build this anthill, we can certainly rally together to build this bird! [ All Cheering ] [ Laughing ] - Perfect! - Okay, hit your marks! - Whoa! - Whee-hee! - [ Giggles ] Hi, Flik. - Oh. [ Snickering ] [ Chuckles Nervously ] [ Chattering ] - I love what you did with your antenna. - Oh, thank you. Oh, look. She's a natural mother. [ Growling ] All right, that's it! Out! Everybody out! [ Whimpering ] Now you're gonna cry, right? See if I care. Go ahead, cry. -[ Sobbing ] - Please, don't cry. Please. - [ Continue Sobbing ] - Huh? - Ta-da! - [ Cheering ] - Okay, lower, lower-- - [ Dim Chuckles ] - You got it. And that's it! - Whoa! [ All ] Up, up, up, up! Rabbit through the hole, chicken in the barn, two by two by, there's the yarn. - Done! - Ruben Kincaid! - Hey! - Good job, guys! Nice work! Up, down. Up, down. Up, down. - Hmm. - Hmm. - [ Chuckles ] - Ah-ah-ah. Read 'em and weep. - Huh? - [ Girls Giggle ] Whoo-whee! Yahoo! - Flik, watch out! - Whoa! - Look! I'm a beautiful butterfly! - [ Laughs ] There ya go. Good job, fellas. Keep up the good work. Huh? Okay! [ Together] You're fired! [ Laughing ] [ Ants Cheering ] Yes! [ Mariachi Band ] Whoo-hoo! Look at me! I'm barefootin'! Whoo-hoo! Yo, bugito, dos granitos, pronto! [ Skier] You gotta try this, man! [ Buzzing ] La cucaracha, la cucaracha Da-da-da-da-da-da-da [ Whimpering ] [ Buzzing ] ...all the way back there and it starts to rain, we might as well be suckin' bug spray. Ooh, don't even say that! You know somethin'? You're makin' a lot of sense. I mean, why take the risk? - You should tell Hopper. - Good idea. But, you know, it's really not our place. You're his brother. That makes you, like... the vice president of the gang. Wow! It kinda does, doesn't it? Okay, I'll tell 'im. I should talk to you guys more often. - What if Hopper doesn't like it? - Then the genius'll get smacked and not us. Vice President Molt. [ Laughing ] Ooh, yeah, that's good. Oh, that's good. - Ooh, a little lower. Ahh, lower. - Hey ya, Hop. - Go away. - That's fine. Then I won't tell ya my idea. - Good! - Okay, okay. I'll tell ya anyway. I've been thinkin'-- which is somethin' I do, bein' vice president and all. This is a thought, and it was mine: Why go back to Ant Island at all? - You don't even like grain. - What? You're right. I didn't think it was such a good idea myself. It wasn't even my idea. It was Axle and Loco's! They talked fancy to me. I got confused! - [ Grumbles ] - La cucaracha, la cucaracha Da-da-da-da-da-da-da [ Music Stops ] Guys, order another round... because we're stayin' here! - [ Cheering ] - Yeah! What was I thinking? Going back to Ant Island. I mean, we just got here, and we have more than enough food to get us through the winter. Right? Why go back? [ Music Resumes ] But there was that ant that stood up to me. - Yeah, but we can forget about him! - Yeah, it was just one ant. - [ Mock Scared ] Ooo-oooh! - One ant! Yeah, you're right! It's just one ant! - Yeah, boss. They're puny! - Hmm, puny. Say, let's pretend this grain is a puny little ant. - Didn't that hurt? - Nope. - Well, how 'bout this one? - Are you kiddin'? - [ Laughing ] - Well, how 'bout this? [ Screaming ] You let one ant stand up to us, then they all might stand up. Those puny little ants outnumber us a hundred to one. And if they ever figure that out, there goes our way of life! It's not about food. It's about keeping those ants in line. That's why we're going back! Does anybody else wanna stay? He's quite the motivational speaker, isn't he? Let's ride! [ Caribbean Band ] -[ Ant ] To the bird! -[ Ants ] The bird! Hey! - Hey! - Whoo-hoo! Hey! - Hey! - Whoo! - Get down, roly boys! - [ Laughing ] - How low can you go? Sing it now. - How low can you go -Do it, Princess. How low can you go -[ Laughs ] And that's how my 12th husband died. [ Laughs ] So, now I'm a widow. I mean, I've always been a black widow, but now I'm a black widow widow. [ Laughs ] [ Laughing ] Whoo! - Thorny! Any sign of those fiends? - Lemme check. No, not yet. But we'll be ready for 'em. Blueberries, dismissed! - [ Giggling ] - And, uh, quit beatin' the boys up. Those little raisins do grow on ya. Hey, how you guys doin'? Some party, huh? Is that grain dip fresh or what? Okay, I've told everyone you'll be stationed deep in the command bunker. Party quiets down, I sneak you out the back way and then you're outta here forever. Dim don't wanna go. Well, if Dim stays he's gonna need me here. He's not fully trained. - I mean, house-trained. - [ Chuckles ] I, uh, I kinda promised the Blueberries I'd teach 'em canasta. It seems we've been booked for an extended engagement. [ Smooching, Laughing ] Will you look at this colony? Will you just look at this colony? I don't even recognize it. [ Chuckles ] I feel 70 again! Work that ab, baby! [ Laughs ] And I have you bugs to thank for it. So-- thank you! And, uh, thank you for findin' 'em, Flik. Me? Oh, ooh-- uh, uh, I'll get it. I mean, if you don't mind, I'll just-- - It's all tangled up. - [ Laughing Nervously ] - There. - Ow! I think I'll go check on the bird. [ Giggling ] - Bird's this way. - [ Laughing Nervously ] Yeah, the bird's that way. [ Chuckling ] She-- What? [ Gasps ] Jiminy H. Cricket! [ Horn Blares ] They're back! Get ready, everybody! Get to your posts! Battle stations, everyone. This not a drill. Come on, everyone. You know your jobs! Let's go, go, go, go! - [ Screams ] - Look out! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there. Steady, girls. That's it. - Oh, it's P.T. - P.T.? Greetings and salutations! Ooh-boppa-doo and how do you do? I am the great P.T. Flea! [ Laughs ] I'm in need of your assis-- Oh, let's just cut to the chase. Look, I've been goin' from anthill to anthill. I'm lookin' for a bunch of circus performers. Have you seen 'em? - [ Crowd Groans ] - [ Gasps ] Wait a second. Ain't that Staff Sergeant Slim? No, no, no. I'm sorry, no, but uh-- [ Continues, Indistinct ] - [ Rustling, Groaning ] - [ Whispering ] Be quiet! Hey! [ Flik ] You'll probably-- you'll probably want to get goin; I guess you got a lot of other anthills to check into, so, bye! - [ All Gasp ] - Ah, guys, I've been lookin' all over for ya! - Flaming Death is a huge hit! - P.T! Sh-- - I'm serious. Word of mouth got around. - P. T.! No! The next day, there was a line of flies outside the tent went on forever! - It must have been a foot long! -[ Rosie ] P. T., no! So, I figured it out. You guys burn me twice a night, I take a day off to heal, and then we do it all over again! We'll be the top circus act in the business! [ Guffaws ] You mean, you're not warriors? Are you kiddin'? These guys are the lousiest circus bugs you've ever seen. And they're gonna make me rich! [ Chortling ] You mean to tell me that our entire defensive strategy... was concocted by clowns? Hey, hey, hey, hey. We really thought Flik's idea was gonna work. [ Crowd Gasps, Groans ] - Oops. - Tell me this isn't true. - No, you don't-- You don't-- - This couldn't have happened at a more inopportune time! The last leaf is about to fall! [ Dr. Flora ] We haven't collected any food for the grasshoppers! If Hopper finds out what we almost did-- Hopper is not going to find out. We're going to hide all this, and pretend it never happened. You bugs were never here. So I suggest you all leave. But the bird! The-The bird will work. I never thought I'd see the day when an ant would put himself... -before the rest of his colony. - What? - The point is, Flik, you lied to us. - No, no, no! I-I-- You lied, Flik. You lied to her. You lied to the colony! You lied to me! And like an idiot, I believed you. But I-I was just afraid that... if you knew I'd gotten circus bugs-- [ Sighs Deeply ] - I just wanted to make a difference. - I want you to leave, Flik. And this time, don't come back. [ Crowd Gasps, Murmurs ] - [ Gasps ] - [ Whimpers ] Tough crowd. Yee-haw! Flik! [ Thumper ] Get those bugs! [ Panting ] [ Crowd Chattering ] [ Grunting ] That's it? But there's got to be more food on the island! If we give up any more, we'll starve. - Hopper won't accept this! -[ Roaring ] [ Roaring Intensifies ] - [ Whimpering ] - Mother, it's not enough. - What do we do? - I-I don't know. -[ Roaring Stops ] - [ Gasping ] [ Gasping, Swallowing ] [ Heavy Footsteps ] [ Gasps ] [ Growling, Screeching ] - [ Crowd Gasping ] - You little termites! I give you a second chance, and this is all I get? - [ Screaming ] - But Hopper, we ran out of time! Have you been playing all summer? You think this is a game? - No, no, please! - Well, guess what? You just lost. - [ Screeching ] - Not one ant sleeps... until we get every scrap of food... on this island! Just do what he says. You don't want to make him mad. Believe me! No, no, no. You're staying with me, Your Highness. - [ Screaming ] - What do you think you're doing? - Get over there. - Quick! To the clubhouse. - [ Rustling ] - [ Gasping ] Hurry! - Shh! - [ Grasshopper ] Shut up a minute, will ya? - I think I heard something over here. - Have you checked over there? - No, not yet. - Then get over there and check it out! - Wait a minute. - [ Gasps ] - Hey, I think I found something. - [ Footsteps Approaching ] [ Laughs ] Cool. Hey, how do I look? Like an idiot. Oh, I don't know, maybe it'll keep me dry in the rain. You moron, we'll be out of here before it rains. Didn't you hear Hopper? After the ants pick all the food, he's gonna squish the queen to remind 'em who's boss. Then she's dead. They cry--boo-hoo-- we go home. End of story. Oh! Cool. I love our job. Stay here. I'm gonna get help. [ Grunts ] [ Panting ] Ooh! - [ Snarling ] - [ Screaming ] - [ Grunting ] - [ Panting ] - [ Roaring ] - [ Grunting ] [ Screeching ] [ Screaming ] [ Grunting ] [ Panting ] Come on, wings, fly. Fly! - [ Roaring ] - [ Screaming ] [ Screaming Fades ] [ Growling ] [ Screeching ] Yeah! Whoa-oh! [ Panting, Grunting ] [ P.T. Humming, Indistinct ] I'm gonna be rich, rich, rich I'm gonna be rich, rich, rich I'm gonna be the richest flea in the land Ka-ching! The streets'll be paved with golden retrievers I'm rich, rich, rich That's who I am [ P. T. Continues Singing, Indistinct ] - Poor fellow. - Hey, maybe we can cheer him up a bit. Don't worry, Flik. The circus life isn't so bad. - Yes, you can be part of our act. - Here! Like this. Oof! Ahh. Slapstick! Get it? I-I'm a walking stick. [ Laughs Weakly ] Oh, never mind. -[ Dot ] Flik! - Dot? Flik, wait! Wait! Dot, you're flying! What are you doing here? [ Panting ] You... have to go back. Hopper moved into the anthill, and his gang's eating everything! - Oh, no! - Good heavens! And I heard a grasshopper say that when they're finished, Hopper's gonna squish my mom! - Oh, not the queen! - Do something! - How? - [ Rosie ] Come on, you guys, think! - I know. The bird. - Yes, of course. - The bird! That's brilliant. -Ja! - The bird won't work. - What are you talking about? It was your idea. - But you said that everything-- Forget everything I ever told you. All right, Dot? Let's face it. The colony is right. I just make things worse. That bird is a guaranteed failure. [ Sighs ] Just like me. You listen to me, my boy. I've made a living out of being a failure. And you, sir, are not a failure! - Oh, but Flik, you've done so many good things. - Oh, yeah? Okay, show me one thing I've done right. - Umm-- - Us. -[ Bugs ] Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Dim is right, my boy. You have rekindled the long-dormant embers of purpose in our lives. And if it wasn't for you, Francis would have never gotten in touch with his feminine side. Oh yeah? Well-- Hmm. [ Chuckles ] You know what? He's right. Lieutenant Gypsy reporting for duty. - Kid, say the word and we'll follow you into battle. - We believe in you, my boy. Flik, please? Pretend it's a seed, okay? [ Chuckles ] Thanks, Dot. - Hey, what's with the rock? - Must be an ant thing. All right, let's do it. - [ Laughing, Cheering ] - That's the Flik we know and love. - We're on! - So, what do we do first? Bugs will pay big bucks to see A bonfire that is starring me [ Laughing ] P.T., look. Money! [ P. T.] Where? Where? [ Screaming ] All right. Get movin'! Get goin'. Move your abdomens, now! [ Flik ] They're rounding everyone up. - [ Gasps ] - Hey! Turn your butt off. Psst! Hey, guys! Get me out of this thing, will ya? I promise to start thinkin' about payin' ya. Hey! Wait, wait! Okay, I'll pay ya! I'll pay ya! [ Flik ] Oh, no! They've finished collecting the food. We've got to get the queen now. Once she's safe, we move on Gypsy's signal. -[ Rattling ] - [ Gasps ] Someone's coming! [ Rattling Continues ] Hello, kids! Ready to make some grasshoppers cry? It's payback time, Blueberry-style. - [ Grunting ] - Blueberries rock! - [ All Cheering ] - All right! - [ Growling ] -[ Drum Rolling ] [ Slim ] Ladies and Gentlebugs! Larvae of all stages! Rub your legs together for the world's greatest bug circus! - Wait a minute. - [ Brakes Screeching ] - I think I'm going to wet myself. - Steady-- - What's going on here? - Well, uh-- Uh, yes. [ Chuckling ] We were invited by Princess Atta... as a surprise for your arrival. - Squish 'em. - [ Gasping ] Ooh-- [ Gasps ] [ Together] Hey! [ Gibberish ] [ Continues, Alone ] [ Yelling Gibberish ] [ Bickering Continues ] Now that's funny. That is funny. I guess we could use a little entertainment. Looks like you did something right for once, Princess. -[ Laughing Uneasily ] On with the show! -Hi-ya! Hey! The circus, the circus I love the circus [ Cheering, Yelling ] [ Panting ] - [ Sucking ] - Ba-ba all gone! Baby wants pie! Pie? He asked for it. Should I give it to him? Yeah! Give 'em pie! Give 'em pie! - [ All Cheering ] - Yeah! Hah! Thank you, gentlemen. Always an intellectual treat. Say, how many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb? Can't tell. As soon as the light goes on, they scatter! [ Hysterical Laughing Continues ] [ Laughing ] [ Panting ] Ah, almost there. From the most mysterious regions of uncharted Asia, - I give you the Chinese Cabinet... - Come on, girls. Quick. Quick. of Metamorphosis! Utilizing psychic vibrations, - [ Gasps ] Ooh, ohh, pick me! - I shall select the perfect volunteer. Ooh, no! Come on, I'm askin' ya with my brain. - [ Moaning ] Aha! Why, Your Majesty! - Me? - [ Snarling ] - No, no. Thumper, down. Let her go. Maybe he'll saw her in half. [ Snickering ] As you ascend the dung beetle to the unknown, put your trust in the mysteries that are beyond mere mortal comprehension. Ooh, this is gonna be good! - Blueberries ready? - [ All ] Ready. - [ Amplified Voice ] Ready! - Shh! I call upon the ancient Szechwan spirits... to inhabit the body of our volunteer! No, no. Just stay in there, Your Majesty. Transformation. Transformation! Transformation! Wow. Manny's gettin' good. - [ Gasps ] Not now. - If it rains, that bird'll get ripped to shreds! Shh! And now, insectus... transformitus! [ All ] Ooh! - Ooh! - Ooh, pretty! -[ Applauding ] - Thank you, thank you. - Thank you. - That's the signal. That's the signal! [ Grunts ] This is it, girls. Get ready to roll. - Huh? It's stuck! - That was amazing! I have no-- How did they do that? I have no idea where she went. - Thank you. Thank you, thank you. -[ Audience ] More, more, more! Wait! - Where is she? - Well, now, uh, actually-- I am sorry. A magician never reveals his secrets. That's very true, Hoppy. Where would the mystery be if we all knew how it was-- - Shutting up. - [ Grunting ] - You can do it! You've got to make it work! - Hey! I said, where is she? - [ Whimpering ] - Ohh! [ Grunting ] [ Screaming ] Hold on! [ Amplified Cawing ] [ Screaming ] Bird! It's a bird! [ All Yelling ] [ Cawing ] - [ Laughing ] - Let's get out of here! Go! Don't let it get me! Don't let it get me! Help me! Aaah! [ Cackling ] [ Dot ] Up, down, up, down. - And turn! - [ Grunting ] [ Screaming ] - Oh, my eye! Help me! - [ Screaming ] [ Screaming ] [ Screaming ] Mmm, boysenberry. Huh? Aah, no, no, no, no, no! [ Grunting ] - [ Screaming ] - [ Moaning ] Oh, the pain! There goes my magic act! - Flaming gas! - No! P.T! [ Screaming ] A direct hit! Ah-hee-ha! - [ Screaming ] - Run! - [ Gasps ] - Flik! Help us! [ Snarls ] [ Gasps ] Dot! [ Flik ] Okay! Everyone out! Hurry! [ Coughing ] Where's Dot? Anyone seen Dot? - [ Screaming ] - Whose idea was this? Huh? Was it yours, Princess? Just get behind me, girls. It'll be okay. [ Flik ] Leave her alone, Hopper. The bird was my idea. I'm the one you want. [ Snapping ] [ Shrieking ] [ Blows Landing, Flik Grunting ] - Ohh. - [ Grunting ] - [ Shrieking ] - [ Snapping ] [ Growling ] Where do you get the gall to do this to me? [ Panting ] You were-- You were gonna squish the queen. - [ All Gasping ] - It's true. I hate it when someone gives away the ending. - [ Roaring ] - [ Moaning ] You piece of dirt! No, I'm wrong. You're lower than dirt. You're an ant! Let this be a lesson to all you ants. Ideas are very dangerous things. You are mindless, soil-shoving losers, put on this earth to serve us! [ Flik ] You're wrong, Hopper. [ Groaning ] [ Inhaling Deeply ] Ants are not meant to serve grasshoppers! I've seen these ants do great things. And year after year, they somehow manage... to pick food for themselves and you. So-So who is the weaker species? Ants don't serve grasshoppers. It's you who need us. [ Crowd Gasping, Chattering ] We're a lot stronger than you say we are. And you know it, don't you? [ Grunts ] [ Chuckles ] Well, Princess! Umm, Hopper? I hate to interrupt, but, um-- You ants stay back! - Oh, this was such a bad idea! - You see, Hopper, nature has a certain order. The ants pick the food, the ants keep the food, and the grasshoppers leave! [ Yelling ] - I'm so proud of you, Flik! - Charge-a! Where are you going? They're just ants! Oof! - [ Screams ] - [ Snarls ] No! Bad grasshopper! Bad grasshopper! Go home! - [ Roaring ] - [ Roaring Louder] [ Whining, Yelping ] - [ Chuckles ] - Yeah! [ Hopper ] Come back here, you cowards! Don't leave! - [ Flik ] To the cannon! - [ Ants ] To the cannon! [ Hopper] No! [ Hopper Screaming ] [ Chuckles ] Happy landings, Hopper! - [ Thunder Crashing ] - Huh? Rain! [ Growling ] [ Roaring ] - Flik! - Quick! After them! - Yaah! - Aah! Aah! Aah! Slim! - Francis! Francis! Francis, I'm stuck! - Where are ya? - I'm over here! Here! - Where? I'm the only stick with eyeballs! - Help! Help! - Get him! - Yes! Yes! - [ Thunder Crashing ] No! - [ Giggling ] - [ Chattering ] - [ Chattering ] - [ Giggling ] [ Screaming ] - Go that way! I've got an idea! - But the anthill's over-- - [ Hopper Roaring ] - [ Atta Screaming ] - Flik! - Come on! [ Screaming ] [ Flik ] There! [ Atta Grunts ] Come on! We've gotta hide! No matter what happens, stay down! Flik, no! What are you doing? - Uh-- Hopper! - You think it's over? No, no, no. No, I-I can explain. - All your little stunt did was buy them time! - No, please! Please, Hopper! I'll get more grasshoppers and be back next season, but you won't! [ Chirping ] - [ Choking ] - Well, what's this? Another one of your little bird tricks? - Yup. - Are there a bunch of little girls in this one too? - Hello, girls! - [ Screeching ] [ Screaming In Terror] No! No! No, no, no, no! No! Aah! [ Screaming ] No! Oh, no! Oh, no! No, no, no! [ Screams ] [ Horn Blowing ] Come on, boys! - Hey, Princess Dot! Wait up! - [ Giggling ] [ Sighs ] I finally get a second to relax, and I gotta get out of my chair. - Come on! You can rub lotion on me later, shade boy. - Yeah, hubba-hubba. [ Both Laughing ] - [ Laughing, Chattering ] - [ Heimlich ] Oh, thank you! - Oh, you're too kind! - It was the least we could do. All in a day's work. Dim! - Ohh! - [ Kids ] Ohh! I'm so sorry, kids. I wish you could come along too. - [ Kids Weeping ] - I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. [ Chattering ] [ Chattering ] [ Laughing ] Hey, let's go. We got a schedule to keep. Come on, let's go. - Hup, hup, hey! - Hey, Tiny! Let's get this show packed up! We got paying customers hatching! Yes, Mr. Flea. Yes, sir. Of course, sir. Right away, sir. And, um, I just wanted to thank you for giving me a chance, because it's an honor to work with creative giants such as yourself. - Shutting up. - You sure you can't come on tour with us? - Sorry. My place is here. - Good answer. Oh, well. Your loss. One minute, insects! I wanna thank all of you... for giving us back our hope, our dignity, and our lives. And to you, Princess Atta. You have given us so much. Please accept this gift from us bugs... to you ants. - For you! - Oh! It's a rock. - [ Chuckling ] - What's with the rock? Must be a circus thing. [ Giggling ] Well, Flik, you really goofed up. - Thanks. - Yeah, you too. [ Gasps ] [ Crowd Cheering ] - [ Giggling ] - [ Sniffling ] All right. Now it's gettin' mushy. - We're outta here! Hy-aah! - [ Whip Cracking ] - Whoa! - [ Rosie ] See ya next season! - [ Francis ] See ya, Flik! - Bye! We miss you already! - You fired! - [ Gasps ] We forgot Heimlich! I'm finished! Finally, I'm a beautiful butterfly! [ Grunting ] Mein wings! Oh, they're beautiful! [ Flik ] Heimlich! The wagon's taking off! You better start flying! But I am flying! And from way up here, you all look like little ants! Auf Wiedersehen! Bye! Present stalks! Harvester, salute! Was a bug, little bug Hardly there How he felt, what he dreamed Who would care - Without any evidence - His flaws were many, ooh - He was full of confidence - Some people haven't any - Didn't have much common sense - It's highly overrated He just knew that he'd come through It's the time of your life So live it well It's the time of your life So live it well We may only go round one time As far as I can tell It's the time of your life So live it well We may only go round this one time - As far as I can tell - He could be wrong about me - It's the time of your life - Time, life - It's the time of your life - Time, life It's the time of your life So live it well -[ Beeping ] -Speed! - Marker. -[ Director ] And--action! - Are you saying I'm stupid? - No! - Do I look stupid... to you? [ Laughs Hysterically ] - I'm sorry! -[ Beeping ] - Are you saying I'm stupid? Oh-- - [ Laughing ] - I'm sorry! I got it. No, no. Do it again. I'm fine. -[ Beeping ] - Are you saying I'm stupid? - Yes! [ Laughing ] This is the 15th take. I cannot work like this. - I will be in my trailer. - I need a break. -[ Beeping ] - Marker. -Whoa, Flik honey, we are not about to-- -[ Banging ] - Is someone hammering? - [ Sighs ] -Could we hold the work, please? People? -[ Ringing ] Am I in this shot? You can see me, right? -[ Beeping ] -And--action! To infinity, and beyond! -[ Laughing ] - I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. Really, can you blame me? - Okay, let's go for real now. Sorry. - Okay, cut! Why go back to Ant Island at all? - I mean, you don't even like grain. - What? You're right. I didn't think it was such a good idea myself. - Actually, it wasn't even my idea. It was-- - Watch it! -[ Crashing ] - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Is the camera broke? Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did I ruin the take? -[ Beeping ] - And thank you for findin' 'em, Flik. Me? Oh, oops, ow, ow. - Ow, ow, ow! - Uh, oh, oh no. Oh no, oh-- - This really hurts, guys. Can we cut? Ow! - I'm sorry, I'm s-- Oh! [ Beeping ] So, is there a Mrs. Ant you have to tunnel home to? Oh, I'm sorry! I thought he was real. [ Laughing ] Ooh, dear. Put that thing in my car. -[ Beeping ] - Marker. Flik, after much deliberation-- [ Screaming ] -[ Rattling, Banging ] - [ Laughing ] -[ Beeping ] - Ohh, I-- Ow. Oh. My eye! Oh. No, no. Seriously, I've got berry juice in my eye! - [ Laughing Fiendishly ] - It stings! Stop acting. I'm serious. - Oh, stop the camera! - [ Beeping ] - [ Laughing ] - [ Gurgling, Liquid Trickling ] Uh-oh. Towel! I need a towel over here! [ Laughing ] - [ Breaking Wind ] -[ Director ] Cut! -[ Beeping ] - [ Shrieking ] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - [ Groaning ] - Can we-- Can we cut? It's just I don't think I'm comin' across. Hmm. Oh, oh, I know. I know. I could lather up a bunch of spit. Ooh, ooh, that's good. I got it, J.L. One more for me. -[ Beeping ] -Speed! - Marker! Action! Spinning a web of safety in less than 50-- Bleh! It's the time of your life So live it well It's the time of your life So live it well We may only go round one time As far as I can tell It's the time of your life So live it well Like us all he started small Then he grew When the time came he knew What to do - He knew in order to succeed - They'd have to work together - He turned a rock into a seed - And they were changed forever Then they had the strength they'd need - To get through stormy weather - Do or die, you gotta try It's the time of your life So live it well It's the time of your life So live it well You may only go round one time - As far as I can tell - You may be wrong about me It's the time of your life So live it well Isn't it a bit surprising How our fortunes ebb and flow And only to the enterprising Does the magic fortune cookie go Believe me It's the time of your life So live it well It's the time of your life So live it well We may only go round one time As far as I can tell It's the time of your life It's the time of your life It's the time of your life So live it well