Random questions and answers (online) part 10

Does photographic memory exist?

Does Photographic Memory Exist? January 1, 2013 Does Photographic Memory Exist? Credit: Sean Gladwell Getty Images I developed what appears to be a photographic memory when I was 16 years old. Does this kind of memory truly exist, and, if so, how did I develop it? —Peter Gordon, Scotland Barry Gordon, a professor of neurology and cognitive science at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine (and no relation), offers an explanation: ADVERTISEMENT The intuitive notion of a "photographic" memory is that it is just like a photograph: you can retrieve it from your memory at will and examine it in detail, zooming in on different parts. But a true photographic memory in this sense has never been proved to exist. Most of us do have a kind of photographic memory, in that most people's memory for visual material is much better and more detailed than our recall of most other kinds of material. For instance, most of us remember a face much more easily than the name associated with that face. But this isn't really a photographic memory; it just shows us the normal difference between types of memory. Even visual memories that seem to approach the photographic ideal are far from truly photographic. These memories seem to result from a combination of innate abilities, combined with zealous study and familiarity with the material, such as the Bible or fine art. Sorry to disappoint further, but even an amazing memory in one domain, such as vision, is not a guarantee of great memory across the board. That must be rare, if it occurs at all. A winner of the memory Olympics, for instance, still had to keep sticky notes on the refrigerator to remember what she had to do during the day. So how does an exceptional, perhaps photographic, memory come to be? It depends on a slew of factors, including our genetics, brain development and experiences. It is difficult to disentangle memory abilities that appear early from those cultivated through interest and training. Most people who have exhibited truly extraordinary memories in some domain have seemed to possess them all their lives and honed them further through practice. ADVERTISEMENT Various parts of the brain mature at different times, and adolescence is a major time for such changes. It's possible Mr. Gordon's ability took a big jump around his 16th birthday, but it's also possible he noticed it only then. Mr. Gordon might want to have formal testing, to see just how good his memory is and in what areas. Then we can debate the nature-nurture question from harder evidence. This article was originally published with the title "I developed what appears to be a photographic memory when I was 16 years old. Does this kind of memory truly exist, and, if so, how did I develop it?" in SA Mind 23, 6, 70 (January 2013) (Scientific American)

What does Twilight Zone mean?

1. a state of mind between reality and fantasy; dreamlike or hallucinatory state. 2. a vague or uncertain state or condition. a twilight zone between right and wrong. (Collins dictionary)

reference book

A book that provides facts, definitions, data, or summary of a topic. (examples: indexes, dictionaries, encyclopedias, almanacs, bibliographies, concordances, handbooks, manuals, etc.)

brush fire

A fire that occurs primarily in mid level vegetation A fire that burns primarily brush and material low to the ground

Play it close to the vest

Be very cautious or secretive

Mandela Effect

Collectively held memories that though false, are consistent, and have been posited as evidence that alternate realities may exist.

Arre

Giddyap! Hurry up!

How do I get higher tips?

Jack Schafer Ph.D. Let Their Words Do the Talking Six Tips to Get Higher Tips These techniques predispose customers to leave higher tips. Posted July 18, 2012 Reviewed by Jessica Schrader Share on FacebookShare Share on TwitterTweet Share via EmailEmail Tipping is more than acknowledging good service. It's about making a living. Service employees in the United States rely on tips to supplement their salaries. Customers tip the minimum because they feel obligated by social norms, but customers will tip more if they like the people who serve them. The key to receiving higher tips is to create an environment that predisposes customers to be more generous. The following six tips for higher tips psychologically predispose customers to leave higher tips. article continues after advertisement Tip 1: Wear Something in Your Hair (Women) Female servers who wear ornamentation in their hair such as flowers (real or fake), barrettes, or other similar objects receive higher tips from both male and female customers. One explanation for this finding is that more attractive waitresses receive higher tips than less attractive waitresses. Customers may perceive waitresses who wear ornaments in their hair as more attractive and thus, predispose customers to give higher tips. Interestingly, attractiveness had no effect on tip amounts for male servers from either male or female customers. Tip 2: Lightly Touch Customers (Women) Female servers who touch customers lightly on the shoulder, hand, or arm receive higher tips than customers who are not touched. Customers who were touched by female servers drank more alcohol than customers who were not touched, thus, giving customers more opportunities to tip the server. Touch when interpreted properly produces a feeling of friendliness and, therefore, predisposes customers to tip more generously. Touching can have a negative effect if it is perceived as flirtatious or dominating and could reduce the amount of tips rather than increase them. Female servers should be careful when touching male customers who are in the company of romantically involved females because any touching could produce jealousy. Since the effect of touch is the same for female customers as it is for male customers, touching the female customers will have the same effect. Tip 3: Introduce Yourself by Name (Men and Women) When servers introduce themselves by name, they receive higher tips. Personal introductions make the servers look friendlier. Customers tip servers who appear friendly and likable. Servers who introduced themselves by name received an average tip of $2 more than servers who did not introduce themselves by name. Mundanely providing customers your name is not sufficient. Your introduction should be accompanied by a wide smile. Servers who smile receive larger tips. A personal introduction accompanied by a smile make servers appear friendlier and more personable and thus, predispose customers to leave higher tips. Tip 4: Create Reciprocity (Men and Women) When people receive something from somebody, they are predisposed to reciprocate in like manner. Customers who receive something, even small items, will typically reciprocate by leaving a larger tip. Servers can induce reciprocity through several techniques. Servers who write "thank you" on the back of the check receive higher tips. Customers perceive this small gesture as both friendly and as having rendered a service and, in an effort to reciprocate, tend to leave bigger tips. Reciprocity can be induced in a more subtle fashion. Just prior to the time when the customers' orders are complete, the waitress tells one of the customers that the manner in which the food was prepared was not up to the server's standards and he or she sent the meal back to the chef to have it done correctly. The server then apologizes for the delay and after a few minutes, serves the food as it was originally prepared. The customers perceive the server as having done them a favor, although no favor was actually performed, thus predisposing the customers to reciprocate by means of a higher gratuity. Caution should be used when using this technique. Servers should select imperfections that do not question the taste or quality of the food nor will it discredit the restaurant. Reciprocity can also be induced by bringing mints along with the check. article continues after advertisement Tip 5: Repeat the Customer's Order (Men and Women) People like people who are like them. When servers repeat orders, customers subconsciously feel that the server is more like them than not. People who are in good rapport mirror each other's gestures and speech. By repeating the customers' orders, they experience sameness with their servers, like them more, and tend to leave bigger tips. Tip 6: Provide Good Service (Men and Women) At the heart of a good tip is good service. Greet customers with a warm, friendly smile, introduce yourself by name, repeat the customers' order, refill drink glasses without being asked, and periodically check in on the customers to see if they need anything. Each customer is different and servers should learn to speed read them. Some customers want to be pampered, some customers require minimal service, and some customers just want to be left alone to enjoy their meal. The quicker servers learn to read their customers, the higher their tips will be. Now, let's tackle the 90-pound gorilla in the room. Yes, research shows that more attractive waitresses get higher tips than less attractive waitresses, regardless of the level of service. Waitresses with larger breasts get higher tips. Waitresses with blond hair get higher tips. Tips increase as a waitress' body size decreases. Waitresses who wear makeup receive higher tips from male customers but not from female customers. That is just the way it is. Enough said. article continues after advertisement Research shows that servers can increase their tips if they employ a few simple techniques. These techniques have no downside. If they are ineffective, customers will not recognize that the techniques were used on them. The upside is increased revenue. The golden rule for servers to get higher tips is, "Make the customers feel good about themselves and they will like you. The more customers like their servers, the higher the tips they are likely to leave." References Jacob, C., Gueguen, N. & Delfosse, C. (2012). She wore something in her hair: The effect of ornamentation on tipping. Journal of Hospitality & Marketing, 21:4, 414-120. Lynn, M. & Simons, T. (2000). Predictors of male and female servers' average tip earnings. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 30, 241-252. Stephen, R & Zweigenhaft, R. (1985) The effect on tipping of a waitress touching male and female customers. The Journal of Social Psychology, 126: 1, 141-142. Crusco, A. H., & Wetzel, C. G. (1984). The Midas touch: The effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 10, 512-517. Kaufman, D. Mahoney, J. M. (1999). The effect of waitresses' touch on alcohol consumption in dyads. The Journal of Social Psychology, 139: 3, 261-267. Hutchinson, K. L. & Davidson, C. A. (1990). Body accessibility revisited. Journal of Social behavior and Personality, 5, 341-352. Garrity, K. & Degelman, D. (1990). Effect of server introduction on restaurant tipping. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 20, 168-172. Tidd, K. L. & Lockard, J. S. (1978). Monetary significance of the affiliative smile: A case for reciprocal altruism. Bulletin of the Psychonomic Society, 11: 6, 344-346. Rind, B. & Bordia, P. (1995). Effect of server's 'Thank You' and personalization of restaurant tipping. Journal of Applied Social Psychology 25: 9 745-757. Van Baaren, R. B., Holland, R. W., Steen, B, & Van Knipperberg, A. (2003). Mimicry for money: Behavioral consequences of imitation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 39, 393-398. Lynn, M. (2009). Determinants and consequences of female attractiveness and sexiness: Realistic tests with restaurant waitresses. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 38, 737-74. Jacob, C., Guiguen, N., Boublry, G., & Ardicioni, R. (2009). Waitresses' facial cosmetics and tipping: A field experiment. International Journal of Hospitality Management, 29, 188-190. ​​​​​​​ references Share on FacebookShare Share on TwitterTweet Share via EmailEmail advertisement About the Author John R. "Jack" Schafer, Ph.D., is a behavioral analyst for the FBI, and is the author of The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over. (Psychology Today)

Is there such a thing as a photographic memory? And if so, can it be learned?

MIND & BRAIN Is there such a thing as a photographic memory? And if so, can it be learned? March 12, 2007 ADVERTISEMENT Alan Searleman, a professor of psychology at St. Lawrence University and co-author of the college textbook Memory from a Broader Perspective, explains. In the scientific literature, the term eidetic imagery comes closest to what is popularly called photographic memory. The most common way to identify eidetikers (as people with eidetic imagery are often called) is by the Picture Elicitation Method. In it, an unfamiliar picture is placed on an easel and a person carefully scans the entire scene. After 30 seconds have elapsed, the picture is removed from view, and the person is asked to continue to look at the easel and to report anything that they can observe. People possessing eidetic imagery will confidently claim to still "see" the picture. In addition, they can scan it and examine different parts of it just as if the picture were still physically present. Consequently, one of the hallmarks of eidetic imagery is that eidetikers use the present tense when answering questions about the missing picture, and they can report in extraordinary detail what it contained. Eidetic images differ from other forms of visual imagery in several important ways. First, an eidetic image is not simply a long afterimage, since afterimages move around when you move your eyes and are usually a different color than the original image. (For example, a flash camera can produce afterimages: the flash is bright white, but the afterimage is a black dot, and the dot moves around every time you move your eyes.) In contrast, a true eidetic image doesnt move as you move your eyes, and it is in the same color as the original picture. Second, a common visual image that we can all create from memory (such as an image of a bedroom) does not have the characteristics of most eidetic images, which almost always fade away involuntarily and part by part. Also, it is not possible to control which parts of an eidetic image fade and which remain visible. Unlike common visual images created from memory, most eidetic images last between about half a minute to several minutes only, and it is possible to voluntarily destroy an eidetic image forever by the simple act of blinking intentionally. Furthermore, once gone from view, rarely can an eidetic image ever be retrieved. You might expect that an individual who claims to still see a picture after it has been removed would be able to have a perfect memory of the original picture. After all, a perfect memory is what is usually implied by the commonly used phrase "photographic memory." As it turns out, however, the accuracy of many eidetic images is far from perfect. In fact, besides often being sketchy on some details, it is not unusual for eidetikers to alter visual details and even to invent some that were never in the original. This suggests that eidetic images are certainly not photographic in nature but instead are reconstructed from memory and can be influenced like other memories (both visual and nonvisual) by cognitive biases and expectations. ADVERTISEMENT The vast majority of the people who have been identified as possessing eidetic imagery are children. The prevalence estimates of the ability among preadolescents range from about 2 percent to 10 percent. And it is an equal-opportunity phenomenon--theres no gender difference in who is likely to be an eidetiker. Although it is certainly controversial, some researchers also believe that eidetic imagery occurs more frequently in certain populations of the mentally retarded (specifically, in individuals whose retardation most likely stems from biological, rather than environmental, causes) and also among geriatric populations. With a few notable exceptions, however, most research has shown that virtually no adults seem to possess the ability to form eidetic images. Why should this be so? No one really knows, although part of the answer may be related to a rather obscure fact about the development of such images. Research has shown that if a person verbalizes during the time he or she is scanning the original picture, this interferes with eidetic image formation. This utterance could be something as seemingly innocuous as covertly saying "Saint Bernard" upon seeing a large dog during the initial scanning process. So perhaps part of the reason why it is so rare to find older eidetikers is that adults are much more likely than children to try to both verbally and visually encode the picture into memory. If this is true, then it means that adults are more likely to disrupt the formation of eidetic images and are thus much less likely to be identified as having eidetic imagery, even if they really do possess the ability. Can you acquire eidetic imagery through learning? Personally, I doubt it. To my knowledge, however, there have been no attempts to try to teach the ability to anyone. Although it is clear that eidetic imagery exists, psychologists still do not know why it occurs, what brain mechanisms may be responsible, or why it is found in such a small proportion of the population. It certainly is a fascinating phenomenon. (Scientific American)

What should I eat before a work out?

Pre-Workout Nutrition: What to Eat Before a Workout By Arlene Semeco, MS, RD — Medically reviewed by Amy Richter, RD, Nutrition — Updated on November 20, 2022 What to eat Timing Examples Supplements Hydration Bottom line Pairing carbs with protein before workouts can help improve performance and recovery. Staying hydrated is also important and certain supplements like creatine or caffeine might be beneficial. Athletes and fitness enthusiasts are always looking for ways to improve their performance and achieve their goals. Good nutrition can help your body perform better and recover faster after each workout. Optimal nutrient intake prior to exercise will not only help you maximize your performance but also minimize muscle damage (1Trusted Source). Here is everything you need to know about pre-workout nutrition. pre-workout fruit smoothie Share on Pinterest Image credit: 365mm/Stocksy/Adobe Stock Knowing what to eat is important Fueling your body with the right nutrients prior to exercise will give you the energy and strength you need to perform better. Each macronutrient has a specific role before a workout. However, the ratio in which you need to consume them varies by the individual and type of exercise (1Trusted Source). Below is a brief look at the role of each macronutrient. Carbs Your muscles use the glucose from carbs for fuel. Glycogen is the way the body processes and stores glucose, mainly in the liver and muscles. For short and high intensity exercise, your glycogen stores are your muscles' main source of energy (1Trusted Source). But for longer exercises, the degree to which carbs are used depends on several factors. These include the intensity, type of training, and your overall diet (1Trusted Source). Your muscles' glycogen stores are limited. As these stores become depleted, your output and intensity diminish (1Trusted Source). Studies have consistently shown that carbs can increase glycogen stores and utilization while boosting carb oxidation during exercise (2Trusted Source). Carb loading, which involves consuming a high carb diet for 1-7 days, is a well-known method to maximize glycogen stores (3Trusted Source, 4Trusted Source). Protein Many studies have documented the potential of pre-workout protein consumption to improve athletic performance. Eating protein (alone or with carbs) prior to exercise has been shown to increase muscle protein synthesis (5Trusted Source). One small study found that consuming 25 grams (g) of whey protein before exercise enhanced whole body anabolism, or muscle growth, compared to a placebo (6Trusted Source). Other benefits of eating protein before exercise include (6Trusted Source, 7Trusted Source, 8Trusted Source, 9Trusted Source): increased muscle mass improved muscle recovery increased strength and lean body mass enhanced muscle performance Fat While glycogen is used for short and high intensity bouts of exercise, fat is the source of fuel for longer and moderate-to-low intensity exercise (10Trusted Source). Some studies have investigated the effects of fat intake on athletic performance. However, these studies looked at high fat diets over a long period, rather than prior to exercise (11Trusted Source). For example, one review found that following a low carb, high fat diet could improve body composition and increase maximal oxygen uptake when paired with high intensity interval training (HIIT) (12Trusted Source). SUMMARY Carbs help maximize glycogen stores for high intensity exercise, while fat helps fuel your body for longer, less intense workouts. Meanwhile, protein improves muscle protein synthesis and aids recovery. The timing of your pre-workout meal is key The timing of your meal is also an important aspect of pre-exercise nutrition. To maximize the results of your training, try to eat a complete meal containing carbs, protein, and fat 2-3 hours before you exercise. This is especially important for longer workouts, as evidence suggests that pre-exercise meals don't significantly impact performance during workouts with a duration of less than 1 hour (1Trusted Source, 13Trusted Source, 14Trusted Source). However, in some cases, you may not be able to get in a full meal 2-3 hours before working out. In that case, then you can still eat a decent pre-workout meal. However, keep in mind that the sooner you eat before your workout, the smaller and simpler the meal should be. If you eat 45-60 minutes prior to your workout, choose foods that are simple to digest and contain mainly carbs and some protein. This will help prevent any stomach discomfort during exercise. SUMMARY It's recommended to consume a full meal 2-3 hours before your workout. For meals eaten closer to your workout, choose simpler carbs and some protein. Some examples of pre-workout meals Which foods and how much to eat depends on the type, duration, and intensity of your workout. A good rule of thumb is to eat a mixture of carbs and protein prior to exercise (1Trusted Source). Here are some examples of balanced pre-workout meals: If your workout starts within 2-3 hours or more sandwich on whole-grain bread, lean protein, and a side salad egg omelet and whole-grain toast topped with avocado spread and a cup of fruit lean protein, brown rice, and roasted vegetables If your workout starts within 2 hours protein smoothie made with milk, protein powder, banana, and mixed berries whole-grain cereal and milk a cup of oatmeal topped with banana and sliced almonds natural almond butter and fruit preserve sandwich on whole-grain bread If your workout starts within an hour or less Greek yogurt and fruit nutrition bar with protein a piece of fruit, such as a banana, orange, or apple Keep in mind that you don't need to eat many pre-workout meals at different times and can just choose one of these. For best results, experiment with different timings and nutrient compositions. SUMMARY A combination of carbs and protein is recommended for pre-workout meals. Which foods and how much you should eat can vary based on the type, duration, and intensity of your workout. Supplements can also be useful before exercise Supplement use is common in sports. These products may enhance performance, improve strength, increase lean body mass, and reduce fatigue. Below are some of the best pre-workout supplements. Creatine Creatine is probably the most commonly used sports supplement. It has been shown to increase muscle mass, muscle fiber size, muscle strength, and power, all while delaying fatigue (15Trusted Source, 16Trusted Source). Even though it's beneficial to take creatine before a workout, it seems to be even more effective when taken after a workout (17Trusted Source). Taking 3-5 g of creatine monohydrate per day is effective (15Trusted Source). Caffeine Among many other benefits, caffeine has been shown to improve performance, increase strength and power, help reduce feelings of fatigue, and stimulate fat burning (18Trusted Source, 19Trusted Source). Caffeine can be consumed in coffee, tea, and energy drinks, but it can also be found in pre-workout supplements and pills. It doesn't really matter how you consume it, as its effects on performance are usually the same. Caffeine's peak effects are seen 90 minutes after consumption. However, it has been shown to be effective even when ingested 15-60 minutes prior to exercise (19Trusted Source). Branched-chain amino acids (BCAAs) BCAAs refer to the essential amino acids valine, leucine, and isoleucine. Studies have shown that taking BCAAs before workouts helps decrease muscle damage and increase muscle protein synthesis (20Trusted Source, 21Trusted Source). Most benefits of BCAAs have been observed in doses of at least 91 milligrams (mg) per pound (lb.) of body weight, or 200 mg per kilogram (kg) (22Trusted Source). For a person that weighs 165 lbs. (75 kg), this means that you would need to consume around 15 g of BCAAs per day. Beta-alanine Beta-alanine is an amino acid that increases your muscle stores of carnosine. It has been shown to be most effective for short and high intensity exercises. It does this by increasing exercise capacity and muscle endurance while reducing fatigue (23Trusted Source, 24Trusted Source). The recommended daily dose is 4-6 g, which should be taken for at least 2-4 weeks (23Trusted Source). Multi-ingredient pre-workout supplements Some people prefer products that contain a blend of the supplements mentioned above. The combination of these ingredients may have synergistic effects and improve performance significantly (25Trusted Source). Caffeine, creatine, beta-alanine, branched-chain amino acids, arginine, and B vitamins are among the most commonly used ingredients in these products (25Trusted Source, 26Trusted Source). These pre-workout supplements have been shown to increase work output, strength, endurance, anaerobic power, reaction time, focus, and alertness (25Trusted Source, 26Trusted Source). The particular dose depends on the product, but it's generally recommended to take them about 30-45 minutes before exercise. SUMMARY Creatine, caffeine, BCAAs, and beta-alanine are often recommended before a workout. Multi-ingredient pre-workout supplements combine many different ingredients for optimal benefits. Hydration is also crucial Your body needs water to function. Good hydration has been shown to sustain and even enhance performance, while dehydration has been linked to significant decreases in performance (27Trusted Source, 28Trusted Source). It's recommended to consume both water and sodium before exercise. This will improve fluid balance (29Trusted Source, 30Trusted Source). The American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) recommends drinking beverages slowly at least 4 hours before exercise. If you don't produce urine or your urine is dark or concentrated, you should drink slightly more about 2 hours before exercise (31). Additionally, they recommend consuming a beverage or snack that contains sodium to help retain fluids (31). SUMMARY Water is important for performance. It's recommended to drink water and sodium-containing beverages before exercise to promote fluid balance and prevent excessive fluid loss. Putting it all together To maximize your performance and recovery, it's important to fuel your body with the right nutrients before a workout. Carbs help maximize your body's ability to use glycogen to fuel short and high intensity exercises, while fat helps fuel your body for longer exercise sessions. Eating protein helps improve muscle protein synthesis, prevent muscle damage, and promote recovery. Good hydration is also linked to enhanced performance. Pre-workout meals can be eaten 3 hours to 30 minutes before a workout. However, choose foods that are easy to digest, especially if your workout starts in 1 hour or less. This will help you avoid stomach discomfort. Additionally, many different supplements can aid performance and promote recovery. At the end of the day, simple pre-workout nutrition practices can go a long way in helping you perform better and recover faster. Post-Workout Nutrition: What to Eat After a Workout By Arlene Semeco, MS, RD and Celia Shatzman — Medically reviewed by Jared Meacham, Ph.D., RD, PMP, MBA, CSCS — Updated on November 9, 2022 0 of 15 seconds Your video will continue in 10 seconds When planning a workout, there's a lot that goes into it to help you reach your goals. As part of that effort, there's a good chance you put a lot of thought into your pre-workout meal. But are you giving your post-workout meal the same attention? If not, it's a good idea to do so. Consuming the right nutrients after exercise is just as important as eating before. To help you optimize your nutrition after workouts, here is a detailed guide. Eating after a workout is important To understand how the right foods can help you after exercise, it's important to learn how physical activity affects your body. When you're working out, your muscles use up their glycogen — the body's preferred fuel source, especially during high intensity workouts. This results in your muscles being partially depleted of glycogen. Some of the proteins in your muscles can also be broken down and damaged (1, 2Trusted Source, 3Trusted Source). toast with guacamole, asparagus, tomato slices, and a soft-boiled egg Share on Pinterest Claudia Totir/Getty Images After your workout, your body rebuilds glycogen stores and regrows those muscle proteins. Eating the right nutrients soon after you exercise can help your body get this done faster. It's especially important to eat carbs and protein after your workout. Doing this helps your body: decrease muscle protein breakdown increase muscle protein synthesis (growth) restore glycogen stores enhance recovery SUMMARY Getting in the right nutrients after exercise can help you rebuild your muscle proteins and glycogen stores. It also helps stimulate new muscle growth. Protein, carbs, and fat Each macronutrient — protein, carbs, and fat — is involved in your body's post-workout recovery process. That's why it's important to have the right mix. The timing of your meals is also important. Sports nutrition researchers have been studying nutrient timing for more than 40 years. These days, experts rely on a mix of older and newer studies to make recommendations (1). Protein helps repair and build muscle Exercise triggers the breakdown of muscle protein. The rate at which this happens depends on the exercise and your level of training, but even well-trained athletes experience muscle-protein breakdown (1, 2Trusted Source, 3Trusted Source, 4Trusted Source, 5Trusted Source, 6Trusted Source). Consuming an adequate amount of protein throughout the day gives your body the amino acids it needs to repair and rebuild these proteins. It also gives you the building blocks required to build new muscle tissue (1, 7Trusted Source, 8Trusted Source, 9Trusted Source, 10Trusted Source). It's recommended to split up your protein intake across the entire day, at 3-hour intervals. So you'll want to eat protein as part of small meals spaced throughout the day. Depending on your body weight, 20-40 grams of protein every 3 to 4 hours is recommended (1). Studies have shown that ingesting 20-40 grams of protein seems to maximize the body's ability to recover after exercise (9Trusted Source, 11Trusted Source). In addition, eating protein before exercise may decrease the amount you need to eat after without affecting recovery (1). One study found that eating protein pre-workout and post-workout has a similar effect on muscle strength, hypertrophy, and body composition changes (12Trusted Source). But if you're specifically aiming to build muscle, eating high quality protein within the first 2 hours after a workout may stimulate your body to create the building blocks for new muscle tissue (1). Carbs help with recovery Your body's glycogen stores are used as fuel during exercise, and consuming carbs after your workout helps replenish them. The rate at which your glycogen stores are used depends on the activity. For example, endurance sports cause your body to use more glycogen than resistance training. For this reason, if you participate in endurance sports (running, swimming, etc.), you might need to consume more carbs than someone engaging in weightlifting. Eating a high carb diet of 3.6-5.5 grams of carbs per pound (8-12 grams per kilogram [kg]) of body weight each day can help you maximize your glycogen stores (1). Furthermore, insulin secretion, which promotes glycogen synthesis, is better stimulated when carbs and protein are consumed at the same time (10Trusted Source, 11Trusted Source, 12Trusted Source, 13Trusted Source). Therefore, consuming carbs and protein after exercise can maximize protein and glycogen synthesis (13Trusted Source, 14Trusted Source). Early studies found benefits from consuming the two in a ratio of 3 to 1 (carbs to protein). For example, that's 40 grams of protein and 120 grams of carbs (15Trusted Source, 16Trusted Source). When rapid recovery is necessary (under 4 hours), current recommendations suggest a similar ratio. Specifically, you can help restore glycogen faster by consuming 0.4 grams of carbs per pound of body weight (0.8 grams of carbs per kg) with 0.1-0.2 grams of protein per pound of body weight (0.2-0.4 grams of protein per kg) during each hour of recovery (1). Recommendations for carb intake are targeted to the needs of endurance athletes. If you're focused on resistance training, you may need less. What's more, most studies on this topic involve only male athletes, so it's unclear whether female athletes may have different intake needs. Fat may provide some benefits There is not enough evidence to say whether you should limit fat intake after a workout (1). Many people think that eating fat after a workout slows digestion and inhibits the absorption of nutrients. While fat might slow down the absorption of your post-workout meal, it may not reduce its benefits. For example, a study showed that whole milk was more effective at promoting muscle growth after a workout than skim milk (17Trusted Source). Moreover, another study showed that muscle glycogen synthesis was not affected even when ingesting a high fat meal (45% energy from fat) after working out (18Trusted Source). Having some fat in your post-workout meal may not affect your recovery. But more studies are needed on this topic. SUMMARY A post-workout meal with protein and carbs will enhance glycogen storage and muscle protein synthesis. Consuming a ratio of 3 to 1 (carbs to protein) is a practical way to achieve this. The timing of your post-workout meal matters Your body's ability to rebuild glycogen and protein is enhanced after you exercise (19Trusted Source). For this reason, it's recommended that you consume a combination of carbs and protein as soon as possible after exercising. In the past, experts recommended eating your post-workout meal within 45 minutes, as a delay of carb consumption by as little as 2 hours after a workout may lead to as much as 50% lower rates of glycogen synthesis (19Trusted Source, 20Trusted Source). However, more recent research has found that the post-exercise window to maximize the muscular response to eating protein is wider than initially thought, up to as many as several hours (11Trusted Source). Also, if you consumed a meal rich in whole carbs and protein perhaps an hour before exercising, it's likely that the benefits from that meal still apply after training (21Trusted Source, 22Trusted Source, 23Trusted Source). Also, recovery is not just about what you consume directly after working out. When you exercise consistently, the process is ongoing. It is best to continue to eat small, well-balanced meals of carbs and protein every 3-4 hours (24Trusted Source). SUMMARY Eat your post-workout meal soon after exercising, ideally within a few hours. However, you can extend this period a little longer, depending on the timing of your pre-workout meal. Foods to eat after you work out The primary goal of your post-workout meal is to supply your body with the right nutrients for adequate recovery and maximize your workout's benefits. Choosing easily digested foods will promote faster nutrient absorption. The following lists contain examples of simple and easily digested foods: Carbs sweet potatoes chocolate milk quinoa and other grains fruits (such as pineapple, berries, banana, kiwi) rice cakes rice oatmeal potatoes pasta whole grain bread edamame Protein animal- or plant-based protein powder eggs Greek yogurt cottage cheese salmon chicken protein bar tuna Fats avocado nuts nut butters seeds trail mix (dried fruits and nuts) Sample post-workout meals and snacks Combinations of the foods above can create great meals that give you all the nutrients you need after exercise. Here are a few examples of quick and easy meals to eat after your workout: grilled chicken with roasted vegetables and rice egg omelet with avocado spread on whole-grain toast salmon with sweet potato tuna salad sandwich on whole grain bread tuna and crackers oatmeal, whey protein, banana, and almonds cottage cheese and fruits pita and hummus rice crackers and peanut butter whole-grain toast and almond butter cereal with dairy or soy milk Greek yogurt, berries, and granola protein shake and banana quinoa bowl with sweet potatoes, berries, and pecans whole grain crackers with string cheese and fruit Make sure to drink plenty of water It is important to drink plenty of water before and after your workout. Being properly hydrated ensures the optimal internal environment for your body to maximize results. During exercise, you lose water and electrolytes through sweat. Replenishing these after a workout can help with recovery and performance (24Trusted Source). It's especially important to replenish fluids if your next exercise session is within 12 hours. Depending on the intensity of your workout, water or an electrolyte drink are recommended to replenish fluid losses. SUMMARY It is important to get water and electrolytes after exercise to replace what was lost during your workout. The bottom line Consuming a proper amount of carbs and protein after exercise is essential. It stimulates muscle protein synthesis, improves recovery, and enhances performance during your next workout. It is important not to go much longer than a few hours before refueling with a meal or snack. Finally, replenishing lost water and electrolytes can complete the picture and help you maximize the benefits of your workout. (Healthline)

Do pretty waitresses get bigger tips?

Pretty waitresses earn bigger tips — and they have female customers to thank Chris Weller Sep 11, 2015, 1:06 PM Download the app hooters waitresses Gil Cohen Magen/Reuters It's not just those three margaritas compelling you to tip more. It's the person who's bringing you them. High-performance computing can turn everyday professionals into superheroes. Here's how it can help in healthcare, finance, and the environment. SPONSORED CONTENT by Microsoft Azure High-performance computing can turn everyday professionals into superheroes. Here's how it can help in healthcare, finance, and the environment. A new study published in the Journal of Economic Psychology found waitresses whose customers deemed them as attractive tended to tip more. A lot more. Over the course of a year, servers who diners considered more "strikingly beautiful" could expect to earn roughly $1,261 more in tips than a homelier server. The weirdest part? Those tips were coming from women. 7 steps to launch your small business and begin a career as your own boss SPONSORED CONTENT by State Farm 7 steps to launch your small business and begin a career as your own boss Beauty might be in the eye of the beholder, but biology certainly clouds the lens. Attractiveness has been a rich field of study for decades and a subject of philosophical inquiry for millenia. We know, for instance, that men tend to prefer high cheekbones to low ones and full lips to thin ones. Women like men to have strong jaws and broad chins. What's more, winners of the genetic lottery go on to enjoy numerous benefits as they move through life. Beautiful people are more persuasive, have more sexual and romantic partners, seem more trustworthy, and make more money — approximately 12% more, in fact. Living in a predominantly heterosexual world, we might assume pretty women get ahead because men believe their arguments more, pursue them romantically, trust them, and pay them more. Here's how high-performance computing can save the day SPONSORED CONTENT by Microsoft Azure Here's how high-performance computing can save the day At least in restaurants, men might not be so in control. Matt Parrett, an economist at the Food and Drug Administration, carried out the latest study. After he and an assistant collected 501 surveys from diners that asked how big they tipped and how attractive they thought the server was, Parrett analyzed the data for patterns. According to him, the result that female servers earn bigger tips from other women might be explained, at least partly, by the fact female customers discriminate more strongly than men do in terms of attractiveness. "As to why beauty pays," he writes, "I considered three explanations - stereotypes, increased confidence and better negotiation/oral skills, and taste-based discrimination." 7 steps to launch your small business and begin a career as your own boss SPONSORED CONTENT by State Farm 7 steps to launch your small business and begin a career as your own boss Those first two explanations fell off the table when Parrett conducted his analysis. People don't make a judgment on the server's productivity until after the meal, he explains, so stereotypes wouldn't factor in. Likewise, negotiation skills played a statistically insignificant role in the process. The only factor Parrett couldn't rule out was the idea that more beautiful female servers simply compelled female patrons to open their wallets. "I am unable to reject customer taste-based discrimination as an explanation of why beauty pays in this environment," he writes. According to some evolutionary psychologists, the modern-day benefits of being beautiful — an extra three bucks on an order of chicken wings and beer — actually stem from older humans' desire to seek out people without harmful genetic mutations. Average, proportional faces gave humans this impression over highly unique, asymmetrical ones. 5 things to keep in mind about running a small business SPONSORED CONTENT by State Farm 5 things to keep in mind about running a small business If someone's face demands less work of our brain's visual system, we tend to favor it, which means we'd rather send our genes into the future with that person than someone else. As to why females, more than males, tend to reward attractive female servers, Parrett posits that empathy could be at play. "Maybe women are rewarding other women for the effort they make in trying to look good," he writes, "something which women might know and care more about." In any cases, bars should take notice: If you don't already have a ladies' night, start one. (Business Insider)

Logic or emotion: Which is more valuable?

SKIP TO CONTENT The Harvard Gazette Search for: Arts & Humanities Business & Economy Campus & Community Commencement 2022 The Coronavirus Update Events Health & Medicine National & World Affairs News & Announcements Photography The Quest for Racial Justice Science & Technology The Solutions Series News + About Accessibility Athletics News and Scores For Media & Journalists Privacy Policy Trademark The Daily Gazette Sign up for daily emails to get the latest Harvard news. Harvard University The Harvard Gazette SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY Logic or emotion: Which is more valuable? Leonard Mlodinow Leonard Mlodinow (bottom), author of "Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking," explains the link between logic and emotion. "Even if you think you're applying cold reason, you're not," he tells moderator Nick Owchar (top). Jon Chase/Harvard Staff Photographer Neither, according to Leonard Mlodinow's new book, which argues thinking and feeling are inextricably linked Caitlin McDermott-Murphy Harvard Correspondent January 31, 2022 Email Facebook Twitter LinkedIn The argument about whether head or heart is more valuable has raged forever. Would you rather possess the clear rationality of the Greek god Apollo or the wild emotion of Dionysus? The cold logic of Mr. Spock from "Star Trek" or the messy humanity of Dr. McCoy? The answer, according to Leonard Mlodinow, is moot. Why? He argues in his new book, "Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking," that the two constitute a kind of false dichotomy because they're actually inseparable. "Even if you think you're applying cold reason, you're not," said Mlodinow, who spoke about his book last week in a virtual Harvard Science Book Talk presented by the University's Division of Science, Cabot Science Library, and Harvard Book Store. A theoretical physicist by training, Mlodinow spent years on the faculty at the California Institute of Technology but left to write 11 science books, including five best-sellers, plus several episodes of TV shows such as "Star Trek: The Next Generation," "MacGyver," and "Night Court," among others. "Emotional" digs into recent discoveries in neuroscience and psychology — fields entirely different from his own — to explain how feelings, like rage, fear, disgust, and joy, are the unconscious rudders behind all human decision-making. "Emotions play a hidden role in our behavior," Mlodinow said. They help the brain choose what sensory information to pay attention to, how to process it, and what other data — such as memories or goals — to weave into decisions. For example, said Mlodinow, when you walk through an unfamiliar neighborhood, fear can amplify the sound of a twig breaking a block away, a sound you might otherwise ignore. Before jumping into the book's details, discussion moderator Nick Owchar, executive director of advancement communications at Claremont Graduate University and former deputy book editor of the Los Angeles Times, wanted to know: Why would a theoretical physicist even want to write a book about emotions? "As a physicist, I'm curious about the universe," Mlodinow said "How did we get here? How did it get here? Why is it the way it is? I have the same questions as a human: Why am I the way I am? How did we as a species get here?" We got here, Mlodinow continued, because of emotions. Thousands of years ago, when wild humans roamed the plains and savannas, they were far from the fastest or strongest animals. Alone, they couldn't survive, so they banded together. And emotions, like empathy, guilt, and shame, evolved to glue these packs together and encourage cooperation. But in today's society, emotions frequently don't lead to anything as productive as cooperation. Just as human eyes can experience optical illusions, Mlodinow said, emotions can malfunction, revving too high or lingering too long, or flaring up in inappropriate situations. To rein things in, Mlodinow recommends a few simple tactics: meditate; express emotions (suppression has been shown to lower life spans, he said); and change the story. For example, when a driver cuts you off, anger might tell you the person is a selfish jerk. But, if you shift the story, telling yourself the person could be dealing with an emergency, you can shift the emotion. "Put a different spin on it," Mlodinow said. Emotions can also be contagious, right? Owchar asked. Right, said Mlodinow. Think about yawns in a classroom or audience laughter in TV sitcoms (when these disappeared during the pandemic, he said he could no longer tell if the jokes were funny). But in the age of social media, where one person can interact with thousands of others expressing intense emotions all at once, this contagiousness can become overwhelming. "We're not necessarily armed and equipped for that," he said. "Emotional contagion on that scale can get out of hand. Hate and anger and sometimes fear can magnify and amplify in a way that isn't necessarily healthy for society." Three-quarters through the hour-long discussion, Owchar engaged Mlodinow in a game he called "Plead the Fifth," in which he asked the author to pick one of two options (or neither and choose not to incriminate himself). These included: computer or yellow paper and pencil ("Computer," Mlodinow said quickly. "I'm an incessant editor."); Captain Kirk or Captain Picard (he pleaded the Fifth); and Isaac Asimov or Carl Sagan (Asimov). To conclude the talk, Owchar asked Mlodinow about his work with fellow theoretical physicist and author Stephen Hawking, with whom he co-wrote two books, "A Briefer History of Time" and "The Grand Design." Their partnership led to a decades-long friendship, and when Hawking died in 2018, The New York Times asked Mlodinow to write a tribute. How did you write while coping with grief? Owchar wanted to know. "It was easy, in a way," Mlodinow said. "I just sat there and felt my emotions. I let it all pour in. It came from the heart. I think that's how you should write." Editor's Picks Woman cutting fruit HEALTH DASH diet's impact differs based on race and gender Study finds it reduces 10-year cardiovascular risk score by 14% among Black adults vs. 3% among non-Black adults CAMPUS Sarah Karmon named new HAA executive director She succeeds Philip Lovejoy, who has held post since 2014, becomes first woman to take top administrative role HEALTH 'What kind of husband could stand by idly for four years while his wife's breast cancer grew?' They were physicians, research stars at Dana-Farber, and all couples have secrets. Barrett Rollins wrestles with one Jane Weeks insisted they keep TRENDING Study aims to quell fears over falling human sperm count Three new University Professors 'What kind of husband could stand by idly for four years while his wife's breast cancer grew?' Good genes are nice, but joy is better DASH diet's impact differs based on race and gender Up Next SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY Back in days of great floods (Harvard Gazette)

What are some riddles?

Skip to main content Menu Reader's Digest Logo The Healthy Logo RD.COM Knowledge Brain Games 78 Riddles for Adults That Will Test Your Smarts Hedy PhillipsHedy Phillips Updated: Nov. 01, 2022 Facebook Flipboard Twitter Pinterest Email Riddles RD.COM, GETTY IMAGES You'll have to really stretch your brain to figure out some of these easy, funny, and hard riddles for grown-ups! If you're looking for some riddles for adults to keep in your back pocket as a way to strike up a conversation or pull out as a party trick, you're in luck. We have plenty of trick questions, easy riddles, hard riddles, viral riddles, "what am I?" riddles, and fun riddles for you right here. The trick will be memorizing a bunch of these so you have them handy (or you can bookmark this page for when you need it) when you want to put your friends and family to the test. 0 seconds of 54 seconds First things first: Read through this list of riddles to see if you can figure them out. Once you've got them all down, it's time to start sharing. See if your bestie really knows what gets wet while drying or how to solve these math riddles. Some of these are definitely stumpers! Scroll through to read them all and see how smart you really are. Get Reader's Digest's Read Up newsletter for more riddles, games, humor, cleaning, travel, and fun facts all week long. Elephant riddle RD.COM, GETTY IMAGES Funny riddles for adults 1. What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Answer: Time to fix the fence. 2. What gets wet while drying? Answer: A towel 3. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? Answer: A jeweler sells watches and a jailer watches cells. 4. What can go up a chimney down, but can't go down a chimney up? Answer: An umbrella 5. What can you hold in your right hand, but never in your left hand? Answer: Your left hand 6. What can you catch, but not throw? Answer: A cold 7. What kind of band never plays music? Answer: A rubber band 8. What has many teeth, but cannot bite? Answer: A comb 9. What has lots of eyes, but can't see? Answer: A potato 10. What has one eye, but can't see? Answer: A needle 11. What can travel all around the world without leaving its corner? Answer: A stamp RELATED: 42 Tricky "What Am I?" Riddles Breakfast riddle RD.COM, GETTY IMAGES 12. What two things can you never eat for breakfast? A: Lunch and dinner 13. What kind of room has no doors or windows? Answer: A mushroom 14. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Answer: Their middle names. 15. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest, it just wasn't discovered yet. 16. What is the end of everything? Answer: The letter "G" 17. What part of the chicken has the most feathers? Answer: The outside 18. What has a bottom at the top? Answer: Your legs 19. How far can you walk into the woods? Answer: Halfway — after that, you're walking out. 20. What is red and smells like blue paint? Answer: Red paint 21. When is a door no longer a door? Answer: When it's ajar. RELATED: 60 of the Best Riddles for Kids Corner riddle RD.COM, GETTY IMAGES Hard riddles for adults 22. Two in a corner, one in a room, zero in a house, but one in a shelter. What am I? Answer: The letter "R." 23. A plane crashed between the border of France and Belgium. Where were the survivors buried? Answer: They weren't. Survivors don't need to be buried. 24. Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it? Answer: Nothing 25. What runs, but never walks. Murmurs, but never talks. Has a bed, but never sleeps. And has a mouth, but never eats? Answer: A river 26. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I? Answer: A map 27. Spelled forwards I'm what you do every day, spelled backward I'm something you hate. What am I? Answer: Live 28. The person who makes it has no need of it; the person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it? Answer: A coffin 29. You walk into a room that contains a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. What would you light first? Answer: The match RELATED: 50 Love Riddles for Romantics Change riddle RD.COM, GETTY IMAGES 30. No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I? Answer: A calendar 31. I have branches, but no fruit, trunk, or leaves. What am I? Answer: Bank 32. What belongs to you, but everyone else uses it. Answer: Your name 33. If your uncle's sister is not your aunt, what relation is she to you? Answer: Your mother 34. What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it? Answer: A teapot 35. The 22nd and 24th presidents of the United States of America had the same parents but were not brothers. How can this be possible? Answer: They were the same man—Grover Cleveland 36. If two's company, and three's a crowd, what are four and five? Answer: Nine 37. Sara has four daughters, and each of her daughters has a brother. How many children does Sara have? Answer: Five—each daughter has the same brother. 38. Which is heavier: a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? Answer: They weigh the same 39. Take one out and scratch my head, I am now black but once was red. What am I? Answer: A match 40. Two fathers and two sons are in a car, yet there are only three people in the car. How? Answer: They are grandfather, father, and son RELATED: Christmas Riddles Flown riddle RD.COM, GETTY IMAGES 41. Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, When I have flown. What am I? Answer: Time 42. How much dirt is in a hole that's two feet by three feet? Answer: None, it's a hole. 43: What begins with an "e" and only contains one letter? Answer: An envelope 44. What do you throw out when you want to use it but take in when you don't want to use it? Answer: An anchor 45 You see me once in June, twice in November, and not at all in May. What am I? Answer: The letter "E." 46. What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly 47. A man goes out in heavy rain with nothing to protect him from it. His hair doesn't get wet. How does he do that? Answer: He's bald. 48. What word is pronounced the same if you take away four of its five letters? Answer: Queue 49. What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it? Answer: Silence 50. What can fill a room but takes up no space? Answer: Light 51. Forwards I am heavy, backward I am not. What am I? Answer: Ton RELATED: 48 Short Riddles That Will Stump You Heavy riddle RD.COM Easy riddles for adults 52. What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Answer: Short 53. What has to be broken before you can use it? Answer: An egg Can you solve this "if I had four eggs" riddle? It's a bit tricky... 54. What has a neck but has no head? Answer: Guitar 55. What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in 1,000 years? Answer: The letter "M." 56. What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on? Answer: A coat of paint. 57. How many bananas can you eat if your stomach is empty? Answer: Just one—after that, your stomach's not empty anymore. 58. Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? Answer: C 59. What has ten letters and starts with gas? Answer: Automobile 60. What goes up but never comes down? Answer: Your age RELATED: 37 of the Best Riddles for Teens (with Answers) 61. What tastes better than it smells? Answer: Your tongue 62. Jared's father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and...? Answer: Jared If you thought that one was tricky, try solving this riddle about someone's mother having four sons. Break riddle RD.COM, GETTY IMAGES 63. What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it? Answer: A promise 64. Which month has 28 days? Answer: All of them 65. What has legs, but does not walk? Answer: A chair 66. The more of this there is, the less you see. What is it? Answer: Darkness Speaking of darkness, take a stab at these dark riddles next. 67. What has many keys but can't open a single lock? Answer: A piano 68. What runs around the whole yard without moving? Answer: Fence 69. Where does today come before yesterday? Answer: In the dictionary 70. What goes up and down but doesn't move? Answer: A staircase 71. What is harder to catch the faster you run? Answer: Your breath 72. What flowers are kissable? Answer: Tulips 73. What has hands, but can't clap? Answer: A clock 74. What has words, but never speaks? Answer: A book 75. What has a head and a tail but no body? Answer: A coin 76. What building has the most stories? Answer: The library Weightless riddle RD.COM, GETTY IMAGES 77. I am weightless but put me in a bucket and I will make it lighter. What am I? Answer: A hole 78. What has many hearts but no other organs? Answer: A deck of cards RELATED: 50 Long Riddles to Give Your Brain a Workout Next, give your brain a workout by trying to solve these tricky animal riddles. Open books in repeated pattern on green background 45 Best Bible Riddles You'll Have Fun Solving Riddle on red background 50 Love Riddles for Romantics Mr. Smith riddle on green background with father and four daughter icons Mr. Smith Had 4 Daughters: Try to Solve the Viral Riddle Originally Published: June 04, 2021 Hedy Phillips Hedy Phillips Hedy is a lifestyle writer covering beauty, shopping, and pop culture. She devotes 99% of her time to snuggling with her cats and 100% of her money to following Harry Styles around on tour. She's always on the lookout for another slice of New York pizza and she's never met a Starbucks drink she doesn't like. Do you watch any of these free video channels on your smart TV (Samsung, LG) or other streaming app(s) (ex: Roku, Pluto)? The Pet Collective FailArmy People Are Awesome This Is Happening WeatherSpy I don't watch any of these Pick at least 1 choice 25,807 participants Privacy policy The Healthy Food Home Humor Knowledge Travel Videos Subscribe OUR BRANDS Taste of Home Family Handyman Birds & Blooms The Healthy LifeRich Publishing Advertise with Us About Us Contact Us Customer Service Terms of Use Privacy Policy Your CA Privacy Rights Do Not Sell My Personal Information - CA Residents Accessibility Statement About Ads Affiliate Program Cookie Settings © 2022 Trusted Media Brands, Inc. Sign Up for Our Newsletters SIGN UP Enjoy the BEST stories, advice & jokes! Subscribe to Reader's Digest (Readers Digiest)

What is stockhold syndrome?

Stockholm syndrome, psychological response wherein a captive begins to identify closely with his or her captors, as well as with their agenda and demands. The name of the syndrome is derived from a botched bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. In August 1973 four employees of Sveriges Kreditbank were held hostage in the bank's vault for six days. During the standoff, a seemingly incongruous bond developed between captive and captor. One hostage, during a telephone call with Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme, stated that she fully trusted her captors but feared that she would die in a police assault on the building. The most infamous example of Stockholm syndrome may be that involving kidnapped newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst. In 1974, some 10 weeks after being taken hostage by the Symbionese Liberation Army, Hearst helped her kidnappers rob a California bank. But it was during the hostage crisis in Iran (1979-81) that the Stockholm syndrome worked its way into the public imagination. The syndrome was also cited after the 1985 hijacking of TWA flight 847. Although passengers underwent a hostage ordeal that lasted more than two weeks, upon their release some were openly sympathetic to the demands of their kidnappers. Another example involved Westerners kidnapped by Islamist militants in Lebanon. Hostages Terry Anderson (held 1985-91), Terry Waite (1987-91), and Thomas Sutherland (1985-91) all claimed that they had been treated well by their captors, despite the fact that they had often been held in solitary confinement and chained up in small, unclean cells. Similar responses were exhibited by the hostages held at the Japanese embassy in Peru in 1996-97. Psychologists who have studied the syndrome believe that the bond is initially created when a captor threatens a captive's life, deliberates, and then chooses not to kill the captive. The captive's relief at the removal of the death threat is transposed into feelings of gratitude toward the captor for giving him or her life. As the Stockholm bank robbery incident proves, it takes only a few days for this bond to cement, proving that, early on, the victim's desire to survive trumps the urge to hate the person who created the situation. The survival instinct is at the heart of the Stockholm syndrome. Victims live in enforced dependence and interpret rare or small acts of kindness in the midst of horrible conditions as good treatment. They often become hypervigilant to the needs and demands of their captors, making psychological links between the captors' happiness and their own. Indeed, the syndrome is marked not only by a positive bond between captive and captor but also by a negative attitude on behalf of the captive toward authorities who threaten the captor-captive relationship. The negative attitude is especially powerful when the hostage is of no use to the captors except as leverage against a third party, as has often been the case with political hostages. By the 21st century, psychologists had expanded their understanding of the Stockholm syndrome from hostages to other groups, including victims of domestic violence, cult members, prisoners of war, procured prostitutes, and abused children. The American Psychiatric Association does not include Stockholm syndrome in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). (Encyclopedia Britannica)

Can logical reasoning help with managing emotions?

The Wise Mind: How logical reasoning can help manage emotions June 4, 2020 By Marie Miguel writer, research expert All human beings have feelings. However, there are instances in which emotions become so overwhelming it becomes difficult to function. One therapeutic technique that can help with this is DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. DBT provides people with new skills to manage complex or painful emotions. One critical component of DBT is the concept of the wise mind. Wise mind refers to the logical part of one's consciousness. Marsha Linehan, the founder of DBT says the following: "Wise mind is like a deep well in the ground. The water at the bottom of the well, the entire underground ocean is wise mind. But on the way down there are often trap doors that impede progress. Sometimes the trap doors are so cleverly built that you believe there is no water at the bottom of the well. The trap door may look like the bottom of the well. Perhaps it is locked and you need a key. Perhaps it is nailed shut, and you need a hammer, or it is glued shut, and you need a chisel." Wise mind is what we intuitively know to be the truth under the blanket of emotions. When you're emotionally charged in a situation, it's difficult to see what is real and true. You may be blinded by subjectivity. That's why it's crucial to look at the facts. Observe what's going on rather than how you feel about it. When you observe the facts, you can feel confident because there is tangible evidence. Emotions are abstract and fleeting, whereas the facts of a situation remain fixed. When you are in DBT treatment, you will explore different states of mind, and get to a place where you can balance emotion and logic. In DBT, there are three states of mind - reasonable mind, emotion mind, and wise mind. Reasonable Mind Reasonable mind is ruled by logic. When you are in this state, you're thinking logically and rationally. One focuses on facts as well as reasoning. In the state of reasonable mind, you aren't tapping into emotions or moral value. A person who is in reasonable mind can critically evaluate a given situation and look at things with a pragmatic lens. It's an excellent time to focus on plans for the future, saving money, excelling in your career, or anything that involves critical thinking. When your emotions are heightened, tapping into reasonable mind is exceptionally challenging. But it can be done. There are techniques you can use in DBT that help you switch from the emotion mind to reasonable mind. Emotion Mind Emotion Mind is when a person experiences heightened feelings. People in this state feel impulsive and can engage in self-destructive actions. They might abuse substances, engage in compulsive spending, or overindulge in food. Emotion mind can be a dangerous place if you don't keep an eye on your behavior. You are charged with feelings and are likely to act impulsively, which can hurt people you love. A person's mood can affect their reasoning ability and can impact critical thinking. Since emotion mind can have a severe impact on a person's mental state, it's imperative to understand it. When you learn how to regulate your emotions, your mental health will improve as well as your quality of life. Wise Mind Wise mind is the state where reasonable mind and emotion mind are integrated. In wise mind, reasonable mind and emotion overlap. You can balance your logical perceptions of a situation with the Mind and Emotion Mind existing together. When you do that, you can view matters more accurately, and your emotions don't rule you. Wise mind allows you to feel a sense of peace. Most people struggle to get to wise mind. However, those who are in therapy, particularly DBT treatment, can develop self-awareness around their emotions and rationality. How to develop practical wisdom using DBT There are parallels between the wise mind and practical wisdom, which is a crucial component of Aristotle's work. He believed that humans should develop practical decision-making skills, in order to succeed and flourish. One exercise in DBT requires focusing on breathing techniques where you shift the focus to the center of your body. When you're emotional, you don't have to respond right away. Here are some ways to begin practicing: Observe your thoughts in a non-judgmental way. You don't have to push them away or change them. Watch them float by like clouds in the sky. Describe your experience and thoughts without judging them. For example, "I am angry, and I feel my stomach tightening." Focus on the present. Bring yourself into this moment Feel your emotions. Experience your feelings, but don't try to control or change them. How does wise mind work? You may find in practicing breathwork and using wise mind that you have a sense of epiphany. You realize the inherent truth of a situation and know what's going on. You can observe your emotions from the outside. You can intellectualize your feelings rather than impulsively act, which can be helpful for making practical decisions. You can watch your feelings from the outside. Tapping into logic It can be hard to navigate the road to wise mind and practical decision-making. The synthesis of reasonable mind and emotion mind is possible, but it takes practice to get there. Getting to the rational or logical part of emotions is challenging. When you're in an emotional mindset, you can distort the facts. When you are using practical decision-making to shape your decisions, you can balance emotional concerns with logic. You can use intuition in the process. Some people look inward, follow their gut feeling, and realize what makes sense about the situation. What is dialectical thinking? Dialectical thinking helps you uncover the truth by exposing what is untrue or false. Opposites can hold. It's essential to understand that two opposites can exist. You can love someone, but recognize that their choices are hurting you. These two concepts can live in the same reality. Sometimes it's difficult to process the idea of dialectical thinking, because we tend to think in black-and-white, love or hate, closed or open, or angry or happy. DBT helps us to understand that two diverse concepts can co-exist. Consider the facts Think about what is objectively true. What do we know about a given situation? Examine if there is confirmation bias. Confirmation bias refers to the tendency to understand new content as confirmation of one's existing beliefs. A confirmation bias indicates that your emotions are blocking what is true. You interpret a situation where you benefit you or your beliefs. Here's a situation where wise mind and logic can help you. The concept of wise mind can help a person feel more confident. They can see outside of themselves and see things rationally. Rational thinking and emotions can work together Many of us judge our emotions when they don't need to be evaluated. Emotions aren't bad or good; they just are. It's essential in terms of wise mind to integrate your feelings into your life without trying to fix or alter them. You can still look at the facts and understand that wise mind is a tool that helps you look at matters without an emotional lens. You can feel your feelings, but you don't need to judge yourself for having them. Judging your thoughts leads to feelings of guilt and shame. People have all sorts of thoughts, and they didn't cause them to be there. You can't control what you think, but you can respond to those thoughts. The ideas will be there, but you don't have to feel guilty about having them. Therapy and wise mind You may be wondering how to get to the state of wise mind. One method of tapping into it is working with a mental health professional. Therapy is a beautiful place to figure out the benefits of wise mind. You can explore the concept of wise mind and practical wisdom, and learn to balance emotions and logical thinking. Sometimes people believe that you have to be one or the other - emotional or rational. One of the fundamental aspects of DBT is that it incorporates both ideas. If you are struggling with emotional regulation and having trouble incorporating logical thinking, you might consider trying dialectical behavior therapy. A licensed therapist is equipped to help you develop practical decision-making skills. Whether you work with a therapist online with a company like BetterHelp or see a provider in person, you can build your mental wellness. In DBT therapy, your counselor can support you in balancing logic and emotion towards better decision-making. Image from the DBT Center of Orange County About the author: Marie Miguel is a writer and research expert. Her work focuses on health-related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of the mental health resource BetterHelp. With a dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to target subjects related to wellbeing. BetterHelp is the world's largest e-counseling platform. They offer access to licensed, trained, experienced, and accredited psychologists (PhD / PsyD), marriage and family therapists (LMFT), clinical social workers (LCSW / LMSW), and board licensed professional counselors (LPC). Their goal is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient - so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. To find out more, visit BetterHelp. (U of C center for practical wisdom)

Gaslighting

The process by which one person destroys the self confidence, perception, and sense of reality of another person

keep it on the down low

To keep something very secret; not tell another person

Triple Crown of Thoroughbred Racing

Triple Crown American thoroughbred horse racing Actions By Marvin Drager Last Updated: May 12, 2022 Edit History Table of Contents Triple Crown, in American horse racing, championship attributed to a three-year-old Thoroughbred that in a single season wins the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes. It had long been considered one of the most coveted and celebrated achievements in all of sports, but with the sharp decline of horse racing's popularity by the beginning of the 21st century, the Triple Crown became less prestigious in the eyes of the general sporting public. However, it is still an elusive achievement: since 1875, the first year in which all three races were in existence simultaneously, only 13 horses have accomplished the feat. Efforts to cluster races along the lines of the British Triple Crown began after the American Civil War. In 1875 Meriwether Lewis Clark, Jr.—the founder of Churchill Downs, home of the Kentucky Derby—tried to promote a Triple Crown centred around his Derby. At the turn of the 20th century, race organizers in New York focused on three contests that took place in that state. These efforts failed owing to provincialism among the racing entities, with each one insisting that its own events were preeminent. In fact, it was a long time before the socialites of the Eastern states, who largely controlled the sport, would even allow their horses to run in the "West" at Churchill Downs. It was this stubborn attitude, along with a belief that the Derby was raced too early in the year—before young three-year-old horses had fully matured—that impelled owner Samuel Riddle to keep the great Man o' War out of the Kentucky Derby in 1920, thereby denying him a probable Triple Crown. The concept of an American Triple Crown was popularized in great part through the writings of Charles Hatton, a columnist for the Daily Racing Form. He frequently used the term triple crown in reference to the three races in the 1930s, and as the term caught on, more and more owners and trainers began to prepare specifically for these contests. By the 1940s, newspapers were routinely using the term. The Triple Crown title was formally proclaimed in December 1950 at the annual awards dinner of the Thoroughbred Racing Associations in New York and retroactively awarded to Sir Barton, the first horse to win all three races (1919). The title was then given to subsequent pre-1950 winners at following annual dinners of the organization. During the 18 years between Gallant Fox's capturing the Triple Crown in 1930 and Citation's win in 1948, there was an average of one Triple Crown winner every two and a half years. However, there followed a 25-year wait until Secretariat captured the honour in 1973. Consecutive Triple Crown victories by Seattle Slew in 1977 and Affirmed in 1978 excited racing fans, but another long dry spell set in afterward until American Pharoah won the Triple Crown in 2015. The wait for the next winner was short, as Justify accomplished the feat three years later. A list of U.S. Triple Crown champions is provided in the table. Triple Crown champions—U.S. year horse 1919 Sir Barton 1930 Gallant Fox 1935 Omaha 1937 War Admiral 1941 Whirlaway 1943 Count Fleet 1946 Assault 1948 Citation 1973 Secretariat 1977 Seattle Slew 1978 Affirmed 2015 American Pharoah 2018 Justify (Encyclopedia Britannica)

What are dabloons?

What Are 'Dabloons,' the Imaginary Currency of TikTok? In the latest viral TikTok trend, users participate in an imaginary economy centered on fake money and fueled by cat pictures. Give this article Read in app Credit...via TikTok By Anna Grace Lee and Callie Holtermann Nov. 24, 2022 It started with a picture of a cat's paw. It became a game of wins and losses, a warped mirror of capitalist reality and, importantly, a giant inside joke. In case you hadn't heard: There is a rapidly growing trend where people on TikTok are spending, collecting, gaining and losing a form of fictional money known as "dabloons" (not to be confused with the former Spanish gold coin). The hashtag #dabloons, marking dabloon-centered videos, has over 417 million views on the platform. By Thursday morning, the number had increased by over 150 million views in 24 hours, and continued to grow. The game goes like this: A user scrolls along on their For You page to see if they happen upon one of the multitude of "DabloonTok" videos. Many of these videos imagine the viewer as a weary traveler across the internet, the hero in an epic scrolling odyssey. They invite you in for a meal or a bit of cozy rest, and feature a cat that then charges you or generously gifts you dabloons. Alexis Bishop, an actor who lives in Orlando, Fla., keeps track of her 174 dabloons on a whiteboard in her office. "Basically, it's just an imaginary economy that runs off the honors system," Ms. Bishop, 26, said in a phone interview. How are cats involved? Cats — and specifically their paws or "toe beans" — are arguably the foundation of the dabloon "economy." On Tuesday, meme database Know Your Meme published a history of the dabloon, suggesting that it has roots in posts from a cat meme Instagram page in the spring of 2021. In one picture posted on the account, a single cat paw is outstretched almost like a human hand, separated into four distinct toes, with a caption that simply says: "4 dabloons." One dabloon per cat toe. One user on a Reddit post suggests that the naming convention comes from the shape of cat toes' similarity to coins, but another suggests the cat paw is meant to be understood merely as demonstrating the amount of money owed in a transaction, as if the cat is meant to be the salesman. (You be the judge.) The same Instagram account also posted a blurry image of a black cat, which looks to be in motion, with its paw splayed out like a four-pronged talon. This black cat reappears in many of the dabloon posts across different platforms, like a mascot for the game. The exact origin of the cat photos remains unclear, but they've become the furry canon at the heart of dabloon lore. What are the rules, and what does this all mean? It seems the only rule of the dabloon world is that everyone agrees to play along. In the span of days, the game has taken on layers, morphing into an intricate web that mimics real life economic consequences and capitalist practices, although the looseness of the dabloon economy's money supply would horrify non-feline central bankers. When people began to make videos offering viewers large sums of free dabloons, the community faced "inflation." Some people have been robbed by dabloon thieves and pirates. Other users have set up shop, selling wares such as stews, crystals and cottages, offering dabloon insurance or bank accounts and adopting user names like "Dabloon University." Several users announced their campaigns for "dabloon president," and at least one account indicated the community would hold an election. Although the dabloon has yet to buy anyone a real bowl of stew — which would, intriguingly, set a reference rate for the value of the fake currency versus a real one like the dollar — it has demonstrated TikTok users' serious commitment to the bit (and to having some fun online). It may have started as a niche and obscure trend, but it's moved somewhat into the mainstream. The singer and influencer Loren Gray, who has 54.5 million followers on TikTok and was once the most-followed person on the app, posted a TikTok video on Wednesday afternoon in which she appeared with a solemn face and said, "I don't know how many dabloons I have anymore. Every other TikTok I see, 'Here's a dabloon checkpoint, here's 100 dabloons. Oh no, the dabloon economy is crashing.'" She went on to say that offline, her friends didn't understand what she meant when she told them about the happenings on Dabloon TikTok. She captioned the video: "The dabloon IRS is at my door and no one understands." But even as the dabloon economy gets increasingly complex, Ms. Bishop offered a clue to its popularity among the TikTok crowd. She said its collaborative silliness is a relief compared to the high stakes of the real one. "People really like the idea of being able to influence this little micro economy," she said. "It feels like they're able to be a part of it in a way that's way less stressful than real money." A Closer Look at TikTok The popular video app is changing social media, one quick video at a time. If you've constantly heard TikTok mentioned by your friends (and children) but have been unsure how it works, this latecomer's guide is for you. The app is known for its viral dance challenges and catchy trends. But its algorithm has been blamed for amplifying misinformation and harmful content. TikTok has also built itself into an ads juggernaut, selling access to brands and developing products that make it easier to advertise on the platform. As many workers chafe against employer mandates, some content creators are using TikTok to share more positive images of office life A new vocabulary has emerged on TikTok as creators try to get around algorithms and strict content moderation. They call it algospeak. Need to find a restaurant or figure out how to do something? Young people are turning to TikTok, instead of Google, to search for answers. (New York Times)

what is the mandela effect?

What is the Mandela effect? Medically reviewed by Kendra Kubala, PsyD, Psychology — By Jamie Eske — Updated on July 28, 2022 Definition Causes Internet influence Features Examples Recognising false memories Summary The Mandela effect is a type of false memory that occurs when many different people incorrectly remember the same thing. It refers to a widespread false memory that Nelson Mandela, South African human rights activist and eventual president, died in prison in the 1980s. Memories are not always preciseTrusted Source recordings of events. They can change with time, and a person may have different memories in different contexts. Memory is also highly suggestible, which means that other people's opinions and memories may influence what a person remembers. Thus widespread incorrect information can subtly influence individual memories, giving rise to conspiracy theories and harmful false beliefs. Incorrect beliefs about the death of Nelson Mandela are just one example of the Mandela effect. Read on to learn more about the Mandela effect, including some examples and possible causes. The Mandela effect is when a group of people misremembers a historical event or person. Writer and researcher Fiona Broome coined the term over a decade ago when she created a website detailing her recollections of former South African President Nelson Mandela dying in prison in the 1980s. Nelson Mandela did not die in prison in the 1980s. After serving 27 years in prison, Mandela became president of South Africa from 1994-1999. He died in 2013. Despite this, Broome thought she remembered international news coverage of Mandela's death in the 1980s. She found other people who shared these false memories. Causes Memory is highly malleable. Input from other people can change memories, causing people to misremember events or remember events that never happened. Some potential causes of the Mandela effect include: False memories False memories are untrue or distorted recollections of an event. Some false memories contain elements of fact, closely resembling the actual event in question. However, others are entirely false. Memory is very suggestible. This means that information from another person, a person's desire to believe something different, or false information online can influence memory. People can believe a wide variety of false things. For example, scientists have been able to falsely induce memories of committing a crime. In one study, people could not distinguish false from real memories. Researchers have even discovered a simple method of inducing false memories, called the Deese-Roediger-McDermott (DRM) task paradigm. During the DRM task paradigm, participants read a list of related words, such as: zebra monkey whale snake elephant After reading the list, researchers will ask the participants whether or not they recall a "lure word," which is a related word that is not on the list. Usually, the participants will recognize the lure word and recall reading it, even though it was never on the list. Confabulation Confabulations areTrusted Source false memories a person spontaneously generates, often to compensate for holes in a person's memory. For example, a person who does not recall what happened to Nelson Mandela might conclude that he died a long time ago, then report remembering this "fact." The person is not lying. They truly believe the false memory. Confabulation is a common symptomTrusted Source of neurological conditions that affect memory, such as Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia. When a person with dementia confabulates, they are not lying or attempting to deceive. They simply do not have the necessary information or awareness to recall a specific memory or event accurately. Priming In psychology, priming describes a phenomenon in which exposure to a stimulus directly influences a person's response to a subsequent stimulus. For example, if a person reads or hears the word "grass," they will recognize another related word, such as "tree" or "lawnmower," more quickly than an unrelated word. Priming uses suggestive techniques to trigger a certain response. For instance, "Did you grab the red ball from the shelf?" is much more suggestive than the phrase, "Did you take anything from the shelf?" This is because the second phrase contains a general, open-ended question, while the first describes the action of grabbing a specific object: "the" red ball. Therefore, the first phrase has a stronger influence on memory than the second. Alternate realities or parallel universes Broome describes the Mandela effect as a clear memory of an event that never occurred in this reality. Her explanation ties into several popular theories that suggest that the Mandela effect occurs when our reality interacts with other alternate realities or parallel universes. While these explanations draw upon real theories in physics, they lack scientific support. For example, some people argue that the Mandela effect provides evidence for multiple universes. Some physicists, drawing on theories such as string theory, argue that there are infinite possible universes. Scientists have not tested the claim that the Mandela effect provides evidence for multiple universes. Evidence from memory research suggests that other theories of false memory might better explain the phenomenon. While mathematical modeling supports string theory and the notion of multiple universes, both remain controversial. Internet influence The concept of the Mandela effect continues to gain popular support on blogs. Some of these blogs argue the Mandela effect is evidence of multiple universes. Others use the Mandela effect to promote false claims and spread conspiracies. The internet is a potent tool for spreading false memories and beliefs. Drawing upon the basic principles of memories, some websites may be able to convince people to believe things that never happened by using tactics such as: priming combining false information with true information repeating a false claim so often that it begins to seem true spreading fake news stories to support a false claim Features Features of the Mandela effect can include: having distorted memories in which some aspects are partially or entirely inaccurate clearly remembering entire events that did not happen several unrelated people sharing similar distorted or inaccurate memories The Mandela effect occurs when a person believes that their distorted memories are, in fact, accurate recollections. They can clearly remember events that happened differently or events that never occurred at all. The Mandela effect does not involve lying or deception. Instead, it occurs when a person or group has clear but false memories. Examples This section includes a few famous examples of the Mandela effect. 'Luke, I am your father' Many people misquote James Earl Jones's famous line from the 1980 film "Star Wars: Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back." Instead of "Luke, I am your father," Darth Vader actually says, "No, I am your father." Berenstein Bears Many fans of the popular children's series, "The Berenstain Bears," report remembering the bears' family name as "Berenstein," after the authors. In reality, both the bears and the authors were named Berenstain. Monopoly monocle What did the Monopoly Man look like in the game Monopoly? Many people assert he had a monocle and cane. In fact, he did not have a monocle. This provides evidence for a visual Mandela effect. 'Play it again, Sam' In "Casablanca," another Hollywood classic, people remember Humphrey Bogart's character Rick saying, "Play it again, Sam." Some people say they can even "hear" his voice saying those words. However, it is Ingrid Bergman's character Elsa who says, "Play it, Sam." Sinbad's Shazam Some people who grew up in the 1980s and 1990s report a movie called "Shazam," in which Sinbad played a genie or other magical character fulfilling a child's wishes. Sinbad never made such a movie. How to recognize false memories One of the challenges of false memories is that they present similarly to real memories. A person may be very confident in the memory and spontaneously generate details to support it. Without external evidence of the memory's falseness, there may be no evidence that it is not true. A 2020 paper supports this claim, finding that people are no better than chance at detecting false memories. A person can improve their chances of detecting false memories by: consulting reliable sources such as encyclopedias, mainstream news sites, or peer-reviewed journals considering whether they may have a memory because someone else has that memory seeking independent evidence to support memories that seem suspicious or potentially harmful Summary The Mandela effect refers to widespread false memories that large numbers of people or a group of individuals believe. They may be harmless but can also support conspiracy theories or political agendas. Memory is not a perfect recording of events that happened. It can change with time, and with practice and priming. If a person's only source of evidence that something happened is from their own memory, it is possible that it did not happen. Independent verification of memories, especially those with important social or political consequences, can slow the spread of misinformation and conspiracies. (Medical News Today)

ultimatum

a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations. "their employers issued an ultimatum demanding an immediate return to work" Origin mid 18th century: from Latin, neuter past participle of ultimare 'come to an end'. (Online definition)

doubloon

a former Spanish gold coin. (Quizlet) an old gold coin of Spain and Spanish America... The first known use of doubloon was in 1622 (Merriam Webster dictionary)

proclivity

a natural or habitual inclination or tendency (especially of human character or behavior)

Where should bananas be kept?

[Bananas grow in hot climates, so they are unused to the cold. If they're kept at a cold temperature, the enzymes that enable them to ripen are inhibited. And as those enzymes become inactive, other enzymes operate more efficiently. Some cause cell damage, while others (browning enzymes) cause the skin to blacken.] Why can't you keep bananas in the fridge? THE answer to this, and to most questions pertaining to the science of food, can be found in Harold McGee's On Food and Cooking. Bananas grow in hot climates, so they are unused to the cold. If they're kept at a cold temperature, the enzymes that enable them to ripen are inhibited. And as those enzymes become inactive, other enzymes operate more efficiently. Some cause cell damage, while others (browning enzymes) cause the skin to blacken. Bananas, avocados, citrus fruits, pineapples, tomatoes, and melons all do best if stored at around 10°C. Richard Ehrlich, London NW5. THE answer from Richard Erlich, far from dissuading me from keeping bananas in the fridge, only confirms my habit. Fortunately for the suppliers, banana-eaters are divided into two fairly equal camps: those who like the delicate flavour of the green (unripe?) banana and those who prefer the quite different strong flavour of the yellow (over?)ripe banana. Using cold to inhibit the enzymes which aid the ripening process is just what is needed by the 'greens' but should be avoided by the other camp. As for the blackening of the skin, personally I never eat it. Maurice J. Richardson, Hatfield, Herts. TRAVELLING on a banana boat plying between Liverpool and the Cameroons, one learns a lot about bananas. They mustn't be bruised, so the ship takes a zig-zag course to avoid rough seas; they mustn't get too warm or they will ripen too soon; and especially they must not be allowed to get too cold (below 52°F the enzymes that bring about the ripening process are killed and the bananas stay green for ever). Actually, once nicely ripened, they can safely be kept in a fridge. (Dr) P. M. Edwards, Bath. I think that Bananas are not the fruit to be kept in freeze because cells die below 4 degree Celcius Sushant Guragain, Gatthaghar, Nepal The skins of bananas kept in the fridge become thin and unpleasantly discoloured. It occurred to me that this is probably due to dehydration. So I tried wrapping them in plastic bags and found that the fruit maintains its normal appearance very well, for at least several days. Also, I found that a banana straight from the fridge tastes even better than one at room temperature! So: 1. handling the fruit gently, buy a bunch with as few black marks as possible; 2. at home,separate the bananas carefully; 3. keep them at room temperature until they are at whatever degree of ripeness you prefer; 4. wrap them (singly or in pairs) in small to medium plastic supermarket shopping bags and put them in the fridge. (The purpose of having them singly or in pairs is to avoid handling the fruit more often than necessary. 5. Choose if possible the butter compartment in the fridge door or a high shelf. I have not tested whether the results would be equally satisfactory in the coldest parts of the fridge. Frederic O. Simpson, Wellington New Zealand It is perfectly fine to keep bananas in the fridge. It is all down to preference! I like mine hard. I do not like them soft and floppy. Ching Whah Nim, Beijing China No woman likes things soft and floppy! carol, birmingham uk Well played Carol! Dave, Davetown Davodia Having read all the earlier comments I decided to try putting a couple of bananas in my salad box in the 'fridge as I HATE soggy over-ripe bananas! I have just thoroughlt enjoyed my first chilled banana after waiting 2 days. I can honestly say it was beautiful with little skin discolouration. On the other hand, 2 bananas I left out of the 'fridge are only fit for cooking with!! Sandra B, Bolton England Think I will try these ideas out myself as I was told off by the boss last night for putting mine in the fridge. Tony, Birmingham England I like my bananas like I like my men... Seriously, waiting until they're the correct ripeness for you then refrigerate in bags is perfect for keeping them perfect for a day or four. Suzanne, London UK Add your answer UP (The Guardian)

eidetic

describes a type of visual memory that is retained for a long time; photographic (Quizlet) marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images an eidetic memory Did you know? Eidetic is the technical adjective used to describe what we more commonly call a photographic memory. The word ultimately derives from the Greek noun eidos, meaning "form." The ability of certain individuals to recall images, sounds, or events with uncanny accuracy is a subject of fascination for researchers in the field of psychology. Among notable people who were reputed to have eidetic memories is the late television comic Jackie Gleason, who reportedly was able to memorize an entire half-hour script in a single read-through. (Merriam Webster Dictionary)

miscellaneous

made up of a variety of unrelated items; difficult to categorize

neurotypical

not displaying or characterized by autistic or other neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior

twilight zone

the lowest level of the ocean to which light can penetrate [or reach. It could also mean] a conceptual area that is undefined or intermediate. (Online definitions)

¿Por que hiciste eso?

why did you do that?

syndrome

A group of symptoms typical of a particular disease or condition

Scientology

A religious system based on the seeking of self-knowledge and spiritual fulfillment through graded courses of study and training. It was a religion founded by L. Ron Hubbard in 1955 and characterized by a belief in the power of a person's spirit to clear itself of past painful experiences through self-knowledge and spiritual fulfillment.

Who am I kidding?

An expression of self-doubt. It's a rhetorical question said by someone who, upon the realization that they were kidding themselves, wishes to start thinking in a more sensible, reasonable way.

What are some facts about beavers?

Facts About Beavers By Alina Bradford published October 13, 2015 (opens in new tab) (opens in new tab) (opens in new tab) (opens in new tab) (opens in new tab) beaver Beavers are well-adapted for semi-aquatic life, with thick waterproof fur, a flattened tail that acts as a rudder, and closable nostrils and ears, as well as a transparent eye membrane. (Image credit: Nikolay Hristozov | Shutterstock) Beavers are among the largest living rodents in the world. They have thick fur, webbed feet and flattened, scale-covered tails. With powerful jaws and strong teeth, they fell trees in order to build homes and dams, often changing their environment in ways few other animals can. In fact, the idioms "busy as a beaver" and "eager beaver" are synonymous with being industrious and hardworking. Advertisement Size There are only two species of beaver. The American beaver (opens in new tab) (Castor canadensis) typically weighs 60 lbs. (27 kilograms) and are 23 to 39 inches (60 to 100 centimeters) long. The tail adds another 7.75 to 12 inches (20 to 30.5 cm) to its length, according to National Geographic. Eurasian beavers (Castor fiber) are around the same size. They usually weigh from 29 to 77 lbs. (13 to 35 kg) and are 29 to 53 in (73 to 135 cm) in length, according to the Animal Diversity Web (ADW) at the University of Michigan. Their tails are narrower and skulls are smaller than those of the American beaver. Sponsored Links Tylenol Has Been Linked To Autism. (Join The Lawsuit) ActionMatters.org Beavers have large teeth. Their upper incisors are from 20 to 25 mm long, according to ADW. They continue to grow throughout a beaver's lifetime. Beavers have adapted to a semi-aquatic existence with closable nostrils and ears, and transparent eye membranes. Both male and female beavers have a pair of scent glands, called castors, at the base of their tails. They use the secretions from these glands, a musk-like substance called castoreum, to mark territory. Advertisement ADVERTISING Beaver lodges, like this one in Wyoming, can help preserve local watersheds and habitat for wildlife. They provide critical habitat to some migratory songbirds. Beaver lodges, like this one in Wyoming, can help preserve local watersheds and habitat for wildlife. They provide critical habitat to some migratory songbirds. (Image credit: Wildlife Conservation Society. [STORY]) Habitat All beavers need water to survive. They live in or around freshwater ponds, lakes, rivers, marshes and swamps. American beavers live throughout North America, but stay clear of deserts and the far northern areas of Canada. Eurasian beavers once lived all over Europe and Asia. Now, they only live in small numbers throughout southern Scandinavia, Germany, France, Poland, and central Russia due to overhunting. Advertisement A beaver's home is called a lodge. Lodges are little dome-shaped houses made from woven sticks, grasses and moss plastered with mud. They that can be up to 8 feet (2.4 m) wide and up to 3 feet (1 m) high inside, according to ADW. Lodges are built on the banks of ponds, on islands or on lake shores, just barely above water level. Many lodges have an underwater backdoor for instant swimming access. 1 second of 30 seconds This video will resume in 14 seconds PLAY SOUND Habits Beavers are primarily nocturnal. They spend most of their time eating and building. Beaver create dams to make ponds, their favorite place to live. Dams are created by weaving branches together, felling trees by cutting them down with their teeth, and waterproofing the construction with mud. Dams can be several meters in length and up to 6.5 feet (2 m) high, according to ADW. Beavers also dig canals to bring water from large bodies of water to their feeding area. Advertisement Beavers have a tremendous impact on ecosystems. Dams alter the flow of rivers and can flood hundreds of acres. Dams prevent erosion and raise the water table, which helps purify the water as silt builds up and breaks down toxins, according to ADW. As sediment and debris build up, carbon increases and nitrogen decreases. The chemical changes alter the type of invertebrates, and the new water source attracts new species of birds, fish and amphibians. Flooded timber dies off and a forest becomes an open water ecosystem. Over time, abandoned dams decay, and meadows appear. [Related: Impact of Beaver Dams Wider Than Thought] Top hats made of beaver pelts were the height of fashion in the 19th century. Top hats made of beaver pelts were the height of fashion in the 19th century. (Image credit: ©AMNH/C. Chesek.) Diet Beavers don't just build homes from trees, they also eat them. Unlike other mammals, beavers can digest cellulose, which is a major component of their diet, according to ADW. Beavers eat leaves, roots and bark from aspens, willows, maples and poplar trees. They also eat aquatic plants. Advertisement Offspring Beavers are very social and live in groups called colonies. One lodge is often the home for a monogamous couple, their young and the yearlings born the year before. Beavers mate during the winter, from January to March. The Eurasian beaver has a gestation period of around 60 to 128 days. Then, they give birth to one to six babies that weigh around 8.1 to 22 ounces (230 to 630 grams), according to ADW. Baby beavers are called kits. Eurasian kits are usually weaned after six weeks of life. American beavers have a gestation period of around 105 to 107 days. They give birth to one to four kits that weigh around 9 to 21 ounces (250 to 600 g). American beavers are usually weaned in around two weeks. At around 2 years of age, the kits leave the lodge and make one of their own. At 3 years, they find a monogamous mate. Advertisement Beavers use their large upper incisors to cut down trees for their lodges and dams. Beavers use their large upper incisors to cut down trees for their lodges and dams. (Image credit: keylab007 Shutterstock) Classification/taxonomy The taxonomy of the beaver, according to the Integrated Taxonomic Information System (ITIS): Kingdom: Animalia Subkingdom: Bilateria Infrakingdom: Deuterostomia Phylum: Chordata Subphylum: Vertebrata Infraphylum: Gnathostomata Superclass: Tetrapoda Class: Mammalia Subclass: Theria Infraclass: Eutheria O (Live Science)

Stockholm Syndrome

Feelings of dependency and emotional closeness that hostages sometimes develop toward their kidnappers in prolonged hostage situations.

Can you cope with your child moving away?

Hal Shorey Ph.D. The Freedom to Change How to Cope With Your Child Moving Away From Home Finding the right balance between staying connected and developing independence. Posted September 12, 2021 Reviewed by Tyler Woods Share on FacebookShare Share on TwitterTweet Share via EmailEmail KEY POINTS Understanding your attachment style and those of your children will help you stay connected while also helping them establish their independence. Secure parents will fare best, stay connected, and offer encouragement as children explore their new worlds. Don't let your attachment style choose how frequently you have contact with your child or what the interaction is like. Letting go is hard to do. You raised your child for years and probably poured most of your soul and energy into them. And now they are leaving. It is that time of year again when many young people go off to college for the first time. Others move away for a job. Or perhaps they just got married. These are joyous moments, right? When my son recently moved away for college, I had expected him to be jubilant in anticipation. Instead, he was glum and seemed downhearted. My wife was very sad, and at times tearful. All I could say to her was, "You did this. You helped build a person who is bright and capable and ready to go out into the world to explore his own life. This is your reward for doing such a good job." Although it didn't take the tears away, she did appreciate the sentiment and my positive attitude. article continues after advertisement Fast forward to three weeks later and I am missing my son terribly. I wonder, 'Why isn't he texting or reaching out? Even when I initiate contact by reaching out to him? Maybe I don't have such a close relationship after all." For her part, my wife offered, "It's fine. He's just off exploring his new life." Now we can see firsthand the reverse flow of attachment. For years, our children came to us when they were anxious, hurt, or frightened. We became accustomed to validating them, providing comfort and support, and then encouraging them to go out and try again. Their attachment styles were formed relative to how we responded to them through a myriad of such interactions. As we comforted and soothed their anxieties, we typically felt strong and calm (or at least we tried to pretend). Now, they have left the nest and are out there in the world. Now it is our turn to feel anxious. We may be the ones who want to reach out for a connection to lower our anxiety. And many parents struggle finding the balance of when to hold on and when to let go, when to reach out and when to sit back and wait. How we cope with this dilemma appears to be attachment-style specific. Obviously, securely attached parents are going to fare the best. Because they view the world as a safe and predictable place and typically have strong social ties, they are not likely to worry that much about losing connection with their children. They will stay connected and offer encouragement and support as children explore their new worlds. By extension, the children will more readily develop increased confidence and independence (Kenny, 1987). The children may also be more comfortable individuating and establishing their own identities and therefore succeeding in college. article continues after advertisement Dismissing/avoidant parents might initially miss their children but then quickly adjust to the new reality. In extreme cases, they may openly celebrate the child leaving so that they can have their own lives back. I have even heard accounts of parents getting rid of their children's things after they moved out. Once their children move away, they are more likely than parents with other styles to go about their lives, content to wait until their children reach out to them. If the child reaches out with concerns about social issues or hurt feelings, the parent may have little interest. If the child discusses issues with school or competitive sports, however, the parent is likely to be more animated, get very involved, and could even be controlling. Because they are so achievement-oriented, they may reach out to their child frequently to assure the child's success. This level of involvement is likely to be perceived by the child as self-serving and the parents are not likely to be perceived as very available to provide the type of support that the child feels that he/she needs (Feeney and Thrush, 2010). Preoccupied/anxiously attached parents are likely to feel sad and experience a sense of loss when their children move away. They are likely to miss the connection they had with their child (even if the relationship was tumultuous). Because they worry about relationships and whether they are loved, the preoccupied parent may struggle more with letting go. They might want the child to reach out more and be reminded of their child's love and closeness. They are likely to be just as, or more, concerned with their child's social life as with their performance at school or work. In extreme cases, they may stay overly involved and reach out too frequently. They may need the child to remind them that they are loved and cared for. By extension, they could slow down the child's ability to explore the world and establish their independent adult identity. Although not specifically about adjustment to college, Feeney and Thrush's (2010) research with couples shows us that preoccupied individuals may offer less encouragement for exploration, especially if their relationship partners are avoidant (i.e., already highly independent). Fearfully attached parents are likely to be more unpredictable relative to those with the other styles. Because they have high levels of both anxious and avoidant attachment, they may go back and forth between trying too hard to stay close and totally shutting down and being distant. In more extreme cases, these parents may become hostile and accuse the child of not caring or abandoning them. Alternately, they may totally shut down and discontinue contact. Obviously, this pattern is likely to produce more distress for the child who may struggle with the parents' emotionality or with feeling alone in the world and cut off with no support. Feeney and Thrush (2010) asserted that those with fearful styles are the least likely to encourage independence and exploration in others. article continues after advertisement It should be evident that to make the most of reading this blog post, it will be helpful to know your attachment style. For an easy-to-read explanation of attachment theory, go here. And be sure to read the descriptions of the secure, dismissing, preoccupied, and fearful styles. Understanding your style and how it interacts with those of your children will help you stay connected while also helping them establish the independence and autonomy needed to adjust to life on their own. Recommendations Don't let your attachment style choose how frequently you have contact with your child or what the interaction is like. Agree on one day and time each week when the parent and child will reach out and "touch base." Try to connect in person or on the telephone, not with text. Do not disconnect from your child. Avoid retaliating in kind if your child does not reach out to you as often as you would like. Give your child enough space and time to figure out their own lives. Let your child have some failures so that they can learn to face life's challenges. And then be there for them when they return for comfort, encouragement, and support. References Feeney, B. C., & Thrush, R. L. (2010). Relationship Influences on Exploration in Adulthood: The Characteristics and Function of a Secure Base. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 98(1), 57-76. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0016961 Sax, L.J. & Wartman, K.L. (2010). Studying the Impact of Parental Involvement on College Student Development: A Review and Agenda for Research. Higher Education: Handbook of Theory and Research 25, 219-254, DOI 10.1007/978-90-481-8598-6_6, Kenny, M. (1987). The extent and function of parental attachment among first-year college students. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 16, 17-27. (Psychology Today)

How to be great at waitressing?

How to Be a Great Waitress WORKING EFFECTIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY HANDLING SPECIFIC SITUATIONS INTERACTING WITH CUSTOMERS FOR BETTER TIPS LEARNING AT A NEW JOB QUESTIONS & ANSWERS TIPS AND WARNINGS RELATED ARTICLES REFERENCES ARTICLE SUMMARY Author Info Last Updated: October 25, 2022 Approved Download Article Working as a waitress can be a whirlwind, whether you're an experienced staff member or you've just entered the industry. To be a great waitress, you'll need to work efficiently by knowing the menu, multitasking, anticipating customer requests, and following other best waitstaff practices. It's also a good idea to prepare yourself for common on-the-job scenarios, learn how to improve customer interactions for better tips, and familiarize yourself with any rules or customs specific to the restaurant you work at. Things You Should Know Familiarize yourself with the menu ahead of time so that you can answer questions about the dishes and drinks. Stay busy, try to multitask, and never dismiss the value of writing down what you need to do. Focus on building the best dining experience possible for the guests who come to dine with you. Try to not let bad tips and rude customers ruin your shift; turn the other cheek whenever possible and don't let obstacles throw your energy off. Method 1 Method 1 of 4: Working Effectively and Efficiently Image titled 41307 1 1 Always look presentable. If you wear a uniform, make sure to keep it in excellent condition - ironed, stain-free and neat. If there is no uniform, wear well kept, slightly formal clothing. This gives the customers a better first impression and will keep your boss happy. Check your appearance periodically to see if you look disheveled or have spilled something on yourself without noticing. Keep your nails clean and tidily cut. Wear nice looking shoes, not tennis shoes, and keep them tightly tied. Never wear sandals. Refrain from wearing perfume or cologne as some guests may have allergies to these scents. Similarly, try not to smoke before work or during your break, as it can leave an obnoxious smell. Keep jewelry and makeup subtle and unobtrusive. Image titled 41307 2 2 Know the menu thoroughly. Being familiar with every item on the menu will save you a lot of time and trouble when taking orders. Study the menu on your own time if necessary to avoid mistakes and slow orders. Become familiar with every option for every order. If a customer orders a sandwich, you should know which breads are available, which sides come with the sandwich, and how to phrase these questions clearly. Know which dishes contain meat, dairy, and common allergens, such as peanuts. Be ready to suggest similar alternatives for customers who cannot eat those ingredients. Familiarize yourself with the daily specials before each work shift. Advertisement Image titled 41307 3 3 Suggest additional purchases. Politely ask whether the customer would like a drink, a side, or an upgrade to their order. Management will love you for this and your tips will increase as your customers purchase more. Know which liquors are expensive and high quality. Suggest their use when a customer requests a mixed drink. Always ask if the table would like an appetizer. Never be pushy or deceptive. Present the option to the customer politely, and don't try to pass off an upgrade as though it were free. Image titled 41307 4 4 Multitask. You'll have a much easier shift if you can accomplish three tasks in one trip to the kitchen and back. Take empty dishes from tables whenever you're on your way to the kitchen. Fill up a tray when several tables want condiments, drinks, or similar items instead of carrying them out one by one. Unless you are an experienced waitress who can confidently remember every task, write your orders down immediately and make additional notes if you need to remember to do something in five or ten minutes. Image titled 41307 5 5 Manage your time well. Keep track of how long its been since you checked on each table, and become familiar with how long each meal takes to cook. Plan to visit each table after they've finished each course. Move briskly without running and try to maintain a steady pace to keep everything running smoothly. Pass on your knowledge of waiting times to the customer. If someone orders a well done steak, let them know it will take longer. If a soup just ran out and the cook needs to make a new one, let the customer know how long that will take and suggest an alternative. Image titled 41307 6 6 Check the food before bringing it to the customer. Especially when there are special requests involved, you can save everyone a lot of headache by making sure the order is correct before bringing it to the table. If an order has been messed up, let the kitchen and the customers know. Apologize for the additional delay and, if allowed in your restaurant, try to give them a discounted meal or something extra to make up for it. Image titled 41307 7 7 Anticipate common requests. Most customers want ketchup with their burger. Kids frequently drop their silverware. Once you get to know which requests are popular with which meals and customers, bring them to the table in advance. This saves both you and the customers time and makes them feel taken care of. Extra silverware, condiment packets, and napkins can be kept in your apron pocket if you have one. Image titled 41307 8 8 Don't let a bad tip ruin your shift. Never complain to a table about a bad tip, no matter how great your service was. Not only could you get yourself fired but it sets you up as the complaining type and creates bad relations with the other waiting staff. Some people never tip appropriately regardless of service. Others may not be able to afford the tip, or may be visiting from a country where tipping is not common practice. Image titled 41307 9 9 Never sit around doing nothing. If you have no customers to take care of, clean! There's always work to be done in a restaurant. Show your employer that you're able to take initiative and work hard. If your current tables do not require attention, look at the other customers as well. Some of them may be trying to flag down a waitress for a small request that you can fill without stepping on the toes of their waitstaff. Advertisement SPONSORED Fast Capital | Best business loans 2022 Get your business loan options in minutes. Simply answer a few questions to see your options. It's free & won't impact your credit score. SEE LOAN OFFERS Method 2 Method 2 of 4: Handling Specific Situations Image titled 41307 28 1 Pay attention to the parents when the kids are ordering. A kid might try to order an unhealthy meal, caffeinated beverage, or other item parents might disapprove of. Give the parent a chance to object before you repeat the order. If the parents aren't paying attention, repeat the order back loudly and clearly, addressing the whole table. This gives them another chance to notice. In front of young kids, after a parent has objected, you may be able to smooth the argument away by saying "Sorry, we're all out of soda, can I get you something else?" If you personally disapprove of someone's choice, don't say anything. This is up for the parents to decide, unless the order clearly violates the law, such as serving a child alcohol. Image titled 41307 29 2 Don't set dangerous objects near children. If you are serving hot dishes, putting down metal utensils, or giving the table some other potentially dangerous item, do so near the parents and address them with a "Here you are, sir/ma'am" if you need to get their attention. Image titled 41307 30 3 Make the dining experience as fast as possible for parents with babies. Babies and young toddlers typically have a short attention span, and if the meal drags on, the parents and the whole restaurant could suffer as well. Check in more frequently on them than on other tables, and multitask as much as possible to speed up the process. Ask if you can take the drink and meal orders together instead of in two visits. Suggest a more quickly prepared alternative if one of the customers orders a dish that will take extra long. This is the rare situation in which you should bring the check when you approach to clear the final dishes. You should still ask if the customers are finished first. Do not make the customers feel like you're trying to throw them out. Many tired and busy parents will appreciate your prompt service, but if they are getting annoyed, back off and let them continue the meal at their own pace. Image titled 41307 31 4 Stay neutral in arguments over who will pay. If multiple customers at one table request to pay, try to place the check in the center of the table instead of near one of them. Just smile and say you'll be back to collect it if they try to involve you in the argument. Image titled 41307 32 5 Understand how to serve tea and coffee. People get very serious about their tea and coffee, and it pays to know how to serve it in a way that will make most people happy. Disregard this advice when serving regulars if you know they like their drink a certain way (which you should pay attention to). Tea drinkers are often finicky about preparation. Always be sure you know which variety of tea they ordered, and provide plenty of milk, lemon wedges, and sugar on the side so they can customize their drink. Do not refill tea or coffee without asking the customer. You may be changing their carefully prepared beverage. Don't place the spoon in the tea or coffee before taking it to the customer. This lowers the temperature of the drink, which some customers don't appreciate. Image titled 41307 33 6 Ask diners if they would like water when they order caffeine or alcohol. This is more relevant for people eating a meal than for people at the bar. Many people like to drink water in order to counteract the dehydrating or mood-changing effects of these substances. You may not be able to follow this rule in regions outside the United States, where serving water is less common or comes with a price tag. Image titled 41307 34 7 Never put an object from the floor back on the table. Even if it is just a paper advertisement or a salt shaker, you should replace it with a new one from the kitchen. Your customers do not want to have "floor germs" on their table. Image titled 41307 35 8 Practice specialized tasks on your own time. Most commonly, this involves opening a bottle of wine. Many serving tasks you find difficult can easily be practiced when you "serve" yourself dinner, so they don't take much extra time to learn. Most waiters who are supposed to open wine are expected to do so in front of the customers who ordered it. Practice this task to make it seem smooth and natural. Image titled 41307 36 9 Choose appropriate music and vary the selection. If you have control over the music selection, keep it at a relatively low volume and choose something appropriate to the mood. Never play a full album; mix it up so a customer who doesn't like that artist has another chance to hear something they do enjoy. Customers at a cafe, or eating during the morning and early afternoon, usually enjoy calming, unobtrusive music. Classical music is a good choice. Customers eating in the evening may enjoy more energetic music, but this varies greatly depending on the atmosphere of the establishment. Most still want the volume low so they can talk to their friends. In any case, waitstaff rarely make music decisions for the busiest or most formal times of day. Advertisement Method 3 Method 3 of 4: Interacting With Customers for Better Tips Image titled 41307 10 1 Introduce yourself. Make eye contact with the customers after they are seated and promptly introduce yourself. This starts the conversation out on the right foot, leading to better tips on average, and gives them a polite way to get your attention later.[1] Multitask by introducing yourself as you pass out the menus and check that every customer has enough silverware and napkins. Image titled 41307 11 2 Stay polite, friendly and helpful, even to angry customers. When speaking to customers, always use respectful terms of address such as sir, ma'am, and miss. Act friendly and positive, and make your customers feel as comfortable as possible. Ask the customer whether they have dined at your restaurant before -- that way if they are new, first-time customers you can welcome them and offer your help with the menu. Appear friendly, but do not get involved in the customer's conversation unless asked. Do your job, then leave the customer to eat or talk in relative privacy. Always remember to smile. No matter how irritating customers or co-workers can be, just put on a pleasant face and suck it up -- this will save you a lot of drama! Don't talk or gossip about customers even when you think they can't hear you. Remain polite and respectful when discussing them in case they are in earshot. Image titled 41307 12 3 Respect the customer's personal space. Never sit down at the table to take an order. Don't shake hands or hug unless you are personal friends with the customer, or you are shaking hands to greet them as per restaurant policy. Other physical interactions depend on the atmosphere of the place you work, and whether you are a man or woman. Studies of U.S. restaurants show that women who touch a customer lightly on the shoulder, hand, or arm receive better tips from that customer on average.[2] This should only be done when the customer appears relaxed and comfortable, and never if the customer is on a date with a woman. Be friendly rather than flirtatious. Image titled 41307 13 4 Personally advise the customer about their order. If a customer asks for advice, be prepared to answer whatever questions they have or recommend your favorite dish in each category. If a customer orders a dish that gets a lot of complaints, try to recommend another option. Customers like it when you give them the "inside scoop", but you shouldn't go so far as to insult a dish unless you work in an unusually relaxed environment. Instead, steer them away from a bad dish by recommending a similar, better option as "the chef's specialty" or "my personal favorite". Image titled 41307 14 5 Accommodate any reasonable request your customers make. Many people have serious reasons to avoid certain ingredients, including potentially fatal allergies. If you aren't familiar with every dish on the menu (which you should be), do your best to find out for them how it is prepared. Never lie to a customer and give them an ingredient they requested to have removed. If you can't accommodate the request, simply say so and suggest a similar alternative that the customer can eat. Don't question your customers. Keep in mind there are many reasons for menu change requests, such as religious, vegetarian/vegan and cultural dietary restrictions. If the request can be accommodated, don't ask why they made it! Image titled 41307 15 6 Repeat the order back to your customers. Studies of U.S. establishments show that waitstaff who repeat the order to the customers receive more tips.[3] However big or small that effect might be, it also gives the customer a chance to correct any mistakes or change their mind. Image titled 41307 16 7 Check on your customers regularly and give them updates. If you just got a job as a waiter or waitress, it may take some time to get a feel for how frequently you should check on each table. At least check in whenever they are finishing a course or if they look bored or irritated while waiting for their food. Give them a specific time estimate if they ask how long the food will take, whenever possible. Stop by to refill your customers' glass whenever it gets low, or to ask if they'd like to purchase another for non-refillable drinks. Image titled 41307 17 8 Clear old dishes promptly but not without talking to the customer. Always ask whether the customer is finished before removing dishes with food on them. If there is a lot of food left, ask whether the food was all right. Many restaurants allow their waitstaff to give unsatisfied customers something extra to make up for bad experiences. This could save your tip. Image titled 41307 18 9 Befriend your regulars. Be friendly to people you would not normally talk to. When someone sits in your section more than once, take the time to get to know them. You don't need to become fast friends, but you will probably end up getting to like at least some of them. Remember their names and favorite drinks, where they work etc. Make them feel like they are going to a restaurant to visit a friend: you! Try to write down the appearance and preferences of anyone who visits more than once. The customer will be impressed if you know how they like their steak on the third visit. Image titled 41307 19 10 Don't assume the customer wants the check, but don't leave them waiting either. Ask if there is anything more you can get for them, and that will open the opportunity for them to ask for dessert, a take-out item/bag, or the check. If they state they need nothing else, then ask if they are ready for the check. If they have to ask you, it generally means they are in a hurry, or you have waited an excessive amount of time since you last checked on the table. Never ask the customer if they need change. Say "I will be right back with your change," then come back and leave the full amount on the table. Advertisement Method 4 Method 4 of 4: Learning at a New Job Image titled 41307 20 1 Learn the menu in advance. When you interview, be proactive and ask for a menu to take with you. Study it on your own to become familiar with the food available. Chain restaurants have great training programs that guide you through the menu and kitchen; bars and smaller places expect you to learn on your own. Image titled 41307 21 2 Show up to work early. Punctuality is important for any job, especially one you've just started. Restaurants are particularly fast-paced during peak hours, however, and you'll make a good impression if you're ready to work on the dot or even a little in advance.[4] Image titled 41307 22 3 Listen to experienced employees carefully. Even if you have worked as a waitress before, you should pay attention to the details of your new job. Each restaurant does things slightly differently, and paying attention during training will let you do your job more smoothly.[5] It also never hurts to be respectful to your boss and coworkers, of course, rather than blowing them off with phrases such as "I know this already." Image titled 41307 23 4 Keep up with the pace. If you've never worked in a busy restaurant before, you could be surprised by how fast-paced and exhausting the work is. Do your best to keep up to the pace of the other waitstaff. As you grow more accustomed to the job, you'll have a somewhat easier time. At the beginning, you may need to push yourself.[6] Image titled 41307 24 5 Perform unpleasant tasks without complaining. You'll start at the bottom of the totem pole, but you won't work your way up by complaining. Clean tables and work unpleasant hours if you are asked to, and remember that you'll have more choice once you're more established.[7] Image titled 41307 25 6 Take criticisms in stride. Waiting tables can feel a little cutthroat, as some waitstaff will blame you personally if they think you contributed to a bad customer experience (and therefore a bad tip).[8] Know that you'll receive less criticism once you learn the ropes, and try to smile and not let it get to you. This is definitely not true of every restaurant. Don't be scared off from applying to a waiting job before you know the atmosphere of the establishment. Image titled 41307 26 7 Volunteer for extra shifts. Especially in the beginning, you want management and coworkers to know you are reliable. Once you know you can handle an extra shift, volunteer to cover a gap in the schedule so you stand out to your new boss. Image titled 41307 27 8 Ask questions when you don't know how to do something. Show an interest in learning specific skills or restaurant practices. Always ask how to do something if you are afraid of making a mistake. People know you're new, and you should be able to find at least one person who appreciates when you ask questions. This does not mean you should question your job. "What time do I get off?" or "Do I have to do this?" are common phrases that will irritate your coworkers and employer. Advertisement Community Q&A Question How does a waitress remember what food goes to what table? Community Answer Community Answer Tables are usually numbered, so when you take the customer's order, you write down/tap in the table number. Over time you will learn to remember faces and the positions of customers too, as customers appreciate you remembering who ordered what. Or, simply write/tap that down as well. Not Helpful 5 Helpful 93 Question I am having the hardest time memorizing every ingredient that goes into an item on our menu, and I've been where I work for 4 years. What can I do? Tom De Backer Tom De Backer Top Answerer That's OK, no one expects you to know everything all the time. You can write them down on a cheat sheet in your pocket or at the counter. When you don't know every ingredient, simply say "I'll check on that and be right back." Not Helpful 0 Helpful 29 Question How can I get bigger tips? Community Answer Community Answer Smile. Introduce yourself by name, be prompt with service. Show you care about their experience. Not Helpful 8 Helpful 66 Should I ask if anyone has allergies before they order? Community Answer Community Answer You can but you could also save that question for when a person orders a meal you know has a food that can cause allergies. That way you won't ask unnecessary questions but you can double check orders that have common allergens. Not Helpful 4 Helpful 40 Question How do I know when a smile is excessive? Community Answer Community Answer If you can feel that your smile is uncomfortable, try to soften it a little. The best indicator is looking to see if anyone is giving you a funny look. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 25 Question At what type of establishments besides late night clubs do waitresses make the most money? Community Answer Community Answer At high-end restaurants, servers can make well into the six-figures yearly including tips. Not Helpful 3 Helpful 28 Question Is there any possibility a waitress can be promoted? Tom De Backer Tom De Backer Top Answerer Of course. You can become the head waitress, the team leader, the maitre d', or you can even start your own business. Not Helpful 3 Helpful 20 Question How long should I wait before collecting their plates, etc.? Jessie Chen Jessie Chen Community Answer Wait till everyone at the table is finished to collect the plates, unless a new course is coming and the old and finished dishes are in the way. Not Helpful 5 Helpful 29 Question Can one date his or her customer? Tom De Backer Tom De Backer Top Answerer Sure. Being a waiter or waitress puts you in contact with lots and lots of people, which is a good way to meet someone. Try to keep work and romance separate, though. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 11 Question I just got a job as a waitress, how can I learn the menu and how can I be a good waitress? Elizabeth Klingler Elizabeth Klingler Community Answer Practice at home! Maybe you can practice with a friend, family member, etc. Read the menu to them, then they pretend to pick something out. Go over the order again and again to get the hang of the menu. To be a good waitress, never say the costumer was wrong. In some places, if you get the order wrong then you will have to pay for the order instead of the costumer. Even if the costumer made a mistake, never say so, and nicely say you will correct it and go on with your day. I once had a waitress do that to me and complain in my face that she would need to pay for the food she made a mistake on, and it was not pleasant. Not Helpful 2 Helpful 14 Question If there is a group of people, what order should I go in when taking orders? Community Answer Community Answer You should always start with the ladies first, beginning with the oldest of the ladies and ending with the youngest. After that, you move onto the men, starting with the oldest and finishing with the youngest. Not Helpful 33 Helpful 59 Question What do I do if I can't understand someone with a thick accent without being rude? Community Answer Community Answer One of the best (and least rude) ways would be to have them point to the item on the menu, or simply repeat what you think you heard and let them agree or disagree. It's more simple to hear "yes" or "no" rather than the full name of the meal. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 3 Question How do I write down the customer's order? Community Answer Community Answer Different restaurants may have different ideas of how to write down orders, but generally you'll want to have a list of abbreviations for different orders to simplify the process. For example, you could use "HB" for hamburgers, BP for baked potatoes, etc. You can come up with your own system that's tailored to the menu at your place of employment. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 3 Question Is waitress a job I can be rich with? Tom De Backer Tom De Backer Top Answerer Most research says no. You get a salary, and tips can be great some shifts, but all in all, it doesn't pay much and you won't get rich doing this. Not Helpful 2 Helpful 4 Question Which would I make more money at, a steak house or Starbucks? Community Answer Community Answer It depends on what position you have at the steakhouse and what you get paid at Starbucks. Starbucks would start you at around minimum wage, as would positions like dishwashing, prep cook, and expo at a steak house. You can look into exact wages in your area. You would definitely earn more waiting and bussing tables, and bartending in a steak house than you would at Starbucks. Many hostessing positions pay $10/hour, which may be more than the Starbucks starting rate (you would have to check in your area what that is). Not Helpful 0 Helpful 0 (Wikihow)

How do I be a waiter?

How to Be a Waiter Author Info Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References Approved Download Article From Kelsey Grammar to Kelly Clarkson, many people got their career started off by waiting tables. Working in a restaurant environment is fast paced and lucrative work if you approach it correctly and develop the right skills. If you're personable, reliable, and a good multi-tasker, serving food in a restaurant can be a great short- or long-term opportunity. Follow our general advice below or find more specific help by checking out the sections listed below. Things You Should Know Practice skills that are crucial in the role, like communication, quick thinking, and upper body strength. To find yourself a job, search for locations that will train you, connect with the hiring manager, and do interview prep beforehand. Earn tips by coming in well dressed, learning to read your customers, and being on the lookout for signals from your guests. Part 1 Part 1 of 4: Learning the Skills 1 Be charming. People come out to eat at a restaurant for more than the food. Eating out is an experience, and the wait staff is the most visible part of that experience. Can you chat up even the most dour and uncommunicative people at parties? Do you empathize with people easily? Are you quick with a joke and smile? If the answer is yes, you've got one of the necessary traits at waiting tables.[1] You don't have to be a stand-up comedian, but you do need to be a good communicator. Quiet servers are often just as good as talkative ones, they just need to make sure they're communicating with body language, doing their job efficiently, and listening as well as they possibly can. 2 Be quick. Are you a good multitasker? Can you remember lists of things easily? Can you adapt quickly to changes and new situations? A member of the wait staff needs to be able to take orders, communicate with the back-of-house workers, and act as the "face" of the restaurant to the customers. It's a tall order, but it must be done quickly and efficiently for the restaurant to work properly.[2] 3 Be strong. Carrying a tray of wobbly drinks and hot plates full of buffalo wings is difficult enough to do without spilling once, but after a long shift of serving rowdy football fans? It can be downright exhausting. If you're fit and healthy, being a member of the wait staff will be a much more comfortable transition. You don't have to be a bodybuilder, but it helps to be comfortable negotiating a crowded room while holding heavy objects safely and quickly. 4 Write clearly and use computers well. If the kitchen can't read your tickets, things will get messed up quickly. Keeping track of information and legibly recording your orders is a critical part of the process of the restaurant. The whole process starts with you. At the restaurant, you'll get specific details and learn how the system works, but in general you want to be familiar with the essentials. SPONSORED Fast Capital | Best business loans 2022 Get your business loan options in minutes. Simply answer a few questions to see your options. It's free & won't impact your credit score. SEE LOAN OFFERS Part 2 Part 2 of 4: Getting a Serving Job 1 Apply at restaurants that will train you. The upscale bistro downtown probably doesn't hire servers without experience. If you've never worked as a server before, chain restaurants like Chili's or Applebee's are a good way to start out, getting the training and experience you'll need to get a job where the tips will be great. You'll learn a lot about the way a restaurant works and the way to be a good server. 2 Get a resume together. If you don't have one already, focus on articulating the skills necessary for serving food in a restaurant. You'll need to be good at dealing with customers, working in a team-environment, and working quickly. Highlight similar work experience that illustrates these traits.[3] If you've never worked before and hope to get a job as a server, you might focus on school successes and teamwork environments like sports in which you've thrived. Be positive and sell yourself. That's the job. 3 Talk to the manager. When you find a place that's hiring, ask to speak with the manager. A resume left with a bartender might end up getting lost, and anyway, the bartender isn't the one doing the hiring.[4] Bring your resume and your enthusiasm. Tell them you'd be really excited to speak more about the position and that you're ready to start right away. Since being a server is about making a good first impression most of the time, treat getting the job like the job. Make a good first impression. 4 Anticipate the interview questions. Preparing answers to likely interview questions will ensure that you're not thrown for a loop in front of the manager and that you've thought through the responsibilities of the job.[5] Some managers might ask, "What's your favorite thing on our menu?" or "If the kitchen ran out of fish, what would suggest as an alternative?" Brush up on the menu of the restaurant before hand by checking out Yelp or the restaurant's website. Be prepared to respond to disaster scenarios. Some managers might ask, "Someone gives you a fake ID to buy alcohol. What do you do?" or, more directly, "A customer is angry about their meal. What should you do?" Think through these scenarios and respond thoughtfully. Come with questions of your own. Usually, a good question like "What does someone need to be really successful here?" can leave an extremely good first impression on a manager. They'll often give you the chance to ask questions, which can be a missed opportunity in an interview. Part 3 Part 3 of 4: Waiting Tables 1 Approach your table with a smile and a greeting. Introduce yourself and say your name clearly. "Hello, nice to see you. My name's ___. Here is/are your menu(s). Would you like to start off with a refreshing beverage from our bar?" Greet customers with a smile as they enter.[6] Maintain balanced eye-contact, but avoid staring too much. Some customers are uncomfortable and will come to the restaurant in a variety of moods. Respond appropriately. As you seat them at their table, perhaps stir up small conversation as you proceed to take their drink orders. If they're not interested in chatting, leave it at that. 2 Take drink orders clockwise starting at your left. If children are present, ask for their beverages first, followed by ladies and then gentleman all following the left to right order. This is also the time to discuss the specials and any promotional deals the restaurant is offering at this time. When you have served their drinks, ask if they have any questions about the menu. Don't rush them unless they are late, and even then do it gently. If they are ready to order, take their order clockwise starting at the left and closest to you. If not, proceed to your next table. 3 When the main course is served, always ask, "May I get you anything else?" and give them a second to think about it. Check back again within five minutes with, "Are you enjoying everything?" Ask specifically about the host's dish: "How is your Steak?" Listen to their response and read their body language: many people are shy to speak up about problems, and they may blame that on you when it comes time to leave a tip.[7] Bring out orders in their entirety. Never bring one guest's food without the other's, unless specially instructed otherwise (this may happen if one or more in the party plans to leave early). Normally, there shouldn't be any circumstance causing one part of an order be ready much later than another. If on occasion you foresee this happening and causing a problem, briefly explain the situation and ask how the customer would prefer handling this. 4 Clear any of the plates from the current course as soon as it is obvious the customer wants them to be removed. Always clear plates from the previous course completely before bringing plates from the next course to a table.[8] Before clearing plates, be sure to ask politely if they are ready. Use a manner and tone consistent with both the atmosphere and the customer. Generally, "May I take this/these for you?" is good. Don't ask if they're obviously still eating. If someone is talking and has food on their plate, don't interrupt their story to ask if they're finished. Wait and come back. 5 When the main course is cleared, ask, "Would you like to see the dessert menu?" Asking gives them the chance to order more without having to make a special request for it. They'll be more likely to order dessert if you ask. Clear any complimentary breads and/or soup from before the main course before ordering the dessert course. 6 Take their payment. Inform your guest that you will prepare the payment for them, making change if they've paid in cash and processing the credit card if they're using one. Never ask if they want change or assume that the change is for your tip--just break the bills and quickly return with the change/receipt. When you return, thank them and say something like, "It's been nice to see you" , "Hope to see you again soon", OR if they seem to be lingering after their meal, just say "thank you", as they may need refills and such. Part 4 Part 4 of 4: Making Good Tips 1 Make sure you are presentable before you leave for work. Always arrive at least 15 minutes before your scheduled shift, well-groomed and with clean clothes on. Wear clean shoes and socks. Your hair should be neat and washed, your nails clean, your uniform/clothes clean and modest. Apply limited quantities of makeup to show a natural & fresh look.[9] 2 Watch for signals. If a table wants something they will glance around to look for you. Learn to stay alert as you walk the floor, without staring at your tables. Most customers will make eye contact as a signal that they need you. This can give them the feeling like you're paying attention without hovering over them. When their good food and conversation is over, they will start looking around at other diners or the walls. This can tell you when to clear plates, offer desserts or drop the check. 3 Talk less. Avoid going into eagle-hawk mode and badgering the customers. Customers hate to be ogled at or constantly interrupted in their conversation and meal, but will also need something every now and then. It's a delicate balance. Learn to gauge your customers quickly. If a couple seems tense and like they might be in the middle of an argument, it's probably not the time to ask "Celebrating something tonight?" or other breaking-the-ice questions. If a table seems like they're having a good time and are hesitant to leave, suggest drinks or coffee. If they feel like chatting, take a moment to chat. If not, leave them in their conversation. 4 Don't assume the man will pay. If it becomes directly known to you during their visit which guest will be paying, you may leave the check at the end of the table by him or her. Otherwise, leave the check in the middle of the table. Check is always face down. If it is inside a check envelope, lay it flat on the table. 5 Stay calm. When customers get nasty or rude, listen and communicate with them openly. Remember: it's a job, it isn't personal. If they're openly belligerent, disturbing other customers, or overtly drunk, grab the manager and let the boss deal with it. Community Q&A Question If a customer leaves a tip in my hand, is it for the restaurant or me? Community Answer Most of the time, it's for you. Though, if you're not sure, ask the manager politely and he or she will help you. Question From which side do I serve the guests, and from which side do I clear the dishes? Where do I place wine in front of the guest? Community Answer Drinks should always be on the right side of the guest, bread plates on the left. Use the path of least resistance for clearing and serving. Question How do I deal with questions I don't know how to answer? Community Answer Never give the customer your best guess, because you may be wrong. Be honest with them and tell them you're unsure, then make every attempt to find a more experienced coworker or a manager (preferably a manager) and ask them. Take the answer back to the customer yourself, do not ask your coworker or a manager to do so for you. How do I set a place? Community Answer Community Answer When you set the table (do it before any guests arrive; it saves you time), put the placemats down first, and then the dishes on top of the mats. Put the napkin with the fork and knife and on the top right the glass of water. When the diner has had his entrees, you set the fork and knife for the main course by putting the knife on the right and fork on the left. Not Helpful 2 Helpful 18 Question What side should a waiter serve a table? Tom De Backer Tom De Backer Top Answerer Usually, guests are served over their right shoulders. Not Helpful 3 Helpful 14 Question How do I remember everything as a waiter? Community Answer Community Answer Always write everything down, even if you think you will remember it. Even the most complicated and extensive orders can be remembered as long as you write them down in your server book. Not Helpful 2 Helpful 16 Question Do I have to have a cloth over your arm? Community Answer Community Answer No, not always. It really depends on the sort of restaurant you are working in. In general, the fancier the restaurant is, the more likely you will need will gauge to have a cloth draped over your arm. Not Helpful 9 Helpful 23 Question How old do I have to be a server in the US? Community Answer Community Answer In most states, it's 18. Some might require you to be older to serve alcohol. Not Helpful 10 Helpful 17 Question How do I respond in an interview? Community Answer Community Answer Answer honestly, and use your head. The person interviewing you will put you in scenarios common in a restaurant and see if you act appropriately. Not Helpful 6 Helpful 16 Question How old do I need to be to get a job as a waiter? Community Answer Community Answer 16 is generally the minimum age, though some restaurants may prefer to hire people over 18. Not Helpful 7 Helpful 15 Question How can I know if a customer dislikes me? How can I change a customer's attitude towards me? Community Answer Community Answer Try not to take this kind of thing personally. All you have to do is be polite and friendly. If the customer is rude, it most likely has nothing to do with you. As long as you're being polite and friendly, and taking care of their needs, you're doing your job. You don't need to be the customer's best friend. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 3 Question Is it ever acceptable for a server to hand a plate of food to a guest seated at a table? Community Answer Community Answer That practice is generally not suggested, since as their server you are expected to place the food in front of them. Most customers are unprepared to handle plates of food, especially if it is hot or somewhat heavy. If they happen to be in a booth or in a position so it is difficult to place the food in front of them, the server should ask the customer if they would mind having their food passed to them. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 2 (Wikihow)

How do I earn more tips?

How to Earn More Tips as a Waiter or Waitress Author Info Last Updated: September 15, 2021 References Approved Download Article Getting great tips may feel like it comes down to the mood of the table, but in reality the amount of tips you earn is entirely up to you. Getting higher tips, on average, is all about having good customer service skills. If you can keep a smile on, learn the menu, and remember that "the customer always comes first," you'll quickly increase your tip income. Method 1 Method 1 of 3: Being the Best Server 1 Assist guests before they even get to your tables. Opening the door and greeting a guest also gives you a chance to check them in with the hostess. Knowing and using a guest's name is an important first step in creating a valuable repeat customer who may request your station when they return, and they usually tip much higher. This might not be possible on busy shifts. That said, you can still help your guests by having waters ready and at the table, for example, right before they sit down.[1] Checking in quickly to say "hello" or "welcome, as they sit down is a quick, small way to make a connection before the meal begins.[2] 2 Anticipate your guest's needs. If your table orders fries, you might be wise to bring ketchup (these are often called pre-sets or pre-drops). If your table orders messy food, bring extra napkins. Be a great waiter and anticipate their needs, don't make them ask. Keep an eye on the table whenever you pass by, and make a mental note of any pressing needs -- empty water glasses, dropped forks, etc. -- and step in when needed. 3 Do not pester your guests. Checking on them verbally every time you visit your section may backfire and become irritating. Your guest will let you know if they need anything when you are walking through. Providing refills, napkins, etc. will ensure that the only thing they should ask you for is the check. There is a fine line between anticipating needs and annoying your guests. To help, imagine that your guests are always in the middle of a very important conversation. They don't want this conversation to be broken up or interrupted unless completely necessary. Refilling waters quietly, placing silverware, etc. are fine, but stopping them to ask "if they need anything?" every 5 minutes will quickly grow old. 4 Make yourself seem approachable when taking orders. People will have questions, want to make substitutions, and may even want recommendations. When taking orders, stand close to the table, and even consider crouching slightly so that you're nearer to eye-level. In some studies the closer a waiter gets to the table, the higher their tips became. Ask kids and women for their orders first. This is basic, but most waiters and waitresses miss it. When you follow this basic cultural rule you will be amazed how the tips just seem to roll in. 5 Repeat the order exactly. Several studies have discovered that you earn more tips if you repeat the order of each guest exactly - not paraphrased. Your guests will then (unconsciously) think that you are similar to them and it will help to make a connection. This also shows lets them feel like they are being paid attention to, and assures them that they will be taken care. 6 Never let their drinks run out. This is so basic, but when not done well it can really hurt you financially. If you know they suck those things down, you might consider bringing them two at once. Don't feel the need to ask them for refills: if it gets low, bring another. When the whole table orders water, bringing extra doesn't hurt either.[3] 7 Have the check ready to deliver once you've sent for dessert, coffee, etc. Print their checks after you send the order, desserts, coffees, etc. and place in a check presenter. No guest wants to wait for their server to return with their check so it helps to always have it on the ready. One minute to a server may feel like five to a guest. Once the check is presented, don't disappear. When people get the check they're ready to leave, so you need to get it processed and finished to move them out the door. 8 Offer to box up their meal. Instead of bringing your guest a box, offer to do it for them. Some will say no, in which case you may bring a box for them, but this will really be going the extra mile and will help your case when it comes time to tip. Note: this is illegal in some states. - Make sure you know your employer's policies beforehand. 9 Be courteous and helpful to the bussers and cooks. You cannot earn your tips alone, and a chef with a grudge could always wait a little longer to cook your food if you've been rude to them. As a result, your table will be left to wait, and they'll likely pay you less in tips as a result. This is not just for restaurants where the entire staff splits tips. You should always be kind, courteous, and helpful with your staff -- as neither of you would have jobs without the other. SPONSORED Lose weight on your terms with Noom. Changing the way you eat starts with psychology. Backed by psychology, developed with your lifestyle in mind. Join half a million people learning to push past plateaus and build positive, long-lasting eating habits. TAKE THE QUIZ Method 2 Method 2 of 3: Making a Connection with Customers 1 Fall in love with your job. When you truly love being a server, it shows. You will become infectious with your good attitude and earn larger tips. People are proven to tip higher when they feel a social connection with their server, as if they could be friends. The best way to cultivate this attitude is to enjoy your work and interactions with others. A big, open-lipped smile can increase tips up to 140%.[4] 2 Look good and smell nice. Take some time to get presentable before arriving to work. A dirty waiter or waitress is unpleasant to look at and reflects poorly on you and the restaurant. Wash your apron and uniform, and make an effort to wear nice clothes when at work. While attractiveness hasn't been proven to increase tips for male waiters, effort and cleanliness definitely does. Women should wear a little basic make-up to earn more tips, as a French study showed that 50% more men left tips to waitresses wearing make-up than those wearing none. Unfortunately, more attractive women have been proven to get higher tips than less, but you should exploit this fact for your own benefit as well.[5] The same study found that adding a bit of personality to your outfit, like a flower or button, increased tips by roughly 15%. For women, this is particularly noticeable when wearing something in your hair.[6] 3 Introduce yourself. In order to build connections with customers, and thus increase your tips, be sure to let the table know your name. When you arrive, say hello and let them know your name before launching into the specials. Waitstaff who introduced themselves earned roughly $2 more per bill.[7] If the table offers you their names, be sure to remember them and use them. The best way to do this is when you get the check. When returning a credit or debit card, be sure to thank the name on the card when handing over the check -- it's been shown to increase tips.[8] 4 Give the customers a little something extra, like a mint or simple drawing. When people feel treated or gifted upon, they generally try to "pay back" the person being generous to them. Even writing a simple "Thank You" on the back of a check was shown to increase tips, and simple smiley faces and pictures help as well.[9] Being kind and generous during the meal can create the same effect. If someone spills something, or an order doesn't come out perfectly, you should offer to rectify the situation for them as best you can. 5 Learn to turn tables over. This is especially crucial when it is busy or the restaurant is filling up. While you should always be kind and courteous, you want people to eat, pay, and move on so that you can get a new table, and thus a new tip. To do this, come collect the dishes once everyone has finished eating, and ask about further courses (like dessert) instead of waiting for them to ask you.[10] Method 3 Method 3 of 3: Encouraging Bigger Bills 1 Become a product expert by knowing your menu back to front. Notice that when you meet a waiter or waitress that has tried everything on the menu, you tend to listen to their recommendations a lot more. If you want to earn more tips, make a decision to eat everything on the menu and then tell your tables what you enjoyed. They will appreciate it and tip you more. You should, at a minimum, be able to recommend 3-5 dishes that you've sampled and enjoy. You should also know any common allergens in each dish, as well as basic dietary restrictions (vegetarian or not, gluten-free, etc.)[11] Talk to the chefs about their recipes and food. They can offer you great little bits of information, such as drink pairings and where ingredients come from, that will make you seem all the more knowledgeable. 2 Sell more food. When you have higher check totals you get bigger tips. Offer appetizers, drinks and deserts by name. Use enticing and descriptive words like rich, creamy, smooth, spicy, etc. Offer your guest an after dinner espresso or cappuccino. This will warm them up and give them time to think about how great you are and what a giant tip they are going to leave you. You should always, at the very least, offer your guests dessert and/or coffee. Be politely assertive about the food, saying "let me bring you the dessert menu?" instead of "would you guys like to consider dessert?[12] 3 Use "suggestive selling" to help your guests make decisions. To up-sell, suggest an add on item, like a side of shrimp to accompany a steak or chicken in a salad. Helping a group pair food and wine is a great way to suggest that they get an expensive bottle with their meal. Be assertive with your suggestions. For example, it might cost extra to get cheese on a hamburger -- but you don't need to explain that. When someone orders a burger, simply ask, "and you'd like cheese on that?" This may be less productive for you during busy shifts. Adding $5 to a bill results in a small bump in tips, but getting a whole new group to sit down and spend $55 on dinner will result in higher tips overall.[13] 4 Manicure the table as people eat. When the beverage napkins get soggy, replace them. When they are finished with dishes, take them away. If they make a mess, politely help them clean it. People feel better in a clean, tidy environment, and are more likely to get more food if they don't see the scraps from their last course. If a dish is empty, politely ask if you can take it for them. Do not, however, take plates from anyone if someone is still eating. This makes the people still eating feel rushed. Get rid of small things quietly and efficiently. Try and sweep by and avoid distracting the group from their discussion as much as possible. Community Q&A Question How do I deal with a difficult customer Community Answer Try to be respectful and solve the problem. If you can't, get your manager. Question I've worked in the kitchen before, but not as a waitress. How can I be a good waitress? Community Answer You might be able to use your kitchen knowledge to earn your guests' trust. By knowing the methods behind the cooking, you will appear more professional. Question How do I not get overwhelmed by the pressure? Community Answer Take deep breaths, and try to focus on the tasks you need to complete. Ask another server for assistance if you need it! How much is fair pay for a medium quality restaurant, for a high school graduate with one year front desk experience? Community Answer Community Answer Just about everywhere will pay servers minimum wage or below, regardless of how experienced you are, since it is a tipped position. Waiters are expected to earn their wages almost entirely through tips. It's not fair, but that's the system in place at pretty much all restaurants. Not Helpful 15 Helpful 30 Question Can I wear a poodle skirt to work? Community Answer Community Answer That depends on your workplace's uniform requirements, but most restaurants would not allow it. Not Helpful 2 Helpful 7 Question How can I give my tables the attention they need while my side workload is increasing during a rush? Community Answer Community Answer Just try your hardest, and if that doesn't work you should ask for help on the job. Not Helpful 6 Helpful 15 Question What are some specific things I can say to customers that could lead to a conversation? Community Answer Community Answer Ask them what brings them out....typically they will tell you, visiting family, business or just out to celebrate or eat some breakfast/lunch/dinner. Get to know where they are from, compliment an article of clothing, and ask them where they bought it. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 2 Question How do I make a menu? Community Answer Community Answer Waiters/waitresses are not responsible for making menus, but if you wish to make a menu, you simply write down the foods/drinks available at the restaurant. (Wikihow)

How do I help someone with depression?

How to Help Someone with Depression Medically reviewed by Bethany Juby, PsyD — By Crystal Raypole — Updated on November 3, 2021 Recognizing symptoms How to help Things to avoid Handling a crisis Do you have a friend who's living with depression? You're not alone. According to the most recent estimates from the National Institute of Mental Health, just over 7 percentTrusted Source of all U.S. adults experienced an episode of major depression in 2019. The World Health Organization says, just under 300 millionTrusted Source adults and children live with depression. Recognizing depression symptoms in a loved one Not everyone experiences depression in the same way, and symptoms can vary. If your friend is experiencing depression, they may: seem more sad or tearful than usual appear more pessimistic than usual or hopeless about the future talk about feeling guilty, empty, or worthless more often than usual seem less interested in spending time together or communicate less frequently than they normally would get upset easily or seem unusually irritable have less energy than usual, move slowly, or seem generally listless have less interest in their appearance than usual or neglect basic hygiene, such as showering and brushing their teeth have trouble sleeping or sleep much more than usual care less about their usual activities and interests experience forgetfulness more often or have trouble concentrating or deciding on things eat more or less than usual talk about death or suicide How to help These 10 tips can help you be a source of support for a friend with depression. 1. Start a conversation Let your friend know you're there for them. You can start the conversation by sharing your concerns and asking a specific question. For example, you might say: "It seems like you've been having a hard time lately. What's on your mind?" "The last few times we hung out, you seemed a little down. Is there anything going on you that you'd like to talk about?" "You mentioned going through some hard times recently — how are you feeling about everything?" Keep in mind that your friend may want to talk about what they feel, but they might not want advice. Engage with your friend by using active listening techniques: Ask questions to get more information instead of assuming you understand what they mean. Validate their feelings. You might say, "That sounds really difficult. I'm sorry to hear that." Show empathy and interest with your body language. Your friend may not feel like talking the first time you ask, so it can help to continue telling them you care. Keep asking open questions (without being pushy) and expressing your concern. Try to have conversations in person whenever possible. If you live in different areas, try video chatting. 2. Help them find support Your friend may not be aware they're dealing with depression, or they may be unsure how to reach out for support. Even if they know therapy could help, it can be daunting to search for a therapist and make an appointment. If your friend seems interested in counseling, offer to help them review potential therapists. You can help your friend list things to ask potential therapists and things they want to mention in their first session. Encouraging them and supporting them to make that first appointment can be so helpful if they're having a hard time with it. 3. Support them in continuing therapy On a bad day, your friend might not feel like leaving the house. Depression can zap energy and increase the desire to self-isolate. If they say something like, "I think I'm going to cancel my therapy appointment," encourage them to stick with it. You might say, "Last week you said your session was really productive and you felt a lot better afterward. What if today's session helps, too?" The same goes for medication. If your friend wants to stop taking medication because of unpleasant side effects, be supportive, but encourage them to talk with their psychiatrist about switching to a different antidepressant or stopping their medication entirely. Abruptly stopping antidepressants without the supervision of a healthcare professional may have serious consequences. Typically, reaching out to a healthcare professional before stopping medication use can prevent health complications. 4. Take care of yourself When you care about someone who's living with depression, it's tempting to drop everything to be by their side and support them. It's not wrong to want to help a friend, but it's also important to take care of your own needs. If you put all your energy into supporting your friend, you'll have very little left for yourself. And if you're feeling burned out or frustrated, you won't be much help to your friend. Set boundaries Setting boundaries can help. For example, you might let your friend know you're available to talk after you get home from work, but not before then. If you're concerned about them feeling like they can't reach you, offer to help them come up with a contingency plan if they need you during your work day. This might involve finding a hotline they can call or coming up with a code word they can text you if they're in a crisis. You might offer to stop by every other day or bring a meal twice a week, instead of trying to help every day. Involving other friends can help create a bigger support network. Practice self-care Spending a lot of time with a loved one who has depression can take an emotional toll. Know your limits around difficult emotions, and make sure you take time to recharge. If you need to let your friend know you won't be available for a while, you might say something like, "I can't talk until X time. Can I check in with you then?" 5. Learn about depression on your own Imagine having to educate each person in your life about a mental or physical health condition you're experiencing — explaining it over and over again. Sounds exhausting, right? You can talk with your friend about their specific symptoms or how they're feeling, but avoid asking them to tell you about depression in general terms. Read up on the symptoms, causes, diagnostic criteria, and treatments on your own. While people experience depression differently, being familiar with the general symptoms and terminology can help you have more in-depth conversations with your friend. These articles are a good starting point: Depression: Facts, Statistics, and You Types of Depression and How to Recognize Them Causes of Depression What It's Really Like Going Through a Deep, Dark Depression 6. Offer to help with everyday tasks With depression, day-to-day tasks can feel overwhelming. Things like laundry, grocery shopping, or paying bills can begin to pile up, making it hard to know where to start. Your friend may appreciate an offer of help, but they also might not be able to clearly say what they need help with. So, instead of saying "Let me know if there's anything I can do," consider saying, "What do you most need help with today?" If you notice their refrigerator is empty, say "Can I take you grocery shopping, or pick up what you need if you write me a list?" or "Let's go get some groceries and cook dinner together." If your friend is behind on dishes, laundry, or other household chores, offer to come over, put some music on, and tackle a specific task together. Simply having company can make the work seem less daunting. 7. Extend loose invitations People living with depression may have a hard time reaching out to friends and making or keeping plans. But canceling plans can contribute to guilt. A pattern of canceled plans may lead to fewer invitations, which can increase isolation. These feelings can worsen depression. You can help reassure your friend by continuing to extend invitations to activities, even if you know they're unlikely to accept. Tell them you understand they may not keep plans when they're in a rough patch and that there's no pressure to hang out until they're ready. Just remind them you're happy to see them whenever they feel like it. 8. Be patient Depression usually improves with treatment, but it can be a slow process that involves some trial and error. They may have to try a few different counseling approaches or medications before they find one that helps their symptoms. Even successful treatment doesn't always mean depression goes away entirely. Your friend may continue to have symptoms from time to time. In the meantime, they'll probably have some good days and some bad days. Avoid assuming a good day means they're "cured," and try not to get frustrated if a string of bad days makes it seem like your friend will never improve. Depression doesn't have a clear recovery timeline. Expecting your friend to return to their usual self after a few weeks in therapy won't help either of you. 9. Stay in touch Letting your friend know you still care about them as they continue to work through depression can help. Even if you aren't able to spend a lot of time with them on a regular basis, check in regularly with a text, phone call, or quick visit. Even sending a quick text saying "I've been thinking of you and I care about you" can help. People living with depression may become more withdrawn and avoid reaching out, so you may find yourself doing more work to maintain the friendship. But continuing to be a positive, supportive presence in your friend's life may make all the difference to them, even if they can't express that to you at the moment. 10. Know the different forms depression can take Depression often involves sadness or a low mood, but it also has other, less well-known symptoms. For example, many people don't realize depression can involve: anger and irritability confusion, difficulties with memory, or difficulty focusing excessive fatigue or sleep concerns physical symptoms such as stomach distress, frequent headaches, or back and other muscle pain Your friend may often seem to be in a bad mood, or feel exhausted a lot of the time. Try to keep in mind that what they're feeling is still part of depression, even if it doesn't fit into the stereotypical versions of depression. Even if you don't know how to help them feel better, simply saying "I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I'm here to help if there's anything I can do" may help. BEZZY COMMUNITY Meet Bezzy for Depression, a community that cares Find encouragement and support through 1-1 messaging and advice from others dealing with major depressive disorder. FREE SIGN UP What to avoid 1. Taking things personally Your friend's depression isn't your fault, just as it's not their fault. Try not to let it get to you if they seem to lash out at you in anger or frustration, keep canceling plans (or forget to follow up), or don't want to do much of anything. You might, at some point, need a break from your friend. It's OK to take space for yourself if you feel emotionally drained, but it's also important to avoid blaming your friend or saying things that might contribute to their negative feelings. Instead, consider talking with a therapist or other supportive person about how you feel. 2. Trying to fix them Depression is a serious mental health condition that requires professional treatment. It can be hard to understand exactly what depression feels like if you've never experienced it. But it isn't something that can be cured with a few well-intentioned phrases like, "You should be grateful for the good things in your life" or "Just stop thinking about sad things." If you wouldn't say something to someone living with a physical condition, like diabetes or cancer, you probably shouldn't say it to your friend with depression. You can encourage positivity (though your friend may not respond) by reminding them of things you like about them — especially when it seems like they only have negative things to say. Positive support can let your friend know they do really matter to you. 3. Giving advice Though certain lifestyle changes often help improve symptoms of depression, it can be hard to make these changes in the midst of a depressive episode. You might want to help by offering advice, like getting more exercise or eating a balanced diet. But even if it's good advice, your friend may not want to hear it at the moment. There may come a time when your friend wants to find out what foods may help with depression or how exercise can relieve symptoms. Until then, though, it may be best to stick to empathic listening and avoid offering advice until asked. Encourage positive change by inviting them on a walk or cooking a nutritious meal together. 4. Minimizing or comparing their experience If your friend talks about their depression, you might want to say things like, "I understand," or "We've all been there." But if you've never dealt with depression yourself, this can minimize their feelings. Depression goes beyond simply feeling sad or low. Sadness usually passes fairly quickly, while depression can linger and affect mood, relationships, work, school, and all other aspects of life for months or even years. Comparing what they're going through to someone else's troubles or saying things like, "But things could be so much worse," generally doesn't help. Your friend's pain is what's real to them right now — and validating that pain is what may help them most. Say something like, "I can't imagine how hard that is to deal with. I know I can't make you feel better, but just remember you aren't alone." 5. Taking a stance on medication Medication can be very helpful for depression, but it doesn't work well for everyone. Some people dislike its side effects and prefer to treat depression with therapy or natural remedies. Even if you think your friend should take an antidepressant, remember that choosing to take medication is a personal decision. Likewise, if you personally don't believe in medication, avoid the subject when talking with them. For some people, medication is key in getting them to a place where they can fully engage in therapy and start taking steps toward recovery. At the end of the day, whether or not someone with depression takes medication is a very personal decision that's generally best left to them and their healthcare professional. When it's time to intervene Depression can increase a person's risk of suicide or self-injury, so it's helpful to know how to recognize the signs. Some signs that might indicate your friend is having serious suicidal thoughts include: frequent mood or personality changes talking about death or dying purchasing a weapon increased substance use risky or dangerous behavior getting rid of belongings or giving away treasured possessions talking about feeling trapped or wanting a way out pushing people away or saying they want to be left alone saying goodbye with more feeling than usual If you think your friend is considering suicide, urge them to call their therapist while you're with them or ask your friend if you can call for them. CRISIS SUPPORT They can also text "HOME" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Not in the United States? The International Association for Suicide Prevention can link you to hotlines and other resources in your country. You can also take your friend to an emergency room. If possible, stay with your friend until they no longer feel suicidal. Make sure they can't access any weapons or drugs. If you're concerned about your friend, you might worry that mentioning it to them could encourage suicidal thoughts. But it's generally helpful to talk about it. Ask your friend if they've seriously considered suicide. They may want to talk with someone about it but are unsure of how to bring up the difficult topic. Encourage them to talk with their therapist about those thoughts, if they haven't already. Offer to help them create a safety plan to use if they think they might act on those thoughts. Last medically reviewed on November 3, 2021 How we reviewed this article: SOURCES HISTORY Share this article READ THIS NEXT Not Sure What to Say to Someone with Depression? Here Are 7 Ways to Show Support Medically reviewed by Danielle Wade, LCSW Wondering what to say to someone with depression? Express your concern, listen, but avoid giving advice. Individuals with depression need to know... READ MORE 21 Questions to Ask When Your Partner Is Depressed Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD Managing mental illness, including depression, is different for every individual. And when a partner is depressed, it can have significant impact on a... READ MORE How Can I Get Help for Depression? Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD Depression can be debilitating for those that experience it. But there are many effective treatments available that can help you manage your symptoms. READ MORE 7 Physical Symptoms That Prove Depression Is Not Just 'In Your Head' Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD Depression hurts. And while we often pair this mental illness with emotional pain like sadness, crying, and feelings of hopelessness, research shows... READ MORE Mental Health Resources Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD Don't face mental health challenges alone. Instead, learn how to get the support you need to thrive. READ MORE What to Know About Ketamine Therapy for Depression Medically reviewed by Nicole Washington, DO, MPH Ketamine offers a new, fast-acting approach to relieving treatment-resistant depression. Learn the research-backed benefits and how to try it. READ MORE Unipolar Depression Explained — Plus Tips to Get Support Medically reviewed by Nicole Washington, DO, MPH Unipolar depression often refers to major depression, also called clinical depression. Learn the signs and how it compares to bipolar disorder. READ MORE New Study Debunks Old Theory That Depressed People Are Just More Realistic New research raises doubts about a decades-old theory that depressed people are more realistic. READ MORE Task Force Recommends Depression, Anxiety Screenings for Children A federal task force is recommending children between the ages of 8 and 18 be screened for anxiety while children 12 to 18 be screened for depression READ MORE More People May Experience Seasonal Affective Disorder This Year Experts theorize that a greater number of people may experience Seasonal Affective Disorder this year. Here's how to spot the signs. READ MORE Get our wellness newsletter Filter out the noise and nurture your inbox with health and wellness advice that's inclusive and rooted in medical expertise. SIGN UP Your privacy is important to us About Us Contact Us Terms of Use Privacy Policy Privacy Settings Advertising Policy Health Topics Medical Affairs Content Integrity Newsletters Do Not Sell My Info © 2005-2022 Healthline Media a Red Ventures Company. All rights reserved. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. See additional information. AboutCareersAdvertise with us OUR BRANDS Healthline Medical News Today Greatist Psych Central (Healthline)

No lo hice

I didn't do it

How do I make good tips as a waiter?

How to Make Good Tips As a Waiter Author Info Last Updated: September 15, 2021 References The best thing about being a waiter is walking out of work each day with cash in your pocket. Tips can be a wonderful thing, but they're not always easy to come by. Here is how to get the best tips possible while waiting tables. Steps 1 Remember you are there to serve the customer. As a server, in order to get big fat tips the first thing that we must remember is that we are there to serve. Let the needs of the customer guide you through your table service. Do what they need and ask and you will be rewarded handsomely.[1] 2 Be quick. Speed is essential to get good tips. The faster we can fulfill the wish of a guest, the happier they will be, and that's what it's all about isn't it? Making our guests happy? Yes it is! If they ask for something, do it immediately. Drop whatever it is you are doing and reply to the request. Do not worry that your bladder is full to aching and you have not had time to go to the restroom for six hours. If table seven demands more bread, do it right away! Your wallet will thank you later.[2] 3 Always smile. Customers need to think you are enjoying waiting on them. It is important that you hide any disdain you may have for them because it will surely affect your tip. Plaster a big fake smile on your face and keep it there the whole time you are wearing your apron. You might want to try putting Vaseline on your teeth because it will remind you to keep that happy expression. Hey, if it works for Miss America, it can work for you, so smile darn ya, smile![3] 4 Write down your order. Customers tend to think that we servers are ignorant and incapable of doing anything else with our lives, despite many of us having advanced college degrees. If you write down the order, the guest will have confidence that their order will come out the way they wanted it. Even if they only ask for a house salad with ranch dressing, at least pretend to write it down on your pad. Simply scribble a note or a doodle or maybe even something like, "Oh man, this guy thinks I'm stupid." The customer will see you diligently writing in your pad and take note of it. 5 Never disagree with your customer. The customer is always right in every single possible situation known to mankind and cannot ever under any circumstances ever in a million years be wrong. It just is not possible. If they tell you that their food took 45 minutes to get to them and you know that it only took 18 because you can look at the computer to see when you rang it in, just nod your head, smile and agree. Apologize for being such a poor wretch of a human being and then offer them a complimentary dessert.[4] 6 Do not touch the guests. You should never touch your guest. Even though there are studies that have shown that by gently touching a customer on the shoulder when giving them their change and thanking them they will give you a slightly higher tip do not do it. in this day and age, someone can easily misconstrue that touch as something inappropriate.[5] On the other hand, if a customer touches you, let them, if it is something you are comfortable with. Simply laugh and say "what can I get you?" If you show that you did not like a perfect stranger getting into your personal space, they may find that reason enough to give you less of a tip and we do not want that. However, depending on the nature of the touch, you may find that it is not worth the extra tip. Your call. 7 Remember tipping is subjective. If you follow all of these steps, there should be no reason that you won't receive a 20% from your table. Tipping is subjective though, so don't be surprised if instead of a monetary tip you receive a verbal one like, "You were the best waiter I have ever had!" or "I want to write a letter to your manager about how great you were!" These are called "lip tips." Community Q&A Question How can I be a good waiter? Community Answer Be friendly and quick. Don't forget about people, and make sure you hear them, so you know what they want. Question It's my first time being a waiter. How do I open a table without making a mistake? Community Answer It's unlikely that you'll be able to avoid any mistakes whatsoever, so the best thing to do is just to relax and have fun with it. Treat your guests like friends instead of spending so much time panicking about being the perfect waiter. Think of how you would want to be treated at a restaurant and try to provide that experience for your table. Question How do I ask for a tip if they didn't leave one? Community Answer Ask if they enjoyed the food or drinks, and if you can get them anything else before they go. It is not polite to ask for a tip. See more answers Tips If you get a penny as a tip, this is the customers way of saying that you did not deserve any tip at all. Take the penny and put it in your loafer for good luck! No one knows for sure that "tips" stands for "To Insure Prompt Service." Customers will swear up and down that it's truth, but it may or may not be. Just accept it as truth and be prompt. Being rude and slow to the customers won't get you a tip. Never complain to a customer about a bad tip. It is grounds for firing at most restaurants. Rest assured that karma will come around get that cheap customer eventually. It isn't worth losing your job over. (Wikihow)

How do I move out quickly?

How to Move Out Quickly GETTING ORGANIZED PACKING YOUR BELONGINGS QUESTIONS & ANSWERS TIPS AND WARNINGS THINGS YOU'LL NEED RELATED ARTICLES REFERENCES ARTICLE SUMMARY Co-authored by Marty Stevens-Heebner, SMM-C, CPO® and Amy Bobinger Last Updated: November 3, 2022 References Download Article Moving is stressful enough in any situation, but it can feel downright chaotic if you find yourself needing to relocate in a hurry. First, take a few deep breaths and focus on making a plan—being organized will help the move go more smoothly, even if you don't have much time. Most of all, try not to stress too much. Before you know it, you'll be settling into your new place, making it feel like home. Method 1 Method 1 of 2: Getting Organized Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 1 1 Make a detailed to-do list of everything you need to do. You might just want to jump right into packing boxes, but if you don't have a plan, you might accidentally forget something important. To keep yourself on-task through the whole move, write down everything you need to remember to do. Cross off things as you accomplish them so it will be easy to see what you haven't gotten to yet.[1] Think about other ways you can organize your move, too. For example, you might use white trash bags for items you want to take with you, and black bags for garbage. That way, you won't accidentally throw away something you need—or accidentally bring trash to your new place. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 2 2 Collect boxes and other moving supplies. Your move will go more smoothly if you get all of your boxes and supplies together before you start packing. Stop by any store that sells office supplies to pick up things like packing tape, markers or labels for your boxes, and packing materials like bubble wrap or newspaper. If you don't want to buy boxes, try visiting liquor stores, grocery stores, and other shops in your area to see if they have any extras. Try to use things you already have on hand as packing supplies, as well.[2] For instance, trash bags are great for packing clothes in a hurry—just slide the bag over the clothes and wrap the handles around the hanger hooks. If the clothes are folded, just pile them in the bags! Sandwich bags are excellent for packing smaller items like jewelry, screws, makeup, and more. Pack clothes, books, and other smaller items in suitcases and duffle bags. If you don't have packing materials like bubble wrap or newspapers, use things like towels and blankets for wrapping breakable items. Advertisement Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 3 3 Set up a specific packing station. Choose an out-of-the-way place where you can set up your packing supplies, like a corner of your living room or an empty bedroom you don't use often. Assemble your boxes ahead of time, then bring items to the packing station to box them up.[3] This is typically more efficient than moving your boxes, tape, and packing materials from room to room. If you find that going back and forth takes too long, you can put all of your packing materials in one box, then move that box and your packing boxes to each room as you pack it. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 4 4 Arrange for any vehicles or movers you'll be using. If you'll be using professional movers, contact them as soon as you know you're moving. If it's super short notice, you might have to contact several companies to find someone who's free on the day you need to move. If you're moving on your own, consider renting a truck if you don't have one—you can get a moving truck if you need to transport everything in one trip, but if you'll be moving locally, a pickup truck might do the trick.[4] You can also rent a transportable storage unit, which will give you the opportunity to pack at your own pace. The company will then move the pod to your new home when you're ready. If you can't take all of your belongings with you, rent a storage unit where you can store your things. It might help your move go faster if you rent a cart or dolly from a moving company so you can easily move large furniture and stacks of boxes. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 5 5 Ask family and friends if they can help. No matter how fast you go, there's only so much one person can do. If it's possible, reach out to your family and friends and ask them if they'd be available to help you move. Just keep in mind that you'll need to be responsible for organizing any help you have, so before moving day, try writing out a list of what tasks you want each person to help with.[5] For instance, you might ask one person to help you pack your dishes, while someone else could help you pack up your bedroom. Advertisement Method 2 Method 2 of 2: Packing Your Belongings Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 6 1 Pack one room at a time. Working on one room at a time helps keep the packing process feel more manageable. It's also easier to stay organized, so you're less likely to end up scrambling to find your items.[6] For instance, you might start by packing your living area, then your kitchen, then your bedroom, and finally your bathroom. Pack similar items together. For example, pack first aid and medical supplies together in one box, and make sure to put all of your utensils in another box.[7] This will also make it easier to unpack, since everything that goes in the same vicinity will already be grouped together. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 7 2 Leave behind anything you don't want to keep. When you're moving in a hurry, try not to move things that you don't really need. You might not have time to sort through every single thing you own—that's totally fine! However, do take a little time to look around and see if there's anything on hand that you can donate, sell, or throw away to speed up the packing process. A good rule of thumb is that if you haven't used an item in the past 6 months, you probably don't need it.[8] Keep extra bags or boxes on hand for things you find that you want to donate, trash, or sell while you're packing. Sell your furniture and large appliances, if possible. You won't have to worry about moving it, and you can use the money to buy new things once you get to your new home. Remember, you can keep sorting through your items once you get into your new place, so don't stress too much if you need to just pack everything up and go. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 8 3 Set aside any essentials you'll need for the first few days. Use a suitcase, clothes hamper, or clear container to hold the things you'll need as you're settling into your new home. Fill it with a few changes of clothing, sheets, towels, toiletries, and anything else you think you might need.[9] You might also include things like paper plates, plastic forks, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, dish towels, and a simple tool kit in case you need to assemble anything when you get to your new place.[10] Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 9 4 Don't worry too much about organizing boxes. In an ideal situation, you'd pack all of your like items together, but when you're packing up fast, it might take too much time. Put things into boxes or bags as you come across them, and focus more on protecting your fragile items than worrying about what's packed in which box. There will be time to organize everything when you unpack in your new space. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 10 5 Wrap fragile items so they don't get broken. To help protect your items during the move, wrap anything fragile in a padded material like bubble wrap. Or, for a cheaper option, wrap individual dishes in sheets of newspaper or packing paper, then fill in the gaps in the box with more balled-up paper.[11] In a pinch, you could even use clothes or towels to cushion your breakables. Don't leave open space in boxes containing fragile items. If the box shifts during the moves, the fragile objects could bump into each other and break. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 11 6 Leave folded clothes in dresser drawers so it will be easier to move them. There's no need to move all your clothes out of your dresser into boxes, only to transfer them back again after the move. Instead, save time by keeping your clothes in the dresser drawers. If you're concerned about drawers shifting open, try wrapping each drawer in plastic wrap to ensure nothing can fall out. In addition, when you're packing hanging clothes, it's easiest if you just leave them on the hangers! Either place them flat in the back of your vehicle, put them in garbage bags with the hangers sticking out, or stack them in wardrobe boxes. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 12 7 Label or color-code your boxes. As you fill each box, label it with the room that it will go into in your new home. If you're writing on the box, be sure to write on the top and at least two sides, so you'll be able to see the label from different angles.[12] Be sure to write "Fragile" on boxes containing breakable items. However, those boxes should still be packed protectively to avoid any accidental breaks. Image titled Move Out Quickly Step 13 8 Unpack at your own pace once you're in your new home. Once the last box is off the truck, take a nice, deep breath—you've done it! Now, unpacking isn't exactly fun, but at least you don't have to feel rushed anymore. Everything you need right away should be available in the containers you set aside for your first night, so you have plenty of time to get settled into your new place. It's a good idea to unpack the same way you packed—going one room at a time. Try starting with your bedroom so you'll have a cozy place to sleep while you get the rest of your place set up! Advertisement Community Q&A Question How do you move in a hurry? Marty Stevens-Heebner, SMM-C, CPO® Marty Stevens-Heebner, SMM-C, CPO® Professional Move Manager Expert Answer Make sure you have help. Identify the items that you will need immediately. That's the "open me first" box and probably a couple of other boxes, with towels, toiletries, your bed linen and other necessities. And also pack anything large. Generally speaking, your apartment or home doesn't fall off a cliff as soon as you move. You can go back to it for things. But if you need to go back for things, you want them to be small — things you can transport in your car. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 1 Question What if I have to move the next day and I've barely packed? Community Answer Community Answer Get heavy duty contractor bags and put as much as you can in them. If your possessions are unlikely to break, just throw them in there. Grab and go! Not Helpful 3 Helpful 24 Question What if I don't have a bag or a box and I move tomorrow? Community Answer Community Answer If using a car, just take what you need, and if its clothing or the like, fold it as tightly and neatly as you can. Find something to hold small items, and wrap fragile things in blankets or towels. Big things may require assistance. If you have a moving van, most offer help with loading and unloading. It's also usually pretty cheap to get trash bags or cardboard boxes. Not Helpful 2 Helpful 12 See more answers Ask a Question Submit Monument - Online Alcohol Counseling & Treatment Drinking less is just the beginning. You deserve the emotional and physical benefits of sobriety or moderation, and they are within reach with Monument. GET STARTED Advertisement Tips If you have large rugs to move, roll them up and tape them securely.[13] Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0 (Wikihow)

How do I move out of my parents' house?

How to Move Out of Your Parents' House Experts weigh in on how to get financially ready to move out of your parents' house. By Emma Kerr May 26, 2022 Save More U.S. News & World Report More Flatmates moving in college dorm. They are unpacking boxes. If you're ready to take the next step, start by considering what psychological barriers might be stopping you and seek help from friends, family or even a professional counselor to work through those things. (GETTY IMAGES) The portion of Americans living in multigenerational homes has continued to rise in recent years, and the trend "shows no sign of peaking" according to the Pew Research Center. A new analysis published in March indicates nearly a third of young adults ages 25 to 29 live in multigenerational households, often in their parents' home. Young men are more often living in multigenerational households - 37% of young men in this age group compared with 26% of young women report living in a multigenerational household. Living at home can be a practical decision made for financial struggles, health issues, caregiving responsibilities or other considerations. It can also be an emotional choice, with most adults reporting it is mostly or always rewarding to live in a multigenerational home. However, living at home can also be a cause of stress. If finances are what's keeping you at home, follow these steps to manage your money and move out of your parents' home: Address any mental barriers. Build an emergency fund. Check your credit score. Create a budget. Account for commonly overlooked costs. Make a plan for debt repayment. Talk with your parents. [ READ: Should You Rent or Buy a Home? ] Address Any Mental Barriers The comforts of home call to us all from time to time, but some young adults might find themselves sticking around for reasons that aren't just financial. After a traumatizing year marked by a public health crisis and economic downturn, it makes sense to seek the safety and familiarity of home. "There's a lot of psychology involved and behaviors that need to be addressed before someone can be ready to move out," says Brendan Sheehan, managing director and owner of Waymark Wealth Management in Massachusetts. "If they're not being charged rent, paying for the utilities, the groceries, they've got their parents cooking for them and doing laundry for them, it's not very appealing to leave the house." If you're ready to take the next step, start by considering what psychological barriers might be stopping you and seek help from friends, family or even a professional counselor to work through those things. Build an Emergency Fund Start building up your savings in the early stages of moving out. The last thing you want once you do successfully move out of your parents' home is to end up moving back after facing an unexpected expense. "Once you come up with those goals, quantify what they entail," Sheehan says. "If the goal is to find housing, build up a down payment to reach that 20% or come up with your regular six- to 12-month emergency fund to pay for the rent and a security deposit," he says. "Don't be stuck in neutral just because you're at home." Living at home can be a great opportunity for young adults to build up their savings before facing a barrage of electric bills, rent payments, grocery costs, repair costs and other expenses that go along with renting or homeownership. Take advantage of this time to accumulate funds in a liquid, easily accessible savings account. Check Your Credit Score Whether renting or buying, a credit score check is a near-universal requirement. Those who haven't been taking steps to build a positive credit history should start as soon as possible. Experts say individuals preparing for a move should check their credit score before starting the housing search. If it's low, consider measures to build up your credit, like fixing any credit report errors, and quick-fix strategies like a rapid rescore. [ READ: What Is an Excellent Credit Score? ] Create a Budget Go back to basics with a simple budget. Determine your average monthly take-home income, then estimate expenses and research housing costs in your area. Resources like budget apps and spreadsheet templates can help. "You can't spend more than you make. Budgeting is not complicated, so just watch those numbers and think about cutting costs," says Ramona Ortega, founder and CEO of My Money My Future. Additionally, she says in the post-pandemic period, many professionals who continue to work from home may consider relocating to a lower-cost area, such as a smaller city or suburb. Plus, don't forget to budget for the one-time costs associated with moving. These might include a moving truck, boxes, move-in fees common at some apartment buildings, the cost of new furniture and beyond. Account for Commonly Overlooked Costs Experts say it's important to remember those additional costs outside of rent or a mortgage that will pop up. Whether it's electricity and Wi-Fi or property taxes, leave a bit of padding in your budget for these extra costs. A budget should also include a savings plan, such as creating an emergency fund for unanticipated costs. Make a Plan for Debt Repayment Millennials and Gen Zers are likely to have some sort of student loan debt. This debt can delay common financial fundamentals like investing and saving, as well as moving out, but it doesn't have to be prohibitive. "I know people don't want to be walking around with the heavy burden of that debt, but it's also important to start investing and saving," Ortega says. "The 50/20/30 budget is one we promote, so if you have 20% going to savings or paying down debt, then take 5% of that to invest and 15% to pay down your student loans." The 50/20/30 rule is a common strategy for setting budget benchmarks that suggests individuals spend 50% of after-tax income on needs, such as rent, 30% on wants and 20% on savings. "Everyone has to figure out their numbers - I don't think there's a number to fit everyone - but have a plan where a small portion of your savings go toward investing because if you let too much time go by, you will be late in the game," Ortega says. Another option to pay down debt might be refinancing to receive lower monthly payments, which will also require a credit score. Talk With Your Parents Begin communicating your plan with your family. In some cases, young adults living at home may be acting as a caregiver for family members or providing financial help, so it's important to make a plan together. Parents may also be able to provide support, such as offering a low-interest loan or co-signing a lease, during the period of transition from living at home to living on your own. (Usnews.com)

How do I save someone who is drowning?

How to Save an Active Drowning Victim Co-authored by Brad Hurvitz and Hannah Madden Last Updated: November 14, 2022 References Approved Download Article A day at the pool or beach can be a very relaxing activity. However, if you see someone drowning, that can transform your day into a scary experience. If you are going to be near water, it is a good idea to think about what you would do if you see an active drowning victim who is struggling. By learning basic life support and rescue techniques, you can help the person in trouble and keep them out of danger while swimming. Method 1 Method 1 of 3: Identifying an Active Drowning Victim 1 Practice scanning and observing the water. When you are near water, it is smart to get in the habit of surveying your surroundings. The first step in helping a drowning victim is being able to spot someone in trouble. Lifeguards call surveillance of the area "scanning and observing".[1] To scan and observe, you should spend a few seconds every couple of minutes looking around your area. Look at the water, and also look at the pool deck or beach. Keep your eyes out for people in distress, or in potentially risky situations. For example, if there is someone swimming far from shore in choppy waters, you'll want to keep a close watch on them. Keep your eye out for the elderly and young swimmers. This is especially important if there are children with you, or others who are not strong swimmers. 2 Recognize the physical signs of drowning. Active drowning means that the person is in the process of drowning. They will be impaired due to inhalation of water. There are several things to look for to determine whether someone is actively drowning, including:[2] Active drowning can begin within 20 seconds of the person being in distress. An active drowning victim will not be able to call for help. While an active drowning victim might still be vertical in the water, they will be unable to move towards help or safety. Active drowning victims will not be able to wave for assistance or reach for equipment. Once drowning has begun, the victim cannot voluntarily control his arm movements. Active drowning victims typically struggle on the surface for 20-60 seconds before being submerged. Active drowning victims will have their heads tilted back so their mouth and nose is above water, this is an instinct. 3 Keep an eye out for other problems. There are many other types of problems that can occur in swimmers. Make sure you are aware of different signs so that you can accurately assess the situation. For example, a distressed swimmer is a person who may have become tired or suffered a cramp. They may call out for help and may appear to be flailing.[3] A passive drowning victim is someone who is unconscious in the water. Assume the person needs medical attention and call for help. A tired swimmer might be using short, weak strokes and appear to be looking for something to cling to. They might call for assistance. 4 Shout for help along the shore. If you do decide to get into the water and help the victim, let someone know before you go in. You can either tell a fellow lifeguard or swimmers nearby so they can keep an eye out for the both of you.[4] Bystanders may also be able to help with the rescue if you're struggling. If the drowning victim is unconscious, have someone call for emergency services right away. 5 Prepare to reach the victim. Once you have determined that you are looking at an active drowning victim, get ready to reach the person. Based on your scanning and observing, you should be able to tell whether you need to go in the water or whether you can offer assistance from land. Take any tools you need, such as a flotation device, life vest, or pole.[5] Do not attempt a rescue unless you are a strong swimmer and know what you are doing. If you are a weak swimmer, you can put both yourself and the drowning victim in danger. The assistance of a flotation device even if you are a strong swimmer is important. Most professional lifeguards carry some sort of flotation device. Method 2 Method 2 of 3: Performing a Rescue 1 Bring a safety tool along with you. Before you attempt a rescue, you need to make sure that you are not putting yourself in danger. It is a good idea to remember a phrase used by lifeguards: "Reach, Throw, Row, Go with Support". This means that you should always utilize safety tools to aid in the rescue.[6] Make sure to always take a flotation device with you. You will need it in case you encounter problems, or you become tired. You may also need it to support the victim. If possible, use a rescue tube. These devices are the easiest to utilize while performing a rescue. 2 Reach the person from land if you can. If the drowning victim is nearby, you may be able to use equipment to reach them. For example, almost all swimming pools have a tool called a shepherd's crook hanging on a wall or fence. The shepherd's crook is a long, thin pole that has a loop at one end.[7] If you have experience using this tool, it is possible that you can extend the pole and aim the loop so it surrounds the victim. You can then pull the victim to shore. Do not attempt to loop the victim if you are unfamiliar with this process. You might inadvertently cause more panic. 3 Perform a rear approach rescue if you need to swim. If possible, you should always approach an active drowning victim from behind. You may need to swim underwater and come up behind the victim to make this happen. As you perform the rescue, you want the victim to keep the shore in sight. For this reason, it's better to approach from the rear and propel them with you towards the shore.[8] Victims often begin to panic even more if they are turned away from the shore, which can cause them to drown faster. Remember that the victim cannot control their arm movements. Therefore, do not waste time saying things such as "grab on". 4 Support the victim with your flotation device. This will make it easier for you to safely swim to shore. Place the victim on the rescue tube or other flotation device, and ask the victim to help you kick if you need it.[9] To do this, approach the victim from behind and put your arms under their armpits, grab their shoulders and flip them on to you keeping your head to the side and out of harm's way. Your rescue tube should be under your arms and between you and the victim. Try to calm them by telling them who you are, and that you are here to help. Before you find yourself in an emergency situation, it is a good idea to practice this movement. In the safety of a pool, ask a friend or family member to volunteer to be your practice buddy. Practice swimming from behind and firmly lifting the "victim" onto the tube. 5 Tow the victim to shore. Once the victim is on the device, you need to get them back to land. Wrap your arm around their waist and begin to swim to shore using a sidestroke.[10] As you tow your victim, make sure you keep an eye on them. You want to make sure they remain safely on the flotation device. If necessary, pause to reposition them so they are stable. If the flotation device is easy to grasp, you can pull the victim to shore by holding onto the device and towing that while you swim. 6 Care for the victim once they're safe. Once you have reached shore, you need to continue to help the victim. If you have not already, call for medical help. It is very likely that the victim will still be having difficulty breathing, due to the water inhalation. Be sure to use ABC to check the person's airway, breathing, and circulation. First, check their airway by looking into their mouth and throat to see if you see anything lodged in it. Then, check to see if they are breathing and check for a pulse.[11] Place your ear next to the victim's mouth to listen for breathing. You can also look at their chest to see if it is rising and falling due to breathing. If you cannot see or hear breathing, check their pulse. Place your two first fingers on the wrist or neck and hold them there for 10 seconds. If you cannot detect a pulse, begin CPR. Place the heel of your hand in the center of their chest, in line with the nipples. Make sure not to press on the ribs. Begin chest compression by pressing down at the rate of at least 100 pulses per minute. Complete 30 compressions, make sure the chest is going all the way down and coming back up. There is a high chance of breaking their ribs, so be prepared for that. Check for breathing. If they are not breathing, start CPR again. It is very important to take CPR classes through your local Red Cross so that you can practice this technique. Method 3 Method 3 of 3: Practicing General Water Safety 1 Strengthen your swimming skills. It is important to remember that only extremely competent swimmers should attempt rescues. If you do not know what you are doing, it is possible you could make the situation worse, despite your best intentions. If you are going to be near water, or plan to be, it's a great idea to take an advanced swimming course. Check with sources such as your local YMCA for options.[12] Before you find yourself in this situation, make sure that you are aware of your own swimming skills. Don't attempt a rescue if you cannot easily swim 50 yards doing a breaststroke or front crawl. You must be a strong swimmer and confident in your swimming skills. Make sure that you are capable of treading water for at least 2 minutes without struggling. Some protocols state that you should be able to tread 2 minutes in the water with a 10 lb weight. If you cannot do this, it is unlikely you are a strong enough swimmer to conduct a successful rescue. 2 Practice caution. Accidents happen, and it is certainly not possible to ensure that drowning incidents don't occur. However, there are many steps you can take to reduce the likelihood. By practicing caution and observing general safety rules, you can help keep those around you safe. For example, make sure that when you are near water that you have a flotation device with you.[13] If possible, take a cell phone with you to the pool or beach so that you can call for help if necessary. Immediately after assessment point to someone and tell them to call EMS immediately. Make sure that people who aren't strong swimmers have a life vest to wear. Be aware of your surroundings. Even if you do not plan to swim, know that accidents can happen even when you are on the shoreline or by the side of a pool. Watch for people falling in the water accidentally. 3 Swim in designated areas. It is always best to swim with a lifeguard on duty. This is important for everyone, even strong swimmers. If you are going to be swimming in a pool, look for one with a regular lifeguard. You can also find beaches that employ lifeguards.[14] Do not go in natural bodies of water if the conditions are unfavorable. For example, do not go in a lake if it is especially windy and the waves are strong. You should avoid going in the ocean when the tides are aggressive. Many beaches post signs or flags advising you of conditions. Do not swim if a warning is posted. 4 Teach children the rules. While anyone can drown, children are especially susceptible. If you have kids, make sure that you teach them to act responsibly around water. Have a set of rules for family swim excursions, and make sure that your children understand them.[15] Supervise children at all times when they're around water.[16] For example, you could implement the buddy system. Make sure that your child knows that they are never allowed to swim alone or without supervision. If you are going out on a boat, take life vests that are child-sized. Children can learn to swim as early as 1 year old. It's an excellent idea to begin swim lessons early.[17] EXPERT TIP BRAD HURVITZ Certified Survival Swimming Instructor Make sure you're supervising children at all times when they're around water. If you're somewhere with a pool, make sure there's a fence with a locked gate around the pool so children don't accidentally fall in. It's also a good idea to enroll infants in swim lessons so they can learn what to do if they ever fall in the water. What if the person is far away? Chris M. Matsko, MD Family Medicine Physician Expert Answer If there is an active drowning victim out of reach of those trying to help, throw a flotation device to the individual so they can grab onto something. Question What If I can't reach them or if they can't reach me? Chris M. Matsko, MD Family Medicine Physician Expert Answer If there is an active drowning victim who is out of reach, throw a flotation device to them. Tips Do not try to rescue a victim if you cannot swim yourself. It would not be helpful to the victim or safe for you if you try to rescue a victim without knowing how to swim. Get help or throw a flotation device to the victim. (Wikihow)

How do I solve riddles?

How to Solve Riddles Author Info Last Updated: April 29, 2022 References Download Article Riddles can help sharpen the mind and open up new thought processes. Practicing riddles each day can help simplify thinking, provide better memory retention and improve cognitive capabilities. Even challenging riddles can be solved if you use a few simple techniques. Part 1 Part 1 of 4: Learning How Riddles Work 1 Know the basic types of riddles. There are two basic types of riddles: enigmas and conundrums. Both are often framed as a dialogue between the riddle asker (often the riddle's solution) and the riddle answerer. Enigmas are posed as problems using metaphorical, allegorical, or associational language that require creativity and experience to answer. For example: "If the sun sets, a flower-garden; but if you look at it after dawn, an empty garden. What is it?" (Answer: the sky.)[1] Conundrums are posed as questions that incorporate puns in the question, the answer, or both. For example: "What flowers can be found between the nose and chin?" (Answer: Tulips/"Two lips")[2] 2 Understand the rules of riddles. Most riddles deal with very familiar topics. Their difficulty comes in how those topics are described. Riddles often create a pattern of associations in order to direct you to the answer. For example, a popular riddle from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit goes: "Thirty white horses on a red hill, / First they champ, / Then they stamp, / Then they stand still."[3] This riddle uses familiar ideas (horses, hills) to figuratively express the answer (in this case, "teeth.") 3 Know that riddles might attempt to confuse you. Seemingly logical associations may really be misdirection. The correct answer may be so obvious that you initially dismiss it. Red herrings are a common form of misdirection through association, as seen in this riddle: "A green man lives in the green house. A blue man lives in the blue house. A red man lives in the red house. Who lives in the white house?" The immediate answer, given the pattern set up, would be "a white man," but the "White House" is a red herring: the President of the United States lives in the White House! A traditional African riddle asks: "How do you eat an elephant?" (Answer: one bite at a time.) This riddle is a good example of an answer being hidden in plain sight. Other "riddles" are not true riddles at all. For example, this traditional Yiddish riddle asks: "What hangs on a wall, is green, wet, and whistles?" The answer is "a herring" because you can hang a herring on a wall and paint a herring green. If the herring has been freshly painted, it is wet. The joke is that it really doesn't whistle -- there's intentionally no solution to this riddle.[4] SPONSORED eharmony was named the world's #1 most trusted dating app for a reason. Of all dating apps, users said that eharmony has the highest quality dating pool. Start finding matches for free, today. Over the course of our 20+ years in the relationship business, millions of people have found love on eharmony...could you be next? Give us a try when you're ready for something real. JOIN FOR FREE Part 2 Part 2 of 4: Sharpening Your Analytical Skills 1 Solve puzzles daily. Solving puzzles requires you to combine what you already know with new information from the puzzle. Just like riddles, puzzles ask you to use existing knowledge and context clues to come up with an original, often tricky answer.[5] Puzzles can help you learn to recognize patterns and order.[6] Puzzle games such as Tetris, as well as traditional jigsaw puzzles, require you to look at a situation in multiple ways to figure out the best solution. This process transfers well into solving riddles, too. Specific types of puzzles and games are best at developing specific types of skills. Though, if you do a lot of crossword puzzles, you'll probably get very good at crossword puzzles, but you may not see equivalent gains in other areas. It's helpful to play a variety of games instead of focusing on only one type.[7] 2 Alternate your brain games regularly. The more you repeat a certain type of task, the less effort your brain needs to expend to perform it. Regularly alternating the types of games you play will help keep your brain from taking shortcuts.[8] 3 Try reading and then summarizing something complex. For example, you could read a complex news story and then write a short summary that boils down all the ideas into a few key ideas. Research suggests that this will help you look at the "big picture" as well as the details, a skill that also comes in handy when solving riddles.[9] Rephrasing ideas into your own words may also help you develop linguistic flexibility and improve memory. It's easier to remember ideas when you've taken the time to paraphrase them, because your brain has had to work to structure the ideas so that it understands them. Part 3 Part 3 of 4: Practicing on Riddles You Know 1 Reverse-engineer some famous riddles. You may find it helpful to start with some riddles for which you already know the answer. There are many collections of riddles online and in books that you can use to practice on. 2 Work backwards from the solution and try to figure out how the riddle works. Riddles tend to assume that the answer should already be known; part of the fun of a riddle is seeing whether you can stump someone by asking them about something they don't know that they know. Although the wording itself may be tricky, the solution is usually something familiar. For example, a famous enigma in Sophocles' play Oedipus the King asks, "What goes on four feet in the morning, two feet at noon, and three feet in the evening?" The answer is "a person": a baby crawls when it is young (morning), walks upright when it is an adult (noon), and has to use a cane when it is old (evening).[10] 3 Start by breaking down the riddle into parts. With the Oedipus enigma, a good place to start might be the "feet," since they're repeated throughout the riddle. What has four feet? What has two feet? What has three feet? What has four feet? Many animals have four feet, so that's a possible answer. Tables and chairs also have four feet, and they're common things too, so keep those in mind. What has two feet? People seem an obvious choice here, since humans are familiar and they have two feet. Chairs and tables don't have two feet, so they're probably not the answer. What has three feet? This is the tricky part. Animals don't usually have three feet unless one has been taken away. However, if the animal started with four feet and then went to two feet, it wouldn't re-grow a third foot. That means that we're probably looking at the third foot as a kind of tool: something that has been added. What uses tools? A person is the most familiar answer, so this might be the target. 4 Think about the actions in the riddle. We only get one verb in this enigma, "goes." So we know whatever the solution is, it's capable of going somewhere. This might mean that it goes because something else makes it go (like a car), so don't make up your mind just yet. Maintaining an open mind is crucial for solving riddles. 5 Consider any other information in the riddle. The other information in the Oedipus enigma is the problem of time. The riddle gives you "morning," "noon," and "evening" as the times when the actions happen. Because the riddle begins in the morning and ends in the evening, it seems likely that the riddle is asking about something that happens across the progress of time from beginning to end. Be careful to avoid over-literal thinking when considering riddles. They are almost always figurative; "noon" might not mean "12:00 PM" so much as the "middle" of something. 6 Combine the actions in the riddle with your potential solutions. Now you can begin narrowing down the possible solutions by eliminating what you know doesn't work. Chairs and tables can't "go" on their own feet. That makes them unlikely solutions. A person has multiple feet, they can "add" more feet by using tools like canes and crutches, and they can "go" somewhere on their feet. Even if you don't quite know how the feet work together with time yet, "person" seems like a solid solution. Part 4 Part 4 of 4: Solving Riddles 1 Determine what type of riddle you're working with. Some riddles require creative math skills, such as this riddle: "A barrel of water weighs 50 pounds. What must you add to it to make it weigh 35 pounds?" (Answer: a hole.) Although both enigmas and conundrums often ask the riddle in the form of a question, enigmas are often more complex problems, while conundrums may ask a simple question. 2 Consider the possibilities. With a challenging riddle, it may be helpful to break down the riddle into parts, as demonstrated in Part 2. While breaking down a riddle into parts and considering multiple possible solutions may seem awkward or clunky at first, it will get much faster and easier with practice. 3 Suspend judgment on the answer. One of the most important tactics when listening to or reading a riddle is to not jump to conclusions. To solve a riddle, you will need to consider both the literal and the potential meanings of the words. For example, this riddle asks: "What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?" (Answer: a towel.) Even though the actions seem contradictory, a towel does dry things and get wet as it dries those things. 4 Practice flexibility in considering answers. Try to think of different ways to interpret the clues the riddle gives. Enigmas in particular are often very figurative, meaning they will use words with a literal meaning to convey something metaphorical. For example, this riddle asks: "What has golden hair and stands in the corner?" The answer is a broom: the "golden hair" is the yellow straw of a traditional straw broom, and it "stands" in the corner when it isn't being used. 5 Understand that sometimes riddles will try to trick you. This is particularly common with riddles that are written to sound like they are asking for an inappropriate or explicit answer. The possibility of multiple answers allows for a laugh from both parties. The goal of a trick riddle is to get you to give the most "obvious" (and also usually most explicit) answer. For example, there are several answers to this riddle: "What four-letter word ending in K means 'intercourse'?" In order to give the "right" answer ("talk"), you must look past the most common assumptions and think more flexibly. Community Q&A Question What is at the beginning of eternity and the end of time, is in every race, but is always last in line? Community Answer The letter E. It's the first letter in "eternity," the last letter in "time," an essential letter in "race," and the last letter in "line." Question Could you solve this riddle for me: Green jacket on the outside, white jacket as the second layer and a red jacket to finish. Inside I am pregnant with a lot of babies -- what am I? Community Answer A watermelon. It can also sometimes be stated as: There is a greenhouse. Inside the greenhouse there is a white house. Inside the white house is a red house. Inside the red house are many babies. What am I? Question I have one letter. But my name is spelled with eight, what is the answer to this riddle? Community Answer Envelope. An envelope contains a single letter, but the word is spelled with eight letters. See more answers Tips Read a lot of riddles. The more familiar you are with how riddles work in general, the better you will become at solving them. Be patient with yourself. Riddles are designed to be challenging. Feeling stumped over a hard riddle doesn't mean you are illogical or stupid. Make up your own riddles! Making your own riddles will help you understand how they work, and will give you practice in breaking them down into parts in order to solve them. (Wikihow)

How do I support a friend or family member going through depression?

Depression: Supporting a family member or friend Help a family member or friend dealing with depression get treatment and find resources. By Mayo Clinic Staff Helping someone with depression can be a challenge. If someone in your life has depression, you may feel helpless and wonder what to do. Learn how to offer support and understanding and how to help your loved one get the resources to cope with depression. Here's what you can do. Learn the symptoms of depression Depression signs and symptoms vary from person to person. They can include: Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports Insomnia or sleeping too much Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort Changes in appetite — reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain Anxiety, agitation or restlessness Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself for things that aren't your responsibility Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things Frequent or recurrent mention of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches For many people with depression, symptoms usually are severe enough to cause noticeable problems in day-to-day activities, such as work, school, social activities or relationships with others. Other people may feel generally miserable or unhappy without knowing why. Children and teens may show depression by being irritable or cranky rather than sad. Encourage treatment People with depression may not recognize or acknowledge that they're depressed. They may not be aware of signs and symptoms of depression, so they may think their feelings are normal. All too often, people feel ashamed about their depression and mistakenly believe they should be able to overcome it with willpower alone. But depression seldom gets better without treatment and may get worse. With the right treatment approach, the person you care about can get better. Here's what you can do to help: Talk to the person about what you've noticed and why you're concerned. Explain that depression is a medical condition, not a personal flaw or weakness — and that it usually gets better with treatment. Suggest seeking help from a professional — a medical doctor or a mental health provider, such as a licensed counselor or psychologist. Offer to help prepare a list of questions to discuss in an initial appointment with a doctor or mental health provider. Express your willingness to help by setting up appointments, going along to them and attending family therapy sessions. If your loved one's illness is severe or potentially life-threatening, contact a doctor, a hospital or emergency medical services. Identify warning signs of worsening depression Everyone experiences depression differently. Observe your loved one. Learn how depression affects your family member or friend — and learn what to do when it gets worse. Consider these issues: What are the typical signs and symptoms of depression in your relative or friend? What behaviors or language do you observe when depression is worse? What behaviors or language do you observe when he or she is doing well? What circumstances trigger episodes of more severe depression? What activities are most helpful when depression worsens? Worsening depression needs to be treated as soon as possible. Encourage your loved one to work with his or her doctor or mental health provider to come up with a plan for what to do when signs and symptoms reach a certain point. As part of this plan, your loved one may need to: Contact the doctor to see about adjusting or changing medications See a psychotherapist, such as a licensed counselor or psychologist Take self-care steps, such as being sure to eat healthy meals, get an appropriate amount of sleep and be physically active Understand suicide risk People with depression are at an increased risk of suicide. If your loved one is severely depressed, prepare yourself for the possibility that at some point he or she may feel suicidal. Take all signs of suicidal behavior seriously and act immediately. Take action if necessary: Talk to the person about your concern. Ask if he or she has been thinking about attempting suicide or has a plan for how to do it. Having an actual plan indicates a higher likelihood of attempting suicide. Seek help. Contact the person's doctor, mental health provider or other health care professional. Let other family members or close friends know what's going on. Call a suicide hotline number. In the United States, you can reach the toll-free, 24-hour hot line of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) to talk to a trained counselor. Use that same number and press "1" to reach the Veterans Crisis Line. Make sure the person is in a safe environment. If possible, eliminate things that could be used to attempt suicide. For example, remove or lock up firearms, other weapons and medications. Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately if the person is in danger of self-harm or suicide. Make sure someone stays with that person at all times. Stay alert for warning signs of suicide Learn and stay alert for common warning signs of suicide or suicidal thoughts: Talking about suicide — for example, making statements such as "I'm going to kill myself," "I wish I were dead," or "I wish I hadn't been born" Getting the means to attempt suicide, such as buying a gun or stockpiling pills Withdrawing from social contact and wanting to be left alone Having mood swings, such as being emotionally high one day and deeply discouraged the next Being preoccupied with death, dying or violence Feeling trapped or hopeless about a situation Increasing use of alcohol or drugs Changing normal routine, including eating or sleeping patterns Doing risky or self-destructive things, such as using drugs or driving recklessly Giving away belongings or getting affairs in order when there's no other logical explanation for why this is being done Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again Developing personality changes or being severely anxious or agitated, particularly when experiencing some of the warning signs listed above Provide support Remember that your loved one's depression isn't anyone's fault. You can't fix the person's depression — but your support and understanding can help. What you can do for your loved one: Encourage sticking with treatment. If your relative or friend is in treatment for depression, help him or her remember to take prescribed medications and to keep appointments. Be willing to listen. Let your loved one know that you want to understand how he or she feels. When the person wants to talk, listen carefully, but avoid giving advice or opinions or making judgments. Just listening and being understanding can be a powerful healing tool. Give positive reinforcement. People with depression may judge themselves harshly and find fault with everything they do. Remind your loved one about his or her positive qualities and how much the person means to you and others. Offer assistance. Your relative or friend may not be able to take care of certain tasks well. Give suggestions about specific tasks you'd be willing to do, or ask if there is a particular task that you could take on. Help create a low-stress environment. Creating a regular routine may help a person with depression feel more in control. Offer to make a schedule for meals, medication, physical activity and sleep, and help organize household chores. Locate helpful organizations. A number of organizations offer support groups, counseling and other resources for depression. For example, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, employee assistance programs and many faith-based organizations offer help for mental health concerns. Encourage participation in spiritual practice, if appropriate. For many people, faith is an important element in recovery from depression — whether it's involvement in an organized religious community or personal spiritual beliefs and practices. Make plans together. Ask your loved one to join you on a walk, see a movie with you, or work with you on a hobby or other activity he or she previously enjoyed. But don't try to force the person into doing something. What you can do for yourself: Learn about depression. The better you understand what causes depression, how it affects people and how it can be treated, the better you'll be able to talk to and help the person you care about. Take care of yourself. Supporting someone with depression isn't easy. Ask other relatives or friends to help, and take steps to prevent becoming frustrated or burned out. Find your own time for hobbies, physical activity, friends and spiritual renewal. Finally, be patient. Depression symptoms do improve with treatment, but it can take time. Finding the best treatment may require trying more than one type of medication or treatment approach. For some people, symptoms quickly improve after starting treatment. For others, it will take longer. (Mayo Clinic)

disrespectful

Disrespectful words and actions are rude and show a lack of respect. If you want to "dis" someone, be disrespectful towards them. You probably know that respectful things show consideration, kindness, and appreciation. Disrespectful things do the opposite. Swearing at your grandmother is disrespectful. Burping loudly in church is disrespectful. For a business to ignore a religious holiday could be considered disrespectful. This is a word with a lot of grey area: what is disrespectful to one person may be just fine to another. Disrespectful behavior can range from blatant rudeness to just not acting impressed or awed by something others hold sacred. (Vocabulary.com)

Me duele el estomago

My stomach hurts

The Twilight Zone (1959-1964)

Rod Serling created this anthology series, whose iconic opening credits featured a theme composed by Bernard Herrmann and a narration warning that the viewer was "about to enter another dimension." One of its most famous episodes, "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet," starred a young William Shatner as a salesman who becomes convinced that a gremlin nobody else can see is trying to crash the airplane on which he is flying.

Unfavorably

With disagreement or dislike

What should I do if my mom says hurtful things?

What to Do When Your Mom Says Hurtful Things: How to React Written by Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyD | Edited by Jessica Gibson Last Updated: November 12, 2022 References Download Article Your relationship with your mom is supposed to be one of the most special relationships in your life, which makes it that much harder when she says something that hurts your feelings. You may not know how to react or what to say to her, but don't worry—we're here to help. In this article, we'll give you lots of expert recommendations for talking with your mom and taking care of yourself. This article is based on an interview with our life coach, Seth Hall, founder of Transformational Solutions. Check out the full interview here. 1 Stay calm. Breathe deeply to control your emotions and soothe yourself. It's completely normal to feel your temper rise if she said something really mean. However, don't immediately react or argue—take slow, deep breaths to calm yourself. It may help to picture a comforting scene or just walk out of the room to get some space.[1] If you can't leave your home, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Imagine a place that makes you feel happy and safe. Really take a moment to imagine the scene using all of your senses. 2 Think about why your mom said those things. Acknowledging her thoughts and feelings can help you figure out how to talk with her. Before you talk to her, ask yourself why she said what she said. Take a moment to consider how your mom is feeling or thinking. This can make your conversation easier. For example, you might think about your mother's childhood or how she was raised. Maybe she's dealing with trauma and doesn't know how to work through it. This might help you realize that her hurtful comments are more about her inability to cope than anything you actually did. 3 Tell your mom that she hurt your feelings. Express yourself so your mom knows that you're hurt. It can be scary or overwhelming to approach your mom and discuss what she said, but it's a big step. Keep your calm and use a respectful tone of voice, so she's more likely to listen to you. Make sure you tell her why you're upset and what you'd like to see change. Use "I" statements when you talk to your mom, so she doesn't get defensive. For example, say, "When you said you're disappointed in me, I felt worthless," or, "I felt really stressed out when you said I don't help out enough." This can feel really hard or scary, but taking small steps—even just saying something short like, "I feel terrible when you call me names,"—tells her that her behavior is harmful. With practice, you can build up to longer, deeper conversations. 4 Stop taking what she says personally. Put emotional space between the two of you to protect your feelings. If your mom repeatedly hurts your feelings and says harmful, insensitive things, it might be time to put some emotional space between the two of you. Practice detaching—where you emotionally distance from what she says. [2] If you can't physically leave, mentally detach by repeating a useful mantra like: "I'm not responsible for my mom's feelings." "I don't need my mother's approval." "I will not rise to my mom's hurtful challenge." 5 Set healthy boundaries with your mom. Identify behaviors you want her to stop to give her consequences. You may not feel like you're in control of your relationship, but you can establish boundaries. Boundaries are for you—you're standing up for yourself and telling your mom that her behavior is unacceptable. You might say, "If you can't talk to me without calling me names, then I can't interact with you," "You can't verbally abuse me," or, "You're not allowed to call me names." Your consequences could include refusing to respond to her or leaving the house. If you're setting boundaries to assert your independence, it's really important that you follow through on commitments that you make to your mom. For instance, if you tell her that you need free time to do stuff after school, but that you'll be home for dinner, make a point of showing up on time. This demonstrates your maturity. 6 Develop a positive mindset. Take care of your mental wellbeing by stopping harmful negative talk. If your mom says hurtful things, you might start to believe them unless you change your outlook. If you think something like, "I must be a bad person," stop and tell yourself, "Actually, I'm quite a good person." Repeat these positive thoughts and eventually, you'll believe them.[3] For example, if you think, "I feel so criticized," tell yourself, "I might not be perfect, but I do my best." Turn a negative thought like, "I feel so angry and unloved," to, "I know I'm a lovable person and I know ways to calm myself down." 7 Prioritize self-care. Hearing hurtful things can be hard, so take care of yourself. Shift the focus from your mom—you can't change her, but you can make positive improvements in your own life.[4] Try to get plenty of sleep, healthy movement, and nutritious food, and do nice things for yourself, too! Here are a few great ways to care for yourself: Meditate. Learn a skill you've always wanted to try. Get out into nature. Treat yourself to coffee or your favorite dessert. 8 Spend time around emotionally-supportive people. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you to you feel valued. Take a break from the stress and anxiety that comes from interacting with your mom. Reach out to friends and loved ones who truly care about you—even calling or texting can make you feel better. If you're up to it, share about the relationship with your mom, or just enjoy knowing that you're around people who love you for who you are.[5] If you're not sure who to talk to or you'd like to talk with someone who's going through a similar experience, join a support group for the children of toxic parents. You could find a group online or ask a counselor for recommendations. If you'd like to develop a support network, join an activity or club so you can meet new people who have similar interests. 9 Talk with a trusted adult if you're being abused. Get help if your mom is physically abusive or you fear for your safety. If you feel like your mom is toxic and abusive, you need to take care of yourself. Reach out to someone who can help you. This might be a school counselor, a relative, or a teacher.[6] For instance, if your mom is screaming things at you and throwing things, get to a safe spot and call a relative to come pick you up. Don't hesitate to call 911 if you're afraid for your safety. If you can't call emergency services, go to a public space like a business or library that has a yellow "Safe Place" sign. They'll arrange for you to talk with counselors or get the help you need.[7] 10 Get professional support. Talk with a therapist who can help you process what you're feeling. It's totally natural to feel hurt and alone if your mom is unkind to you. You may not know who can talk to about your complicated relationship, but there are people who want to help you! A therapist or a counselor at your school can help you figure out ways to talk with your mom, or can help you move forward with your life if you've decided to step away from the relationship.[8] You can talk to a personal therapist or find one who specializes in family conflicts. If you're still in school, talk with your counselor, who can also help you find resources you need. 11 Forgive your mom when you're ready. Let go of your anger and resentment to move on. Forgiveness is complicated—it's not something you can force yourself to do. Instead, you'll know you're ready to forgive her when you don't need her approval, and when you take control of your own happiness.[9] You don't have to verbally forgive your mom, although you could say something like, "I forgive you for the hurtful things you said. I hope we can move past it." It's fine to mentally recognize that you've gotten over the hurt that your mom caused and that you've forgiven her. (Wikihow)

riddle

a question or statement that teases the mind; it requires thought and application a question requiring thought to answer or understand; a puzzle or conundrum

Brig

a two-masted, square-rigged ship with an additional gaff sail on the mainmast. INFORMAL a prison, especially on a warship. (Online definitions)

prosthesis

artificial body part, such as a leg, used to replace a damaged or missing structure; an implant

break even

breakeven 1 of 2 noun break·​even ˈbrāk-ˈē-vən : the point at which cost and income are equal and there is neither profit nor loss also : a financial result reflecting neither profit nor loss break-even 2 of 2 adjective ˈbrāk-ˈē-vən : having equal cost and income (Merriam Webster Dictionary)