Scene 3

Ooh, that gets me insane. You can even control your emotions.

Look, I'm just as upset as you are... but when I get hungry I eat. And when I get tired I sleep. You eat and sleep too. Don't deny it, I've seen you...

Of course I'm serious. I want a divorce!

A divorce? What?

and a coward.

And I will now say something I will soon regret.... okay, Corie, maybe you're right. Maybe we have nothing in common. Maybe we rushed into this marriage a little too fast...... understanding and emotional maturity.

Well, you certainly don't think we're going to live here together, do you? After tonight?

Are you serious?

Don't oversimplify this. I'm angry. Can't you see that?

Corie, It's two-fifteen. If I can fall asleep in about half-an-hour, I can get about five hours' of sleep. I'll call you from court tomorrow and we can fight over the phone.

Ohh, I hate you! I hate you! I really, really hate you!

Corie, there is one thing I learned in court. Be careful when you're tired and angry. You might say things you will-soon regret. I-am-now-tired-and-angry.

You won't discuss it... You're afraid to discuss it... I married a coward...!

Corie, would you bring a pail? The closet's dripping,

The way you feel about me.

Corie, you're hysterical.

it isn't necessary

Do you know . . . Do you know, in P.J. Clarke's last New Year's Eve, I punched an old woman? . . . Don't tell me about drunks.

I am not hysterical. I know exactly what I'm saying. It's no good between us, Paul. It never will be again.

Holy cow.

There you are. I didn't know it until you told me in the morning. You're a funny kind of drunk. You just sat there looking unhappy and watching your coat.

I was watching my coat because I saw someone else watching my coat... Look, if you want, I'll get drunk for you sometime. I'll show you a slob, make your hair stand on end.

Now? How can you sleep now?

I'm going to close my eyes and count knichis. Good night!

Well, you are now.

I'm not going to listen to this... I'm not going to listen... I've got a case in court in the morning.

That's what you're anticipating. I didn't say you're a stuffed shirt. But you are extremely proper and dignified.

I'm proper and dignified? when....? when was I proper and dignified?

You will not got to sleep. You will stay here and fight to save our marriage.

If our marriage hinges on breathing fish balls and poofla-poo pie, it's not worth saving, It's not worth saving.... I am now going to crawl into our tiny, little, single bed. If you care to join me, we will be sleeping from left to right tonight.

You don't consider this a crisis? Our whole marriage hangs in the balance.

It does? When did this happen?

Don't you touch me... Don't you touch me... I don't want you near me. Ever again.

Now wait a minute, Corie-

I'm sorry, I- I don't want to cry.

Oh, for Pete's sake, cry. Go ahead and cry.

You did before.

That was in the middle of a fight. This is in the middle of a divorce.

I have never seen you without a jacket. I always feel like such a slob compared to you. Before we were married I was sure you slept with a tie.

That's ridiculous

I didn't say that.

That's what you're implying.

And you're not. That's just the trouble. Like Thursday night. You wouldn't walk barefoot in the park with me in Washington square park. Why not?

Very simple answer. It was seventeen degrees.

I told you why. Because you and I have absolutely nothing in common.

What about those six days at the Plaza?

Not in the middle of a crisis.

What crisis? We're just yelling a little.

Don't you tell me when to cry. I'll cry when I want to cry. And I'm not going to have my cry until you're out of this apartment.

What do you mean, out of this apartment?

Six days does not a week make.

What does that mean?

I just can't, that's all. Not when you feel this way.

When I feel what way?

All right, Paul.

When else? When else was I proper and dignified?

I'm sorry, Paul, I can't discuss it any more. Good night.

Where are you going?

Just now. It's suddenly very clear that you and I have absolutely nothing in common.

Why. Because I won't walk barefoot in the park in winter? You haven't got a case, Corie. Adultery, yes. Cold feet, no.

I'm begging to wonder if you're even capable of having a good time.

Why? Because I like to wear my gloves in the winter?

I can't talk to you when you're hysterical. Good night.

Will you come here.....? I want to know why you want a divorce.

You're unbearable.

You belong in a nursery school.

You can't go to sleep now. We're having a fight.

You have the fight. When you're through, turn off the lights.

exactly. that's very sensible and logical. except it isn't any fun.

You know, maybe I am too proper and dignified for you. Maybe you would have been happier with someone a little more colorful and flamboyant..., like the Geek!

all right... why don't you get it passed in the supreme court? only those couples bearing a letter from their psychiatrists proving they're well-adjusted will be permitted to be married.

You're impossible.

It's a lot more fun than the Home for the Fuddy Duddies

all right, Corie, let's not get-

Well, he'd be a lot more laughs than a stuffed shirt.

oh, oh..... I thought you said I wasn't.

all right. Th other night. At Delfino's.... you were drunk, right?

right. I was stoned.

Always. You're always dressed right, you always look right, you always say the right things. You're very close to being perfect.

that's.... that's a rotten thing to say.

Where are you going?

to sleep

You won't let your hair down for a minute. You couldn't even relax for one night. Boy, Paul, sometimes you act like a... a...

what......? a stuffed shirt?

No. I can't look at you. I can't even be in the same room with you now.

why?

No. Because there isn't the least bit of adventure in you. Do you know what you are? You're a watcher. there are watchers in this world and there are do-ers. And the watchers sit around watching to do-ers do. Well, tonight you watched and I did.

yeah..... well, it was harder to watch what you did than it was for you to do what I was watching.

To bed.

you can't, not now.