Social Psych relations: Love

The Biology of Love

Helen Fisher (1998): Three discrete, interrelated emotion-motivation systems Lust (Sex drive) Attraction Attachment Distinct neurotransmitters and/or hormones, neural circuitry, and behavioral repertoires Evolved to direct different aspects of reproduction

HOW can we keep passionate love alive?

How can we reduce boredom, keep excitement alive? Early relationships are exciting, in part because they are novel and arousing Novelty and arousal invariably decline in the normal course of events Can recapture novelty and arousal by sharing new, exciting, self-expanding activities together (Aron, Norman, Aron, McKenna, & Heyman, 2000)

Friendship-based Love Scale (Grote & Frieze, 1994)

I feel our love is based on a deep and abiding friendship. My partner is one of the most likable people I know. An important factor in my love for my partner is that we laugh together. My love for my partner involves solid, deep affection.

Passionate Love Scale (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986)

I would rather be with ____ than anyone else I want _____ physically, emotionally, mentally. Sometimes I feel I can't control my thoughts; they are obsessively on _____ I eagerly look for signs indicating ____'s desire for me. I would feel deep despair if ______ left me.

Love is an emotional state

Longing Adoration Lust, passion Giddy, butterflies in stomach Feeling of well-being Feeling of dependency Caring Compassion

Bio of love pt 2

Lust: Reproduction: estrogens and androgens Attraction (Romantic Love) Reward systems: dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin Attachment (Companionate Love) Pair bonding, caregiving: Oxytocin, vasopressin

Can passionate love endure part 2

Romantic love (without obsession) was not correlated with relationship length Romantic love (without obsession) was associated with greater martial satisfaction Obsession was associated with lower marital satisfaction in these long-term couples

What are the implications for the social psychology of close relationships?

The phenomenology of love Changes in love over time Relationship satisfaction and subjective happiness Responses to relationship dissolution, loss

Biology of Love

These different neural systems often work in concert, but they can also work independently Over time, romantic attraction (passionate love) may wane but attachment (companionate love) grows stronger We can be deeply attached to someone but still sexually attracted to partners outside the relationship People can have sex with people with whom they are not "in love" and can be "in love"

Companionate Love

Universal Emotionally calm Long-lived Tends to grow stronger (not weaker) over time Associated with marital satisfaction

Passionate Love

Universal Passionate love appears to be a universal experience But it is not the basis for marriage in all cultures Two-factor theory of Passionate Love: Passion = Physiological arousal + belief that partner is the cause of that arousal

Companionate Love

What is companionate love? The affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined Comfortable, affectionate love Based on friendship and companionship

More sexual imagery and higher rate of phone calling

Why does this occur? Excitation transfer (or "Misattribution of arousal") Just about any form of arousal produces the effect Later studies showed that arousal can increase or decrease attraction (White et al., 1981) Arousal caused by one event fuels stronger emotional reactions to a second event

Can passionate love endure?

Yes! Acevedo & Aron (2009) Need to separate "romantic love" from "obsession" "Obsession" tends to decline But, for many couples, romantic love (with intensity, engagement, and sexual interest) does endure!

Passionate Love

- State of intense longing for union with another -Intensely emotional, but emotions can be mixed -Positive: elation, desire, ecstasy -Negative: pain, jealousy, anxiety

Love is a set of behaviors

- Verbal signals ("I love you") - Non-verbal signals (happy, relaxed, gazing, smiling) -Physical affection (kissing) -Self-disclosure (intimacy)-Exchange of gifts, resources -Willingness to make sacrifices

Love is also an attitude

-Positive evaluations of other - Idealization of other -Liking, respect

Agape

Altruistic and dutiful

TAT

Coded for sexual/romantic imagery

Features of Passionate Love

Cognitive - Partner preoccupies thoughts - Idealize partner (see only +) - Intense desire to know partner Emotional - Strong physical/sexual attraction - Negative feelings when things go wrong - Longing for other person during separation - Physiological arousal (heart races) Behavioral - Maintain proximity (touch & closeness) - Study other person to determine feelings (uncertainty) Experience - "Falling in love" or "Being in love"

Features of Companionate Love

Cognitive - Practical type of love - Emphasizes trust, caring, & tolerance of flaws Emotional - Emotional tone is moderate - Warmth & affection (less extreme passions) - Feeling of comfortable attachment - Sense of belonging Behavioral - Shared activities, companionship

Empty Love

Commitment without intimacy or passion is empty love. In Western cultures, this love occurs when warmth and passion have died. Or during arranged marriages.

COmpassionate love

Compassionate love, sometimes also called altruistic love,It is also closely related to the construct of unlimited love. Compassionate love refers to love that "centers on the good of the other" It is distinct from altruism, compassion, and romantic loveUnrequited love= one sided love!

Lee's love styles (eros, ludus, storge, mania, agape, pragma)

Eros: erotic lover finds good looks compelling and seeks an intense and passionate relationship

Nonlove

If intimacy passion and commitment are all absent, love does not exist. Instead, you have a casual, superficial, uncommitted relationships acquaintances.

Companionate Love

Intimacy and commitment combine to form love for a close companion, or companionate love. Partners work to maintain a deep, long-term friendship. This love is epitomized by a long, happy marriage.

Liking

Intimacy is high but passion and commitment are very low. Liking occurs in friendship.

What is Love?

Love is multi-dimensional... -An emotional state -An attitude -A set of behaviors - An experience -Falling in love -Unrequited love

Dutton and Aron study

Men crossed a safe or scary bridge Approached by attractive female researcher and asked to complete a questionnaire packet Projective test (TAT)

Traingular

Sternberg (1988) Two types not fully adequate More elaborate theory of typologies of love Different types of love formed from 3 core components Passion Intimacy Commitment 8 different forms based on 3 components, conceptualized in terms of a triangle

Infatuation

Strong passion in absence of intimacy or commitment is infatuation, which is what people are aroused by others they barely know.

Ludus

The ludic lover considers love to be a game and likes to play the field

Mania

The manic lover is demanding possessive excitable

self expansion model...

The self-expansion model is based on two key principles. The first is that humans have a primary motivation to self expand. The second principle is that individuals often achieve self-expansion through close relationships which allow the inclusion of the other in the self.

Storge

The storgic lover prefers friendships that gradually grow into lasting commitments

Romantic Love

When high intimacy and passion occur together, people experience romantic love. One way to think about romantic love is a combination of liking and infatuation. Commitment is not a defining characteristic of romantic love. For example: Summer love

Consummate love

When intimacy passion and commitment are all present to a substantial degree, people's experience "complete" or consummate, love. Hard to maintain over time.

Passion

characterized by physical arousal, desire, excitement, and need. Sexual longing and emotional need

Commitment

feelings of permanence, stability, decisions to devote oneself to a relationship and work to maintain it.

Intimacy

feelings of warmth understanding trust support and sharing that often characterize loving relationships

Triangular theory of Love

includes intimacy, passion and commitment

Pragma

practical careful and logical