13.4 PROSOCIAL RELATIONS

Research indicates that in some cases contact and cooperation can be transformational.

Contact- Most effective when contact is free of competition and equal status exists Across a quarter-million people studied in 38 nations, friendly contact with ethnic minorities, older people, and people with disabilities has usually led to less prejudice. Contact is not always enough.

Modern matchmaking

Internet-formed friendships and romantic relationships are on average slightly more likely to last and be satisfying. Nearly a quarter of heterosexual and two-thirds of same-sex couples met online.

Speed dating?

Men are more transparent. Choices may be more superficial. Women are more choosy than men.

Companionate love?

Passionate love seldom endures. Passion-fed hormones (testosterone) give way to oxytocin that supports feelings of trust, calmness, and bonding Attraction and sexual desire endure, without obsession of early-stage marriage Equity is important key to satisfying and enduring relationship Self-disclosure deepens intimacy

Enemy perceptions

People in conflict form negative, distorted images of one another (mirror-image perceptions) "Us" versus "Them" develops Vicious cycle of hostility emerges at individual or national level Perceptions can become self-fulfilling prophecies

Conflict

Perceived incompatibility of actions, goals, or ideas in which people become enmeshed in potentially destructive processes that often produce unwanted results Among these processes are social traps and distorted perceptions

Altruism

is an unselfish concern for the welfare of others. People are most likely to help when they notice an incident, interpret it as an emergency, and assume responsibility for helping (Darley and colleagues). Odds for being helped are also increased if the person appears to deserve help or is a women. Similarity to self, unhurried or in a good mood, feeling guilty, focused on others and not preoccupied also raises likelihood of being helped.

PROMOTING PEACE 1. COOPERATION 2.COMMUNICATION 3.CONCILIATION

1. Cooperative contact, not conflict alone, reduced conflict. Experiments with teens in 11 countries confirm that cooperative learning can maintain or enhance student achievement. 2.When real-life conflicts become intense, a third-party mediator may facilitate much needed communication. Mediators can help each party to voice its viewpoint and to understand the other's needs and goals; change a win-lose orientation to a win-win one 3.GRIT (Graduated and Reciprocated Initiatives in Tension-Reduction) is alternative to war or surrender

1.Social trap 2.Mirror-image perceptions

1.Situation in which conflicting parties, by each pursuing their self-interest rather than the good of the group, become caught in mutually destructive behavior 2.Mutual views often held by conflicting people, as when each side sees itself as ethical and peaceful and views the other side as evil and aggressive

Positive social norms encourage generosity and enable group living.

1.Socialization norm Social expectation that prescribes how we should behave 2.Reciprocity norm Expectation that people will respond favorably to each other by returning benefits for benefit (cost-benefit analysis; utilitarianism; social exchange theory) 3.Social-responsibility norm Expectation that people should help those who depend on them

Passionate love/Two-factor theory of emotion?

Emotions have two ingredients—physical arousal and cognitive appraisal. Arousal from any source can enhance an emotion, depending on how we interpret and label the arousal. Sexual desire + a growing attachment = the passion of romantic love

Psychology of attraction

Proximity (mere exposure effect) Physical attractiveness Similarity of attitudes and interests

Bystander affect

Tendency for any given bystander to be less likely to give aid if other bystanders are present Occurs when there is a diffusion of responsibility

What do we mean by attractive?

The answer varies by culture and over time. Some adult physical features, such as a youthful form and average face, seem attractive everywhere. Appealing traits enhance feelings of physical attractiveness. Liking endures when people are more alike.