Act 1 Scene 1 - Hello, Dolly! Lines
Ambrose: Mrs. Levi! (1)
...Mr. Kemper, the artist! You know, I'm something of an artist myself, I do those silhouettes with scissors and black paper, here's one of Ada Rehan looking the other way. I have to do them like that because I'm no good at noses.
opening line
Dolly Levi! -- That's right, Mrs. Dolly Levi, born Gallagher, Social Introductions, Ladies and gentlemen of excellent family introduced under the most respectable conditions in an atmosphere or elegance and refinement... object matrimony! Unfortunately I won't be able to offer my usual lightning service today as I have a previous appointment in Yonkers, New York, arranging the second marriage of Mr. Horace Vandergelder... the well known half-a-millionaire... as my late husband Ephraim Levi always said that means he's got at least sixty thousand cash... but I'll do my best to have you carried across somebody's threshold before the week is out! -- Now, I might also mention I'm available for Financial Consultation, Instruction in the Guitar and Mandolin, Short Distance Hauling... and Varicose Veins Reduced!
Ambrose: Mrs. Levi! (2)
I know, Mr. Kemper, the Yonkers train is ready to leave! Now you go buy our tickets... get a window seat... order lunch and I'll meet you on board.... -- ....Ephraim Levi, I'm going to get married again. I'm going to marry Horace Vandergelder for his money and send it out circulating among the people like rainwater the way you taught me.... and I want a sign from you, sometime today, that you approve. Oh it won't be a marriage in the sense we had one but I shall certainly make him happy.... and I'm tired Ephraim! Tired of living from hand to mouth so I want that sign....
Ambrose: Mrs. Levi (3)
Sometime today! -- .... Now don't you worry, Mr. Kemper, we'll make that train, we'll get to Yonkers, you'll marry Ermengarde.... just leave everything to me! (Finish "I PUT MY HAND IN")
Ambrose: I know all about it, Mrs. Levi! Half New York says he's going to propose to Mrs. Irene Molloy this very afternoon!
Which is exactly why I'm on my way to Yonkers this morning, Mr. Kemper, and can take on your case and knock off four lovebirds with one stone or whatever I'll throw I'll see and well well well what do you think of that I have nothing here to pay my train fare with, only large bills fives and sevens....
Ambrose: Tell me, Mrs. Levi, what's in all this for you?
A living, Mr. Kemper. Some people paint, some sew.... I meddle! (Sing "I PUT MY HAND IN")
Ambrose: I have some change here somewhere! I only hope this isn't a wild goose chase, Mrs. Levi!
And speaking of poultry I am also available for Fresh Jersey Eggs, Surgical Corsets Re-boned, Ears Pierced, Pierced Ears Replugged...
Ambrose: Mrs. Levi, the train for Yonkers leaves in five minutes and if we don't get there on time...
But we will, Mr. Kemper! And not only will Horace Vandergelder give you permission to marry his niece, Ermengarde, but he will also dance at your wedding and not alone either because I happen to be engaged in finding him a suitable second wife himself... What he really wants is someone steady to clean the house. As my late husband Mr. Levi always said, marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she's a householder...
