Chapter 10: Early childhood Psychosocial Development
Active Play
-Active social play—not solitary play—correlates with peer acceptance and a healthy self-concept and may help regulate emotions. ^Adults need to remember this when they want children to sit still and be quiet.
Studies of Corporal Punishment
-However, longitudinal research finds that children who are physically punished are more likely to be disobedient and to become bullies, delinquents, and then abusive adults (Gershoff et al., 2012). They are also less likely to learn quickly in school or to enroll in college -longitudinal research finds that children who are not spanked are more likely to develop self-control. ^As spanking increases, so does misbehavior (Gershoff, 2013). The correlation between spanking and later aggression holds for children of all ethnic groups. -In 43 nations (mostly in Europe), corporal punishment is illegal; in many nations on other continents, it is the norm ^ A massive study of low- and moderate-income nations found that 63 percent of 2- to 5-year-olds had been physically punished (slapped, spanked, hit with an object) in the past month -In more than 100 nations, physical punishment is illegal in schools, but each state of the United States sets laws, and teachers may legally paddle children in 19 of them. ^Overall, in the United States in one recent year, 218,466 children were corporally punished at school. Sixteen percent of those children had intellectual disabilities, and a disproportionate number were African American boys >boys are punished more frequently than girls -Many studies of children from all family constellations and backgrounds find that physical punishment of young children correlates with delayed theory of mind and increased aggression -To prove cause without a doubt would require many parents of monozygotic twins to raise them identically, except that one twin would be spanked often and the other never. Of course, that is unethical as well as impossible.
Pride and Prejudice
-Many young children believe that whatever they are is good. They feel superior to children of the other sex, or of another nationality or religion. ^This arises because of maturation: Cognition enables them to understand group categories, not only of ethnicity, gender, and nationality, but even categories that are irrelevant.
self concept
A person's understanding of who he or she is, in relation to self-esteem, appearance, personality, and various traits. -Indeed, for all aspects of self-concept and emotional regulation, culture and family matter. Children may be encouraged to laugh/cry/yell, or the opposite, to hide their emotions. ^Anger is regulated in almost every culture, but the expression of it—when, how, and to whom—varies a great deal.
permissive parenting
An approach to child rearing that is characterized by high nurturance and communication but little discipline, guidance, or control. (Also called indulgent parenting.) -Permissive parents (also called indulgent) make few demands, hiding any impatience they feel. - Discipline is lax, partly because they have low expectations for maturity. ^Permissive parents are nurturing and accepting, listening to whatever their offspring say, including cursing at the parent.
identification
An attempt to defend one's self-concept by taking on the behaviors and attitudes of someone else. - they try to become like the same-sex parent. Consequently, young boys copy their fathers' mannerisms, opinions, and actions, and girls copy their mothers'. That is why they exaggerate the male or female role. The next stage, latency, is devoted to repressing sexual urges.
Studies that show brain maturation
1. In one study, researchers asked children to wait eight minutes while their mothers did some paperwork before opening a wrapped present in front of them (Cole et al., 2010). The children used strategies to help them wait, including distractions and private speech. 2. This is a recent example of the famous marshmallow test, which now has longitudinal results (Mischel et al., 1972). -Children could eat one marshmallow immediately or get two marshmallows if they waited—sometimes as long as 15 minutes. ^Young children who delayed gobbling up a marshmallow became more successful as teenagers, young adults, and even middle-aged adults—doing well in college, for instance, and having happy marriages
Motivation studies
1. a longitudinal study found that 3-year-olds who were strong in intrinsic motivation were, two years later, advanced in early math and literacy -Child-centered preschools, as described in Chapter 9, depend on children's intrinsic motivation to talk, play, learn, and move. That is effective: Children enjoy activity for its own pleasures. When playing a game, few young children keep score; intrinsic joy is appreciated more than winning. In fact, young children often think they won when objective scores would say they lost; in this case, the children may really be winners.
Types of play
A century ago, American sociologist Mildred Parten described five stages of play, each more advanced than the previous one: 1. Solitary: A child plays alone, unaware of other children playing nearby. 2. Onlooker: A child watches other children play. 3.Parallel: Children play in similar ways but not together. 4.Associative: Children interact, sharing toys, but not taking turns. 5.Cooperative: Children play together, creating dramas or taking turns. -Research on contemporary children finds much more age variation than Parten did, perhaps because family size is smaller and parents invest heavily in each child. Many Asian parents successfully teach 3-year-olds to take turns, share, and otherwise cooperate (stage 5). ^Many North American children, encouraged to be individuals, still engage in parallel play at age 6 (stage 3).
gender schema
A cognitive concept or general belief based on one's experiences—in this case, a child's understanding of sex differences. -In research reported by this group, parents discouraged stereotypes, but that did not necessarily sway a preschool girl who wanted a bright pink tutu and a sparkly tiara. The child's gender schema overcame the words of parents who disparaged gender stereotypes. In effect, children develop a theory-theory to explain what they experience. -Gender schema are everwhere (Starr & Zurbriggen, 2016). Deliberate messages added to children's simplistic thinking can explain all gender stereotypes, according to cognitive theory.
time-out
A disciplinary technique in which a child is separated from other people for a specified time. -Time-out is not to be done in anger, or for too long; it is recommended that parents use a calm voice and that the time-out last only one to five minutes. ^Time-out works as a punishment if the child really enjoys "time-in," when the child is happily engaged with the parents or with peers. >Time out is favored ex./ in the large, longitudinal evaluation of the Head Start program highlighted in Chapter 9, an increase in time-outs and a decrease in spankings were considered signs of improved parental discipline -However, the same team who criticized the correlation between spanking and misbehavior also criticized the research favoring time-out. They added, "misbehavior is motivated by wanting to escape from the situation . . . time-out reinforces the misbehavior"
Induction
A disciplinary technique in which the parent tries to get the child to understand why a certain behavior was wrong. Listening, not lecturing, is crucial. - parents talk extensively with the offender, helping the child understand why his or her behavior was wrong. -Then a strong and affectionate parent-child relationship means that children explain their emotions and parents listen carefully. Children can explain what they might have done instead of what was done, although such hypothetical reasoning is difficult—maybe impossible—for young children. -Simple induction ("Why did he cry?") may be more appropriate, but even that is hard before a child develops theory of mind. Nonetheless, induction seems to pay off over time. Children whose parents used induction when they were 3-year-olds became children with fewer externalizing problems in elementary school
psychological control
A disciplinary technique that involves threatening to withdraw love and support and that relies on a child's feelings of guilt and gratitude to the parents. -Psychological control may reduce academic achievement and emotional understanding, just as spanking is thought to do -in a survey experiment parents were asking a few questions in relation to psychological control ^The higher the parents scored on these four measures of psychological control, the lower the children's math scores were—and this connection grew stronger over time. >Moreover, the children tended to have negative emotions (depression, anger, and so on). Thus, psychological control may have some of the same consequences as corporal punishment.
extrinsic motivation
A drive, or reason to pursue a goal, that arises from the need to have one's achievements rewarded from outside, perhaps by receiving material possessions or another person's esteem. -Social rewards are powerful lifelong: Four-year-olds hold an adult hand crossing the street because they are praised for doing so—and punished if they forget. -If an extrinsic reward stops, the behavior may stop unless it has become a habit. Then it is continued because it feels right (intrinsic).
intrinsic motivation
A drive, or reason to pursue a goal, that comes from inside a person, such as the desire to feel smart or competent. -arises from within, when people do something for the joy of doing it ^Intrinsic motivation is thought to advance creativity, innovation, and emotional well-being -Erikson's psychosocial needs are intrinsic: The young child feels compelled to initiate things, from walking along a ledge to exploring an anthill.
New Research Refuting Baumrind
A study of parenting at age 2 and children's competence in kindergarten (including emotional regulation and friendships) found "multiple developmental pathways," with the best outcomes dependent on both the child and the adult (Blandon et al., 2010). -Such studies suggest that simplistic advice—from a book, a professional, or a neighbor who does not know the child—may be misguided. Longitudinal, careful observation of parent-child interactions is needed before judging that a caregiver is too lax or too rigid. -As the following suggests, given a multicultural and multicontextual perspective, developmentalists realize that many parenting practices are sometimes effective. But that does not mean that all families function equally well—far from it.
antisocial behavior
Actions that are deliberately hurtful or destructive to another person. - includes verbal insults, social exclusion, and physical assaults. -Children might dislike other children, especially those who are mean in rough-and-tumble play, or who insist on their own way in sociodramatic play. Antipathy -Generally, antisocial behavior diminishes over the preschool years, especially as social understanding increases. ^Parents and teachers help children learn how to take turns and share, increasing emotional maturity, or slowing it down if they neither discuss nor respond to emotions -Neighborhood and school stress also decrease empathy and increase antipathy, as well as fueling the emotional problems that some children develop (Flouri & Sarmadi, 2016). In other words, context is crucial.
prosocial behavior
Actions that are helpful and kind but are of no obvious benefit to oneself. —helpfulness and kindness without any obvious personal benefit. Prosocial actions and preferences increase from ages 1 to 6. Empathetic preschoolers become first graders who are likely to share, help, and play with other children
neglectful/uninvolved parenting
An approach to child rearing in which the parents are indifferent toward their children and unaware of what is going on in their children's lives. -Neglectful parents are oblivious to their children's behavior; they seem not to care. Their children do whatever they want. This is quite different from permissive parents, who care very much about their children.
authoritative parenting
An approach to child rearing in which the parents set limits but listen to the child and are flexible. -Authoritative parents set limits, but they are flexible. ^ They encourage maturity, but they usually listen and forgive (not punish) if the child falls short. ^They consider themselves guides, not authorities (unlike authoritarian parents) and not friends (unlike permissive parents).
authoritarian parenting
An approach to child rearing that is characterized by high behavioral standards, strict punishment for misconduct, and little communication from child to parent. -Authoritarian parents set down clear rules and hold high standards. They do not expect children to offer opinions; discussion about emotions and expressions of affection are rare.
reactive aggression
An impulsive retaliation for another person's intentional or accidental action, verbal or physical. - Almost every child reacts when hurt, whether or not the hurt was deliberate. ^The reaction may not be controlled—a child might punch in response to an unwelcome remark—but as the prefrontal cortex matures, the impulse to strike back becomes modified. -Both instrumental aggression and reactive aggression are less often physical when children develop emotional regulation and theory of mind
Instrumental aggression
Behavior that hurts someone else because the aggressor wants to get or keep a possession or a privilege. -is common among 2-year-olds, who often want something and try to get it. -This is called instrumental because the aggression is a tool, or instrument, to get something that is desired. The harm in grabbing a toy, and hitting, if someone resists, is not understood.
Behaviorism
Behaviorists believe that virtually all roles, values, and morals are learned. To behaviorists, gender distinctions are the product of ongoing reinforcement and punishment, as well as social learning. Such learning is evident in early childhood. ex./ a boy who asks for a train and a doll for his birthday is more likely to get the train. Boys are rewarded for boyish requests, not for girlish ones. -Gender differentiation may be subtle, with adults unaware that they are reinforcing traditional masculine or feminine behavior. ex./ a study of parents talking to young children found that numbers were mentioned more often with the boys
sex differences
Biological differences between males and females, in organs, hormones, and body type. -Biology determines whether an embryo is male or female (except in rare cases): Those XX or XY chromosomes normally shape organs and produce hormones.
Emotional regulation in preschoolers
But emotional regulation in preschool predicts academic achievement and later success. Many factors are crucial. 1. Maturation matters. Three-year-olds are notably poor at impulse control. By age 6 they are better, and effortful control continues to improve throughout childhood. 2. Learning matters. In the zone of proximal development, children learn from mentors, who offer tactics for delaying gratification. 3. Culture matters. In the United States many parents tell their children not to be afraid; in Japan they tell them not to be too proud; in the Netherlands, not to be too moody. Children try to do whatever their culture asks.
Cognitive theory
Cognitive theory offers an alternative explanation for the strong gender identity that becomes apparent at about age 5 -Cognitive theory recognizes that not all parents think sexual distinctions are wrong.
gender differences
Differences in the roles and behaviors of males and females that are prescribed by the culture. -Theoretically, the distinction between sex and gender seems straightforward, but complexity is evident in practice. Scientists need to "treat culture and biology not as separate influences but as interacting components of nature and nurture" -Although the 23rd pair of chromosomes are crucial, the entire culture creates gender differences, beginning with the blue or pink caps put on newborns' heads. Before age 2, children use gender labels (Mrs., Mr., lady, man) consistently. -Although they do not understand that sex is inborn, many preschoolers are quite rigid about male-female roles. ^ Most children consider ethnic discrimination immoral, but they accept some sex discrimination >Transgender children, likewise, are insistent that they are not the sex that their parents thought
initiative versus guilt
Erikson's third psychosocial crisis, in which children undertake new skills and activities and feel guilty when they do not succeed at them. Initiative: includes saying something new, expanding an ability, beginning a project, expressing an emotion. Depending on what happens when they try a new action, children feel proud or guilty. -Usually, North American adults encourage enthusiasm, effort, and pride in their 2- to 6-year-olds. ^If, instead, parents ignore rather than guide joy and pride, or worse, blame the child for being ignorant, clumsy, or so on, the child may not learn emotional regulation. >For both genetic and behavioral reasons, parents who blame their children and who have poor emotional regulation themselves are likely to have children who do not learn how to regulate their own emotions -That protective optimism helps young children try new things, and initiative advances learning of all kinds. As Erikson predicted, their optimistic self-concept protects them from guilt and shame.
Evolutionary theory
Evolutionary theory holds that sexual passion is one of humankind's basic drives, because all creatures have a powerful impulse to reproduce. -This evolutionary drive may explain why, already in early childhood, boys have a powerful urge to become like the men, and girls like the women. This will prepare them, later on, to mate and conceive a new generation. ^Genes dictate that young boys are more active (rough-and-tumble play) and girls more domestic (playing house) because that prepares them for adulthood, when fathers defend against predators and mothers care for the home and children > To deny that is to deny nature. This means that transgender children, who identify as the other sex, have a difficult childhood. The entire culture pushes them to be whatever sex was on their birth certificate.
phallic stage
Freud's third stage of development, when the penis becomes the focus of concern and pleasure. -At age 3 or 4, said Freud, boys become aware of their male sexual organ. They masturbate, fear castration, and develop sexual feelings toward their mother.
Baumrind's Categories
In her original research, Diana Baumrind (1967, 1971) studied 100 preschool children, all from California, almost all middle-class European Americans. 1. Expressions of warmth. Some parents are warm and affectionate; others are cold and critical. 2. Strategies for discipline. Parents vary in how they explain, criticize, persuade, and punish. 3. Expectations for maturity. Parents vary in expectations for responsibility and self-control. 4. Communication. Some parents listen patiently; others demand silence.
Superego
In psychoanalytic theory, the judgmental part of the personality that internalizes the moral standards of the parents. -This theory contends that a boy's fascination with superheroes, guns, kung fu, and the like arises from his unconscious impulse to kill his father. ^Further, an adult man's homosexuality, homophobia, or obsession with guns, prostitutes, or hell arises from problems at the phallic stage. -One, called the Electra complex, is again named after an ancient Greek drama. Freud thought girls also want to eliminate their same-sex parent (mother) and become intimate with the opposite-sex parent (father). That explains why many 5-year-old girls dress in frills and lace, and are happy to be "daddy's girl."
Styles of Caregiving
International variations are stark—from those who are so strict that they seem abusive to those who are so lenient that they seem neglectful. -Variations are also apparent within each nation, within each ethnic group, and even within each neighborhood.
imaginary friends
Make-believe friends who exist only in a child's imagination; increasingly common from ages 3 through 7. They combat loneliness and aid emotional regulation. - Such conversations with invisible companions are rarely encouraged by adults (thus no extrinsic motivation), but from about age 2 to 7, imaginary friends are increasingly common. ^Children know that their imaginary friends are invisible and pretend, but conjuring them up meets various intrinsic psychosocial need
Motivation
Motivation is the impulse that propels someone to act. It comes either from a person's own desires or from the social context.
relational aggression
Nonphysical acts, such as insults or social rejection, aimed at harming the social connection between the victim and other people. -(usually verbal) destroys self-esteem and disrupts social networks, becoming more common as well as more hurtful as children mature. ^In early childhood, relational aggression is usually quite direct: A young child might tell another, "You can't be my friend" or "You are fat," hurting the other child's feelings. However, the sting of relational aggression is far less painful at age 3 than age 8.
Sociocultural Theory
Parents encourage gender differences sometimes without realizing it. ex./ a massive study of 41 low- and middle-income nations found that fathers took their young boys outside more often than their girls. They also were more likely to read to, tell stories to, and count with their sons. The mothers tended to be more unisex in their activities -By age 6, children are astute "gender detectives," seeking out ways that males and females differ in their culture and then trying to follow the lead of others of their sex.
Social Play
Play can be divided into two kinds: pretend play when a child is alone and social play that occurs with playmates. -One meta-analysis of the research on pretend play and social play (Lillard et al., 2013) reports that evidence is weak or mixed regarding pretend play but that social play has much to commend it. -If social play is prevented, children are less happy and less able to learn, which suggests that social play is one way that children develop their minds and social skills. -By age 6, most children are quite skilled: Some know how to join a peer group, manage conflict, take turns, find friends, and keep the action going -As they become better playmates, children learn emotional regulation, empathy, and cultural understanding. Specifics vary, but "play with peers is one of the most important areas in which children develop positive social skills"
Play
Play is timeless and universal—apparent in every part of the world over thousands of years. Many developmentalists believe that play is the most productive as well as the most enjoyable activity that children undertake -Vygotsky is well known for his respect for child's play, which makes a playing child "a head taller" than his or her actual height -Some educators want children to play less in order to focus on reading and math; others predict emotional and academic problems for children who rarely play -Some developmentalists fear that play is subverted currently by three factors: (1) the current push toward early mastery of academic skills, (2) the "swift and pervasive rise of electronic media," and (3) adults who lean "more toward control than freedom"
rough-and-tumble play
Play that mimics aggression through wrestling, chasing, or hitting, but in which there is no intent to harm. origin: The term was coined by British scientists who studied animals in East Africa (Blurton-Jones, 1976). They noticed that young monkeys often chased, attacked, rolled over in the dirt, and wrestled quite roughly without injuring one another, all while seeming to smile (showing a play face). -When these scientists returned to London, they saw that puppies, kittens, and even their own children engaged in rough-and-tumble play, like baby monkeys. -The most common active play ^Children chase, wrestle, and grab each other, developing games like tag and cops-and-robbers, with various conventions, facial expressions, and gestures to signify "just pretend. ^Rough-and-tumble play happens everywhere (although cops-and-robbers can be "robots-and-humans" or many other iterations) and has probably been common among children for thousands of years -It is much more common among boys than girls and flourishes best in ample space with minimal supervision ^Many scientists think that rough-and-tumble play helps the prefrontal cortex develop, as children learn to regulate emotions, practice social skills, and strengthen their bodies
Praise
Praise may be effective when it is connected to the particular production, not to a general -The distinction between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation may be crucial in understanding how and when to praise something the child has done. -In a set of experiments which suggest that specific praise for effort is better than generalized statements, some 4- to 7-year-old boys were told that boys are good at a particular game. ^Knowing this decreased their scores on the game. The same thing happened when girls were told that girls were good at the game. >The children apparently feared that they would not be as good as most children of their sex. They "felt less happy and less competent, liked the game less, [and] were less persistent" >By contrast, other children were told that one particular child was good at the game. That led them to believe that personal effort mattered. That belief was motivating; their scores were higher than those told that boys or girls in general were good.
sociodramatic play
Pretend play in which children act out various roles and themes in stories that they create. -Through such acting, children: 1.explore and rehearse social roles. 2. learn to explain their ideas and persuade playmates. 3.practice emotional regulation by pretending to be afraid, angry, brave, and so on. 4.develop self-concept in a nonthreatening context. -Sociodramatic play builds on pretending, which emerges in toddlerhood. But remember that solitary pretending may not advance various skills; dramatic pretending with peers does. ^As children combine their imagination with that of their friends, they advance in theory of mind >Everywhere, as they age from 2 to 6, children increasingly prefer to play with children of their own sex. >As with this example, boys' sociodramatic play often includes danger and then victory over evil. By contrast, girls typically act out domestic scenes, with themselves as the adults. -The prevalence of sociodramatic play varies by culture, with parents often following cultural norms. ^That troubles developmentalists for many reasons. One is simply time—the more children are glued to screens, especially when the screen is their own hand-held device, the less they spend in active, social play
Corporal Punishment
Punishment that physically hurts the body, such as slapping, spanking, etc. -In the United States, young children are slapped, spanked, or beaten more often than are infants or older children, and more often than children in Canada or western Europe. Spanking is more frequent: in the southern United States than in New England. by mothers than by fathers. among conservative Christians than among nonreligious families. among African Americans than among European Americans. among European Americans than among Asian Americans. among U.S.-born Hispanics than among immigrant Hispanics. in low-SES families than in high-SES families. -These are general trends: Contrary to their generalization, many African American mothers living in the South never spank their children, and many secular, European American, high-SES fathers in New England routinely spank their children. ^Local norms matter, but parents make their own decisions. >Moreover, physical punishment (called corporal punishment because it hurts the body) usually succeeds momentarily because immediately afterward children are quiet.
Problems with the classification schema of Baumrid's Research
She did not consider socioeconomic differences. She was unaware of cultural differences. She focused more on parent attitudes than on parent actions. She overlooked children's temperamental differences. She did not recognize that some "authoritarian" parents are also affectionate. She did not realize that some "permissive" parents provide extensive verbal guidance. -More recent research finds that a child's temperament powerfully affects caregivers. Good caregivers treat each child as an individual who needs personalized care. ex./ fearful children require reassurance, while impulsive ones need strong guidelines. Parents of such children may, to outsiders, seem permissive or authoritarian. -Overprotection may be a consequence, not a cause, of childhood anxiety (McShane & Hastings, 2009; Deater-Deckard, 2013). Every child needs some protection and guidance; some more than others. The right balance depends on the particular child, as differential susceptibility makes clear.
gender similarities hypothesis
Some of the latest research suggests that our culture's emphasis on sex differences blinds us to the reality, a gender similarities hypothesis, that the two sexes have far more in common than traditional theories recognize. Perhaps instead of looking for sex differences, we should notice sex similarities. In early childhood, boys and girls are alike in many ways.
Emotional regulation
The ability to control when and how emotions are expressed. -By age 6, most children can be angry, frightened, sad, anxious, or proud without the explosive outbursts of temper, or terror, or tears of 2-year-olds. ^Depending on training and temperament, some emotions are easier for a child to control than others, but even temperamentally angry or fearful children learn to regulate their emotions
effortful control
The ability to regulate one's emotions and actions through effort, not simply through natural inclination. -Effortful control is more difficult when people—of any age—are in pain, or tired, or hungry. ^ Effortful control, executive function, and emotional regulation are similar constructs, with much overlap. ^ Executive function emphasizes cognition; effortful control emphasizes temperament; both are aspects of emotional regulation.
Empathy
The ability to understand the emotions and concerns of another person, especially when they differ from one's own. -Empathy leads to compassion
learning emotional regulation
The development of emotional regulation benefits playful interactions not from watching a screen. Young children enjoy playing with each other, and they gradually learn what actions and reactions make a good playmate.
Characteristics of Parenting Styles Identified by Baumrind
The following long-term effects of parenting styles have been reported, not only in the United States but in many other nations as well: 1.Authoritarian parents raise children who become conscientious, obedient, and quiet but not especially happy. Such children may feel guilty or depressed, internalizing their frustrations and blaming themselves when things don't go well. As adolescents, they sometimes rebel, leaving home before age 20. 2.Permissive parents raise children who lack self-control, especially in the give-and-take of peer relationships. Inadequate emotional regulation makes them immature and impedes friendships, so they are unhappy. They tend to continue to live at home, still dependent on their parents in adulthood. 3. Authoritative parents raise children who are successful, articulate, happy with themselves, and generous with others. These children are usually liked by teachers and peers, especially in cultures that value individual initiative (e.g., the United States). 4. Neglectful/uninvolved parents raise children who are immature, sad, lonely, and at risk of injury and abuse, not only in early childhood but also lifelong.
Aggression
The most troubling problems are the externalizing ones, when children's anger leads them to hit, kick, and hurt other people. For aggression, emotional regulation is essential. -Two forms decrease over the years, one increases, and one can either increase or decrease—with destructive consequences.
Brain maturation
The new initiative that Erikson describes results from myelination of the limbic system, growth of the prefrontal cortex, and a longer attention span—all the result of neurological maturation. -Emotional regulation and cognitive maturation develop together, each enabling the other to advance\ -Normally, neurological advances in the prefrontal cortex at about age 4 or 5 make children less likely to throw tantrums, pick fights, or giggle during prayer. ^Throughout early childhood, violent outbursts, uncontrolled crying, and terrifying phobias (irrational, crippling fears) diminish. >The capacity for self-control, such as not opening a present immediately if asked to wait and not expressing disappointment at an undesirable gift, becomes more evident.
Oedipus complex
The unconscious desire of young boys to replace their father and win their mother's romantic love. -These feelings make every young boy jealous of his father—so jealous, according to Freud -based on the son of a king in greek mythology
The four forms of Aggression
Type of Aggression Definition Comments 1. Instrumental aggression -Hurtful behavior that is aimed at gaining something (such as a toy, a place in line, or a turn on the swing) that someone else has -Often increases from age 2 to 6; involves objects more than people; quite normal; more egocentric than antisocial. 2.Reactive aggression -An impulsive retaliation for a hurt (intentional or accidental) that can be verbal or physical -Indicates a lack of emotional regulation, characteristic of 2-year-olds. A 5-year-old can usually stop and think before reacting. 3.Relational aggression -Nonphysical acts, such as insults or social rejection, aimed at harming the social connections between the victim and others --Involves a personal attack and thus is directly antisocial; can be very hurtful; more common as children become socially aware. 4. Bullying aggression -Unprovoked, repeated physical or verbal attack, especially on victims who are unlikely to defend themselves -In both bullies and victims, a sign of poor emotional regulation; adults should intervene before the school years. (Bullying is discussed in Chapter 8.)
Bullying aggression
Unprovoked, repeated physical or verbal attacks, especially on victims who are unlikely to defend themselves. -Bullying aggression occurs among young children but should be stopped by kindergarten, before it becomes more harmful. ^Not only does it destroy self-esteem and thus learning, it eventually harms the bullies, who learn destructive habits. ex./ A 4-year-old bully may be friendless; a 10-year-old bully may be feared and admired; a 50-year-old bully may be hated and lonely. -Between ages 2 and 6, as the brain matures and empathy increases, children learn to use aggression selectively, and that decreases both internalizing and externalizing problems
Playmates
Young children play best with peers, that is, people of about the same age and social status.
