families in transition

What are the pulls of motherhood? (pulling them out of workplace)

Torn whether to stay home with the baby or go back to work- pull of children Caring for elders Re Evaluating the child's childcare

What is the most common pathways to parenthood for lesbian couples?

Two main groups -Those that had children in heterosexual relationships and later formed a single-mother family or lesbian step family -Comothers who choose to have a child through donor insemination.

What is the take home conclusion of this reading?

Until poor women have more access to jobs that lead to financial independence, the poor will continue to have children far sooner than most americans. Poor want to marry well and in their view this is the only way to avoid an almost certain divorce.

How does divorce effect individual happiness? What is the importance of understanding relationship trajectories as part of this discussion?

continuous instability--> worse health--> unhappiness and lower quality of life

Death used to be the most common reason for not living with one or both parents, what contributes more this today?

divorce and births to unmarried women are the more common reason

Why is it important to look at the divorce trends going as far back as the 1880s?

divorce rate increased steadily for next 80 years

What strains does incarceration put on families, resources, and relationships?

financial strains-less $/loss of contribution loss of federal resouces difficulty maintaining contact cost money to maintain contact acts like a "hidden tax" children may be placed in foster care esp. if mother is incarcerated

How does incarceration effect the marriage market? (gender imbalance)

lack of marriageable men (6-7 women for every 1 man) allows men to leave freely if unhappy→ increased possibility he will find another women in no time women more likely to settle for whatever their man wants ex. cheating, married to more than one woman, less time spent with husband

First sexual relationships tend to be whom? Casual sexual relationships are typically with whom?

normative pattern= date before sexual intimacy & to share "first sexual experience with someone with whom they were going steady" Casual sex occurred more often between friends than strangers

How have divorce rates changes in the last 3 decades? What is the current predicted divorce rate?

our 50 percent divorce rate has leveled off, and we haven't seen much change.

What is the solution that would make most of these women happy?

provide flexibility to mothers so that they may work. Eliminate the stigma associated with mothers and working.

What are the two intense ideals?

"If you are a good mother, you must be intensive. The only 'choice' involved for good mothers is whether you add the role of paid working women." Portraits "On the one side there is the portrait of the 'traditional mother' who stays at home with the kids and dedicates her energy to the happiness of her family." "On the other side is the image of the successful 'supermom.' Effortlessly juggling home and work, this mother can push a stroller with one hand and carry a briefcase in the other."

What is surprising to Cherlin?

"What is surprising is not that fewer people marry, but rather that so many still want to marry and that the desire to marry remains widespread

What are the challenges of couples (or single parents) who are working too much? How does these effect feelings about family relationships?

"With more single-parent households and dual-earner households, a much higher proportion of 21st century household than in the past had all adults employed and, thus, had limited flexibility in meeting demands at home such as the care of sick children." (p. 708) Problem too little time/energy left for family life Parental feelings of not spending enough time with children were widespread and higher for fathers who spent more hours away from home in the paid workforce than mothers" Women are not the only ones struggling with this balance...

How resilient are children of divorce?

"approximately 80 percent [children of divorce] were doing well, versus 90 percent of children in the general population"

How does marital horizons affect choices made about long-term versus short-term relationship partners?

"both women and men are less selective when asked about desired attribute for short-term versus long-term relationship partners" Education Physical attractiveness Relative intelligence (men) "Emerging adults who desire marriage in their early 20s engage in different relationship patterns" More conservative sexual attitudes & behaviors (Less likely to engage in premarital sex) Engage in fewer risky behaviors (binge drinking, cigarette smoking, use of illegal drugs)

Why are a number of higher-earning women "opting-out" of their careers?

"women today 'choose' to be home full-time not as much because of parenting overload as because of work overload, specifically long hours and the lack of flexible options in their high-status jobs."

What is the ideology (ideological work) that both women use to explain (justify) their decision?

**Ideology of intensive mothering "Most paid working mothers cope with the ambivalence by arguing that their participation in the labor force is ultimately good for their kids." Income provides children toys, clothing, outings, and education that would not be possible otherwise (opportunities) Paid caregiver arrangements can help further children's development Quality of time spend with kids seems to increase if they have a chance to get away from them for part of the day Happy moms make happy children

Coming back to the family in decline, what is the authors take, is it in decline? Is it simply becoming more diverse, not necessarily becoming better or worse? Or are the changes taking place part of a cultural lag that is setting the stage for stronger marriages?

*Marriage is in decline (dying institution) ---"Those who sermonize about 'family values' need to recall that the family is also about 'bread and butter' issues and back up their words with resources." *the family is not collapsing but simply becoming more diverse

How does work stress affect individuals and the family relationships? How do the studies of police officers demonstrate this? What was the police officer and the spouse like on high stress days? How does frequent, high stress affect the positive emotion system? And consequently the marriage?

*impact of work stresses out the individual who is a member of the family. The stressed individual then brings the stress home and it affects relationships within the family. *Studies of police officers show the high risk occupation leads to high risk marriage. meaning the impact of stress associated with being a police officer affects the marriage *Marriages to police officers suffer from high rates of divorce, domestic violence and alcoholism

If it is the 3rd - what challenges still exist (need to be overcome) conflict surrounding gender differences in marriage

*men are do more emotional work (cleaning the house, caring for kids)then they use to but not as much as women. (or as much as women want them to do) *Dominance: Some men are unwilling to accept influences of wife. They feel a shift towards equality is about allowing their wives to have dominance over them -link between male violence and dominance

What proportion of African American Women are expected to marry? What % of African American children are born outside of marriage? What fraction of African American children may never live in a married-couple family?

- 2/3rd of African American women are expected to marry - 69% of African American children are born outside of marriage - 3/5 of African American children may never live in a married couple family

Although a gender divide still exists, there has been increased convergence in time spent in out-side-the-home, paid employment, time allocated to house work in the home, and time allocation in childcare, what shift is mostly responsible for changes in time allocated to housework? What shift has is mostly responsible for changes in discrepancy of time allocated to childcare?

- 2nd shift

What are some of the key statistics reported about the new face of work in today's 24/7 economy?

- 40% of employed Americans work evening and night shifts - 51% two-job families with children have at least one parent working a non-standard daytime shift - 30% report variable starting and stopping times, typically with employers setting those times

What is the ABCX Model and how does it help explain who becomes distressed and who able to adapt?

- A: stressor, B: existing resources, C: perception of the stressor, X: crisis

Statistics: Approximately how many active service men and women are there in the Active? And Reserve military? What is the count of the number of spouses and children they have? How many in the US population are veterans? How many of these are women? In the past decades has the size of the military been growing larger or smaller? Busier or less busy?

- Active: 1.4 million - Reserve: 833,930 - spouses and children: 2,988,545 - 23.4 million veterans (1.8 million women) - In past decades military is downsizing, but is much busier

What is the point of the final story told in the conclusion about Damian and his being "sorely tempted by the option..."

- Damien was so tempted to enter into a heterosexual relationship because he was Catholic and struggled with his gay tendencies as well as the longing to become a parent. His idea to remedy this was to go into a "relationship" with a best friend in order to become a dad. The worry with this was, what if it ended badly, so he decided to veto this idea and move to adoption. The point of this is that some gay men struggle with their sexuality and in order to cope, they decide to move into a heterosexual relationship to fight off their "nature" as well as become a parent in an easier environment.

How does having a sick child stress workers? Who are the most stressed and why?

- Many working mothers don't have the option to "opt out" of work - professional managerial women are the lucky ones: **have high quality day-care **employment is often more flexible to handle a sick child (but a sick child is not a stressor for them) - working class jobs often don't have flexibility. Some policies they have are: **2 weeks of off time per year (regardless of reason) **mandatory over-time (may be last minute) **3 strike policy (late or missed work 3 times they are fired, regardless of reason) ---so the most stressed person would be someone with a sick child who holds a working class job.

What are some of the characteristics of the children gay men are more likely to adopt?

- Often higher risk kids, lower ses, more likely to have had mothers who used drugs/drank, older kids, more likely to be children that are of other ethnicities or have learning impairments

What are the pathways to parenthood for gay men?

- adoption -surrogacy (In Vitro treatment) - marrying a woman in order to have a child - foster care -gestational surrogacy

What are some of the challenges that gay men face with each of these different pathways to parenthood?

- adoption= hard for gay men because they couldn't both have custody because they were homosexual - surrogacy= complicated because not all women will provide for gay men and they have a chance of losing the baby - this would be hard on the woman as well as the "family" dynamic because the man would be lying in order to achieve parthood...sneaky process - foster care= involves going through the class process and being with a partner that is as passionate and determined to become a parent. If the partner isn't as determined, it'll jeopardize the couple's chances - gestational surrogacy= very expensive outlet to becoming a parent

Can marital problems be outlasted? What contributes to this?

- couples that out-last problems: It is easy to blame the husband or wife's basic character. Only later when the situation had changed, did it seem there was nothing inherently wrong with the couple's relationship. Different types of stress cause the conflict in the marriage (work, money, housing, in-laws etc). Not blaming one another is important to alleviate the situation.

How have economics influenced marriage and family formation trends?

- decline in job opportunities had two effects **it decreased the attractiveness for the uneducated men on the marriage market- made them less "marriageable" ** it also undermined the single-earner "family wage system" that had been the ideal for the 1st half of the 20th century and increase the incentive for wives to take paying jobs

According to this reading what is the connecting force in these relationships? (It goes with the title, what is meant by 'Daddy, baby; Momma, Maybe...')

- economically disadvantaged men do engage in romantic relationships..this is where most of their children are born into. - 1/3rd or fewer of the couples will remain together after the child turns 5. - low income couples who marry before having children are fragile as well- much more than the middle class married couples are- but they still function as partners for a considerable period of time

Be able to understand what is meant by the husband's marriage and the wife's marriage. What is meant by every marriage contains within it a "good marriage and a bad marriage?"

- every marriage has two sides: the husband's and wife's side...meaning that they both can have different viewpoints of where they stand in the marriage. Every marriage contains a good marriage and bad marriage meaning there are positives and negative dimensions to every marriage and they are perceived differently between the husband and wife's viewpoints.

What are the challenges with the daycare options in America?

- expensive - more than half of US child-care rated as "poor" to "adequate" - only 10% is developmentally enriching - in tag-teaming parents, when one parent's work disrupts childcare, it can affect the second parent's job - problems arise when relying on childcare: must cope with often- inflexible hours and policies (late penalties, by the minute), most won't take a sick child

What are some the characteristics of Hispanic marriages and childbearing of Hispanics? How is studying Hispanics more challenging?

- hispanics are more diverse - Mexican american (marriage-based, multi generational families): **higher birthrates than all other major ethnic groups **births are more likely to occur within marriage than is case for African Americans **families are more likely to include kin - Puerto Ricans (2nd largest hispanic group) **most economically disadvantaged **rates of nonmarital childbearing second to African Americans **traditional consensual union- live together as married but without marriage....more puerto rican single mothers han african american single mothers are living with their partner

Statistics: How have incarceration rates changed in the last generation? Who are these incarcerated parents?

- incarceration rates have increased 4X as much than in the last generation - who are these parents: ** 46% fathers (violent crimes) ** 26% mothers (violent crimes) ** 23% fathers (drug related crimes, get $ for drugs or just getting drugs) ** 35% mothers (drug related crimes) ** 23% mothers (history of mental illness) ** 13% of fathers (history of mental illness)

What is the main point of this reading? What does the author thing needs to happen? (Think about idea, if families are in crisis, and employers are in denial, what must change?

- long-term employees have more flexibility and sensitivity to worker's child sickness situations. Other working class jobs are not as sensitive to parents of sick children so it forces them to either find last minute help to watch their child or face a "strike" by missing work. Better protocols need to be in order so families don't have to stress about who can watch their child and how they can balance a sick child and work

What are some of the relationship and family consequences of having one or more parent working in non-standard working hours?

- more likely to have strained relationships - higher family conflict * lower marital quality * reduced time spent with children * lower likelihood of eating meals together * less time providing homework supervision * less time in family leisure

What is PTSD? How can it affect the individual and their family system?

- most studied of many reactions of mass violence - symptoms: persistent intrusive memories or dreams; avoidance of reminders through detachment; emotional numbness; avoiding activities; increased irritability, anger, or vigilance - can be highly disruptive to both individual well-being and marital and parenting relationships associated with expressions of anger and hostility towards spouses and children the emotional numbing linked to loss of intimacy and withdrawal - symptoms are reverberate within families spouses have elevated levels of anxiety, depression, hostility, and somatization children, especially in families with serious issues such as health problems, displayed elevated levels of psychopathology, interpersonal difficulties, and psychiatric treatment

Aside from an increase in the proportion of women having 1st births outside of marriage, what factor does Cherlin implicate as being a the major contributor to the increases in the proportion of births to single women?

- no explosion in nonmarital births in US...birth rates have declined for married women faster - cohabitation has led to increase birth rate

Were the pregnancies usually planned?

- no, planned pregnancies are rare...the contraception practices that couples usually engaged in initially seldom continued for long. - from the interview dialogue, the men were not necessarily in a relationship with the women but they were more than a casual/occasional fling

What is quiltwork and tag team childcare/parenting?

- quiltwork= * drafting grandparents and other family members to help out (and sometimes friends) * 30% of workers surveyed had to cut back on at least one day of work due to family care responsibilities/challenges (both women (⅓) and men (¼) have had to make these cutbacks - tag-team= * when he comes home, she goes to work, when she comes home, he goes to work. Both are not home at the same time

Thinking about the whole reading, is Skolnick arguing that marriage is in decline?

- the US still has the highest marriage rates among advanced industrial countries even though divorce rates are high. -the Census Bureau estimates that about 90% of Americans will eventually marry. People today are just putting marriage off until later so marriage isn't dead.

What is happening to the middle-group in the divergent economic paths?

- the middle group is declining (disappearing). There has been a growth in the group of more fortunate children and growth the group of less fortunate children. - in essence there has been growth in the two extremes-- amount of fortunate children and amount in unfortunate children. Meaning the middle ground is declining

Review the common themes in these relationships (it will help with second question above)

- the theory is that even though women want their independence, they need the security of the man and will look elsewhere in order to be financially secure. The men interviewed felt that money was one of the sole reasons the relationships ended. - most of the pregnancies in the chapter occurred unplanned and within a few months of the couple being "together"...after hearing the news, the couples began to think of themselves as a couple for the first time - the decision to have the baby or not was usually made by the woman and the man just went with what they wanted to do. -men struggled during the pregnancy period because more arguments and serious problems occurred between the couple at that point but they would reconcile for the baby's sake. (couples felt that once the baby was born, things would become "normal" again). -cohabitation in response to pregnancy was more common among the interviewed couples (for the time, love, cash study) than among lower income fathers..the higher income couples had a more serious relationship and became "family like" to a greater degree during pregnancy and at birth. - men's behavior is most common of a relationship's demise.

What are the million dollar blocks?

- these are areas where more than $1 million is being spent annually to incarcerate the residents of a single census block. This program helps the high incarcerated area get back into society with re-entry programs because the city was spending huge amounts of money on the incarcerated people. - the program will help ex-offenders get a new grasp on job skills and help them re-enter back into society with training and potential jobs.

What was the pre-baby relationship sequence? Who were these women?

- typically this is how the interaction among the couples worked (as described by the men): the couple met, began to "affiliate", and then "came up pregnant". Most didn't mention the traits and characteristics the couple had in common. - the women were: usually the women living on their block, hung out on their corner, worked the same job, was a friend of the sister, or the girlfriend of a friend, and she was simply willing to "affiliate" with the man. - the couple's relationship before pregnancy was usually brief- less than a year. - it's rare when this type of couple falls in love, get engaged or married before having a baby together...instead they "associate", "affiliate", "communicate", begin to "kick it", "get with each other" etc.

When does distress occur? What groups of people within the military are more likely to display clinically significant symptoms of distress?

- when "stressful demands overtax the coping capacity of individuals and families" - young people, women, members of ethnic minority groups, people with prior psychiatric problems, people who lack support or the confidence they can cope

How common is cohabitationin the United states? Approximately what proportion of cohabitation unions break-up prior to reaching one year?

-"About half of young adults live with a partner before marrying." -"It is rare in the United States for cohabiting relationships to last long - about half end, through marriage or a breakup within a year" (Reading #9; Cherlin,p 121)

What is meant by the stranger and dependent models that most state and governments follow?

-"Stranger model"- residential step-parent is a legal stranger to the child with no legal rights or responsibilities -"Dependent model"- residential stepparent is supporting the stepchildren and provides benefits accordingly

In the 1950s what was the sentiment of the general public regarding divorce?

-"most people thought divorce was nobody's business, except that of the man and woman in question" -getting a divorce was, or should be, like getting a marriage license (Couples were entitled to a marriage license for a certain fee)

What was allowed for in California in 1970, that essentially became the first no fault divorce statute? (middle of page 155)

-"no fault" means divorce when either partner, husband or wife, wants a divorce and asks for it -there are no longer any "grounds" for divorce -either partner can break off the marriage at any time for any reason or no reason at all -1970: The old "grounds" for divorce were eliminated except for two: -total insanity -"irreconcilable differences which have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage"

What is the silent revolution that occurred in the last 1/3 of the 20th century (bottom of page 154), why was it called a silent revolution?

-"silent" because though it seemed like a radical change, it was accomplished with little discussion and even less controversy -people felt there was no point saving marriages that no longer satisfied either husband or wife or both and they had a right to divorce when the marriage "just didn't work out"

What was the major family policy controversy of the 1970s? 1980s? 1990?

-1970s: definition of family policy -1980s: partisan ownership of family policy -1990s: legitimacy of government's role in family functioning

Basic stats, what % of households are headed by a gay or lesbian couple (2004 Census)

-2004 census found that 6.4% of households are headed by gay or lesbian couples

Statistics: Know basic ideas of the following: -Do most mothers remarry following divorce?

-70% of mothers remarry within 6 years

How have youth benefited from family-focused prevention of substance use?

-9X more effective than youth only approaches -better in school and social skills

What is the definition of policy? (p. 784)

-A plan or course of action carried out throughout a law, rule, code or other mechanism in the public or private sector

What are the steps for policymakers and program administrators?

-Be willing to make tough political decisions to mandate that public funds be used primarily for evidence-based programs -Eliminate current programs that are not effective -Set aside funds for quality control

What is meant that the vast majority of divorces in the first 21st century were collusive?

-Collusive- deal between two parties often illegal or secretive -Resulted from a deal between husband and wife (both wanted divorce) -Allowed only where consent for marriage was obtained by force, duress or fraud or if one of the parties was physically incapable of entering into the marriage state or was a lunatic -Annulments were used in some places

What is meant by the vast majority of divorces in the first 21st century were collusive?

-Collusive: deal between two parties often illegal or secretive -Resulted from a deal between husband and wife (whether the deal was really "consensual" - that is, a bargain between equals, between two people who both wanted a divorce is another question) -Allowed only where consent for marriage was obtained by force, duress or fraud or if one of the parties was physically incapable of entering into the marriage state or was a lunatic. -Annulments were used in some places

What is the pure/good/democratic relationship?

-Doesn't exist in reality -Based on emotional communication where rewards are the main basis for the relationship to continue -Each person has equal rights and obligations -Each person has respect and wants what's best for the other

What were given as reasons for establishing families as a critical focus of policy making?

-Families are a fundamental foundation for generating the productive workers a sound economy demands -Families contribute to the rearing of the caring, committed citizens a strong democracy requires -Family policy is an efficient investment of public resources to achieve societal goals and an effective means of promoting positive child/youth development -Families proffer the middle ground from which compromise and census can emerge between policy makers and the public

What are the 4 explicit functions of family that family policy covers?

-Family creation: to marry, to divorce, to bear or adopt children -Economic support of families -Childrearing -Caregiving of the elderly, sick, and disabled

What are disposable workers (also called contingent workers)? How much of the workforce do they make up?

-Hired in part-time or temporary jobs to fill an organizational need and are released as soon as the work load lightens -Make up about 1/3 of existing work force

State of divorce laws around 1950s

-Judge would make call on whether or not there were "irreconcilable differences" -Divorce became automatic, judges would usually just sign papers without asking questions

What are steps that can lead from family policy from analysis to action for researchers?

-Must work to span the cultural divide that separated them from the policy world -More communication with knowledge brokers, government organizations, universities, and all who have expertise in family policy and existing relationships with policy makers -Ask these questions when designing studies: • How do families contribute to this issue • How are families affected by this issue • Would incorporating family considerations into the design of studies result in a more complete understanding?

What are the 3 views on policy reform for stepparents rights, responsibilities, and obligations?

-Negativists- smallest group; find stepfamilies as a troublesome aberration to be discouraged -Voluntarists- biggest group; largely believes that law and policy should leave stepfamilies along but acknowledges the complexity and distant nature of stepparent relationships -Reformists- believes the law should take the lead in providing more rights/obligations for stepparents

What state in 1933 allowed for divorce due to "incompatibility"?

-New Mexico -"incompatibility" means: basically that two people do not and cannot get along

What does the research say, are children of gay and lesbians at a disadvantage?

-No empirical studies have suggested that children of gay and lesbian parents are disadvantaged as compared to their heterosexual raised counterparts

What is surprising about the egalitarian nature of lesbian relationships?

-Not as equal as some suspected they would be -Especially the case for non-white/middle-class lesbian couples

What is the point in using middle-class couples to illustrate the points being made in this paper?

-Provide evidence that pervasive stresses and vulnerabilities that are affecting most families these days -even those with two mature, relatively advantaged parents. -Life is less than ideal -More subject to distress -"becoming parents...in this culture, at this time sets in motion a chain of potential stressors that function as risks that stimulate moderate to severe distress for a substantial number parents" -Unaddresses distress à lower marital quality & poorer parent-child relationships foreshadows Neg. child outcomes

How do remarriages compare on average in size and age of children to first marriages?

-Same size of non-step families -Children are typically older

Rising costs and adjustment to large entitlement programs (likes Social Security) may do what to smaller "discretionary" family programs?

-Squeeze out resources dedicated to discretionary initiatives -Discretionary programs grow at much slower rates because they grow in nominal terms unlike large entitlement programs which grow based on demands

In what 3 ways have families changed and what has been the consequence of these changes?

-Strained economic conditions -Shifting ideology -LESS SUPPORT= MORE ISOLATION 80 % of couples live in urban or suburban environments (2000) Increasingly far from parents and kin (Increasingly far or lack of) friends with babies the same age (fewer kids/more employed mothers) Less support of those who could share experiences of ups and downs Neighbors are often strangers Many women who stay at home to care for their babies find themselves virtually alone in the neighborhood during this major transition. In adequate social support poses risk to maternal and babies well-being. more choice = more ambiguilty more freedom over expressing whether and when to bring children into their lives 4.5% of women now voluntarily remain forever childless new expectations for marriage = new emotional barriers Marriages are becoming more egalitarian. Husbands are doing more work around the home than their fathers once did not do but wives are still doing a majority of the work. Couples struggle with contradictions between the values of egalitarianism and traditionalism, and between egalitarian ideology and the contraints of modern family life. At the same time, they expect their partners to be their major suppliers of emotional warmth and support. basically they struggle to be loving and support the household

According to the conclusion, how would the author classify the case for marriage and his case for divorce? Which one(s) are based on the author's data-based understanding of the topic? Which one(s) are missions of compassion?

-The case for marriage: help refocus attention on the benefits of marriage than can help make lives better -The case for divorce: to guide readers through the uncertainty that persists simultaneously in the understanding of data and in the culture -Both are missions of compassion

What is the family perspective in policymaking?

-What the consequences of any policy is on family functioning and well-being -When families are used as a means to accomplish another policy

What is the implication of the New York statistics, that by 1950 "for the state as a whole, there were two-thirds as many annulments as decrees of divorce?"

-While other parts of the country the courts interpreted annulment laws very strictly, but in New York they stretched the concept of fraud almost beyond recognition -pretty much, NY interpreted "fraud" very loosely, so annulments were way more common than in other areas of the country

What about the workplace (and husbands) is pushing them out?

-Women received mixed messages from men/husbands and employers. Husbands would show emotional support but if their career got demanding, then they did little to share family responsibility - Work: those who claimed to be flexible and child friendly, AKA working part time.... Carried significant penalties. I.e. loss of significant responsibilities and once flourishing careers derailed. Also, part time work creeps in more hours almost to full time. -Men gave them a "choice" AKA its your problem. Most men weren't quitting their jobs

-Are remarriage divorce rates less than, similar to, or higher than first marriage divorce rates?

-higher

Rather than opting for such a bold solution, most states settled on allowing divorce for dead marriages. What was the general criteria used to determine this?

-if the couple had been separated for a certain number of years, from 2-10 depending on the state

What is the trust like between the baby mommas and baby daddys?

-literature mainly focuses on how much women mistrust men but it's not known how much men mistrust women. -the chief source of power (outside of physical violence) in these relationships is control over the child. Women have greater control in this regard. -men are often apprehensive about their ability to provide the economic demands they also know their children's mothers will place on them over time, and as soon as they can't provide for them anymore, their affection will hault.

What factors have encouraged women to invest more in education and careers (especially higher SES women)?

-single motherhood is more common in less-educated women than well-educated women -well educated women have: greater labor market opportunities, resurgence of feminist ideologies, and advent and availability of effective birth control -women who invest more in their education and careers tend to delay childbearing and marriage which ultimately means that they are more attractive in the marriage market

When families tremble, the intensity of the trembling is disproportionately and more adversely affects of____ and _____.

-social class -race/ethnicity

What two myths are tripping over each other in America today? What is the author talking about here?

-we are a nation of equal lives side-by-side -with the belief of white supremacy We act as if everyone is equal but in reality whites are still superior.

Can managers and professions be considered disposable employees? What SES group's members are most likely to find themselves at greatest risk this type of insecure employment situation?

-yes managers and professions can be disposable -Mostly unskilled or limited skilled (low SES)

What is the fear of these men, "often obsessed about the ____ guy with the _____

-younger - nicer car who had a better job and might turn their partner's head

How does having a baby effect (1) parents sense of self? (2) relationship with parents and in-laws? (3) Work and friends? (4) And the marriage?

1)As parenting identity increases size of the partner/lover portion "got squeezed" Depression is common-many women experience depression within a few months after giving birth; men can experience it as well 2) Some parents are receptive and want their inlays involved Other's want more space to forge out their new identity as family with a child There can be within couple differences (conflict) with regard to this (who, if anyone, do they want involved) Parents and in-laws have expectations and feelings about this as well 3) Less time with friends- it's a challenge to juggle the demands of work, family and friendship 4) increase in marital dissatisfaction and strain

What are two main areas of differences found in gay relationships and heterosexual relationships?

1. Sexuality and Monogamy -Gay men much more likely to have open relationships -Gay men have more sex in their relationships 2. Relationship Dissolution -Homosexual unions more likely to dissolve -Interestingly, it does not appear to be due to satisfaction or compatibility

What percent of preventative programs implemented are evidence based?

10%

What % of non-marital births occur to cohabiting couples? What % of these cohabiting parents end up being married one year later? What percentage have broken up?

39% of non marital births occur in cohabiting couples After 1 year only 15% had married and 26% broken up

Do most mothers remarry following divorce?

70% of mothers remarry within 6 years

What are the three types of cohabitation?

Alternative for living alone Substitution for formal marriage Precursor to marriage

What does and does not predict marital outcomes?

Anger is not the great destroyer of marriage Gottman's Marriage ratio 5:1 for every one negative interaction between couples it must be accompanied with 5 positive interaction

How resilient are children of divorce?

Approximately 80% of children of divorce are resilient

What reasons are given for why US is a higher marriage/higher divorce nation than other developed nations?

High individualistic values High marriage values Tend to be more religious Greater economic inequality Family Policy differences

How does working too little affect families? (esp. men's paid work)

Lower-wage men tend to be more disconnected from families Marriage and parenting practices of men were tied to work. "The provider role remained important for men."

How does mastery or sense of control affect self-concept? (how does marriage and then children effect feelings of mastery?)

Marriage increased the effect of mastery on the odds of achieving career goals Children decreased the mastery's effect, especially if labor force participation is interrupted. Appears to be cohort-effects in this based on the dominant work-family ideology of the era

What is especially interesting about men's earnings among cohabiting men?

Men's income plays less of role on entering into a cohabiting uinion than marriage But, cohabiting men who earn more are not more likely to marry than less well-off cohabiting men.

Are mother's really at war with each other? (the frumpy housewife vs. emotionally detached business woman?)

No they are not. It's an exaggerated made up war. Housewife and business women both respect each other's roles in society

Should this opting out be interpreted as a return to traditional family relationships? If not, how should it be interpreted?

No, these women are not "opting out". They are responding to inflexibility at the workplace. If workplaces would be more supportive of mothers they would not need to quit working

What is the passion for parenthood continuum? Who are on the two ends?

two ends of the parenthood continuum: -"predestined parents" are those who will do anything and everything in their power to become parents -"parental refuseniks" have zero appeal in being parents.

For which types of couples is divorce often a relief? Why does it matter if we are looking at happiness vs. depression

couples with high conflict

What is the worst type of family for a child to be raised in?

distressed family

What is meant by "poor and white; it's a big difference?" Is George's statement accurate

whites are more privileged even it they are poor; poor whites have more of an advantage than poor minorities

How does incarceration of parent effect children?

effects the relationship with the parents education development emotional development

What are the effect sizes for most family programs?

evidence based programs= small effect sizes

What are the next steps for knowledge intermediaries?

frame research in ways that help policy makers and public see family issues as priorities

The US has been characterized as a ____ marriage, ____ divorce society

high marriage; high divorce

Are remarriages divorce rates less than, similar to, or higher than first marriage divorce rates?

higher

What are the reasons why these women often do not marry (esp. the baby daddy)

set a high financial bar for marriage- for the poor, marriage has become an elusive goal- one that they feel should be preserved for someone who can support a "white picket fence" lifestyle -women want to be "set" financially on their own before getting married Mistrust often caused by infidelity, drug/alcohol abuse/ criminal activity. etc.

What are some of the economic benefits of remarriage?

step-fathers income often improves step-children's material well-being often gets the children out of poverty

What is the case for divorce?

Are there some cases where divorce is a better outcome than remaining married? Do we have reasons why we value divorce, as part of our liberal democracy?

Why does Sassler use the term partnering?

Author defines partnering among unmarried adults as "the formation and development of intimate relationships, which may be short in duration or lead to a stable marriage. This perspective encompasses the behaviors engaged in pursuit of that goal, the processes that enhance or impede the development of intimate relationships, and factors differentiating the union types entered." (p. 558)

What is meant by presuming an "in-principle equality" in the parent-child relationship?

Authority of parents should be based upon an implicit contract ex: parent asks "If you were a parent and knew what I know, would you agree with me?"

What are the consequences of the trend towards increases in contingent/disposable employees?

Brings short-term gains for the company and long-term expense of both workers and the nation

What are the key features of the AMA model? What are the strengths and limitations of this model?

Requires stepparents to assume a duty of support during the duration of the remarriage only if the child is not adequately supported by the custodial and noncustodial parent

What is meant that high marriage and high divorce rates are two sides of the same coin in the United States?

The marriage dynamic used to be the social roles within marriage (provider/homemaker). Now marriage has higher standards and the husband and wife are expected to care for one another on a higher psychological level (this is due to higher educational backgrounds among society).

How do these women view marriage?

The poor women want the same things out of marriage that everyone wants. They want to marry but to marry well. Knowing that marriage is forever makes them think that divorce is worse than having a baby outside of marriage. Do not reject marriage, they revere it.

According to the author, with regards to parenting what needs to happen? (for them and their husbands)

There needs to be more equality within the home. More egalitarianism in the roles. There should be a balance between work and home.

What does Giddens mean by referring to marriage and family as a shell institution?

They are still called the same but inside their basic character has changed

How did becoming a mother change these women?

They believe having the child "saved them". Lives were spinning out of control before becoming pregnant, and finding a sense of purpose after having a child.

What is the authors underlying message of this reading?

Too strict in laws we are incarcerating persons but giving them unrealistic sentences that hurt their families we should do more (programs/ reforms/ true rehabilitation) to try to help prisoners and their families

Which expectant parents can be identified pre-baby as having the greatest risk of later marital problems?

"Couples in which partners showed the greatest increase in those discrepancies [between expectations of post-birth family life and realities] - more often those with increasingly traditional role arrangements - described increasing conflict as a couple and greater declines in marital satisfaction." ---Expectations were probably not as realistic ---Mismatch ---More time to think on the mismatch ---Don't have much of a reprieve (on 24/7) *low-middle to upper-middle class couples, who reported no real marital difficulties.

What policy and couple interventions can be used to help these couples?

Preventative services -Parent-focused intervention (home visitation, preschool, and early school intervention, with broader family focus) -Parent education Couple-Focused intervention -Target the couples at risk early on (Ambivalent and yes-no couples) -Becoming a family project demonstrated ability to minimize impact of stressors of this transition Work with both couples by trained mental health professionals

In what ways does this decade in review tone down some of the topic of gender differences in work-family balance (what do they say about the second shift? What do they say about the men and women in the "traditional" marriages?

"Although there was a second shift for employed mothers, it was not nearly as large as that claimed by earlier qualitative research, and the leisure gap between between mothers employed full time and homemakers was larger than the gender gap between fathers and mothers employed full time." (p. 708) Total work by family type "In some family types, most notably those that remained male sole breadwinner, men worked longer total work hours (paid plus unpaid) than women."

What % of gay men and lesbians have been victims of crime because of their sexual orientation?

-19% of lesbians, 28% of gay men

What are the benefits of family focused correctional programs?

-lower crime rate -lots of money saved

What has been the trend with regards to public approval of same-sex marriage?

-more are in favor of same-sex marriage, than are against it or advocate for civil unions -Recent poll by CBS News: Should homosexuals be allowed to marry? -42% say yes -25% say civil unions -28% say no legal recognition

Beside economics, what does Cherlin argue has also influenced marriage and family formation trends?

Cultural developments: -declines in marriageable men can't explain it all -American marriage and family values have shifted -institutional marriage to companionship --companionate marriage → individualized marriage

What are some the potential declines and improvements that can occur in marriages overtime?

Declines: -declines in emotional and personality difficulties→ divorce -some remarried and found "psychologically fit" partners Improvements: -Unhappy couples grew remained married because they outgrew their old marital problems or learned to look past it.

What is the worst type of family for a child to be raised in? (p. 161, 1st paragraph)

Distressed family

What are the pulls to be at work? (do the stay at home moms feel these pulls, even if it doesn't translate into a desire to be at work?)

Don't want to lose self at home -Fear become the "hermit frumpy person" (p. 38) -Want the break from children to interact with adults -Go stir-crazy -Worry at-home-moms don't use their brain -Worry that just get lost in their children -The world will perceive them as lazy and unproductive -Want to feel valued The stay-at-home mom worry about these things as well. Unless very proactive, these worries can become reality. It is easy to loose yourself at home. (Dr. Pope) "The world presents, and mothers experience, the image of the lazy, mindless, dull housewife - and no mother wants to be included in that image" (p. 41)

What is meant by "family policies have been patched together overtime?" (what are some examples of the consequences of this?)

Ex: federal government spends money on the elderly through Social Security; state and local governments spend more on children through education

What are the marital values and relationship formation behaviors of the women highlighted in Edin's work?

Guys tell the girls early on that they want to have babies with them "badge of honor". Often part of the courtship. When the mother do get pregnant, begin to scrutinize the man in a way they never did before, wondering if the guy can "get himself together".

What are the reasons given for differences in outcomes (discord, subjective well-being) Are older single adults retreating from relationship? What are their partnering expectations? Are there gender differences in this? (why may some be electing not to marry?)

Inequality in outcomes Cohabiting couples report higher levels of discord Lower levels of subjective well-being A larger proportion of older adults are single (never married, divorced, death of a spouse) -Little is know about relationship expectations and relationship behaviors of these older single adults -Less desirous of marriage than younger counterparts but not rejecting relationships outright Link between repartnering desires and Education Healthier Fewer depressive symptoms Within 18 months 23% of widowers have gone on date only 9% of widows Women live longer, and men tend to partner more with younger women. This is a disadvantage for older women looking to form relationships. At age 65 and older men 73% of men were married 43% of women

What is the point asking the question, "Divorce is a problem, but compared to what?" (p. 159)

Is divorce a better outcome than remaining married?

What are the pulls to be at home? (do the at work moms feel these pulls?)

Kids require guidance Quality time is not the same as quantity time "Stay-at-home mothers imply that all these problems of kids who lack guidance, love, and support are connected to the problem of mothers who put their own interests ahead of the interests of their children." (p. 43) Other people are raising your children & you miss out on important milestones The employed women worry about these things as well.

What factors are contributing to the higher proportion of time adults spend outside of marriage?

Marital delay Relationship dissolution and churning high divorce rates

Many of the changes in marriage are due to _______ factors

SITUATIONAL -examples: work stress, because it puts stress on family life

Compared to children in never divorced families, how do children in stepfamilies fare? Why is this thought to be the case?

Similar to children of single parents→ step parent doesn't have much parental authority

What 3 ways does struggling with work-family balance effect individual well-being?

Structure of work Not # of hours Time of day and week Conflicts between work and family WTF conflict lined with strain, depression, somatic symptoms, and burnout Schedule fit (to family) more important predictor than number of hours Feeling a time shortage is linked to depression (moderated by income) Not enough work Unemployment, downward mobility, and forced early retirement are thought to be linked subjective strain of job security and adequacy > health and marital relationships and parenting quality.

"Growing up in a family where opportunities are available makes a difference. As does being able to...

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AN OPPORTUNITY WHEN IT COMES BY

According to the conclusion, how would the author classify the case for marriage and his case for divorce? Which one(s) are based on the author's data-based understanding of the topic? Which one(s) are missions of compassion?

The case for marriage: Help refocus attention on the benefits of marriage than can help make lives better The case for divorce: To guide readers through the uncertainty that persists simultaneously in the understanding of data and in the culture. Both are missions of compassion.

Who were the women the author studied? In both the beginning and end of the reading she referred to these women as having a unique position in society and the women's movements, what is this role?

Women that are affluent high powered women. High achieving/educated. Ideal mother (in an era of intensive mothering) and ideal worker (a model based on a man with a stay at home wife). Double bind of "choice gap".... Difference b/n the decisions women could have made about their careers if they were not mothers and the decision they had to make in their circumstances as mothers married to high octane husbands in unyielding professions/ Ideal worker: model of a (typically male) worker unencumbered by family demands

What is meant that it is a cyclical model (work to distress to work)? And how does this understanding help understand why women may "choose" to opt out of higher end career choices?

Work > individual distress > work "distress could influence decisions about work among executive women. Multiple negative family or work events created feelings of being overwhelmed that affected future work trajectories. Women 'chose' to opt out of their jobs for less demanding, part-time work, even when they were devoted to their careers. This choice was structured by belief about what were 'proper' work-family configurations for women."

What is the authors proposed model?

a new conceptualization or stepparent rights/responsibilities -cover all aspects of the stepparent-stepchild relationship and will extend to federal and private policy as well -new framework for the welfare of the stepchildren

How old is idea of intimacy and of relationship?

both very new/recent

What are some of the factors that are associated with cohabitation vs. marriage? (differences between the groups)

cohabitors: More economically disadvantaged Less religious Less homogamous (education and race)

What is ideological work and how do women engage in this as they try to struggle with where they are and their ideal?

ideological work is when people select among the cultural logic at their disposal and synchronize it with what they already believe to be true and what they actually do. Both used incomplete mirror image strategies Strategies they use sap the strength from each other Both try to resolve "feelings of inadequacy by returning to the logic of the ideology of intensive mothering." (p. 37)

How have children benefited (or not) from policies that support parent work?

improved their school performance and sometimes their social development

What belief is this fear alluding to? That the love in the relationship with the baby momma was contingent on--

money

What are some of the limitations of stepparents?

no legal power