Intro To Personalities Chapter 13

Keeping love with attachment

A person with a working model of anxious/preoccupied attachment feels that, in order to get close to someone and have your needs met, you need to be with your partner all the time and get reassurance. To support this perception of reality, they choose someone who is isolated and hard to connect with. The person with a working model of dismissive/avoidant attachment has the tendency to be distant, because their model is that the way to get your needs met is to act like you don't have any. He or she then chooses someone who is more possessive or overly demanding of attention. In a sense, we set ourselves up by finding partners that confirm our models. If we grew up with an insecure attachment pattern, we may project or seek to duplicate similar patterns of relating as adults, even when these patterns hurt us and are not in our own self-interest.

Attachment in Adult Relationships

Adults high in anxious attachment have: •High neuroticism •Low conscientiousness •Adults high in avoidant attachment have: •Low extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness

Blue weeps and wails in the Strange Situation. When their mom returns, they continue to cry.

Anxious Attachment

Sky is uncertain and clingy and often has a negative view of themself. Example of:

Anxious Attachment

Sloan falls in love quickly and thinks their partner is the worst when they are unavailable

Anxious Attachment

What theory examines the later affects of child-caregiver relationships?

Attachment Theory

Charlie dates casually, doesn't allow themself to get too close to anyone.

Avoidant Attachment

Kulture has a removed and isolated attachment style. Example of:

Avoidant Attachment

Secure Attachment

Develops when a child's caregiver is a source of comfort and security; the child learns to trust others. When he feels scared, he knows the caregiver will provide help and comfort. Thus, the child feels ready to explore the environment. Most research shows that a secure attachment style is associated with the best psychological outcomes.Secure attachment •Trusting and open •When a child's caregiver is a source of comfort and security •Associated with the best psychological outcomes •ABILITY TO EXPLORE

Who studied attachment theory with rhesus monkeys?

Harry Harlow

Describe the effect of Big Five traits on long-term relationships.

In general, extraversion predicts relationship formation, and neuroticism predicts relationship problems. Similar personalities do not always attract, nor do opposites, with the exception of dominance.

dark triad

In my chapter 14, 15 notes

Konrad Lorenz

Lorenz's well-known 1935 study on imprinting, he was able to show that young geese would imprint on attachment figures in the environment within a certain critical period after hatching. Lorenz was even able to get newly-hatched geese to imprint on him and view him as a "mother" figure. This revealed that not only is attachment innate but that there is also a critical period during which the formation of attachment relationships is possible. Lorenz's research found that after a certain period (approximately 32 hours for geese), an attachment was not likely to occur.

John Bowlby

Originator of Attachment Theory •Bowlby defined attachment as a 'lasting psychological connectedness between human beings.' (1969, p. 194) •Proposed that attachment can be understood within an evolutionary context in that the caregiver provides safety and security for the infant• •Attachment is adaptive as it enhances the infant's chance of survival •The attachment relationship acts as a prototype for all future social relationships so disrupting it can have severe consequences. •This theory also suggests that there is a critical period for developing an attachment (about 0 -5 years). •If an attachment has not developed during this period, then the child will suffer from irreversible developmental consequences. •Children's attachment experiences eventually become internalized- internal working models of attachment •Part of the child's personality

Lasting impact of neglect

Poor impulse control, social withdrawal, problems with coping and regulating emotions, low self-esteem, pathological behaviors such as tics, tantrums, stealing and self-punishment, poor intellectual functioning, and low academic achievement For kids who were moved into foster care, the picture was brighter. ◦children showed improvements in language, IQ and social-emotional functioning. They were able to form secure attachment relationships with their caregivers and made dramatic gains in their ability to express emotions. While foster care produced notable improvements, though, children in foster homes still lagged behind the control group of children who had never been institutionalized.

How does a child's attachment experiences become a part of their personality?

Reinforcement

Blue Ivy's caregiver is a source of comfort and security. Example of:

Secure attachment

When separated from caregiver, Rory smiles and looks happy when they return. Example of:

Secure attachment

Anxious Attachment

Someone with anxious attachment is nervous that the other person won't love her back. When a caregiver is unreliable—for example, when he is depressed or abuses drugs—the child is likely to develop anxiety about relationships. The child might be difficult to comfort when she is scared. She might also become clingy, not wanting the caregiver to leave because she is afraid that he will not come back.•Anxious attachment •Anxious, uncertain, and clingy •When caregiver is unreliable •Child might be difficult to comfort when scared

Name the three main types of attachment and explain how they impact adult relationships.

The three main types of attachment are secure, anxious, and avoidant. These attachment styles form in childhood and affect adult relationships. In general, secure attachment is positive for relationships, whereas anxious and avoidant attachment predict relationship problems.

empathy

a response to another individual's experiences that takes the other's perspective

disorganized attachment

a type of attachment that is marked by an infant's inconsistent reactions to the caregiver's departure and return. •It is often seen in people who have been physically, verbally, neglected or sexually abused in their childhood. •A disorganized / fearful-avoidant attachment style develops when the child's caregivers - the only source of safety - become a source of fear. •They may act in ways that do not make sense, demonstrating unpredictable, confusing or erratic behavior in these relationships. •individuals with a disorganized attachment often can't make sense of their experiences. They have trouble forming a coherent narrative. •If they suffered abuse, they may offer unusual explanations for their abuser's behavior. When they're asked to convey details of their relationship with their parents, their stories are fragmented, and they have difficulty expressing themselves clearly.

anxiety

attachment dimension suggesting a negative view of oneself

avoidance

attachment dimension suggesting a negative view of others

Fearful attachment

attachment style with high anxiety and high avoidance; a style of attachment with a negative view of both self and other

Preoccupied attachment

attachment style with high anxiety but low avoidance; a style of attachment with a positive view of the other but a negative view of the self

Dismissing attachment

attachment style with low anxiety but high avoidance; a style of attachment with a positive view of the self and a negative view of the other

disorganized attachment and trauma

person who grew up with a disorganized attachment often won't learn healthy ways to self-soothe. •They may have trouble socially or struggle in using others to co-regulate their emotions. •It may be difficult for them to open up to others or to seek out help. •They often have difficulty trusting people, as they were unable to trust those they relied on for safety growing up. •They may struggle in their relationships or friendships or when parenting their own children • They often have difficulty managing stress and may even demonstrate hostile or aggressive behaviors. • Because of their negative early life experiences, they may see the world as an unsafe place. •Such individuals could also suffer from other mental health issues, such as substance abuse, depression, or borderline personality disorder Dissociation

Attachment in Adult Relationships

•Ainsworth's central premise was that the responsive mother provides a secure base. The infant needs to know that his primary caregiver is steady, dependable, there for him. •Attachment figure as a secure base from which an infant can explore the world. •Early attachment experiences with caregivers predict attachment later in life According to Hazan and Shaver, the emotional bond that develops between adult romantic partners is partly a function of the same motivational system--the attachment behavioral system--that gives rise to the emotional bond between infants and their caregivers. Hazan and Shaver noted that the relationship between infants and caregivers and the relationship between adult romantic partners share the following features: • •both feel safe when the other is nearby and responsive •both engage in close, intimate, bodily contact •both feel insecure when the other is inaccessible •both share discoveries with one another •both play with one another's facial features and exhibit a mutual fascination and preoccupation with one another

The Dimensional Approach to Attachment

•Experiences in close relationships (ECR), Brennan and Shaver •Places people on two attachment dimensions: •Anxiety: Nervousness about relationships along with a negative view of oneself Avoidance: Lack of desire for emotional connection to relationship partners and a negative view of others •A combination of these two dimensions leads to four possible types of attachment: •Secure attachment •Preoccupied attachment •Dismissing attachment •Fearful attachment

The Wire Mother Experiment

•Harlow (1958) separated infant monkeys from their mothers immediately after birth and placed in cages with access to two surrogate mothers, one made of wire and one covered in soft terry toweling cloth. • •In the first group, the terrycloth mother provided no food, while the wire mother did, in the form of an attached baby bottle containing milk. • •Both groups of monkeys spent more time with the cloth mother (even if she had no milk). The infant would only go to the wire mother when hungry. • •Once fed it would return to the cloth mother for most of the day. If a frightening object was placed in the cage the infant took refuge with the cloth mother (its safe base). • •Monkeys with cloth mothers were better adjusted •Derived a sense of security and warmth from the cloth Monkeys with wire mothers had significant social problems

Attachment: The Building Blocks of Relationships

•Harlow concluded that for a monkey to develop normally it must have some interaction with an object to which they can cling during the first months of life (critical period). • •Clinging is a natural response - in times of stress the monkey runs to the object to which it normally clings as if the clinging decreases the stress

Anxious Attachment and Romantic Relationships

•Instead of feeling real love or trust toward their partner, they often feel emotional hunger. •Frequently looking to their partner to rescue or complete them. Although they're seeking a sense of safety and security by clinging to their partner, they take actions that push their partner away. •Even though anxiously attached individuals act desperate or insecure, more often than not, their behavior exacerbates their own fears. When they feel unsure of their partner's feelings and unsafe in their relationship, they often become clingy, demanding or possessive toward their partner. •They may also interpret independent actions by their partner as affirmation of their fears. For example, if their partner starts socializing more with friends, they may think, "See? He doesn't really love me. This means he is going to leave me. I was right not to trust him."

Mary Ainsworth and the Strange situation

•Mary Ainsworth expanded and empirically tested Bowlby's original work. •The "Strange Situation" study revealed the profound effects of attachment on behavior. •Researchers observed children between the ages of 12 and 18 months as they responded to a situation in which they were briefly left alone and then reunited with their mothers. •Ainsworth described three major styles of attachment: secure attachment, ambivalent-insecure attachment, and avoidant-insecure attachment. •Later, Main and Solomon (1986) added a fourth attachment style called disorganized-insecure attachment

Avoidant Attachment and Romantic Relationships

•People with a dismissive avoidant attachment tend to lead more inward lives, both denying the importance of loved ones and detaching easily from them. •They are often psychologically defended and have the ability to shut down emotionally. •Even in heated or emotional situations, they are able to turn off their feelings and not react. For example, if their partner is distressed and threatens to leave them, they would respond by saying, "I don't care."

How Childhood attachment styles shape adult romantic relationships

•Secure adults tend to be more satisfied in their relationships than insecure adults. Their relationships are characterized by greater longevity, trust, commitment, and interdependence (e.g., Feeney, Noller, & Callan, 1994), and they are more likely to use romantic partners as a secure base from which to explore the world (e.g., Fraley & Davis, 1997). •Avoidant men are less likely to seek physical contact •Anxious men and women are more likely to be upset when separated from partners

Secure Attachment and Romantic Relationships

•Securely attached adults tend to be more satisfied in their relationships. A secure adult has a similar relationship with their romantic partner, feeling secure and connected, while allowing themselves and their partner to move freely. •Secure adults offer support when their partner feels distressed. •They also go to their partner for comfort when they themselves feel troubled. •Their relationship tends to be honest, open and equal, with both people feeling independent, yet loving toward each other.

Avoidant Attachment

•Someone with avoidant attachment avoids closeness and may be uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. This attachment style develops when a caregiver is consistently unavailable or even abusive; children learn to distrust the caregiver and relationships more generally. The child often learns to get by on his own without seeking support from the caregiver (Bowlby, 1990). Those who grow up with this attachment style are less inclined to become close to others and may avoid intimacy altogether. Avoidant attachment •Child avoids closeness •May be uncomfortable with emotional intimacy •When caregiver is consistently unavailable or abusive •Child learns to distrust caregiver and relationships

Strange situation

•Used to test attachment in young children that involves separation from a parent •Almost all babies cry or look upset when mothers leave, but differ in how they react when mothers return • •Securely attached babies smile and look happy •Anxious babies keep crying and are difficult to comfort •Avoidant babies look away and refuse to acknowledge mother

Attachment: The Building Blocks of Relationships

•We are wired to connect •First relationships are with parents, which set stage for later relationships •Caregiver provides security and protection, called a secure base •Attachment can be defined as a deep and enduring emotional bond between two people in which each seeks closeness and feels more secure when in the presence of the attachment figure. •Our perception of the world and people is shaped by the reliability of primary caregivers

Attachment theory

•psychology, zoology and primate ethology •The evolutionary theory of attachment (e.g., Bowlby, Harlow, Lorenz) suggests that children come into the world biologically pre-programmed to form attachments with others, because this will help them to survive. •Attachment is innate